Plautus: Curculio

I.i
Palinvrvs Quo ted hoc noctis dicam proficisci foras
Cum istoc ornatu cumque hac pompa, Phaedrome?
Phaedromvs Quo Venus Cupidoque imperat, suadet Amor:
si media nox est sive est prima vespera,
si status condictus cum hoste intercedit dies, 5
tamen est eundum quo imperant ingratiis.
Pal. At tandem, tandem++Phaed. Tandem es odiosus mihi.

1.1
Palinurus Where should I say you’re setting out this time of night to go outside
with that attire and with this pomp, Phaedromus?
Phaedromus Where Venus and Cupid command, Love persuades:
whether it is midnight or the first evening,
even if a declared truce-day with a foe intervenes, 5
yet one must go where they command, willy-nilly.
Pal. But at last, at last++Phaed. At last you are odious to me.

Pal. Istuc quidem nec bellum est nec memorabile:
tute tibi puer es, lautus luces cereum.
Phaed. Egon apicularum congestum opera non feram, 10
ex dulci oriundum melculo dulci meo?
Pal. Nam quo te dicam ego ire?

Pal. That indeed is neither pretty nor memorable:
you are your own boy; spruce and bathed, you shine wax‑pale.
Phaed. Shall I not bear the heap amassed by the little bees’ labor, 10
springing from sweet little honey, for my sweet?
Pal. So where am I to say you are going?

Phaed. Si tu me roges,
dicam ut scias. Pal. Si rogitem, quid respondeas?
Phaed. Hoc Aesculapi fanum est.

Phaed. If you ask me,
I will say so that you may know. Pal. If I should ask, what would you answer?
Phaed. This is the fane of Aesculapius.

Pal. Plus iam anno scio.
Phaed. Huic proxumum illud ostiumst oculissimum. 15

Pal. I’ve known that for more than a year now.
Phaed. The door next to this one has the sharpest eye. 15

salve, valuistin? Pal. Ostium occlusissimum,
caruitne febris te heri vel nudiustertius
et heri cenavistine? Phaed. Deridesne me?
Pal. Quid tu ergo, insane, rogitas valeatne ostium?

hail, have you been well? Pal. The door is most tightly closed,
were you free of fever yesterday or the day-before-yesterday,
and did you dine yesterday? Phaed. Do you deride me?
Pal. Why then, you insane man, do you ask whether the door is well?

Phaed. Bellissimum hercle vidi et taciturnissimum, 20
numquam ullum verbum muttit: cum aperitur tacet,
cum illa noctu clanculum ad me exit, tacet.
Pal. Numquid tu quod te aut genere indignum sit tuo
facis aut inceptas facinus facere, Phaedrome?
num tu pudicae cuipiam insidias locas 25
aut quam pudicam esse oportet?

Phaed. I saw it, by Hercules, most beautiful and most taciturn, 20
it never mutters any word: when it is opened, it is silent,
when she by night stealthily comes out to me, it is silent.
Pal. Are you doing, or beginning to do, Phaedromus, any deed
that is unworthy of you or of your lineage?
are you setting snares for some chaste woman 25
or one who ought to be chaste?

Phaed. Nemini,
nec me ille sirit Iuppiter. Pal. Ego item volo.
ita tuom conferto amare semper, si sapis,
ne id quod ames populus si sciat, tibi sit probro.

Phaed. To no one,
nor may Jupiter permit me that. Pal. I likewise wish so.
Thus keep your loving close-packed always, if you are wise,
lest, if the people know that which you love, it be an opprobrium to you.

semper curato ne sis intestabilis. 30

always take care not to be intestable. 30

Phaed. Quid istuc est verbi? Pal. Caute ut incedas via:        32
quod amas amato testibus praesentibus.        31
Phaed. Quin leno hic habitat. Pal. Nemo hinc prohibet nec vetat,        33

Phaed. What sort of saying is that? Pal. That you proceed cautiously along the street:        32
what you love, love with witnesses present.        31
Phaed. Why, the pimp lives here. Pal. No one here prohibits or forbids it,        33

quin quod palam est venale, si argentum est, emas.
nemo ire quemquam publica prohibet via;
dum ne per fundum saeptum facias semitam,
dum ted abstineas nupta, vidua, virgine,
iuventute et pueris liberis, ama quid lubet.
Phaed. Lenonis hae sunt aedes.

indeed, what is openly for sale, if there is silver, buy it.
no one prohibits anyone from going on the public way;
so long as you do not make a footpath through an enclosed field,
so long as you abstain from a married woman, a widow, a maiden,
from youth and freeborn boys, love what you please.
Phaed. These are the pimp’s quarters.

Pal. Male istis evenat.
Phaed. Qui? Pal. Quia scelestam servitutem serviunt. 40
Phaed. Obloquere.

Pal. May it turn out ill for those men.
Phaed. How so? Pal. Because they serve a wicked servitude. 40
Phaed. Keep up the obloquy.

Pal. Fiat maxume. Phaed. Etiam taces?
Pal. Nempe obloqui me iusseras.

Pal. By all means, let it be so. Phaed. Are you still silent?
Pal. Surely, you had ordered me to speak against.

Phaed. At nunc veto.
sed ita uti occepi dicere: ei ancillula est.
Pal. Nempe huic lenoni qui hic habitat?

Phaed. But now I veto it.
but just as I began to say: he has a little maidservant.
Pal. Surely to this pander who lives here?

Phaed. Recte tenes.
Pal. Minus formidabo, ne excidat. Phaed. Odiosus es. 45
eam volt meretricem facere.

Phaed. You’ve got it right.
Pal. I shall fear less, lest it slip out. Phaed. You are odious. 45
he wants to make her a prostitute.

ea me deperit,
ego autem cum illa facere nolo mutuom.
Pal. Quid ita? Phaed. Quia proprium facio: amo pariter simul.

she is perishing for me,
but I, however, do not wish to make a mutual loan with her.
Pal. Why so? Phaed. Because I make it my own: I love equally at the same time.

Pal. Malus clandestinus est amor, damnumst merum.
Phaed. Est hercle ita ut tu dicis. Pal. Iamne ea fert iugum? 50

Pal. Clandestine love is bad; it is pure loss.
Phaed. By Hercules, it is as you say. Pal. Is she already bearing the yoke? 50

Phaed. Tam a me pudica est quasi soror mea sit, nisi
si est osculando quippiam impudicior.
Pal. Semper tu scito, flamma fumo est proxima;
fumo comburi nil potest, flamma potest.
qui e nuce nuculeum esse volt, frangit nucem: 55
qui volt cubare, pandit saltum saviis.

Phaed. She is as chaste with me as if she were my sister, unless
perhaps she is somewhat more unchaste in kissing.
Pal. Always know this: flame is nearest to smoke;
by smoke nothing can be burned, by flame it can.
he who wants the kernel out of a nut breaks the nut: 55
he who wants to bed down opens the pass with kisses.

Phaed. At illa est pudica neque dum cubitat cum viris.
Pal. Credam, pudor si cuiquam lenoni siet.
Phaed. Immo ut illam censes?

Phaed. But she is chaste and does not yet lie with men.
Pal. I would believe it, if any pimp had modesty.
Phaed. Nay rather—how do you judge her?

ut quaeque illi occasiost,
subripere se ad me; ubi savium oppegit, fugit. 60
id eo fit, quia hic leno, aegrotus incubat
in Aesculapi fano, is me excruciat. Pal. Quid est?
Phaed. Alias me poscit pro illa triginta minas,
alias talentum magnum; neque quicquam queo
aequi bonique ab eo impetrare.

as whenever any occasion offers itself to her,
she sneaks away to me; when she has gotten a kiss, she flees. 60
that happens because this pimp, sick, is lying
in the temple of Aesculapius—he excruciates me. Pal. What is it?
Phaed. At one time he demands from me for her 30 minae,
at another a great talent; nor can I obtain
anything fair and reasonable from him.

Pal. Iniuriu's, 65

Pal. You're unfair, 65

qui quod lenoni nulli est id ab eo petas.
Phaed. Nunc hinc parasitum in Cariam misi meum
petitum argentum a meo sodali mutuom.
quod si non affert, quo me vortam nescio.

that you ask from him what no pimp has.
Phaed. Now from here I have sent my parasite into Caria,
to seek silver as a loan from my comrade.
but if he does not bring it, I do not know where to turn myself.

Pal. Si deos salutas, dextrovorsum censeo. 70
Phaed. Nunc ara Veneris haec est ante horunc fores;
me inferre Veneri vovi ieientaculum.
Pal. Quid? tu te pones Veneri ieientaculo?

Pal. If you are saluting the gods, I advise rightward. 70
Phaed. Now this is the altar of Venus before these fellows’ doors;
I have vowed to carry in a breakfast to Venus.
Pal. What? Will you set yourself as breakfast for Venus?

Phaed. Me, te atque hosce omnis. Pal. Tum tu Venerem vomere vis.
Phaed. Cedo, puere, sinum.

Phaed. Me, you, and all these. Pal. Then you wish to vomit Venus. Phaed. Hand it over, boy, the purse.

Pal. Quid facturu's? Phaed. Iam scies. 75
anus hic solet cubitare custos ianitrix,
nomen Leaenae est, multibiba atque merobiba.
Pal. Quasi tu lagoenam dicas, ubi vinum Chium
solet esse. Phaed. Quid opust verbis?

Pal. What are you going to do? Phaed. You will know presently. 75
an old woman here is wont to lie abed, the guardian porteress,
her name is Leaena, a heavy-drinker and a drinker of unmixed wine.
Pal. As if you were saying a flagon in which Chian wine
is wont to be. Phaed. What need is there of words?

vinosissima est;
eaque extemplo ubi vino has conspersi fores, 80

she is most vinous;
and as soon as with wine I have aspersed these doors, 80

de odore adesse me scit, aperit ilico.
Pal. Eine hic cum vino sinus fertur? Phaed. Nisi nevis.

from the odor she knows I am present, she opens instantly.
Pal. Is a bosom here being borne along with wine? Phaed. Unless you do not wish it.

Pal. Nolo hercle, nam istunc qui fert afflictum velim;
ego nobis afferri censui. Phaed. Quin tu taces?
si quid super illi fuerit, id nobis sat est. 85
Pal. Quisnam istic fluviust, quem non recipiat mare?

Pal. By Hercules, I don’t want it, for I’d like the one who carries that to be afflicted; I for my part judged it should be brought to us. Phaed. Won’t you be quiet? if anything is left over for him, that is enough for us. 85
Pal. What river is that here, which the sea does not receive?

Phaed. Sequere hac, Palinure, me ad fores, fi mi obsequens.
Pal. Ita faciam. Phaed. Agite bibite, festivae fores;
potate, fite mihi volentes propitiae.

Phaed. Follow this way, Palinurus, to the doors; be obedient to me.
Pal. I will do so. Phaed. Come on, drink, festive doors;
drink, be to me willingly propitious.

Pal. Voltisne olivas [aut] pulpamentum [aut] capparim? 90
Phaed. Exsuscitate vostram huc custodem mihi.
Pal. Profundis vinum: quae te res agitant? Phaed. Sine.

Pal. Do you want olives [or] relish [or] capers? 90
Phaed. Rouse your custodian here for me.
Pal. You are pouring out the wine: what is agitating you? Phaed. Leave it.

viden ut aperiuntur aedes festivissumae?
num muttit cardo? est lepidus.

Do you see how the very festive house is being opened?
The hinge doesn’t mutter, does it? It is charming.

Pal. Quin das savium?
Phaed. Tace, occultemus lumen et vocem. Pal. Licet. 95

Pal. Why not give a kiss?
Phaed. Hush, let us conceal the light and the voice. Pal. All right. 95

I.ii

1.2

Leaena Flos veteris vini meis naribus obiectust,
eius amor cupidam me huc prolicit per tenebras.
ubi ubi est, prope me est. euax, habeo.

