Plautus: Trinummus

LVXVRIA cum INOPIA PROLOGUS
MEGARONIDES SENEX
CALLICLES SENEX
LYSITELES ADVLESCENS
PHILTO SENEX
LESBONICVS ADVLESCENS
STASIMVS SERVVS
CHARMIDES SENEX
SYCOPHANTA

LUXURY with POVERTY PROLOGUE
MEGARONIDES OLD MAN
CALLICLES OLD MAN
LYSITELES ADOLESCENT
PHILTO OLD MAN
LESBONICUS ADOLESCENT
STASIMUS SERVANT
CHARMIDES OLD MAN
SYCOPHANT

ARGVMENTVM

ARGUMENT

Thensaurum abstrusum abiens peregre Charmides,
Remque omnem amico Callicli mandat suo.
Istoc absente male rem perdit filius;
Nam et aedis vendit: has mercatur Callicles.
Virgo indotata soror istius poscitur;
Minus quo cum invidia ei det dotem Callicles,
Mandat qui dicat aurum ferre se a patre.

Treasure hidden, departing abroad, Charmides,
Recommends the whole business to his friend Callicles.
In his absence the son badly squanders the estate;
Nor that alone—he even sells the house(s): these Callicles purchases.
Virgin undowered, his sister is asked for in marriage;
Min order that Callicles may give him a dowry with less envy,
Mandates one to say that he is bringing gold from the father.

Vt venit ad aedis, hunc deludit Charmides
Senex, ut rediit; quoius nubunt liberi.

Visiting the house, Charmides deceives this man;
Since he has returned, whose children are wed.

PROLOGVS

PROLOGUE

LVXVRIA Sequere hac me, gnata, ut munus fungaris tuom.
INOPIA Sequor, sed finem fore quem dicam nescio.
LVX. Adest.

LUXURY Follow me this way, daughter, so that you may perform your function.
POVERTY I follow, but I do not know what end I should say there will be.
LUX. It is here.

em illae sunt aedes, i intro nunciam.—
nunc, ne quis erret vostrum, paucis in viam
deducam, si quidem operam dare promittitis. 5
nunc igitur primum quae ego sim et quae illaec siet,
huc quae abiit intro, dicam, si animum advortitis.
primum mihi Plautus nomen Luxuriae indidit;
tum hanc mihi gnatam esse voluit Inopiam.
sed ea huc quid introierit impulsu meo 10
accipite et date vocivas aures dum eloquor.

See, there—there’s the house; go inside now at once.—
now, lest any of you err, I will lead you into the way in a few words,
if indeed you promise to give your effort. 5
now therefore first who I am and who that one is,
who has gone in here, I will tell, if you advert your mind.
first Plautus has bestowed upon me the name Luxury;
then he wished this one to be my daughter, Poverty.
but why she has entered here at my impulse, 10
receive it, and give vacant ears while I speak.

adulescens quidam est, qui in hisce habitat aedibus;
is rem paternam me adiutrice perdidit.
quoniam ei, qui me aleret, nil video esse relicui,
dedi ei meam gnatam, quicum aetatem exigat. 15
sed de argumento ne exspectetis fabulae:
senes qui huc venient, ei rem vobis aperient.
huic Graece nomen est Thensauro fabulae:
Philemo scripsit, Plautus vertit barbare,
nomen Trinummo fecit, nunc hoc vos rogat 20
ut liceat possidere hanc nomen fabulam.

A certain young man there is, who dwells in this house;
he has lost his patrimony, with me as helper.
since for him who would maintain me I see nothing left,
I have given him my daughter, with whom he may pass his life. 15
But do not expect the plot of the play from me:
the old men who will come here, they will lay the matter open to you.
the Greek name of this play is Thensauros:
Philemon wrote it, Plautus translated it barbarously,
he made the name Trinummus; now he asks you this, 20
that it be permitted for the play to possess this name.

tantum est. valete, adeste cum silentio.—

that is enough. farewell, be present with silence.—

ACTVS I

ACT 1

I.i
MEGARONIDES Amicum castigare ob meritam noxiam
immoene est facinus, verum in aetate utile
et conducibile. nam ego amicum hodie meum 25
concastigabo pro commerita noxia,
invitus, ni id me invitet ut faciam fides.
nam hic nimium morbus mores invasit bonos;
ita plerique omnes iam sunt intermortui.

1.1
MEGARONIDES To chastise a friend on account of a deserved offense
is an unpleasing deed, but at my age it is useful
and conducive. For I today will thoroughly chastise my friend 25
for his well-earned wrongdoing,
unwilling—were it not that good faith invites me to do it.
for here an excessive sickness has invaded good morals;
so that now almost all are half-dead.

sed dum illi aegrotant, interim mores mali 30
quasi herba inrigua succrevere uberrime:
eorum licet iam metere messem maxumam,
neque quicquam hic nunc est vile nisi mores mali.
nimioque hic pluris pauciorum gratiam
faciunt pars hominum quam id quod prosint pluribus. 35
ita vincunt illud conducibile gratiae,
quae in rebus multis opstant odiosaeque sunt
remoramque faciunt rei privatae et publicae.

but while those are sick, in the interim bad morals 30
have shot up most abundantly like a well-watered herb:
one may now reap of them the greatest harvest,
nor is anything here now cheap except bad morals.
and by far here a part of men set a higher value on the favor of the fewer
than on that which might profit the more. 35
thus that expediency for favor prevails,
which in many matters stand in the way and are odious
and make a hindrance to private and to public business.

