Plautus: Mercator

CHARINVS ADVLESCENS
ACANTHIO SERVVS
DEMIPHO SENEX
LYSIMACHVS SENEX
SERVVS
EVTYCHVS ADVLESCENS
PASICOMPSA MERETRIX
DORIPPA MATRONA
SYRA ANVS
COCVS

CHARINUS YOUNG MAN
ACANTHIO SLAVE
DEMIPHO OLD MAN
LYSIMACHUS OLD MAN
SLAVE
EUTYCHUS YOUNG MAN
PASICOMPSA COURTESAN
DORIPPA MATRON
SYRA OLD WOMAN
COOK

ARGVMENTVM I

ARGUMENT 1

Missus mercatum ab suo adulescens patre
Emit atque adportat scita forma mulierem.
Requirit quae sit, postquam eam vidit, senex:
Confingit servos emptam matri pedisequam.
Amat senex hanc, ac se simulans vendere
Tradit vicino; eum putat uxor sibi
Obduxe scortum.

MA young man, sent to market by his father,
Ebuys and brings a woman of exquisite form.
Rafter he saw her, the old man inquires who she is:
Cthe slave concocts that she was bought as a pedisequa (footmaid) for the mother.
Athe old man loves her, and, pretending to sell himself,
The hands her over to a neighbor; his wife thinks that he
Ohas brought in a whore for himself.

tum Charinum ex fuga
Retrahit sodalis, postquam amicam invenit.

then Charinus from flight
Recalled by his comrade, after he found his girlfriend.

ARGVMENTVM II

ARGUMENT 2

Mercatum asotum filium extrudit pater.
is peregre missus redimit ancillam hospitis
amore captus, advehit. nave exilit,
pater advolat, vix visam ancillam deperit.

The father drives forth to market his spendthrift son.
He, sent abroad, redeems the host’s maidservant, seized by love, and conveys her along.
he leaps from the ship,
the father flies in, and, the maidservant scarcely seen, he perishes for love of her.

cuius sit percontatur; servos pedisequam
ab adulescente matri ait emptam ipsius.
senex, sibi prospiciens, ut amico suo
veniret natum orabat, natus ut suo:
hic filium subdiderat vicini, pater
vicinum; praemercatur ancillam senex.
eam domi deprehensam coniunx illius
vicini scortum insimulat, protelat virum.

He inquires whose she is; the servant says that the pedisequa has been bought by the adolescent for his own mother.
The old man, looking out for himself, begs that the son come to his friend, and the son that he come to his own:
this one had substituted the neighbor’s son, the father the neighbor; the old man pre-purchases the maidservant.
She, caught at home, the wife of that neighbor accuses as a harlot, and she puts off her husband.

mercator expes patria fugere destinat,
prohibetur a sodale, qui patrem illius
orat cum suo patre, nato ut cederet.~

the merchant, without hope, resolves to flee his fatherland,
he is prohibited by a companion, who begs that man’s father
together with his own father, to cede to the son.~

ACTVS I

ACT 1

I.i
CHARINVS Duas res simul nunc agere decretumst mihi:
et argumentum et meos amores eloquar.
non ego item facio ut alios in comoediis
<vi> vidi amoris facere, qui aut nocti aut die
aut soli aut lunae miserias narrant suas: 5
quos pol ego credo humanas querimonias
non tanti facere, quid velint quid non velint;
vobis narrabo potius meas nunc miserias.
graece haec vocatur Emporos Philemonis,
eadem Latine Mercator Macci Titi. 10
pater ad mercatum hinc me meus misit Rhodum;
biennium iam factum est, postquam abii domo.

1.1
CHARINUS I have decided now to do two things at once:
both the argument and my loves I will set forth.
not do I in the same way as I have seen others in comedies
<vi> do for love, who either to Night or to Day
or to the Sun or to the Moon narrate their miseries: 5
whom, by Pollux, I believe do not reckon human complaints
worth so much, what they wish and what they do not wish;
to you I will rather tell my miseries now.
in Greek this is called Emporos of Philemon,
the same in Latin, Mercator of Titus Maccius. 10
my father sent me hence to market, to Rhodes;
a biennium has now passed since I departed from home.

ibi amare occepi forma eximia mulierem.
sed ea ut sim implicitus dicam, si operaest auribus
atque advortendum ad animum adest benignitas. 15
et hoc parum hercle more amatorum institi:
~per mea per conatus sum uos sumque inde exilico.
nam amorem haec cuncta vitia sectari solent,
cura aegritudo nimiaque elegantia,
[haec non modo illum qui amat, sed quemque attigit 20
magno atque solido multat infortunio,
nec pol profecto quisquam sine grandi malo
praequam res patitur studuit elegantiae.

there I began to love a woman of exceptional form.
but that I may tell how I came to be entangled with her, if there is time for your ears,
and your kindness is present for turning your mind. 15
and in this, by Hercules, I pressed the matter too little after the custom of lovers:
~by my—by my— I strove, and straightway I leapt out from there.
for love all these vices are wont to follow,
care, sickness, and excessive elegance,
[these things not only him who loves, but whomever they have touched 20
they punish with great and solid misfortune,
nor, by Pollux, indeed has anyone without great harm
pursued elegance before his means allow.

sed amori accedunt etiam haec, quae dixi minus:
insomnia, aerumna, error, terror et fuga,           25
ineptia stultitiaque adeo et temeritas,
incogitantia excors, immodestia,
petulantia et cupiditas, malevolentia,
inertia, aviditas, desidia, iniuria,
inopia, contumelia et dispendium,]                30
multiloquium: parumloquium hoc ideo fit quia,
quae nihil attingunt ad rem nec sunt usui,
tam amator profert saepe advorso tempore;
hoc pauciloquium rursum idcirco praedico,
quia nullus umquam amator adeost callide          35
facundus, quae in rem sint suam ut possit loqui.
nunc vos mi irasci ob multiloquium non decet:
eodem quo amorem Venus mi hoc legavit die.
illuc revorti certumst, conata eloquar.

but to love there also accede these things, which I mentioned less:
insomnia, affliction, error, terror, and flight,          25
ineptitude and stupidity, and even temerity,
incogitancy, witlessness, immodesty,
petulance and cupidity, malevolence,
inertia, avidity, sloth, injury,
indigence, contumely, and expense,]                30
multiloquence: pauciloquence comes about for this reason, because
things which touch nothing to the matter nor are of use
a lover so often brings forth at an adverse time;
this pauciloquy again therefore I proclaim,
because no lover ever is so shrewdly          35
eloquent as to be able to speak what is to his own interest.
now it is not fitting for you to be angry with me on account of multiloquence:
on the same day on which Venus bequeathed love to me, she bequeathed this to me.
to that point it is resolved I return; I will relate my attempts.

principio <ut ex> ephebis aetate exii                 40
atque animus studio amotus puerilist meus,
amare valide coepi hinc meretricem: ilico
res exulatum ad illam clam abibat patris.
leno importunus, dominus eius mulieris,
vi summa ut quicque poterat rapiebat domum.    45
obiurigare pater haec noctes et dies,
perfidiam, iniustitiam lenonum expromere;
lacerari valide suam rem, illius augerier.
summo haec clamore; interdum mussans conloqui:
abnuere, negitare adeo me natum suom.       50
conclamitare tota urbe et praedicere,
omnes tenerent mutuitanti credere.

to begin with, as I went out from the ephebic age 40
and my spirit was removed from boyish zeal,
I began from then to love a courtesan vehemently: straightway
my father’s property would go off into exile to her, secretly. The importunate pimp,
the master of that woman, with the utmost force would snatch home whatever he could.
my father would scold these things nights and days,
bring out the perfidy and injustice of pimps;
that his estate was being thoroughly lacerated, hers being augmented.
with the highest clamor; sometimes muttering in conversation:
to refuse, to deny even that I was his own son.
to cry aloud through the whole city and to proclaim
that all should refrain from giving credit to a borrower.

amorem multos inlexe in dispendium:
intemperantem, non modestum, iniurium
trahere, exhaurire me quod quirem ab se domo;      55
ratione pessuma a me ea quae ipsus optuma
omnis labores invenisset perferens,
in amoribus diffunditari ac didier.
convicium tot me annos iam se pascere;
quod nisi puderet, ne luberet vivere.               60
sese extemplo ex ephebis postquam excesserit,
non, ut ego, amori neque desidiae in otio
operam dedisse, neque potestatem sibi
fuisse; adeo arte cohibitum esse <se> a patre:
multo opere immundo rustico se exercitum,        65
neque nisi quinto anno quoque ~positum visere
urbem, atque extemplo inde, ut spectavisset peplum,
rus rusum confestim exigi solitum a patre.
ibi multo primum sese familiarium
laboravisse, quom haec pater sibi diceret:           70
'tibi aras, tibi occas, tibi seris, tibi idem metis,
tibi denique iste pariet laetitiam labos.'
postquam recesset vita patrio corpore,
agrum se vendidisse atque ea pecunia
navem, metretas quae trecentas tolleret,          75
parasse atque ea se mercis mercatum undique,
adeo dum, quae tum haberet, peperisset bona;
me idem decere, si ut deceret me forem.

that Love has lured many into loss:
intemperate, not modest, injurious,
to drag, to exhaust from his house whatever I could;      55
by the worst reckoning, those things which he himself, enduring all labors,
had obtained as very best,
to be diffused and scattered in love-affairs.
that he has now for so many years been feeding himself on wrangling;
that, if shame did not restrain him, he would not care to live.               60
that immediately after he had gone out of the ephebes,
he had not, as I, devoted effort to Love nor to idleness in leisure,
nor had he had the opportunity; so strictly had he been confined <se> by his father:
he was exercised with much unclean rustic work,        65
and not except every fifth year ~positum to visit
the city, and immediately from there, as soon as he had looked at the peplos,
he used at once to be driven back to the countryside by his father.
there at first he had labored much among the household-servants,
when his father would say to him these things:           70
'for yourself you plow, for yourself you hoe, for yourself you sow, for yourself likewise you reap,
for yourself, in the end, that labor will bring forth joy.'
after life had withdrawn from his father's body,
he sold the field and with that money got a ship, which could carry 300 measures,          75
and with it he went to trade for wares from everywhere,
until he had thereby begotten the goods which he then possessed;
that the same was fitting for me, if I would be as it would befit me.

ego me ubi invisum meo patri esse intellego     79-80
atque odio me esse quoi placere aequom fuit,      81
amens amansque ut animum offirmo meum,
dico esse iturum me mercatum, si velit:
amorem missum facere me, dum illi obsequar.
agit gratias mi atque ingenium adlaudat meum;        85
sed mea promissa non neglexit persequi.
aedificat navem cercurum et mercis emit,
parata navi imponit, praeterea mihi
talentum argenti ipsus sua adnumerat manu;
servom una mittit, qui olim puero parvolo           90
mihi paedagogus fuerat, quasi uti mihi foret
custos.

When I perceive that I am odious to my father     79-80
and that I am hateful to him whom it was fair I should please,      81
mad and in love, I brace my mind,
I say I will go on a trading voyage, if he wishes:
that I will dismiss my love, so long as I comply with him.
he gives thanks to me and applauds my ingenium; he praises my nature;        85
but he did not neglect to follow up my promises.
he builds a cercurus-ship and buys merchandise,
he loads it on the made-ready ship; besides, to me
he himself counts out with his own hand a talent of silver;
he sends along a slave, who once, when I was a very small boy,           90
had been my paedagogue, as though he would be
a guardian for me.

his sic confectis navem solvimus.
Rhodum venimus, ubi quas merces vexeram
omnis ut volui vendidi ex sententia.
lucrum ingens facio praeterquam mihi meus pater 95
dedit aestimatas merces: ita peculium
conficio grande.

with these things thus completed, we set sail.
we came to Rhodes, where the merchandise which I had conveyed
I sold all as I wished, to my satisfaction.
I make immense lucre, over and above what my father 95
had given me, merchandise appraised: thus I make up
a large peculium.

sed dum in portu illi ambulo,
hospes me quidam adgnovit, ad cenam vocat.
venio, decumbo acceptus hilare atque ampliter.
discubitum noctu ut imus, ecce ad me advenit 100
mulier, qua mulier alia nullast pulchrior;
ea nocte mecum illa hospitis iussu fuit.

but while I am walking there in the harbor,
a certain host recognizes me, invites me to dinner.
I come, I recline, received cheerfully and amply.
as at night we go to bed, behold there comes to me 100
a woman, than whom no other woman is more beautiful;
that night she was with me at the host’s bidding.

vosmet videte quam mihi valde placuerit:
postridie hospitem adeo, oro ut vendat mihi,
dico eius pro meritis gratum me et munem fore. 105
quid verbis opus est? emi, atque advexi heri.
eam me advexisse nolo resciscat pater.

you yourselves see how very much she has pleased me:
the next day I go to the host, I beg that he sell her to me,
I say that, for her merits, I shall be grateful and generous. 105
what need is there of words? I bought, and brought her yesterday.
let not my father find out that I have brought her.

modo eam reliqui ad portum in navi et servolum.
sed quid currentem servom a portu conspicor,
quem navi abire vetui? timeo quid siet. 110

just now I left her at the port on the ship, and the slave-boy.
but why do I espy the slave running from the port,
whom I forbade to leave the ship? I fear what it may be. 110

I.ii
ACANTHIO Ex summis opibus viribusque usque experire, nitere,
erus ut minor opera tua servetur: agedum, Acanthio,
abige abs te lassitudinem, cave pigritiae praeverteris.
simul enicat suspiritus (vix suffero hercle anhelitum),
simul autem plenis semitis qui adversum eunt: aspellito, 115
detrude, deturba in viam. haec disciplina hic pessumast:
currenti properanti haud quisquam dignum habet decedere.

1.2
ACANTHIO From your highest resources and strengths, keep trying all the way, strive,
so that the junior master may be preserved by your service: come now, Acanthio,
drive away weariness from yourself, beware you are outstripped by sloth.
as soon as a suspiration forces its way out (by Hercules, I scarcely endure the anhelation),
and likewise those who go against you on the full sidewalks: expel them, 115
detrude them, deturb them into the road. This discipline here is ruined:
to one running, hastening, no one deems it worthy to step aside.

ita tres simitu res agendae sunt, quando unam occeperis:
et currendum et pugnandum et autem iurigandum est in via.
CHAR. Quid illuc est quod ille tam expedite exquirit cursuram sibi? 120
curaest, negoti quid sit aut quid nuntiet. ACAN. Nugas ago.

thus three things at once must be managed, when you have undertaken one:
both there must be running and fighting and moreover quarrelling on the road.
CHAR. What is that, that he so expeditiously seeks out a runner
for himself? 120
there’s concern, what the business is or what he brings word of. ACAN. I trifle.

quam restito, tam maxime res in periclo vortitur.
CHAR. Mali nescio quid nuntiat. ACAN. Genua hunc cursorem deserunt;
perii, seditionem facit lien, occupat praecordia,
perii, animam nequeo vertere, nimis nihili tibicen siem. 125
[CHAR. At tu edepol sume laciniam atque absterge sudorem tibi.]
numquam edepol omnes balineae mi hanc lassitudinem eximent.

the more I stand still, the more the matter is turned into peril.
CHAR. He announces I know not what of evil. ACAN. The knees desert this runner;
I’m done for, the spleen makes sedition, it seizes the precordia,
I’m done for, I cannot turn my breath, I’d be an exceedingly worthless piper. 125
[CHAR. But, by Pollux, take your hem and wipe off your sweat.]
Never, by Pollux, will all the baths take this weariness from me.

domin an foris dicam esse erum Charinum? CHAR. Ego animi pendeo.
quid illud sit negoti lubet scire, ex hoc metu ut eximar.

Shall I say that master Charinus is at home or outside? CHAR. I am in suspense.
I want to know what that business is, that I may be exempted from this fear.

ACAN. At etiam asto? at etiam cesso foribus facere hisce assulas? 130
aperite aliquis. ubi Charinus est erus?

ACAN. What, am I even still standing? And am I even delaying to make these doors into slats? 130
Open up, someone. Where is master Charinus?

domin est an foris?
num quisquam adire ad ostium dignum arbitratur? CHAR. Ecce me,
Acanthio, quem quaeris.

Is he at home or outside?
Does anyone consider it worthy to come up to the door? CHAR. Behold me,
Acanthio, whom you seek.

ACAN. Nusquamst disciplina ignavior.
CHAR. Quae te malae res agitant? ACAN. Multae, ere, te atque me.
CHAR. Quid est negoti?

ACAN. Nowhere is discipline more slothful.
CHAR. What evil things agitate you? ACAN. Many, master, you and me.
CHAR. What is the business?

ACAN. Periimus. 135
CHAR. Principium <id> inimicis dato.
ACAN. At tibi sortito id optigit.
CHAR. Loquere id negoti quidquid est.

ACAN. We are done for. 135
CHAR. Give that beginning to the enemies.
ACAN. But by allotment that befell you.
CHAR. Speak the business, whatever it is.

ACAN. Placide, volo adquiescere.
tua causa rupi ramites, iam dudum sputo sanguinem.
CHAR. Resinam ex melle Aegyptiam vorato, salvom feceris.