Leaena The flower (bouquet) of old wine has been set before my nostrils,
its amor lures me, desirous, hither through the tenebrous darkness.
wherever it is, it is near me. Evoe, I have it.

salve, anime mi, Liberi lepos.
ut veteris vetus tui cupida sum. 100
nam omnium unguentum odor prae tuo nautea est,
tu mihi stacta, tu cinnamum, tu rosa,
tu crocinum et casia es, tu telinum,
nam ubi tu profusu's, ibi ego me pervelim sepultam.
sed quom adhuc naso odos obsecutust meo, 105
da vicissim meo gutturi gaudium.

hail, my soul, delight of Liber.
how, old as I am, I am desirous of your old vintage. 100
for the odor of all unguents is nausea beside yours;
you are to me stacta, you cinnamon, you rose,
you are saffron-hued and cassia, you telinum,
for where you have been poured forth, there I would very gladly wish myself buried.
but since thus far the odour has indulged my nose, 105
give in return joy to my gullet.

nil ago tecum: ubi est ipsus? ipsum expeto
tangere, invergere in me liquores tuos,
sine, ductim. sed hac abiit, hac persequar.

I have nothing to do with you: where is he himself? him I desire
to touch, to pour your liquors into me,
allow it, in a drawn-out pour. But this way he has gone; this way I will pursue.

Phaed. Sitit haec anus. Pal. Quantillum sitit? Phaed. Modica est, 110

Phaed. This old woman is thirsty. Pal. How much does she thirst? Phaed. It is moderate, 110

capit quadrantal.
Pal. Pol ut praedicas, vindemia [haec] huic anui non sat est soli.
canem esse hanc quidem magis par fuit: sagax nasum habet.

she can hold a quadrantal.
Pal. By Pollux, as you say, the vintage [this] is not enough for this old woman alone.
indeed, it would have been more fitting that this one be a dog: she has a sagacious nose.

Leaena Amabo,
cuia vox sonat procul? 112a
Phaed. Censeo hanc appellandam anum.
adibo. redi et respice ad me, Leaena.

Leaena Please,
whose voice is sounding from afar? 112a
Phaed. I judge that this old woman should be addressed.
I will approach. Turn back and look at me, Leaena.

Leaena Imperator quis est? 115
Phaed. Vinipollens lepidus Liber,
tibi qui screanti, siccae, semisomnae
adfert potionem et sitim sedatum it.
Leaena Quam longe a me abest? Phaed. Lumen hoc vide.
Leaena Grandiorem gradum ergo fac ad me, obsecro. 120
Ph. Salve.

Leaena Who is the commander? 115
Phaed. The wine-powerful, winsome Liber,
who to you—hoarse, dry, half-asleep—
brings a potion and goes with your thirst settled.
Leaena How far is he from me? Phaed. See this light.
Leaena Therefore make a larger step to me, I beg. 120
Ph. Hail.

Le. Egon salva sim, quae siti sicca sum? Ph. At iam bibes.
Leaena Diu fit.

Le. Am I safe, I who am parched with thirst? Ph. But now you will drink.
Leaena It’s taking a long time.

Phaed. Em tibi anus lepida. Leaena Salve, oculissime homo.
Pal. Age, effunde hoc cito in barathrum, propere
prolue cloacam.

Phaed. Here you are, a charming old woman. Leaena Greetings, most sharp‑eyed man.
Pal. Come, pour this quickly into the barathrum; swiftly
flush the cloaca.

Phaed. Tace. Nolo huic male dici. Pal. Faciam igitur male
potius.

Phaed. Be silent. I do not wish ill to be said of this one. Pal. I will therefore do ill
rather.

Le. Venus, de paulo paululum hoc tibi dabo haud lubenter. 125

Le. By Venus, from a little, a very little of this I will give you, not willingly. 125

nam tibi amantes propitiantes vinum potantes danunt
omnes, mihi haud saepe evenunt tales hereditates.
Pal. Hoc vide ut ingurgitat impura in se merum avariter, faucibus plenis.
Phaed. Perii hercle, huic quid primum dicam nescio.

for to you the lovers, propitiating, drinking wine, all donate;
to me such inheritances do not often befall.
Pal. Look at this, how the impure one ingurgitates neat wine into herself greedily, with full throat.
Phaed. I am ruined, by Hercules; I do not know what first to say to her.

Pal. Em istuc, quod
mihi dixti.
Phaed. Quid id est? Pal. Periisse ut te dicas.

Pal. There—just that, which
you said to me.
Phaed. What is that? Pal. That you say that you have perished.

Phaed. Male tibi di 130
faciant. Pal. Dic isti.
Le. Ah. Pal. Quid est?

Phaed. May the gods 130
treat you ill. Pal. Say that to him.
Le. Ah. Pal. What is it?

ecquid lubet? Le. Lubet. Pal. Etiam mihi
quoque stimulo fodere lubet te.
Phaed. Tace, ++Pal. Noli, taceo.

Does it please you at all? Le. It pleases me. Pal. I too also feel like prodding you with a goad.
Phaed. Be quiet, ++Pal. Don’t; I am quiet.

ecce autem bibit arcus, pluet credo
hercle hodie.
Phaed. Iamne ego huic dico? Pal. Quid dices?

look, moreover, the rainbow drinks; I believe
by Hercules, today it will rain.
Phaed. Am I now to speak to him? Pal. What will you say?

Phaed. Me periisse. Pal.
Age dice. Phaed. Anus, audi.

Phaed. That I have perished. Pal.
Come, say it. Phaed. Old woman, listen.

hoc volo scire te: perditus sum miser.
Leaena At pol ego oppido servata. 135
sed quid est? quid lubet perditum dicere
te esse?

this I want you to know: I am ruined, miserable.
Leaena But, by Pollux, I am altogether saved. 135
but what is it? what do you choose to say—that you are ruined?
to be?

Phaed. Quia id quod amo careo.
Leaena Phaedrome mi, ne plora amabo.
tu me curato ne sitiam, ego tibi quod amas iam huc adducam.++
Phaed. Tibine ego, si fidem servas mecum, vineam pro aurea statua 140

Phaed. Because I am without that which I love.
Leaena My Phaedromus, don’t weep, please.
do you see to it that I don’t thirst, and I will bring here to you what you love right away.++
Phaed. To you then, if you keep faith with me, a vineyard in exchange for a golden statue 140

statuam,
quae tuo gutturi sit monumentum. 140a
qui me in terra aeque fortunatus erit, si illa ad me bitet,
Palinure? Pal. Edepol qui amat, si eget, misera adficitur, , aerumna.
Phaed. Non ita res est, nam confido parasitum hodie adventurum
cum argento ad me. Pal. Magnum inceptas, si id expectas quod nusquamst.

a statue,
which may be a monument to your gullet. 140a
who on earth will be as fortunate as I, if she comes to me,
Palinurus? Pal. By Pollux, he who loves, if he is in need, is miserably afflicted, , with hardship.
Phaed. The case is not so, for I trust the parasite will come to me today
with silver. Pal. You are undertaking something grand, if you expect that which is nowhere.

Phaed. Quid si adeam ad fores atque occentem? Pal. Si lubet, neque         145
        veto neque iubeo,
quando ego te video immutatis moribus esse, ere, atque ingenio.
Phaed. Pessuli, heus pessuli, vos saluto lubens,
vos amo, vos volo, vos peto atque obsecro,
gerite amanti mihi morem, amoenissumi,
fite causa mea ludii barbari,        150
sussilite, obsecro, et mittite istanc foras,
quae mihi misero amanti ebibit sanguinem.

Phaed. What if I go up to the doors and chant? Pal. If it pleases you, I neither        145
        forbid nor command,
since I see you, master, to be with changed mores and genius. Phaed. Little bolts, hey, little bolts, I gladly greet you,
I love you, I want you, I seek and I beseech you,
do the will of me who loves, most delightful ones,
be on my side, barbarian performers,        150
jump up, I beg, and send that woman out,
who for me, a wretched lover, drinks my blood dry.

hoc vide ut dormiunt pessuli pessumi
nec mea gratia commovent se ocius.
re spicio, nihili meam vos gratiam facere. 155

see this, how the most wicked little bolts sleep
nor for my favor do they move themselves more quickly.
I look back, you reckon my favor at nothing. 155

st tace, tace. Pal. Taceo hercle equidem. Phaed. Sentio sonitum.

Hush, be quiet, be quiet. Pal. By Hercules, indeed I am keeping quiet. Phaed. I hear a sound.

tandem edepol mihi morigeri pessuli fiunt.

at last, by Pollux, the little bolts become compliant to me.

I.iii

1.3

Leaena Placide egredere et sonitum prohibe forium et crepitum cardinum,
ne quod hic agimus erus percipiat fieri, mea Planesium.
mane, suffundam aquolam. Pal. Viden ut anus tremula medicinam facit? 160
eapse merum condidicit bibere, foribus dat aquam quam bibant.

Leaena Go forth quietly and prohibit the sound of the doors and the creaking of the hinges,
lest the master perceive that what we are doing here is being done, my Planesium.
wait, I will splash a little water on. Pal. Do you see how the trembling old woman makes a remedy? 160
she herself has thoroughly learned to drink pure wine; to the doors she gives the water for them to drink.

Planesivm Vbi tu es, qui me convadatu's Veneriis vadimoniis?
sisto ego tibi me et mihi contra itidem ut sistas suadeo.
Phaed. Assum; nam si absim, haud recusem quin mihi male sit, mel meum.

Planesium Where are you, you who have bound me by Venereal recognizances?
I enter my appearance to you, and in return likewise I advise that you present yourself.
Phaed. I am present; for if I were absent, I would not refuse that it go ill with me, my honey.

Plan. Anime mi, procul amantem abesse haud consentaneumst. 165
Phaed. Palinure, Palinure. Pal. Eloquere, quid est quod Palinurum voces?
Phaed. Est lepida.

Plan. My soul, for a lover to be far away is not consistent. 165
Phaed. Palinurus, Palinurus. Pal. Speak out, what is it that you call Palinurus for?
Phaed. She is charming.

Pal. Nimis lepida. Phaed. Sum deus. Pal. Immo homo
haud magni preti.

Pal. Too charming. Phaed. I am a god. Pal. Nay, a man
of not great price.

Phaed. Quid vidisti aut quid videbis magis dis aequiparabile?
Pal. Male valere te, quod mi aegrest. Phaed. Male mi morigeru's, tace.

Phaed. What have you seen, or what will you see, more comparable to the gods?
Pal. That you are in poor health, which is a grief to me. Phaed. You are ill-compliant to me; be silent.

Pal. Ipsus se excruciat qui homo quod amat videt nec potitur dum licet. 170
Phaed. Recte obiurgat. sane haud quicquamst, magis quod cupiam iam diu.

Pal. He himself excruciates himself, the man who sees what he loves and does not possess it while it is permitted. 170
Phaed. He reproves rightly. Certainly there is nothing which I have long desired more.

Plan. Tene me, amplectere ergo. Phaed. Hoc etiam est quam ob rem cupiam
vivere.
quia te prohibet erus, clam [ero] potior.

Plan. Hold me, embrace me then. Phaed. This too is why I desire
to live.
since your master prohibits you, I shall secretly be the one to have you.

Pl. Prohibet? nec prohibere quit,
nec prohibebit nisi mors meum animum aps te abalienaverit.
Pal. Enim vero nequeo durare quin ego erum accusem meum: 175

Pl. He prohibits? nor can he prohibit,
nor will he prohibit unless death has alienated my mind from you.
Pal. Indeed, truly, I cannot endure without my accusing my master: 175

nam bonum est pauxillum amare sane, insane non bonum est;
verum totum insanum amare, hoc est quod meus erus facit.
Phaed. Sibi sua habeant regna reges, sibi divitias divites,
sibi honores, sibi virtutes, sibi pugnas, sibi proelia:
dum mi abstineant invidere, sibi quisque habeant quod suom est. 180
Pal. Quid tu? Venerin pervigilare te vovisti, Phaedrome?
nam hoc quidem edepol haud multo post luce lucebit.

for it is good to love a little, sanely; insanely is not good;
but to love wholly insanely—this is what my master does.
Phaed. Let kings have their realms for themselves, the rich their riches for themselves,
honors for themselves, virtues for themselves, fights for themselves, battles for themselves:
so long as they refrain from envying me, let each have for himself what is his own. 180
Pal. And you? Have you vowed to keep all-night vigil for Venus, Phaedromus?
for by Pollux, this indeed will be shining with daylight before very long.

Phaed. Tace.
Pal. Quid, taceam? quin tu is dormitum?