I.ii
CALLICLES Larem corona nostrum decorari volo.
uxor, venerare ut nobis haec habitatio 40
bona fausta felix fortunataque evenat—
teque ut quam primum possim videam emortuam.
MEG. Hic ille est, senecta aetate qui factust puer,
qui admisit in se culpam castigabilem.

1.2
CALLICLES I want our Lar to be adorned with a garland.
wife, do reverence so that for us this habitation may turn out good, favorable, felicitous, and fortunate— 40
and that I may as soon as possible be able to see you dead.
MEG. This is he who in senile age has become a boy,
who has incurred a fault that merits castigation.

adgrediar hominem. CAL. Quoia hic vox prope me sonat? 45
MEG. Tui benevolentis, si ita es ut ego te volo,
sin aliter es, inimici atque irati tibi.
CAL. O amice, salve, atque aequalis.

I shall approach the man. CAL. Whose voice sounds here near me? 45
MEG. Of your benevolent well-wisher, if you are as I wish you;
but if you are otherwise, of an enemy and angry at you. CAL. O friend, hail, and peer.

ut vales,
Megaronides? MEG. Et tu edepol salve, Callicles.
CAL. Valen?

how are you,
Megaronides? MEG. And you, by Pollux, hail, Callicles. CAL. Are you well?

valuistin? MEG. Valeo, et valui rectius. 50
CAL. Quid tua agit uxor? ut valet?

Have you been well? MEG. I am well, and I have been better. 50
CAL. What is your wife doing? how is she?

MEG. Plus quam ego volo.
CAL. Bene hercle est illam tibi valere et vivere.
MEG. Credo hercle te gaudere, si quid mihi mali est.

MEG. More than I wish.
CAL. By Hercules, it is good that she is well and lives for you.
MEG. By Hercules, I believe you rejoice, if anything bad befalls me.

CAL. Omnibus amicis quod mihi est cupio esse idem.
MEG. Eho tu, tua uxor quid agit? CAL. Immortalis est, 55
vivit victuraque est.

CAL. For all my friends I desire that the same thing that is mine be theirs.
MEG. Hey, you, your wife—what is she doing? CAL. She is immortal, 55
she lives and is going to live.

MEG. Bene hercle nuntias,
deosque oro ut vitae tuae superstes suppetat.
CAL. Dum quidem hercle tecum nupta sit, sane velim.
MEG. Vin commutemus, tuam ego ducam et tu meam?

MEG. Good news, by Hercules, you announce,
and I pray the gods that she may outlive your life.
CAL. So long indeed, by Hercules, as she be married with you, I would truly wish it.
MEG. Do you want us to exchange—I'll take yours and you mine?

faxo haud tantillum dederis verborum mihi. 60
CAL. Namque enim tu, credo, me imprudentem obrepseris.
MEG. Ne tu hercle faxo haud nescias quam rem egeris.
CAL. Habeas ut nanctu's: nota mala res optumast.

I’ll make sure you don’t give me the least little bit of words. 60
CAL. For indeed you, I suppose, would steal up on me unawares.
MEG. By Hercules, I’ll make sure you are not unaware what matter you have done.
CAL. Have it as you’ve gotten it: a known bad thing is best.

nam ego nunc si ignotam capiam, quid agam nesciam.
MEG. Edepol proinde ut diu vivitur, bene vivitur. 65
sed hoc animum advorte atque aufer ridicularia;
nam ego dedita opera huc ad te advenio. CAL. Quid venis?

for now if I should take an unknown woman, I would not know what to do.
MEG. By Pollux, accordingly as long as life is lived, it is lived well. 65
but turn your mind to this and put away the joking;
for I have come here to you on purpose. CAL. Why do you come?

MEG. Malis te ut verbis multis multum obiurigem.
CAL. Men? MEG. Numquis est hic alius praeter me atque te?
CAL. Nemost.

MEG. That I may much objurgate you with many abusive words.
CAL. Me? MEG. Is there anyone here besides me and you?
CAL. No one.

MEG. Quid tu igitur rogitas, tene obiurigem?            70
nisi tu me mihimet censes dicturum male.
nam si in te aegrotant artes antiquae tuae,
[sin immutare vis ingenium moribus]                         72a
[aut si demutant mores ingenium tuom
neque eos antiquos servas, ast captas novos]
omnibus amicis morbum tu incuties gravem,             75
ut te videre audireque aegroti sient.
CAL. Qui in mentem venit tibi istaec dicta dicere?

MEG. Why then are you asking—shall I scold you?            70
unless you suppose I would speak ill of myself to myself.
for if your ancient arts are ailing in you,
[if you wish to alter your temperament by your manners]                         72a
[or if your manners are changing your temperament,
and you do not keep those ancient ones, but you seize new ones]
you will inflict a grave malady on all your friends,             75
so that they be sickened to see and to hear you.
CAL. How did it come into your mind to say those words?

