Plautus: Truculentus

DINIARCHVS ADVLESCENS
ASTAPHIVM ANCILLA
TRVCVLENTVS SERVVS
PHRONESIVM MERETRIX
STRATOPHANES MILES
CYAMVS SERVVS
STRABAX ADVLESCENS
CALLICLES SENEX
ANCILLAE

DINIARCHUS YOUNG MAN
ASTAPHIUM MAIDSERVANT
TRUCULENTUS SLAVE
PHRONESIUM COURTESAN
STRATOPHANES SOLDIER
CYAMUS SLAVE
STRABAX YOUNG MAN
CALLICLES OLD MAN
MAIDSERVANTS

ARGVMENTVM

ARGUMENT

Tres unam pereunt adulescentes mulierem.
Rure unus, alter urbe, peregre tertius;
Vtque ista ingenti militem tangat bolo,
Clam sibi supposuit clandestino editum.
Vi magna servos est ac trucibus moribus,
Lupae ni rapiant domini parsimoniam;
Et is tamen molliter.

Three adolescents are perishing for one woman.
Rrom the countryside one, from the city another, abroad the third;
Vnd that she may hook the soldier with an enormous bait,
Covertly she has passed off as her own one born clandestinely.
Vhe slave is of great force and with truculent manners,
Lest the she-wolves seize the master’s parsimony;
End yet he is gentle.

miles advenit
Natique causa dat propensa munera.
Tandem compressae pater cognoscit omnia,
Vtque illam ducat qui vitiarat convenit,
Suomque is repetit a meretrice subditum.

the soldier arrives
And for the child's sake he gives generous gifts.
At last the father of the ravished girl learns everything,
And it is agreed that the one who had defiled her should lead her in marriage,
And he reclaims from the meretrix his own child that had been foisted in.

PROLOGVS

PROLOGUE

Perparvam partem postulat Plautus loci
de vestris magnis atque amoenis moenibus,
Athenas quo sine architectis conferat.
quid nunc? daturin estis an non?

Plautus asks for a very small part of space
from your great and pleasant walls,
upon which he may confer Athens without architects.
what now? are you going to give or not?

adnuont.
scio rem quidem urbis me ablaturum sine mora; 5
quid si de vostro quippiam orem? abnuont.

they assent.
i know that i will indeed carry off the business of the city without delay; 5
what if i ask for something of your own? they refuse.

eu hercle in vobis resident mores pristini,
ad denegandum ut celeri lingua utamini.
sed hoc agamus qua huc ventumst gratia.
Athenis mutabo ita ut hoc est proscaenium 10
tantisper dum transigimus hanc comoediam.

Ah, by Hercules, within you reside the pristine manners,
that for denying you make use of a swift tongue.
But let us do that for the sake of which we have come here.
I will shift to Athens, in such a way that this is the proscenium 10
for just so long as we transact this comedy.

hic habitat mulier, nomen cui est Phronesium;
haec huius saecli mores in se possidet:
numquam ab amatore [suo] postulat id quod datumst,
sed relicuom dat operam ne sit relicuom, 15
poscendo atque auferendo, ut mos est mulierum;
nam omnes id faciunt, cum se amari intellegunt.
* * * 17a
ea se peperisse puerum simulat militi,
quo citius rem ab eo averrat cum pulvisculo.
quid multa?

here dwells a woman, whose name is Phronesium;
she possesses within herself the mores of this age:
she never asks from her lover [her own] for that which has been given,
but she takes pains that there be no remainder, 15
by demanding and carrying off, as is the custom of women;
for all do this, when they understand that they are loved.
* * * 17a
she pretends to have borne a boy to the soldier,
so that she may more quickly sweep his goods away from him with a little gold-dust.
why more?

~stuic superet muliere 20
~hiscum anima ad eum habenti erce teritur.
* * * 21a

~in this, let her surpass any woman 20
~with these, by Hercules, the one whose soul is set toward her is worn down.
* * * 21a

ACTVS I

ACT 1

I.i
DINIARCHVS Non omnis aetas ad perdiscendum sat est
amanti, dum id perdiscat, quot pereat modis;
neque eam rationem eapse umquam educet Venus,
quam penes amantum summa summarum redit,       25
quot amans exemplis ludificetur, quot modis
pereat quotque exoretur exorabulis:
quot illic blanditiae, quot illic iracundiae
sunt, quot supplicia danda, di vostram fidem, hui,
quid perierandum est etiam, praeter munera:             30
primumdum merces annua, is primus bolust,
ob eam tres noctes dantur; interea loci
~aut ara aut vinum aut oleum aut triticum,
temptat benignusne an bonae frugi sies:
quasi in piscinam rete qui iaculum parat,       35
quando abiit rete pessum, adducit lineam;
si inierit rete piscis, ne effugiat cavet:
dum huc dum illuc rete <circumv>or<tit>, impedit
piscis usque adeo donicum eduxit foras.
itidem si amator id quod oratur dedit             40
atque est benignus potius quam frugi bonae
[adduntur noctes, interim ille hamum vorat],
si semel amoris poculum accepit meri
eaque intra pectus se penetravit potio,
extemplo et ipsus periit et res et fides.       45
si iratum scortumst forte amatori suo,
bis perit amator, ab re atque <ab> animo simul;
sin alter altri propitiust, idem perit:
si raras noctes ducit, ab animo perit;
sin crebras ducit, ipsus gaudet, res perit. 50
~iteca in aedibus lenosis~                    50a
prius quam unum dederis, centum quae poscat parat:
aut periit aurum aut conscissa pallula <est>
aut empta ancilla aut aliquod vasum argenteum
aut vasum ahenum antiquom aut lectus ~laptiles
aut armariola Graeca, aut aliquid semper est         55
quod ~ petra debeatque amans scorto suo.
atque haec celamus nos clam magna industria,
quom rem fidemque nosque nosmet perdimus,
ne qui parentes neu cognati sentiant;
quos cum celamus si faximus conscios,       60
qui nostrae aetati tempestivo temperent,
unde anteparta demus postpartoribus,
faxim lenonum et scortorum ~ plus est         62a
et minus damnosorum hominum quam nunc sunt siet.

I.i
DINIARCHUS Not all an age is enough for learning for a lover, while he learns this: by how many ways he may perish;
nor will Venus herself ever draw out that reckoning, upon which, for lovers, the sum of sums depends,       25
by how many exempla a lover is made sport of, by how many ways he perishes, and by how many cajoleries he is prevailed upon by entreaties:
how many blandishments there, how many angers there are there, how many punishments are to be given—gods, your good faith, hui—
what must be squandered too, besides gifts:
first of all the annual merces; that is the first bolus,
for it three nights are given; in the meantime
~either an altar or wine or oil or wheat,
she tests whether you are generous or of good thrift:
like one who prepares a net to be cast into a fishpond,       35
when the net has gone down, he draws the line;
if the fish has entered the net, he takes care it not escape:
while he keeps turning the net er here and there, he entangles
the fish all the way until he has led it out outside.
likewise, if the lover has given what is asked             40
and is generous rather than of good thrift,
[the nights are added; meanwhile he swallows the hook],
if once he has received the cup of pure love,
and that potion has penetrated within his breast,
immediately both he himself and his property and his credit perish.       45
If by chance the harlot is angry with her lover,
the lover perishes twice, from his estate and his spirit at once;
but if the one is propitious to another, the same perishes:
if he enjoys rare nights, he perishes in spirit;
but if he enjoys frequent ones, he himself rejoices, his estate perishes. 50
~thus in the houses of pimps~                    50a
before you have given one thing, she gets ready a hundred things to ask:
either the gold has perished or the little mantle torn,
or a maidservant has been bought or some silver vessel,
or an ancient bronze vessel or a bed ~laid with tiles
or little Greek cupboards; or there is always something         55
which ~ she should demand and the lover should owe to his harlot.
And we hide these things secretly with great industry,
when we destroy our property, our credit, and ourselves ourselves,
lest any parents or kin perceive;
whom, when we hide it, if we were to make them privy,
who might temper our age with timely temperance,
so that we might give what was acquired beforehand to those born after,
I should make that of pimps and harlots ~ there be more         62a
and that there be fewer ruinous men than there are now.

nam nunc lenonum et scortorum plus est fere,
quam olim muscarum est cum caletur maxime.  65
nam nusquam alibi si sunt, circum argentarias
scorta <et> lenones qui sedent cottidie,
ea nimia est ratio; quippe qui certo scio,
ibi plus scortorum esse iam quam ponderum.
quos quidem quam ad rem dicam in argentariis      70
referre habere, nisi pro tabulis, nescio,
ubi aera perscribantur usuraria:
accepta dico, expensa ne qui censeat.
postremo id magno in populo ~ mulier hominibus,
re placida atque otiosa, victis hostibus:                   75
amare oportet omnes qui quod dent habent.

for now there are almost more pimps and harlots than there used to be flies when it is hottest. 65
for if they are nowhere else, around the money-changers’ counters scorta <and> lenones who sit every day, that reckoning is excessive; since I for sure know that there are now more harlots there than weights.
as for what concern I should say they have with the banking-houses, except on the tablets, I do not know,
where the bronzes of usury are written up in full:
I mean entered as receipts, lest anyone think as expenditures.
finally, in a great populace ~ a woman for men, with affairs placid and at leisure, the enemies conquered:
all who have something to give ought to love.

nam mihi haec meretrix quae hic habet, Phronesium,
suom nomen omne ex pectore exmovit meo,
phronesim, nam phronesis est sapientia.              78a
nam me fuisse huic fateor summum atque intumum,
quod amantis multo pessimum est pecuniae;
eadem postquam alium repperit qui plus daret,
damnosiorem, ~ mihi exinde immovit loco,
quem antehac odiosum sibi esse memorabat mala,
Babyloniensem militem. is nunc dicitur
venturus peregre; eo nunc commenta est dolum:      85
peperisse simulat sese, ut me extrudat foras
atque ut cum solo pergraecetur milite;
eum esse simulat militem puero patrem.
eum isti suppositum puerum opinor pessumae.      88a
mihi verba retur dare se? an me censuit
celare se potesse, gravida si foret?

for this meretrix who lives here, Phronesium,
has driven out from my breast her whole namesake—phronesis—
for phronesis is wisdom.              78a
for I confess that I have been to her the utmost and the inmost—
which is by far the worst thing for a lover’s money;
and after she found another who would give more,
more ruin-bringing, ~ from then on she shifted me from my place,
the man whom previously the wicked woman kept saying was hateful to her,
a Babylonian soldier. He is now said
to be coming from abroad; for that she has now devised a trick:      85
she pretends she has given birth, so as to shove me outside
and so that she may carouse Greek-style with the soldier alone;
she pretends that the soldier is the boy’s father.
I think that boy has been foisted on that worst hussy.      88a
Does she think she’s going to give me “words” (deceive me)? Or did she suppose
she could conceal it from me, if she were pregnant?

nam ego Lemno advenio Athenas nudius tertius,
legatus hinc quo cum publico imperio fui.
sed haec quidem eius Astaphium est ancillula;
cum ea quoque etiam mihi fuit commercium.

for I arrived from Lemnos at Athens the day before yesterday,
a legate from here to that place, with public command.
but this, indeed, is her little maidservant Astaphium;
with her also I had commerce as well.

I.ii
ASTAPHIVM Ad fores auscultate atque adservate aedis,   95
ne quis adventor gravior abaetat quam adveniat,
neu, qui manus attulerit steriles intro ad nos,
gravidas foras exportet. novi ego hominum mores;
ita nunc adulescentes morati sunt: quini
aut seni adveniunt ad scorta congerrones;      100
consulta sunt consilia: quando intro advenerunt,
oenus eorum aliqui osculum amicae usque oggerit, dum illi agant ceteri cleptae;
sin vident quempiam se adservare, obludiant qui custodem oblectent
per ioculum et ludum; de nostro saepe edunt: quod fartores, faciunt.
fit pol hoc, et pars spectatorum scitis pol haec vos me haud mentiri,       105
~ibi sibus pugnae et virtuti de praedonibus praedam capere.

I.ii
ASTAPHIVM Listen at the doors and guard the house,   95
lest any visitor depart heavier than he arrives,
nor he who has brought in to us sterile hands
carry out pregnant ones outside. I know the manners of men;
thus now the young men are behaved: five
or six comrades come to the harlots;      100
their counsels are concerted: when they have come inside,
one of them keeps thrusting a kiss upon his girlfriend, while the others act as thieves;
but if they see someone keeping watch, let those play who entertain the guard
with jest and game; they often eat from our goods: since, as stuffers, they do it.
by Pollux, this happens, and part of you spectators know, by Pollux, that I am not lying in these things,       105
~there is an occasion for combat and for virtue to take booty from the brigands.

at ecastor nos rursum lepide referimus gratiam furibus nostris: 107-110
nam ipsi vident cum eorum aggerimus bona atque etiam ultro ipsi aggerunt 111
ad nos.
DIN. Me illis quidem haec verberat verbis,
nam ego huc bona mea degessi.
AST. Commemini, iam pol ego eumpse ad nos, si domi erit, mecum adducam.

but by Castor, we in turn cleverly return a favor to our thieves: 107-110
for they themselves see when we heap up their goods, and even unprompted they themselves heap them up 111
to us.
DIN. These words indeed lash me, for I have conveyed my goods here.
AST. I remember; now, by Pollux, I myself will bring that very man to us with me, if he is at home.

DIN. Heus, mane dum, Astaphium, prius quam abis. 115
AST. Qui revocat? DIN. Scies: respice huc. AST. Quis est?

DIN. Hey, wait a moment, Astaphium, before you go. 115
AST. Who is calling me back? DIN. You will know: look back here. AST. Who is it?

DIN. Vobis qui multa bona esse volt. AST. Dato, si esse vis.
DIN. Faxo erunt.

DIN. The one who wants there to be many goods for you. AST. Give, if you want them to be.
DIN. I’ll make sure they will be.

respice huc modo. AST. Oh,
enicas me miseram, quisquis es.
DIN. Pessuma, mane. 120
AST. Optume, odio es.
Diniarchusne illic est? atque is est.

just look here. AST. Oh,
you wear me out, miserable me, whoever you are.
DIN. Worst woman, wait. 120
AST. Best one, you are odious.
Is that Diniarchus over there? And it is he.

DIN. Salva sis. AST. Et tu.
DIN. Fer contra manum et pariter gradere.
AST. Tuis servio atque audiens sum imperiis. 125
DIN. Quid agis?

DIN. Be safe. AST. And you.
DIN. Hold out your hand to meet mine and step equally.
AST. I serve your commands and am obedient to your orders. 125
DIN. What are you doing?

AST. Valeo et validum teneo.
peregre quoniam advenis, cena detur.
DIN. Bene dicis benigneque vocas, Astaphium.

AST. I am well, and I keep a firm hold.
since you arrive from abroad, let dinner be served.
DIN. You speak well and invite benignly, Astaphium.

AST. Amabo,
sine me ire, era quo iussit. DIN. Eas. sed quid ais?

AST. Please,
let me go, where the mistress ordered. DIN. Go. But what do you say?

AST. Quid vis?
DIN. Dic quo iter inceptas; quis est quem arcessis? AST. Archilinem 130
~obstetricem.

AST. What do you want?
DIN. Tell where you are heading; whom are you summoning? AST. Archiline 130
~the midwife.

DIN. Mala tu femina es, oles unde es disciplinam.
manifesto mendaci, mala, teneo te. AST. Quid iam, amabo?
DIN. Quia te adducturam huc dixeras eumpse, non eampse;
nunc mulier facta est iam ex viro: mala es praestrigiatrix.

