Quintilian: DECLAMATIONES MAIORES

Abdicare et recusare liceat. Pauperis et divitis inimicorum filii iuvenes amici erant. filius divitis, cum in piratas incidisset, scripsit patri de redemptione.

Let it be permitted to abdicate and to refuse. The sons of a poor man and of a rich man, enemies, were young friends. filius divitis, when he had fallen among pirates, wrote to his father about ransom.

illo morante profectus pauperis filius, cum amicum apud piratas non invenisset, quia lanistae venierat, pervenit in civitatem, in qua munus parabatur, sub tempus ipsum, quo pugnaturus erat divitis filius. pactus est cum munerario pauper adulescens, ut vicariis operis redimeret amicum, petitque, ut, si egeret pauper pater, alimenta ei praestaret. ipse in pugna occisus est.

While that man delayed, the poor man’s son set out; when he had not found his friend among the pirates, because he had been sold to a lanista, he arrived in the city in which a munus was being prepared, at the very time at which the rich man’s son was about to fight. The poor youth struck a pact with the munerary official, that he might redeem his friend by vicarious work, and he requested that, if the poor father were in need, he should furnish him with aliments. He himself was slain in the fight.

divitis filius reversus egentem invenit pauperem. Palam coepit alere; abdicatur.

the son of the rich man, having returned, found the poor man destitute. He began to feed him openly; he is disowned.

[1] Neminem umquam, iudices, intra tam breve aetatis suae spatium plura terra marique perpessum, quam quae proxima peregrinatione vel tuli vel timui vel vidi, facilis, ut opinor, fides est, cum ex omnibus, quos novimus, mortalibus unus nominari me miserior possit, quem infelicem ego feci. tamen in hac quoque omnia excogitantis in me fortunae violentia confiteor numquam hunc me concepisse animo metum, ne post redemptum per alienas manus filium displiceret patri meo misericordia. illas verebar magis iam non tacitas vulgi opiniones, quibus crudelitatis atque saevitiae reus peragor.

[1] That no one ever, judges, within so brief a span of his lifetime has endured more by land and sea than the things which on the most recent journey I either bore or feared or saw, is easy, as I suppose, to credit, since, of all mortals we know, a single person can be named more wretched than I—the one whom I myself made ill-fated. yet even in this violence of Fortune, contriving everything against me, I confess I never conceived in my mind this fear, lest, after the son had been ransomed through the hands of others, my mercy should be displeasing to my father. those opinions of the crowd, now no longer silent, I feared more, by which I am prosecuted as guilty of cruelty and savagery.

apud plerosque sanctos et graves homines nondum excusare potui, quod redemptus sum; obicitur mihi orbatus senex et ille, qui modo salvo filio etiam contra divitem steterat, amissis in uno iuvene omnibus bonis inimicae domus supplex. licet enim totas advocemus in odia fortunae vires et unum egentem senem universa gratiae mole calcemus, confitendum est tamen: plus amici nocuimus quam inimici. quin ipsa prorogatae cotidiana stipe infelicis animae videtur quodammodo maligna clementia; quod enim beneficium est efficere, ut vivat orbus?

among very many holy and grave men I have not yet been able to excuse that I was ransomed; the bereft old man is cast in my teeth, and that man who, when his son was safe, had even stood against the rich man, now, having lost all his goods in one youth, is a suppliant at the hostile house. for although we may summon the whole forces into hatred against Fortune and crush one needy old man beneath the entire mass of favor, it must nevertheless be confessed: as friends we have harmed more than enemies. nay rather, the very daily dole prolonged to an unlucky soul seems in a certain way a malign clemency; for what benefaction is it to bring it about that the bereft one lives?

unum tamen vel gravius crimen infelix haec abdicationis meae fortuna defendit, quod vix ad sustinendum spiritum sufficientis cibos, prorsus tantum mortis inpedimenta avara manu dederim. puto, iam ignoscetis omnes, si plus praestare non potui invito patre.

yet one, or even a graver, charge this unlucky fortune of my abdication (disinheritance) does defend: that with a miserly hand I have given scarcely food sufficient to sustain breath, altogether only the impedimenta of death. I think you will all now forgive, if I could not furnish more, my father being unwilling.

[2] Quamquam, iudices, oboritur animo meo nonnumquam et illa suspicio, quod patrem non alimenta uni seni parce vivere adsueto nec liberaliter data nec diu danda in offensam meam compulerint: quantulum est enim facultatibus divitis, quod sub patre sane tenaci filio familiae superest! ac si foret maius forte momentum, quis tamen parens tam durus est, ut propter aliquam inpensam carere filio velit? . . . quod ipse celatus sit, quod non suae misericordiae pauperem commiserim, non rogaverim, praesertim qui, quicquid umquam petii a patre, exoravi?

[2] Although, judges, that suspicion also now and then arises in my mind, that it was not the aliments for one old man, accustomed to live sparingly, neither given liberally nor to be given for long, that drove my father into offense against me: for how small a thing is it, to the resources of a rich man, that which remains to a filiusfamilias under a decidedly tight-fisted father! And even if perchance the weight were greater, what parent is so hard as to wish to be deprived of his son on account of some expense? . . . that he himself was kept concealed, that I did not commend the poor man to his mercy, that I did not ask—especially I who, whatever I ever sought from my father, I won by entreaty?

sed neque haec ultimo fulmine castigari meruit in differendis precibus verecunda cunctatio. quid dum tempus opportunum, faciles aditus, hilariorem animum capto, interim volui superesse, cui ignosceret. neque infitior tamen fuisse me lentiorem, quam oportuit, tametsi hoc praecipue habere videor patris simile.

but neither did this modest cunctation in deferring my prayers deserve to be castigated by the ultimate thunderbolt. What if, while awaiting an opportune time, easy access, when I had caught him in a more cheerful mood, I wished in the meantime that there should remain someone for him to forgive? nor do I deny, however, that I was slower than was fitting, although in this especially I seem to have something of my father’s likeness.

Sed si ulla emendatio paenitentiae est, hic in publico vobis adhibitis rogabo. non ego aes alienum luxuria contraxi, nec profusus in vitia fortuna nostra male usus sum. redemptionis meae pretium debeo.

But if there is any emendation of penitence, here in public, with you called in, I will ask. nor did I contract debt through luxury, nor, profligate in vices, did I ill use our fortune. the price of my redemption I owe.

si inpetro, intellegam verum esse, quod quidam opinantur, ambitiosum patrem publicare voluisse domus suae misericordiam, ne viderentur pauperes tantum vitam inimicis suis dedisse. si perseverat, ut porrectos egenti cibos mea fame rependat, expulsum ab omnibus bonis filium similem faciat inimico, vereor, ne iniquis aestimatoribus inexpiabilis illius et saepe reprehensi odii culpa videatur penes patrem, qui tam facile irascitur.

if I obtain it, I shall understand it to be true, what certain persons suppose, that an ambitious father wished to publicize the mercy of his house, lest the poor should seem to have given only life to their enemies. if he persists, so as to repay with my hunger the foods proffered to the needy, making a son, expelled from all good things, like an enemy, I fear lest, to unjust evaluators, the blame of that inexpiable and often reprehended hatred may seem to rest with the father, who grows angry so easily.

[3] Verum enim, si placet, fortunae magis moribus dissedere quam suis; nam et paupertatis est proprium, quando alia deficiant, exerere libertatem et, dum contemptus fama vitatur, potentiores vel ambitiose offendere, et nacta bonam conscientiam magna fortuna indignius inparem adversarium patitur. ergo conseruit, ut solet, casus duratura longius a parvis initiis odia, dum contumeliam humilitas facilius intellegit, dignitas gravius. neque ulla fuit aemulatio (quae enim esse inter inpares potest?), sed fato quodam similis ex diversis causis contentio.