ACAN. Placidly, I want to acquiesce.
for your sake I broke branches, for a long time now I have been spitting blood.
CHAR. Devour Egyptian resin with honey; you will make yourself sound.

ACAN. At edepol tu calidam picem bibito, aegritudo abscesserit. 140
CHAR. Hominem ego iracundiorem quam te novi neminem.
ACAN. At ego maledicentiorem quam te novi neminem.
CHAR. Sin saluti quod tibi esse censeo, id consuadeo?

ACAN. But, by Pollux, do you drink hot pitch; the sickness will have abscessed. 140
CHAR. I know no man more irascible than you.
ACAN. But I know no man more foul-mouthed than you.
CHAR. Am I to recommend that which I consider to be salutary for you?

ACAN. Apage istiusmodi salutem, <cum> cruciatu quae advenit.
CHAR. Dic mihi, an boni quid usquamst, quod quisquam uti possiet 145
sine malo omni, aut ne laborem capias cum illo uti voles?
ACAN. Nescio ego istaec: philosophari numquam didici neque scio.

ACAN. Away with that sort of health, which comes <with> torment.
CHAR. Tell me, is there any good anywhere that anyone can use 145
without any evil at all, or that you not take on labor when you will wish to use it?
ACAN. I do not know those matters: I never learned to philosophize nor do I know how.

ego bonum, malum quo accedit, mihi dari haud desidero.
CH. Cedo tuam mihi dexteram, agedum, Acanthio. AC. Em dabitur, tene.

I do not at all desire that a good, to which evil comes, be given to me.
CH. Give me your right hand, come on, Acanthio. AC. Here—it will be given; take it.

CHAR. Vin tu te mihi obsequentem esse an nevis? ACAN. Opera licet 150
experiri, qui me rupi causa currendo tua,
ut quae scirem scire actutum tibi liceret. CHAR. Liberum
caput tibi faciam <cis> paucos mensis.

CHAR. Do you want to be obedient to me, or do you not? ACAN. You may test it by deeds, 150
since I burst myself by running on your account,
so that what I knew it might be permitted for you to know at once. CHAR. I will make you a free man <cis> within a few months.

ACAN. Palpo percutis.
CHAR. Egon ausim tibi usquam quicquam facinus falsum proloqui? 154-155
quin iam prius quam sum elocutus, scis si mentiri volo. AC. Ah, 156
lassitudinem hercle verba tua mihi addunt, enicas.

ACAN. You’re flattering me.
CHAR. Would I dare anywhere to utter to you any false deed? 154-155
Why, even before I have spoken out, you know if I want to lie. AC. Ah, 156
by Hercules, your words add weariness to me—you wear me out.

CH. Sicine mi obsequens es? AC. Quid vis faciam? CH. Tun? id quod volo.

CH. So then, are you so compliant to me? AC. What do you want me to do? CH. You? That which I want.

AC. Quid <id> est igitur quod vis? CH. Dicam. AC. Dice.

AC. What is <it>, then, that you want? CH. I will say. AC. Say.

CH. At enim
      placide volo.
ACAN. Dormientis spectatores metuis ne ex somno excites?            160
CHAR. Vae tibi. ACAN. Tibi equidem a portu adporto hoc— CHAR. Quid
     fers?

CH. But indeed
      I want it placidly.
ACAN. Do you fear lest you rouse the sleeping spectators from sleep?            160
CHAR. Woe to you. ACAN. To you indeed from the harbor I bring this— CHAR. What
     do you bring?

dic mihi.
ACAN. Vim metum, cruciatum curam, iurgiumque atque inopiam.
CHAR. Perii, tu quidem thensaurum huc mi adportavisti mali.

tell me.
ACAN. Violence, fear, torment, care, and quarrel, and want.
CHAR. I am ruined; indeed you have imported here to me a treasure of evil.

nullus sum. AC. Immo es— CH. Scio iam, miserum dices tu. AC. Dixi ego tacens.
CHAR. Quid istuc est mali?

I am nothing. AC. On the contrary, you are— CH. I know already, you will say
"wretched." AC. I said it in silence.
CHAR. What ill is that?

ACAN. Ne rogites, maxumum infortunium est. 165
CHAR. Obsecro, dissolve iam me; nimis diu animi pendeo.
ACAN. Placide, multa exquirere etiam prius volo quam vapulem.
CHAR. Hercle vero vapulabis, nisi iam loquere aut hinc abis.

ACAN. Do not ask; it is the maximum misfortune. 165
CHAR. I beg, dissolve me now; I have hung in suspense too long.
ACAN. Placidly; I also want to inquire into many things before I get a beating.
CHAR. By Hercules, indeed you will be thrashed, unless you speak now or go away from here.

ACAN. Hoc sis vide, ut palpatur. nullust, quando occepit, blandior.
CHAR. Obsecro hercle oroque ut istuc quid sit actutum indices, 170
quandoquidem mihi supplicandum servolo video meo.

ACAN. Please see this, how he is being caressed. There is no one, once he has commenced, more blandishing.
CHAR. I beseech, by Hercules, and I pray that you indicate forthwith what that is, 170
since I see that I must supplicate my little slave.

AC. Tandem indignus videor? CHAR. Immo dignus. AC. Equidem credidi.

AC. So then, do I seem unworthy? CHAR. Nay, worthy. AC. Indeed, I believed it.

CHAR. Obsecro, num navis periit? ACAN. Salvast navis, ne time.
CH. Quid alia armamenta?

CHAR. I beg, has the ship perished? ACAN. The ship is safe; do not fear.
CH. What of the other armament?

AC. Salva et sana sunt. CH. Quin tu expedis
quid siet quod me per urbem currens quaerebas modo. 175
ACAN. Tu quidem ex ore orationem mi eripis. CHAR. Taceo.

AC. They are safe and sound. CH.
Why don’t you explain
what it is for which, running through the city, you were just now seeking me. 175
ACAN. You indeed snatch the speech from my mouth. CHAR. I am silent.

ACAN. Tace.
credo, si boni quid ad te nuntiem, instes acriter,
qui nunc, quom malum audiendumst, flagitas me ut eloquar.
CHAR. Obsecro hercle te, istuc ut tu mihi malum facias palam.

ACAN. Be silent.
I believe, if I were to announce anything good to you, you would press me sharply,
you who now, when an evil is to be heard, demand that I speak out.
CHAR. I beseech you, by Hercules, to make that evil plain to me.

AC. Eloquar, quandoquidem me oras. tuos pater— CH. Quid meus pater? 180
ACAN. Tuam amicam— CHAR. Quid eam? ACAN. Vidit.

AC. I will speak, since you urge me. Your father— CH. What of my father? 180
ACAN. Your girlfriend— CHAR. What about her? ACAN. He has seen her.

CHAR. Vidit? vae
misero mihi.
[hoc quod te rogo responde.

CHAR.
He saw? woe
to wretched me.
[respond to this which I ask you.

ACAN. Quin tu, si quid vis, roga.]
CH. Qui potuit videre? AC. Oculis. CH. Quo pacto?

ACAN. Why don’t you, if you want anything, ask.]
CH. How could he see? AC. With his eyes. CH. In what fashion?

AC. Hiantibus.
CHAR. In hinc dierectus? nugare in re capitali mea.

AC. With gaping [eyes].
CHAR. At me directed? you trifle in my capital case.

ACAN. Qui, malum, ego nugor, si tibi quod me rogas respondeo? 185
CHAR. Certen vidit? ACAN. Tam hercle certe quam ego te aut tu me vides.
CHAR. Vbi eam vidit?

ACAN. How, the devil, am I trifling if I answer you what you ask me? 185
CHAR. Surely he saw? ACAN. Just as surely, by Hercules, as I see you and you see me.
CHAR. Where did he see her?

ACAN. Intus intra navem, ut prope astitit;
et cum ea confabulatust. CHAR. Perdidisti me, pater.
eho tu, eho tu, quin cavisti ne eam videret, verbero?

ACAN. Inside the ship, as he stood
near;
and he confabulated with her. CHAR. You have ruined me, father.
hey you, hey you, why didn’t you take care that he not see her, you whipping-post?

quin, sceleste, abstrudebas, ne eam conspiceret pater? 190
ACAN. Quia negotiosi eramus nos nostris negotiis:
armamentis complicandis [et] componendis studuimus.
dum haec aguntur, lembo advehitur tuos pater pauxillulo,
neque quisquam hominem conspicatust, donec in navem subit.
CHAR. Nequiquam, mare, subterfugi a tuis tempestatibus: 195
equidem me iam censebam esse in terra atque in tuto loco,
verum video med ad saxa ferri saevis fluctibus.

why, you wicked man, did you not shove him back, so that father might not catch sight of her? 190
ACAN. Because we were busy with our own business:
we were intent on folding up and arranging the tackle. While these things are being done, your father is conveyed in a very little skiff,
and no one had caught sight of the man until he comes up into the ship.
CHAR. In vain, O sea, have I escaped from your tempests: 195
indeed I already judged myself to be on land and in a safe place,
but I see that I am being borne to the rocks by savage billows.

loquere porro, quid sit actum. ACAN. Postquam aspexit mulierem,
rogitare occepit cuia esset. CHAR. Quid respondit?

Speak on further, what has been done. ACAN. After he caught sight of the woman,
he began to inquire whose she was. CHAR. What did he answer?

ACAN. Ilico 199-200
occucurri atque interpello, matri te ancillam tuae 201
emisse illam. CHAR. Visun est tibi credere id? ACAN. Etiam rogas?
sed scelestus subigitare occepit.

ACAN. Immediately 199-200
I ran up and interrupt, that you had bought that maidservant for your mother 201
that you had purchased her. CHAR. Did it seem to you credible? ACAN. Do you even ask?
but the scoundrel began to press her.

CHAR. Illamne, obsecro?
ACAN. Mirum quin me subigitaret. CHAR. Edepol cor miserum meum,
quod guttatim contabescit, quasi in aquam indideris salem. 205
perii.

CHAR. Her, I beseech?
ACAN. No wonder he was trying to force me. CHAR. By Pollux, my wretched heart,
which is melting away drop by drop, as if you had put salt into water. 205
I am undone.

ACAN. Em istuc unum verbum dixisti verissimum.
stultitia istaec est. CHAR. Quid faciam?

ACAN. There— that one word you said is most true.
this is stupidity. CHAR. What am I to do?

credo, non credet pater,
si illam matri meae <me> emisse dicam; post autem mihi
scelus videtur, me parenti proloqui mendacium.
neque ille credet, neque credibile est forma eximia mulierem, 210
eam me emisse ancillam matri. ACAN. Non taces, stultissime?

I think my father will not believe it,
if I say that I have bought her for my mother; afterwards, however, to me
it seems a crime to utter a lie to my parent.
nor will he believe it, nor is it credible—a woman of exceptional form— 210
that I bought her as a handmaid for my mother. ACAN. Won’t you be silent, most foolish one?

credet hercle, nam credebat iam mihi. CHAR. Metuo miser,
ne patrem prehendat, ut sit gesta res, suspicio.
hoc quod te rogo responde <quaeso>. ACAN. Quaeso quid rogas?

He will believe, by Hercules, for he already believed me. CHAR. I fear, poor wretch,
lest suspicion seize my father that the affair has been done.
answer this which I ask you, <please>. ACAN. Please, what do you ask?

CHAR. Num esse amicam suspicari visus est? ACAN. Non visus est. 215
quin quicque ut dicebam mihi credebat. CHAR. Verum, ut tibi quidem
visus est.

CHAR. Did he seem to suspect her to be a sweetheart? ACAN. He did not seem so. 215
Nay rather, whatever I was saying, he believed me. CHAR. True, as he seemed to you,
at least.

ACAN. Non, sed credebat. CHAR. Vae mihi misero, nullus sum.
sed quid ego hic in lamentando pereo, ad navem non eo?
sequere.

ACAN. No, but he believed. CHAR. Woe to me, a wretch, I am nothing.
But why do I waste away here in lamenting, do I not go to the ship?
follow.

ACAN. Si istac ibis, commodum obviam venies patri;
postea aspiciet te timidum esse atque exanimatum: ilico 220
retinebit, rogitabit unde illam emeris, quanti emeris:
timidum temptabit te. CHAR. Hac ibo potius. iam censes patrem
abiisse a portu? ACAN. Quin ea ego huc praecucurri gratia,
ne te opprimeret imprudentem atque electaret.

ACAN. If you go that way, you’ll conveniently come face-to-face with your father;
afterward he’ll see that you are timid and panic-struck, out of breath: right away 220
he’ll detain you, he’ll keep asking from where you bought her, for how much you bought her:
he’ll try you while you’re timid. CHAR. I’ll go this way rather. Do you reckon father
has already gone away from the port? ACAN. Why, for that very reason I ran on ahead here,
lest he catch you unawares and cross-examine you.

CHAR. Optime.—

CHAR. Excellent.—

ACTVS II

ACT 2

II.i
DEMIPHO Miris modis di ludos faciunt hominibus 225
mirisque exemplis somnia in somnis danunt.
velut ego nocte hac quae praeteriit proxuma
in somnis egi satis et fui homo exercitus.
mercari visus mihi sum formosam capram;
ei ne noceret quam domi ante habui capram 230
neu discordarent, si ambae in uno essent loco,
posterius quam mercatus fueram, visus sum
in custodelam simiae concredere.

2.1
DEMIPHO In marvelous modes the gods make sport with men 225
and with marvelous examples they give dreams in dreams.
just as I, this most recent night which has passed,
in dreams I did enough and was a man much exercised.
I seemed to myself to buy a beautiful she-goat;
so that she might not harm the she-goat which I had at home before, 230
nor be at discord, if both were in one place,
after I had bought the latter, I seemed
to entrust her into the guardianship of a monkey.

ea simia adeo post haud multo ad me venit,
male mihi precatur et facit convicium: 235
ait sese illius opera atque adventu caprae
flagitium et damnum fecisse haud mediocriter;
dicit capram, quam dederam servandam sibi,
suae uxoris dotem ambedisse oppido.
mi illud videri mirum, ut una illaec capra 240
uxoris simiai dotem ambederit.
instare factum simia, atque hoc denique
respondet, ni properem illam ab sese abducere,
ad me domum intro ad uxorem ducturum meam.

that monkey accordingly soon after came to me,
calls down evil on me and makes revilement: 235
he says that by the agency and advent of that she-goat
he had committed a flagitious disgrace and caused damage to no moderate degree;
he says the goat, which I had given to be kept by him,
had quite eaten up his wife's dowry.
it seemed a wonder to me, how that one goat 240
had eaten up the monkey’s wife’s dowry.
the monkey presses the deed, and finally
replies that, unless I hurry to lead her away from him,
he will bring her into my house to my wife.

atque oppido hercle bene velle illi visus sum, 245
ast non habere cui commendarem capram;
quo magis quid facerem cura cruciabar miser.
interea ad me haedus visust adgredirier,
infit mihi praedicare, sese ab simia
capram abduxisse, et coepit inridere me; 250
ego enim lugere atque abductam illam aegre pati.
hoc quam ad rem credam pertinere somnium,
nequeo invenire; nisi capram illam suspicor
iam me invenisse quae sit aut quid voluerit.

and downright, by Hercules, I seemed to wish him well, 245
but not to have one to whom I might commend the goat;
whereby all the more, what I should do, I, wretched, was excruciated with care.
meanwhile a kid seemed to be approaching me,
he begins to proclaim to me that he had led away the goat from the monkey,
and began to deride me; 250
for I was mourning and was bearing it ill that she had been abducted.
to what matter I should believe this dream to pertain,
I am unable to find; unless I suspect that I have now found out
who that goat is, or what she wanted.

ad portum hinc abii mane cum luci simul; 255
postquam id quod volui transegi, atque ego conspicor
navem ex Rhodo quast heri advectus filius;
conlibitumst illuc mihi nescio qui visere:
inscendo in lembum atque ad navem devehor.
atque ego illi aspicio forma eximia mulierem, 260
filius quam advexit meus matri ancillam suae.
quam ego postquam aspexi, non ita amo ut sani solent
homines, sed eodem pacto ut insani solent.

to the port from here I went away at morn together with daybreak; 255
after I accomplished that which I wished, I catch sight
of a ship from Rhodes, on which yesterday my son was conveyed;
it took my fancy somehow to go look over there:
I mount into a skiff and am borne to the ship.
and there I behold a woman of outstanding form, 260
whom my son conveyed for his mother as her handmaid.
after I looked on her, I do not love as sane men are wont
to love, but in the same fashion as madmen are wont.

amavi hercle equidem ego olim in adulescentia,
verum ad hoc exemplum numquam, ut nunc insanio. 265
unum quidem hercle iam scio, periisse me;
vosmet videte ceterum quanti siem.
nunc hoc profecto sic est: haec illast capra;
verum hercle simia illa atque haedus mihi malum
adportant, atque eos esse quos dicam hau scio. 270
sed conticiscam, nam eccum it vicinus foras.