DIN. You are a wicked woman; I smell whence you have your discipline.
caught in a manifest lie, wicked one, I have you. AST. What now, please?
DIN. Because you had said you would bring him himself here, not her herself;
now a woman has been made out of a man: you are a wicked prestidigitatrix.

sed tandem eloquere, quis is homost, Astaphium? novos amator? 135
AST. Nimis otiosum te arbitror hominem esse. DIN. Qui arbitrare?

but at last speak out, who is that man, Astaphium? a new lover? 135
AST. I consider you to be an excessively idle man. DIN. How do you consider (that)?

AST. Quia tuo vestimento et cibo alienis rebus curas.
DIN. Vos mihi dedistis otium. AST. Qui, amabo?

AST. Because, with your clothing and food, you busy yourself with others’ affairs.
DIN. You have given me leisure. AST. How, please?

DIN. Ego expedibo.
rem perdidi apud vos, vos meum negotium abstulistis.
si rem servassem, fuit ubi negotiosus essem. 140
AST. An tu te Veneris publicum aut Amoris alia lege
habere posse postulas, quin otiosus fias?

DIN.
I will disentangle it.
I lost my property with you; you have taken away my business.
if I had kept the property, there would have been where I might be busy. 140
AST. Do you demand that you can hold yourself as public to Venus, or to Love on some other law,
and not become idle?

DIN. Illa, haud ego, habuit publicum: pervorse interpretaris;
nam advorsum legem meam ob meam scripturam pecudem cepit.
AST. Plerique idem quod tu facis faciunt rei male gerentes: 145
ubi non est, scripturam unde dent, incusant publicanos.
DIN. Male vertit res pecuaria mihi apud vos: nunc vicissim
volo habere aratiunculam pro copia hic apud vos.

DIN. She, not I, was “public”; you interpret perversely;
for, contrary to my law, on account of my scriptura she seized a head of cattle.
AST. Most people who manage their affair badly do the same thing you do: 145
when there is nowhere whence to give the scriptura, they accuse the publicans.
DIN. The cattle-business has turned out badly for me among you: now in turn
I want to have a little ploughing-plot, as means allow, here among you.

AST. Non arvos hic, sed pascuost ager: si arationes
habituru's, qui arari solent, ad pueros ire meliust. 150
hunc nos habemus publicum, illi alii sunt publicani.
DIN. Vtrosque pergnovi probe. AST. Em istoc pol tu otiosu's,
cum et illic et hic pervorsus es. sed utriscum rem esse mavis?

AST. Not arable-land here, but a pasture-field: if you are going to have arations,
those who are wont to be plowed, it is better to go to the boys. 150
we have this one public; those others are publicans.
DIN. I have thoroughly come to know both. AST. There—by Pollux, you are idle on that score,
since you are perverse both there and here. But with which of the two do you prefer to have business?

DIN. Procaciores estis vos, sed illi periuriores;
illis perit quidquid datur, neque ipsis apparet quicquam: 155
vos saltem si quid quaeritis, ecbibitis et comestis.
postremo illi sunt improbi, vos nequam et gloriosae.
AST. Male quae in nos vis, ea omnia tibi dicis, Diniarche,
et nostram et illorum vicem.

DIN. You are more procacious, but they are more perjured;
with them whatever is given perishes, nor does anything appear to them: 155
you at least, if you seek anything, you drink it down and eat it up.
postremo they are wicked, you worthless and vainglorious.
AST. The ill things you aim at us, all those you speak to yourself, Diniarchus,
and on both our account and theirs.

DIN. Qui istuc? AST. Rationem dicam:
quia qui alterum incusat probri, sumpse enitere oportet. 160
tu a nobis sapiens nihil habes, nos nequam abs ted habemus.
DIN. O Astaphium, haud istoc modo solita es me ante appellare,
sed blande, cum illuc, quod apud vos nunc est, apud me habebam.

DIN. How so? AST. I will tell the rationale:
because he who accuses another of a disgrace ought to exert himself. 160
you have nothing sapient from us; we have worthless from you. DIN. O Astaphium, you were not wont before to address me in that way,
but blandly, when that thing which is now with you, I had with me.

AST. Dum vivit, hominem noveris: ubi mortuost, quiescat.
te dum vivebas noveram. DIN. An me mortuom arbitrare? 165
AST. Qui potis [est], amabo, planius?

AST. While he lives, you should know the man; when he is dead, let him rest.
you I knew while you were alive. DIN. Do you suppose me dead? 165
AST. How can that be, please—more plainly?

qui antehac amator summus
habitu's, nunc ad amicam venis querimoniam deferre.
DIN. Vestra hercle factum iniuria, quae properavistis olim:
rapere otiose oportuit, diu ut essem incolumis vobis.
AST. Amator similest oppidi hostilis.

you who before this were the supreme lover,
now you come to your girlfriend to lodge a complaint.
DIN. By Hercules, your deed was an injury, that you hurried formerly:
it ought to have been to plunder at leisure, so that I might be intact for you for a long time.
AST. A lover is like a hostile town.

DIN. Quo argumento [est]? 170
AST. Quam primum expugnari potis [est], tam id optimum est amicae.
DIN. Ego fateor, sed longe aliter est amicus atque amator:
certe hercle quam veterrimus, tam homini optimust amicus.
<AST. Si vivit.

DIN. By what argument? 170
AST. The sooner she can be taken by storm, so much the better it is for the mistress.
DIN. I admit it, but a friend is far otherwise than a lover:
surely, by Hercules, the older he is, the better a friend he is to a man.
<AST. If he lives.

DIN.> Non hercle occidi, sunt mi etiam fundi et aedis.
AST. Cur, obsecro, ergo ante ostium pro ignoto alienoque astas? 175
<i> intro, haud alienus tu quidem es; nam ecastor neminem hodie
mage amat corde atque animo suo, si quidem habes fundum atque aedis.
DIN. In melle sunt linguae sitae vostrae atque orationes,
facta atque corda in felle sunt sita atque acerbo aceto:
eo dicta lingua dulcia datis, corde amara facitis. 180
AST. [Amantes si qui non danunt, ~ non didici fabulari.]
non istaec, mea benignitas, decuit te fabulari,
sed istos qui cum geniis suis belligerant parcipromi.

DIN.> By Hercules, I haven’t been undone, I still have estates and a house.
AST. Why, I beg, then do you stand before the door as an unknown and alien? 175
<i> go in, you are indeed not alien; for by Castor, today she loves no one more with her heart and soul, if indeed you have an estate and a house.
DIN. Your tongues and orations are set in honey, your deeds and hearts are set in gall and bitter vinegar: therefore with the tongue you give sweet sayings, with the heart you make bitter things. 180
AST. [If there are lovers who do not give, ~ I have not learned to prattle.]
not such things, my gracious one, was it fitting for you to be telling,
but for those parsimonious-givers who wage war with their own genii.

DIN. Mala es atque eadem quae soles inlecebra. AST. Vt exspectatus
peregre advenisti, quam, obsecro, cupiebat te era videre. 185
D. Quid tandem? A. Te unum ex omnibus amat.

DIN. You are wicked, and the same enticement as ever. AST. How expected you have arrived from abroad; how, I beseech, the mistress longed to see you. 185
D. What then? A. You alone out of all she loves.

D. Euge, fundi et aedis,
per tempus subvenistis. sed quid ais, Astaphium? AST. Quid vis?

D. Bravo, estates and house,
you have come to the rescue just in time. But what do you say, Astaphium? AST. What do you want?

DIN. Estne intus nunc Phronesium? AST. Vtut aliis, tibi quidem intus.
DIN. Valetne?

DIN. Is Phronesium inside now? AST. However it may be for others, for you indeed she is inside.
DIN. Is she well?

AST. Immo edepol melius iam fore spero, te ubi videbit.
DIN. Hoc nobis vitium maxumumst, cum amamus tum <hoc> perimus: 190
si illud quod volumus dicitur, palam cum mentiuntur,
verum esse insciti credimus, ne ut iusta utamur ira.
A. Heia, haud itast res.

AST. Nay, by Pollux, I hope it will be better now, when she sees you.
DIN. This is our greatest vice: when we are in love, then <this> we perish: 190
if what we want is said, when they lie openly,
we, ignorant, believe it to be true, so that we do not employ just ire.
A. Hey, the matter is not so.

D. Ain tu eam me amare? A. Immo unice unum.
D. Peperisse audivi.

D. Do you say that she loves me? A. Nay rather, uniquely you alone.
D. I have heard that she has given birth.

A. Ah obsecro, tace, Diniarche. D. Quid iam?
AST. Horresco misera, mentio quotiens fit partionis, 195
ita paene nulla tibi fuit Phronesium.

A. Ah, I beseech, be silent, Diniarchus. D. What now?
AST. I shudder, poor me, whenever mention is made of parturition, 195
so that you almost had no Phronesium.

i intro, amabo,
vise illam. atque opperimino: iam exibit; nam lavabat.
DIN. Quid ais tu? quae numquam fuit praegnas, qui parere potuit?

go inside, please,
go see her. and let us wait: she will come out presently; for she was bathing.
DIN. what are you saying? she who was never pregnant, how could she have given birth?

nam equidem illi uterum, quod sciam, numquam extumere sensi.
AST. Celabat metuebatque te, ne tu sibi persuaderes, 200
ut abortioni operam daret puerumque ut enicaret.
DIN. Tum pol isti est puero pater Babyloniensis miles,
quoius nunc ista adventum expetit.

for indeed I, so far as I know, never perceived her womb to swell.
AST. She was concealing it and fearing you, lest you persuade her, 200
to give her efforts to abortion and to strangle the boy.
DIN. Then, by Pollux, that boy’s father is a Babylonian soldier, whose advent she is now seeking.

AST. Immo ab eo ut nuntiatumst,
iam hic adfuturum aiunt eum. nondum advenisse miror.
DIN. Ibo igitur intro?

AST. Rather, as it has been announced from him,
they say he will be here now. I marvel that he has not yet arrived.
DIN. Shall I go inside then?

AST. Quippini? tam audacter quam domum ad te; 205
nam tu quidem edepol noster es etiam nunc, Diniarche.
DIN. Quam mox te huc recipis?

AST. Why not? Just as audaciously as to your house; 205
for indeed, by Pollux, you are still ours even now, Diniarchus.
DIN. How soon do you return here?

AST. Iam hic ero: propest, profecta quo sum.
DIN. Redi vero actutum. ego interim hic apud vos opperibor.—

AST. I shall be here presently: it is near, the place to which I have set forth.
DIN. Do come back straightway. I in the interim will wait here with you.—

ACTVS II

ACT 2

II.i
AST. Hahahae, requievi,
quia intro abiit odium meum. 210
tandem sola sum. nunc quidem meo arbitratu
loquar libere quae volam et quae lubebit.
huic homini amanti mea era apud nos naeniam dixit domi,
nam fundi et aedis obligatae sunt ob Amoris praedium.

2.i
AST. Hahahae, I have taken rest,
because my object of odium has gone inside. 210
At last I am alone. Now indeed, at my own arbitration,
I will speak freely whatever I will and whatever shall please.
Over this amorous man my mistress at our place has chanted a dirge at home,
for the farms and the house have been obligated—mortgaged—on account of Amor’s estate.

verum apud hunc mea era sua consilia summa eloquitur libere, 215
magisque adeo ei consiliarius hic amicust quam auxiliarius.
dum fuit, dedit; nunc nihil habet: quod habebat nos habemus,
iste id habet quod nos habuimus. humanum facinus factumst.

but with this man my mistress freely speaks out her highest counsels, 215
and moreover this friend is more a counselor to him than an auxiliary.
while he had, he gave; now he has nothing: what he used to have we have,
that fellow has what we used to have. a human deed has been done.

actutum fortunae solent mutari, varia vitast:
nos divitem istum meminimus atque iste pauperes nos: 220
verterunt sese memoriae; stultus sit qui id miretur.
si eget, necessest nos pati: amavit, aequom ei factum est.
piaculumst miserere nos hominum rei male gerentum.

forthwith fortunes are wont to be changed; life is various:
we remember that man rich, and that man remembers us poor: 220
remembrances have turned themselves; let him be a fool who wonders at that.
if he is in want, it is necessary that we endure it: he loved; what has been done to him is equitable.
it is a piacular offense for us to pity men who manage their affairs badly.

[bonis esse oportet dentibus lenam probam,
adripere ut quisquis veniat blandeque adloqui, 225
male corde consultare, bene lingua loqui.]
meretricem sentis similem esse condecet,
quemquem hominem attigerit, profecto ei aut malum aut damnum dare.
numquam amatoris meretricem oportet causam noscere,
quin, ubi nil det, pro infrequente eum mittat militia domum. 230
nec umquam erit probus quisquam amator nisi qui rei inimicust suae.
nugae sunt nisi, modo quom dederit, dare iam lubeat denuo;
is amatur hic apud nos, qui quod dedit id oblitust datum.

[It is fitting that a procuress be of good teeth,
so that she may seize upon whoever comes and address him blandly, 225
to take evil counsel in her heart, to speak well with her tongue.]
You ought to deem a courtesan like a bramble-bush,
whoever the man she has touched, surely to give him either harm or loss.
A courtesan should never learn a lover’s case,
but, whenever he gives nothing, send him home as for non-attendance on service. 230
Nor will any lover ever be respectable unless he is an enemy to his own estate.
It is nonsense unless, when he has just given, he is now willing to give again;
he is loved here among us who has forgotten that what he gave was given.

dum habeat, dum amet; ubi nil habeat, alium quaestum coepiat.
aequo animo, ipse si nihil habeat, aliis qui habent, det locum. 235
[probust amator, qui relictis rebus rem perdit suam.]
at nos male agere praedicant viri solere secum,
nosque esse avaras. qui sumus?

so long as he has, so long as he loves; when he has nothing, let him begin another trade.
with an even mind, if he himself has nothing, let him give place to others who have. 235
[a lover is upright who, having relinquished his affairs, ruins his own property.]
but they proclaim that we are wont to deal badly with them,
and that we are greedy. Are we?

quid male nos agimus tandem?
nam ecastor numquam satis dedit suae quisquam amicae amator,
neque pol nos satis accepimus neque umquam ulla satis poposcit. 240
nam quando sterilis est amator ab datis,
si negat se habere quod det, soli credimus,
nec satis accipimus, satis cum quod det non habet:
semper datores novos oportet quaerere,
qui de thensauris integris demus danunt. 245
velut hic agrestis est adulescens, qui hic habet,
nimis pol mortalis lepidus nimisque probus dator.
[sed is clam patrem etiam hac nocte illac
per hortum transiluit ad nos.

How on earth are we behaving badly?
for, by Castor, never has any lover given enough to his girlfriend,
nor, by Pollux, have we received enough, nor has any woman ever asked enough. 240
for whenever a lover is barren of gifts,
if he denies that he has what he might give, we alone believe him,
and we do not receive enough, when he does not have enough to give:
one must always seek new givers,
who from intact thesauri give donations. 245
for example, this rustic youth here, who has means here,
an exceedingly—by Pollux—charming mortal and a most proper giver.
[but he, secretly from his father, even this night over that way
leapt across through the garden to us.

eum volo convenire.]
sed est huic unus servos violentissimus, 250
qui ubi quamque nostrarum videt prope hasce aedis adgrediri,
item ut de frumento anseres, clamore absterret abigit;
ita est agrestis. sed fores, quidquid est futurum, feriam.
ecquis huic tutelam ianuae gerit?

I want to meet him.]
but he has one slave most violent, 250
who, whenever he sees any one of ours approach near this house,
just as geese from grain, with clamor he frightens off and drives away;
so rustic is he. But the doors—whatever will be, I will strike.
does anyone bear the guardianship of this door?

ecquis intus exit? 254-255

Does anyone inside come out? 254-255

II.ii
TRVCVLENTVS Quis illic est qui tam proterve nostras aedis arietat? 256
AST. Ego sum, respice ad me. TRVC. Quid ego? nonne ego videor tibi?
quid tibi ad hasce accessio aedis est prope aut pultatio?