[3] But indeed, if you please, let conduct be taken to disagree rather with one’s fortune than with itself; for it is a property of poverty, when other resources fail, to exert its liberty and, while the reputation of being despised is avoided, to offend the more powerful even ambitiously; and great fortune, having gotten a good conscience, endures an unequal adversary the more indignantly. Therefore, as is its wont, chance stitched together hatreds that would last longer from small beginnings, while lowliness more easily perceives contumely, dignity more heavily. Nor was there any emulation (for what can there be between unequals?), but, by a certain fate, a contention like it from different causes.

hic <in> irascendo pertinax erat, ille in cedendo contumax. quamquam, nisi ultimam exprimere confessionem victi ut<r>ique placuisset, multa iam pridem signa dederant veniae finemque pugnae petentis. nam quo pertinuisse credimus, quod pauper adulescens relictis omnibus solum me, quem coleret, quem amaret, elegerat?

this man was pertinacious in becoming angry; that man contumacious in yielding. and yet, unless it had pleased both to squeeze out the ultimate confession of the vanquished, they had long since given many signs of seeking pardon and an end of the fight. for to what do we think it tended, that the poor young man, with all others left behind, had chosen me alone—to honor, to love?

sine dubio a primis aetatis annis iunxerat nos potentissimus amor ille puerilis, dum aut nulla erant inter parentes odia aut a nobis non intellegebantur. post <di>ductas tamen domos perseveravit, immo inpensius laboravit, et, si quid mihi in eo satis perspectum est, nihil horum fecit invito patre. quantum intellegere potui, pauper sine dubio pudore cedendi, ne damnasse causam suam videretur, simul quod nulla ipsi dabatur gratiae via, stare visus in suscepto circuitu tamen quodam molliores temptavit aditus, et, dum firma tandem pax inpetraretur, filium nobis obsidem dedit.

Without doubt from the earliest years of our age that most powerful puerile love had joined us, while either there were no hatreds between the parents, or they were not understood by us. After the households, however, were divided, it persevered—nay, it strove more earnestly—and, if I have seen anything clearly enough in him, he did none of these things against his father’s will. So far as I could understand, the poor man, without doubt, from the shame of yielding—lest he should seem to have condemned his own cause—and at the same time because no path of favor was given to him, seemed to stand firm in the undertaken circuit; yet by a certain detour he tried gentler approaches, and, until a firm peace might at length be obtained, he gave his son to us as a hostage.

[4] ac ne meus quidem offendi visus est pater; certe numquam reprehendit, numquam prohibuit. nec clam feci, nec contumacem adversus patris inperia umquam fuisse me vel ipse rerum declarat ordo.

[4] and not even my father seemed to be offended; certainly he never reprehended, never prohibited. nor did I do it covertly, nor does even the very order of events declare that I was ever contumacious against my father’s imperia.

Nam quamvis infestum latronibus mare iussus intravi neque dissimulaverim magnas fuisse causas patri, cur hoc mihi imperaret, quod ipse facere non potuerat. ego, etsi nesciebam, non interrogavi; satis plena ratio fuit patrem velle. felix navigantium condicio, qui procellas modo et saevos tempestatis incursus et albentes fluctibus scopulos aliaque pericula tantum maris pertulerunt!

For although, with the sea infested by pirates, I entered it under orders, nor would I dissimulate that there were great causes for my father why he commanded this to me—something he himself had not been able to do. I, even if I did not know, did not ask; my father’s willing it was a sufficiently full rationale. Happy the condition of sailors, who have endured only the storms and the savage incursions of the tempest and the rocks whitening with the waves and the other perils of the sea alone!

ego miser naufragis invideo: captus barbaris manibus nec tam nexu catenarum vinctus quam pondere inundatum carcerem tuli et vincula macie laxavi. quis non ignosceret omnibus, qui post hoc exemplum navigare timuissent? ergo, qua una spe misera trahebatur anima, litteras de redemptione scripsi patri, testor deos, soli.

I, wretched, envy the shipwrecked: seized in barbarian hands and bound not so much by the nexus of chains as by their weight, I endured a prison inundated, and by leanness I slackened the bonds. Who would not forgive all who, after this example, were afraid to navigate? Therefore, on that single hope by which my wretched soul was being dragged along, I wrote letters concerning redemption (ransom) to my father, I call the gods to witness, to him alone.

quid enim sentire viderer de parentis adfectu, si hoc incolumi redemptionem ab alio petivissem? nam quod unum mihi secundum patrem fortuna videbatur parasse praesidium, hoc sperare in illa sorte non poteram; quid attinebat amico scribere, quem sciebam non habere, unde redimeret?

For what would I seem to think of a parent’s affection, if, with him unharmed, I had sought a ransom from another? For the one protection which Fortune seemed to have prepared for me, next after my father, this I could not hope for in that lot; what was the point of writing to a friend, whom I knew did not have the means whence to ransom me?

[5] Numquamne mihi dabitur liberum tempus conquerendi apud patrem de amicis suis, qui proficisci volentem retinere temptarunt, qui piae festinationi attulerunt moras? profectus esset tamen vel invitis omnibus (quis enim non hoc praestaret filio pater?), nisi quod interim amicus antecessit. illum non pericula maris, non infesti latronibus sinus, non vicinum meae fortunae documentum prohibuit.

[5] Will I never be granted free time to complain before my father about his friends, who tried to hold back one willing to set out, who brought delays to a pious haste? He would nevertheless have departed even with everyone unwilling (for what father would not grant this to a son?), except that meanwhile a friend went on ahead. Him neither the dangers of the sea, nor an inlet infested with brigands, nor the near example of my fortune deterred.

minus haec miror de amico; illud est, quod pensari nullis beneficiis possit: proficiscentem non retinuit pater. immo, si quid in subsidia vitae seposuerat parca frugalitas, id omne in impensas itineris contraxit et contulit. infelicissime senex, sic egere coepisti!

I marvel less at these things about the friend; it is this which can be balanced by no benefactions: the father did not restrain the one departing. Nay rather, if sparing frugality had set aside anything for the subsidies of life, he drew together and contributed all of it to the expenses of the journey. Most ill-fated old man, thus you have begun to be in need!

dicam nunc ego, per quos iuvenis praestantissimus navigaverit fluctus, quos accesserit scopulos, quantos lustraverit sinus? faciliora ista putant qui numquam navigaverunt. in omnia praeceps, sine respectu sui, quem iam tum apparebat vitae non parcere, adiit, exploravit, et tamen ille quoque, qui tanto opere festinabat, sero pervenit.

Shall I now tell through what waves a most preeminent youth navigated, what crags he approached, how many bays he traversed? Those who have never navigated think those things easier. Headlong into everything, without regard for himself—he who even then appeared not to spare life—he went to it, he explored; and yet he too, who was hurrying with such great zeal, arrived late.

Audite, audite, iudices, novam captivi querelam: iam miser apud piratas non eram; alebat devotum corpus gravior omni fame sagina, et inter dedita noxae mancipia contemptissimus tiro gladiator, ut novissime perderem calamitatis meae innocentiam, discebam cotidie scelus. haec tamen omnia sustinui, tuli; adeo difficile est etiam sua causa mori.

Hear, hear, judges, the novel complaint of a captive: already, wretched as I was, I was no longer among the pirates; a stuffing more grievous than any hunger was fattening my body devoted to death, and, among slaves surrendered for guilt, as the most despised tyro gladiator, so that at the last I might lose the innocence of my calamity, I was learning crime day by day. Yet all these things I endured, I bore; so difficult it is even for one’s own sake to die.

[6] et iam dies aderat, iamque ad spectaculum supplicii nostri populus convenerat, iam ostentata per harenam periturorum corpora mortis suae pompam duxerant. sedebat sanguine nostro favorabilis dominus, cum me, cuius, ut interiecto mari, non fortunam quisquam nosse, non natales, non patrem poterat, una tamen res faceret apud quosdam miserabilem, quod videbar inique comparatus; certa enim harenae destinabar victima, nemo munerario vilius steterat. fremebant ubique omnia apparatu mortis: hic ferrum acuebat, ille accendebat ignibus laminas, hinc virgae, inde flagella adferebantur.

[6] and now the day was at hand, and already the people had gathered for the spectacle of our punishment, already the bodies of those about to perish, displayed through the arena, had conducted the pomp of their own death. the lord, winning favor by our blood, sat, while I—whose fortune, as with the sea interposed, no one could know, nor birth, nor father—was nevertheless made pitiable among certain persons by one thing, that I seemed unfairly matched; for I was destined as a sure victim for the arena, no one had stood cheaper to the sponsor of the games. everywhere all things roared with the apparatus of death: here one was sharpening iron, there another was heating plates in the fires, from here rods, from there scourges were being brought.

homines piratas putares. sonabant clangore ferali tubae, inlatisque Libitinae toris ducebatur funus ante mortem. ubique vulnera, gemitus, cruor; totum in oculis periculum.

you would have taken the men for pirates. The trumpets resounded with a funereal clangor, and with Libitina’s biers brought in, a funeral was led before death. Everywhere wounds, groans, gore; the peril wholly before the eyes.

si quid est in me abdicatione dignum, iudices, unum crimen agnosco: quod in haec amicum meum misi. est quidem felicibus difficilis miseriarum vera aestimatio, figurare tamen potestis, qui tunc animus mihi, quae cogitatio fuerit.

if there is anything in me worthy of abdication, judges, I acknowledge one crime: that I sent my friend into this. indeed for the fortunate a true estimation of miseries is difficult; nevertheless you can figure what then my spirit was, what the thought was.