MEG. Quia omnis bonos bonasque adcurare addecet,
suspicionem et culpam ut ab se segregent.
CAL. Non potest utrumque fieri. MEG. Quapropter?

MEG. Because it befits all good men and good women to take care,
so that they may segregate suspicion and culpability from themselves.
CAL. Both cannot be done. MEG. Wherefore?

CAL. Rogas? 80
ne admittam culpam, ego meo sum promus pectori:
suspicio est in pectore alieno sita.
nam nunc ego si te surrupuisse suspicer
Iovi coronam de capite ex Capitolio,
qui in columine astat summo: si id non feceris 85
atque id tamen mihi lubeat suspicarier,
qui tu id prohibere me potes ne suspicer?
sed istuc negoti cupio scire quid siet.

CAL.
Do you ask? 80
that I should not admit blame? I am steward to my own breast:
suspicion is set in another’s breast.
for now, if I should suspect you to have filched
from Jupiter a crown from his head out of the Capitol,
who stands on the topmost column: if you have not done that 85
and yet it pleases me to suspect it,
how can you prevent me from suspecting it?
but I wish to know what that business is.

MEG. Haben tu amicum aut familiarem quempiam,
quoi pectus sapiat? CAL. Edepol haud dicam dolo: 90
sunt quos scio esse amicos, sunt quos suspicor,
sunt quorum ingenia atque animos nequeo noscere,
ad amici partem an ad inimici pervenant;
sed tu ex amicis mi es certis certissimus.
si quid scis me fecisse inscite aut improbe, 95
~si id me non accusas, tute ipse obiurgandus es. MEG. Scio;
et, si alia huc causa ad te adveni, aequom postulas.

MEG. Have you any friend or familiar acquaintance,
whose breast is sapient? CAL. By Pollux, I will not speak with deceit: 90
there are those whom I know to be friends, there are those whom I suspect,
there are those whose natures and minds I cannot come to know,
whether they arrive at a friend’s side or at an enemy’s;
but you, among my sure friends, are the surest by far.
if you know that I have done anything unwise or improper, 95
~if you do not accuse me of that, you yourself are to be objurgated. MEG. I know;
and, if for some other cause I had come here to you, you ask what is equitable.

CAL. Expecto si quid dicas. MEG. Primumdum omnium,
male dictitatur tibi volgo in sermonibus:
turpilucricupidum te vocant cives tui; 100
tum autem sunt alii, qui te volturium vocant:
hostisne an civis comedis, parvi pendere.
haec cum audio in te dici, discrucior miser.

CAL. I wait to hear if you say anything. MEG. First of all,
ill is being said of you commonly in conversations:
your fellow citizens call you a filthy-lucre-greedy man; 100
then moreover there are others who call you a vulture:
that you care little whether you devour an enemy or a citizen.
when I hear these things said about you, I, wretched, am excruciated.

CAL. Est atque non est mi in manu, Megaronides:
quin dicant, non est; merito ut ne dicant, id est. 105
MEG. Fuitne hic tibi amicus Charmides? CAL. Est et fuit.
id ita esse ut credas, rem tibi auctorem dabo.

CAL. It is and is not in my hand, Megaronides:
as for their not saying it—it is not; that they not say it deservedly, that is. 105
MEG. Was this Charmides a friend to you? CAL. He is and was.
so that you may believe this to be so, I will give you an author for the matter.

nam postquam hic eius rem confregit filius
videtque ipse ad paupertatem protractum esse se
suamque filiam esse adultam virginem,                                    110
simul eius matrem suamque uxorem mortuam,
quoniam hinc iturust ipsus in Seleuciam,
mihi conmendavit virginem gnatam suam
et rem suam omnem et illum corruptum filium.
haec, si mihi inimicus esset, credo haud crederet.             115
MEG. Quid tu, adulescentem, quem esse corruptum vides,
qui tuae mandatus est fide et fiduciae,
quin eum restituis, quin ad frugem conrigis?
ei rei operam dare te fuerat aliquanto aequius,
si qui probiorem facere posses, non uti                         120
in eandem tute accederes infamiam
malumque ut eius cum tuo misceres malo.

for after this man’s son here smashed his fortune,
and he himself sees that he has been dragged to poverty,
and that his daughter is an adult virgin,                                    110
at the same time that her mother, his own wife, is dead,
since he himself is about to go from here to Seleucia,
he commended to me his virgin daughter,
and all his estate, and that corrupted son.
these things, if he were my enemy, I believe he would not have entrusted.             115
MEG. As for you, the young man whom you see to be corrupted,
who has been committed to your faith and confidence,
why do you not restore him, why do you not correct him to frugality?
it would have been considerably more equitable for you to give your effort to that matter,
if you could make him more upright, rather than that you yourself                         120
should go into the same infamy,
and mix his evil with your own evil.

C. Quid feci? M. Quod homo nequam. C. Non istuc meumst.

C. What have I done? M. What a wicked man does. C. That is not my way.

MEG. Emistin de adulescente has aedes (quid taces?)
ubi nunc tute habitas? CAL. Emi atque argentum dedi, 125
minas quadraginta, adulescenti ipsi in manum.
MEG. Dedistin argentum?