2.2
TRUCULENTUS Who is that there who so insolently rams at our house? 256
AST. I am; look at me. TRUC. What, me? Do I not appear to you?
what business have you coming near this house or knocking?

AST. Salve. TRVC. Sat mihi est tuae salutis. nil moror.

AST. Hello. TRVC. Your salutation is enough for me. I do not care.

non salveo?
aegrotare malim quam esse tua salute sanior. 260
sed volo scire, quid debetur hic tibi nostrae domi?
AST. Comprime sis eiram.

Am I not "well"?
I would rather be sick than be healthier by your salutation. 260
but I want to know, what is owed you here at our house?
AST. Restrain your ire, please.

TRVC. Eam quidem hercle tu, quae solita es, comprime,
impudens, quae per ridiculum rustico suades stuprum.
AST. Eiram dixi: ut decepisti! dempsisti unam litteram.

TRVC. That one indeed, by Hercules, you,
who are wont, restrain,
impudent woman, you who by way of ridicule persuade a rustic to debauchery.
AST. I said “anger”: how you have deceived! you have taken away one letter.

nimis quidem hic truculentust. TRVC. Pergin male loqui, mulier, mihi? 265
AST. Quid tibi ego male dico? TRVC. Quia enim me truncum lentum nominas.

indeed this fellow is too truculent. TRVC. Do you keep on speaking ill, woman, at me? 265
AST. What ill do I say to you? TRVC. Because, in fact, you call me a “truncus lentus,” a pliant stump.

nunc adeo, nisi abis actutum aut dicis quid quaeras cito,
iam hercle ego hic te, mulier, quasi sus catulos pedibus proteram.
AST. Rus merum hoc quidemst. TRVC. Pudendumst vero clurinum pecus.

now indeed, unless you go off at once or say what you seek quickly,
right now, by Hercules, I here will trample you, woman, with my feet like a sow her piglets.
AST. This is pure country indeed. TRVC. Shameful, truly, you clodhopper cattle.

advenisti huc te ostentatum, cum exornatis ossibus, 270
quia tibi suaso infecisti propudiosa pallulam?
[an eo bella es, quia accepisti armillas aeneas?]
A. Nunc places, cum mi inclementer dicis. T. Quid hoc quod te rogo?

you have come here to show yourself off, with your bones adorned, 270
because, with you persuaded, you have imbued your disgraceful little mantle?
[or are you pretty for that reason, because you received bronze bracelets?]
A. Now you please me, when you speak inclemently to me. T. What of this that I ask you?

mancupion qui accipias, gestas tecum ahenos anulos?
pignus da ni ligneae haec sunt quas habes Victorias. 275
AST. Ne attigas me. TRVC. Egon te tangam? ita me amabit sarculum,
ut ego me ruri amplexari mavelim patulam bovem
cumque ea noctem in stramentis pernoctare perpetem,
quam tuas centum cenatas noctes mihi dono dari.

so that you may take by mancipation, do you carry bronze rings with you?
give a pledge—unless those Victories which you have are wooden. 275
AST. Do not touch me. TRVC. I touch you? so may my hoe love me,
that I would rather in the country embrace a broad cow
and with her pass an entire night on straw,
than have a hundred of your after-supper nights given to me as a gift.

rus tu mi opprobras? ut nancta es hominem quem pudeat probri! 280
sed quid apud nostras negoti, mulier, est aedis tibi?
quid tu huc occursas, in urbem quotienscumque advenimus?

you reproach me with the countryside? how you’ve chanced upon a man whom a disgrace would shame! 280
but what business have you, woman, at our house?
why do you run up here, whenever we come to the city?

AST. Mulieres volo convenire vostras. TRVC. Quas tu mulieres
mihi narras, ubi musca nulla feminast in aedibus?
AST. Nullan istic mulier habitat?

AST. I want to meet your womenfolk. TRVC. What women are you telling me of, when no fly is female in the house?
AST. Does no woman live there?

TRVC. Rus, inquam, abierunt. abi. 285
AST. Quid clamas, insane? TRVC. Abire hinc ni properas grandi gradu,
iam hercle ego istos fictos compositos crispos cincinnos tuos
unguentatos usque ex cerebro exvellam.

TRVC. To the country, I say, they have gone away. Be off. 285
AST. Why are you shouting, madman? TRVC. If you don’t hasten to go away from here at a grand stride,
right now, by Hercules, I will pluck those feigned, composed, crisp ringlets of yours unguented, out all the way from your brain.

AST. Quanam gratia?
TRVC. Quia ad foris nostras unguentis uncta es ausa accedere
quiaque istas buccas tam belle purpurissatas habes. 290
AST. Erubui mecastor misera propter clamorem tuom.
TRVC. Itane?

AST. For what reason?
TRVC. Because, anointed with unguents, you dared to approach our doors, and because you have those cheeks so nicely rouged. 290
AST. By Castor, poor me, I blushed because of your shouting.
TRVC. Is that so?

erubuisti? quasi vero corpori reliqueris
tuo potestatem coloris ulli capiendi, mala.
buccas rubrica, creta omne corpus intinxti tibi.

have you blushed? as if indeed you had left to your body the power of taking any color at all, you hussy.
your cheeks you’ve done with red ocher, with chalk you have dipped your whole body for yourself.
buccas with rubric, with chalk you have steeped all your body.

pessumae estis. AST. Quid est quod vobis pessumae haec male fecerint? 295
T. Scio ego plus quam tu arbitrare scire me. A. Quid id obsecrost
quod scias? TRVC. Erilis noster filius apud vos Strabax
ut pereat, ut eum inliciatis in malam fraudem et probrum.

you are the worst. AST. What is it that these worst women have done ill to you? 295
T. I know that I know more than you suppose. A. Pray, what
is it that you know? TRVC. That our master’s son Strabax is among you
so that he may perish, that you may entice him into wicked fraud and opprobrium.

AST. Sanus si videare, dicam: dicis contumeliam.
nemo homo hic solet perire apud nos: res perdunt suas; 300
ubi res perdidere, abire hinc, si volunt, salvis licet.
ego istunc non novi adulescentem vostrum.

AST. If you appear sane, I’ll say it: you speak contumely.
No man here is wont to perish with us: they lose their goods; 300
when they’ve lost their goods, to go away from here, if they wish, is permitted safe.
I do not know that young man of yours.

TRVC. Veron serio?
quid maceria illa ait, in horto quae est, quae in noctes singulas
latere fit minor, qua istoc ad vos damni permensust viam?
AST. Nil mirum (vetus est maceria) lateres si veteres ruont. 305
TRVC. Ain tu vero veteres lateres ruere?

TRVC. Really, in earnest?
what does that wall say, the one in the garden, which on each single night becomes smaller by a brick, along which that fellow there has measured out to you a road of loss?
AST. Nothing strange (the wall is old), if the old bricks are collapsing. 305
TRVC. Do you indeed say that old bricks collapse?

numquam edepol mihi
quisquam homo mortalis posthac duarum rerum creduit,
ni ego vostra ero maiori facta denarravero.
AST. Estne item violentus ut tu? TRVC. Non enim ille meretriculis
munerandis rem coegit, verum parsimonia 310
duritiaque: quae nunc ad vos clam exportantur, pessumae;
ea vos estis exunguimini ebibitis. egone haec mussitem?

Never, by Pollux, will any mortal man hereafter trust me in two matters,
unless I shall have recounted the greater deeds of your mistress. AST. Is he likewise violent as you? TRVC. For he did not gather his means for rewarding little prostitutes,
but by parsimony 310
and durity: which now are clandestinely exported to you, you worst women;
those you strip off, you drink them dry. Am I to hush these things?

iam quidem hercle ibo ad forum atque haec facta narrabo seni,
neque istuc insegesti tergo coget examen mali.—
AST. Si ecastor hic homo sinapi victitet, non censeam 315
tam esse tristem posse. at pol ero benevolens visust suo.
verum ego illum, quamquam violentust, spero inmutari pote
blandimentis, oramentis, ceteris meretriciis;
vidi equom ex indomito domitum fieri atque alias beluas.

Now indeed, by Hercules, I will go to the forum and tell these deeds to the old man,
nor will that swarm of evil, heaped upon his back, muster.—
AST. If, by Castor, this man were to live on mustard, I would not reckon 315
that he could be so sad. But, by Pollux, he seems well-disposed to his master.
but I hope that man, although he is violent, can be changed by blandishments, by entreaties, and by the other meretricious arts;
I have seen a horse from untamed made tame, and other wild beasts as well.

nunc ad eram revidebo. <sed> eccum odium progreditur meum. 320
tristis exit.

now I will go back to my mistress. <but> look, my bane comes forward. 320
he goes out gloomy.

haud convenit etiam hic dum Phronesium.

Phronesium has not yet come here.

II.iii
DINIARCHVS Piscis ego credo, qui usque dum vivont lavant,
minus diu lavare quam haec lavat Phronesium.
si proinde amentur, mulieres diu quam lavant,
omnes amantes balneatores sient. 325
AST. Non quis parumper durare opperirier?
DIN. Quin hercle lassus iam sum durando miser:
mihi quoque prae lassitudine opus est <ut> lavem.

2.3
DINIARCHVS I think fish, who, so long as they live, lave, lave for less time than this Phronesium laves.
if women were loved as long as they lave, all lovers would be bath-attendants. 325
AST. Couldn’t one endure to wait a little while?
DIN. Why, by Hercules, I am already weary from enduring, poor wretch that I am:
I too, from weariness, have need to lave.

sed obsecro hercle, Astaphium, <i> intro ac nuntia
me adesse, ut properet suade, iam ut satis laverit. 330
A. Licet. D. Audin etiam? A. Quid vis?

but I beg, by Hercules, Astaphium, <i> go inside and announce
that I am here; urge her to hasten, now that she has washed enough. 330
A. All right. D. Do you hear, too? A. What do you want?

D. Di me perduint,
qui te revocavi. non tibi dicebam 'i' modo?
AST. Quidnam revocabas?

D. May the gods ruin me
for having called you back. Was I not just telling you, 'go'?
AST. What were you calling me back for?

improbu's nihilique homo:
tute tibi mille passum peperisti moram.—
DIN. Sed quid haec hic autem tam diu ante aedis stetit? 335
nescio quem praestolata est; credo, militem.
illum student iam; quasi volturii triduo
prius praedivinant, quo die esuri sient:
illum inhiant omnes, illi est animus omnibus;
me nemo magis respiciet, ubi is [est] huc venerit, 340
quasi abhinc ducentos annos fuerim mortuos.
ut rem servare suave est!

You’re shameless and a man of no account:
you yourself have procured for yourself a delay of a mile.—
DIN. But why has this woman stood here so long in front of the house? 335
She’s been waiting for I-know-not-whom; I believe, a soldier.
They court him now; like vultures they, three days
beforehand, fore-divine on what day they will be hungry:
they all gape after him; on him is everyone’s heart;
no one will look back at me any longer, when he has come here, 340
as if I had been dead for two hundred years.
How pleasant it is to preserve one’s estate!

vae misero mihi,
post factum flector, qui antepartum perdidi.
verum nunc si qua mi obtigerit hereditas
magna atque luculenta, nunc postquam scio 345
dulce atque amarum quid sit ex pecunia,
ita ego illam edepol servem itaque parce victitem,
ut — nulla faxim cis dies paucos siet;
ego istos, qui nunc me culpant, confutaverim.
sed aestuosas sentio aperiri fores, 350
quae obsorbent quidquid venit intra pessulos.

woe to wretched me,
I bend after the deed, I who ruined the gain beforehand.
but now, if any inheritance should befall me,
great and splendid, now after I know 345
what is sweet and bitter from money,
so by Pollux would I keep it and so thriftily would I live,
that — I’ll make sure that within a few days there’s nothing;
I will confute those who now blame me.
but I sense the sultry doors being opened, 350
which absorb whatever comes within the door-bolts.

II.iv
PHRONESIVM Num tibi nam, amabo, ianua est mordax mea,
quo intro ire metuas, mea voluptas? DIN. Ver vide,
ut tota floret, ut olet, ut nitide nitet.
PHRON. Quid tam inficetu's, Lemno adveniens qui tuae 355
non des amicae, Diniarche, savium?

2.4
PHRONESIVM Pray, is my doorway mordacious, please, that you are afraid to go in, my delight? DIN. Truly, look, how all of it flourishes, how it is fragrant, how nitidly it shines.
PHRON. How so inelegant are you, arriving from Lemnos, Diniarchus, that you do not give your girlfriend a kiss? 355

DIN. Vah, vapulo hercle ego nunc, atque adeo male.
PHRON. Quo te avortisti? DIN. Salva sis, Phronesium.

DIN. Ugh, by Hercules I’m getting a beating now, and indeed badly.
PHRON. Where have you turned yourself away? DIN. Be safe, Phronesium.

PHRON. Salve. hicine hodie cenas, salvos cum advenis?
DIN. Promisi.

PHRON. Hello. Are you dining here today, since you arrive safe and sound?
DIN. I promised.

PHRON. Vbi cenabis? DIN. Vbi tu iusseris. 360
PHRON. Hic me lubente facies. DIN. Edepol me magis.

PHRON. Where will you dine? DIN. Wherever you order. 360
PHRON. Here you will do it, with me willing. DIN. By Pollux, even more with me.

nempe tu eris hodie mecum, mea Phronesium?
PHRON. Velim, si fieri possit. DIN. Cedo soleas mihi,
properate, auferte mensam.

surely you will be with me today, my Phronesium?
PHRON. I would wish it, if it could be done. DIN. Hand over the sandals to me,
hurry, remove the table.

PHRON. Amabo, sanun es?
DIN. Non edepol bibere possum iam, ita animo malest. 365
PHRON. Mane, aliquid fiet, ne abi. DIN. Ah, aspersisti aquam.
iam rediit animus.

PHRON. Please, are you sane?
DIN. By Pollux, I cannot drink now, so bad it is with my spirit. 365
PHRON. Wait, something will be done; do not go. DIN. Ah, you have sprinkled water.
now my spirit has returned.

deme soleas, cedo bibam.
PHRON. Idem es mecastor qui soles. sed dic mihi,
benene ambulatumst?

take off my sandals, hand it here, let me drink.
PHRON. By Castor, you are the same as you are wont. But tell me,
was the walk good?

DIN. Huc quidem hercle ad te bene,
quia tui videndi copia est. PHRON. Complectere. 370
DIN. Lubens. heia, hoc est melle dulci dulcius.

DIN. Here indeed, by Hercules, it’s good with you,
since there is an opportunity of seeing you. PHRON. Embrace me. 370
DIN. Willingly. hey, this is sweeter than sweet honey.

hoc tuis fortunis, Iuppiter, praestant meae.
PHRON. Dan savium? DIN. Immo vel decem.

in this, your fortunes, Jupiter, are surpassed by mine.
PHRON. Do you give a kiss? DIN. Nay, even ten.

PHRON. Em istoc pauper es:
<semper> plus pollicere quam ego abs te postulo.
DIN. Vtinam a principio rei item parsisses meae 375
ut nunc reparcis saviis. PHRON. Si quid tibi
compendi facere possim, factum edepol velim.

PHRON. Lo, in that you are poor:
<always> you promise more than I ask from you. DIN. Would that from the beginning of my affair you had spared me likewise, 375
as now you spare kisses. PHRON. If I could make any saving for you, by Pollux I would wish it done.

DIN. Iam lauta es? PHRON. Iam pol mihi quidem atque oculis meis.
num tibi sordere videor? DIN. Non pol mihi quidem;
verum tempestas, memini, quondam <etiam> fuit, 380
cum inter nos sordebamus alter de altero.