[7] namque et natura redit in extremis tristis praeteritae voluptatis recordatio, et mihi cum generis conscientia, cum fortunae conspicuus aliquando fulgor, cum liberales artes, cum omnia quondam honestiora munerario meo, domus, familia, amici ceteraque numquam videnda in ultima mortis expectatione succurrerent tenenti servilia arma et ignominiosa morte perituro, tum, si ulla miseris fides est, quid horum omnium ignari agerent propinqui, nihil peius de fortuna mea suspicantes, quam quod scripseram. illud tamen gravissimum, quod patrem, qui tamdiu non veniret, captum putabam. ergo tota cogitatione intentus in mortem expectabam cruentum illum confectorem.

[7] for indeed by nature in extremities the sad recollection of past pleasure returns, and to me, along with the consciousness of my lineage, along with the once conspicuous splendor of fortune, along with the liberal arts, along with all the things once more honorable to my office as giver of games—my house, household, friends, and the rest, never to be seen again in the last expectation of death—kept coming to mind, as I held servile arms and was about to perish by an ignominious death; then, if any credence is due to the wretched, what my kinsmen, ignorant of all these things, were doing, suspecting nothing worse about my fortune than what I had written. Yet most grievous was this: that my father, who for so long was not coming, I supposed to have been captured. Therefore, with my whole thought intent upon death, I was awaiting that bloody executioner.

quis enim dubitet, quid futurum fuerit, si ego pugnassem? ille quoque occisus est, qui inter nos, ut apparet, fortior fuit.

For who would doubt what would have happened, if I had fought? He too was killed, who, between us, as it appears, was the stronger.

His cogitationibus attonito et in mortem iam paene demerso inopinata subito amici mei species offulsit. obstupui totumque corpus percurrit frigidus pavor, neque aliter, quam si vana obiceretur oculis imago, mente captus steti. ubi primum lux rediit laxatumque est iter voci, 'quid tu,' inquam, 'quo casu pervenisti huc, miser?

Thunderstruck by these cogitations and now almost submerged into death, the unexpected appearance of my friend suddenly flashed forth. I was stupefied, and a frigid fear ran through my whole body, and I stood bereft of mind, no otherwise than if a vain image were being cast before my eyes. When first light returned and the path was loosened for my voice, 'what of you,' I say, 'by what chance have you come hither, poor wretch?

numquid et te vendidere piratae?' at ille complexus cervices meas, effusis in pectus meum lacrimis solutus, intercepto prope iam spiritu sero iam trepidante me primam vocem et diu solam edidit: 'satis vixi.' ut vero causas itineris reddidit et venisse se ad redimendum indicavit, 'et unde,' inquam, 'tibi pecunia, nisi redistis in gratiam, et te pater meus misit?'

'have the pirates sold you as well?' But he, clasping my neck, dissolved with tears poured upon my breast, his breath now almost cut off, as I now, too late, was trembling, uttered his first, and for a long time only, voice: 'I have lived enough.' But when he rendered the causes of his journey and indicated that he had come to ransom me, 'and whence,' I said, 'is the money for you, unless you have returned into favor, and my father sent you?'

[8] Audite gentes, audite populi! non solita iudicium nostrum corona circumstet, sed, si patitur natura rerum, totus ad cognitionem talis exempli orbis circumfluat. tacete, priora saecula, in quibus tamen a primordio generis humani paucissima amicitiae paria admirabiliora fecerat longa temporibus nostris fides intercepta.

[8] Hear, nations, hear, peoples! Let not the customary crown stand around our judgment, but, if the nature of things permits, let the whole world flow around to the cognition of such an example. Be silent, earlier ages, in which, however, from the primordium of the human race the very few pairs of friendship had been made more admirable by long-standing fidelity, intercepted in our times.

quicquid historiae tradiderunt, carmina finxerunt, fabulae adiecerunt sub hac conparatione taceant. quis crederet, si dubitari posset, inter duos amicos, quorum alterum immunem malorum omnium fortuna fecerat, alterum piratis ac lanistae tradiderat, meliorem condicionem fuisse captivi? 'si dives essem,' inquit, 'pecuniam pro te attulissem.

Whatever histories have handed down, poems have fashioned, fables have added—let them be silent under this comparison. Who would believe, if it could be doubted, that between two friends, of whom fortune had made the one immune from all evils, had handed over the other to pirates and to a lanista (gladiator-trainer), the condition of the captive was better? 'If I were wealthy,' he says, 'I would have brought money for you.'

quod unum pauperibus praesidium est, manus habeo. has piratis daturus fui, has pro te in pugnam vicarias dabo.'

'What the one protection of the poor is, I have—hands. These I was going to give to the pirates; these I will give into the fight as vicarious ones for you.'

Ignosce, pater, quod nimia contentione adfectus paene tibi orbitatis vulnus inpresserim. testor deos non per me stetisse, quod vivo. neque enim ita me efferarat ludus, aut in tantum duraverat animum caedis longa meditatio, ut eum amicum vellem occidi, qui pro me mori poterat.

Forgive me, father, that, affected by excessive contention, I almost imprinted upon you the wound of bereavement. I call the gods to witness that it was not by my doing that I live. For neither had the gladiatorial school so brutalized me, nor had long meditation on slaughter so hardened my mind, that I would wish that friend to be killed who could die for me.

vindicabam mihi fortunam meam et adhuc necessitatis gladiator depugnare etiam volebam, neque ullis precibus poteram evinci, quamquam se non superfuturum alioquin minabatur idque unum adfirmabat interesse, utrum vicarium mallem habere mortis an comitem. non vici. quid igitur actum sit, quaeritis?

I was vindicating to myself my fortune, and, still a gladiator of necessity, I even wanted to fight it out; nor could I be overcome by any entreaties, although he threatened that otherwise he would not survive, and he affirmed that this one thing made the difference: whether I preferred to have a substitute in death or a companion. I did not prevail. What then was done, you ask?

duxit me ad munerarium, iudices. quas ego illius preces, quam pertinaces lacrimas, quam miserabilem obtestationem vidi! nemo umquam sic rogavit missionem.

He led me to the munerarius, judges. What prayers of his I beheld, how persistent the tears, how pitiable the adjuration! No one ever begged for discharge thus.

transferuntur in illum detracta corpori meo arma, et male aptatis insignibus destinatum par producitur.

The arms stripped from my body are transferred onto him, and, with the insignia ill-fitted, the appointed counterpart is brought forth.

[9] Quid me admonetis supremarum amici mei precum, quibus haec alimenta caro empta inopi patris senectuti petit[a]? adiutorium hoc ad causam putatis? me pudet, quod rogatus sum. 'per hanc,' inquit, 'mihi lucem ultimam, per notissimam amoris nostri fidem, non sinas mendicare parentem meum.

[9] Why do you admonish me of my friend's last prayers, by which these aliments, dearly bought, were sought for my needy father's old age? Do you think this a help to the cause? I am ashamed that I was asked. 'By this,' he says, 'my last light, by the most well-known faith of our love, do not allow my father to beg.'

sustineas, adiuves, praestes affectum. si mereor, tu sis illi vicarius meus.' nec plura dicendi tempus fuit, iamque suprema per galeam dederam oscula, digressisque in diversum ministris permissus Mars erat. o quam sollicitus spectavi!

may you sustain, aid, and furnish affection. if I merit it, be to him my vicar.' nor was there time for saying more, and already I had given the last kisses through the helmet, and with the attendants having gone apart in different directions, Mars had been given leave. O how anxious I watched!

quam attonita mente! quam simili corporis motu! quotiens ad infestum mucronem, quasi ipse peterer, me summisi, quotiens ad conatus erectus sum!

How astonished in mind! how with a like movement of the body! how many times toward the hostile blade, as if I myself were being targeted, I lowered myself; how many times at their attempts I sprang erect!

o misera cogitatio, o crudelis natura metus! merito tu, amice, pugnare maluisti. facinus indignum illum animum, illum ardorem non contigisse castris, non bellicis certaminibus, ubi vera virtus nulla pugnandi lege ~praemium scribitur.~ qua vi proelium invaserat iratus etiamnum tamquam adversario meo!