Phaed. Be silent.
Pal. What, should I be silent? Why don’t you go to sleep?

Phaed. Dormio, ne occlamites.
Pal. Tu quidem vigilas. Phaed. At meo more dormio: hic somnust mihi.

Phaed. I’m sleeping; do not clamor.
Pal. You indeed are awake. Phaed. But I sleep in my own manner: this is sleep for me.

Pal. Heus tu, mulier, male mereri de inmerente inscitia est. 185
Plan. Irascere, si te edentem hic a cibo abigat. Pal. Ilicet,
pariter hos perire amando video, uterque insaniunt.
viden ut misere moliuntur?

Pal. Hey you, woman, to merit ill of one unmeriting is ignorance. 185
Plan. Be angry, if this fellow here drives you from the food while you are eating. Pal. So be it,
alike I see these two perishing by loving; both are raving.
do you see how miserably they are plotting?

nequeunt complecti satis.
etiam dispertimini? Plan. Nullum homini est perpetuom bonum:
iam huic voluptati hoc adiunctum est odium.

they cannot embrace enough.
will you even divide yourselves? Plan. No good is perpetual for a human being:
already to this pleasure this hatred has been adjoined.

Pal. Quid ais, propudium? 190

Pal. What say you, you abomination? 190

tun etiam cum noctuinis oculis odium me vocas?
ebriola, persollae nugae. Phaed. Tun meam Venerem vituperas?

Do you then, even with your nocturnal eyes, call me “odium”?
little drunkard, persolla trifles. Phaed. Do you then vituperate my Venus?

~ quod quidem mihi polluctus virgis servos sermonem serat?
at ne tu hercle cum cruciatu magno dixisti id tuo.
em tibi male dictis pro istis, dictis moderari ut queas. 195
Pal. Tuam fidem, Venus noctuvigila.

~ that indeed a slave, vowed to the rods for me, should weave a discourse?
but by Hercules, you have said that to your own great torment.
there you go, for those evil-speeches of yours, so that you may be able to moderate your words. 195
Pal. Your faith! Venus, night-vigil.

Phaed. Pergin etiam, verbero?
Plan. Noli, amabo, verberare lapidem, ne perdas manum.
Pal. Flagitium probrumque magnum, Phaedrome, expergefacis:
bene monstrantem pugnis caedis, hanc amas, nugas meras.

Phaed. Do you still persist, you whipping-post?
Plan. Don’t, please, beat a stone, lest you ruin your hand.
Pal. A great scandal and disgrace, Phaedromus, you are rousing:
you strike with your fists the one who points you rightly; this one you love—mere trifles.

hocine fieri, ut inmodestis hic te moderes moribus? 200
Phaed. Auro contra cedo modestum amatorem: a me aurum accipe.
Pal. Cedo mihi contra aurichalco cui ego sano serviam.
Plan. Bene vale, ocule mi, nam sonitum et crepitum claustrorum audio,
aeditumum aperire fanum * quo usque, quaeso, ad hunc modum
inter nos amore utemur semper surrepticio? 205

Is it to come to this, that you here adjust yourself to immodest manners? 200
Phaed. In return for gold I hand over a modest lover: take gold from me.
Pal. Hand me instead orichalcum, which I, in my senses, would serve.
Plan. Fare well, my eye, for I hear the sound and rattle of the bolts,
the temple-warden opening the shrine * how long, pray, in this way
shall we between us always make use of a surreptitious love? 205

Phaed. Minime, nam parasitum misi nudiusquartus Cariam
petere argentum, is hodie hic aderit. Plan. Nimium consultas diu.
Phaed. Ita me Venus amet, ut ego te hoc triduom numquam sinam
in domo esse istac, quin ego te liberalem liberem.

Phaed. By no means, for I sent the parasite four days ago to Caria to seek silver; he will be here today. Plan. You deliberate far too long. Phaed. So may Venus love me, as I will never allow you, during these three days, to be in that house of yours without my freeing you as a freewoman.

Plan. Facito ut memineris. tene etiam, prius quam hinc abeo, savium. 210
Phaed. Siquidem hercle mihi regnum detur, numquam id potius persequar.
quando ego te videbo?

Plan. See that you remember. Take too, before I depart hence, a kiss. 210
Phaed. Indeed—by Hercules—if a kingdom were granted to me, I would never pursue that rather than this. When shall I see you?

Plan. Em istoc verbo vindictam para:
si amas, eme, ne rogites, facito ut pretio pervincas tuo.
bene vale. Phaed. Iamne ego relinquor?

Plan. There—prepare your vengeance with that word:
if you love, buy; do not beg; see to it that you vanquish with your own price.
good, farewell. Phaed. Am I already being left?

pulcre, Palinure, occidi.
Pal. Ego quidem, qui et vapulando et somno pereo. Phaed. Sequere me.++ 215

Splendidly, Palinurus, I’m done for.
Pal. I, for my part, am perishing both from beating and from sleep. Phaed. Follow me.++ 215

ACTVS II

ACT 2

II.i
Cappadox Migrare certumst iam nunc e fano foras,
quando Aesculapi ita sentio sententiam,
ut qui me nihili faciat nec salvom velit.
valetudo decrescit, adcrescit labor;
nam iam quasi zona liene cinctus ambulo, 220
geminos in ventre habere videor filios.
nil metuo nisi ne medius disrumpar miser.

II.i
Cappadox It’s settled to migrate now, out of the fane;
since I sense Aesculapius’s sentence thus,
as one who values me at nothing and does not want me sound.
my health decreases, my labor increases;
for now I amble as if girt with a zone by the spleen, 220
I seem to have twin sons in my belly.
I fear nothing except lest I rupture in the middle, poor wretch.

Palinvrvs Si recte facias, Phaedrome, auscultes mihi
atque istam exturbes ex animo aegritudinem.
paves, parasitus quia non rediit Caria: 225
adferre argentum credo; nam si non ferat,
tormento non retineri potuit ferreo,
quin reciperet se huc esum ad praesepem suam.
Ca. Quis hic est qui loquitur?

Palinvrvs If you would act rightly, Phaedromus, you would listen to me
and drive out that sickness-of-spirit from your mind.
you’re afraid because the parasite Caria has not returned: 225
I believe he is bringing silver; for if he were not bringing it,
he could not have been held back by an iron torment-engine,
but would have betaken himself back here to feed at his own manger.
Ca. Who is this who is speaking?

Pa. Quoiam vocem ego audio?
Capp. Estne hic Palinurus Phaedromi? Pal. Quis hic est homo 230

Pa. Whose voice do I hear?
Capp. Is Phaedromus’s Palinurus here? Pal. Who is this man here 230

cum collativo ventre atque oculis herbeis?
de forma novi, de colore non queo
novisse. iam iam novi: leno est Cappadox.

with a club-contribution belly and herb‑green eyes?
by the form I know him, by the color I cannot
have known. Now, now I know: he is the pimp Cappadox.

congrediar. Capp. Salve, Palinure. Pal. O scelerum caput,
salveto.

I will meet him. Capp. Hail, Palinurus. Pal. O head of crimes,
hail.

quid agis? Capp. Vivo. Pal. Nempe ut dignus es. 235
sed quid tibi est?

what are you doing? Capp. I live. Pal. Surely, as you are worthy. 235
but what is it with you?

Capp. Lien enecat, renes dolent,
pulmones distrahuntur, cruciatur iecur,
radices cordis pereunt, hirae omnes dolent.
Pal. Tum te igitur morbus agitat hepatiarius.
Capp. Facile est miserum inridere.

Capp. The lien kills me, the reins hurt,
the lungs are torn apart, the liver is tormented,
the roots of the heart perish, all the entrails ache.
Pal. Then, therefore, a hepatic disease agitates you.
Capp. It is easy to deride a wretch.

Pal. Quin tu aliquot dies 240
perdura, dum intestina exputescunt tibi,
nunc dum salsura sat bonast: si id feceris,
venire poteris intestinis vilius.
Capp. Lien dierectust. Pal. Ambula, id lieni optumumst.

Pal. Why don’t you hold out for several days, 240
until your intestines get well pickled for you,
now while the brining is quite good: if you do that,
you’ll be able to be sold, intestines and all, cheaper.
Capp. My spleen is rigid. Pal. Walk about; that’s best for the spleen.

Capp. Aufer istaec, quaeso, atque hoc responde quod rogo. 245

Capp. Remove those things, I beg, and respond to this which I ask. 245

potin coniecturam facere, si narrem tibi
hac nocte quod ego somniavi dormiens?
Pal. Vah, solus hic homost qui sciat divinitus.
quin coniectores a me consilium petunt:
quod eis respondi, ea omnes stant sententia. 250

Are you able to make a conjecture, if I tell you
what I dreamed while sleeping this night?
Pal. Bah, this man alone is one who knows divinely.
why, even the conjecturers ask counsel from me:
what I have answered them—on that opinion they all stand. 250

II.ii

2.2

Cocvs Palinure, quid stas? quin depromuntur mihi
quae opus sunt, parasito ut sit paratum prandium,
quom veniat? Pal. Mane sis, dum huic conicio somnium.

Cook Palinurus, why do you stand? Why aren’t the necessaries being brought out for me,
so that a luncheon be prepared for the parasite,
when he comes? Pal. Wait, please, while I conjecture this man’s dream.

Coc. Tute ipse, si quid somniasti, ad me refers.
Pal. Fateor. Coc. Abi, deprome.

Coc. You yourself, if you have dreamt anything, refer it to me.
Pal. I confess. Coc. Go, bring it out.

Pal. Age tu interea huic somnium 255
narra, meliorem quam ego sum suppono tibi.
nam quod scio omne ex hoc scio. Cap. Operam ut det.

Pal. Come now, meanwhile to this man the dream 255
tell; I supply you with one better than I am.
for whatever I know, I know from this man. Cap. See that he give attention.

Pal. Dabit.++
Capp. Facit hic quod pauci, ut sit magistro obsequens.
da mi igitur operam. Coc. Tam etsi non novi, dabo.

Pal. He will give.++
Capp. He does what few do, to be obedient to a teacher.
give me, then, your attention. Coc. Even though I do not know, I will give.

Capp. Hac nocte in somnis visus sum viderier 260
procul sedere longe a me Aesculapium,
neque eum ad me adire neque me magni pendere
visumst. Coc. Item alios deos facturos scilicet:
sane illi inter se congruont concorditer.
nihil est mirandum, melius si nil fit tibi, 265

Capp. This night in a dream I seemed to seem to see 260
Aesculapius sitting far off, far from me,
and he seemed neither to come to me nor to set great weight on me.
Coc. Likewise, the other gods will do the same, evidently:
indeed they are congruent among themselves, concordantly.
nothing is to be wondered at, if nothing better is done for you, 265

namque incubare satius te fuerat Iovi,
qui tibi auxilio in iure iurando fuit.
Capp. Siquidem incubare velint qui periuraverint,
locus non praeberi potis est in Capitolio.
Coc. Hoc animum advorte: pacem ab Aesculapio 270
petas, ne forte tibi evenat magnum malum,
quod in quiete tibi portentumst.

for it would have been better for you to incubate to Jove,
who was an aid to you in the oath you swore.
Capp. If indeed those who have perjured themselves should wish to incubate,
a place cannot be afforded in the Capitol.
Coc. Turn your mind to this: seek peace from Aesculapius 270
lest by chance a great evil befall you,
which has been a portent to you in your sleep.

Capp. Bene facis.
ibo atque orabo.++Coc. Quae res male vortat tibi.++
Palinvrvs Pro di immortales, quem conspicio? quis illic est?

Capp. You do well.
I will go and pray.++Coc. May that matter turn out ill for you.++
Palinvrvs O immortal gods, whom do I behold? who is that there?

estne hic parasitus qui missust in Cariam? 275
heus Phaedrome, exi, exi, exi, inquam, ocius.
Phaedromvs Quid istic clamorem tollis? Pal. Parasitum tuom
video currentem ellum usque in platea ultima.

Is this the parasite who was sent into Caria? 275
hey, Phaedromus, come out, come out, come out, I say, more quickly.
Phaedromvs Why are you raising a clamor there? Pal. I see your parasite running—there he is—clear to the farthest street.

hinc auscultemus quid agat. Phaed. Sane censeo.