By Hercules, indeed I too once in adolescence loved,
but never after this example, as now I am insane. 265
One thing indeed by Hercules I now know, that I have perished;
you yourselves see, for the rest, how much I am worth.
now this surely is so: this is that she-goat;
but by Hercules that monkey and the kid bring me evil,
and that they are those whom I would name I do not know. 270
But I will fall silent, for lo, here goes the neighbor out.

II.ii
LYSIMACHVS Profecto ego illunc hircum castrari volo,
ruri qui vobis exhibet negotium.
DEM. Nec omen illud mihi nec auspicium placet.
quasi hircum metuo ne uxor me castret mea. 275
[atque illius haec nunc simiae partis ferat.]
LYS. I tu hinc ad villam atque istos rastros vilico
Pisto ipsi facito coram ut tradas in manum.

II.ii
LYSIMACHUS Surely I want that he-goat to be castrated, the one out in the country who is giving you business.
DEM. Neither that omen nor that auspice pleases me. As if a he-goat, I fear lest my wife castrate me. 275
[and let her now take the part of that she-monkey.]
LYS. Go you from here to the villa, and see that you hand those rakes over into the hand of the bailiff Pisto himself, in person, before him.

uxori facito ut nunties, negotium
mihi esse in urbe, ne me exspectet; nam mihi 280
tris hodie litis iudicandas dicito.
ei, et hoc memento dicere. SERVVS Numquid amplius?

Make sure you tell my wife, that I have business
in the city, that she not wait for me; for I 280
must judge three lawsuits today, say so.
Ah, and remember to say this. SERVVS Anything further?

LYS. Tantumst. DEM. Lysimache, salve. LYS. Euge, Demipho,
salveto.

LYS. That’s enough. DEM. Lysimachus, greetings. LYS. Bravo, Demipho,
greetings.

quid agis? quid fit? DEM. Quod miserrumus.

what are you doing? what is happening? DEM. That which is most miserable.

LYS. Di melius faxint. DEM. Di hoc quidem faciunt. LYS. Quid est? 285
DEM. Dicam, si videam tibi esse operam aut otium.

LYS. May the gods do better. DEM. The gods indeed do this. LYS. What is it? 285
DEM. I will say, if I see that you have either attention or leisure.

LYS. Quamquam negotiumst, si quid vis, Demipho,
non sum occupatus umquam amico operam dare.
DEM. Benignitatem tuam mi experto praedicas.
quid tibi ego aetatis videor?

LYS. Although I have business, if you want anything, Demipho,
I am never too occupied to give service to a friend.
DEM. You proclaim your benignity—to me, who have experienced it.
what age do I seem to you?

LYS. Acherunticus, 290
senex vetus, decrepitus. DEM. Pervorse vides.
puer sum, Lysimache, septuennis.

LYS. Acherontic, 290
an old man, very old, decrepit. DEM. You see perversely.
I am a boy, Lysimachus, seven years old.

LYS. Sanun es,
qui puerum te esse dicas? DEM. Vera praedico.
LYS. Modo hercle in mentem venit, quid tu diceres:
senex quom extemplo est, iam nec sentit nec sapit, 295
aiunt solere eum rusum repuerascere.

LYS. Are you sane,
that you say yourself to be a boy? DEM. I proclaim the truth.
LYS. Just now, by Hercules, it comes to mind what you would be saying:
when a man is immediately an old man, now he neither perceives nor is sapient, 295
they say he is wont to become a boy again.

DEM. Immo bis tanto valeo quam valui prius.
LYS. Bene hercle factum, et gaudeo. DEM. Immo si scias,
oculis quoque etiam plus iam video quam prius.

DEM. Rather, I am twice as strong as I was before.
LYS. Well done, by Hercules, and I rejoice. DEM. Rather, if you knew, with my eyes too I now see more than before.

LYS. Benest. DEM. Malae rei dico. LYS. Iam istuc non benest. 300
DEM. Sed ausimne ego tibi eloqui fideliter?

LYS. It is well. DEM. I say it is for an ill affair. LYS. Now that is not well. 300
DEM. But may I dare to speak it out to you faithfully?

LYS. Audacter. DEM. Animum advorte. LYS. Fiet sedulo.

LYS. Boldly. DEM. Turn your mind. LYS. It shall be done sedulously.

DEM. Hodie ire in ludum occepi litterarium,
Lysimache. ternas scio iam. LYS. Quid ternas?

DEM. Today I have begun to go to the literary school,
Lysimachus. I already know three. LYS. What, three?

DEM. Amo.
LYS. Tun capite cano amas, senex nequissime? 305
DEM. Si canum seu istuc rutilum sive atrumst, amo.
LYS. Ludificas nunc tu me hic, opinor, Demipho.

DEM. I love.
LYS. Do you, with a gray head, love, you most good-for-nothing old man? 305
DEM. Whether it’s gray, or that reddish, or black, I love.
LYS. You’re making sport of me here now, I suppose, Demipho.

DEM. Decide collum stanti, si falsum loquor;
vel, ut scias me amare, cape cultrum ac seca
digitum vel aurem vel tu nasum vel labrum: 310
si movero me seu secari sensero,
Lysimache, auctor sum ut me amando enices.
LYS. Si umquam vidistis pictum amatorem, em illic est.
nam meo quidem animo vetulus decrepitus senex
tantidemst quasi sit signum pictum in pariete. 315
DEM. Nunc tu me, credo, castigare cogitas.

DEM. Cut off my neck as I stand, if I speak falsely;
or, so that you may know I love, take a knife and cut
a finger or an ear or your nose or lip: 310
if I move myself or perceive that I am being cut,
Lysimache, I am guarantor that by loving me you may kill me.
LYS. If ever you have seen a painted lover, there he is.
for to my mind indeed a rather old decrepit old man
is just the same as if he were a figure painted on a wall. 315
DEM. Now you, I suppose, are thinking to castigate me.

LYS. Egon te? DEM. Nihil est iam quod tu mihi suscenseas:
fecere tale ante alii spectati viri.
humanum amarest, humanum autem ignoscerest: 319-320
ne sis me obiurga, hoc non voluntas me impulit. 321
LYS. Quin non obiurgo. DEM. At ne deteriorem tamen
hoc facto ducas.

LYS. I, you? DEM. There is nothing now for which you should be angry with me: others, men of tried worth, have done such a thing before.
it is human to love; it is human, moreover, to forgive: 319-320
do not objurgate me; it was not my will that impelled me. 321
LYS. Why, I do not objurgate you. DEM. But do not, however, reckon me the worse for this deed.

LYS. Egon te? ah, ne di siverint.
D. Vide sis modo etiam. L. Visumst.

LYS. I you? Ah, may the gods not permit it.
D. Just look, please, even now. L. It has been seen.

D. Certen? LYS. Perdis me.
hic homo ex amore insanit. numquid vis?

D. Surely? LYS. You are destroying me.
this man is insane from love. do you want anything?

DEM. Vale. 325
LYS. Ad portum propero, nam ibi mihi negotium est.
DEM. Bene ambulato. LYS. Bene vale.— DEM. Bene sit tibi.

DEM. Farewell. 325
LYS. I hasten to the harbor, for there I have business.
DEM. Walk well. LYS. Fare well.— DEM. May it be well for you.

quin mihi quoque etiamst ad portum negotium.
nunc adeo ibo illuc. sed optume gnatum meum
video eccum.

why, I too have business at the port.
now indeed I will go there. but very good—I see my son, look, here he is.

opperiar hominem. hoc nunc mihi viso opust, 330
huic persuadere quo modo potis siem,
ut illam vendat neve det matri suae;
nam ei dono advexe audivi. sed praecauto opust,
ne hic illam me animum adiecisse aliqua sentiat.

I will wait for the man. This now, as it seems to me, is needful, 330
in what way I may be able to persuade this man,
that he sell that girl and not give her to his mother;
for I have heard she was brought to him as a gift. But there is need for precaution,
lest this man in any way sense that I have set my mind on her.

II.iii
CHARINVS Homo me miserior nullust aeque, opinor,     335
neque advorsa cui plura sint sempiterna;
satin quidquid est, quam rem agere occepi,
proprium nequit mihi evenire quod cupio?
ita mihi mala res aliqua obicitur,
bonum quae meum comprimit consilium.               340
miser amicam mihi paravi, animi causa, pretio ~ eripui,
ratus clam patrem <me> meum posse habere:
is rescivit et vidit, et perdidit me;
neque is cum roget quid loquar cogitatumst,
ita animi decem in pectore incerti certant.                 345
nec quid corde nunc consili capere possim
scio, tantus cum cura meost error animo,
dum servi mei perplacet mihi consilium,
dum rursum haud placet nec pater potis videtur
induci ut putet matri ancillam emptam esse illam.        350
nunc si dico ut res est atque illam mihi me
emisse indico, quem ad modum existumet me?
atque illam abstrahat, trans mare hinc venum asportet;
scio saevos quam sit, domo doctus. igitur                        354-355
hocine est amare?

II.iii
CHARINUS No man is equally as wretched as I, I think,     335
nor anyone to whom more sempiternal adversities belong;
is it really the case that, whatever it is, whatever matter I have begun to do,
what I desire cannot turn out as my own?
so some bad thing is thrown in my way,
which crushes my good counsel.               340
wretched, I procured a girlfriend for myself, for the sake of my spirit, by a price I snatched her away,
thinking I could keep her unknown to my father:
he found it out and saw, and he ruined me;
nor has it been thought out what I should say when he asks,
so ten wavering minds contend in my breast.                 345
nor do I know what plan I can now take to heart,
since my mind is in such a wandering with care,
while my slave’s plan is thoroughly pleasing to me,
while again it does not please, nor does my father seem able to be induced
to think that that girl was bought as a handmaid for my mother.        350
now if I say how the matter is and declare that I myself
bought her for myself, how will he judge me?
and he would drag her off and carry her from here across the sea to sell;
I know how savage he is, taught by experience at home. therefore                        354-355
is this to be in love?

arare mavelim, quam sic amare. 356
iam hinc olim invitum domo extrusit ab se,
mercatum ire iussit: ibi hoc malum ego inveni.
ubi voluptatem aegritudo vincat, quid ibi inest amoeni?
nequiquam abdidi, abscondidi, abstrusam habebam: 360
muscast meus pater, nil potest clam illum haberi,
nec sacrum nec tam profanum quicquam est, quin ibi ilico adsit.

I would rather plow than love thus. 356
Already long since he thrust me, unwilling, out from home, away from himself,
ordered me to go to market: there I found this evil.
where grief overcomes pleasure, what pleasant is there in it?
in vain I concealed, I hid, I kept her hidden away: 360
my father is a fly; nothing can be held secret from him,
nor is there anything so sacred nor so profane, but that he is there on the spot.

nec, qui rebus meis confidam mi ulla spes in corde certast.
DEM. Quid illuc est quod solus secum fabulatur filius?
sollicitus mihi nescio qua re videtur.

nor is there any sure hope in my heart in which I may confide concerning my affairs.
DEM. What is that, that my son is talking with himself alone?
he seems solicitous to me, I know not for what reason.

CHAR. Attatae, 365
meus pater hic quidem est quem video. ibo, adloquar. quid fit, pater?

CHAR. Alas, 365
that is indeed my father whom I see here. I will go, I will address him. What’s happening, father?

DEM. Vnde incedis, quid festinas, gnate mi? CHAR. Recte, pater.
DEM. Ita volo, sed istuc quid est, tibi quod commutatust color?
numquid tibi dolet?

DEM. From where do you come, why do you hasten, my son? CHAR. All right, father.
DEM. So I wish; but what is this—that your color is altered?
does anything hurt you?

CHAR. Nescio quid meo animost aegre, pater.
poste hac nocte non quievi satis mea ex sententia. 370
DEM. [Per mare ut vectu's, nunc oculi terram mirantur tui.
CH. Magis opinor— D. Id est profecto; verum actutum abscesserit.]
ergo edepol palles.

CHAR. I don’t know—something in my spirit is unwell, father.
after this night I did not rest enough to my own satisfaction. 370
DEM. [As you have been conveyed by sea, now your eyes marvel at the land.
CH. More, I suppose— D. That is indeed it; but straightway it will have gone off.]
therefore, by Pollux, you are pale.

si sapias, eas ac decumbas domi.
CHAR. Otium non est: mandatis rebus praevorti volo.
DEM. Cras agito, perendie agito.

If you were wise, you would go and lie down at home.
CHAR. There is no leisure: I want to give priority to the mandated affairs.
DEM. Do it tomorrow, do it the day after tomorrow.

CHAR. Saepe ex te audivi, pater: 375
rei mandatae omnis sapientis primum praevorti decet.
DEM. Age igitur; nolo advorsari tuam advorsum sententiam.
CHAR. Salvos sum, siquidem isti dicto solida et perpetuast fides.

CHAR. Often I have heard from you, father: 375
it befits every wise man first to turn to the entrusted business.
DEM. Come then; I do not wish to oppose your opinion.
CHAR. I am safe, if indeed there is solid and perpetual faith in that dictum.

DEM. Quid illuc est quod ille a me solus se in consilium sevocat?
[iam] non vereor ne illam me amare hic potuerit resciscere; 380
quippe haud etiam quicquam inepte feci, amantes ut solent.
CHAR. Res adhuc quidem hercle in tutost, nam hunc nescire sat scio
de illa amica; quod si sciret, esset alia oratio.

DEM. What is this, that he, alone, calls me aside into counsel?
[now] I do not fear that here he could have found out that I love that woman; 380
for indeed I have not done anything ineptly, as lovers are wont.
CHAR. The matter thus far, by Hercules, is safe, for I know well enough
that he does not know about that girlfriend; but if he knew, the speech would be otherwise.

D. Quin ego hunc adgredior de illa? CH. Quin ego hinc me amolior?
eo ego, ut quae mandata amicus amicis tradam.

D. Why don’t I accost him about her? CH. Why don’t I get myself away from here?
I go, so that the mandates entrusted I, as a friend, may hand over to friends.

DEM. Immo mane; 385
paucula etiam sciscitare prius volo. CHAR. Dic quid velis.
DEM. Vsquene valuisti?

DEM. No, stay; 385
I want first to ask a few things as well. CHAR. Say what you wish.
DEM. Have you been well all along?

CHAR. Perpetuo recte, dum quidem illic fui;
verum in portum huc ut sum advectus, nescio qui animus mihi dolet.
DEM. Nausea edepol factum credo; verum actutum abscesserit.
sed quid ais?

CHAR. Perpetually all right, so long indeed as I was there;
but when I was carried into port here, I don’t know what feeling pains me. DEM. Nausea, by Pollux, I believe; but it will straightway have gone off.
but what do you say?

ecquam tu advexti tuae matri ancillam e Rhodo? 390
CHAR. Advexi. DEM. Quid? ea ut videtur mulier?

did you bring any handmaid for your mother from Rhodes? 390
CHAR. I brought one. DEM. What? What sort of woman does she seem?

CH. Non edepol mala.
DEM. Vt moratast? CHAR. Nullam vidi melius mea sententia.

CH. Not, by Pollux, bad.
DEM. How is she in character? CHAR. I have seen none better, in my judgment.

D. Mihi quidem edepol visast, quom illam vidi. CH. Eho an vidisti, pater?
DEM. Vidi.

D. Indeed, by Pollux, she seemed so to me, when I saw her. CH. Hey did you see her, father?
DEM. I saw.

verum non ex usu nostrost, neque adeo placet.
CH. Qui vero? D. Quia ~non nostra formam habet dignam domo. 395
nihil opust nobis ancilla nisi quae texat, quae molat,
lignum caedat, pensum faciat, aedis verrat, vapulet,
quae habeat cottidianum familiae coctum cibum:
horunc illa nihilum quicquam facere poterit.

but it is not to our use, nor does it particularly please.
CH. How so? D. Because she does not have a form worthy of our house. 395
we have no need of a maidservant except one who weaves, who grinds,
who cuts wood, who does the assigned task, who sweeps the house, who gets beaten,
who has the quotidian cooked food for the family:
of these she will be able to do nothing at all.

CHAR. Admodum.
ea causa equidem illam emi, dono quam darem matri meae. 400
DEM. Ne duas, neve te advexisse dixeris. CHAR. Di me adiuvant.

CHAR. Quite so.
for that reason indeed I bought her, to give her as a gift to my mother. 400
DEM. Do not give two, nor say that you have brought her. CHAR. The gods help me.

401-402
DEM. Labefacto paulatim. verum quod praeterii dicere, 403
neque illa matrem satis honeste tuam sequi poterit comes,
neque sinam. CHAR. Qui vero?

401-402
DEM. I am wearing him down little by little. But what I omitted to say, 403
neither will that girl be able to follow your mother decently as a companion,
nor shall I allow it. CHAR. How so?

DEM. Quia illa forma matrem familias
flagitium sit si sequatur; quando incedat per vias,
contemplent, conspiciant omnes, nutent, nictent, sibilent,
vellicent, vocent, molesti sint; occentent ostium:
impleantur elegeorum meae fores carbonibus.
atque, ut nunc sunt maledicentes homines, uxori meae 410
mihique obiectent lenocinium facere. nam quid eost opus?