O wretched cogitation, O cruel nature of fear! Rightly you, friend, preferred to fight. A deed unworthy, that that spirit, that ardor did not pertain to the camp, not to martial contests, where for true virtue by no law of fighting is ~the prize written.~ With what force he had assaulted the battle, still angered as if at my adversary!

at omnis impetus excipiebatur callide, veterani gladiatoris astu; omnes conatus contra se erant. nec difficilem tamen sub illo praesertim auctoramento habuisset missionem, sed noluit gladiator vivere. igitur iam nudum corpus vulneribus offerens, ut totam pro me mercedem semel solveret, stans periit.

but every assault was cunningly parried, with the astuteness of a veteran gladiator; all attempts were turned against their maker. nor, however, would he have had a difficult discharge, especially under that enlistment-bounty (auctoramentum), but the gladiator did not wish to live. therefore, now offering his naked body to wounds, so that he might pay the whole price on my behalf at once, he perished standing.

cui licuit in patria, in domo, inter propinquos securo consenescere aevo, cui tranquillam sine reprehensione agere vitam, iacet confectus vulneribus, et primo iuventae flore fraudatus periit miser fato meo. at ego, qui debebar illi fortunae, quem mors sibi destinaverat, emissus ludo nocentior quam venditus etiam viatico illius infelicis revertor. placeamus licet nobis fortuna nostra, pater, pauperi solvendo non sumus.

he to whom it was permitted in his fatherland, in his home, among his kin to grow old in a secure age, to whom it was permitted to live a tranquil life without reprehension, lies worn out with wounds, and, defrauded of the first flower of youth, perished wretched by my fate. but I, who was owed to that fortune, whom death had destined for itself, emitted from the ludus more guilty than when sold, even with the viaticum of that unfortunate man, return. even if our fortune be pleasing to us, father, we are not solvent to the pauper.

[10] Si qua est fides, iudices, pudet me contra indicare mea beneficia, nec videor vobis rationem posse reddere, quod mihi tam parum obiciatur. redemptoris mei patri in pretium meum orbo, egenti quid praestiti? quod pirata capto, quod lanista gladiatori, exiguam stipem et cibos semper petendos.

[10] If there is any good faith, judges, I am ashamed to point out in reply my benefactions, nor do I seem able to render you an account, given that so little is brought against me. to my redeemer’s father, toward my purchase-price—bereaved, destitute—what did I provide? only what a pirate to a captive, what a lanista to a gladiator: an exiguous stipend and victuals always to be begged.

quantulum enim dari poterat, quod non sentiret dominus tam curiosus? de hac re consedistis, hoc concitavit istam iudicii scaenam, panis datus mendico, et dilatata hac impotentiae nostrae opinione videamur amicos ferro occidere, inimicos fame. computemus totam istam meae luxuriae impensam, audite summam et miramini, si hos sumptus ne divitiae quidem sustinent.

For what tiny amount indeed could be given that a master so curious would not perceive? On this matter you have sat, this has stirred up that judgment-scene: bread given to a mendicant; and, with this opinion of our overweening impotence broadcast, we seem to kill friends with iron, enemies with hunger. Let us compute that whole expense of my luxury; hear the sum and marvel, if not even riches can sustain these outlays.

tanti constat patri captivitas mea, cum tam caro redemptus sim. quo tandem patereris animo, si delicatus adulescens, praesertim splendidis op[er]ibus vel ex aetate mores vel ex fortuna traxissem et tempestiva convivia et pervigiles iocos advocata sodalium turba solutus atque affluens agerem, tantumque impenderem, quantum non posset te ignorante consumi (quae tamen ipsa boni patres libenter annis remiserunt), cum abdicatione dignum putes et ultimo patriae potestatis fulmine coercendum, quare mendico seni porrexerim, ut parcissime dicam, quod illi filius misit? non redempta meretrix, non egestum conviviis faenus, non lenonum parasitorumque cara adulatio in crimen venit; cibaria senis, nempe unius, aetate ac malis confecti.

my captivity costs my father so much, since I was redeemed at so dear a price. with what mind, pray, would you have borne it, if, a delicate adolescent, especially with splendid works, I had drawn my morals either from my age or from my fortune, and, unbridled and affluent, were conducting timely banquets and all-night jests with a summoned crowd of comrades, and were expending as much as could not be consumed without your knowing (which things, however, good fathers themselves have readily remitted with the years), when you deem me worthy of disinheritance and to be checked by the ultimate thunderbolt of paternal power, because I reached out to a beggar old man, to speak most sparingly, with what his son sent to him? not a redeemed prostitute, not interest poured out on banquets, not the costly adulation of pimps and parasites comes into accusation; but the rations of an old man—of one man, at that—worn out by age and misfortunes.

hoc divitias tuas concutit? hoc fundatam paternis avitisque opibus domum exhaurit? si tam avarus es, computa; adhuc de alieno vixi.

Does this shake your riches? Does this exhaust a house founded on paternal and ancestral resources? If you are so avaricious, compute; up to now I have lived on what belongs to another.

[11] At haec fortasse, quae circumstat iudicium, corona et omnis ignara causae turba magnum nescio quid et portento simile crimen expectat. abdicas me, pater, tam cito? modo tibi ex illa funesta peregrinatione insperatus revertor, unde ut venirem, vix optare potuisti; nulla adhuc pro reditu meo soluta sunt vota, non percussae diis immortalibus hostiae; redemptori certe gratiam non retulimus.

[11] But perhaps this ring that surrounds the trial, the whole crowd ignorant of the case, expects some great I-know-not-what crime, portent-like. Do you disown me, father, so quickly? Only just now I, unhoped-for, return to you from that baleful peregrination, whence, that I should come, you could scarcely have wished; no vows have yet been paid for my return, no victims have been smitten to the immortal gods; to the redeemer, assuredly, we have not returned thanks.

at ego expectabam, ut desiderio incensus affectus vix posset expleri, ut post infaustam profectionem velut obiurgatus tanto periculo numquam me post hoc saltem peregre dimitteres. Vix salutatis laribus expellor, et apud plerosque dubitari potest, an admissus sim. an hoc agis, ne quid tibi praestitisse videatur, qui me redemit?

but I was expecting that the affection, inflamed with desire, could scarcely be fulfilled, that after the ill-omened departure, as if objurgated by so great a peril, you would never, at least after this, send me abroad. Scarcely having greeted the household Lares, I am driven out, and among most people it can be doubted whether I was even admitted. Or is it this you aim at, that he who redeemed me may seem to have rendered you nothing?

saevus enim, credo, et impius et, quod maximum omnium vitiorum signum est, ingratus beneficia patris non aestimo; fortasse, cui vitam debeam, nescio, nulla est apud animum meum memoria meritorum. miserum me, quod non possum tantum solvere, quantum accepi!

for savage, I suppose, and impious, and—what is the greatest sign of all vices—ungrateful, I do not esteem the benefits of my father; perhaps I do not know to whom I owe my life, there is no memory of merits within my mind. Wretched me, that I cannot discharge as much as I have received!

Quamquam causas abdicationis pater altius repetit et ultra peregrinationem meam inquirit, idque ratione duplici: primum ut reum, quia premere atrocitas criminum non potest, turba confundat, deinde ut gravius videatur iudicium patris, cum is damnet, qui soleat ignoscere.

Although my father traces the causes of the disownment more deeply and inquires beyond my peregrination, and this for a twofold rationale: first, that he may confound the defendant by a crowd, since the atrocity of the charges cannot press him; then, that the judgment of the father may seem more grievous, when he condemns who is wont to pardon.

[12] 'cur,' inquit, 'cum ego inimicum haberem pauperem, tu amicum filium eius habuisti?' volo, iudices, omissa omni contentione scilicet sic agere: peccavi, veniam peto; et errare hominis est et ignoscere patris. duxit me similis aestas, evicerunt officia, cepit fides. amantem odisse non potui.

[12] 'why,' he says, 'when I had as an enemy a poor man, did you have his son as a friend?' I wish, judges, with all contention laid aside, plainly to proceed thus: I have sinned, I ask pardon; and to err is of a man and to forgive is of a father. A like age led me, duties prevailed, faith took hold. I could not hate one who loved.

nihilominus satis habundeque poenarum [est] et, si pietatem tuam bene novi, plus quam velles, datum est. quantumlibet peccaverim, quid amplius iratissimus dominus exigeret? ludo tibi satisfeci.