From here let us listen to what he is doing. Phaed. Indeed, I think so.

II.iii

2.3

Cvrcvlio Date viam mihi, noti [atque] ignoti, dum ego hic officium meum 280
facio: fugite omnes, abite et de via decedite,
ne quem in cursu capite aut cubito aut pectore offendam aut genu.
ita nunc subito, propere et celere obiectumst mihi negotium,
nec quisquamst tam opulentus, qui mi obsistat in via,
nec strategus nec tyrannus quisquam, nec agoranomus,        285
nec demarchus nec comarchus, nec cum tanta gloria,
quin cadat, quin capite sistat in via de semita.
tum isti Graeci palliati, capite operto qui ambulant,
qui incedunt suffarcinati cum libris, cum sportulis,
constant, conferunt sermones inter se drapetae,        290
obstant, obsistunt, incedunt cum suis sententiis,
quos semper videas bibentes esse in thermipolio,
ubi quid subripuere: operto capitulo calidum bibunt,
tristes atque ebrioli incedunt: eos ego si offendero,
ex unoquoque eorum exciam crepitum polentarium.        295

Curculio Give way to me, known [and] unknown, while I here do my duty 280
I do: flee, all of you, be off and step off the road,
lest in my run I strike anyone with head or elbow or chest or knee.
So now suddenly, swiftly and speedily, business has been thrown in my path,
nor is there anyone so opulent who can stand against me in the road,
no strategus nor any tyrant, nor agoranomus,        285
nor demarch nor comarch, nor with such great glory,
but that he fall, that he stand on his head in the road off the footpath.
Then those Greek pallium-cloaked fellows, who walk with head covered,
who strut, stuffed up with books, with sportulae,
they halt, they confer speeches among themselves, drapetae,        290
they obstruct, they oppose, they march along with their sententiae,
whom you may always see drinking in the thermopolium,
whenever they’ve filched something: with hood covered they drink the hot stuff,
grim and a bit tipsy they stride: if I collide with them,
from each one of them I’ll elicit a polenta-like crepitation.        295

tum isti qui ludunt datatim servi scurrarum in via,
et datores et factores omnis subdam sub solum.
proin se domi contineant * , vitent infortunio.
Phaed. Recte hic monstrat, si imperare possit.

then those slaves of buffoons who play catch by tossing in the street,
both the tossers and the catchers I will thrust all beneath the ground.
therefore let them keep themselves at home * , let them avoid misfortune.
Phaed. He shows rightly, if he could give orders.

nam ita nunc mos viget,
ita nunc servitiumst: profecto modus haberi non potest. 300
Cvr. Ecquis est qui mihi commonstret Phaedromum genium meum?
ita res subita est, celeriter mihi [hoc] homine convento est opus.
Pal. Te ille quaerit.

for thus now custom thrives,
thus now is servitude: surely a measure cannot be had. 300
Cvr. Is there anyone who would point out to me Phaedromus, my genius?
so sudden is the business, I have need quickly to meet with [this] man.
Pal. He seeks you.

Phaed. Quid si adeamus? heus, Curculio, te volo.
Cvrc. Quis vocat?

Phaed. What if we approach? hey, Curculio, I want you.
Cvrc. Who calls?

quis nominat me? Phaed. Qui te conventum cupit.
C. Haud magis cupis quam ego te cupio. Ph. O mea opportunitas, 305
Curculio exoptate, salve.

who names me? Phaed. He who desires to meet you.
C. You do not desire any more than I desire you. Ph. O my opportunity, 305
Curculio, long-desired, hail.

Cvrc. Salve. Phaed. Salvom gaudeo
te advenire. cedo tuam mi dexteram.

Cvrc. Greetings. Phaed. I rejoice
that you have arrived safe. Give me your right hand.

ubi sunt spes meae?
eloquere, obsecro hercle. Cvrc. Eloquere, te obsecro, ubi sunt meae?

where are my hopes?
speak out, I beseech, by Hercules. Cvrc. speak out, I beseech you, where are mine?

Phaed. Quid tibist? Cvrc. Tenebrae oboriuntur, genua inedia succidunt.
Phaed. Lassitudine hercle credo.

Phaed. What’s the matter with you? Cvrc. Darkness is arising; my knees are giving way from inanition.
Phaed. From lassitude, by Hercules, I believe.

Cvrc. Retine, retine me, obsecro. 310

Cvrc. Hold me back, hold me back, I beg. 310

Phaed. Viden ut expalluit? datin isti sellam, ubi assidat, cito
et aqualem cum aqua? properatin ocius?

Phaed. Do you see how he has turned pale? Are you giving that man a chair, where he may sit down, quickly,
and a water-jug with water? Is he hurrying up, quicker?

Cvrc. Animo male est.
Pal. Vin aquam? Cvrc. Si frustulenta est, da, obsecro hercle, obsorbeam.

Cvrc. My spirit is ill.
Pal. Do you want water? Cvrc. If it is in morsels, give it, I beseech you, by Hercules, I’ll gulp it down.

Pal. Vae capiti tuo. Cvrc. Obsecro hercle, facite ventum ut gaudeam.
Pal. Maxume.

Pal. Woe to your head. Cvrc. I beseech, by Hercules, make a breeze so that I may rejoice.
Pal. By all means.

Cvrc. Quid facitis, quaeso? Pal. Ventum. Cvrc. Nolo 315
equidem mihi
fieri ventulum.

Cvrc. What are you doing, pray? Pal. Wind. Cvrc. I do not want 315
indeed for me
a little wind to be made.

Phaed. Quid igitur vis? Cvrc. Esse, ut ventum gaudeam.
Pal. Iuppiter te dique perdant.

Phaed. What do you want, then? Cvrc. That there be wind, so that I may rejoice.
Pal. May Jupiter and the gods destroy you.

Cvrc. Perii, prospicio parum,
gramarum habeo dentes plenos, lippiunt fauces fame,
ita cibi vacivitate venio lassis lactibus.
Ph. Iam edes aliquid. Cv. Nolo hercle aliquid: certum quam aliquid 320
mavolo.

Cvrc. I’m done for, I can scarcely look ahead,
I have my teeth full of chaff, my throat is blearing from hunger,
thus, by the vacuity of food, I come with weary guts.
Ph. Now you will eat something. Cv. By Hercules, I don’t want “something”: I prefer a sure thing rather than “something.” 320

Pal. Immo si scias, reliquiae quae sint. Cvrc. Scire nimis lubet
ubi sient, nam illis conventis sane opus est meis dentibus.
Ph. Pernam, abdomen, sumen sueris, glandium++Cv. Ain tu omnia haec?

Pal. Nay rather, if you knew, what the leftovers are. Cvrc. I am exceedingly eager to know where they may be, for my teeth truly have need of an encounter with them.
Ph. Ham, paunch, sow’s udder—of acorn-fed swine—++Cv. Do you say all these?

in carnario fortasse dicis. Ph. Immo in lancibus,
quae tibi sunt parata, postquam scimus venturum. Cvrc. Vide 325

perhaps you mean in the larder. Ph. Nay, rather on platters,
which have been prepared for you, after we learned you were coming. Cvrc. Look 325

ne me ludas. Phaed. Ita me amabit quam ego amo, ut ego haud mentior.
sed quod te misi, nihilo sum certior.

do not make sport of me. Phaed. So may she love me as I love, that I do not lie.
but as to what I sent you for, I am no whit more certain.

Cvrc. Nihil attuli.
Phaed. Perdidisti me. Cvrc. Invenire possum, si mi operam datis.
postquam tuo iussu profectus sum, perveni in Cariam,
video tuom sodalem, argenti rogo uti faciat copiam. 330
scires velle gratiam tuam, noluit frustrarier,
ut decet velle hominem amicum amico, atque opitularier:
respondit mihi paucis verbis, atque adeo fideliter,
quod tibi est item sibi esse, magnam argenti inopiam.

Curc. I brought nothing.
Phaed. You have ruined me. Curc. I can find some, if you give me your aid.
after I set out by your order, I arrived in Caria,
I see your sodalis, I ask that he make a supply of silver available. 330
you should know he desired your favor; he did not wish you to be disappointed,
as it befits a man, a friend to a friend, to be willing and to help;
he answered me in few words, and indeed quite faithfully,
that what there is for you is likewise for himself: a great scarcity of silver.

Phaed. Perdis me tuis dictis. Cvrc. Immo servo et servatum volo. 335
postquam mihi responsum est, abeo ab illo maestus ad forum
med illo frustra advenisse. forte aspicio militem.

Phaed. You undo me with your words. Cvrc. No indeed, I preserve you and I want you preserved. 335
after an answer was given to me, I go away from him, sad, to the forum
thinking I had come to him in vain. By chance I catch sight of a soldier.

aggredior hominem, saluto adveniens. 'salve' inquit mihi,
prendit dexteram, seducit, rogat quid veniam Cariam;
dico me illo advenisse animi causa. ibi me interrogat, 340

I approach the man, I greet him as I come up. 'Hail,' he says to me,
he takes my right hand, draws me aside, asks why I am coming to Caria;
I say that I have come there for my spirit’s sake. There he questions me, 340

ecquem in Epidauro Lyconem tarpezitam noverim.
dico me novisse. 'quid?

whether I might know Lycon the trapezite (banker) in Epidaurus.
I say that I know him. 'what?

lenonem Cappadocem?' annuo
visitasse. 'sed quid eum vis?' 'quia de illo emi virginem
triginta minis, vestem, aurum; et pro is decem coaccedunt minae.'
'dedisti tu argentum?' inquam. 'immo apud trapezitam situm est 345
illum quem dixi Lyconem, atque ei mandavi, qui anulo
meo tabellas obsignatas attulisset, ut daret
operam, ut mulierem a lenone cum auro et veste abduceret.'
postquam hoc mihi narravit, abeo ab illo.

'The Cappadocian pimp?' I nod
that I had visited. 'But why do you want him?' 'Because from him I bought a maiden
for thirty minae, clothing, gold; and in addition to these ten minae accrue.'
'Did you give the silver?' I say. 'No; it is deposited with the banker (trapezite), 345
that Lycon whom I mentioned, and I instructed him that whoever
should bring tablets sealed with my ring should see to it
that the woman be led away from the pimp along with the gold and clothing.'
After he told me this, I go away from him.

revocat me ilico,
vocat me ad cenam; religio fuit, denegare nolui. 350
'quid si abeamus ac decumbamus?' inquit. consilium placet:
'neque diem decet morari, neque nocti nocerier.'
'omnis res paratast'. et nos, quibus paratum est, assumus.
postquam cenati atque appoti, talos poscit sibi in manum,
provocat me in aleam, ut ego ludam: pono pallium; 355

he calls me back on the spot,
invites me to dinner; it was a scruple—I did not wish to refuse. 350
“What if we go off and recline?” he says. The plan pleases:
“neither is it fitting to delay the day, nor for harm to be done to night.”
“everything is prepared.” And we, for whom it is prepared, take it up.
after we had dined and drunk, he asks to have dice into his hand,
he challenges me to gaming at dice, that I should play: I stake my cloak; 355

ille suom amiculum opposivit, invocat Planesium.
Phaed. Meosne amores? Cvrc. Tace parumper.

he put up his own little cloak, he invokes Planesium.
Phaed. My amours? Cvrc. Be quiet for a little while.

iacit volturios quattuor.
talos arripio, invoco almam meam nutricem Herculem,
iacto basilicum; propino magnum poclum: ille ebibit,
caput deponit, condormiscit. ego ei subduco anulum, 360
deduco pedes de lecto clam, ne miles sentiat.

he throws four vultures.
I snatch up the knuckle-bones, I invoke my kindly nurse Hercules,
I cast the royal throw; I pledge a great cup: he drinks it down,
lays down his head, nods off. I filch his ring from him, 360
I draw my feet down from the couch secretly, lest the soldier notice.

rogant me servi quo eam: dico me ire quo saturi solent.
ostium ubi conspexi, exinde me ilico protinam dedi.
Phaed. Laudo.

the slaves ask me where I am going: I say I am going where the sated are wont to go.
when I caught sight of the door, from there I straightway immediately betook myself.
Phaed. I approve.