DEM. Because with that sort of looks, for a matron of the household it would be a scandal if she were to have her following; since, when she walks through the streets, everyone would contemplate, would look, would nod, would wink, would hiss, would pinch, would call, would be troublesome; they would sing at the doorway; my doors would be filled, smeared with the charcoals of elegiac poets.
and, as men are now slander-mongers, they would cast at my wife and at me the charge of lenocinium—pandering. 410
what need is there of that?

CHAR. Hercle qui tu recte dicis, et tibi adsentior.
sed quid illa nunc fiet? DEM. Recte.

CHAR. By Hercules, indeed you speak rightly, and I assent to you.
but what will become of her now? DEM. Right.

ego emero matri tuae
ancillam viraginem aliquam non malam, forma mala,
ut matrem addecet familias, aut Syram aut Aegyptiam: 415
ea molet, coquet, conficiet pensum, pinsetur flagro,
neque propter eam quicquam eveniet nostris foribus flagiti.
CHAR. Quid si igitur reddatur illi unde empta est? DEM. Minime gentium.

I will buy for your mother
a maidservant, some virago not bad, in form ugly,
as befits a materfamilias, either a Syrian or an Egyptian: 415
she shall grind, cook, complete the quota, be pounded with the scourge,
nor on account of her will anything of disgrace befall our doors.
CHAR. What if, then, she be returned to him from whom she was bought? DEM. By no means in the world.

CHAR. Dixit se redhibere, si non placeat. DEM. Nihil istoc opust:
litigari nolo ego usquam, tuam autem accusari fidem; 420
multo edepol si quid faciendumst facere damni mavolo,
quam opprobramentum aut flagitium muliebre exferri domo.
me tibi illam posse opinor luculente vendere.

CHAR. He said he would take it back, if it did not please. DEM. There is no need of that:
I do not want litigation anywhere, nor your good faith to be accused; 420
by Pollux, I would much rather, if anything must be done, take a loss,
than that an opprobrium or a womanish scandal be carried out of the house. I think I can handsomely vend her to you.

CHAR. Dum quidem hercle ne minoris vendas quam ego emi, pater. 424-425
DEM. Tace modo: senex est quidam, qui illam mandavit mihi 426
ut emerem <aut> ad istanc faciem. CHAR. At mihi quidam adulescens, pater,
mandavit ad illam faciem, ita ut illaec est, emerem sibi.
DEM. Viginti minis opinor posse me illam vendere.

CHAR. So long, by Hercules, as you don’t sell her for less than I paid, father. 424-425
DEM. Just hush: there’s a certain old man who commissioned me 426
to buy her, <or> one to that appearance. CHAR. But a certain young man, father,
commissioned me to that appearance, to buy her for himself just as she is.
DEM. I reckon I can sell her for twenty minae.

CHAR. At ego si velim, iam dantur septem et viginti minae. 430
DEM. At ego— CHAR. Quin ego, inquam— DEM. Ah, nescis quid dicturus sum,
tace.
tris minas accudere etiam possum, ut triginta sient.
CH. Quo vortisti?

CHAR. But I, if I wish, already twenty-seven minae are being offered. 430
DEM. But I— CHAR. Why, I, I say— DEM. Ah, you don’t know what I’m going to say,
be quiet.
I can even hammer out three minae besides, so that they be thirty.
CH. What have you turned it to?

D. Ad illum qui emit. CH. Vbinamst is homo gentium?
DEM. Eccillum video.

D. To that one who bought. CH. Where in the world is that man?
DEM. There he is; I see him.

iubet quinque me addere etiam nunc minas. 434-435
CHAR. Hercle illunc divi infelicent, quisquis est. DEM. Ibidem mihi 436
etiam nunc adnutat addam sex minas. CHAR. Septem mihi.

he orders me to add five minae even now. 434-435
CHAR. By Hercules, may the gods make that fellow ill-fated, whoever he is. DEM. In the same place to me 436
he is still nodding; I’ll add six minae. CHAR. Seven for me.

DEM. Numquam edepol me vincet hodie. CHAR. Commodis poscit, pater.
DEM. Nequiquam poscit: ego habeo.

DEM. By Pollux, he will never overcome me today. CHAR. He asks on fair terms, father.
DEM. He asks in vain: I have it.

CHAR. At illic pollicitust prior.
DEM. Nihili facio. CHAR. Quinquaginta poscit.

CHAR. But that fellow promised first.
DEM. I make no account of it. CHAR. He asks fifty.

DEM. Non centum datur. 440
potine ut ne licitere advorsum <mei> animi sententiam?
maximam hercle habebis praedam: ita ille est, quoi emitur, senex;
sanus non est ex amore illius. quod posces feres.

DEM. Not a hundred is given. 440
could you not bid against the sentiment of <my> mind?
you will have the very greatest prey, by Hercules: such is that old man, for whom he is being bought;
he is not sane from love of him. what you ask, you will carry off.

CHAR. Certe edepol adulescens ille, cui ego emo, efflictim perit
eius amore. DEM. Multo hercle ille magis senex, si tu scias. 445
CHAR. Numquam edepol fuit neque fiet ille senex insanior
ex amore quam ille adulescens cui ego do hanc operam, pater.
D. Quiesce, inquam.

CHAR. Certainly, by Pollux, that adolescent for whom I am buying is perishing desperately with love for her.
DEM. By Hercules, far more that old man, if you knew. 445
CHAR. Never, by Pollux, has that old man been, nor will he become, more insane from love than that adolescent to whom I give this service, father.
D. Be quiet, I say.

istanc rem ego recte videro. C. Quid ais? D. Quid est?

I will see to that matter rightly. C. What do you say? D. What is it?

C. Non ego illam mancupio accepi. D. Sed ille illam accipiet. sine.

C. I did not receive her by purchase. D. But he will receive her; leave it.

CHAR. Non potes tu lege vendere illam. DEM. Ego aliquid videro. 450
CHAR. Post autem communest illa mihi cum alio. qui scio
quid sit ei animi, venirene eam velit an non velit?

CHAR. You cannot sell her by law. DEM. I will see to it. 450
CHAR. But besides, she is in common to me with someone else. How do I know what his mind is, whether he wants her to be sold or does not want it?

DEM. Ego scio velle. CHAR. At pol ego esse credo aliquem qui non velit.
D. Quid id mea refert?

DEM. I know he wants it. CHAR. But by Pollux I believe there is someone who does not want it.
D. What does that matter to me?

C. Quia illi suam rem esse aequomst in manu.
D. Quid ais? C. Communis mihi illa est cum illo: is hic nunc non adest. 455
DEM. Prius respondes quam rogo.

C. Because it is equitable that his own affair be in his hand.
D. What do you say? C. She is shared in common to me with him: he is not present here now. 455
DEM. You answer before I ask.

CHAR. Prius tu emis quam vendo, pater.
nescio, inquam, velit ille illam necne abalienarier.
DEM. Quid?

CHAR. You buy before I sell, father.
I do not know, I say, whether he wants her to be alienated or not.
DEM. What?

illi quoidam qui mandavit tibi si emetur, tum volet,
si ego emo illi qui mandavit, tum ille nolet? nihil agis.
numquam edepol quisquam illam habebit potius quam ille quem ego volo. 460
C. Certumnest?

That certain fellow who gave you the mandate—if it is bought, then he will want it; if I buy it for the one who gave the mandate, then he will not want it? You accomplish nothing.
By Pollux, never will anyone have her rather than the one whom I wish. 460
C. Is it settled?

D. Censen certum esse? quin ad navem iam hinc eo,
ibi venibit. CHAR. Vin me tecum illo ire?

D. Do you deem it settled? Nay, I’ll go now from here to the ship,
there it will be sold. CHAR. Do you wish me to go thither with you?

DEM. Nolo. CHAR. Non places.
DEM. Meliust te, quae sunt mandatae res tibi, praevortier.

DEM. I do not wish it. CHAR. You do not please.
DEM. It is better for you to turn first to the matters that have been mandated to you.

CHAR. Tu prohibes. DEM. At me incusato: te fecisse sedulo.
ad portum ne bitas, dico iam tibi.

CHAR. You forbid it. DEM. But accuse me: say you have done it sedulously.
do not go to the harbor, I tell you now.

CHAR. Auscultabitur. 465
DEM. Ibo ad portum. ne hic resciscat, cauto opust: non ipse emam,
sed Lysimacho amico mandabo. is se ad portum dixerat
ire dudum.

CHAR. It will be listened to. 465
DEM. I will go to the port. So that he not find it out, there is need for caution: I will not buy it myself,
but I will commission my friend Lysimachus. He had said that he was going
to the port a little while ago.

me moror quom hic asto.— CHAR. Nullus sum, occidi.

I linger while I stand here.— CHAR. I am nothing, I am dead.

II.iv
CHAR. Pentheum diripuisse aiunt Bacchas: nugas maximas
fuisse credo, praeut quo pacto ego divorsus distrahor. 470
cur ego vivo? cur non morior? quid mihist in vita boni?

II.iv
CHAR. They say the Bacchants tore Pentheus to pieces: I believe it was the greatest nonsense, compared to the way I, divorced, am torn asunder. 470
why do I live? why do I not die? what is there good for me in life?

certumst, ibo ad medicum atque ibi me toxico morti dabo,
quando id mi adimitur, qua causa vitam cupio vivere.
EVTYCHVS Mane, mane obsecro, Charine. CHAR. Quis me revocat?

it is certain, I will go to the medic and there I will give myself to death by toxin,
since that is taken from me, for the sake of which I desire to live life.
EVTYCHVS Wait, wait, I beg, Charinus. CHAR. Who recalls me?

EVT.
Eutychus,
tuos amicus et sodalis, simul vicinus proxumus. 475
CHAR. Non tu scis, quantum malarum rerum sustineam. EVT. Scio;
omnia ego istaec auscultavi ab ostio, omnem rem scio.
C. Quid id est quod scis?

EVT.
Eutychus,
your friend and sodalis, and at the same time your nearest neighbor. 475
CHAR. You do not know how great a load of evil things I sustain. EVT. I know; I auscultated all those things from the doorway, I know the whole matter.
C. What is it that you know?

E. Tuos pater volt vendere— C. Omnem rem tenes.
EVT. Tuam amicam. CHAR. Nimium multum scis.

E. Your father wants to sell— C. You grasp the whole matter.
EVT. Your girlfriend. CHAR. You know far too much.

EVT. Tuis ingratiis.
CHAR. Plurimum tu scis. sed qui scis esse amicam illam meam? 480
EVT. Tute heri ipsus mihi narrasti.

EVT. Against your will.
CHAR. You know a very great deal. But how do you know that that one is my girlfriend? 480
EVT. You yourself told me yesterday.

CHAR. Satin ut oblitus fui,
tibi me narravisse? EVT. Hau mirumst factum. CHAR. Te nunc consulo.

CHAR. Have I indeed been so oblivious,
that I told you? EVT. Not at all a marvel. CHAR. I consult you now.

responde: quo leto censes me ut peream potissimum?
EVT. Non taces? cave tu istuc dixis.

Answer: by what death do you judge I should perish most of all?
EVT. Will you not be silent? beware you don’t say that.

CHAR. Quid vis me igitur dicere?
EVT. Vin patri sublinere pulchre me os tuo? CHAR. Sane volo. 485
E. Visne eam ad portum— C. Qui potius quam voles?

CHAR. What do you want me, then, to say?
EVT. Do you want to butter up my father nicely—for me—with your mouth? CHAR. Surely I do. 485
E. Do you want to bring her to the harbor— C. How else than as you wish?

E. Atque eximam
mulierem pretio? C. Qui potius quam auro expendas? E. Vnde erit?

E. And shall I buy out
the woman for a price? C. How else than with gold will you weigh it out? E. Whence will it come?

CHAR. Achillem orabo, aurum ut mihi det, Hector qui expensus fuit.
EVT. Sanun es? CHAR. Pol sanus si sim, non te medicum mi expetam.
EVT. Tanti quanti poscit, vin tanti illam emi?

CHAR. I will beg Achilles to give me gold, Hector, who was ransomed by weight.
EVT. Are you sane? CHAR. By Pollux, if I were sane, I would not seek you as my physician.
EVT. At as much as he demands, do you want me to buy her for that much?

CHAR. Auctarium 490
adicito vel mille nummum plus quam poscet. EVT. Iam tace.
sed quid ais?

CHAR. An augmentation 490
add, even a thousand coins more than she will demand. EVT. Now be silent.
but what do you say?

unde erit argentum quod des, quom poscet pater?
CHAR. Invenietur, exquiretur, aliquid fiet; enicas.
EVT. Iam istuc 'aliquid fiet' metuo.

whence will there be silver (money) for you to give, when your father demands it?
CHAR. It will be found, it will be inquired after, something will be done; you wear me out.
EVT. Now I fear that ‘something will be done.’

CHAR. Quin taces? EVT. Muto imperas.
C. Satin istuc mandatumst?

CHAR. Won’t you be quiet? EVT. You’re giving orders to a mute.
C. Is that order sufficient?

E. Potin ut aliud cures? C. Non potest. 495
EVT. Bene vale. CHAR. Non edepol possum prius quam tu ad me redieris.

E. Could you take care of something else? C. It cannot be. 495
EVT. Farewell. CHAR. By Pollux, I cannot before you have returned to me.

E. Melius sanus sis. C. Vale, vince et me serva. E. Ego fecero.

E. Be better; be well. C. Farewell, prevail, and keep me safe. E. I will do it.

domi maneto me. CHAR. Ergo actutum face cum praeda recipias.—

Stay at home for me. CHAR. So then, at once see to it that you come back with the prey.—

ACTVS III

ACT 3

III.i
LYSIMACHVS Amice amico operam dedi: vicinus quod rogavit,
hoc emi mercimonium. mea es tu, sequere sane. 500
ne plora: nimis stulte facis, oculos corrumpis tales.
quin tibi quidem quod rideas magis est, quam ut lamentere.

3.1
LYSIMACHUS Friend, I rendered service to a friend: what the neighbor asked, this merchandise I bought.
you are mine; follow, indeed. 500
do not weep: you act too foolishly; you corrupt such eyes.
nay rather, there is more for you to laugh at than to lament.

PASICOMPSA Amabo ecastor, mi senex, eloquere— LYS. Exquire quidvis.
PAS. Cur emeris me. LYS. Tene ego? ut quod imperetur facias,
item quod tu mihi si imperes, ego faciam.

PASICOMPSA Please, by Castor, my old man, speak out— LYS. Inquire whatever you wish.
PAS. Why have you bought me? LYS. You— I? So that you may do what is commanded; likewise, if you command me, I will do it.

PAS. Facere certumst 505
pro copia et sapientia quae te velle arbitrabor.
LYS. Laboriosi nil tibi quicquam operis imperabo.
PAS. Namque edepol equidem, mi senex, non didici baiolare
nec pecua ruri pascere nec pueros nutricare.

PAS. I am determined to do 505
according to my means and wisdom what I shall suppose you wish.
LYS. I will impose no laborious work upon you.
PAS. For indeed, by Pollux, my old man, I have not learned to carry burdens
nor to pasture livestock in the countryside nor to nurse children.

LYS. Bona si esse vis, bene erit tibi. PAS. Tum pol ego perii misera. 510
LYS. Qui? PAS. Quia illim unde huc advecta sum, malis bene esse solitumst.

LYS. If you wish to be good, it will be well for you. PAS. Then, by Pollux, I’m undone, miserable me. 510
LYS. How so? PAS. Because from there whence I was conveyed hither, it used to go well for the wicked.

LYS. Quasi dicas nullam mulierem bonam esse. PAS. Haud equidem dico,
nec mos meust ut praedicem quod ego omnis scire credam.
LYS. Oratio edepol pluris est huius quam quanti haec emptast.

LYS. As if you were saying that no woman is good. PAS. I by no means say so,
nor is it my custom to proclaim what I believe everyone knows.
LYS. By Pollux, the oration of this woman is worth more than the price she was bought for.

rogare hoc unum te volo. PAS. Roganti respondebo. 515
LYS. Quid ais tu? quid nomen tibi dicam esse? PAS. Pasicompsae.

I want to ask this one thing of you. PAS. I will answer the one asking. 515
LYS. What do you say? What name am I to say is yours? PAS. Pasicompsa.

LYS. Ex forma nomen inditumst. sed quid ais, Pasicompsa?
possin tu, si usus venerit, subtemen tenue nere?

LYS. From your form the name has been given. But what do you say, Pasicompsa?
could you, if need should arise, spin a slender weft?

PAS. Possum. LYS. Si tenue scis, scio te uberius posse nere.
PAS. De lanificio neminem metuo, una aetate quae sit. 520
LYS. Bonam hercle te et frugi arbitror, matura iam ~ inde aetate
quom scis facere officium tuom, mulier.

PAS. I can. LYS. If you know the fine, I know you can spin more abundantly.
PAS. In wool-working I fear no one, of whatever age she be. 520
LYS. By Hercules, I judge you good and frugal, already mature ~ in age, since you know to do your duty, woman.

PAS. Pol docta didici.
operam accusari non sinam meam. LYS. Em istaec hercle res est.