Nevertheless there is enough and more than enough of punishments, and, if I know your piety well, more than you would wish has been given. However much I may have sinned, what more would the most irate master exact? I have satisfied you with sport.

nullumne cladibus meis finem dari placet? parum est, quod insanos pertuli fluctus et saevis tempestatibus commissus arbitrio ventorum pependi? parum est, quod in nefarias latronum manus praeda perveni, quae ultima malorum etiam servorum condicio est, sine exceptione venalis?

Does it please that no end be given to my disasters? Is it too little that I endured insane waves and, committed to savage tempests, I hung at the discretion of the winds? Is it too little that I came as prey into the nefarious hands of brigands, which is the ultimate of evils, the very condition even of slaves, to be for sale without exception?

inde me, si voluisset, emere potuit inimicus. parum est, quod me diu piratae in carcere retentum, quia redemptorem illis divitem promiseram patrem, in ludum vendiderunt tamquam decepti? quod cotidiana pugnae meditatione tamdiu mori didici?

thence an enemy, if he had wished, could have bought me. Is it too little that pirates kept me for a long time in prison, and, because I had promised them as a redeemer my wealthy father, they sold me into the gladiatorial school as though deceived? that by daily meditation of combat I learned for so long to die?

quod compositus, armatus, inductus perieram, si melior amicus fuissem, nisi me nova velut in portu adorta tempestas paternis laribus extorrem et necessarii quoque victus inopem circum [ad] alienas mitteret domos? pudet enumerare calamitatium mearum gradus: piratam, lanistam, patrem.

that, composed, armed, indued, I would have perished, if I had been a better friend, unless a new storm, as if in harbor, having assailed me, should send me, exiled from my paternal household and needy even of necessary sustenance, around [to] alien homes? I am ashamed to enumerate the steps of my calamities: a pirate, a lanista (gladiator-master), a father.

[13] Atquin pars ista criminis, iudices, mei non defendi meruit sed laudari. neque enim reperio, quid in rebus humanis excogitarit natura praestantius amicitia, quid concordia contra fortunam maius auxilium. nam primum praeter cetera animalia induit nostris pectoribus quandam societatem, qua[e] mutuo gaudere congressu, contrahere populos, condere urbes edocuit, et, cum mentibus nostris varios imposuerit motus, nullum profecto meliorem benivolentia tribuit affectum.

[13] And yet this part of my charge, judges, did not deserve to be defended but to be praised. For I do not find what Nature has devised in human affairs more outstanding than friendship, nor any greater aid against Fortune than concord. For first, beyond the other animals, she has endowed our hearts with a certain society, which taught us to rejoice in mutual congress, to draw peoples together, to found cities; and, although she has imposed various motions upon our minds, assuredly she has granted no better affection than benevolence.

quid enim foret humano genere felicius, si omnes esse possent amici? non bella, seditiones, latrocinia, lites ceteraque mala, quae hominibus ex se ipsis nata sunt, fortunae accessissent. id quidem nimium deo visum est, at certe honestis convenire mentibus, fidem colere, amoris gratiam referre omnibus temporibus, omnibus gentibus praecipuum et quodammodo sacrum fuit.

For what would be more felicitous for the human race, if all could be friends? Not wars, seditions, brigandages, litigations, and the other evils which have arisen for men from themselves would have accrued to fortune. That indeed seemed too much to God; but surely for honorable minds to convene, to cultivate fidelity, to return the grace of love, at all times and among all peoples has been something preeminent and in a certain manner sacred.

neque enim nisi optimis mentibus contingit, ut aut sic amare sciant aut sic amari mereantur. hoc ego crimen expavescam? scires, quantopere gloriarer, pater, si cum amico meo ego redissem.

for it befalls only the best minds, that they either know how to love thus or deserve to be loved thus. Should I be terrified at this charge? You would know how greatly I would glory, father, if I had returned with my friend.

Nisi forte similitudine flagitiorum ductus turpi me coniunxeram iuveni; quae vita sine dubio nomen amicitiae non accipit, [ita] tamen, ad paria ducente natura, vitia convenera[n]t. obice mihi amicum, et habes maledicendi materiam: 'gladiator fuit, quare amicus illius fuisti?' ita, opinor, paenitet! effers te longius, dolor, et nimia concitatus ira, quo progrediare, non respicis.

Unless perhaps, led by a similitude of flagitious deeds, I had conjoined myself to a disgraceful youth; such a life without doubt does not accept the name of amity, [so] nevertheless, with nature leading to equals, the vices had convened. Object my friend to me, and you have material for malediction: 'He was a gladiator; why were you his friend?' So, I suppose, you repent! You carry yourself too far, grief, and, stirred by excessive anger, you do not look back to where you are advancing.

[14] non sentis, pater, hoc te mihi obicere, quod vivam? quisquam de illa amicitia queri potest praeter pauperem?

[14] do you not perceive, father, that you are objecting this to me—that I live? Can anyone complain about that friendship except the pauper?

'At ego inimicum habebam illius patrem.' decuerat quidem simultates, quas maxime omnium mortales esse voluere sapientes, in his desinere, in quibus nascerentur. nam sic quoque immodicas serit discordiarum fortuna causas, etiamsi non hereditaria subeamus odia, ac diutius inimicitiae maneant quam inimici. tamen, si quid adversus te ipse commisit adulescens, sit hostis et meus.

'But I had that man's father as an enemy.' It would indeed have been fitting that feuds, which the wise wished, of all things, to be mortal, should end with those in whom they were born. For even as it is, Fortune sows immoderate causes of discords, even if we do not undergo hereditary hatreds, and enmities remain longer than the enemies. Nevertheless, if the youth himself has committed anything against you, let him be my enemy too.

si innoxius et omni vacans culpa caritatem mereri cupit, si nullius me amici filius validius amat, quid tandem vis, pater? respuam et iratas obiciam manus? tu quoque non odisses pauperem, si te amaret.

If he is innocent and vacant of all blame and wishes to merit affection, if no friend’s son loves me more strongly, what then do you want, father? Shall I spurn him and set angry hands against him? You too would not hate the poor man, if he loved you.

inserit se et beneficiis certat. noras adulescentem omnia ultro praestantem, et sic me amabat, quamvis tu esses inimicus patris. adice, si tanta in adolescente indoles fuit, quantam nulla umquam cognovere saecula, si fides antiquissima et cum deorum coetu permixtis inaudita temporibus, si me semper habuit cariorem spiritu suo, etiamne despicienda mihi rarissimi boni occasio fuit?

He inserts himself and vies in benefactions. You knew the adolescent, freely proffering everything unasked, and he loved me thus, although you were an enemy of his father. Add this: if there was in the youth such an indoles as no ages have ever known; if a fidelity most ancient and unheard-of even in times commingled with the company of the gods; if he always held me dearer than his own spirit—was the occasion of a most rare good even then to be despised by me?

at ego perpetuam quandam mihi gloriam reor, quod ille caelestis animus me potissimum, quem amaret, elegerit, ego sim probatus tanto iudice. me quoque igitur feret fama per gentis, et amici laudibus inlustrior vivam. credet aliquis idem me pro illo fuisse facturum.

But I reckon for myself a certain perpetual glory, that that celestial spirit has chosen me above all as the one he would love, that I am approved by so great a judge. Fame, then, will carry me too through the nations, and by my friend’s praises I shall live more illustrious. Someone will believe that I would have done the same for him.

[15] 'Cur, cum inimici nos essemus, vos amici fuistis?' aliud hoc loco crimen agnosco: peccavimus enim, fateor, peccavimus, quod, cum amici essemus, vos inimici fuistis. haec, iudices, diutius exequerer, nisi absoluta essent ipso iudice patre. longum iam istius criminis tempus est; numquam obiecit, numquam excanduit.

[15] 'Why, when we were enemies, were you friends?' At this point I acknowledge another charge: for we have sinned, I confess, we have sinned, in that, when we were friends, you were enemies. These things, judges, I would pursue at greater length, were they not settled by the judge himself, the father. The time for that charge is now long past; he never alleged it, he never flew into a passion.

ecquid hoc inter nos, pater, convenit, ne, si longiores repetis offensas, apud malignos videaris me iratus non redemisse? sed si quid ante commisissem odio tuo dignum, potuisti me redemptum non recipere. manifestum est ergo te patiente, id est te volente amicum mihi fuisse iuvenem, et sane non solus in hac fuisti sententia: idem filio permisit et pauper.