Cvrc. Laudato quando illud quod cupis effecero.
* * * 364a
eamus nunc intro, ut tabellas consignemus. Phaed. Num moror?

Cvrc. Praise me when I shall have effected that which you desire.
* * * 364a
let us now go inside, so that we may seal the tablets. Phaed. Am I delaying?

Cvrc. Atque aliquid prius obstrudamus, pernam, sumen, glandium,
haec sunt ventris stabilimenta, pane et assa bubula,
poculum grande, aula magna, ut satis consilia suppetant.
tu tabellas consignato, hic ministrabit, ego edam.
dicam quem ad modum conscribas.

Cvrc. And let us first cram down something, ham, sow’s udder, acorn-balls,
these are the stabiliments of the belly, with bread and roast beef,
a large cup, a great pot, so that counsels may suffice.
you seal the tablets; this one will serve; I will eat.
I will tell you in what manner you should write.

sequere me hac intro. Phaed. Sequor.++ 370

follow me this way in. Phaed. I follow.++ 370

ACTVS III

ACT 3

III.i
Lyco Beatus videor: subduxi ratiunculam,
quantum aeris mihi sit quantumque alieni siet:
dives sum, si non reddo eis quibus debeo.
[si reddo illis quibus debeo, plus alieni est.]
verum hercle vero cum belle recogito, 375
si magis me instabunt, ad praetorem sufferam.
[habent hunc morem plerique argentarii,
ut alius alium poscant, reddant nemini,
pugnis rem solvant, si quis poscat clarius.]
qui homo mature quaesivit pecuniam, 380
nisi eam mature parsit, mature esurit.

3.i
Lyco I seem blessed: I have drawn up a little reckoning,
how much ready cash I have and how much of others’ there is:
I am rich, if I do not render to those to whom I owe.
[if I render to those to whom I owe, there is more of others’.]
but, by Hercules, truly, when I nicely re-cogitate, 375
if they press me more, I will carry myself to the praetor.
[most argentaries have this custom,
that one duns another, they render to no one,
they settle the matter with fists, if anyone demands more plainly.]
the man who has early sought money, 380
unless he has early spared it, he hungers early.

cupio aliquem emere puerum, qui usurarius
nunc mihi quaeratur. usus est pecunia.
Cvrcvlio Nil tu me saturum monueris.

I desire to buy some boy, who may be a usurer,
now to be sought out for me. Money is needed.
Cvrcvlio Nothing will you have admonished me, sated.

memini et scio.
ego hoc effectum lepide tibi tradam. tace. 385

I remember and I know.
I will hand this thing effected over to you neatly. Be silent. 385

edepol ne ego hic med intus explevi probe,
et quidem reliqui in ventre cellae uni locum,
ubi reliquiarum reliquias reconderem.
quis hic est qui operto capite Aesculapium
salutat? attat, quem quaerebam.

By Pollux, indeed I have filled myself up inside here thoroughly,
and indeed I have left in my belly a place for one cell,
where I might re-store the leftovers of the leftovers.
Who is this here who, with covered head, salutes Aesculapius?
Ah, the one I was seeking.

sequere me. 390
simulabo quasi non noverim. heus tu, te volo.
Lyc. Vnocule, salve.

Follow me. 390
I will pretend as though I do not know him. Hey, you, I want you.
Lyc. One-eye, hail.

Cvrc. Quaeso, deridesne me?
Lyc. De Coclitum prosapia te esse arbitror,
nam ei sunt unoculi. Cvrc. Catapulta hoc ictum est mihi
apud Sicyonem. Lyc. Nam quid id refert mea, 395
an aula quassa cum cinere effossus siet?

Curc. Pray, do you deride me?
Lyc. I judge you to be of the progeny of the Coclites, for they are one-eyed. Curc. This was a catapult-strike on me at Sicyon. Lyc. For what does that matter to me, 395
whether he were dug up with ash with a cracked pot?

Cvrc. Superstitiosus hic quidem est, vera praedicat;
nam illaec catapultae ad me crebro commeant.
adulescens, ob rem publicam hoc intus mihi
quod insigne habeo, quaeso ne me incomities. 400

Cvrc. This fellow is indeed superstitious; he predicts truths;
for those catapults come to me frequently.
Young man, on account of the commonwealth, because of this badge that I have within me,
I beg, do not leave me unaccompanied. 400

Lyc. Licetne inforare, si incomitiare non licet?
Cvrc. Non inforabis me quidem, nec mihi placet
tuom profecto nec forum nec comitium.
sed hunc, quem quaero, commonstrare si potes,
inibis a me solidam et grandem gratiam. 405
Lyconem quaero tarpezitam.

Lyc. Is it permitted to inform, if it is not permitted to accompany?
Cvrc. You will not inform against me indeed, nor assuredly do I like your forum nor your comitium.
but if you can point out this man whom I seek,
you will earn from me solid and grand favor. 405
I am seeking Lycon, the trapezite (banker).

Lyc. Dic mihi,
quid eum nunc quaeris? aut cuiati's? Cvrc. Eloquar.
ab Therapontigono Platagidoro milite.

Lyc. Tell me,
what are you seeking him for now? or of what country are you? Cvrc. I will speak.
from the soldier Therapontigonus Platagidorus.

Lyc. Novi edepol nomen, nam mihi istoc nomine,
dum scribo, explevi totas ceras quattuor. 410
sed quid Lyconem quaeris? Cvrc. Mandatumst mihi,
ut has tabellas ad eum ferrem. Lyc. Quis tu homo es?
Cvrc. Libertus illius, quem omnes Summanum vocant.

Lyc. By Pollux, I know the name, for with that name,
while I write, I have filled up four whole wax-tablets. 410
but why do you seek Lycon? Cvrc. I have a mandate,
that I carry these tablets to him. Lyc. What man are you?
Cvrc. The freedman of that man whom all call Summanus.

Lyc. Summane, salve. qui Summanu's? fac sciam.
Cvrc. Quia vestimenta, ubi obdormivi ebrius, 415

Lyc. Summanus, hail. How are you Summanus? See that I know.
Cvrc. Because the clothes, where I fell asleep drunk, 415

summano, ob eam rem me omnes Summanum vocant.
Lyc. Alibi te meliust quaerere hospitium tibi:
apud me profecto nihil est Summano loci.
sed istum quem quaeris ego sum.

at daybreak; for that reason everyone calls me “Summanus.”
Lyc. Elsewhere it is better for you to seek lodgings for yourself:
with me, assuredly, there is no place for Summanus.
but that one whom you’re seeking, I am.

Cvrc. Quaeso, tune is es,
Lyco trapezita? Lyc. Ego sum. Cvrc. Multam me tibi 420
salutem iussit Therapontigonus dicere,
et has tabellas dare me iussit.

Cvrc. Please, are you that man,
Lyco the banker? Lyc. I am. Cvrc. Therapontigonus ordered me to give you 420
many greetings,
and he ordered me to give these tablets.

Lyc. Mihin? Cvrc. Ita.
cape, signum nosce.

Lyc. To me? Cvrc. Yes.
take it, recognize the signet.

nostin? Lyc. Quidni noverim?
clupeatus elephantum ubi machaera dissicit.

Do you know it? Lyc. Why should I not know it?
the clipeate (shield-bearing) one, where the machaera dissects elephants.

Cvrc. Quod istic scriptum est, id te orare iusserat 425
profecto ut faceres, suam si velles gratiam.
Lyc. Concede, inspiciam quid sit scriptum. Cvrc. Maxime,
tuo arbitratu, dum auferam abs te id quod peto.

Cvrc. What is written there, that he had surely ordered you to entreat 425
that you actually do, if you wished his grace.
Lyc. Step aside, I will inspect what is written. Cvrc. Most certainly,
at your discretion, while I carry off from you that which I seek.

Lyc. 'Miles Lyconi in Epidauro hospiti
suo Therapontigonus Platagidorus plurimam 430

Lyc. 'To Lyco, his host in Epidaurus,
the soldier Therapontigonus Platagidorus sends very many greetings 430

salutem dicit.' Cvrc. Meus hic est, hamum vorat.
Lyc. 'Tecum oro et quaeso, qui has tabellas adferet
tibi, ut ei detur quam istic emi virginem,
quod te praesente isti egi teque interprete,
et aurum et vestem. iam scis ut convenerit: 435
argentum des lenoni, is huic det virginem.'
ubi ipsus?

'sends salutations.' Cvrc. He’s my man; he swallows the hook.
Lyc. 'I entreat and beseech you that the man who will bring these tablets to you be given the maiden whom I bought there with you, which I transacted with that fellow with you present and with you as interpreter, both the gold and the clothing. Now you know how it was agreed: 435
give the silver to the pimp; let him give the maiden to this man.'
where is he himself?

cur non venit? Cvrc. Ego dicam tibi:
quia nudiusquartus venimus in Cariam
ex India; ibi nunc statuam volt dare auream
solidam faciundam ex auro Philippo, quae siet 440
septempedalis, factis monumentum suis.
Lyc. Quam ob rem istuc?

why does he not come? Cvrc. I will tell you:
because three days ago we came into Caria
from India; there now he wants to have a golden statue given, solid,
to be made from Philippian gold, which shall be 440
seven feet tall, a monument to his deeds.
Lyc. For what reason is that?

Cvrc. Dicam. quia enim Persas, Paphlagones,
Sinopes, Arabes, Cares, Cretanos, Syros,
Rhodiam atque Lyciam, Perediam et Perbibesiam,
Centauromachiam et Classiam Vnomammiam, 445

Cvrc. I’ll say. Because indeed the Persians, Paphlagonians,
the Sinopeans, Arabs, Carians, Cretans, Syrians,
the Rhodian and Lycia, Peredia and Perbibesia,
the Centauromachy and the Classia Unomammia, 445

~ Libyamque oram omnem Conterebromniam,
dimidiam partem nationum usque omnium
subegit solus intra viginti dies.
Lyc. Vah. Cvrc. Quid mirare?

~ and Libya and the whole Conterebromnian coast,
even half of all nations
he subjugated alone within twenty days.
Lyc. Ah. Cvrc. Why do you marvel?

Lyc. Quia enim in cavea si forent
conclusi, itidem ut pulli gallinacei, 450
ita non potuere uno anno circumirier.
credo hercle te esse ab illo, ita nugas blatis.
Cvrc. Immo etiam porro, si vis, dicam.

Lyc. Because indeed, if they were enclosed in a cage,
shut in just like chicken chicks, 450
even so they could not be gone around in one year.
I believe, by Hercules, that you are from that fellow—you blather such trifles.
Cvrc. Not so; rather, further still, if you wish, I will tell.

Lyc. Nil moror.
sequere hac, te absolvam qua advenisti gratia.
atque eccum video.

Lyc. I do not object.
follow this way; I will satisfy the favor for which you arrived.
and behold, there he is—I see him.

leno, salve. Cappadox Di te ament. 455
Lyc. Quid hoc quod ad te venio? Capp. Dicas quid velis.

pander, greetings. Cappadox May the gods love you. 455
Lyc. What say you to this, that I come to you? Capp. Say what you wish.

Lyc. Argentum accipias, cum illo mittas virginem.
Capp. Quid quod iuratus sum? Lyc. Quid id refert tua,
dum argentum accipias?

Lyc. Take the silver; send the maiden with him.
Capp. What of my having sworn an oath? Lyc. What does that matter to you,
so long as you take the silver?

Capp. Qui monet quasi adiuvat. 459-460
sequimini. Cvrc. Leno, cave in te sit mora mihi.++ 461

Capp. He who admonishes, as it were, helps. 459-460
follow. Cvrc. Pimp, beware there be no delay for me on your account.++ 461

ACTVS IV

ACT 4

IV.i
Choragvs Edepol nugatorem lepidum lepide hunc nactust Phaedromus.
halapantam an sycophantam magis esse dicam nescio.
ornamenta quae locavi metuo ut possim recipere;
quamquam cum istoc mihi negoti nihil est: ipsi Phaedromo 465
credidi; tamen asservabo.