MEG. Did you buy from the adolescent this house (why are you silent?)
where now you yourself live? CAL. I bought it and I gave the silver, 125
forty minas, into the hand of the adolescent himself.
MEG. Did you give the silver?

CAL. Factum, neque facti piget.
MEG. Edepol fide adulescentem mandatum malae.
dedistine hoc facto ei gladium, qui se occideret?

CAL. It’s done, nor do I repent of the deed.
MEG. By Pollux, in trust the young man was handed over to a wicked guardian.
Did you by this deed give him a sword with which to kill himself?

quid secus est aut quid interest dare te in manus 130
argentum amanti homini adulescenti, animi impoti,
qui exaedificaret suam incohatam ignaviam?
CAL. Non ego illi argentum redderem? MEG. Non redderes,
neque de illo quicquam neque emeres neque venderes,
nec qui deterior esset faceres copiam. 135
inconciliastin eum qui mandatust tibi,
ille qui mandavit, eum exturbasti ex aedibus?

what is different, or what is the interest, that you give into the hands 130
silver to a loving man, a youth, of an unmastered spirit,
so that he might build out his inchoate sloth? CAL. Should I not render the silver back to him? MEG. You should not render it back,
nor either buy nor sell anything from him,
nor would you afford access to anyone who was worse. 135
Have you alienated him who was mandated to you,
he who mandated it—have you exturbated him from the house?

edepol mandatum pulchre et curatum probe;
crede huic tutelam: suam melius rem gesserit.
CAL. Subigis maledictis me tuis, Megaronides, 140
novo modo adeo, ut quod meae concreditumst
taciturnitati clam, fide et fiduciae,
ne enuntiarem quoiquam neu facerem palam,
ut mihi necesse sit iam id tibi concredere.
MEG. Mihi quod credideris sumes ubi posiveris. 145
CAL. Circumspicedum te, ne quis adsit arbiter
nobis, et quaeso identidem circumspice.

By Pollux, a mandate finely and properly cared for;
entrust guardianship to this man: he would have managed his own affair better.
CAL. You drive me with your insults, Megaronides, 140
in so new a way, to the point that what has been entrusted to my taciturnity in secret, to my faith and confidence,
that I should not enunciate it to anyone nor make it public,
I am now compelled to entrust that to you.
MEG. What you will have entrusted to me, you will take up where you have placed it. 145
CAL. Do look around yourself, lest any witness be present
with us, and I beg you, look around again and again.

MEG. Ausculto si quid dicas. CAL. Si taceas, loquar.
quoniam hinc est profecturus peregre Charmides,
thensaurum demonstravit mihi in hisce aedibus, 150
hic in conclavi quodam — sed circumspice.

MEG. I am listening, if you have anything to say. CAL. If you be silent, I will speak.
since Charmides is going to set forth abroad from here,
he demonstrated to me a treasure in these very premises, 150
here in a certain chamber — but look around.

MEG. Nemost. CAL. Nummorum Philippeum ad tria milia.
id solus solum per amicitiam et per fidem
flens me obsecravit suo ne gnato crederem
neu quoiquam unde ad eum id posset permanascere. 155
nunc si ille huc salvos revenit, reddam suom sibi;
si quid eo fuerit, certe illius filiae,
quae mihi mandatast, habeo dotem unde dem,
ut eam in se dignam condicionem conlocem.

MEG. No one is. CAL. Philippean coins to the amount of three thousand.
he alone, and only, by friendship and by good faith,
weeping, implored me not to entrust it to his own son,
nor to anyone from whom that could get back to him. 155
now if he returns here safe, I will give back what is his to him;
if anything should befall him, certainly for his daughter,
who has been entrusted to me, I have a dowry from which to give,
so that I may settle her in a condition worthy of herself.

MEG. Pro di immortales, verbis paucis quam cito 160
alium fecisti me, alius ad te veneram.
sed ut occepisti, perge porro proloqui.
CAL. Quid tibi ego dicam, qui illius sapientiam
et meam fidelitatem et celata omnia
paene ille ignavos funditus pessum dedit. 165
MEG. Quidum?

MEG. By the immortal gods, with few words how quickly 160
you have made me another man; I had come to you otherwise.
But as you have begun, proceed further to set it forth.
CAL. What am I to say to you, since his wisdom
and my fidelity and all the hidden things
he nearly, like a coward, utterly cast to ruin? 165
MEG. How so?

CAL. Quia, ruri dum sum ego unos sex dies,
me apsente atque insciente, inconsultu meo,
aedis venalis hasce inscripsit litteris.
MEG. Adesurivit magis et inhiavit acrius
lupus, observavit dum dormitarent canes: 170
gregem universum voluit totum avortere.
CAL. Fecisset edepol, ni haec praesensisset canes.