PAS. By Pollux, I have learned it well.
I shall not allow my effort to be accused. LYS. Look—by Hercules, that is the thing.

ovem tibi eccillam dabo, natam annos sexaginta,
peculiarem. PAS. Mi senex, tam vetulam? LYS. Generis graecist; 525
eam si curabis, perbonast, tondetur nimium scite.

I’ll give you that ewe there, born sixty years ago,
your peculiar (private) one. PAS. My old man, one so very old? LYS. Of Greek
breed she is; 525
if you tend her, she’s very good; she is shorn exceedingly neatly.

PAS. Honoris causa quidquid est quod dabitur gratum habebo.
LYS. Nunc, mulier, ne tu frustra sis, mea non es, ne arbitrere.
PAS. Dic igitur quaeso, quoia sum?

PAS. For honor’s sake, whatever is given I will count as welcome.
LYS. Now, woman, so that you may not be in vain, you are not mine; do not suppose it.
PAS. Tell me then, I pray, whose am I?

LYS. Tuo ero redempta es rursum;
ego te redemi, ille mecum oravit. PAS. Animus rediit, 530
si mecum servatur fides. LYS. Bono animo es, liberabit
ille te homo: ita edepol deperit, atque hodie primum vidit.

LYS. You have been redeemed back to your master again;
I redeemed you; he pleaded with me. PAS. My spirit has returned, 530
if faith is kept with me. LYS. Be of good courage, that man will liberate
you: so, by Pollux, he is perishing (with love), and today he first saw you.

PAS. Ecastor iam bienniumst, quom mecum rem coepit.
nunc, quando amicum te scio esse illius, indicabo.
LYS. Quid ais tu? iam bienniumst, quom tecum rem habet?

PAS. By Castor, it’s now a biennium since he began the affair with me.
now, since I know you are his friend, I will indicate it.
LYS. What are you saying? It’s already a biennium that he has business with you?

PAS. Certo; 535
et inter nos coniuravimus, ego cum illo et ille mecum:
ego cum viro et ille cum muliere, nisi cum illo aut ille mecum, 536a
neuter stupri causa caput limaret. LYS. Di immortales,
etiam cum uxore non cubet? PAS. Amabo, an maritust?

PAS. Certainly; 535
and we swore together between us, I with him and he with me:
I with the man and he with the woman—unless with him or he with me—, 536a
neither should file the head for the sake of debauchery. LYS. Immortal gods,
will he not even lie with his wife? PAS. Please, is he a married man?

neque est neque erit. LYS. Nolim quidem. homo hercle periuravit.

nor is he nor will he be. LYS. I would not wish it, indeed. the fellow, by Hercules, has perjured himself.

PAS. Nullum adulescentem plus amo. LYS. Puer est ille quidem, stulta. 540
nam illi quidem hau sane diust quom dentes exciderunt.
PAS. Quid, dentes?

PAS. I love no adolescent more. LYS. He is a boy indeed, you silly one. 540
for indeed it is not really long since his teeth fell out.
PAS. What, his teeth?

LYS. Nihil est. sequere sis. hunc me diem unum oravit
ut apud me praehiberem locum, ideo quia uxor rurist.—

LYS. It is nothing. Come along, please. He begged me for this one day
that I should provide a place at my house, for that reason because his wife is in the country.—

III.ii
DEMIPHO Tandem impetravi ut egomet me corrumperem:
emptast amica clam uxorem et clam filium. 545
certumst, antiqua recolam et servibo mihi.
decurso spatio breve quod vitae relicuomst
voluptate, vino et amore delectavero.
nam hanc se bene habere aetatem nimiost aequius.

3.2
DEMIPHO At last I have prevailed that I myself should corrupt myself:
a mistress has been bought in secret from my wife and in secret from my son. 545
It is settled, I shall recall the old ways and I shall serve myself.
the course run, the brief span of life that remains
I shall take my delectation in pleasure, wine, and love.
for at this time of life it is far more fitting to be in good case.

adulescens quom sis, tum quom est sanguis integer, 550
rei tuae quaerundae convenit operam dare;
demum igitur quom sis iam senex, tum in otium
te conloces, dum potes ames: id iam lucrumst
quod vivis. hoc ut dico, factis persequar.
interea tamen huc intro ad me invisam domum: 555
uxor me exspectat iam dudum esuriens domi;
iam iurgio enicabit, si intro rediero.

when you are a young man, and when the blood is unspent, 550
it is fitting to give effort to procuring your own estate;
only then therefore, when you are now an old man, then into leisure
settle yourself; love while you can: this now is lucre,
that you are alive. As I say this, I will pursue it with deeds.
meanwhile, however, in here into my detested house: 555
my wife has long been waiting for me, hungry, at home;
now she will do me in with a quarrel, if I go back inside.

verum hercle postremo, utut est, non ibo tamen,
sed hunc vicinum prius conveniam quam domum
redeam; ut mihi aedis aliquas conducat volo, 560
ubi habitet istaec mulier. atque eccum it foras.

but by Hercules, at last—however it is—I still will not go,
but I will first convene with this neighbor before I return home;
I want him to lease me some lodgings, 560
where that woman may dwell. And look, there he goes outside.

III.iii
LYSIMACHVS Adducam ego illum iam ad te, si convenero.
DEM. Me dicit. LYS. Quid ais, Demipho?

3.3
LYSIMACHUS I will bring him to you now, if I meet him.
DEM. He means me. LYS. What say you, Demipho?

DEM. Est mulier domi?
LYS. Quid censes? DEM. Quid si visam?

DEM. Is the woman at home?
LYS. What do you suppose? DEM. What if I go see her?

LYS. Quid properas? <mane.>
DEM. Quid faciam? LYS. Quod opust facto facito ut cogites. 565
DEM. Quid cogitem?

LYS. Why are you hurrying? <wait.>
DEM. What am I to do? LYS. Do what needs to be done; see to it that you think. 565
DEM. What am I to think?

equidem hercle opus hoc facto existimo,
ut illo intro eam. LYS. Itane vero, vervex? intro eas?

indeed, by Hercules, I consider this thing to need doing, that I go inside there.
LYS. Is it so, you wether? You’d go inside?

DEM. Quid aliud faciam? LYS. Prius hoc ausculta, atque ades:
prius etiamst, quod te facere ego aequom censeo.
nam nunc si illuc intro ieris, amplecti voles, 570
confabulari atque osculari.

DEM. What else should I do? LYS. First listen to this, and attend:
there is something first as well, which I deem equitable for you to do.
for now, if you go in there, you will want to embrace, 570
to confabulate and to kiss.

DEM. Tu quidem
meum animum gestas: scis quid acturus siem.
LYS. Pervorse facies. DEM. Quodne ames— LYS. Tanto minus.

DEM. You indeed carry my mind: you know what I am going to do.
LYS. You will act perversely. DEM. That you should not love— LYS. So much the less.

ieiunitatis plenus, anima foetida,
senex hircosus tu osculere mulierem? 575
utine adveniens vomitum excutias mulieri?
scio pol te amare, quom istaec praemonstras mihi.
DEM. Quid si igitur unum faciam hoc?

full of fasting, with a foetid breath,
a goatish old man—will you kiss a woman? 575
is it so that, arriving, you shake vomit out of the woman?
by Pollux, I know you are in love, since you demonstrate these things beforehand to me.
DEM. What if, then, I do this one thing?

si censes, coquom
aliquem arripiamus, prandium qui percoquat
apud te hic usque ad vesperum. LYS. Em istuc censeo. 580
nunc tu sapienter loquere atque amatorie.
DEM. Quid stamus?

if you think so, let us engage some cook,
to thoroughly cook the luncheon
here at your place until evening. LYS. There—of that I approve. 580
now speak wisely and amorously. DEM. Why are we standing?

quin ergo imus atque obsonium
curamus, pulchre ut simus? LYS. Equidem te sequor.
atque hercle invenies tu locum illi, si sapis:
nullum hercle praeter hunc diem illa apud med erit. 585
metuo ego uxorem, cras si rure redierit
ne illam hic offendat.

why then don’t we go and take care of the provisions,
so that we may be fine? LYS. Indeed I follow you.
and by Hercules you will find a place for her, if you are wise:
by Hercules, no day beyond this day shall she be at my place. 585
I fear my wife, if tomorrow she returns from the countryside,
lest she encounter her here.

DEM. Res parata est, sequere me.—

DEM. The matter is prepared, follow me.—

III.iv
CHARINVS Sumne ego homo miser, qui nusquam bene queo quiescere?
si domi sum, foris est animus, sin foris sum, animus domist.
ita mi in pectore atque in corde facit amor incendium: 590
ni ex oculis lacrumae defendant, iam ardeat credo caput.

3.4
CHARINVS Am I a miserable man, who can nowhere rest well?
If I am at home, my spirit is outside; but if I am outside, my spirit is at home.
So in my breast and in my heart Love makes a conflagration: 590
unless tears defend from my eyes, I believe my head would already be burning.

spem teneo, salutem amisi; redeat an non, nescio:
si opprimit pater quod dixit, exsulatum abiit salus;
sin sodalis quod promisit fecit, non abiit salus.
sed tamen dem si podagrosis pedibus esset Eutychus, 595
iam a portu rediisse potuit. id illi vitium maxumumst,
quod nimis tardus est advorsum mei animi sententiam.

I hold hope, I have lost safety; whether he will return or not, I do not know:
if the father enforces what he said, safety has gone into exile;
but if my comrade did what he promised, safety has not gone off.
but still, even if Eutychus had gouty feet, 595
he could already have returned from the harbor. That is his greatest fault,
that he is too slow against the judgment of my mind.

sed in est, quem currentem video? ipsus est. ibo obviam.

But who is it, whom I see running? It’s himself. I will go to meet him.

nunc, quod restat, ei disperii: voltus neutiquam huius placet;
tristis incedit (pectus ardet, haereo), quassat caput. 600
Eutyche. EVTYCHVS Eu, Charine. CHAR. Prius quam recipias anhelitum,
uno verbo eloquere: ubi ego sum?

now, as for what remains, alas, I am undone: this man’s visage pleases me by no means;
he goes along sad (my breast burns, I stick), he shakes his head. 600
Eutychus. EUTYCHUS Ah, Charinus. CHAR. Before you recover your breath,
speak in a single word: where am I?

hicine an apud mortuos?
EVT. Neque apud mortuos neque hic es. CHAR. Salvos sum, immortalitas
mihi data est: hic emit illam, pulchre os sublevit patri.
impetrabilior qui vivat nullus est.

here, or among the dead?
EVT. You are neither among the dead nor here. CHAR. I am safe, immortality
has been given to me: this man bought it; he handsomely lifted my father’s countenance.
no one alive is more easily won over by entreaty.

dice, obsecro: 605
si neque hic neque Acherunti sum, ubi sum? EVT. Nusquam gentium.
CHAR. Disperii, illaec interemit me modo oratio.

say, I beg: 605
if I am neither here nor in Acheron, where am I? EVT. Nowhere in the world.
CHAR. I am undone; that oration just now has killed me.

EVT. Odiosast oratio, cum rem agas longinquom loqui.
CHAR. Quidquid est, ad capita rerum perveni. EVT. Primum omnium:
periimus.

EVT. Long-winded speech is odious, to talk far-off when you are handling the matter.
CHAR. Whatever it is, come to the heads of the matter. EVT. First of all:
we have perished.

CHAR. Quin tu illud potius nuntias quod nescio? 610
EVT. Mulier alienata est abs te. CHAR. Eutyche, capital facis.
EVT. Qui? CHAR. Quia aequalem et sodalem, liberum civem, enicas.

CHAR. Why don’t you rather announce that thing which I do not know? 610
EVT. The woman has been alienated from you. CHAR. Eutyches, you are doing a capital deed.
EVT. How so? CHAR. Because you are killing an equal and a comrade, a free citizen.

EVT. Ne di sierint. CHAR. Demisisti gladium in iugulum: iam cadam.
EVT. Quaeso hercle, animum ne desponde.

EVT. May the gods not permit it. CHAR. You have plunged the sword into my jugular: now I shall fall.
EVT. I beg, by Hercules, do not despond.

CHAR. Nullust quem despondeam.
loquere porro aliam malam rem. cui est empta?

CHAR. There’s no one to whom I can betroth her.
speak on then, another bad thing. for whom has she been bought?

EVT. Nescio. 615
iam addicta atque abducta erat, quom ad portum venio. CHAR. Vae mihi,
montis tu quidem mali in me ardentis iam dudum iacis.
perge, excrucia, carnufex, quandoquidem occepisti semel.

EVT. I do not know. 615
she had already been adjudged and led away when I come to the port. CHAR. Woe is me,
you indeed have been hurling upon me for a long time now mountains of burning evil.
go on, excruciate me, executioner, since once you have begun.

[EVT. Non tibi istuc magis dividiaest, quam mihi hodie fuit.
C. Dic, quis emit? E. Nescio hercle.

[EVT. That isn’t more a vexation to you than it was to me today.
C. Say, who bought? E. I don’t know, by Hercules.]

C. Em istucinest operam dare 620
bonum sodalem? EVT. Quid me facere vis? CHAR. Idem quod me vides,
ut pereas.

C. Look— is this then
to give effort 620
good comrade? EVT. What do you want me to do? CHAR. The same as what
you see me [doing], that you perish.

quin percontatu's, hominis quae facies foret
qui illam emisset: eo si pacto posset indagarier
mulier? heu me miserum. EVT. Flere omitte, istuc quod nunc agis.]
EVT. Quid ego feci?

why didn’t you inquire what the man’s face would be
who had bought her?—if by that method the woman could be tracked out?
alas, wretched me. EVT. Stop weeping, that which you’re doing now.]
EVT. What have I done?

CHAR. Perdidisti me et fidem mecum tuam. 625
EVT. Di sciunt culpam meam istanc non esse ullam. CHAR. Eugepae,
deos absentis testis memoras: qui ego istuc credam tibi?
EVT. Quia tibi in manu est quod credas, ego quod dicam, id mi in manust.

CHAR. You have ruined me and, along with me,
your fidelity. 625
EVT. The gods know that that culpability is not mine at all. CHAR. Eugepae,
you cite the absent gods as witnesses: how am I to believe you in that?
EVT. Because what you are to believe is in your hand; what I will say, that is, for me,
in my hand.

CHAR. De istac re argutus es, ut par pari respondeas,
ad mandata claudus caecus mutus mancus debilis. 630
promittebas te os sublinere meo patri: egomet credidi
homini docto rem mandare, is lapidi mando maximo.
EVT. Quid ego facerem? CHAR. Quid tu faceres?

CHAR. About that matter you are sharp, so that you answer like for like,
as to mandates you are lame, blind, mute, maimed, feeble. 630
you were promising to grease my father’s mouth: I myself believed
I was entrusting the affair to a learned man; I am entrusting it to the biggest stone. EVT. What was I to do? CHAR. What would you do?

men rogas? requireres,
rogitares quis esset aut unde esset, qua prosapia,
civisne esset an peregrinus. EVT. Civem esse aibant Atticum. 635
CHAR. Vbi habitaret invenires saltem, si nomen nequis.

are you asking me? you ought to have inquired,
you should have asked who he was or whence he was, of what lineage,
whether he was a citizen or a foreigner. EVT. They said he was an Attic citizen. 635
CHAR. You would at least have found where he lived, if you couldn’t get the name.

EVT. Nemo aiebat scire. CHAR. At saltem hominis faciem exquireres.
EVT. Feci.

EVT. No one said they knew. CHAR. But at least after the man’s face you should have inquired.
EVT. I did.

CHAR. Qua forma esse aiebant <igitur>? EVT. Ego dicam tibi:
canum, varum, ventriosum, bucculentum, breviculum,
subnigris oculis, oblongis malis, pansam aliquantulum. 640
CHAR. Non hominem mihi, sed thensaurum nescio quem memoras mali.
numquid est quod dicas aliud de illo? EVT. Tantum, quod sciam.

CHAR. Of what form did they say he was, then? EVT. I will tell you:
hoary, bow‑legged, pot‑bellied, bucculent, rather short,
with somewhat dark eyes, with oblong cheeks, somewhat splay‑footed. 640
CHAR. You recount to me not a man, but some I‑know‑not‑what treasure of ill. Is there anything else you can say about him? EVT. Only so much, so far as I know.

CHAR. Edepol ne ille oblongis malis mihi dedit magnum malum.
non possum durare, certumst exulatum hinc ire me.
sed quam capiam civitatem, cogito, potissimum: 645
Megares, Eretriam, Corinthum, Chalcidem, Cretam, Cyprum,
Sicyonem, Cnidum, Zacynthum, Lesbiam, Boeotiam.
EVT. Cur istuc coeptas consilium?

CHAR. By Pollux, that fellow with the oblong cheeks gave me a great evil.
I cannot endure; it is settled that I go into exile from here.
But which city I should choose, I am pondering, preferably: 645
Megara, Eretria, Corinth, Chalcis, Crete, Cyprus,
Sicyon, Cnidus, Zacynthus, Lesbos, Boeotia.
EVT. Why do you set about that plan?