4.1
Choragus By Pollux, Phaedromus has cleverly come upon this clever trifler.
whether I should say he is more a grab-all or a sycophant, I do not know.
the ornaments which I leased out I fear I may not be able to recover;
although with that fellow I have no business: to Phaedromus himself 465
I entrusted them; nevertheless I will keep guard.

sed dum hic egreditur foras,
commonstrabo, quo in quemque hominem facile inveniatis loco,
ne nimio opere sumat operam si quem conventum velit,
vel vitiosum vel sine vitio, vel probum vel improbum.
qui periurum convenire volt hominem ito in comitium; 470
qui mendacem et gloriosum, apud Cloacinae sacrum,
ditis damnosos maritos sub basilica quaerito.
ibidem erunt scorta exoleta quique stipulari solent,
symbolarum collatores apud forum piscarium.

but while this fellow goes outside,
I will point out in what place you may easily find each sort of man,
so that he not take excessive trouble if he wishes to meet someone,
whether vicious or without vice, whether upright or depraved.
he who wishes to meet a perjured man, go into the Comitium; 470
he who a liar and a vainglorious braggart, at the shrine of Cloacina;
seek the spendthrift husbands of rich women under the basilica.
in the same place there will be worn‑out harlots and those who are wont to stipulate,
contributors of “symbolae” at the fish‑market forum.

in foro infimo boni homines atque dites ambulant, 475

in the lowest forum good men and the wealthy walk, 475

in medio propter canalem, ibi ostentatores meri;
confidentes garrulique et malevoli supera lacum,
qui alteri de nihilo audacter dicunt contumeliam
et qui ipsi sat habent quod in se possit vere dicier.
sub veteribus, ibi sunt qui dant quique accipiunt faenore. 480
pone aedem Castoris, ibi sunt subito quibus credas male.
in Tusco vico, ibi sunt homines qui ipsi sese venditant,
[in Velabro vel pistorem vel lanium vel haruspicem]
vel qui ipsi vorsant vel qui aliis ubi vorsentur praebeant.

in the middle near the channel, there the mere ostentators;
the confident, the garrulous, and the ill-disposed above the pool,
who boldly hurl insult at another over nothing,
and who themselves have enough that can truly be said against them.
under the Old Shops, there are those who give and those who receive at interest. 480
behind the Temple of Castor, there are those whom you would ill trust on the spur of the moment.
in the Tuscan Street, there are men who peddle themselves,
[in the Velabrum either a baker or a butcher or a haruspex]
or who themselves fleece, or who provide for others a place where they may be fleeced.

[ditis damnosos maritos apud Leucadiam Oppiam.] 485
sed interim fores crepuere: linguae moderandum est mihi.++

[the rich spendthrift husbands at Oppia the Leucadian's.] 485
but meanwhile the doors have creaked: my tongue must be moderated.++

ACTVS V

ACT 5

IV.ii
Cvrcvlio I tu prae, virgo: non queo quod pone me est servare.
et aurum et vestem omnem suam esse aiebat quam haec haberet.
Cappadox Nemo it infitias.

4.2
Curculio Go on ahead, girl: I cannot keep what is behind me.
And he said that both the gold and all the vesture were his, which this one had.
Cappadox No one denies it.

Cvrc. At tamen meliusculum est monere.
Lyco Memento promisisse te, si quisquam hanc liberali 490
causa manu assereret, mihi omne argentum redditum iri,
minas triginta. Capp. Meminero, de istoc quietus esto.

Cvrc. But yet it is somewhat better to warn.
Lyco Remember you promised that, if anyone should claim her by hand on a plea of freedom 490
that all the silver would be returned to me,
thirty minas. Capp. I shall remember; about that be at ease.

et nunc idem dico. Cvrc. Et quidem meminisse ego haec volam te.
Capp. Memini, et mancupio tibi dabo. Cvrc. Egon ab lenone quicquam
mancupio accipiam, quibus sui nihil est nisi una lingua, 495
qui abiurant si quid creditum est?

and now I say the same. Cvrc. And indeed I will wish you to remember these things.
Capp. I remember, and I will give it to you with guarantee. Cvrc. I—from a pimp am I to accept anything with a guarantee, they who have nothing of their own except a single tongue, 495
who forswear a loan if anything has been entrusted?

alienos mancupatis,
alienos manu emittitis alienisque imperatis,
nec vobis auctor ullus est nec vosmet estis ulli.
item genus est lenonium inter homines meo quidem animo
ut muscae, culices, cimices pedesque pulicesque: 500

you mancipate others,
you manumit others and you give orders to others’ people,
nor have you any guarantor, nor are you yourselves a guarantor to anyone.
likewise, the genus of pimps among men, in my mind at least,
is like flies, gnats, bedbugs, lice, and fleas: 500

odio et malo et molestiae, bono usui estis nulli,
nec vobiscum quisquam in foro frugi consistere audet;
qui constitit, culpant eum, conspicitur vituperatur,
eum rem fidemque perdere, tam etsi nil fecit, aiunt.
Lyc. Edepol lenones meo animo novisti, lusce, lepide. 505
Cvrc. Eodem hercle vos pono et paro: parissimi estis hibus:
hi saltem in occultis locis prostant, vos in foro ipso;
vos faenore homines, hi male suadendo et lustris lacerant.
rogitationis plurimas propter vos populus scivit,
quas vos rogatas rumpitis: aliquam reperitis rimam; 510
quasi aquam ferventem frigidam esse, ita vos putatis leges.

for hatred and harm and annoyance, you are of good use to no one,
nor does anyone of probity dare to stand with you in the forum;
whoever has stood, they blame him, he is observed and is vituperated,
they say that he is ruining his property and his good faith, even if he has done nothing.
Lyc. By Pollux, you know pimps, in my mind, one-eye, neatly. 505
Cvrc. By Hercules, I set and pair you in the same class: you are most like these:
these at least stand forth in hidden places, you in the forum itself;
you lacerate men by usury, they by ill advising and by brothels.
on account of you the people has passed very many rogations,
which, when rogate, you break: you find some crack; 510
just as if boiling water were cold—so you think the laws.

Lyc. Tacuisse mavellem. Capp. Hau male meditate maledicax es.
Cvrc. Indignis si male dicitur, male dictum id esse dico,
verum si dignis dicitur, bene dictumst meo quidem animo.
ego mancupem te nil moror nec lenonem alium quemquam. 515

Lyc. I would rather have kept silent. Capp. Not ill-prepared, you are a slanderer.
Cvrc. If ill is spoken to the undeserving, I say that is ill-spoken,
but if it is spoken to the deserving, it is well-spoken, at least in my mind.
I care not a whit for you the slave-dealer, nor for any other pimp whatsoever. 515

Lyco, numquid vis? Ly. Bene vale. Cv. Vale.

Lyco, is there anything you want? Ly. Fare you well. Cv. Farewell.

Ca. Heus tu, tibi ego dico.
Cvrc. Eloquere, quid vis? Capp. Quaeso, ut hanc cures, bene sit isti.

Ca. Hey, you—I’m speaking to you.
Cvrc. Speak out, what do you want? Capp. I beseech, that you cure her, that it may be well for that fellow.

bene ego istam eduxi meae domi et pudice. Cvrc. Si huius miseret,
ecquid das qui bene sit? Capp. Malum.

I have brought that girl up well at my house, and chastely. Cvrc. If you pity her,
will you give anything so that it may go well with her? Capp. A beating.

Cvrc. Opust hoc qui te procures.
Capp. Quid stulta ploras? ne time, bene hercle vendidi ego te; 520
fac sis bonae frugi sies, sequere istum bella belle.

Cvrc. You need this man to look after you.
Capp. Why are you weeping, foolish girl? Don’t be afraid; by Hercules, I sold you well; 520
see that you are of good frugal character—do be so—follow that fellow nicely, nicely.

Lyc. Summane, numquid nunciam me vis? Cvrc. Vale atque salve,
nam et operam et pecuniam benigne praebuisti.
Lyc. Salutem multam dicito patrono.

Lyc. By Summanus, do you want anything of me now? Cvrc. Farewell and be well,
for you have kindly furnished both service and money.
Lyc. Give many greetings to the patron.

Cvrc. Nuntiabo.++
Lyc. Numquid vis, leno? Capp. Istas minas decem, qui me procurem, 525
dum melius sit mihi, des. Lyc. Dabuntur, cras peti iubeto.++
Capp. Quando bene gessi rem, volo hic in fano supplicare.

Cvrc. I will announce.++
Lyc. Do you want anything, procurer? Capp. Those ten minas, that I may procure for myself, 525
until it be better with me, give. Lyc. They will be given; order them to be asked for tomorrow.++
Capp. Since I have managed the affair well, I wish to supplicate here in the fane.

nam illam minis olim decem puellam parvolam emi,
sed eum qui mi illam vendidit numquam postilla vidi;
periisse credo. quid id mea refert? ego argentum habeo. 530

for I once bought that tiny girl for ten minae,
but the one who sold her to me I have never seen since then;
I believe he has perished. What does that concern me? I have the silver. 530

quoi homini di sunt propitii, lucrum ei profecto obiciunt.
nunc rei divinae operam dabo. certumst bene me curare.++

To whatever man the gods are propitious, they surely throw lucre in his way.
Now I will give attention to the divine service. I am resolved to take good care of myself.++

IV.iii

4.3

Therapontigonvs Non ego nunc mediocri incedo iratus iracundia,
sed eapse illa qua excidionem facere condidici oppidis.
nunc nisi tu mihi propere properas dare iam triginta minas, 535
quas ego apud te deposivi, vitam propera ponere.
Lyco Non edepol nunc ego te mediocri macto infortunio,
sed eopse illo quo mactare soleo quoi nil debeo.

Therapontigonvs I am not now striding angry with a moderate iracundity,
but with that very same by which I have thoroughly learned to make excision for towns.
now unless you promptly hasten to give me at once thirty minas, 535
which I deposited with you, make haste to lay down your life.
Lyco By Pollux, I do not now smite you with a moderate misfortune,
but with that very one with which I am accustomed to slaughter one to whom I owe nothing.

Ther. Ne te mi facias ferocem aut supplicare censeas.
Lyc. Nec tu me quidem umquam subiges, redditum ut reddam tibi, 540
nec daturus sum. Ther. Idem ego istuc quom credebam credidi,
te nihil esse redditurum.

Ther. Do not make yourself fierce toward me, nor suppose that I will supplicate.
Lyc. Nor, indeed, will you ever subdue me, so that I render it back to you, 540
nor am I going to give it. Ther. That same thing I believed when I believed it: that you would render nothing.

Lyc. Quor nunc a me igitur petis?
Ther. Scire volo quoi reddidisti. Lyc. Lusco liberto tuo,
is Summanum se vocari dixit, ei reddidi.

Lyc. Why then do you now seek it from me?
Ther. I want to know to whom you rendered it back. Lyc. To Luscus, your freedman; he said he is called Summanus; to him I returned it.

[qui has tabellas obsignatas attulit. Ther. Quas tu mihi tabellas?] 545

[who brought these sealed tablets. Ther. What tablets for me?] 545

quos tu mihi luscos libertos, quos Summanos somnias?
nec mihi quidem libertus ullust. Lyc. Facis sapientius
quam pars ~ lenonum, libertos qui habent et eos deserunt.

what one-eyed freedmen of mine, what Summanuses are you dreaming up?
nor indeed do I have any freedman at all. Lyc. You act more wisely
than a part of the pimps, who have freedmen and then desert them.

Ther. Quid feci ~ Lyc. Quod mandasti feci, tui honoris gratia,
tuom qui signum ad me attulisset, nuntium ne spernerem. 550
Ther. Stultior stulto fuisti, qui tabellis crederes.
Lyc. Quis res publica et privata geritur, nonne eis crederem?
ego abeo, tibi res solutast recte.

Ther. What have I done ~ Lyc. What you commanded I did, for the sake of your honor, that I should not spurn a messenger who had brought your sign to me. 550
Ther. You were more foolish than a fool, to believe in tablets.
Lyc. Since public and private business is conducted by them, should I not believe them? I am going; the business is duly settled for you.

bellator, vale.
Ther. Quid valeam? Lyc. Aut tu aegrota aetatem, si lubet, per me quidem.++
Ther. Quid ego nunc faciam?

warrior, farewell.
Ther. How can I be well?
Lyc. Or you be sick for a lifetime, if it pleases you, for all I care.++
Ther. What am I to do now?

quid refert me fecisse regibus 555
ut mi oboedirent, si hic me hodie umbraticus deriserit?

what does it matter that I have done for kings 555
so that they would obey me, if this stay-at-home has mocked me today?