CAL. Because, while I was in the country some six days,
with me absent and unaware, without my counsel,
he inscribed these premises for sale with letters. MEG. The wolf gnawed in further and gaped more keenly,
watching while the dogs were dozing: 170
he wanted to turn aside the whole flock entire. CAL. By Pollux, he would have done it, if these dogs had not foreseen this.

sed nunc rogare ego vicissim te volo:
quid fuit officium meum me facere? face sciam;
utrum indicare me ei thensaurum aequom fuit, 175
adversum quam eius me opsecravisset pater,
an ego alium dominum paterer fieri hisce aedibus?
qui emisset, eius essetne ea pecunia?

but now I want to ask you in turn:
what was my duty for me to do? make it so I may know;
was it right that I indicate to him the treasure, 175
against which his father had adjured me,
or should I allow another master to be made for this house?
he who had purchased it—would that money be his?

emi egomet potius aedis, argentum dedi
thensauri causa, ut salvom amico traderem. 180
neque adeo hasce emi mihi nec usurae meae:
illi redemi rusum, a me argentum dedi.
haec sunt: si recte seu pervorse facta sunt,
ego me fecisse confiteor, Megaronides.
em mea malefacta, em meam avaritiam tibi; 185
hascine propter res maledicas famas ferunt.

I myself rather bought the house; I paid silver
for the sake of the treasure, so that I might hand it over safe to a friend. 180
nor indeed did I buy this house for myself nor for my profit:
for him I redeemed it again; from myself I paid the silver.
such are the facts: whether they were done rightly or perversely,
I confess that I did them, Megaronides.
look—my misdeeds; look—my avarice—for you; 185
on account of these matters they bear maledictory rumors.

MEG. Pausai, vicisti castigatorem tuom:
occlusti linguam, nihil est quod respondeam.
CAL. Nunc ego te quaeso ut me opera et consilio iuves
communicesque hanc mecum meam provinciam. 190
MEG. Polliceor operam. CAL. Ergo ubi eris paulo post?

MEG. Pause, you have defeated your chastiser:
you have shut up my tongue; there is nothing for me to answer.
CAL. Now I beg you to help me with aid and counsel,
and to share this my province with me. 190
MEG. I promise my service. CAL. So where will you be shortly?

MEG. Domi.
CAL. Numquid vis? MEG. Cures tuam fidem.

MEG. At home.
CAL. Is there anything you want? MEG. See to your faith—keep your word.

CAL. Fiet sedulo.
ME. Sed quid ais? CA. Quid vis?

CAL. It will be done sedulously.
ME. But what do you say? CA. What do you want?

ME. Vbi nunc adulescens habet?
CAL. Posticulum hoc recepit, quom aedis vendidit.
MEG. Istuc volebam scire.

ME. Where now does the adolescent live?
CAL. He reserved this postern, when he sold the house.
MEG. That was what I wanted to know.

i sane nunciam. 195
sed quid ais? quid nunc virgo? nempe apud te est?

go, indeed, right now. 195
but what do you say? what now about the virgin? surely she is with you?

CAL. Itast,
iuxtaque eam curo cum mea. MEG. Recte facis.
CAL. Numquid, prius quam abeo, me rogaturu's? — MEG. Vale.

CAL. It is so,
and I care for her alongside my own. MEG. You do rightly.
CAL. Anything you're going to ask me before I go? — MEG. Farewell.

nihil est profecto stultius neque stolidius
neque mendaciloquius neque argutum magis,                        200
neque confidentiloquius neque peiurius,
quam urbani assidui cives, quos scurras vocant.
atque egomet me adeo cum illis una ibidem traho,
qui illorum verbis falsis acceptor fui,
qui omnia se simulant scire neque quicquam sciunt.            205
quod quisque in animo habet aut habiturust sciunt,
sciunt id quod in aurem rex reginae dixerit,
sciunt quod Iuno fabulatast cum Iove;
quae neque futura neque sunt, tamen illi sciunt.
falson an vero laudent, culpent quem velint,                        210
non flocci faciunt, dum illud quod lubeat sciant.

there is assuredly nothing more foolish nor more blockheaded
nor more mendacious-talking nor more sharp-tongued,                        200
nor more confident-talking nor more perjurious,
than the assiduous urban citizens, whom they call buffoons.
and I myself, indeed, drag myself there together with them in the same place,
I who was taken in by their false words,
who pretend that they know everything and know nothing.            205
they know what each person has in mind or is going to have,
they know that which the king has said into the queen’s ear,
they know what Juno has gossiped with Jove;
things which are neither going to be nor are, nevertheless they know.
whether falsely or truly they praise, they blame whom they wish,                        210
they do not care a flocc, so long as they may know what they have a mind to know.

omnes mortales hunc aiebant Calliclem
indignum civitate hac esse et vivere,
bonis qui hunc adulescentem evortisset suis.
ego de eorum verbis famigeratorum insciens 215
prosilui amicum castigatum innoxium.
quod si exquiratur usque ab stirpe auctoritas,
unde quidquid auditum dicant, nisi id appareat,
famigeratori res sit cum damno et malo,
hoc ita si fiat, publico fiat bono, 220
pauci sint faxim qui sciant quod nesciunt,
occlusioremque habeant stultiloquentiam.—

all mortals were saying that this Callicles
was unworthy to belong to this city and to live, he who had overturned this young man from his own goods.
I, on the words of those rumor-bearers, unknowingly 215
leapt forth to punish a friend, though innocent.
But if authority be sought out right from the root,
whence they say whatever has been heard, unless that appear,
let the rumor-bearer have a case with loss and harm;
if this be done thus, let it be done for the public good, 220
I would make it so that few be those who know what they do not know,
and that they keep their foolish-babbling more shut up.—

ACTVS II

ACT 2

II.i
LYSITELES Multas res simitu in meo corde vorso,
multum in cogitando dolorem indipiscor:
egomet me coquo et macero et defetigo, 225
magister mihi exercitor animus nunc est.
sed hoc non liquet neque satis cogitatumst,
utram potius harum mihi artem expetessam,
utram aetati agundae arbitrer firmiorem:
amorin med an rei opsequi potius par sit, 230
utra in parte plus sit voluptatis vitae
ad aetatem agundam.
de hac re mihi satis hau liquet; nisi hoc sic faciam, opinor,
ut utramque rem simul exputem, iudex sim reusque ad eam rem.