Is this at all agreed between us, father, that, if you rehearse more long-standing offenses, you not seem among the malign to have, in anger, not redeemed me? But if I had previously committed anything worthy of your hatred, you could have not received me, though redeemed. It is manifest, therefore, that with you being patient—that is, with you willing it—the young man was a friend to me; and assuredly you were not alone in this opinion: a poor man too permitted the same to his son.

atquin si pars haec causae, quae confessione longi silentii absoluta hodie in accessionem criminis alterius deducitur, potest apud vos impetrare veniam, facilior certe sequentium ratio est: ille enim sane fuerit inimici filius, hic iam est amici pater.

And yet, if this part of the case, which, concluded by the confession of a long silence, is today being led into an accession of another charge, can obtain pardon with you, surely the reckoning of the things that follow is easier: for that one, to be sure, was an enemy’s son, this one now is a friend’s father.

Nec ignoro, iudices, quam male ista defensio de humano genere mereatur, si adeo nihil est per se misericordia, ut, nisi ulterior aliqua necessitas pudori vim fecerit, pro summo crimine damnanda sit minus necessaria humanitas. ergo si alienum et ignotum, tamen, quae publica omnium mortalium quippe sub uno parente naturae cognatio est, hominem cibo forte iuvissem, poena dignum videretur servasse perituram animam et ignovisse rebus humanis et respectu communis omnium sortis velut adorato numini [et] stipem posuisse fortunae? si hoc crimen est, laudetur ergo crudelitas, nihil habeatur piratis lanistisque prudentius.

Nor am I unaware, judges, how ill this defense would merit from the human race, if mercy is so utterly nothing in itself that, unless some further necessity had done violence to modesty, a not strictly necessary humanity ought to be condemned as a supreme crime. Therefore, if to a stranger and unknown—yet a man whom, by that kinship common to all mortals under Nature as one parent—I had perhaps aided with food, would it seem worthy of punishment to have preserved a soul about to perish, to have shown pardon toward human affairs, and, out of regard for the common lot of all, as if to an adored divinity, to have placed an offering to Fortune [and] a coin? If this is a crime, then let cruelty be praised; let nothing be considered more prudent than pirates and lanistae.

[16] ferantur sane profutura humano generi duo exempla: intra tam breve tempus propter misericordiam alter abdicatus, alter occisus est.

[16] Let there surely be put forward two examples to be of use to the human race: within so brief a time, on account of mercy, the one was disowned, the other was killed.

Quod crimen si fatendum sit, num animum mihi ipse finxi, aut mea potestate regitur affectus? an arbitrio formantis mores omnium naturae compositus cum crimine meo natus sum? nam sive caelestis providentia sive inrationabilis casus sive assignata siderum cursu nascentibus nobis necessitas multa varietate pectora nostra distinxit nec minus numerosas animorum quam corporum dedit formas.

If this crime is to be confessed, did I myself fashion my mind, or is my affect governed by my own power? Or, by the arbitrament of Nature forming the manners of all, was I composed and born together with my crime? For whether celestial providence or irrational chance, or the necessity assigned to us at our birth by the sidereal course, has with much variety distinguished our hearts and has given no less numerous forms of souls than of bodies.

sunt, quorum mentes etiam nocentium supplicia confundant, qui ad omnium sanguinem pallescant, ignotorum quoque miseriis inlacriment. sunt contra, qui ne suorum quidem misereantur. mihi mite pectus et mollis affectus ad omnem calamitatium conspectum tremit.

There are those whose minds are confounded even by the punishments of the guilty, who grow pale at the sight of anyone’s blood, and who also shed tears at the miseries of strangers. By contrast, there are those who do not pity even their own. As for me, a gentle heart and a soft affection trembles at every sight of calamities.

noli me aestimare mea fortuna, pater, non habeo gladiatoris animum. utinam mihi quidem causa permitteret sic gloriari: iuvenis conceptus splendidis parentibus cum solum tam speciosae fortunae crederem fructum posse prodesse et contra varios mortalium casus quasi portum benignitatis aperire, concupivi quandam humanitatis civicam gloriam: periturum hominem, sive ille naufragio eiectus, seu spoliatus incendio sive exutus latrocinio erat, naturae patriaeque restitui. paria tecum facio, res publica, quae propter me unum civem perdideras.

do not assess me by my fortune, father; I do not have a gladiator’s spirit. Would that indeed my case permitted me thus to glory: as a young man, begotten of splendid parents, since I believed that only the fruit of so splendid a fortune could profit, and, against the various chances of mortals, open as it were a harbor of benignity, I coveted a certain civic glory of humanity: a man destined to perish—whether cast ashore by shipwreck, or despoiled by conflagration, or stripped by brigandage—I restored to nature and to his fatherland. I make things even with you, Republic, you who on account of me alone had lost a single citizen.

haec me magis decet impensa quam vestis, argentum. ubi pecunia melius poni potest, quam ubi laus emitur, ubi faenus bonitatis extenditur?

this expenditure befits me more than clothing, than silver. where can money be better placed than where laud is purchased, where the interest of goodness is extended?

[17] magna conscientia est felicitatem meruisse, [ignotus sane sit et alienus, quid fuerit ante, non quaero, post hoc erit amicus] et hercule, quo quisque plus potest quoque latius patet ad incursus, hoc magis cogitare debet atque respicere, quantum in nos fortunae regnum sit, quam instabili sede humana consistant. non me aurata laquearia nec radiantes marmore columnae nec graves crustae fecerint immemorem fragilitatis. multa saepe et locupletibus accidunt, saepe in imum summa decidunt.

[17] It is a great satisfaction of conscience to have merited felicity, [let him indeed be unknown and alien; what he was before, I do not ask; after this he will be a friend] and, by Hercules, the more each person is able and the more widely he lies open to incursions, so much the more he ought to think and to look back on how great a reign Fortune has over us, how they stand upon an unstable human seat. Neither gilded paneled ceilings nor columns radiant with marble nor weighty incrustations will make me unmindful of fragility. Many things often befall even the wealthy; often the highest fall down into the lowest.

ego vidi pauperem auxilia diviti ferentem. sed sane superbius aestimet miserias longa felicitas et alienum casum facile despiciat securus sui; ego quotiens auxilia calamitatis petere aliquem video, non possum non moveri fortuna mea. succurrit mihi continuo tempus illud, quo ipse clementiam optabam.

I have seen a poor man bringing aid to a rich man. But surely long felicity judges miseries more arrogantly and, secure of itself, easily looks down on another’s fall; as for me, whenever I see someone seeking aid in calamity, I cannot but be moved to think of my own fortune. Straightway there comes to my mind that time when I myself was wishing for clemency.

ignosce, pater, si penitus animo meo hic insedit affectus; amare misericordiam miser coepi.

Forgive me, father, if this affection has settled deep in my mind; wretched, I have begun to love mercy.

'Sed inimicus,' inquit, 'meus est.' nam quis nos tanto opere laudaret, pater, si hoc amico praestaremus? haec est celebranda virtus, haec animi suspicienda moderatio, vincere iram et inter simultates quoque meminisse hominis. Ut Fabio Maximo immortalem attulit laudem ereptus ex hostium manibus Minucius, ut Tiberium Gracchum admirata civitas est Scipione in carcerem duci prohibito, te quoque similis animi magnitudo memoriae dabit.

'But he is my enemy,' he says. For who would so greatly laud us, father, if we were to do this for a friend? This is the virtue to be celebrated, this the moderation of spirit to be looked up to: to conquer anger and, even amid feuds, to remember the human being. As Minucius, rescued from the hands of the enemy, brought immortal laud to Fabius Maximus; as the citizenry admired Tiberius Gracchus when he forbade Scipio to be led into prison; so a like greatness of spirit will give you, too, to remembrance.

tuis enim opibus vivit inimicus; quicquid est istud, quod senex inops ex nostra domo accipit, si non irasceris, tu praestitisti, tibi hoc pulchrum atque magnificum est. nam ego, si quid in patrem servatoris mei confero, non sum laudandus.

for by your resources the enemy lives; whatever that is which the needy old man receives from our house, if you are not angered, you have provided it; to you this is fair and magnificent. For I, if I confer anything upon the father of my preserver, am not to be praised.

[18] Neque expectaveris hoc loco, pater, ut illa dicam: semper odiorum honestus occasus est, et, dum simultates nihil aliud habent quam nocendi cupiditatem, speciosa in melius animi mutatio est cum exempli honore, iunctaeque ex hostili paene concursu in affinitatem manus. unde tantum misero boni, ut inimicus sit? aspice solum, egentem, senem, omnibus praesidiis destitutum; nonne contumeliam fortunae tuae facis, si hunc odisti et adhuc putas tua interesse, ne vivat?