DIN. Are you spruce now? PHRON. Now, by Pollux, indeed, both to me and to my eyes.
do I seem to you to be sordid? DIN. Not, by Pollux, indeed, to me;
but there was a season, I remember, once <even>, 380
when between us we used to seem sordid, each to the other.

sed quid ego facinus audivi adveniens tuom,
quod tu hic me absente novi negoti gesseris?
PHRON. Quid id est? DIN. Primumdum, cum tu es aucta liberis
cumque bene provenisti salva, gaudeo. 385
PHRON. Concedite hinc vos intro atque operite ostium.

but what deed of yours did I hear on arriving,
that you here, in my absence, have carried on some new business?
PHRON. What is that? DIN. First of all, since you are augmented with children,
and since you have come through well and safe, I rejoice. 385
PHRON. Withdraw from here inside and cover the door.

tu nunc superstes solus sermoni meo es.
tibi mea consilia summa semper credidi.
equidem neque peperi puerum neque praegnas fui;
verum adsimulavi me esse praegnatem: haud nego. 390
DIN. Quem propter, o mea vita? PHRON. Propter militem
Babyloniensem, qui quasi uxorem sibi
me habebat anno, dum hic fuit.

you now are the sole survivor to my discourse.
to you I have always entrusted my highest counsels.
indeed I neither bore a boy nor was I pregnant;
but I simulated that I was pregnant: I do not deny it. 390
DIN. On account of whom, O my life? PHRON. On account of a Babylonian soldier,
who had me as if a wife to himself for a year, while he was here.

DIN. Ego senseram.
sed quid istuc? cui rei te adsimulare retulit?

DIN. I had sensed it.
but what is that? for what purpose did it avail you to simulate yourself?

PHRON. Vt esset aliquis laqueus et redimiculum, 395
reversionem ut ad me faceret denuo.
nunc huc remisit nuper ad me epistulam,
sese experturum quanti sese penderem:
si quod peperissem id <non> necarem ac tollerem,
bona sua med habiturum omnia [esse]. DIN. Ausculto lubens. 400
quid denique agitis?

PHRON. So that there might be some snare and ribbon, 395
that he might make a return to me anew.
now he has recently sent a letter here to me,
saying he would make trial of how much I valued myself:
if whatever I had borne I should <non> kill but raise,
I would have all his goods [esse]. DIN. I listen gladly. 400
what, finally, are you doing?

PHRON. Mater ancillas iubet,
quoniam iam decimus mensis adventat prope,
aliam aliorsum ire, praemandare et quaerere
puerum aut puellam, qui supponatur mihi.
quid multa verba faciam? tonstricem Suram 405
novisti nostram, quae mercedem sese habet?~
DIN. Novi.

PHRON. Mother orders the maidservants,
since now the tenth month is drawing near,
one to go one way, another another way, to give advance notice and to seek
a boy or a girl who may be substituted for me.
why should I make many words? Sura the barber-woman 405
you know our woman, who hires herself out for a fee?~
DIN. I know.

PHRON. Haec ut opera circumit, per familias,
puerum vestigat; clanculum ad me detulit,
datum sibi esse dixit. DIN. O mercis malae.
eum nunc non illa peperit, quae peperit prior, 410
sed tu posterior.

PHRON. As she goes about this work, through households,
she tracks a boy; clandestinely she brought word to me,
said that it had been given to her. DIN. O bad merchandise.
him now not that woman bore, who bore prior, 410
but you, the posterior.

PHRON. Ordine omnem rem tenes.
nunc ut praemisit nuntium miles mihi,
non multo post hic aderit. DIN. Nunc tu te interim
quasi pro puerpera hic procuras?

PHRON. In order you hold the whole matter.
now, since the soldier has sent ahead a messenger to me,
not long after he will be here. DIN. Now are you in the meantime
attending here as if for a woman in childbed?

PHRON. Quippini,
ubi sine labore res geri pulcre potest? 415
ad suom quemque aequom est quaestum esse callidum.
DIN. Quid me futurum est, quando miles venerit?
relictusne abs te vivam?

PHRON. Why not,
where the matter can be carried on handsomely without labor? 415
it is just that each be cunning for his own gain.
DIN. What will become of me, when the soldier comes?
shall I, left by you, live?

PHRON. Vbi illud quod volo
habebo ab illo, facile inveniam quo modo
divortium et discordiam inter nos parem: 420
post id ego [totum] tecum, mea voluptas, usque ero
assiduo. DIN. Immo hercle vero accubuo mavelim.
PHRON. [quin] Dis hodie sacruficare pro puero volo,
quinto die quod fieri oportet.

PHRON. When I shall have that which I want from him, I shall easily find how I may prepare divorce and discord between us: 420
after that I, [entirely], with you, my delight, will be continually, assiduously. DIN. Nay, by Hercules indeed, I would rather recline. PHRON. [Well then] I want to sacrifice to the gods today on behalf of the boy, as ought to be done on the fifth day.

DIN. Censeo.
PHRON. Non audes aliquid mihi dare munusculum? 425
DIN. Lucrum hercle videor facere mi, voluptas mea,
ubi quippiam me poscis. PHRON. At ego, ubi abstuli.

DIN. I think so.
PHRON. Won’t you dare give me some little gift? 425
DIN. By Hercules, I seem to be making profit for myself, my delight,
whenever you ask me for anything. PHRON. But I do, when I have carried it off.

DIN. Iam faxo hic aderit. servolum huc mittam meum.
PHRON. Sic facito.

DIN. I will see to it he is here at once. I will send my slave-boy here.
PHRON. Do so.

DIN. Quidquid attulerit, boni consulas.
PHRON. Ecastor munus te curaturum scio, 430
ut cuius me non paeniteat mittatur mihi.
DIN. Num quippiam aliud me vis?

DIN. Whatever he brings, count it for good.
PHRON. By Castor, I know you will see to the gift, 430
so that one may be sent to me of which I shall not repent.
DIN. Do you want anything else from me?

PHRON. Vt quando otium
tibi sit ad me revisas, <et> valeas — DIN. Vale.
pro di immortales, non amantis mulieris,
sed sociae unanimantis, fidentis fuit 435
officium facere quod modo haec fecit mihi,
suppositionem pueri quae mihi credidit,
germanae quod sorori non credit soror.
ostendit sese iam mihi medullitus:
scio mi infidelem numquam, dum vivat, fore. 440
egone illam ut non amem?

PHRON. That whenever you have leisure
you revisit me, <and> may you be well — DIN. Farewell.
by the immortal gods, it was not the duty of a loving woman,
but of a unanimous, trusting companion, to do 435
the service which she has just done for me,
the substitution of the boy which she entrusted to me,
a thing which a sister does not entrust to her full sister.
she has now shown herself to me to the marrow:
I know that to me she will never, so long as she lives, be unfaithful. 440
Am I then not to love her?

egone illi ut non bene velim?
me potius non amabo quam huic desit amor.
ego isti non munus mittam?

I—should I not be benevolent toward her?
I would sooner not love myself than that love be lacking to her.
I—shall I not send her a gift?

iam ~ modo ex hoc loco
iubebo ad istam quinque deferri minas,
praeterea obsonari <una> dumtaxat mina. 445
multo illi potius bene erit quae bene volt mihi,
quam mihi, qui mihimet omnia facio mala.—

now ~ right from this place
I will order five minae to be delivered to that woman,
and, moreover, for provisions to be bought, <one> mina only. 445
it will go much better for her, who wishes me well,
than for me, who do every harm to my very self.—

II.v
PHRONESIVM Puero isti date mammam. ut miserae
matres sollicitaeque ex animo sumus cruciamurque! 449-450
edepol commentum male, cumque eam rem in corde agito, 451
nimio — minus perhibemur malae quam sumus ingenio.
ego prima de me, domo docta, dico.

2.5
PHRONESIVM Give the breast to that boy. How we miserable and solicitous mothers are at heart and are tormented! 449-450
by Pollux, a bad contrivance—and whenever I turn that matter over in my heart, 451
by far—we are reported less evil than we are in our natural disposition. I, first, about myself, home-taught, speak.

quanta est cura in animo, quantum corde capio  454-455
dolorem — dolus ne occidat morte pueri:       456
mater dicta quod sum, eo magis studeo vitae;
quae ausa hunc sum, tantundem dolum <nunc> adgrediar.
lucri causa avara probrum sum exsecuta,
alienos dolores mihi supposivi;             460
<sed> nullam rem oportet dolose adgrediri,
nisi astu totam accurateque exsequare.
vosmet iam videtis, ut ornata incedo:
puerperio ego nunc med esse aegram adsimulo.

how great is the care in my mind, how much pain I take to heart  454-455
the pain — lest the trick be killed by the boy’s death:       456
because I am called “mother,” so much the more am I zealous for his life;
since I have dared this, I will undertake just as much trickery.
for the sake of lucre, greedy, I have carried out a disgrace,
I have imposed upon myself another’s pains;             460
<but> no affair ought to be approached deceitfully,
unless you carry the whole thing through by astuteness and accurately.
you yourselves now see how adorned I go:
I now simulate that I am ill with childbed.

male quod mulier facere incepit, nisi <id> efficere perpetrat,   465
id illi morbo, id illi seniost, ea illi miserae miseriast;
bene si facere incepit, eius rei nimis cito odium percipit.
nimis quam paucae sunt defessae, male quae facere occeperunt,
nimisque paucae efficiunt, si quid facere occeperunt bene:
mulieri nimio male facere levius onus est quam bene.         470
ego quod mala sum, matris opera mala sum et meapte malitia,
quae me gravidam esse adsimulavi militi Babylonio:
eam nunc malitiam accuratam miles inveniat volo.
is hic haud multo post, credo, aderit; nunc prius praecaveo sciens
sumque ornata ita ut aegra videar, quasi puerperio cubem.              475
date mi huc stactam atque ignem in aram, ut venerem Lucinam meam.

what a woman has begun to do ill, unless she accomplishes and perpetrates it,   465
that is to her a sickness, that is to her senility, that is wretchedness to that wretched woman;
if she has begun to do well, she very quickly takes on hatred of that thing.
all too few grow weary who have begun to do ill,
and all too few effect what they have begun, if it is something good:
for a woman, to do ill is by far a lighter burden than to do well.         470
As for me, that I am bad, by my mother’s doing I am bad and by my own malice,
since I pretended I was pregnant to the Babylonian soldier:
I want the soldier now to find that knavery executed to a nicety.
he will be here not long hence, I believe; now I first take precautions, being aware,
and I am arrayed so as to seem sick, as if I were lying in childbed.              475
give me here stacte and fire on the altar, that I may venerate my Lucina.

hic apponite atque abite ab oculis. eho, Pithecium,
face ut accumbam, accede, adiuta. em sic decet puerperam.

set it here and go away out of my sight. hey, Pithecium,
see that I lie down; come near, help me. there—so it befits a woman in childbed.

soleas mihi deduce, pallium inice in me huc, Archilis.
ubi es, Astaphium? fer huc verbenam mi intus et bellaria. 480
date aquam manibus.

remove my sandals for me, throw a cloak onto me here, Archilis.
where are you, Astaphium? bring here verbena for me from inside and confections. 480
give water for my hands.

nunc ecastor adveniat miles velim.

now, by Castor, I wish the soldier would arrive.

II.vi
STRATOPHANES Ne expectetis, spectatores, meas pugnas dum praedicem:
manibus duella praedicare soleo, haud in sermonibus.
scio ego multos memoravisse milites mendacium:
et Homeronida et postilla mille memorari pote, 485
qui et convicti et condemnati falsis de pugnis sient.
non laudandust cui plus credit qui audit quam <ille> qui videt:
[non placet quem illi plus laudant qui audiunt, quam qui vident.]
pluris est oculatus testis unus quam auriti decem;
qui audiunt audita dicunt, qui vident plane sciunt. 490
non placet quem scurrae laudant, manipularis mussitant,
neque illi quorum lingua gladiorum aciem praestringit domi.

2.6
STRATOPHANES Do not expect, spectators, that I proclaim my battles:
I am accustomed to proclaim duels with my hands, not in speeches.
I know that many soldiers have recounted a lie:
both a Homerid and after that a thousand can be mentioned, 485
who may be both convicted and condemned for falsehoods about fights.
He is not to be praised, he to whom the hearer gives more credit than <the one> who sees:
[he does not please whom those who hear praise more than those who see.]
one eye-witness is worth more than ten ear-witnesses;
those who hear say things heard; those who see plainly know. 490
he does not please whom buffoons praise, the rank-and-file mutter,
nor those whose tongue at home dulls the edge of swords.

strenui nimio plus prosunt populo quam arguti et cati:
facile sibi facunditatem virtus argutam invenit,
sine virtute argutum civem mihi habeam pro praefica, 495
quae alios conlaudat, eapse sese vero non potest.
nunc ad amicam decimo mense post Athenas Atticas
viso, quam gravidam hic reliqui meo compressu, quid ea agat.
PHRON. Vide quis loquitur tam propinque.

Strenuous men profit the people far more than the sharp and canny:
virtue easily finds for itself a sharp eloquence,
without virtue, let me have a sharp-tongued citizen as a praefica, 495
who praises others, but she herself truly cannot.
now, in the tenth month after Attic Athens, I go to visit my girlfriend,
whom I left here pregnant by my embrace, to learn how she fares.
PHRON. See who is speaking so near.

ASTAPHIVM Miles, mea Phronesium,
tibi adest Stratophanes. nunc tibi opust, aegram ut te adsimules. PH. Tace. 500
cui adhuc ego tam mala eram monetrix, me maleficio vinceres?

ASTAPHIVM Soldier, my Phronesium,
Stratophanes is at hand for you. Now you have need to feign yourself ill. PH. Be silent. 500
You, for whom I have hitherto been so bad a monitress, would you outdo me in mischief?

ST. Peperit mulier, ut ego opinor. A. Vin adeam ad hominem? PH. Volo.

ST. The woman has given birth, as I suppose. A. Do you want me to go to the man? PH. I do.

S. Euge, Astaphium eccam it mi advorsum. A. Salve ecastor, Stratophanes.
[venire] salvom <te> — STRAT. Scio.

S. Good! Astaphium, behold, here she comes toward me. A. Hail, by Castor, Stratophanes.
[to come] safe — STRAT. I know.

sed peperitne, opsecro, Phronesium?
AST. Peperit puerum nimium lepidum. STRAT. Ehem, ecquid mei similest? 505
AST. Rogas?

but has she given birth, pray, Phronesium?
AST. She has borne a boy exceedingly charming. STRAT. Ahem, is he at all like me? 505
AST. You ask?

quin ubi natust machaeram et clupeum poscebat sibi?
STRAT. Meus est, scio iam de argumentis. AST. Nimium tui similest.

why, didn’t he, when he was born, ask for a sword and a shield for himself?
STRAT. He is mine; I know now from the arguments. AST. Exceedingly similar to you.

STRAT. Papae,
iam magnust? iamne iit ad legionem? ecquae spolia rettulit?

STRAT. Good heavens,
is he already big? has he already gone to the legion? has he brought back any spoils?

AST. Heia, nudius quintus natus ille quidem est. STRAT. Quid postea?
inter tot dies quidem hercle iam aliquid actum oportuit. 510
quid illi ex utero exitiost prius quam poterat ire in proelium?

AST. Hey, five days ago he was indeed born. STRAT. What then?
in so many days, by Hercules, by now something ought to have been done. 510
what harm was it to him to come out of the womb before he could go into battle?

AST. Consequere atque illam saluta et gratulare illi. STRAT. Sequor.
PHRON. Vbi illa, obsecro, est quae me hic reliquit, eapse abiit?