2.1
LYSITELES Many matters together I turn over in my heart,
I acquire much pain in cogitating:
I myself cook and macerate and fatigue myself, 225
my mind is now a master and drill‑instructor to me.
but this is not clear nor sufficiently thought out,
which of these pursuits I should rather seek,
which I judge firmer for the conducting of my age:
whether it be more fitting that I obey Love or rather the Thing (property), 230
on which side there is more delight of life
for living out my years.
about this matter it is not sufficiently clear to me; unless I do this thus, I suppose,
that I reckon both matters at once, I be both judge and defendant in that case.

ita faciam, ita placet; omnium primum                         235
Amoris artis eloquar quem ad modum expediant.
numquam Amor quemquam nisi cupidum hominem
postulat se in plagas conicere:
eos cupit, eos consectatur;                         238a
subdole [blanditur] ab re consulit,
blandiloquentulus, harpago, mendax,             239a
cuppes, avarus, elegans, despoliator,
latebricolarum hominum corruptor,             240a
[blandus] inops celatum indagator.
nam qui amat quod amat quom extemplo            241a
saviis sagittatis perculsust,
ilico res foras labitur, liquitur.

so I will do, so it pleases; first of all                         235
I will declare in what way the arts of Love expedite matters.
Love never bids anyone save a desirous man
to cast himself into his snares:
them he desires, them he pursues;                         238a
covertly [he flatters], he consults for his own advantage,
a blandiloquent little fellow, a snatcher, mendacious,             239a
covetous, avaricious, elegant, a despoiler,
corrupter of men who haunt hiding-places,             240a
[coaxing] and needy, a tracker-out of what is concealed.
for he who loves, as soon as that which he loves            241a
has been smitten with arrowy kisses,
immediately his goods slip out of doors, liquefy.

'da mihi hoc, mel meum, si me amas, si audes'.
ibi ille cuculus: 'ocelle mi, fiat:                        245
et istuc et si amplius vis dari, dabitur.'
ibi illa pendentem ferit: iam amplius orat;
non satis id est mali, ni amplius etiam,
quod ecbibit, quod comest, quod facit sumpti.
nox datur: ducitur familia tota,                         250
vestiplica, unctor, auri custos, flabelliferae, sandaligerulae,
cantrices, cistellatrices, nuntii, renuntii,
raptores panis et peni;
fit ipse, dum illis comis est, inops amator.
haec ego quom ago cum meo animo et recolo,             255
ubi qui eget, quam preti sit parvi:
apage te, Amor, non places nil te utor;
quamquam illud est dulce, esse et bibere,
Amor amara dat tamen, satis quod aegre sit:
fugit forum, fugitat suos cognatos,             260
fugat ipsus se ab suo contutu,
neque eum sibi amicum volunt dici.

'give me this, my honey, if you love me, if you dare'.
thereupon that cuckoo: 'my little eye, let it be done:                        245
both that, and if you want more to be given, it shall be given.'
thereupon she strikes him while he’s hanging; now she asks for more;
that is not enough of evil, unless even more besides,
what she drinks up, what she eats, what expense she causes.
a night is granted: the whole household is led along,                         250
a wardrobe-woman, an oiler, a guardian of gold, fan-bearers, little sandal-bearers,
songstresses, little casket-carriers, messengers, re-messengers,
snatchers of bread and provisions;
he himself, while he is courteous to them, becomes a needy lover.
when I do and recollect these things with my mind,             255
how he who is in want is of how little price:
away with you, Love, you do not please; I make no use of you;
although that is sweet, to eat and to drink,
Love, however, gives bitter things, enough to be grievous:
he flees the forum, he shuns his kin,             260
he puts himself to flight from his own sight,
nor do they wish him to be called a friend to himself.

mille modis, Amor, ignorandu's,
procul abhibendu's atque abstandu's,
nam qui in amorem praecipitavit,                        265
peius perit quasi saxo saliat:
apage te, Amor, tuas res tibi habeto,
Amor, mihi amicus ne fuas umquam;
sunt tamen quos miseros maleque habeas,
quos tibi obnoxios fecisti.                         270
certumst ad frugem adplicare animum,
quamquam ibi labos grandis capitur.
boni sibi haec expetunt, rem, fidem, honorem,
gloriam et gratiam: hoc probis pretiumst.
eo mihi magis lubet cum probis potius                        275
quam cum improbis vivere vanidicis.             275a

in a thousand ways, Love, you must be ignored,
kept far off and stood apart,
for whoever has plunged headlong into love,                        265
perishes worse, as if he were leaping onto a rock:
away with you, Love, keep your affairs to yourself,
Love, never be a friend to me;
there are, however, those whom you keep wretched and ill at ease,
whom you have made subject to yourself.                        270
it is settled to apply the mind to frugality,
although there great labor is incurred.
good men seek these things for themselves: wealth, faith, honor,
glory and grace: this is the reward for the upright.
therefore it pleases me more with the upright rather                        275
than to live with wicked vain-talkers.             275a

II.ii
PHILTO Quo illic homo foras se penetravit ex
aedibus? LYS. Pater, adsum, impera quidvis,
neque tibi ero in mora neque latebrose
me abs tuo conspectu occultabo.
PH. Feceris par tuis ceteris factis, 280
patrem tuom si percoles per pietatem.