[18] Nor should you expect in this place, father, that I say those things: the end of hatreds is always honorable, and, while rivalries have nothing else than a desire to harm, a splendid change of spirit for the better, with the honor of an example, is when hands from an almost hostile concourse are joined into affinity. Whence so much good to the wretch, that he should be an enemy? Look at him, solitary, indigent, an old man, deprived of all protections; do you not do contumely to your Fortune, if you hate this man and still think it to be your interest that he not live?

nulla tibi contingere maior ultio potest, quam si iam talis est, ut illius etiam nos misereamur. magna mehercule iam de vetere aemulo poena; superest panem eripere mendico et gravissimae per se fortunae manui pondus imponere. age, si perisset, cadaver calcasses?

No greater revenge can befall you than this: that he is already such as for us even to pity him. Great, by Hercules, is already the penalty upon the old rival; what remains is to snatch bread from a beggar and to impose a weight upon the hand of Fortune, most heavy in herself. Come now, if he had perished, would you trample the cadaver?

ferae mehercules generosiores iacentes transeunt, et, <cum> reservati hostes restitutaeque urbes maiora causae exempla sint, quod scio, victis etiam gladiatores parcunt. post orbitatem, post egestatem quid amplius potest pati, nisi quod optat? ulteriorne tibi aliqua ultio quaerenda est, aut aliquid rerum natura peius capit?

Feral beasts, by Hercules, are more generous: they pass by the fallen; and, since spared enemies and restored cities are greater examples to the cause, as I know, even gladiators spare the vanquished. After orphanhood, after destitution, what more can he suffer, except what he desires? Is some further vengeance to be sought by you, or does the nature of things admit anything worse?

quis non te omnium mortalium inhumanissimum putet, si hoc adversus inimicum tuum saltem optasti! si mehercules inexpiabiles odiorum causae et compositis quoque fabulis ulteriores inimicitiae fuissent, ausim dicere, si propter illum liberos perdidisses, accipienda tamen erat a fortuna tali[s] satisfactio, certe ad vitandam insolentiae opinionem, quae fere immeritam quoque potentiam carpit, ne vagaretur per urbem invidiosus mendicus et calamitatis auctori crimin<os>us causas vulgo suggereret odiorum.

who would not think you the most inhuman of all mortals, if you at least have wished this against your enemy! even if, by Hercules, there had been inexpiable causes of hatreds and, with tales too composed, further enmities—indeed, I would dare to say, even if you had lost your children on account of that man—nevertheless satisfaction of such a sort was to be accepted from Fortune, certainly to avoid the opinion of insolence, which commonly carps at even unmerited power, lest an invidious beggar wander through the city and, against the author of his calamity, supply to the crowd criminatory causes of hatreds.

[19] nescio quo modo omnis pro laborante favor est, nec ulla[m] perpetuam gratiam servat nisi modesta victoria. nostra potissimum clementia sustineatur, ne illius alii misereantur.

[19] Somehow all favor is for the one laboring under hardship, and no victory preserves perpetual favor unless it is a modest victory. Let our clemency above all be sustained, lest others take pity on that man.

Facilis, ut animadvertere vos spero, iudices, defensionis meae cursus est. antequam incipiam habere causam nimium bonam, hic iam conscientia trepidat oratio, et velut inter binos deprehensa scopulos, cum aliud obiciatur, aliud defendendum sit, haeret in dubio; cum beneficiis meis computare non audeo. cognovistis expositionem causae, quanta quamque excedentia fidem adulescentis optimi merita narraverim.

Easy, as I hope you observe, judges, is the course of my defense. Before I begin to have a case too good, already here my speech trembles with conscience, and, as if caught between two rocks, when one thing is objected and another must be defended, it sticks in uncertainty; I do not dare to reckon up my benefactions. You have come to know the exposition of the cause, how great, and how exceeding belief, the merits of a most excellent youth I have narrated.

haec mihi omnia sine dubio ille praestitit, sed quid interest? debitor delicatus sum. quid in hac parte defensionis agam, iudices?

All these things without doubt he rendered to me, but what does it matter? I am a delicate debtor. What am I to do in this part of the defense, judges?

dicam: 'referre gratiam beneficiis volui'? [itane tandem aliqui mendicare amici patrem aequo animo visurus fuit?] at ille me redemit, cui nihil debui<t>. dicam moveri me supremis amici mei precibus? [egregia vero comparatio.] at ille mihi praestitit quod non rogavi. utro me vertam?

Shall I say: 'I wished to repay gratitude for benefits'? [So then, was someone at last going to look with an even mind upon a friend's father begging?] But he redeemed me, to whom I owed nothing<t>. Shall I say that I am moved by my friend's final prayers? [A truly excellent comparison, indeed.] But he bestowed on me what I did not ask. To which side shall I turn?

tamquam honestum defendam factum an tamquam necessarium? alterum absolvi facilius potest, alterum laudari. rectissimum, opinor, veritatis i[n]ter est.

Am I to defend the deed as honorable, or as necessary? The one can more easily be absolved; the other can be lauded. The most correct course, I think, is what is in the interest of truth.

[20] Audi, pater, alimenta ista, quae donata egenti putas, quanti illi constent. si accepto captivitatis meae nuntio nullis precibus adductus, nullis epistolis vocatus adolescens ad liberandum me vinculis piratarum profectus esset, quibus tamen meritis pensarem, cum id mihi praestitisset, quod ego tantum a patre speravi? intrare maria, praesertim tam recenti documento timenda, et latrones ultro quaerere et, cum praeter vicarias manus nihil esset, navigare voto captivitatis, quis posset alius quam qui paratus esset pro amico mori?

[20] Hear, father, how much those alimenta, which you think were donated to a needy man, cost him. If, upon receiving the news of my captivity, the youth, induced by no prayers, summoned by no letters, had set out to free me from the chains of pirates, with what deserts could I recompense him, since he had furnished me that which I had hoped only from a father? To enter the seas, especially fearsome by so recent a lesson, and to seek out the robbers unbidden, and, when there was nothing except vicarious hands, to sail with a vow of captivity—who could do this other than one who was prepared to die for a friend?

magnum hoc per se ac saeculo nostro vix credibile, iudices; illud vero omni praedicatione maius: ad redimendum me profectus est, cum mendicaturum patrem suum sciret. atquin sperare poterat futurum, ut sine periculo suo redimeretur nihilominus amicus, cum haberem divitem patrem, sed noluit ipsum itineris apparatum, et, ne qua periret redemptionis hora, praeceps cucurrit. pro fidem deum hominumque, quemadmodum ad redemptionem amici festinat, etiam cui[us] pater lentus est!

This is great in itself and in our age scarcely believable, judges; but this indeed is greater than all proclamation: he set out to redeem me, though he knew his father would have to beg. And yet he could have hoped it would come about that his friend would nonetheless be redeemed without danger to himself, since I had a wealthy father; but he would not even brook the very preparations for the journey, and, lest any hour of redemption be lost, he ran headlong. O the faith of gods and men, how he hastens to the redemption of his friend, even though his father is slow!

Terentium, quem inter ceteros captivos secundo Punico bello Scipio Africanus vinculis exsolverat, memoriae tradidere maiores insigni receptae libertatis pilleo <gratiam> testantem in triumpho ducis esse conspectum. et ille quidem maioris momenti accessio publicam senserat felicitatem, privatim tamen debere se putavit victoriae beneficium. quid me facere convenit, qui per maria latrociniis infesta solus petitus sum, qui lucem, libertatem, denique quicquid patri debeo, non ignarus, ut primo natalis horae tempore, sed videns sentiensque acceperim, nec solum donatus his bonis sed summis periculis liberatus sum?

Our elders have handed down to memory that Terentius, whom Scipio Africanus had loosed from chains among the other captives in the Second Punic War, was seen in the general’s triumph, attesting his <gratitude> with the conspicuous cap of recovered liberty. And he indeed, as an accession of greater moment, had shared in the public felicity, yet in private he judged himself to owe the beneficium to victory. What is it fitting for me to do, I who, over seas infested by piracies, was singled out alone; who received light, liberty, and finally whatever I owe to my father, not unaware as at the first hour of my birth, but having seen and felt it; and who not only was endowed with these goods but was also liberated from the utmost perils?

[21] nonne me ex amici fide natum et tenacioribus beneficiorum vinculis fatear esse constrictum? miserum me! amice fidelissime, ingratum me moriendo fecisti. et quantulum est, quod adhuc loquor de mea infelicitate, de piratis!