CHAR. Quia enim me adflictat amor.
EVT. Quid tu ais? quid cum illuc, quo nunc ire paritas, veneris,
si ibi amare forte occipias atque item eius sit inopia, 650
iam inde porro aufugies, deinde item illinc, si item evenerit?

CHAR. Because indeed Love afflicts me.
EVT. What do you say? What, when you have come to that place, whither now you prepare to go,
if there you should perhaps begin to love and likewise there be a lack of it, 650
will you straightway flee from there further on, then likewise from there, if the same should eventuate?

quis modus tibi exilio tandem eveniet, qui finis fugae?
quae patria aut domus tibi stabilis esse poterit? dic mihi.

What limit will at last befall you in exile, what end to your flight?
What fatherland or home will be able to be stable for you? Tell me.

cedo, si hac urbe abis, amorem te hic relicturum putas?
si id fore ita sat animo acceptum est, certum id, pro certo si habes, 655
quanto te satiust rus aliquo abire, ibi esse, ibi vivere
adeo dum illius te cupiditas atque amor missum facit?
CHAR. Iam dixisti?

come then, if you leave this city, do you think you will leave your love behind here?
if that will be so is sufficiently accepted by your mind, that certain thing, if you hold it for certain, 655
how much more advisable is it for you to go off to the country somewhere, to be there, to live there
even until the cupidity and love of that one releases you? CHAR. have you finished saying?

EVT. Dixi. CHAR. Frustra dixti. hoc mihi certissumumst.

EVT. I have said. CHAR. You said it in vain. This is most certain to me.

eo domum, patrem atque matrem ut meos salutem, postea
clam patrem patria hac effugiam, aut aliquid capiam consili.— 660
EVT. Vt corripuit se repente atque abiit. heu misero mihi,
si ille abierit, mea factum omnes dicent esse ignavia.
certumst praeconum iubere iam quantum est conducier,
qui illam investigent, qui inveniant.

I am going home, to salute my father and mother, my own; afterward
secretly from my father I will flee from this homeland, or I will take some counsel.— 660
EVT. How he snatched himself up suddenly and went off. alas for wretched me,
if he goes away, everyone will say the deed has been done through my cowardice.
It is resolved to order now as many heralds as are to be hired,
to investigate her, to find her.

post ad praetorem ilico
ibo, orabo, ut conquaestores det mi in vicis omnibus; 665
nam mihi nil relicti quicquam aliud iam esse intellego.—

afterwards to the praetor straightaway
I will go, I will beg, that he give me searchers in all the neighborhoods; 665
for I understand that nothing else at all is left to me now.—

ACTVS IV

ACT 4

IV.i
DORIPPA Quoniam a viro ad me rus advenit nuntius,
rus non iturum, feci ego ingenium meum,
reveni, ut illum persequar qui me fugit.
sed anum non video consequi nostram Syram. 670
atque eccam incedit tandem. quin is ocius?

IV.i
DORIPPA Since a messenger came to me from my husband, that he would not be going to the country,
I turned my ingenuity to work; I came back, to pursue him who flees me.
but I do not see our old woman Syra catching up. 670
and look, here she comes at last. why is she not quicker?

SYRA nequeo mecastor, tantum hoc onerist quod fero.
DOR. Quid oneris? SYR. Annos octoginta et quattuor;
et eodem accedit servitus, sudor, sitis:
simul haec quae porto deprimunt.

SYRA I cannot, by Castor; so great is this burden that I bear.
DOR. What burden?
SYR. Eighty-four years; and in addition there comes servitude, sweat, thirst:
together these things that I carry weigh me down.

DOR. Aliquid cedo 675
qui hanc vicini nostri aram augeam.
da sane hanc virgam lauri. abi tu intro.

DOR. Hand over something 675
with which I may augment this altar of our neighbor. do indeed give this laurel rod. be off, you, inside.

SYR. Eo.—
DOR. Apollo, quaeso te, ut des pacem propitius,
salutem et sanitatem nostrae familiae,
meoque ut parcas gnato pace propitius. 680
SYRA Disperii, perii misera, vae miserae mihi.
DOR. Satin tu sana es, obsecro?

SYR. I’m going.—
DOR. Apollo, I beseech you to grant peace propitiously,
salvation and soundness to our family,
and that you spare my son as well, in peace, being propitious. 680
SYRA I am undone, I have perished, wretched me, alas for wretched me.
DOR. Are you quite sane, I beseech?

quid eiulas?
SYR. Dorippa, mea Dorippa. DOR. Quid clamas, obsecro?

why do you wail?
SYR. Dorippa, my Dorippa. DOR. Why are you shouting, I beseech?

SYR. Nescio quaest mulier intus hic in aedibus.
DOR. Quid, mulier? SYR. Mulier meretrix.

SYR. I don’t know what woman is inside here in the house.
DOR. What, a woman? SYR. A meretrix, a prostitute.

DOR. Veron serio? 685
SYR. Nimium scis sapere, ruri quae non manseris.
quamvis insipiens poterat persentiscere
* * * 687a
illam esse amicam tui viri bellissumi.
DOR. Credo mecastor.

DOR. Truly, in earnest? 685
SYR. You know too much to be wise, you who did not stay in the country.
even a fool could have fully perceived * * * 687a
that she was the mistress of your very handsome husband.
DOR. By Castor, I believe it.

SYR. Ei hac mecum, ut videas semul
tuam Alcumenam paelicem, Iuno mea.— 690
DOR. Ecastor vero istuc eo quantum potest.—

SYR. Come with me this way, so that you may at once see your Alcmene as a concubine, my Juno.— 690
DOR. By Castor, indeed I’m going there as fast as possible.—

IV.ii
LYSIMACHVS Parumne est malai rei, quod amat Demipho,
ni sumptuosus insuper etiam siet?
decem si vocasset summos ad cenam viros,
nimium obsonavit. sed coquos, quasi in mari 695
solet hortator remiges hortarier,
ita hortabatur.

4.2
LYSIMACHVS Is there not mischief enough, that Demipho is in love, unless he be extravagant besides as well?
if he had invited ten leading men to dinner, he over-provisioned. but the cooks, just as at sea 695
the boatswain is wont to exhort the oarsmen,
so he was exhorting.

egomet conduxi coquom.
sed eum demiror non venire, ut iusseram.
sed quinam hinc a nobis exit?

I myself hired a cook.
but I marvel that he does not come, as I had ordered.
but who is this that comes out from our place?

aperitur foris.

the door is opened.

IV.iii
DORIPPA Miserior mulier me nec fiet, nec fuit, 700
tali viro quae nupserim. heu miserae mihi.
em quoi te et tua, quae tu habeas, commendes viro,
em quoi decem talenta dotis detuli,
haec ut viderem, ut ferrem has contumelias.

4.3
DORIPPA No woman more miserable than I will be, nor has there been, 700
who has married such a man. alas for wretched me!
look—to what sort of husband you commend yourself and your belongings,
look—to whom I brought ten talents of dowry,
only to see this, to bear these contumelies.

LYS. Perii hercle, rure iam rediit uxor mea: 705
vidisse credo mulierem in aedibus.
sed quae loquatur exaudire hinc non queo.
accedam propius.

LYS. I’m undone, by Hercules, my wife has now returned from the country: 705
I think I have seen the woman in the house.
but I cannot make out from here what she is saying.
I’ll go nearer.

DOR. Vae miserae mi. LYS. Immo mihi.
DOR. Disperii. LYS. Equidem hercle oppido perii miser.

DOR. Alas for miserable me. LYS. Nay, for me.
DOR. I am utterly undone. LYS. Indeed, by Hercules, I have completely perished, wretch that I am.

vidit. ut te omnes, Demipho, di perduint. 710
DOR. Pol hoc est, ire quod rus meus vir noluit.
LYS. Quid nunc ego faciam nisi uti adeam atque adloquar?

She has seen. May all the gods send you to perdition, Demipho. 710
DOR. By Pollux, this is the reason my husband didn’t want to go to the country.
LYS. What am I to do now except go up and address her?

iubet salvere suos vir uxorem suam.
urbani fiunt rustici? DOR. Pudicius
faciunt, quam illi qui non fiunt rustici. 715
LYS. Num quid delinquont rustici?

he bids his own people and his wife be well.
do urbanites become rustics? DOR. They act more chastely
than those who do not become rustics. 715
LYS. Do rustics do anything wrong?

DOR. Ecastor minus
quam urbani, et multo minus mali quaerunt sibi.
LYS. Quid autem urbani deliquerunt? dic mihi,
cupio hercle scire.

DOR. By Castor, less
than the city-dwellers, and they seek much less harm for themselves.
LYS. But what offense have the city-dwellers committed? tell me,
by Hercules, I desire to know.

DOR. Sed tu me temptas sciens. 721
quoia illa mulier intust? LYS. Vidistine eam? 719
DOR. Vidi. LYS. Quoia ea sit rogitas?

DOR. But you tempt me knowingly. 721
Whose is that woman inside? LYS. Have you seen her? 719
DOR. I have seen. LYS. Do you ask whose she is?

DOR. Resciscam tamen.
LYS. Vin dicam quoiast? Illa— illa edepol— vae mihi, 722
nescio quid dicam.

DOR. I will find out
nevertheless.
LYS. Do you want me to say whose she is? That— that, by Pollux— woe is me, 722
I do not know what I should say.

DOR. Haeres. LYS. Haud vidi magis.
DOR. Quin dicis?

DOR. You’re stuck. LYS. I’ve not seen more.
DOR. Why don’t you say it?

LYS. Quin si liceat— DOR. Dictum oportuit.
LYS. Non possum, ita instas; urges quasi pro noxio. 725
DOR. Scio, innoxiu's. LYS. Audacter quam vis dicito.
DOR. Dic igitur.

LYS. Why, if it were allowed— DOR. It ought to have been said.
LYS. I cannot, so you press; you press me as if prosecuting a culprit. 725
DOR. I know, you’re innocent. LYS. Say it as boldly as you please.
DOR. Speak, then.

LYS. Dicam. DOR. At qui dicundum est tamen.
LYS. Illast— etiam vis nomen dicam?

LYS. I will say it. DOR. But it must be said, nevertheless.
LYS. She is—that one—do you even want me to say the name?

DOR. Nihil agis,
manufesto teneo in noxia. LYS. Qua noxia?
ista quidem illa est.

DOR. It's no use,
I have you manifestly in wrongdoing. LYS. In what wrongdoing?
that indeed is it.

DOR. Quae illa est? LYS. Illa— DOR. ~Iohia 730
LYS. Iam— si nihil usus esset, iam non dicerem.
DOR. Non tu scis quae sit illa?

DOR. Which one is she? LYS. That one— DOR. ~Iohia 730
LYS. Now— if there were no use, I would not be saying it now.
DOR. Do you not know which one she is?

LYS. Immo iam scio: 732-735
de istac sum iudex captus. DOR. Iudex? iam scio: 736
nunc tu in consilium istam advocavisti tibi.

LYS. Rather, now I know: 732-735
about that one I, the judge, am captured. DOR. Judge? Now I know: 736
now you have called that one into your council for yourself.

LYS. Immo sic: sequestro mihi datast. DOR. Intellego.
LYS. Nihil hercle istius quicquam est.

LYS. Nay rather, thus: she has been given into escrow with me. DOR. I understand.
LYS. By Hercules, there’s nothing at all of that.

DOR. Numero purigas.
LYS. Nimium negoti repperi. enim vero haereo. 740

DOR. Settle it in cash.
LYS. I’ve run into too much trouble. Indeed, I’m stuck fast. 740

IV.iv
COCVS Agite ite actutum, nam mi amatori seni
coquendast cena. atque, quom recogito,
nobis coquendast, non <quoi con>ducti sumus.
nam qui amat quod amat si habet, id habet pro cibo:
videre, amplecti, osculari, alloqui; 745
sed nos confido onustos redituros domum.

IV.iv
COOK Come on, go forthwith, for for my aged lover
a dinner must be cooked. And, when I reconsider,
it must be cooked by us, not <quoi con>tracted for.
for he who loves—if he has what he loves—has that as food:
to see, to embrace, to kiss, to address; 745
but I am confident we shall return home laden.

ite hac. sed eccum qui nos conduxit senex.
LYS. Ecce autem perii, coquos adest.

go this way. but look, here he is, the old man who hired us.
LYS. look, I am undone, the cook is here.

COC. Advenimus.
LYS. Abi. COC. Quid, abeam?

COC. We have arrived.
LYS. Be off. COC. What, am I to be off?

LYS. St, abi. COC. Abeam? LYS. Abi.

LYS. Hush, go away. COC. Shall I go away? LYS. Go away.

COC. Non estis cenaturi? LYS. Iam saturi sumus. 750
COC. Sed— LYS. Interii. DOR. Quid ais tu? etiamne haec illi tibi
iusserunt ferri, quos inter iudex datu's?
COC. Haecin tua est amica, quam dudum mihi
te amare dixti, quom obsonabas?

COC. Are you not going to dine? LYS. We are already sated. 750
COC. But— LYS. I am undone. DOR. What do you say, you? Did even those among whom you are appointed judge order these things to be carried to you—for that fellow?
COC. Is this your lady-friend, whom just now you told me you love, when you were shopping for provisions?

LYS. Non taces?
COC. Satis scitum filum mulieris. verum hercle anet. 755
LYS. Abin dierectus?

LYS. Will you not be silent?
COC. A pretty clever thread of a woman. but, by Hercules, she pants. 755
LYS. Will you go off straightaway?

COC. Haud malast. LYS. At tu malu's.
COC. Scitam hercle opinor concubinam hanc. LYS. Non abis?

COC. Not bad at all. LYS. But you are bad.
COC. By Hercules, I reckon this a clever concubine. LYS. Won't you go away?

non ego sum qui te dudum conduxi. COC. Quid est?
immo hercle tu istic ipsus.

I am not the one who hired you just now. COC. What is it?
No indeed, by Hercules, it's you yourself right there.

LYS. Vae misero mihi.
COC. Nempe uxor rurist tua, quam dudum dixeras 760
te odisse aeque atque anguis.~ LYS. Egone istuc dixi tibi?
COC. Mihi quidem hercle.

LYS. Woe to wretched me.
COC. Surely your wife is in the country, whom a short while ago you said 760
you hate as much as a serpent.~ LYS. Did I say that to you?
COC. To me indeed, by Hercules.

LYS. Ita me amabit Iuppiter,
uxor, ut ego illud numquam dixi. DOR. Etiam negas?
palam istaec fiunt, te me odisse.

LYS. So may Jupiter love me,
wife, that I never said that. DOR. Do you still deny it?
These things are done openly: that you hate me.

LYS. Quin nego.
COC. Non, non te odisse aiebat, sed uxorem suam; 765
et uxorem suam ruri esse aiebat. LYS. Haec east.

LYS. Why, I deny it.
COC. No, no—he said he did not hate you, but his own wife; 765
and he said his wife was in the country. LYS. That’s it.

quid mihi molestu's? COC. Quia novisse me negas;
nisi metuis tu istanc. LYS. Sapio, nam mihi unicast.
COC. Vin me experiri?

why are you bothering me? COC. Because you deny knowing me; unless you fear that woman. LYS. I am wise, for to me she is my one-and-only. COC. Do you want to try me?

LYS. Nolo. COC. Mercedem cedo.
LYS. Cras petito; dabitur.

LYS. I do not want to. COC. I cede the fee.
LYS. Ask tomorrow; it will be given.

nunc abi. DOR. Heu miserae mihi. 770
LYS. Nunc ego verum illud verbum esse experior vetus:
aliquid mali esse propter vicinum malum.
COC. Cur hic astamus?

now go. DOR. Alas for wretched
me. 770
LYS. Now I experience that that old word is true:
that there is some evil because of an evil neighbor.
COC. Why are we standing here?

quin abimus? incommodi
si quid tibi evenit, id non est culpa mea.
LYS. Quin me eradicas miserum.

why don’t we go? of incommodity
if anything has happened to you, that is not my fault.
LYS. Why don’t you eradicate miserable me.

COC. Scio iam quid velis: 775
nempe me hinc abire vis. LYS. Volo inquam. COC. Abibitur.

COC. I already know what you want: 775
namely, you want me to go away from here. LYS. I want it, I say. COC. I’ll be off.

drachmam dato. LYS. Dabitur. COC. Dari ergo sis iube.

give a drachma. LYS. It will be given. COC. Therefore please order it to be given.

dari potest interea dum illi ponunt. LYS. Quin abis?
potine ut molestus ne sis?

it can be given meanwhile while they set it down. LYS. Won’t you go away?
could you manage not to be a nuisance?

COC. Agite apponite
obsonium istuc ante pedes illi seni. 780
haec vasa aut mox aut cras iubebo abs te peti
sequimini.— LYS. Fortasse te illum mirari coquom,
quod venit atque haec attulit. dicam quid est.
DOR. Non miror si quid damni facis aut flagiti.