AST. Follow and salute her and congratulate her. STRAT. I follow.
PHRON. Where is she, I beseech, who left me here—did she herself go away?

ubist?
A. Adsum, adduco tibi exoptatum Stratophanem. PH. Vbi is est, obsecro?

Where is she?
A. I am here; I bring to you the longed-for Stratophanes. PH. Where is he, I beg?

STRAT. Mars peregre adveniens salutat Nerienem uxorem suam. 515
quom tu recte provenisti quomque es aucta liberis,
gratulor, quom mihi tibique magnum peperisti decus.
PHRON. Salve, qui me interfecisti paene vita et lumine
quique mihi magni doloris per voluptatem tuam
condidisti in corpus, quo nunc etiam morbo misera sum. 520
STRAT. Heia, haud ab re, mea voluptas, tibi istic obvenit labos:
filium peperisti, qui aedis spoliis opplebit tuas.
PHRON. Multo ecastor magis oppletis tritici opust granariis,
ne, ille prius quam spolia capiat, hic nos extinxit fames.

STRAT. Mars, arriving from abroad, greets Neriene his wife. 515
since you have come through rightly and since you have been augmented with children,
I congratulate you, since you have borne a great glory for me and for you.
PHRON. Hail, you who almost killed me of life and of light,
and who, for your pleasure, planted in my body a great pain,
by which disease I am even now wretched. 520
STRAT. Hey, not out of place, my delight, that toil has befallen you there:
you have borne a son, who will fill your house with spoils.
PHRON. By Castor, there is much more need that the granaries be filled with wheat,
lest, before he takes spoils, hunger here extinguish us.

STRAT. Habe bonum animum. PHRON. Savium pete hinc sis. ah, nequeo caput 525
tollere, ita dolet itaque ego ~ medulo, neque etiam queo
pedibus mea sponte ambulare.

STRAT. Have good spirit. PHRON. Seek a kiss from here, please. ah, I cannot lift my head 525
so it hurts, and so I ache to the marrow, nor even am I able
to walk on my feet of my own accord.

STRAT. Si hercle me ex medio mari
savium petere tuom iubeas, petere hau pigeat [me], mel meum.
id ita esse experta es: nunc experiere, mea Phronesium,
me te amare. adduxi ancillas tibi eccas ex Suria duas, 530
is te dono.

STRAT. If, by Hercules, you were to order me from the middle of the sea
to seek your kiss, it would not irk me to seek it, my honey.
You have proven that to be so: now you shall experience, my Phronesium,
that I love you. I have brought here for you—look—two maidservants from Syria, 530
them I give to you as a gift.

adduce hoc tu istas. sed istae reginae domi
suae fuerunt ambae, earum patriam ego excidi manu.
his te dono.

bring those here. but those were queens at their own home,
both of them; their fatherland I razed by my hand.
these I give to you.

PHRON. Paenitetne te quot ancillas alam,
quin examen super adducas, quae mihi comedint cibum?
ST. Hoc quidem herclest ingratum donum. cedo tu mi istam purpuram.

PHRON. Are you sorry for how many maidservants I feed, that you even bring in a swarm besides, who will eat my food?
ST. This indeed, by Hercules, is an ingrate gift. Hand over to me that purple robe.

535
mea voluptas, attuli eccam pallulam ex Phrygia tibi.
tene tibi. PHRON. Hocine mi ob labores tantos tantillum dari?

535
my delight, I’ve brought—see here—this little pallium from Phrygia for you.
keep it for yourself. PHRON. Is this, then, so tiny a thing to be given me for such great labors?

STRAT. Perii hercle <ego> miser. iam <mi> auro contra constat filius:
~etiam num mali pendit addit purpuram. ex Arabia tibi
attuli tus, Ponto amomum.

STRAT. I have perished, by Hercules, wretch that I am. Now my son costs me, in counter-payment, in gold:
~and even now, for my misfortune she exacts payment—she adds purple. From Arabia I brought you frankincense, from Pontus amomum.

tene tibi, voluptas mea. 540
PHRON. Accipe hoc, <Astaphium,> abduce hasce hinc e conspectu Suras.
S. Ecquid amas me? PH. Nihil ecastor, neque meres. S. Nilne huic sat est?

keep it for yourself, my delight. 540
PHRON. Take this, <Astaphium,> lead these Syrians away from here, out of sight.
S. Do you love me at all? PH. Not a whit, by Castor, nor do you deserve it. S. Is nothing enough for him?

ne bonum verbum quidem unum dixit. viginti minis
venire illaec posse credo dona quae ei dono dedi.
vehementer nunc mi est irata, sentio atque intellego; 545
verum abibo.

Not even a single good word did she say.
I think those gifts—which I gave to her as a gift—could go for twenty minas.
Now she is vehemently angry at me, I feel and I understand; 545
but I will be off.

quid ais? nunc tu num nevis me, voluptas mea,
quo vocatus sum ire ad cenam? mox huc cubitum venero.

What do you say? Now do you not want me, my delight, to go where I have been invited to dinner? Soon I will come here to bed.

quid taces? planissume edepol perii. sed quid illuc novi est?

why are you silent? most plainly, by Pollux, I have perished. but what is new in that?

quis <hic> homost, qui ducit pompam tantam? certumst quo ferant
observare. huic credo fertur.

who is this <hic> man, who leads so great a pomp? it is certain to observe where they are carrying it;
to this one, i believe, it is being borne.

verum iam scibo magis. 550

But now I shall know more. 550

II.vii
CYAMVS Ite ite hac simul, mulieri damnigeruli,
foras egerones, bonorum exagogae.
satin, si quis amat, nequit quin nihili sit atque improbis se artibus expoliat?
nam hoc qui sciam, ne quis id quaerat ex me,
domist qui facit improba facta amator, 555
qui bona sua pro stercore habet, foras iubet ferri, metuit
<ne> apud nos <non> mundissimum sit;
puras sibi esse volt aedis: domi quidquid habet, eicitur exo.

2.7
CYAMUS Go, go this way together, you harm-bearers to a woman,
out-haulers, exporters of goods.
is it really so that, if anyone loves, he cannot but be worth nothing and despoil himself by improper arts?
for how I know this—so that no one ask it of me—
there is at home a lover who does improper deeds, 555
who holds his goods as dung, orders them to be carried outside, fears
<lest> with us it <not> be most clean;
he wants his house to be pure for himself: whatever he has at home, is thrown out outdoors.

quandoquidem ipsus perditum se it, secreto hercle equidem eum adiutabo,
neque mea quidem opera umquam hilo minus propere quam pote peribit. 560
nam iam de hoc obsonio de mina deminui una modo
quinque nummos: mihi detraxi partem Herculaneam.
nam hoc adsimile est quasi de fluvio qui aquam derivat sibi:
nisi derivetur, tamen omnis ea aqua abeat in mare;
nam hoc in mare abit misereque perit sine bona omni gratia. 565
haec cum video fieri, suffuror suppilo,
de praeda praedam capio.
meretricem ego item esse reor, mare ut est:
quod des devorat <nec dat>is umquam abundat.

since, seeing that he himself is going to ruin, secretly—by Hercules—indeed I will help him along,
nor, by my doing, will he ever perish a whit less swiftly than he can. 560
for already, from this market-purchase, from the mina, I have diminished by only five coins:
I have deducted for myself a Herculean portion. For this is like a man who draws off water for himself from a river:
unless some be drawn off, still all that water goes away into the sea;
for this goes into the sea and perishes miserably without any good thanks at all. 565
when I see these things happening, I steal by stealth, I pilfer,
from the plunder I take plunder. I think a prostitute likewise is as the sea is:
what you give it, it devours, and it never abounds in gifts.

hoc saltem: <rem> servat nec ulli ubi sit apparet: 570
des quantumvis, nusquam apparet, neque datori neque acceptrici.
velut haec meretrix meum erum miserum sua blanditia
<paene> intulit in pauperiem:
privabit bonis, luce, honore atque amicis.
attat, eccam adest propinque.

at least this: she keeps the <thing> and to no one does it appear where it is: 570
give as much as you like, it appears nowhere, neither to the giver nor to the recipient.
just as this harlot by her blandishment has <almost> brought my poor master
into poverty:
she will deprive him of goods, light, honor, and friends.
ah! look, here she is close by.

credo audisse haec me loqui. 575
pallida est, ut peperit puerum. adloquar quasi nesciam.

I believe she has heard me speaking these things. 575
She is pallid, as though she had borne a child. I will address her as though I were unaware.

iubeo vos salvere. PHRON. Noster Cyame, quid agis? ut vales?

I bid you be well. PHRON. Our Cyamus, what are you doing? How are you?

CYAM. Valeo, et venio ad minus valentem, et melius qui valeat fero.
erus meus, ocellus tuos, ad te ferre me haec iussit tibi
dona quae vides illos ferre, et has quinque argenti minas. 580
PHRON. Pol haud perit quod illum tantum amo.

CYAM. I am well, and I come to one less well, and I bear what will make him fare better.
my master, your little eye (darling), ordered me to carry to you these gifts which you see those men bearing, and these five silver minas. 580
PHRON. By Pollux, it does not go to waste that I love him so much.

CYAM. Iussit orare, ut haec grata haberes tibi.
PH. Grata acceptaque ecastor habeo. iube <vasa> auferri intro, i Cyame.

CYAM. He ordered me to entreat that you would hold these things as pleasing to you.
PH. By Castor, I hold them pleasing and accepted. Order the <vessels> to be carried inside, go, Cyame.

AST. Ecquid auditis, haec quae iam <Cyamo> imperat?
CYAM. Vasa nolo auferant: desiccari iube. 585
A. Impudens mecastor, Cyame, es. C. Egone? A. Tu. C. Bona fide?

AST. Do you hear at all, what she is now ordering <Cyamo>?
CYAM. I do not want them to carry off the vessels: order them to be dried. 585
A. By Castor, you are impudent, Cyamus. C. I? A. You. C. Bona fide?

tune ais me impudentem esse, ipsa quae sis stabulum flagiti?
PHRON. Dic, amabo te, ubi est Diniarchus? CYAM. Domi.

do you say that I am impudent, you yourself who are a stable of scandal?
PHRON. Speak, please, where is Diniarchus? CYAM. At home.

PHRON. Dic ob haec dona, quae ad me <hodie> miserit,
me illum amare plurimum omnium hominum merito, 590
meque honorem illi habere omnium maxumum,
atque ut huc veniat <ad me> obsecrare. CYAM. Ilicet.
sed quisnam illic homost, qui ipsus se comest, tristis, oculis malis?

PHRON. Say because of these gifts, which he has sent to me <today>,
that I love him very much, most of all men, deservedly, 590
and that I pay him the greatest honor of all,
and beseech that he come here <to me>. CYAM. All right.
but who is that man there, who eats himself up, gloomy, with evil eyes?

animo hercle homost suo miser,
quisquis est. PHRON. Dignust mecastor. nequam est.

By Hercules, the man is miserable in his mind,
whoever he is. PHRON. He deserves it, by Castor. He is worthless.

non nosti, obsecro, 595
militem, hic apud me <qui> erat? huius pater pueri illic est.
usque abegi, aspuli, iussi abi<ret; tamen>
mansit: auscultat, observat quam rem agam.

you don’t know, I beg, 595
the soldier who was here with me? over there is this boy’s father.
I kept driving him off, pushing him away, I ordered him to go away; nevertheless
he stayed: he eavesdrops, he observes what I am doing.

C. Novi hominem nihili.
illicinest? PHRON. Illic est.

C. I know the man, a good-for-nothing.
Is he there? PHRON. He is there.

CYAM. Me intuetur gemens;
traxit ex intimo ventre suspiritum. 600
hoc vide, dentibus frendit, icit femur;
num obsecro nam hariolust, qui ipsus se verberat?
S. Nunc ego meos animos violentos meamque iram ex pectore iam promam.
loquere: unde es? cuius es? cur ausu's mi inclementer dicere?

CYAM. He looks at me, groaning;
he drew a sigh from his inmost belly. 600
see this: he gnashes with his teeth, he strikes his thigh;
pray, is he then a soothsayer, who himself beats himself?
S. Now I will bring forth my violent spirits and my ire from my breast forthwith.
speak: whence are you? whose are you? why have you dared to speak inclemently to me?

C. Lubitumst. 604-605
STRAT. Istucine mihi respondes? CYAM. Hoc.

C. I felt like it. 604-605
STRAT. Do you respond to me that way? CYAM. This.

non ego te flocci facio. 606
S. Quid tu? cur ausa es alium te dicere amare hominem? PH. Lubitumst.
STRAT. Ain tandem?

I do not value you a straw. 606
S. What about you? Why did you dare to say that you love another man? PH. I felt like it.
STRAT. Really, now?

istuc primum experiar. tun tantilli doni causa,
holerum atque escarum et poscarum, moechum malacum, cincinnatum, 609-610
umbraticulum, tympanotribam amas, hominem non nauci? C. Quae haec res? 611
meone [ero tu], improbe tu, male dicere <ero> audes, fons viti et peiuri?

I’ll try that first. Do you, for the sake of so tiny a gift,
of greens and victuals and posca, love a soft adulterer, curly‑locked, 609-610
a little shade‑dweller, a tambourine‑thrasher, a man not worth a whit? C. What is this thing? 611
Of my [master, you], you shameless one, do you dare to speak ill of the <master>, you fountain of vice and perjury?

S. Verbum unum adde istoc: iam hercle ego te hic hac offatim conficiam.
C. Tange modo, iam ego <te> hic agnum faciam et medium distruncabo.
si tu in legione bellator clues, at ego in culina clueo. 615
PH. Si aequom facias, adventores meos <non> incuses, quorum
mihi dona accepta et grata habeo, tuaque ingrata, quae abs te accepi.

S. Add just one word to that: by Hercules, I will here with this finish you off in pieces.
C. Only touch me, and I will make you a lamb here and tear you right down the middle.
if you are renowned as a warrior in the legion, then I am renowned in the kitchen. 615
PH. If you would do what is equitable, you would accuse my visitors, whose
gifts I hold as accepted and welcome, and yours as unwelcome, which I have received from you.

S. Tum pol ego et donis privatus sum et perii. PH. Plane istuc est.
CYAM. Quid nunc ergo hic odiosu's, confessus omnino reus?

S. Then, by Pollux, I am both deprived of the gifts and undone. PH. Plainly that is so.
CYAM. Why then are you such a nuisance here now, you, an outright confessed defendant?

S. Perii hercle hodie, nisi hunc a te abigo. C. Accede huc modo, adi huc modo. 620
S. Etiam, scelus viri, minitare? quem ego [offatim iam] iam iam concipilabo.

S. I have perished, by Hercules, today, unless I drive this fellow away from you. C. Just come here, just come up here. 620
S. What, you villain of a man, do you even menace? whom I [to satiety now] now now will completely pilfer.

quid tibi huc ventio est? quid tibi hanc aditio est?
quid tibi hanc notio est, inquam, amicam meam?

what is your coming here? what is your approach to her?
what acquaintance have you with her, I say—my girlfriend?

emoriere ocius, ni manu viceris.
CYAM. Quid, manu vicerim? STRAT. Fac quod iussi, mane. 625
iam ego te hic offatim conficiam, <sic> occidi te optumum est.

You will die quicker, unless you prevail by hand.
CYAM. What, prevail by hand? STRAT. Do what I ordered—wait. 625
now I will finish you off here piecemeal, <sic> to kill you is best.

CYAM. Captiost: istam machaeram longiorem habes quam haec est.
sed verum <me> sine dum petere: siquidem belligerandum est tecum,
adero, dum ego tecum, bellator, arbitrum aequom ceperim.
sed ego cesso hinc me amoliri, ventre dum salvo licet?