IV.iv

4.4

Cappadox Quoi homini di sunt propitii, ei non esse iratos puto.
postquam rem divinam feci, venit in mentem mihi,
ne trapezita exulatum abierit, argentum ut petam,
ut ego potius comedim quam ille. Ther. Iusseram salvere te. 560
Capp. Therapontigone Platagidore, salve; salvos quom advenis
in Epidaurum, hic hodie apud me++numquam delinges salem.

Cappadox To whatever man the gods are propitious, I think they are not angry with him.
after I performed the divine rite, it came into my mind, lest the money‑changer has gone off into exile, to seek the silver, so that I may eat rather than he. Ther. I had bidden you to be well. 560
Capp. Therapontigonus Platagidorus, hail; since you arrive safe in Epidaurus, here today at my place++you will never lick salt.

Ther. Bene vocas, verum locata res est++ut male sit tibi.
sed quid agit meum mercimonium apud te? Capp. Nil apud me quidem,
ne facias testis, neque equidem debeo quicquam. Ther. Quid est? 565
Capp. Quod fui iuratus feci.

Ther. You speak well, but the affair is arranged—may it go ill for you.
but what is my merchandise doing with you? Capp. Nothing with me indeed—
so you won’t make witnesses—and for my part I owe nothing at all. Ther. What is this? 565
Capp. What I was sworn to, I have done.

Ther. Reddin an non virginem,
prius quam te huic meae machaerae obicio, mastigia?
Capp. Vapulare ego te vehementer iubeo: ne me territes.
illa abductast, tu auferere hinc a me, si perges mihi
male loqui, profecto, cui ego nisi malum nil debeo. 570

Ther. Are you giving back the maiden or not, before I throw you upon this my sword, you whip-worthy wretch?
Capp. I order you to be thrashed vehemently: do not try to terrify me.
she has been carried off; you take yourself away from me from here, if you persist in speaking ill to me—surely, to you I owe nothing except harm. 570

T. Mihin malum minitare? C. Atque edepol non minitabor, sed dabo,
mihi si perges molestus esse. Ther. Leno minitatur mihi,
meaeque pugnae proeliares plurimae optritae iacent?

T. Why the deuce do you threaten me? C. And by Pollux, I will not threaten, but I will give it, if you keep on being troublesome to me. Ther. A pimp threatens me, and my very many warlike battles lie worn down?

at ita me machaera et clupeus *
bene iuvent pugnantem in acie: nisi mi virgo redditur, 575
iam ego te faciam ut hic formicae frustillatim differant.
Capp. At ita me volsellae, pecten, speculum, calamistrum meum
bene me amassint meaque axitia linteumque extersui,
ut ego tua magnifica verba neque istas tuas magnas minas
non pluris facio quam ancillam meam quae latrinam lavat. 580
ego illam reddidi qui argentum a te attulit. Ther. Quis is est homo?

but may the sword and the shield *
aid me well as I fight in the battle-line: unless the maiden is returned to me, 575
right now I will make it so that here the ants carry you off in tiny bits.
Capp. But may the tweezers, the comb, the mirror, my curling-iron
have loved me well, and that I have wiped off my cosmetics and my little linen towel,
so that I value your magnificent words and those great threats of yours
no more than I do my maid who washes the latrine. 580
I returned her to the one who brought the silver from you. Ther. Who is that man?

Capp. Tuom libertum esse aiebat sese Summanum. Ther. Meum?
attat, Curculio hercle verba mihi dedit, cum cogito.

Capp. He said that he himself, Summanus, was your freedman. Ther. Mine?
Ah, by Hercules, Curculio deceived me, when I think of it.

is mihi anulum subripuit. Capp. Perdidistin tu anulum?
miles pulchre centuriatus est expuncto in manipulo. 585

He stole a ring from me. Capp. Did you lose your ring?
the soldier is nicely centuriated, with his maniple expunged. 585

Ther. Vbi nunc Curculionem inveniam? Capp. In tritico facillume,
vel quingentos curculiones pro uno faxo reperias.
ego abeo, vale atque salve.++Ther. Male vale, male sit tibi.

Ther. Where now am I to find Curculio? Capp. In the wheat, most easily,
even five hundred weevils in place of one I’ll make sure you may discover.
I’m off; farewell and hail.++Ther. Fare ill; may it go ill for you.

quid ego faciam? maneam an abeam? sicin mi esse os oblitum?

what am I to do? shall I stay or shall I go? am I to have my face thus besmeared?

cupio dare mercedem qui illunc ubi sit commonstret mihi. 590

I desire to give a reward to whoever will point out to me where that fellow is. 590

V.i

5.1

Cvrcvlio Antiquom poetam audivi scripsisse in tragoedia,
mulieres duas peiores esse quam unam. res itast.
verum mulierem peiorem quam haec amica est Phaedromi
non vidi aut audivi, neque pol dici nec fingi potest
peior quam haec est: quae ubi me habere hunc conspicatast anulum, 595
rogat unde habeam.

Curculio I heard that an ancient poet wrote in a tragedy,
that two women are worse than one. The matter is so.
but a woman worse than this girlfriend of Phaedromus
I have neither seen nor heard, nor—by Pollux—can it be said nor imagined
worse than she is: who, when she caught sight that I had this ring, 595
asks whence I have it.

'quid id tu quaeris?' 'quia mi quaesitost opus.'
nego me dicere. ut eum eriperet, manum arripuit mordicus.
vix foras me abripui atque effugi.

'Why do you ask that?' 'Because for me there is need to inquire.'
I refuse to say. In order to snatch it away, she seized my hand with her teeth.
I scarcely snatched myself away out of doors and escaped.

apage istanc caniculam.

Away with that little bitch.

V.ii

5.2

Planesivm Phaedrome, propera. Phaedromvs Quid properem? Plan. Parasitum
ne amiseris.

Planesium Phaedromus, hurry. Phaedromvs Why should I hurry? Plan. Parasite, don’t lose him.

magna res est. Phaed. Nulla est mihi, nam quam habui absumpsi celeriter. 600
Plan. Teneo.

It is a great matter. Phaed. I have none, for what I had I consumed quickly. 600
Plan. I grasp it.

Phaed. Quid negotist? Plan. Rogita unde istunc habeat
anulum.
pater istum meus gestitavit * Cvrc. At mea matertera.

Phaed. What’s the business? Plan. Ask from where that fellow has
the ring.
my father hankered after that * Cvrc. But my aunt.

Plan. Mater ei utendum dederat. Cvrc. Pater ~ uois rusum tibi.
Plan. Nugas garris.

Plan. His mother had given it to him to use. Cvrc. Your father—same back to you again.
Plan. You gabble nugatory nonsense.

Cvrc. Soleo, nam propter eas vivo facilius.
Plan. Quid nunc? obsecro, parentes ne meos mihi prohibeas. 605
Cvrc. Quid ego?

Cvrc. I am wont, for on account of them I live more easily.
Plan. What now? I beseech, do not prohibit my parents from me. 605
Cvrc. What, I?

sub gemmane abstrusos habeo tuam matrem et patrem?
Plan. Libera ego sum nata. Cvrc. Et alii multi qui nunc serviunt.

Do I have your mother and father hidden under a gemstone?
Plan. I was born free. Cvrc. And many others who now serve.

Phaed. Enim vero irascor. Cvrc. Dixi equidem tibi, unde ad me hic
pervenerit.
quotiens dicendum est?

Phaed. Indeed, truly I am angry. Cvrc. I did indeed tell you whence this one
has come to me.
how many times must it be said?

elusi militem, inquam, in alea.
Th. Salvos sum, eccum quem quaerebam. quid agis, bone vir?

I outplayed the soldier, I say, at dice.
Th. I am safe; look, here is the one whom I was seeking. How are you, good man?

Cv. Audio. 610
si vis tribus bolis, vel in chlamydem. Ther. Quin tu is in malam crucem
cum bolis, cum bulbis?

Cv. I hear. 610
if you want, with three mouthfuls, or into the chlamys. Ther. Why don’t you go to the cursed cross
with boluses, with bulbs?

redde mihi iam argentum aut virginem.
Cvrc. Quod argentum, quas tu mihi tricas narras? quam tu virginem
me reposcis?

give me back now the silver or the maiden.
Cvrc. What silver? what tricks are you telling me? what maiden are you demanding back from me?

Ther. Quam ab lenone abduxti hodie, scelus viri.
C. Nullam abduxi. T. Certe eccistam video.

Ther. The one whom you led away today from the procurer, you villain of a man.
C. I led away no one. T. Surely I see that woman right here.

Ph. Virgo haec libera 615
est.
Ther. Mean ancilla libera ut sit, quam ego numquam emisi manu?
Phaed. Quis tibi hanc dedit mancipio?

Ph. This maiden free 615
is.
Ther. My slave-girl to be free, whom I have never manumitted?
Phaed. Who gave her to you by mancipation?

aut unde emisti? fac sciam.
Ther. Ego quidem pro istac rem solvi ab trapezita meo.

or from where did you buy her? see that I know.
Ther. I for my part paid the price for that one from my banker.

quam ego pecuniam quadruplicem abs te et lenone auferam.
Phaed. Qui scis mercari furtivas atque ingenuas virgines, 620

for which I will carry off quadruple money from you and from the pimp.
Phaed. How is it you know to trade in stolen and freeborn maidens, 620

ambula in ius. Ther. Non eo. Phaed. Licet [te] antestari? Ther. Non
licet.

come to court. Ther. I’m not going. Phaed. May I call witnesses? Ther. It is
not permitted.

Phaed. Iuppiter te, miles, perdat, intestatus vivito;
at ego, quem licet, te. accede huc. Ther. Servom antestari? Cvrc. Vide.

Phaed. Jupiter destroy you, soldier; go on living intestate;
but I, to the extent permitted, do the same to you. Come here. Ther. To call a slave to witness? Cvrc. Look.

em ut scias me liberum esse. ergo ambula in ius. Ther. Em tibi. 624-625
C. O cives, cives.

Here, so that you may know that I am free. therefore walk into court. Ther. Here you are. 624-625
C. O citizens, citizens.

T. Quid clamas? Ph. Quid tibi istum tactio est? 626
T. Quia mihi lubitum est. Ph. Accede huc tu, ego illum tibi dedam, tace.

T. Why are you shouting? Ph. What business have you touching that man? 626
T. Because it has pleased me. Ph. Come here, you; I will hand him over to you, be silent.

Plan. Phaedrome, obsecro serva me. Ph. Tamquam me et genium meum.
miles, quaeso ut mihi dicas unde illum habeas anulum,
quem parasitus hic te elusit. Plan. Per tua genua te obsecro, 630
ut nos facias certiores.

Plan. Phaedromus, I beg, save me. Ph. As I would myself and my own genius.
soldier, I beg you to tell me whence you have that ring,
by which this parasite here has fooled you. Plan. By your knees I beg you, 630
that you make us better informed.

Ther. Quid istuc ad vos attinet?
quaeratis chlamydem et machaeram hanc unde ad me pervenerit.
Cvrc. Vt fastidit gloriosus.

Ther. What concern is that to you?
ask whence this cloak and this machaera came to me.
Cvrc. How the braggart disdains.

Ther. Mitte istum, ego dicam omnia.
Cvrc. Nihil est quod ille dicit. Plan. Fac me certiorem, obsecro.

Ther. Leave him; I will tell everything.
Cvrc. What he says is nothing. Plan. Make me more certain, I beseech.

Ther. Ego dicam, surge. hanc rem agite atque animum advortite. 635

Ther. I will tell; get up. Act on this matter and advert your mind. 635

pater meus habuit Periplanes ~Planesium
is prius quam moritur mihi dedit tamquam suo,
ut aequom fuerat, filio. Plan. Pro Iuppiter.
Ther. Et isto me heredem fecit.

My father Periplanes had Planesium ~Planesium
he, before he died, gave her to me, as to his own,
as was equitable, to his son. Plan. By Jupiter.
Ther. And in that too he made me heir.