[21] should I not confess that from a friend’s faith I was, as it were, born, and bound by the more tenacious bonds of benefactions? wretched me! most faithful friend, by dying you have made me ungrateful. and how little is it, that I am still speaking of my own ill-fortune, of the pirates!

levis [est] ista fortuna, quae etiam nunc recepit moram. solent expectare latrones redemptorem. in ludo fui, qua poena nullam ulteriorem scelera noverunt, cuius ad comparationem ergastulum leve est.

That fortune is slight, which even now has admitted a delay. Pirates are wont to await a redeemer. I was in the ludus, a punishment than which crimes have known none further; in comparison with it, the ergastulum is light.

hoc si scisses, pater, affirmo, promitto: cuius pietatis es, nemo te antecessisset. illa, certum habeo, expectas, ut dicam: morabar inter sacrilegos, incendiarios et, quae gladiatoribus una laus est, homicidas, inclusus turpiore custodia et sordido cellarum situ, iamque in eam veneram fortunam, ut me victum recipere non posses, victorem nolles. aderat hora supplicii mei, qua nusquam morandum, iam praebendus erat ingulus et fundenda vita cum sanguine.

If you had known this, father, I affirm, I promise: with the piety that is yours, no one would have gone before you. This, I am sure, you are waiting for me to say: I was delaying among sacrilegists, incendiaries, and—what is the one praise of gladiators—homicides, shut in by a more shameful custody and the sordid condition of the cells; and now I had come into such a fortune that you could not receive me back conquered, and would not want me victorious. The hour of my punishment was at hand, in which there was to be no delay anywhere; already the throat was to be offered, and life to be poured out with the blood.

neque enim dubitare de eventu licet; exemplar fati mei vidi. si me ab his imminentibus malis pecunia redemisset, beneficium tamen potius dicerem magis aestimandum esse quam pretium, sed apud malignos interpretes posset videri vel spem secutus aliquam venturi temporis vel praesentis voluptatem. hoc admirabile et uni tantum pietati referendum est: dedit beneficium, quod numquam reciperet, et, cum amicum, quem redimebat, habiturus non esset, nihil aliud emit quam honestae mortis conscientiam.

nor indeed is it permitted to doubt about the event; I have seen the exemplar of my fate. If money had redeemed me from these imminent evils, I would nevertheless say that the benefaction was to be more esteemed than the price; but among malicious interpreters it could seem either that he followed some hope of a coming time or the pleasure of the present. This is admirable and to be referred only to piety: he gave a benefaction which he would never receive back, and, since he was not going to have the friend whom he was redeeming, he bought nothing other than the conscience of an honorable death.

transtulit ergo in se fortunam meam subiitque non solum fortiter sed etiam libenter id, quod mihi miserum putabat.

Therefore he transferred my fortune onto himself and underwent not only bravely but also willingly that which he thought was wretched for me.

[22] Res dictu incredibilis: gladiator dimissus, redemptor occisus est! recepit pectore adverso ferrum et quasi, quam emittebat animam, in meum pectus transfunderet, et hoc uno tristis occiditur, quod amplius amicum visurus non erat. eant nunc antiquarum conditores fabularum poetae et se ad exhortandam amicitiae fidem magna quaedam composuisse carminibus putent, si dixerint aliquos per maria terrasque asperiorem fortunam amicorum tantum secutos aut principem Graeciae virum in ultionem interfecti amici inauspicata bella gessisse.

[22] A thing incredible to say: the gladiator was dismissed, the redeemer was slain! He received the steel with his breast set against it and, as if the soul he was sending forth he were transfusing into my chest, and by this one thing he is made sad in dying, that he was not going to see his friend any longer. Let the poets, founders of ancient fables, go now and think that they have composed certain great things in songs to exhort the faith of friendship, if they will have said that some followed through seas and lands only the harsher fortune of their friends, or that the prince of Greece waged inauspicious wars in vengeance for a slain friend.

nam inter fratres quoque illa maxime admirabilis, tamen alterna mors est. una fingitur coniunx, quae iam perituri vitam mariti vicaria morte sua redemerit, adiciturque miraculo fabulae fecisse hoc eam, quod non praestitisset pater. en indubitabile saeculi decus et fictis maius: ut moreretur pro me amicus, suum reliquit patrem, meum vicit.

for even among brothers that most admirable thing is, nevertheless, an alternate death. a single wife is feigned, who redeemed the life of a husband now about to perish by a vicarious death of her own, and it is added to the miracle of the tale that she did this which a father would not have performed. behold the indubitable ornament of the age, and greater than fictions: so that a friend might die for me, he left his own father; he outdid mine.

et sane quid profuisset festinatio patris, etiamsi ad redimendum me prior forte venisset? hoc me pretio nemo alius redemisset. neque vero plurimum fuit praestitisse mortem; namque interim specioso titulo bene vita pensatur.

And indeed, what would my father’s haste have profited, even if by chance he had come first to redeem me? At this price no one else would have redeemed me. Nor, truly, was it the greatest thing to have proffered death; for, at any rate, life is well weighed by a splendid title.

illud honesto amico gravius, nomen gladiatoris accipere, subire dominum lanistam. minus te, amice, laudarem, si vicisses. an ille animus rediret in cellulam, ferret saginam, magistrum, personam denique sceleris?

That would be more grievous for an honorable friend: to accept the name of gladiator, to submit to a master—the lanista. I would praise you less, friend, if you had won. Would that spirit return into the cell, bear the fattening regimen, the master, and, finally, the very persona of crime?

mea depugnasti causa, tua peristi. haec tamen omnia ultima fortunae nomina, ut mihi detraheret, induit sibi. venit in harenam homo nec sceleratus nec infelix.

you fought it out for my cause; you perished by your own. yet all these ultimate names of Fortune, in order to detract from me, she assumed for herself. into the arena came a man neither criminal nor unlucky.

ecquando, iudices, hoc audistis? bonitate sua gladiator factus est!

When, judges, have you ever heard this? He was made a gladiator by his goodness!

[23] Utinam, iudices, haec, quae illi speciosa sunt, tam honesta essent et mihi. quotiens ad infelicissimum respexi senem, cuius orbitate vivo, cum confectum cladibus et tantum poenae suae residuum considero, verum fatendum est, pudet me pretii mei. video senem meliore sui parte praesepultum, omnis etiam spei superstitem, orbum, destitutum.

[23] If only, judges, these things, which to him are specious, were just as honorable for me also. As often as I have looked back to the most unlucky old man, by whose bereavement I live, when I consider him worn out by calamities and only the residue of his own punishment remaining, the truth must be confessed: I am ashamed of my price. I see the old man pre-buried with the better part of himself, a survivor even of all hope, bereft, destitute.

illud tamen solacium est, quod, nisi talem amicum habuissem, haec de te dicerentur. huic patri invidiosa quaedam, opinor, et, quae [bene] filii morte pensetur, criminosa liberalitas contigerit egenti. alioquin duo egentes, et circa omnium vel ignotorum domus stipem rogabimus pariter.

Yet this is a solace, that, had I not had such a friend, these things would be said about you. To this father in need there has fallen, I suppose, a certain invidious and, which may be [well] balanced by the son’s death, criminal liberality. Otherwise, the two of us in need will together beg alms around the houses of all, even of strangers.

si quis grandis natu parens est, miserebitur senis, si quis iuvenis filius, miserebitur adolescentis. fortasse proderit mendicaturo mihi, quod ipse aliquando egentem pauperem alui. accipe satisfactionem, in quacumque parte rerum naturae es, amice carissime.

If anyone is a parent great in years, he will pity the old man; if anyone is a young son, he will pity the adolescent. Perhaps it will profit me, about to beg, that I myself once sustained a needy pauper. Receive this satisfaction, in whatever part of the nature of things you are, dearest friend.

non excidere mihi tua mandata; fortuna defecit, opes auferuntur, quod unum mihi relictum est, en polliceor patri tuo vicarias manus. quid vis porro faciam? agrestia opera?

Your mandates do not fall from my mind; Fortune has failed, means are being borne away—what one thing is left to me, lo, I promise your father my vicarious hands. What do you wish moreover that I do? Rustic labors?

delicatior, quod a fortuna non didici, et cotidiani quaestus operis duobus egentibus non sufficit. miserum me! si exsolvere fidem voluero, fortasse mihi in ludum revertendum est.

I am rather delicate, since I have not learned from Fortune, and the quotidian profit of toil does not suffice for two indigent persons. Wretched me! If I should wish to discharge my pledge, perhaps I must return to the school.