CYAM. I’m captured: you have that sword longer than this one is.
but truly allow <me> to go seek it for a moment: since there must be war-waging with you,
I’ll be present, warrior, once I have taken an equitable arbiter with you.
but do I delay to remove myself from here, while it is permitted, my belly being safe?

— 630

II.viii
PHRON. Datin soleas? atque me intro actutum ducite,
nam mihi de vento miserae condoluit caput.
STRAT. Quid mihi futurum est, cui duae ancillae dolent,
quibus te donavi?

2.8
PHRON. Will you give me slippers? And lead me inside forthwith,
for my wretched head has ached from the wind.
STRAT. What will become of me, I, for whom two maidservants are hurting—those to whom I presented you?

iamne abiisti? em sic datur.
quo pacto excludi, quaeso, potui planius, 635
quam exclusus nunc sum?

Have you gone already? There—so it’s handed out.
In what way, pray, could I have been shut out more plainly, 635
than I am shut out now?

pulcre ludificor. sine.
quantillo mi opere nunc persuaderi potest,
ut ego his suffringam talos totis aedibus.

I am finely made sport of. Let it be.
By how very little effort can I now be persuaded,
that I should break the ankles of these fellows throughout the whole house.

num quippiam tam immutat mores mulierum?
postquam filiolum peperit, animos sustulit. 640
nunc quasi mi dicat: nec te iubeo neque voto
intro ire in aedis. at ego nolo, non eo.
ego faxo dicat me in diebus pauculis
crudum virum esse.

Does anything so alter the mores of women? After she bore a little son, she lifted up her spirits. 640
Now as if she were saying to me: I neither order you nor wish you
to go inside into the house. But I do not want to; I do not go.
I will make sure she says, in a few days, that I am a raw husband.

sequere me hac. verbum sat est. —

follow me this way. a word is sufficient. —

ACTVS III

ACT 3

III.i
STRABAX Rus mane dudum hinc ire me iussit pater, 645
ut bubus glandem prandio depromerem.
post illoc quam veni, advenit, si dis placet,
ad villam argentum meo qui debebat patri,
qui ovis Tarentinas erat mercatus de patre.
quaerit patrem.

III.i
STRABAX To the countryside, early this morning, my father ordered me to go from here, 645
so that I might draw out acorns for the oxen for luncheon.
After I came there, there arrived, if it please the gods,
at the villa the man who owed cash to my father,
who had bought Tarentine sheep from father.
he is looking for father.

dico esse in urbe. interrogo, 650
quid eum velit ***
homo cruminam sibi de collo detrahit,
minas viginti mihi dat. accipio libens,
condo in cruminam.

I say he is in the city. I ask, 650
what he wants ***
the man takes a purse off his own neck,
gives me twenty minas. I accept gladly,
I put it away in the purse.

ille abit. ego propere minas
ovis in crumina hac in urbem detuli. 655
fuit edepol Mars meo periratus patri,
nam oves illius hau longe absunt a lupis.
nunc ego istos mundulos urbanos amasios
hoc ictu exponam atque omnis eiciam foras.

he goes off. I promptly carried the minae
for the sheep into the city in this purse. 655
by Pollux, Mars was thoroughly enraged at my father,
for his sheep are not far from the wolves.
now I those neat urbane paramours
with this stroke will expose and will eject them all out of doors.

eradicarest certum cumprimis patrem, 660
post id locorum matrem. nunc hoc deferam
argentum ad hanc, quam mage amo quam matrem meam.
tat, ecquis intust?

it was determined to eradicate, first and foremost, father, 660
after that, mother. Now I will carry this silver to her, whom I love more than my own mother.
tap, is anyone inside?

ecquis hoc aperit ostium?
ASTAPHIVM Quid istuc? alienun es, amabo, mi Strabax, 664-665
qui non extemplo <intro> ieris?

Will anyone open this door?
ASTAPHIUM What’s this? Are you a stranger, please, my Strabax, 664-665
that you have not gone inside at once <intro>?

STRAB. Anne oportuit? 666
AST. Ita te quidem, qui es familiaris. STRAB. Ibitur,
ne me morari censeas. AST. Lepide facis.

STRAB. Should I have? 666
AST. Yes indeed, you, who are a familiar. STRAB. I’ll go, then,
so you do not deem me to delay. AST. You do it neatly.

—

III.ii
TRVCVLENTVS Mirum videtur, rure erilem filium
Strabacem non rediisse; nisi si clanculum 670
conlapsus est hic in corruptelam suam.
AST. Iam pol illic inclamabit me si aspexerit.
TRVC. Nimio minus saevos iam sum, Astaphium, quam fui,
iam non <ego> sum truculentus, noli metuere.

3.2
TRVCVLENTVS It seems strange that the master’s son
Strabax has not returned from the country; unless perhaps secretly 670
he has here collapsed into his own corruption.
AST. Now, by Pollux, he’ll call out to me if he catches sight of me.
TRVC. I am by far less savage now, Astaphium, than I was,
now I am not <ego> truculent, do not fear.

AST. Quid vis? qui<d metuam>? tuam expecto truculentiam. 675
TRVC. Dic impera mihi quid libet quo vis modo.

AST. What do you want? Wha<t should I fear>? I await your truculence. 675
TRVC. Say, command me whatever you please in whatever way you wish.

novos omnis mores habeo, veteres perdidi.
vel amare possum vel iam scortum ducere.
AST. Lepide mecastor nuntias.

I have all new ways; I have lost the old ones.
Either I can love, or now even lead a courtesan home.
AST. Neatly, by Castor, you report.

sed dic mihi,
haben — TRVC. Marsipum te fortasse dicere? 680
AST. Intellexisti lepide quid ego dicerem.
STRAT. Heus tu, iam postquam in urbem crebro commeo,
dicax sum factus. iam sum caullator probus.

but tell me,
have yo— TRVC. Your purse, perhaps, you mean to say? 680
AST. You caught neatly what I was going to say.
STRAT. Hey, you—ever since I’ve been commuting often into the city,
I’ve become witty; now I’m a proper cavillator.

AST. Quid id est, amabo? istaec ridicularia,
cavillationes, vis opinor dicere? 685
STRAT. Istud pauxillum differt a cavillibus.
AST. Sequere intro [me], amabo, mea voluptas.

AST. What is that, please? these ridiculousnesses,
cavillations, you wish, I suppose, to say? 685
STRAT. That differs a very little from cavils.
AST. Follow me inside, please, my delight.

STRAT. Tene hoc tibi:
rabonem habeto, ut mecum hanc noctem sies.
AST. Perii, rabonem? quam esse dicam hanc beluam?

STRAT. Take this for yourself:
have an arrabon, so that you may be with me this night.
AST. I’m done for—an arrabon? What beast am I to say this monster is?

quin tu arrabonem dicis? STRAT. 'A' facio lucri, 690
ut Praenestinis conia est ciconia.
AST. Sequere, obsecro.

why don’t you say earnest-money? STRAT. I make an “A” of profit, 690
as for the Praenestines “conia” is “ciconia.”
AST. Follow, I beg.

STRAT. Strabacem hic opperiar modo,
si rure veniat. AST. Is quidem hic apud nos est Strabax,
modo rure venit. STRAT. Priusne quam ad matrem suam?

STRAT. I'll wait here for Strabax for the moment,
if he should come from the country. AST. Why, he is indeed here with us—Strabax—
he just came from the country. STRAT. Before going to his mother?

eu edepol hominem nihili. AST. Iamne autem ut soles? 695
STRAT. Iamne nihil dico? AST. I intro, amabo, cedo manum.

ah, by Pollux, a good-for-nothing fellow. AST. There you go already, as you always do? 695
STRAT. Am I already saying nothing? AST. Go in, please, give me your hand.

STRAT. Tene. in tabernam ducor devorsoriam,
ubi male accipiar mea mihi pecunia.—

STRAT. Take it. I am being led into a lodging-tavern,
where I shall be ill received at my own expense.—

ACTVS IV

ACT 4

IV.i
DINIARCHVS Neque gnatust neque progignetur neque potest reperirier
cui ego nunc <aut> dictum aut factum melius quam Veneri velim. 700
di magni, *** ut ego laetus sum et laetitia differor.
ita ad me magna nuntiavit Cyamus hodie gaudia:
mea dona deamata acceptaque habita esse apud Phronesium;
quom hoc iam volup est, tum illuc nimium magnae mellinae mihi,
militis odiosa ingrataque habita. totus gaudeo. 705
mea pila est: si repudiatur miles, mulier mecum erit.

4.1
DINIARCHUS Neither has there been born nor will there be begotten nor can there be found anyone to whom I would now wish either a word a deed better than to Venus. 700
great gods, *** how glad I am and how I am borne apart by gladness.
so great joys Cyamus has announced to me today:
that my gifts have been dearly loved and accepted with Phronesium;
since this is already a pleasure, then that is for me exceedingly great honey-sweets,
that the soldier has been held odious and ungrateful. I rejoice wholly. 705
the ball is mine: if the soldier is repudiated, the woman will be with me.

salvos sum, quia pereo; si non peream, plane perierim.
nunc speculabor quid ibi agatur, quis eat intro, qui foras
veniat; procul hinc observabo, meis quid fortunis fuat.
quia nihil habeo unum animos movi mi hic omnia agam precario~ 710

I am saved, because I perish; if I were not perishing, plainly I should have perished.
now I will keep watch what is being done there, who goes in, who comes out;
from afar here I will observe what becomes of my fortunes.
because I have nothing, I have set my mind on one thing: here I will do everything precariously~ 710

IV.ii
ASTAPHIVM Lepide efficiam meum ego officium: vide intus modo ut tu tuom
item efficias.
ama, id quod decet, rem tuam: istum exinani.
nunc dum isti lubet, dum habet, tempus ei rei ~ secundas
prome venustatem amanti tuam, ut gaudeat cum perdis.

IV.ii
ASTAPHIVM I’ll neatly accomplish my duty: only see inside
that you likewise accomplish yours.
love—what is fitting—your own interest: empty that fellow out.
now, while it pleases that one, while he has [means], it is the time for that business ~ set fair winds;
bring out your charm to your lover, so that he may rejoice as he loses it.

ego hic interim restitans praesidebo, 715
istic dum sic faciat domum ad te exagogam;
nec quemquam interim istoc ad vos, qui sit odio,
intro mittam: tu perge, ut lubet, ludo in istoc.
DIN. Quis istest, Astaphium, indica, qui perit? AST. Amabo, hicin tu eras?

I here meanwhile, standing fast, will preside, 715
while that fellow there thus makes the leading-out from the house to you;
nor meanwhile will I send anyone in thither to you who would be hateful,
you go on, as it pleases, with that sport.
DIN. Who is that, Astaphium, indicate, who is perishing? AST. Please, were you here then?

DIN. Molestusne sum? AST. Nunc magis quam fuisti, 720
nam si quid nobis usust nobis molestus~
sed obsecro, da mi operam, ut narrem quae volo.
DIN. Nam quid est?

DIN. Am I troublesome? AST. Now more than you were, 720
for if there is any use of us, you are troublesome to us~
but I beseech you, give me your attention, that I may narrate what I wish.
DIN. Well then, what is it?

num mea refert? AST. Non mussito.
intus bolos quos dat!

Does it matter to me? AST. I’m not muttering.
Inside, the mouthfuls he gives!

DIN. Quid? amator novos quispiam?
AST. Integrum et plenum adortast thensaurum.

DIN. What? Some new lover, someone?
AST. She has set upon a treasure intact and full.

DIN. Quis est? 725
AST. Eloquar, sed tu taceto. nostin tu hunc Strabacem? DIN. Quidni?

DIN. Who is it? 725
AST. I will tell, but you keep quiet. Do you know this Strabax? DIN. Why not?

AST. Solus summam <nunc> habet hic apud nos, nunc is est fundus nobis.
animo bono male <rem> gerit. DIN. Perit hercle, ego idem ***
bona perdidi, mala repperi, factus sum extimus a vobis.

AST. He alone has the command here among us; now he is our fund. With a good spirit he conducts the badly. DIN. He’s done for, by Hercules; I too ***
I have lost good things, I have found bad ones; I’ve been made an outsider by you all.

AST. Stultus es, qui facta infecta facere verbis postules. 730
Thetis quoque etiam lamentando pausam fecit filio.
DIN. Non ego nunc intro ad vos mittar? AST. Quidum quam miles magis?

AST. You are a fool, who demand to make deeds undone by words. 730
Thetis too, even by lamenting, made a pause for her son.
DIN. Shall I not now be sent in to you? AST. Why then, rather as a soldier?

DIN. Quia enim plus dedi. AST. Plus enim es intro missus, quom dabas:
sine vicissim qui dant [operam] ob illud quod dant operis utier.
litteras didicisti: quando scis, sine alios discere. 735
DIN. Discant, dum mihi commentari liceat, ni oblitus siem.

DIN. Because I gave more. AST. For you were sent inside more, when you were giving:
allow, in turn, those who give their effort to make use of the work on account of that for which they give labor.
you have learned letters: since you know, allow others to learn. 735
DIN. Let them learn, provided it is permitted me to comment, lest I should forget.

AST. Quid erit interea magistrae, dum tu commentabere?
volt [interim] illa itidem commentari. D. Quid?

AST. What will there be meanwhile for the schoolmistress, while you will be commenting?
she wishes [in the meantime] likewise to comment. D. What?

A. Rem accipere identidem.
DIN. Dedi equidem hodie: <iussi> ei quinque argenti deferri minas,
praeterea una mina obsonatum. AST. Idem istuc delatum scio. 740
de eo nunc bene sunt tua virtute.

A. To receive the payment again and again.
DIN. I did indeed give today: I ordered five minae of silver to be delivered to her,
besides one mina for provisions. AST. I know that the same was delivered. 740
on that score, now things are well thanks to your virtue.

DIN. Ei, meane [ut] inimici mei
bona istic caedent? mortuom hercle me quam ut id patiar mavelim.
AST. ~Stultus quid est aperire.

DIN. Alas, are my enemies there to cut up my goods?
By Hercules, I would rather be dead than suffer that.
AST. ~How foolish it is to open up.

DIN. Quid iam? AST. Quia pol mavelim 746
mihi inimicos invidere, quam med inimicis meis; 743
nam invidere alii bene esse, tibi male esse, miseria est.
qui invident egent; illis quibus invidetur, i rem habent.

DIN. What now? AST. Because, by Pollux, I would rather 746
my enemies envy me than I envy my enemies; 743
for to envy another to be well-off, and for you to be ill-off, is misery.
those who envy are needy; those of whom one is envied have the means.

DIN. Non <mei> licet obsoni me participem fieri? 747
AST. Si volebas participari, auferres dimidium domum.
nam item ut Acherunti hic <apud nos> ratio accepti scribitur:
intro accipitur; quando acceptumst, non potest ferri foras. 750
bene vale. D. Resiste.

DIN. Is it not permitted that I be made a participant of my provisions? 747
AST. If you wanted to be made a partner, you would have carried half home.
for just as in Acheron here with us the account of receipts is recorded:
it is received inside; once it has been received, it cannot be carried outside. 750
farewell. D. Stop.

A. Omitte. D. A, mitte intro. A. Ad te quidem.

A. Omit. D. Ah, send
in. A. To you indeed.

DIN. Immo istoc ad vos <volo> ire. AST. Non potest, nimium petis.
DIN. Experiri [sine] — AST. Immo opperire.

DIN. No rather, I <want> to come over to you. AST. It cannot be; you ask too much.
DIN. Let me try [allow] — AST. No, rather wait.

vis est experirier.
DIN. Dic me adesse. AST. Abi, occupatast.

There is need to try.
DIN. Say that I am here. AST. Be off, she’s occupied.

res itast, ne frustra sis.
D. Redin an non redis? A. Vocat me quae in me potest plus quam potes.

the matter is so; do not be futile.
D. Do you return or not return? A. She calls me who over me can more than you can.