Plan. Pietas mea,
serva me, quando ego te servavi sedulo. 640
frater mi, salve. Ther. Qui credam ego istuc? cedo,
si vera memoras, quae fuit mater tua?

Plan. My Piety,
save me, since I have saved you sedulously. 640
my brother, hail. Ther. How am I to believe that? Come,
if you recount true things, who was your mother?

Plan. Cleobula. Ther. Nutrix quae fuit? Plan. Archestrata.

Plan. Cleobula. Ther. Who was the nurse? Plan. Archestrata.

ea me spectatum tulerat per Dionysia.        644-645
postquam illo ventum est, iam, ut me collocaverat,         646
exoritur ventus turbo, spectacla ibi ruont,
ego pertimesco: [tum] ibi me nescio quis arripit
timidam atque pavidam, nec vivam nec mortuam.
nec quo me pacto abstulerit possum dicere.        650

she had taken me to see it at the Dionysia.        644-645
after we came there, now, just as she had seated me,         646
a whirlwind rises, the spectator-stands there collapse,
I am terrified: [then] there someone-or-other seizes me,
timid and panic-struck, neither alive nor dead.
nor can I say by what manner he carried me off.        650

Ther. Memini istanc turbam fieri. sed tu dic mihi,
ubi is est homo qui te surripuit? Plan. Nescio.

Ther. I remember that commotion happening. But you, tell me,
where is the man who surreptitiously stole you away? Plan. I do not know.

verum hunc servavi semper mecum una anulum;
cum hoc olim perii. Ther. Cedo, ut inspiciam. Cvrc. Sanan es,
quae isti committas?

but I have always kept this ring with me;
with this I once perished. Ther. Hand it over, that I may inspect it. Cvrc. Are you sane, that you would commit it to that fellow?

Plan. Sine modo. Ther. Pro Iuppiter, 655
hic est quem ego tibi misi natali die.
tam facile novi quam me. salve, mea soror.

Plan. Just allow it. Ther. By Jupiter, 655
this is the one whom I sent to you on your natal day.
I know him as easily as myself. Hail, my sister.

Plan. Frater mi, salve. Phaed. Deos volo bene vortere
istam rem vobis. Cvrc. Et ego nobis omnibus:
tu ut hodie adveniens cenam des sororiam, 660
hic nuptialem cras dabit.

Plan. My brother, greetings. Phaed. I want the gods to turn that matter well for you all. Cvrc. And I for us all: that you, arriving today, give a sororal dinner, 660
this man will give a nuptial one tomorrow.

promittimus.
Ther. Tace tu. Cvrc. Non taceo, quando res vortit bene.
tu istanc desponde huic, miles.

we promise.
Ther. Be quiet, you. Cvrc. I do not keep silent, since the matter turns out well.
you betroth that one to this man, soldier.

ego dotem dabo.
Ther. Quid dotis? Cvrc. Egone?

I will give the dowry.
Ther. What dowry?
Cvrc. I?

ut semper, dum vivat, me alat.
verum hercle dico. Ther. Me lubente feceris. 665

that always, so long as he lives, he may sustain me.
truly, by Hercules, I speak the truth. Ther. You will do it with my consent. 665

sed leno hic debet nobis triginta minas.
Phaed. Quam ob rem istuc? Ther. Quia ille ita repromisit mihi:
si quisquam hanc liberali asseruisset manu,
sine controversia omne argentum reddere.

but the pimp here owes us thirty minae.
Phaed. For what reason is that? Ther. Because he thus promised me:
if anyone should have asserted her to freedom by the liberal hand,
to return all the silver without controversy.

nunc eamus ad lenonem. Cvrc. Laudo. Phaed. Hoc prius volo, 670
meam rem agere.

now let us go to the pimp. Cvrc. I approve. Phaed. This first I want, 670
to attend to my own business.

Ther. Quid id est? Phaed. Vt mihi hanc despondeas.
Cvrc. Quid cessas, miles, hanc huic uxorem dare?

Ther. What is it? Phaed. That you betroth this woman to me.
Cvrc. Why do you delay, soldier, to give this woman as wife to this man?

T. Si haec volt. Pl. Mi frater, cupio. T. Fiat.

T. If she wills this. Pl. My brother, I desire it. T. Let it be done.

C. Bene facis.
Phaed. Spondesne, miles, mi hanc uxorem? Ther. Spondeo.

C. You do well.
Phaed. Do you pledge, soldier, this woman to me as wife? Ther. I pledge.

Cvrc. Et ego hoc idem una spondeo. Ther. Lepide facis. 675
sed eccum lenonem, incedit, thensaurum meum.

Cvrc. And I likewise pledge this same together. Ther. You do it neatly. 675
but look, the pimp—he’s coming—my treasure.

V.iii

5.3

Cappadox Argentariis male credi qui aiunt, nugas praedicant: 679
nam et bene et male credi dico; id adeo ego hodie expertus sum.
non male creditur qui numquam reddunt, sed prorsum perit.
vel ille, decem minas dum solvit, omnis mensas transiit.

Cappadox Those who say that it is bad to give credit to bankers are proclaiming trifles: 679
for I say credit can be given both well and badly; indeed I have experienced that today.
it is not “badly credited” with those who never pay back—it is outright lost.
or that fellow, while paying ten minas, has passed by all the tables.

postquam nil fit, clamore hominem posco: ille in ius me vocat;
pessume metui, ne mihi hodie apud praetorem solveret.
verum amici compulerunt: reddit argentum domo. 685
nunc domum properare certumst. Ther. Heus tu, leno, te volo.

after nothing happens, I demand the man with shouting: he summons me to court;
most dreadfully I feared, lest today before the praetor he would settle with me.
but friends compelled him: he pays back the silver at home. 685
now it’s decided to hurry home. Ther. Hey you, pimp, I want you.

Phaed. Et ego te volo. Capp. At ego vos nolo ambos. Ther. Sta sis ilico,
atque argentum propere propera vomere.

Phaed. And I want you too. Capp. But I do not want you both. Ther. Stand, please, right there,
and quickly make haste to spew forth the silver.

Capp. Quid mecum est tibi?
aut tibi? Ther. Quia ego ex te hodie faciam pilum catapultarium
atque ita te nervo torquebo, itidem ut catapultae solent. 690

Capp. What have you to do with me? or you? Ther. Because I will today make from you a catapult-dart,
and I will twist you on the sinew just so, as catapults are wont. 690

Phaed. Delicatum te hodie faciam, cum catello ut accubes,
ferreo ego dico. Capp. At ego vos ambo in robusto carcere
ut pereatis. Phaed. Collum obstringe, abduce istum in malam crucem.

Phaed. I will make you delicate today, so that you lie down with a little dog—iron, I say. Capp. But I want you both to perish in a robust prison. Phaed. Tie up his neck; lead that fellow off to the wicked cross.

Th. Quidquid est, ipse ibit potius. Ca. Pro deum atque hominum fidem,
hocine pacto indemnatum atque intestatum me abripi? 695
obsecro, Planesium, et te, Phaedrome, auxilium ut feras.
Plan. Frater, obsecro te, noli hunc condemnatum perdere.

Th. Whatever it is, he himself will go rather. Ca. By the faith of gods and men,
am I to be snatched away in this fashion, un-condemned and intestate? 695
I beseech, Planesium, and you, Phaedromus, that you bring help.
Plan. Brother, I beseech you, do not destroy this condemned man.

bene et pudice me domi habuit. Ther. Haud voluntate id sua:
Aesculapio huic habeto, quom pudica es, gratiam;
nam si valuisset, iam pridem quoquo posset mitteret. 700
Phaed. Animum advortite, si possum hoc inter vos componere.
mitte istunc.

He has kept me well and chastely at home. Ther. Not by his own will:
hold gratitude to this Aesculapius, since you are chaste;
for if he had had strength, long since he would have sent you wherever he could. 700
Phaed. Turn your mind here, if I can settle this between you.
send that fellow away.

accede huc, leno. dicam meam sententiam,
siquidem voltis quod decrero facere. Ther. Tibi permittimus:
Capp. Dum quidem hercle ita iudices, ne quisquam a me argentum auferat.

Come here, pimp. I will speak my opinion,
since indeed you want to do what I decree. Ther. We permit it to you:
Capp. Provided indeed, by Hercules, that you judge thus, that no one take silver from me.

T. Quodne promisti? Ca. Qui promisi? Ph. Lingua.

T. Is that what you promised? Ca. How did I promise? Ph. With your tongue.

Ca. Eadem nunc 705

Ca. The same now 705

nego.
dicendi, non rem perdendi gratia haec nata est mihi.
Ph. Nihil agit, collum obstringe homini.

I deny it.
This was born to me for speaking, not for losing my property.
Ph. It’s no use; bind the man’s neck.

Ca. Iam iam faciam ut iusseris.
Ther. Quando vir bonus es, responde quod rogo. Capp. Roga quod lubet.

Ca. Right now, right now I will do as you have ordered.
Ther. Since you are a good man, respond to what I ask. Capp. Ask what you please.

Ther. Promistin, si liberali quisquam hanc assereret manu,
te omne argentum redditurum? Capp. Non commemini dicere. 710
Ther. Quid? negas?

Ther. Did you promise, if anyone should assert this woman with a liberal hand, that you would return all the silver? Capp. I do not remember saying it. 710
Ther. What? Do you deny it?

Capp. Nego hercle vero. quo praesente? quo in loco?

Capp. By Hercules, truly I deny it. In whose presence? In what place?

Ther. Me ipso praesente et Lycone tarpezita. Capp. Non taces?
Ther. Non taceo.

Ther. With me myself present, and Lyco the banker. Capp. Won’t you be silent?
Ther. I will not be silent.

Capp. Non ego te flocci facio; ne me territes.
Ther. Me ipso praesente et Lycone factum est. Phaed. Satis credo tibi.

Capp. I don’t value you a floccus; don’t terrify me.
Ther. It was done with me myself present and with Lycon. Phaed. I believe you well enough.

nunc adeo, ut tu scire possis, leno, meam sententiam: 715
libera haec est, hic huius frater est, haec autem illius soror, ~
haec mihi nubet: tu huic argentum redde. hoc iudicium meum est.
Ther. Tu autem in nervo iam iacebis, nisi mi argentum redditur.

now then, so that you can know, pimp, my opinion: 715
this woman is free, this man is her brother, and this woman is his sister, ~
this woman will wed me: you return the silver to this man. this is my judgment.
Ther. But you will already be lying in the stocks, unless the silver is returned to me.

Capp. Hercle istam rem iudicasti perfidiose, Phaedrome.
et tibi oberit et te, miles, di deaeque perduint. 720

Capp. By Hercules, you have judged that matter perfidiously, Phaedromus.
And it will be to your detriment—and may the gods and goddesses destroy you, soldier. 720

tu me sequere. Ther. Quo sequar te? Capp. Ad trapezitam meum
ad praetorem. nam inde rem solvo omnibus quibus debeo.

You follow me. Ther. Where am I to follow you? Capp. To my banker, to the praetor.
For from there I discharge the debt to all to whom I owe.

Ther. Ego te in nervom, haud ad praetorem hinc rapiam, ni argentum refers.
Capp. Ego te vehementer perire cupio, ne tu [me] nescias.
Ther. Itane vero?

Ther. I will drag you to the stocks, not to the praetor, unless you bring back the silver.
Capp. I vehemently desire you to perish, so that you may not be ignorant of me.
Ther. Is it so, indeed?

Capp. Ita hercle vero. Ther. Novi ego hos pugnos 725
meos.
Capp. Quid tum?

Capp. Yes, by Hercules, indeed. Ther. I know these fists 725
my own.
Capp. What then?

Ther. Quid tum, rogitas? hisce ego, si tu me irritaveris,
placidum te hodie reddam. Capp. Age ergo, recipe actutum.

Ther. What then, you ask? With these here I, if you irritate me,
I will render you placid today. Capp. Come then, take it forthwith.

Ther. Licet.
Phaed. Tu, miles, apud me cenabis. hodie fient nuptiae.

Ther. All right.
Phaed. You, soldier, will dine at my place. today the nuptials will take place.

Ther. Quae res bene vortat mi et vobis. spectatores, plaudite.

Ther. May this matter turn out well for me and for you. spectators, applaud.