COOK. Come, set that dish before the feet of that old man. 780
these vessels either presently or tomorrow I will order to be fetched from you; follow.— LYS. Perhaps you marvel at that cook, that he came and brought these things. I will say what it is.
DOR. I do not marvel if you do any damage or flagitious act.

nec pol ego patiar, sic me nuptam tam male 785
measque in aedis sic scorta obductarier.
Syra, i, rogato meum patrem verbis meis,
ut veniat ad me iam simul tecum.— SYR. Eo.—
LYS. Nescis negoti quid sit, uxor, obsecro.
conceptis verbis iam iusiurandum dabo, 790
me numquam quicquam cum illa— iamne abiit Syra?

nor, by Pollux, will I allow, I being a wife, so badly to be treated 785
and for such strumpets to be smuggled into my house in this way.
Syra, go, ask my father, in my words,
to come to me now at once together with you.— SYR. I’m going.—
LYS. You don’t know what the business is, wife, I beg.
with set words I will now give an oath, 790
that I never anything with that woman— has Syra gone already?

perii hercle. ecce autem haec abiit. vae misero mihi.

I am undone, by Hercules. Behold, however, she has gone. Woe to miserable me.

at te, vicine, di deaeque perduint,
cum tua amica cumque amationibus.
suspicione implevit me indignissime, 795
concivit hostis domi: uxor acerrumast.
ibo ad forum atque haec Demiphoni eloquar,
me istanc capillo protracturum esse in viam,
nisi hinc abducit quo volt ex hisce aedibus.

But may the gods and goddesses utterly destroy you, neighbor,
together with your mistress and with your amours.
He has filled me with suspicion most outrageously, 795
he has stirred up an enemy at home: the wife is fiercest.
I will go to the Forum and declare these things to Demipho,
that I will drag that woman by the hair out into the street,
unless he leads her away from here wherever he wishes from this house.

uxor, heus uxor, quamquam tu irata es mihi, 800
iubeas, si sapias, haec intro auferrier:
eadem licebit mox cenare rectius.—

wife, hey wife, although you are irate at me, 800
order, if you are wise, that these things be carried indoors:
the same things it will be allowed to dine upon more properly soon.—

IV.v
SYRA Era quo me misit, ad patrem, non est domi:
rus abiisse aibant. nunc domum renuntio.
EVTYCHVS Defessus sum urbem totam pervenarier: 805
nihil investigo quicquam de illa muliere.

4.5
SYRA Where my mistress sent me, to the father, he is not at home:
they said he had gone off to the country. Now I report back home.
EVTYCHVS I am worn out from hunting through the whole city: 805
I discover nothing at all about that woman.

sed mater rure rediit, nam video Syram
astare ante aedis. Syra. SYR. Quis est qui me vocat?

but the mother has returned from the countryside, for I see Syra
standing before the house. Syra. SYR. Who is it who calls me?

EVT. Erus atque alumnus tuos sum. SYR. Salve, alumne <mi>.
EVT. Iam mater rure rediit? responde mihi. 810
SYR. Sua quidem salute ac familiai maxuma.

EVT. I am your master and your alumnus. SYR. Hail, my alumnus <mi>.
EVT. Has mother now returned from the countryside? answer me. 810
SYR. Indeed, with her own safety and the family’s in the greatest measure.

EVT. Quid istuc negotist? SYR. Tuos pater bellissumus
amicam adduxit intro in aedis. EVT. Quo modo?

EVT. What is that business? SYR. Your most charming father has brought a mistress inside into the house.
He led in a girlfriend into the house. EVT. How so?

SYR. Adveniens mater rure eam offendit domi.
EVT. Pol haud censebam istarum esse operarum patrem. 815
etiam nunc mulier intust? SYR. Etiam.

SYR. Arriving from the country, your mother came upon her at home.
EVT. By Pollux, I did not suppose my father to be of those operations. 815
Is the woman still inside? SYR. Yes.

EVT. Sequere me.—

EVT. Follow me.—

IV.vi
SYR. Ecastor lege dura vivont mulieres
multoque iniquiore miserae quam viri.
nam si vir scortum duxit clam uxorem suam,
id si rescivit uxor, impunest viro; 820
uxor virum si clam domo egressa est foras,
viro fit causa, exigitur matrimonio.
utinam lex esset eadem quae uxori est viro;
nam uxor contenta est, quae bona est, uno viro:
qui minus vir una uxore contentus siet? 825
ecastor faxim, si itidem plectantur viri,
si quis clam uxorem duxerit scortum suam,
ut illae exiguntur quae in se culpam commerent,
plures viri sint vidui quam nunc mulieres.—

4.6
SYR. By Castor, women live under a hard law,
and, poor wretches, under one much more iniquitous than men.
For if a man has taken a harlot in secret from his wife,
and if his wife has found it out, it is without penalty for the man; 820
if a wife has gone out of the house outside, unbeknownst to her husband,
it becomes a case for the husband, she is driven from the marriage.
Would that the law were the same for the husband as it is for the wife;
for a wife, who is good, is content with one man:
why should a man be less content with one wife? 825
By Castor, I would make sure, if men were punished in the same way,
if anyone should in secret take his harlot, unbeknownst to his wife,
that, as those women are driven out who have incurred guilt upon themselves,
there would be more men widowers than there are women now.—

ACTVS V

ACT 5

V.i
CHARINVS Limen superum inferumque, salve, simul autem vale: 830
hunc hodie postremum extollo mea domo patria pedem.
usus, fructus, victus, cultus iam mihi harunc aedium
interemptust, interfectust, alienatust. occidi.

V.i
CHARINVS Supernal and infernal threshold, hail, and at the same time farewell: 830
today I lift this foot for the last time from my ancestral home.
use, fruit, victuals, culture of this house for me
has now been destroyed, slain, alienated. I am slain.

di penates meum parentum, familiai Lar pater,
vobis mando, meum parentum rem bene ut tutemini. 835
ego mihi alios deos penatis persequar, alium Larem,
aliam urbem, aliam civitatem: ab Atticis abhorreo;
nam ubi mores deteriores increbrescunt in dies,
ubi qui amici, qui infideles sint nequeas pernoscere
ubique id eripiatur, animo tuo quod placeat maxume, 840
ibi quidem si regnum detur, non cupita est civitas.

household gods, the Penates, of my parents, Father Lar of the family,
to you I entrust that you guard well the estate of my parents. 835
I for myself will pursue other Penate gods, another Lar,
another city, another commonwealth: I abhor the Attic people;
for where worse morals grow rife day by day,
where you cannot thoroughly perceive who are friends and who are faithless,
and everywhere that is snatched away which most of all pleases your spirit, 840
there indeed, even if a kingdom be given, the civitas is not desired.

V.ii
EVTYCHVS Divom atque hominum quae spectatrix atque era eadem es hominibus,
spem speratam quom obtulisti hanc mihi, tibi grates ago.
ecquisnam deus est, qui mea nunc laetus laetitia fuat?
domi erat quod quaeritabam: sex sodales repperi, 845
vitam, amicitiam, civitatem, laetitiam, ludum, iocum;
eorum inventu res simitu pessumas pessum dedi,
iram, inimicitiam, maerorem, lacrumas, exilium, inopiam
[solitudinem, stultitiam, exitium, pertinaciam].
date, di, quaeso conveniundi mi eius celerem copiam. 850
CHAR. Apparatus sum ut videtis: abicio superbiam;
egomet mihi comes, calator, equos, agaso, armiger,
egomet sum mihi imperator, idem egomet mihi oboedio,
egomet mihi fero quod usust.

5.2
EVTYCHUS You who are the spectator of gods and men and likewise the mistress for men,
since you have offered to me this hoped-for hope, I give thanks to you.
What god, pray, is there who now is glad with my gladness?
At home was what I kept seeking: I found six comrades, 845
life, friendship, citizenship, gladness, play, jest;
by the finding of them I at the same time cast to the depths the worst things,
anger, enmity, sorrow, tears, exile, want
[solitude, stupidity, destruction, obstinacy].
grant, gods, I beg, to me a swift chance of meeting with him. 850
CHAR. I am outfitted, as you see: I cast off haughtiness;
I myself am for myself companion, attendant, horse, mule-driver, armor-bearer,
I myself am for myself general, likewise I myself obey myself,
I myself carry for myself what there is need of.

o Cupido, quantus es.
nam tu quemvis confidentem facile tuis factis facis, 855
eundem ex confidente actutum diffidentem denuo.
EVT. Cogito quonam ego illum curram quaeritatum. CHAR. Certa res
me usque quaerere illam, quoquo hinc abductast gentium;
neque mihi ulla obsistet amnis nec mons neque adeo mare,
nec calor nec frigus metuo neque ventum neque grandinem; 860
imbrem perpetiar, laborem sufferam, solem, sitim;
non concedam neque quiescam usquam noctu neque dius
prius profecto quam aut amicam aut mortem investigavero.

O Cupid, how great you are.
for you make anyone confident easily by your deeds, 855
and the same man, from confident, forthwith distrustful again.
EVT. I am thinking whither I shall run to seek him. CHAR. A settled matter
that I will keep searching for her, to whatever nation she has been carried off from here;
nor shall any river stand in my way, nor mountain, nor even the sea,
I fear neither heat nor cold, nor wind nor hail; 860
I will endure rain, I will suffer toil, sun, thirst;
I will not yield nor rest anywhere by night nor by day
before surely I shall have tracked down either my beloved or death.

EVT. Nescio quoia vox ad aures mi advolavit. CHAR. Invoco
vos, Lares viales, ut me bene tutetis. EVT. Iuppiter, 865
estne illic Charinus?

EVT. I do not know whose voice has flown to my ears. CHAR. I invoke
you, Lares of the roads, that you may guard me well. EVT. Jupiter, 865
is Charinus there?

CHAR. Cives, bene valete. EVT. Ilico
sta, Charine. CHAR. Qui me revocat?

CHAR. Citizens, farewell. EVT. At once
stop, Charinus. CHAR. Who calls me back?

EVT. Spes, Salus, Victoria.
CH. Quid me voltis? E. Ire tecum.

EVT. Hope, Salvation, Victory.
CH. What do you want of me? E. To go with you.

CH. Alium comitem quaerite,
non amittunt hi me comites qui tenent. EVT. Qui sunt ei?
CHAR. Cura, miseria, aegritudo, lacrumae, lamentatio. 870
EVT. Repudia istos comites atque hoc respice et revortere.
CHAR. Siquidem mecum fabulari vis, subsequere.

CH. Seek another companion,
these companions who hold me do not let me go. EVT. Who are they?
CHAR. Care, misery, sickness, tears, lamentation. 870
EVT. Repudiate those companions and look at this and turn back.
CHAR. Since indeed you wish to speak with me, follow after.

EVT. Sta ilico.
CHAR. Male facis, properantem qui me commorare. sol abit.

EVT. Stand immediately.
CHAR. You do ill, you who delay me as I hurry; the sun is going away.

EVT. Si huc item properes ut istuc properas, facias rectius:
huc secundus ventus nunc est; cape modo vorsoriam: 875
hic favonius serenust, istic auster imbricus;
hic facit tranquillitatem, iste omnis fluctus conciet.
recipe te ad terram, Charine, huc. nonne ex advorso vides,
nubis atra imberque <ut> instat?

EVT. If you were hurrying this way just as you are hurrying that way, you would act more rightly:
hither the wind is favorable now; only take the tack: 875
here the Favonius is serene, there the Auster is rainy;
here it makes tranquillity, that one stirs up all the billows.
take yourself back to land, Charinus, this way. Do you not see head-on,
how a black cloud and rain press on?

aspice ad sinisteram,
caelum ut est splendore plenum atque ut dei is<tuc vorti iubent>? 880
CHAR. Religionem illic <mi> obiecit: recipiam me illuc. EVT. Sapis.
o Charine, contra pariter fer gradum et confer pedem,
porge bracchium.

look to the left,
how the sky is full of splendor, and how the gods bid that to veer? 880
CHAR. He has put a scruple of religion before me there: I will take myself back thither. EVT. You are wise.
O Charine, bear your step in equal counter-pace and bring your foot alongside,
proffer your arm.

CHAR. Prehende. iam tenes? EVT. Teneo.

CHAR. Take hold. Do you hold now? EVT. I hold.

CHAR. Tene.
EVT. Quo nunc ibas? CHAR. Exulatum.

CHAR. Hold.
EVT. Where were you going now? CHAR. Into exile.

EVT. Quid ibi faceres? CHAR. Quod
miser.
EVT. Ne pave, restituam iam ego te in gaudio antiquo ut sies. 885
maxime quod vis audire, id audies, quod gaudeas
[sta ilico, amicus aduenio multum beneuolens].
tuam amicam— CH. Quid eam?

EVT. What would you do there? CHAR. What
a wretch [does].
EVT. Do not be afraid, I will now restore you into your former joy, that you may be so. 885
most of all, what you wish to hear, you will hear, that you may rejoice.
[stand right there, I come as a friend, very benevolent].
your girlfriend— CH. What of her?

E. Vbi sit ego scio. CH. Tune, obsecro?
EVT. Sanam et salvam.

E. I know where she is. CH. You, I beg?
EVT. Safe and sound.

CHAR. Vbi eam salvam? EVT. Ego scio. CHAR. Ego
me mavelim.

CHAR. Where is she safe and sound? EVT. I know. CHAR. I
would rather know myself.

EVT. Potin ut animo sis tranquillo? CHAR. Quid si mi animus fluctuat? 890
EVT. Ego istum in tranquillo quieto tuto sistam: ne time.
CHAR. Obsecro te, loquere <propere> ubi sit, ubi eam videris.

EVT. Are you able to be with a tranquil mind? CHAR. What if my mind fluctuates? 890
EVT. I will set it in calm, quiet safety; do not fear. CHAR. I beseech you, speak <quickly> where she is, where you have seen her.

quid taces? dic. enicas me miserum tua reticentia.

Why are you silent? Speak. You are killing me, wretched me, by your reticence.

EVT. Non longe hinc abest a nobis. CHAR. Quin ergo commostras, si vides?~
EVT. Non video hercle nunc, sed vidi modo. CHAR. Quin ego videam facis? 895
EVT. Faciam.

EVT. She is not far from us here. CHAR. Why then don’t you point her out, if you see?~
EVT. By Hercules, I do not see now, but I saw just now. CHAR. Won’t you make it so that I see? 895
EVT. I will do so.

CHAR. Longum istuc amantist. EVT. Etiam metuis? omnia
commonstrabo.

CHAR. That is long for a lover. EVT.
Are you still afraid? I will demonstrate everything.

amicior mihi nullus vivit atque is est
qui illam habet, neque est quoi magis me velle melius aequom siet.
CHAR. Non curo istunc, de illa quaero. EVT. De illa ergo ego dico tibi.

No one lives more a friend to me than he who has her;
nor is there anyone for whom it would be more equitable that I should wish better.
CHAR. I don’t care about that fellow; I’m asking about her. EVT. About her then
I am telling you.

sane hoc non in mentem venit dudum, ut ubi <sit dicerem>. 900
CHAR. Dic igitur, ubi illa est? EVT. In nostris aedibus. CHAR. Aedis probas,
si tu vera dicis; pulchre aedificatas arbitro.

indeed this did not come into my mind a while ago, that I should say where she is. 900
CHAR. Then say, where is she? EVT. In our house. CHAR. You approve the house,
if you speak true; I judge them beautifully built.

sed qui ego istuc credam? vidistin an de audito nuntias?
E. Egomet vidi.

but how am I to believe that? did you see it, or are you announcing from hearsay?
E. I myself saw it.

CH. Quis eam adduxit ad vos? E. <Vt> inique rogas.
quid tua refert, qui cum istac venerit?

CH. Who brought her to you? E. <As> unfairly you ask.
what is it to you who came with that woman?

CHAR. Dum istic siet.            906
vera dicis? EVT. Nil, Charine, te quidem quicquam pudet;                905
est profecto. CHAR. Opta ergo ob istunc nuntium quid vis tibi.        907
EVT. Quid si optabo?

CHAR. So long as she is there.            906
are you telling the truth? EVT. You are not, Charinus, in the least ashamed of anything; it is indeed so.                905
CHAR. Then opt, therefore, on account of that announcement, whatever you wish for yourself.        907
EVT. What if I opt?

CHAR. Deos orato ut eius faciant copiam.
EVT. Derides. CHAR. Servata res est demum, si illam videro.

CHAR. Pray to the gods that they make her available.
EVT. You deride. CHAR. The matter is saved at last, if I shall have seen her.

sed quin ornatum hunc reicio? heus, aliquis actutum huc foras 910
exite illinc, pallium mi ecferte. EVT. Em, nunc tu mihi places.

but why don’t I cast off this attire? hey, someone, at once out here 910
come out from there, bring a cloak out for me. EVT. Good, now you please me.

CHAR. Optume advenis, puere, cape chlamydem atque istic sta ilico,
ut, si haec non sint vera, inceptum hoc itiner perficere exsequar.
EVT. Non mihi credis? CHAR. Omnia equidem credo quae dicis mihi.