755
D. Vno verbo — A. Eloquere. D. Mittin me intro? A. Mendax es, abi.

755
D. In one word— A. Speak out. D. Are you sending me inside? A. You are mendacious; be off.

unum aiebas, tria iam dixti verba, atque <ea> mendacia.—
DIN. Abiit intro, exclusit. egon ut haec mihi patiar fieri?
iam hercle ego tibi, inlecebra, ludos faciam clamore in via,
quae adversum legem accepisti a plurimis pecuniam; 760
iam hercle apud novos omnis magistratus faxo erit nomen tuom,
post id ego te manum iniciam quadrupuli, venefica,
suppostrix puerum.

you said one; now you have spoken three words, and those are lies.—
DIN. He has gone inside, he has shut me out. Am I to allow these things to be done to me?
now, by Hercules, temptress, I will make you a spectacle with shouting in the street,
you who have taken money from very many against the law; 760
now, by Hercules, I will see to it that your name will be before all the new magistrates,
after that I will lay hands on you for quadruple damages, sorceress,
substitutress of a child.

ego edepol iam tua probra aperibo omnia.
nihil me <prohibet,> perdidi omne quod fuit: fio impudens,
nec mi adeost tantillum pensi iam, quos capiam calceos. 765
sed quid ego hic clamo? quid si me iubeat intromittier?

By Pollux, I will now lay open all your disgraces.
Nothing prohibits me; I have lost everything that there was: I am becoming impudent,
nor have I now so much as the least bit of care which shoes I put on. 765
But why am I shouting here? What if he should order me to be admitted?

conceptis me non facturum verbis iurem, si velit.
nugae sunt. si stimulos pugnis caedis, manibus plus dolet.

I could swear in conceived, formal words that I will not do it, if he wishes.
trifles. If you strike goads with your fists, your hands hurt more.

de nihilo nihil est irasci, quae te non flocci facit.
sed quid hoc est? pro di immortales, Calliclem video senem, 770
meus qui adfinis fuit, ancillas duas constrictas ducere,
alteram tonstricem huius, alteram ancillam suam.

there is nothing to be angry at over a nothing, at what does not reckon you a flocci.
but what is this? O immortal gods, I see Callicles, an old man, 770
who was my in-law, leading two maidservants bound,
one the hairdresser of this fellow, the other his own maidservant.

pertimui: postquam una cura cor meum movit modo,
timeo ne male facta antiqua mea sint inventa omnia.

I was terrified: after a single care just now moved my heart,
I fear lest all my ancient misdeeds have been discovered.

IV.iii
CALLICLES Egon tibi male dicam tibique aut male velim? ut animus meust, 775
propemodum expertae estis, quam ego sim mitis tranquillusque homo.
rogitavi ego vos verberatas ambas pendentis simul;
commemini, quo quicque pacto sitis confessae scio;
hic nunc volo scire eodem pacton sine malo fateamini.

4.3
CALLICLES I—should I speak ill to you or even wish you ill? As my temper is, 775
you have pretty much experienced how mild and tranquil a man I am.
I interrogated you both, flogged, hanging up together;
I remember; I know in what manner each thing you have confessed.
Here now I want to know—confess it in the same fashion, without harm.

quamquam vos colubrino ingenio ambae estis, edico prius, 780
ne duplicis habeatis linguas, ne ego bilinguis vos necem,
nisi si ad tintinnaculos voltis vos educi viros.
ANCILLA Vis subigit verum fateri, ita lora laedunt bracchia.
CALL. At si verum mi eritis fassae, vinclis exsolvemini.

although you both are of a colubrine disposition, I declare first, 780
do not have double tongues, lest I, two-tongued, slay you,
unless, indeed, you wish to be led out to the men with little bells.
MAIDSERVANT Force compels us to confess the truth; thus the thongs wound the arms.
CALL. But if you will have confessed the truth to me, you will be loosed from the bonds.

DIN. Etiamnum quid sit negoti, falsus incertusque sum, 785
nisi quia timeo tamen, egomet <quia> quod peccavi scio.
CALL. Omnium primum diversae state — em sic, istuc volo;
neve inter vos significetis, ego ero paries. loquere tu.
ANC. Quid loquar?

DIN. Even now what the business is, I am false and uncertain, 785
except that I fear, nevertheless; I myself know that I have sinned.
CALL. First of all, stand apart — there, so, that’s what I want;
and do not by signs signify among yourselves; I will be the wall. You speak.
ANC. What am I to say?

CALL. Quid puero factumst, mea quem peperit filia,
meo nepote? capita rerum <ede> expedite. ANC. Istae dedi. 790
CALL. Iam tace.

CALL. What has been done to the boy, whom my
daughter bore, my grandson? the heads of the matters expeditiously. ANC. Those I have given. 790
CALL. Now be silent.

accepistin puerum tu ab hac? TONSTRIX Accepi. CALL. Tace.

Did you receive the boy from this woman? TONSTRIX I received him. CALL. Be quiet.

nil moror praeterea. satis es fassa. TON. Infitias non eo.
CALL. Iam livorem verbo scapulis istoc concinnas tuis.

I care for nothing besides. You have confessed enough. TON. I do not resort to denial.
CALL. Now, with a word, you are preparing a bruise for those shoulders of yours.

conveniunt adhuc utriusque verba. DIN. Vae misero mihi,
mea nunc facinora aperiuntur, clam quae speravi fore. 795
C. Loquere tu. qui dare te huic puerum iussit? ANC. Era maior mea.

the words of both still agree. DIN. Woe to wretched me,
my misdeeds are now being laid open, which I hoped would be secret. 795
C. You speak. Who ordered you to give the boy to this man? ANC. My elder mistress.

[CALL. Quid tu, cur eum accepisti? TON. Era med oravit minor,
puer ut <sibi> ferretur eaque ut celarentur omnia.]
C. Loquere tu. quid eo fecisti puero? T. Ad meam eram detuli.

[CALL. What about you, why did you accept him? TON. My younger mistress begged me, that the boy be brought to <sibi> and that all these things be concealed.]
C. You, speak. What did you do with that boy? T. I conveyed him to my mistress.

CALL. Quid eo puero tua era fecit? TON. Erae meae extemplo dedit. 800
C. Quoi, malum, erae? A. Duae sunt istae.

CALL. What did your mistress do with that boy? TON. She gave him straightway to my mistress. 800
C. To which mistress, the devil? A. There are two of those.

C. Cave tu nisi quod te rogo.
ex te exquiro. TON. Mater, inquam, filiae dono dedit.

C. See that you say nothing except what I ask you.
I inquire of you. TON. The mother, I say, gave it as a gift to the daughter.

C. Plus quam dudum [inqua] loquere. T. Plus tu rogitas. C. Responde ocius:
quid illa cui donatus <puer> est?

C. Speak more than just now [inqua]. T. You ask more. C. Answer more quickly:
what about that woman to whom the <boy> has been given?

T. Supposivit. C. Cui? T. Sibi.

T. She claimed him as her own. C. To whom? T. To herself.

CALL. Pro filiolon? T. Pro filiolo. C. Di, obsecro vostram fidem, 805
ut facilius alia quam alia eundem puerum unum parit:
haec labore alieno puerum peperit sine doloribus.

CALL. For the little sonlet? T. For the little son. C. Gods, I beseech your good faith, 805
how much more easily one woman than another bears one and the same boy:
this one has borne a boy by another’s labor, without pains.

puer quidem beatust: matres duas habet et avias duas:
iam metuo, patres quot fuerint. vide sis facinus muliebre.
ANC. Magis pol haec malitia pertinet ad viros quam ad mulieres: 810
vir illam, non mulier praegnatem fecit.

the boy indeed is fortunate: he has two mothers and two grandmothers:
now I fear how many fathers there have been. look, please, a womanly crime.
ANC. By Pollux, this malice pertains more to men than to women: 810
a man, not a woman, made her pregnant.

CALL. Idem ego istuc scio.
tu bona ei custos fuisti. ANC. Plus potest qui plus valet.

CALL. I know that same thing.
you have been a good guardian to him. ANC. He who is stronger can do more.

vir erat, plus valebat: vicit, quod petebat abstulit.
CALL. Et tibi quidem hercle idem attulit magnum malum.
ANC. Idem istuc ipsa, etsi tu taceas, reapse experta intellego. 815
CALL. Numquam te facere hodie quivi, ut is quis esset diceres.

He was a man, he was stronger: he won, he carried off what he was seeking.
CALL. And indeed, by Hercules, to you that same thing brought a great evil.
ANC. That same thing I myself, even if you keep silent, in reality, having experienced it, understand. 815
CALL. I could never today manage to make you say who that was.

ANC. Tacui adhuc: nunc <non> tacebo, quando adest nec se indicat.
DIN. Lapideus sum, commovere me miser non audeo.
res palam omnis est, meo illic nunc sunt capiti comitia.

ANC. I have kept silent until now: now I will not be silent, since he is here and does not indicate himself.
DIN. I am stone-like; I, poor wretch, do not dare to move myself.
the whole matter is in the open; now there is a public vote being held upon my head there.

meum illuc facinus, mea stultitia est. timeo, quam mox nominer. 820
CALL. Loquere, filiam meam quis integram stupraverit.
ANC. Video ego te, propter male facta qui es patronus parieti.

that deed is mine, that stupidity is mine. I fear how soon I shall be named. 820
CALL. Speak, who has violated my intact daughter?
ANC. I see you, who because of malefactions are an advocate to a wall.

DIN. Neque vivos neque mortuos sum, ne<que> quid nunc faciam scio,
neque ut hinc abeam neque ut hunc adeam scio, timore torpeo.
CALL. Dicin an non? ANC. Diniarchus, quoi illam prius desponderas.

DIN. I am neither living nor dead, nor do I know what I should do now,
nor do I know how to go away from here nor how to approach him; I am numbed with fear.
CALL. Will you say it or not? ANC. Diniarchus, to whom you had previously betrothed that girl.

825
C. Vbi is homost quem dicis? D. Adsum, Callicles. per tua obsecro
genua te, ut istuc insipienter factum sapienter feras,
mihique ignoscas quod animi impos vini vitio fecerim.

825
C. Where is the man you say? D. I am here, Callicles. By your knees I beseech
you, that you bear wisely that thing done unwisely,
and forgive me, because, not master of my mind, I did it by the fault of wine.

CALL. Non placet <qui> in mutum culpam confert, <qui non> quit loqui.
nam vinum si fabulari possit, se defenderet. 830
non vinum <viris> moderari, sed viri vino solent,
qui quidem probi sunt; verum qui improbust si quasi bibit
sive adeo caret temeto, tamen ab ingenio improbust.
DIN. Scio equidem quae nolo multa mi audienda ob noxiam.

CALL. I do not approve the man who shifts blame onto a mute, who cannot speak.
for if wine could talk, it would defend itself. 830
it is not wine that is wont to moderate men, but men are wont to moderate wine,
men indeed of probity are; but he who is depraved, whether he drinks
or even keeps away from strong drink, nevertheless is depraved in disposition.
DIN. I for my part know that, because of my offense, many things I do not want must be heard by me.

ego tibi me obnoxium esse fateor culpae compotem. 835
ANC. Callicles, vide in quaestione ne facias iniuriam:
reus solutus causam dicit, testis vinctos attines.
CALL. Solvite istas. agite, abite tu domum et tu autem domum.

I confess to you that I am obliged to you, being a sharer in the fault. 835
ANC. Callicles, see that in the questioning you do not do injustice:
the defendant states his case unbound, but you keep the witnesses bound.
CALL. Unbind those. Come on, be off—home you, and you home as well.

eloquere haec erae tu: puerum reddat, si quis eum petat.
eamus tu in ius. DIN. Quid vis in ius me ire?

You, speak these things to the mistress: let her give back the boy, if anyone should seek him.
let us go, you, into court. DIN. Do you want me to go into court?

tu es praetor mihi. 840
verum te obsecro, ut tuam gnatam des mi uxorem, Callicles.
CALL. Eundem pol te iudicasse qui admisti eam rem intellego.

you are my praetor. 840
but I beseech you, that you give your daughter to me as wife, Callicles.
CALL. By Pollux, I understand that you have judged yourself to be the same man who committed that matter.

nam haud mansisti, dum ego darem illam: tute sumpsisti tibi.
nunc habeas ut nactu's. verum hoc ego te multabo bolo:
sex talenta magna dotis demam pro ista inscitia. 845
DIN. Bene agis mecum. CALL. Filium istinc tuom te meliust repetere.

for you did not stay, while I might give her: you yourself took her for yourself.
now have her as you got her. but I will mulct you thus:
I will take away six great talents of dowry for that ignorance. 845
DIN. You do well by me. CALL. It’s better for you to recover your son from there.

ceterum uxorem quam primum potest abduce ex aedibus.
ego abeo. iam illi remittam nuntium adfini meo,
dicam ut aliam condicionem filio inveniat suo.—
DIN. At ego ab hac puerum reposcam, ne mox infitias eat; 850
nihil est, nam eapse ultro ut factumst fecit omnem rem palam.

But anyway, take your wife away from the house as soon as you can.
I am going off. Straightway I will send a message to my in-law,
I will tell him to find another match for his son.—
DIN. But I will demand the boy back from this woman, lest she soon deny it; 850
it’s nothing, for she herself, unprompted, has made the whole matter public just as it was done.

sed nimium pol opportune eccam eapse egreditur foras.
ne ista stimulum longum habet, quae usque illinc cor pungit meum.

but, by Pollux, all too opportune—look, she herself is coming forth outside.
indeed that one has a long stimulus, which pricks my heart all the way from over there.

IV.iv
PHRONESIVM Blitea et luteast meretrix nisi quae sapit in vino ad rem suam;
si alia membra vino madeant, cor sit saltem sobrium. 855
nam mihi dividiaest, [in] tonstricem meam sic convictam male.
ea dixit, eum Diniarchi puerum inventum filium.
ubi id audivi, quam <ego propere potui egressa huc sum foras.

4.4
PHRONESIVM A courtesan is blite and mud unless she is wise in wine for her own business;
if her other limbs are soaked with wine, let her heart at least be sober. 855
for I have a quarrel, [against] my hairdresser, thus badly convicted.
she said that that boy had been found to be Diniarchus’s son.
when I heard that, as quickly as I could I came out here outside.

DIN. Lubet adire> quam penes est mea omnis res et liberi. 858a
PHRON. Video eccum qui suis tutorem med optavit liberis.
DIN. Mulier, ad <te> sum profectus. PH. Quid agitur, voluptas mea?

DIN. It pleases me to go to> the one in whose power is my whole estate and my children. 858a
PHRON. I see—behold him—who has opted me as tutor for his own children.
DIN. Woman, I have come to <you>. PH. How goes it, my delight?

DIN. Non voluptas, aufer nugas, nil ego nunc de istac re ago.
PHRON. Scio mecastor quid velis et quid postules et quid petas:
me videre vis, [et me] te a me ire postulas, puerum petis.
DIN. Di immortales, ut planiloqua est, paucis ut rem ipsam attigit.

DIN. Not “delight”; away with trifles; I am doing nothing now about that matter.
PHRON. I know, by Castor, what you wish and what you demand and what you seek:
you want to see me, and you petition that you go away from me; you are seeking the boy.
DIN. Immortal gods, how plain-speaking she is, how in a few words she has touched the very point.