2.2
PHILTO Where has that fellow forced his way out from the house?
LYS. Father, I am here; command whatever you will; I will not be a delay to you, nor will I hide myself from your sight in a skulking way.
PH. You will have done on a par with your other deeds, 245
if you cultivate your father with piety.

nolo ego cum improbis te viris, gnate mi,
neque in via, neque in foro necullum sermonem exsequi
novi ego hoc saeculum moribus quibus siet:
malus bonum malum esse volt, ut sit sui similis; 285
turbant, miscent mores mali: rapax avarus invidus
sacrum profanum, publicum privatum habent, hiulca gens.
haec ego doleo, haec sunt quae me excruciant, haec dies
noctesque tibi canto ut caveas.
quod manu non queunt tangere tantum fas habent quo manus abstineant, 290
cetera: rape trahe, fuge late — lacrumas
haec mihi quom video eliciunt,
quia ego ad hoc genus hominum duravi.

I do not want you with wicked men, my son,
neither on the street, nor in the forum to carry on any conversation at all;
I know this age, what morals it has:
the bad man wants the good man to be bad, so that he may be like himself; 285
the evil disturb, they mix up morals: the rapacious, avaricious, envious
hold sacred and profane, public and private as one and the same, a gaping tribe.
these things I grieve, these are what excruciate me, these things day
and night I chant to you, that you beware.
what they cannot touch with the hand, only so much is lawful—from which their hands abstain—, 290
as for the rest: snatch, drag, flee, lie hidden — tears
these things, when I see them, draw from me,
because I have lived to see this breed of men.

quin prius me ad plures penetravi?
nam hi mores maiorum laudant, eosdem lutitant quos conlaudant. 295
hisce ego de artibus gratiam facio, ne colas neve imbuas ingenium.
meo modo et moribus vivito antiquis,
quae ego tibi praecipio, ea facito.

why did I not earlier make my way to more people?
for these men laud the morals of the elders; the very same ones they extol they smear with mud. 295
as to these arts I do you the favor: do not cultivate them, nor imbue your innate nature.
live by my manner and by ancient morals,
what I prescribe to you, do that.

nihil ego istos moror faeceos mores, turbidos, quibus boni dedecorant se.
haec tibi si mea imperia capesses, multa bona in pectore consident. 300
LYS. Semper ego usque ad hanc aetatem ab ineunte adulescentia
tuis servivi servitutem imperiis [et] praeceptis, pater.
pro ingenio ego me liberum esse ratus sum, pro imperio tuo
meum animum tibi servitutem servire aequom censui.
PHIL. Qui homo cum animo inde ab ineunte aetate depugnat suo, 305
utrum itane esse mavelit ut eum animus aequom censeat,
an ita potius ut parentes eum esse et cognati velint:
si animus hominem pepulit, actumst: animo servit, non sibi;
si ipse animum pepulit, dum vivit victor victorum cluet.

I do not at all concern myself with those feculent manners, turbid, by which the good disgrace themselves.
If you take up these my commands, many good things will settle in your breast. 300
LYS. I have always, all the way to this age from dawning adolescence,
served servitude to your commands and precepts, father.
According to my ingenium I reckoned myself free; according to your imperium
I judged it equitable that my mind serve servitude to you.
PHIL. The man who from earliest age fights it out with his own spirit, 305
whether he would rather have it be thus as his spirit judges equitable,
or rather thus as his parents and kinsmen wish him to be:
if the spirit has beaten the man, it is done: he serves the spirit, not himself;
if he himself has beaten the spirit, as long as he lives he is called victor of victors.

tu si animum vicisti potius quam animus te, est quod gaudeas. 310
nimio satiust, ut opust te ita esse, quam ut animo lubet:
qui animum vincunt, quam quos animus, semper probiores cluent.
LYS. Istaec ego mi semper habui aetati integumentum meae;
ne penetrarem me usquam ubi esset damni conciliabulum
neu noctu irem obambulatum neu suom adimerem alteri 315
neu tibi aegritudinem, pater, parerem, parsi sedulo:
sarta tecta tua praecepta usque habui mea modestia.
PHIL. Quid exprobras?