CHAR. You come most opportunely, boy; take the chlamys and stand there on the spot
so that, if these things are not true, I may carry through to completion this begun journey.
EVT. You don’t believe me? CHAR. Indeed I believe everything that you say to me.

sed quin intro ducis me ad eam, ut videam? EVT. Paulisper mane. 915
CH. Quid, manebo? E. Tempus non est intro eundi.

but why don’t you lead me inside to her, so that I may see? EVT. Wait a little while. 915
CH. What? shall I wait? E. It is not the time to go inside.

CH. Enicas.
EVT. Non opus est, inquam, nunc intro te ire. CHAR. Responde mihi,
qua causa?

CH. You’re killing me.
EVT. There is no need, I say, for you to go inside now. CHAR. Answer me,
for what cause?

EVT. Operae non est. CHAR. Cur? EVT. Quia non est illi
commodum.

EVT. It is not worth the effort. CHAR. Why? EVT.
Because it is not for her
convenient.

CHAR. Itane? commodum illi non est, quae me amat, quam ego contra amo?
omnibus hic ludificatur me modis.

CHAR. Is that so? It is not convenient for her, she who loves me, whom I in return love?
in every way this fellow makes sport of me.

ego stultior, 920
qui isti credam. commoratur. chlamydem sumam denuo.

I am the more foolish, 920
to believe her. She is lingering. I will take my cloak again.

EVT. Mane parumper atque haec audi. CHAR. Cape sis, puere, hoc pallium.
EVT. Mater irata est patri vehementer, quia scortum sibi
ob oculos adduxerit in aedis, dum ruri ipsa abest:
suspicatur illam amicam esse illi.

EVT. Wait a little and hear this. CHAR. Take this cloak, please, boy.
EVT. Mother is vehemently angry with father, because he has brought a courtesan before her eyes into the house, while she herself is away in the country: she suspects that that woman is his mistress.

CHAR. Sonam sustuli. 925
EVT. Eam rem nunc exquirit intus. CHAR. Iam machaerast in manu.
EVT. Nam si eo ted intro ducam— CHAR. Tollo ampullam atque hinc eo.
EVT. Mane, mane, Charine.

CHAR. I’ve hushed the sound. 925
EVT. She’s now inquiring into that matter inside. CHAR. Now the sword is in hand.
EVT. For if I take you inside— CHAR. I pick up the ampulla and go from here.
EVT. Wait, wait, Charinus.

CHAR. Erras, me decipere haud potes.
EVT. Neque edepol volo. CHAR. Quin tu ergo itiner exsequi meum me sinis?

CHAR. You err; you cannot deceive me.
EVT. Nor, by Pollux, do I wish to. CHAR. Why then do you not allow me to follow out my journey?

EVT. Non sino. CHAR. Egomet me moror. tu puere, abi hinc intro ocius. 930
iam in currum escendi, iam lora in manus cepi meas.

EVT. I do not allow it. CHAR. I myself hold myself back. you, boy, go from here inside quickly. 930
already I have mounted the chariot, already I have taken the reins into my hands.

EVT. Sanus non es. CHAR. Quin, pedes, vos in curriculum conicitis
in Cyprum recta, quandoquidem pater mihi exilium parat?
EVT. Stultus es, noli istuc quaeso dicere. CHAR. Certum exsequist,
operam ut sumam ad pervestigandum, ubi sit illaec.

EVT. You are not in your senses. CHAR. Come now, feet, why don’t you throw yourselves into the chariot
straight to Cyprus, since my father is preparing exile for me?
EVT. You are foolish; please, do not say that. CHAR. It is settled,
that I take pains to investigate where that one is.

EVT. Quin domist. 935
CHAR. Nam hic quod dixit, id mentitust. EVT. Vera dixi equidem tibi.
CHAR. Iam Cyprum veni.

EVT. Why, she is at home. 935
CHAR. For what this fellow said, that was a lie. EVT. I indeed told you the truth.
CHAR. I’ve already come to Cyprus.

EVT. Quin sequere, ut illam videas quam expetis.
CHAR. Percontatus non inveni. EVT. Matris iam iram neglego.

EVT. Come, follow, so that you may see her whom you desire.
CHAR. Having inquired, I did not find her. EVT. I now disregard the mother’s wrath.

CHAR. Porro proficiscor quaesitum. nunc perveni Chalcidem;
video ibi hospitem Zacyntho, dico quid eo advenerim, 940
rogito quis eam vexerit, quis habeat si ibi indaudiverit.
EVT. Quin tu istas omittis nugas ac mecum huc intro ambulas?

CHAR. Further I set out to seek. Now I have arrived at Chalcis;
I see there my host from Zacynthus, I say why I have come there, 940
I inquire who has carried her off, who has her, if he has heard it there.
EVT. Why don’t you drop those trifles and walk in here with me?

CHAR. Hospes respondit, Zacynthi ficos fieri non malas.
EVT. Nil mentitust. CHAR. Sed de amica se indaudivisse autumat,
hic Athenis esse.

CHAR. The host replied, at Zacynthus figs turn out not bad.
EVT. He did not lie. CHAR. But about the girlfriend he has heard, he asserts,
that she is here at Athens.

EVT. Calchas iste quidem Zacynthiust. 945
CHAR. Navem conscendo, proficiscor ilico. iam sum domi,
iam redii <ex> exilio. salve, mi sodalis Eutyche:
ut valuisti?

EVT. That Calchas is indeed a Zacynthian. 945
CHAR. I board the ship, I set out straightway. Now I am at home,
now I have returned <ex> from exile. Hail, my comrade Eutychus:
how have you fared?

quid parentes mei? valent mater pater?
bene vocas, benigne dicis: cras apud te, nunc domi.

What of my parents? Are mother and father well?
You phrase it well, you speak benignly: tomorrow at your place, now at home.

sic decet, sic fieri oportet. EVT. ~Eloque ni somnias. 950
hic homo non sanust. CHAR. Medicari amicus quin properas <mihi>?
EVT. Sequere sis.

thus it is fitting, thus it ought to be done. EVT. ~Speak out, unless you are dreaming. 950
this man is not sane. CHAR. Friend, why don’t you hurry to doctor <me>?
EVT. Follow, please.

CHAR. Sequor. EVT. Clementer quaeso, calces deteris.
audin tu? CHAR. Iam dudum audivi.

CHAR. I follow. EVT. Gently, I beg, you’re wearing down my heels.
do you hear? CHAR. I’ve been hearing for a long while already.

EVT. Pacem componi volo
meo patri cum matre: nam nunc est irata— CHAR. I modo.
EVT. Propter istanc. CHAR. I modo.

EVT. I want peace to be composed
between my father and mother: for now she is angry— CHAR. Just go.
EVT. On account of that woman. CHAR. Just go.

EVT. Ergo cura. CHAR. Quin tu 955
ergo i modo.
tam propitiam reddam, quam quom propitiast Iuno Iovi.—

EVT. Therefore, see to it. CHAR. Why don’t you 955
then just go.
I will render her as propitious as when Juno is propitious to Jove.—

V.iii
DEMIPHO Quasi tu numquam quicquam adsimile huius facti feceris.
LYSIMACHVS Edepol numquam; cavi ne quid facerem. vix vivo miser.

5.3
DEMIPHO As though you had never done anything similar to this deed.
LYSIMACHVS By Pollux, never; I took care not to do anything. wretched, I scarcely live.

nam mea uxor propter illam tota in fermento iacet.
DEM. At ego expurigationem habebo, ut ne suscenseat. 960
LYS. Sequere me. sed exeuntem filium video meum.

for my wife on account of that woman is all in a ferment.
DEM. But I will have an excuse, so that she may not be angry. 960
LYS. Follow me. But I see my son going out.

V.iv
EVTYCHVS Ad patrem ibo, ut matris iram sibi esse sedatam sciat.
iam redeo. LYS. Placet principium.

V.iv
EVTYCHVS I will go to my father, so that he may know that his mother's wrath against him has been assuaged.
now I return. LYS. The beginning pleases.

quid agis? quid fit, Eutyche?
EVT. Optima opportunitate ambo advenistis.

What are you doing? What is happening, Eutychus?
EVT. You both have arrived at the most opportune moment.

LYS. Quid rei est?
EVT. Vxor tibi placida et placatast. cette dextras nunciam. 965
LYS. Di me servant.

LYS. What is the matter?
EVT. Your wife is placid and placated. Hand over your right hands now. 965
LYS. The gods preserve me.

EVT. Tibi amicam esse nullam nuntio.
DEM. Di te perdant. quid negotist nam, quaeso, istuc?

EVT. I announce that you have no mistress.
DEM. May the gods destroy you. What business is that, pray, with that?

EVT. Eloquar.
animum advortite igitur ambo. DEM. Quin tibi ambo operam damus.

EVT. I will speak out.
turn your mind, then, both of you. DEM. Why, we both give you our attention.

EVT. Qui bono sunt genere nati, <si> sunt ingenio malo,
suapte culpa genere sapiunt, genus ingenio improbant. 970
DEM. Verum hic dicit. LYS. Tibi ergo dicit. EVT. Eo illud est verum magis.

EVT. Those who are born of good kind, if they are of bad disposition,
by their own fault they savor of their stock; they discredit the stock by their disposition. 970
DEM. He speaks true. LYS. Then he speaks to you. EVT. On that account it is the truer.

nam te istac aetate haud aequom filio fuerat tuo
adulescenti amanti amicam eripere emptam argento suo.
DEM. Quid tu ais? Charini amicast illa?

for at your age it was not equitable to snatch from your son—an adolescent in love—his girlfriend, bought with his own silver.
DEM. What are you saying? Is she Charinus’s girlfriend?

EVT. Vt dissimulat malus.
DEM. Ille quidem illam sese ancillam matri emisse dixerat. 975
EVT. Propterea igitur tu mercatu's, novos amator, vetus puer?
LYS. Optume hercle, perge <tu>, ego adsistam hinc altrinsecus.

EVT. How the scoundrel dissimulates.
DEM. That fellow indeed had said that he had bought that slave-girl for his mother. 975
EVT. Therefore then you have made the purchase, new lover, old boy?
LYS. Excellent, by Hercules, go on , I will assist from here on the other side.

quibus est dictis dignus, usque oneremus ambo. DEM. Nullus sum.
LYS. Filio suo qui innocenti fecit tantam iniuriam.

He is worthy of the things that have been said; let us continually burden him, both of us. DEM. I am nothing.
LYS. He who has done so great an injury to his own innocent son.

EVT. Quem quidem hercle ego, in exilium cum iret, redduxi domum; 980
nam ibat exulatum. DEM. An abiit? LYS. Etiam loquere, larua?

EVT. Whom indeed, by Hercules, I, when he was going into exile, brought back home; 980
for he was on his way into exile. DEM. Has he gone? LYS. Are you still talking, specter?

temperare istac aetate istis decebat artibus.
DEM. Fateor, deliqui profecto. EVT. Etiam loquere, larua?

to temper yourself at that age by those disciplines was fitting.
DEM. I confess, I have indeed transgressed. EVT. Are you still talking, ghost?

[vacuom esse istac ted aetate his decebat noxiis.] 983a
itidem ut tempus anni, aetatem aliam aliud factum condecet;
nam si istuc ius est, senecta aetate scortari senes,
ubi locist res summa nostra publica? DEM. Ei, perii miser.
LYS. Adulescentes rei agendae isti magis solent operam dare.

[at that age it was fitting that you be vacant from these noxious things.] 983a
just as with the season of the year, a different deed befits a different age;
for if that is the right, that in senile age old men consort with whores,
where then is the chief concern of our Republic? DEM. Ei, I am ruined, wretch that I am.
LYS. Young men are more accustomed to give effort to getting business done.

DEM. Iam obsecro hercle vobis habete cum porcis, cum fiscina.
EVT. Redde illi. DEM. Sibi habeat, iam ut volt per me sibi habeat licet.

DEM. Now, by Hercules, I beg you, keep it for yourselves with the pigs, with the basket.
EVT. Give it back to him. DEM. Let him keep it; now, as he wants, for my part he may keep it as he likes.

EVT. Temperi edepol, quoniam ut aliter facias non est copia. 990
DEM. Supplici sibi sumat quid volt ipse ob hanc iniuriam,
modo pacem faciatis oro, ut ne mihi iratus siet.
si hercle scivissem sive adeo ioculo dixisset mihi,
se illam amare, numquam facerem ut illam amanti abducerem.
Eutyche, ted oro, sodalis eius es, serva et subveni: 995
hunc senem para [me] clientem; memorem dices benefici.

EVT. Timely, by Pollux, since there is no opportunity to do otherwise. 990
DEM. Let him take for himself whatever penalty he wishes for this injury,
only make peace, I beg, so that he not be angry with me.
If, by Hercules, I had known, or even if he had told me in jest,
that he loved that girl, never would I have made it so as to abduct her from a lover.
Eutyches, I beg you—you are his comrade—save and help: 995
win over this old man as [my] client; you will say he is mindful of a benefaction.

LYS. Ora ut ignoscat delictis tuis atque adulescentiae.
DEM. Pergin tu autem? heia, superbe invehere.

LYS. Pray that he forgive your delicts and your adolescence.
DEM. Do you persist then? come on, inveigh superbly.

spero ego mihi quoque
tempus tale eventurum, ut tibi gratiam referam parem.
LYS. Missas iam ego istas artis feci. DEM. Et quidem ego dehinc iam. 1000
EVT. Nihil <agis>:
consuetudine animus rursus te huc inducet.

I too hope for myself that such a time will come, that I may return to you an equal gratitude.
LYS. I have already dismissed those arts. DEM. And indeed I too from now on. 1000
EVT. It’s no use:
out of habit your mind will lead you back here again.

DEM. Obsecro,
satis iam ut habeatis. quin loris caedite etiam, si lubet.
LYS. Recte dicis.

DEM. I beseech, that you may have enough already. Why not beat with thongs too, if it pleases.
LYS. You speak rightly.

sed istuc uxor faciet, quom hoc resciverit.
DEM. Nihil opust resciscat. EVT. Quid istic?

but the wife will do that, when she finds this out.
DEM. There’s no need for her to find it out. EVT. What of it?

non resciscet, ne time.
eamus intro, non utibilest hic locus, factis tuis, 1005
dum memoramus, arbitri ut sint qui praetereant per vias.
DEM. Hercle qui tu recte dicis: eadem brevior fabula
erit.

she will not find it out, do not be afraid.
let’s go inside; this place is not suitable for your deeds—while we are recounting them, those who pass along the streets would be arbiters. 1005
DEM. By Hercules, how rightly you speak: the same tale will be shorter.

eamus. EVT. Hic est intus filius apud nos tuos.
DEM. Optumest.

Let us go. EVT. Here inside is your son with us.
DEM. Excellent.

illac per hortum nos domum transibimus.
LYS. Eutyche, hanc volo prius rem agi, quam meum intro refero pedem. 1010
EVT. Quid istuc est? LYS. Suam quisque homo rem meminit.

that way through the garden we will pass home.
LYS. Eutyches, I want this matter to be done first, before I set my foot inside. 1010
EVT. What is that? LYS. Every man is mindful of his own affair.

responde mihi:
certon scis non suscensere mihi tuam matrem? EVT. Scio.
LYS. Vide.

answer me:
are you certain that your mother is not angry with me? EVT. I know.
LYS. Look.

EVT. Mea fide. LYS. Satis habeo. sed quaeso hercle, etiam vide.

EVT. By my faith. LYS. I have enough. but I beg, by Hercules, do look as well.

EVT. Non mihi credis? LYS. Immo credo, sed tamen metuo miser.
DEM. Eamus intro.

EVT. Do you not believe me? LYS. On the contrary, I do believe, but nevertheless I am afraid, poor wretch.
DEM. Let us go inside.

EVT. Immo dicamus senibus legem censeo, 1015
prius quam abeamus, qua se lege teneant contentique sint.
annos gnatus sexaginta qui erit, si quem scibimus
si maritum sive hercle adeo caelibem scortarier,
cum eo nos hac lege agemus: inscitum arbitrabimur,
et per nos quidem hercle egebit qui suom prodegerit. 1020
neu quisquam posthac prohibeto adulescentem filium
quin amet et scortum ducat, quod bono fiat modo;
siquis prohibuerit, plus perdet clam <qua>si praehibuerit palam.
haec adeo ut ex hac nocte primum lex teneat senes.

EVT. Nay rather, I propose we proclaim a law for the old men, 1015
before we go away, a law by which they should hold themselves and be content.
Whoever will be sixty years old, if we know anyone
whether a husband or, by Hercules, even an unmarried man, whoring,
with him we will proceed by this law: we shall judge him unskilled/ignorant,
and by us indeed, by Hercules, he shall be in want who has squandered his own. 1020
And let no one hereafter forbid his adolescent son
from loving and taking a courtesan, provided it is done in a good manner;
if anyone shall have forbidden, he will lose more secretly than if he had furnished it openly.
And this moreover: let the law hold the old men from this very night, to begin with.

bene valete; atque, adulescentes, haec si vobis lex placet, 1025
ob senum hercle industriam vos aequom est clare plaudere.

fare well; and, adolescents, if this law pleases you, 1025
on account of the industry of the old men, by Hercules, it is equitable for you to applaud loudly.