PHRON. Scio equidem sponsam tibi esse et filium ex sponsa tua 865
et tibi uxorem ducendam, [iam] esse alibi iam animum tuom
et <me> quasi pro derelicta: scio, abituru's. sed tamen
cogitato, mus pusillus quam sit sapiens bestia,
aetatem qui non cubili <uni> umquam committit suam,
quin, si unum obsideatur, aliud <iam> perfugium <ele>gerit. 870
DIN. Otium ubi erit, de istis rebus tum amplius tecum loquar.
nunc puerum redde. PHRON. Immo amabo ut hos dies aliquos sinas
eum esse apud me. DIN. Minime.

PHRON. I do indeed know that you have a fiancée and a son from your fiancée, 865
and that you must take a wife, [now] your mind is already elsewhere,
and <me> as if cast off: I know, you’re going to depart. But still
consider how wise a tiny mouse is, that little beast,
who never entrusts his life to a bed <uni> ever,
nay rather, if one be besieged, he <iam> chooses another refuge <ele>gerit. 870
DIN. When there is leisure, then about those matters I will speak further with you.
now give back the boy. PHRON. Nay rather, I beg that you allow him to be
with me for these few days. DIN. By no means.

PHRON. Amabo. DIN. Quid opus <est>?
PHRON. In rem meam <est>.
triduom hoc saltem, dum aliquo miles circumducitur,
sine me habere: siquidem habebo, tibi quoque etiam proderit; 875
si auferes [puerum], a milite omnis [tum] mihi spes animam efflaverit.
DIN. Factum cupio, nam nefacere si velim, non est locus;
nunc puero utere et procura, quando quor cures habes.

PHRON. Please. DIN. What need <is>?
PHRON. It <is> to my advantage.
At least for this three-day span, while the soldier is being led around somewhere,
allow me to have him: if indeed I shall have him, it will also even profit you; 875
if you take away [the boy], then all my hope from the soldier will have breathed out its life.
DIN. I desire it done, for if I should wish not to do it, there is no opportunity;
now make use of the boy and see to it, since you have grounds for caring.

PH. Multum amo te ob istam rem mecastor. ubi domi metues malum,
fugito huc ad me: saltem amicus mi esto ~ manubinarius. 880
D. Bene vale, Phronesium. PH. <An non et>iam tuom oculum vocas?

PH. I like you much for that matter, by Castor. when at home you fear harm,
flee here to me: at least be a friend to me ~ a spoils-man. 880
D. Farewell, Phronesium. PH. <Or do you not also> now call your “eye”?

DIN. Id quoque interim ~ futatim nomen commemorabitur.
numquid vis? PH. Fac valeas.

DIN. That too, meanwhile—piecemeal—the name will be commemorated.
do you want anything? PH. See that you keep well.

D. Operae ubi mi erit, ad te venero.—
PHRON. Ille quidem hinc abiit, abscessit. dicere hic quidvis licet.
verum est verbum quod memoratur: ubi amici ibidem <sunt> opes. 885
propter hunc spes etiamst hodie ~ tantum iri militem;
quem ego ecastor mage amo quam me, dum id quod cupio inde aufero.

D. When I have leisure, I’ll come to you.—
PHRON. He indeed has gone away from here, departed. Here one may say whatever one pleases.
the word that is remembered is true: where friends are, there likewise are resources. 885
because of this man there is even today hope ~ so much to go to the soldier;
whom, by Castor, I love more than myself, so long as I carry off from there what I desire.

quae cum multum abstulimus, hau multum <eius> apparet quod datum est:
ita sunt gloriae meretricum. ASTAPHIVM Aha tace. PHRON. Quid est, obsecro?

though we have carried off much, not much appears of what was given:
such are the meretricious glories of courtesans. ASTAPHIVM Aha, be quiet. PHRON. What is it, I beseech you?

A. <Pater> adest pueri. PH. Sine eumpse adire huc. sine, si is est modo. 890
A. <Ipsus est>. PH. Sine eumpse adire, ut cupit, ad me. A. Rectam tenet.

A. <Father> is here for the boy. PH. Let him himself approach here. Let him, if only it is he. 890
A. <It is he himself>. PH. Let him himself approach, as he desires, to me. A. He holds the straight course.

PHRON. Ne istum ecastor hodie aspiciam confectum fallaciis.

PHRON. By Castor, may I not today behold that fellow undone by fallacies.

ACTVS V

ACT 5

V.i
STRATOPHANES Ego minam auri fero supplicium ~ damnis ad amicam meam:
ut illud acceptum sit, prius quod perdidi, hoc addam insuper.
sed quid video? eram atque ancillam ante aedis.

5.1
STRATOPHANES I carry a mina of gold as expiation ~ for the damages to my girlfriend:
so that that which I lost before may be accounted as received, I will add this besides on top.
but what do I see? the mistress and a maidservant before the house.

adeundae haec mihi. 895
quid hic vos agitis? PH. Ne me appella <quaeso>. S. <Aha> nimium saeviter.
PH. Potine ut mihi molestus ne sis?

These are to be approached by me. 895
What are you doing here? PH. Do not address me <please>. S. <Aha> too savagely.
PH. Could you not be troublesome to me?

ST. Ecquid, Astaphium, litiumst?
A. Merito ecastor tibi succenset. PH. Egon, atque isti etiam parum
male volo.

ST. Is there any quarrel, Astaphium?
A. Rightly, by Castor, she is incensed at you. PH. Me? And I don’t even wish that fellow ill enough.

STRAT. Ego, mea voluptas, si quid peccavi prius,
supplicium ad te hanc minam fero auri. si minus credis, respice. 900
PHRON. Manus vetat prius quam penes sese habeat quicquam credere.
puero opust cibo, opus est matri autem, <opus est> quae puerum lavit,
opus nutrici, lact ut habeat, veteris vini largiter
ut dies noctesque potet, opust ligno, opust carbonibus,
fasciis opus est, pulvinis, cunis, incunabulis, 905
oleo <opust>, opus est farina, porro opus est totum diem:
numquam hoc uno die efficiatur opus, quin opus semper siet;
non enim possunt militares pueri ~ etauio exducier.

STRAT. My delight, if I have sinned at all before, I bring to you this mina of gold as punishment. If you believe it less, look. 900
PHRON. The hand forbids believing anything before it has it in its own possession. The boy has need of food; there is need for the mother, moreover, for the one who washed the boy;
there is need for the nurse, that she may have milk; of old wine in largesse, that she may drink day and night;
there’s need of wood, need of coals,
there is need of swaddling-bands, pillows, cradles, swaddling-gear, 905
oil is needed, flour is needed; furthermore, there is need all the day long:
never is this work completed in one day, but that there is always need;
for soldiers’ children cannot be brought up in a day.

STRAT. Respice ergo, accipe hoc, qui istuc efficias opus.
PHRON. Cedo, quamquam parum est. STRAT. Addam etiam unam minam istuc 910
post.

STRAT. Look then, take this, with which you may bring that work to effect.
PHRON. Hand it over, although it is too little. STRAT. I will add also one mina to that 910
afterwards.

PHRON. Parumst
STRAT. Tuo arbitratu quod iubebis dabitur. da nunc savium.
PH. Mitte me, inquam, odiosu's. ST. Nil fit, non amor, teritur dies.

PHRON. It is too little
STRAT. At your discretion, whatever you command shall be given. Now give a kiss.
PH. Let me go, I say; you’re odious. ST. Nothing is effected—no love; the day is worn away.

plus decem pondo ~ moris pauxillisper perdidi.
PHRON. Accipe hoc atque auferto intro. STRABAX Vbi mea amicast gentium?

more than ten pounds in weight of love — by just a tiny bit — I have lost.
PHRON. Take this and carry it inside. STRABAX Where in the world is my girlfriend?

neque ruri neque hic operis quicquam facio, corrumpor situ, 915
ita miser cubando in lecto hic expectando obdurui.
sed eccam video. heus amica, quid agis?

neither in the country nor here do I do any work at all; I am corrupted by disuse, 915
thus, wretched, by lying in bed here, by waiting, I have grown stiff.
but look, I see her. hey, girlfriend, what are you doing?

[mille]. STRAT. Quis illic <est> homo?
PHRON. Quem ego ecastor mage amo quam te. *** STRAT. Quam me? quo modo?
PHRON. Hoc modo, ut molestus ne sis.

[a thousand]. STRAT. Who is that man there?
PHRON. The one whom I, by Castor, love more than you. *** STRAT. More than me? How so?
PHRON. In this way: that you not be troublesome.

STRAT. Iam<ne> abis, postquam aurum habes?
PHRON. Condidi intro quod dedisti. STRAB. Ades, amica, te adloquor. 920
PHRON. At ego ad te ibam, mea delicia.

STRAT. Are you going off now, since you have the gold?
PHRON. I stowed inside what you gave. STRAB. Come here, friend, I am addressing you. 920
PHRON. But I was coming to you, my delight.

STRAB. Hercle vero serio,
quamquam ego tibi videor stultus, gaudere aliqui me volo;
nam quamquam tu es bella, malo tuo, nisi ego aliqui gaudeo.
PH. Vin te amplectar, savium dem? STRAB. Quidvis face <qui> gaudeam.

STRAB. By Hercules indeed in earnest,
although I seem foolish to you, I want to rejoice in some way;
for although you are pretty, to your harm, unless I in some way rejoice. PH. Do you want me to embrace you, give a kiss? STRAB. Do anything so that I may rejoice.

STRAT. Meosne ante oculos ego illam patiar alios amplexarier? 925
mortuom hercle me hodie satiust. apstine hoc, mulier, manum,
nisi si te mea manu ~ ui in machaera et hunc vis mori.
PHRON. Nil halapari satiust, miles, si te amari postulas;
auro, hau ferro deterrere potes, <hunc> ne amem, Stratophanes.

STRAT. Shall I suffer, before my own eyes, that she be embraced by others? 925
by Hercules, it’s better for me to be dead today. Keep off, woman, that hand,
unless, by my hand, by force, you wish to die upon the sword—and this fellow too.
PHRON. Nothing is more to be desired than to be coaxed, soldier, if you demand to be loved;
with gold, not with iron, you can deter me, Stratophanes, that I not love <hunc>.

STRAT. Qui, malum, bella aut faceta es, quae ames hominem isti modi? 930
PH. Venitne in mentem tibi quod verbum in cavea dixit histrio:
omnes homines ad suom quaestum callent et fastidiunt.
STRAT. Huncine hominem te amplexari tam horridum ac tam squalidum?
PH. Quamquam hic squalet, quam<quam> hic horret, scitus <et> bellust mihi.

STRAT. How, the devil, are you pretty or witty, you who love a man of that sort? 930
PH. Does it come into your mind what line the actor said in the theater:
all men are skilled for their own gain and are fastidious.
STRAT. Are you embracing this man, so horrid and so squalid?
PH. Although he is squalid, although he bristles, he is clever and comely to me.

STRAT. Dedin ego aurum — PHRON. Mihi? dedisti filio cibaria. 935
nunc, si hanc tecum esse speras, alia opust auri mina.
STRAB. Malam rem is et magnam magno opere, serva tibi viaticum.

STRAT. Did I give gold — PHRON. To me? You gave the son his victuals. 935
now, if you hope to have this one with you, there is need of another mina of gold.
STRAB. He’s about a bad business, and a big one, in good earnest; keep your viaticum for yourself.

STRAT. Quid isti debes? PHRON. Tria. STRAT. Quae tria nam?

STRAT. What do you owe that fellow? PHRON. Three. STRAT. Which three, pray?

PHRON.
Vnguenta, noctem, savium.
STRAT. Par pari respondet. verum nunc saltem, <et>si <istunc> amas,
dan tu mihi de tuis deliciis ~ sum quicquid pauxillulum? 940
PHRON. Quid id, amabo, est quod dem?

PHRON.
Unguent, a night, a kiss.
STRAT. Like responds to like. But now at least, if you love that fellow,
will you give me from your delicacies—may I take some tiniest little bit? 940
PHRON. What is that, pray, that I should give?

dic tum super feri~
~capas dicit auaui consultam istuc mihi homo~
cave faxis volnus tibi iam cui sunt dentes ferrei.
STRAB. Volgo ad se omnis intromittit. STRAT. Abstine istac tu manum.

say then about the savage~
~jaw; the man says he has contrived that for me~
beware you don’t make a wound for yourself now, the one whose teeth are iron.
STRAB. He admits everyone in, wholesale. STRAT. Keep your hand off that.

STRAB. Iam hercle cum magno <malo> tu vapula vir strenuos. 945
STRAT. Dedi ego huic aurum. STRAB. At ego argentum. STRAT. ~eat apale puram.

STRAB. Now, by Hercules, take your beating with great harm, you strenuous man. 945
STRAT. I gave this fellow gold. STRAB. But I silver. STRAT. let him go—away with him, outright.

STRAB. At ego oves et lanam, et alia multa quae poscet dabo.
meliust te minis certare mecum quam minaciis.
PHRON. Lepidu's ecastor mortalis, mi Strabax, perge obsecro.

STRAB. But I will give sheep and wool, and many other things which he will ask for.
it is better for you to contend with me by minas than by menaces.
PHRON. By Castor, you are a delightful mortal, my Strabax; proceed, I beseech.

AST. Stultus atque insanus damnis certant: nos salvae sumus. 950
STRAT. Age prior prompta aliquid. STRAB. Immo tu prior perde et peri.
STRAT. Em tibi talentum argenti.

AST. Fools and madmen contend in losses: we are safe. 950
STRAT. Come, you be first; bring forth something. STRAB. Nay, you be first—lose and perish.
STRAT. Here you are: a talent of silver.

~Philippices est, tene tibi.
PHRON. Tanto melior, noster esto — sed de vostro vivito.
STRAT. Vbi est quod tu das?

~It is “Philippics”; keep it for yourself.
PHRON. So much the better, be one of ours — but live off your own means.
STRAT. Where is what you give?

solve zonam, provocator. quid times?
STRAB. Tu peregrinu's, hic <ego> habito: non cum zona ego ambulo: 955
pecua ad hanc collo in crumina ego obligata defero.

loosen your belt, provoker. what do you fear?
STRAB. You are a foreigner; here <ego> I dwell: I do not walk with a belt: 955
I carry my funds, tied, at my neck into this purse.

quid dedi! ut discinxi hominem. STRAB. Immo ego vero, qui dedi.

What a blow I gave! how I unbelted the man. STRAB. No indeed, I did—I’m the one who gave it.

PHRON. I intro, amabo, i, tu eris mecum; <tum> tu eris mecum quidem.
STRAT. Quid tu? quid ais? cum hocin <eris>? ego <ero> posterior, qui dedi?

PHRON. Go inside, please, go; you will be with me; you will indeed be with me.
STRAT. What about you? What do you say? Will you be with this fellow? Shall I be the one after, I who ?

PHRON. Tu dedisti iam, <hic> daturust: ictuc habeo, hoc expeto. 960
verum utrique mos geratur amborum ex sententia.
STRAT. Fiat. ut rem gnatam video, hoc accipiundumst quod datur.

PHRON. You have given already, <here> he is about to give: that I have, this I seek. 960
but let compliance be shown to each, to the satisfaction of both. STRAT. Let it be done. As I see the matter as it is born, this must be accepted which is given.

STRAB. Meum quidem te lectum certe occupare non sinam.
PHRON. Lepide ecastor aucupavi atque ex mea sententia,
meamque ut rem video bene gestam, vostram rursum bene geram: 965
~romabo si quis animatust facere, faciat ut sciam.
Veneris causa adplaudite: eius haec in tutelast fabula.

STRAB. I certainly will not allow you to occupy my bed.
PHRON. Cleverly, by Castor, I have bagged it and to my mind,
and since I see my affair well carried through, I will manage yours well in turn: 965
I will entreat: if anyone is minded to do it, let him make it so that I may know.
For the sake of Venus, applaud: this play is under her tutelage.

spectatores, bene valete, plaudite atque exurgite.

spectators, fare well, applaud and rise up.