If you have conquered your mind rather than your mind has conquered you, you have something to rejoice. 310
By far it is better—since there is need—that you be as you ought, than as it pleases your mind:
those who conquer their mind, rather than those whom the mind [conquers], are always accounted more reputable.
LYS. This I have always kept for myself as an integument for my age;
that I should not penetrate myself anywhere where there was a conventicle of loss,
nor go out by night to stroll about, nor take away what is another’s own, 315
nor bring you affliction, father; I refrained diligently:
your precepts I have kept always well-repaired by my modesty.
PHIL. Why do you upbraid?

bene quod fecisti tibi fecisti, non mihi;
mihi quidem aetas actast ferme: tua istuc refert maxime.
is probus est quem paenitet quam probus sit et frugi bonae; 320
qui ipsus sibi satis placet, nec probus est nec frugi bonae:
[qui ipsus se contemnit, in eost indoles industriae.]
bene facta bene factis aliis pertegito, ne perpluant.
LYS. Ob eam rem haec, pater, autumavi, quia res quaedamst quam volo
ego me abs te exorare.

it is well that what you did well you did for yourself, not for me;
for me indeed my age is almost spent: that concerns your interest most of all.
he is a man of probity whom it makes penitent how upright he is and of good frugality; 320
he who quite pleases himself is neither upright nor of good frugality:
[he who despises himself, in him there is an inborn disposition of industry.]
cover good deeds over with other good deeds, lest they be rained through.
LYS. For that reason I have said these things, father, because there is a certain matter which I want
to coax from you for myself.

PHIL. Quid id est? dare iam veniam gestio. 325
LYS. Adulescenti hinc genere summo, amico atque aequali meo,
minus qui caute et cogitate suam rem tractavit, pater,
bene volo ego illi facere, si tu non nevis. PHIL. Nempe de tuo?

PHIL. What is it? I am eager now to grant leave. 325
LYS. To an adolescent here of the highest rank, my friend and equal,
who has handled his own affair less cautiously and deliberately, father,
I wish to do him a good turn, if you do not object. PHIL. Surely from your own?

LYS. De meo: nam quod tuomst meumst, omne meumst autem tuom.
PHIL. Quid is? egetne? LYS. Eget.

LYS. From my own: for what is yours is mine; but all that is mine is yours.
PHIL. What of him? Is he in need? LYS. He is in need.

PHIL. Habuitne rem? LYS. 330
Habuit. PHIL. Qui eam perdidit?

PHIL. Did he have property? LYS. 330
He had. PHIL. How did he lose it?

publicisne adfinis fuit an maritumis negotiis?
mercaturan, an venales habuit ubi rem perdidit?
L. Nihil istorum.

Was he connected with public or with maritime business?
Merchandizing, or did he have slaves for sale where he lost his capital?
L. None of those.

P. Quid igitur? L. Per comitatem edepol, pater;
praeterea aliquantum animi causa in deliciis disperdidit.
PHIL. Edepol hominem praemandatum ferme familiariter, 335
qui quidem nusquam per virtutem rem confregit, atque eget;
nil moror eum tibi esse amicum cum eius modi virtutibus.

P. What then? L. Through comity, by Pollux, father;
besides, he squandered somewhat for amusement’s sake in delights.
PHIL. By Pollux, a man almost pre-chewed, as it were, familiarly, 335
who indeed nowhere, through virtue, broke his fortune, and is in need;
I do not care for his being a friend to you with virtues of that sort.

LYS. Quia sine omni malitiast, tolerare eius egestatem volo.
PHIL. De mendico male meretur qui ei dat quod edit aut bibat;
nam et illud quod dat perdit et illi prodit vitam ad miseriam. 340
non eo haec dico, quin quae tu vis ego velim et faciam lubens:
sed ego hoc verbum quom illi quoidam dico, praemonstro tibi,
ut ita te aliorum miserescat, ne tis alios misereat.
LYS. Deserere illum et deiuvare in rebus advorsis pudet.

LYS. Because he is without any malice, I wish to tolerate his indigence.
PHIL. He does a bad service to a beggar who gives him something to eat or to drink;
for both he loses that which he gives, and he delivers that man’s life over to misery. 340
I do not say these things so that I would not wish and do gladly the things you want:
but when I say this word to a certain fellow, I forewarn you,
that you may pity others in such a way that others may not pity you.
LYS. It shames me to desert him and to deny help in adverse affairs.

PHIL. Pol pudere quam pigere praestat, totidem litteris. 345
LYS. Edepol, deum virtute dicam, pater, et maiorum et tua
multa bona bene parta habemus, bene si amico feceris
ne pigeat fecisse, ut potius pudeat si non feceris.
PHIL. De magnis divitiis si quid demas, plus fit an minus?
LYS. Minus, pater; sed civi immuni scin quid cantari solet? 350
'quod habes ne habeas et illuc quod non habes habeas, malum,
quandoquidem nec tibi bene esse pote pati neque alteri.'
PHIL. Scio equidem istuc ita solere fieri; verum, gnate mi,
is est immunis, cui nihil est qui munus fungatur suom.

PHIL. By Pollux, to be ashamed is preferable to to be sorry, with the same number of letters. 345
LYS. By Pollux, by the virtue of the gods I say, father, we have many goods well-earned of our elders and of you; if you do well to a friend, do not be sorry to have done it, but rather be ashamed if you have not done it.
PHIL. From great riches, if you take something away, is there more or less?
LYS. Less, father; but do you know what is wont to be chanted about a citizen immune? 350
“what you have, may you not have, and there where you do not have, may you have—bad luck to you—,
since you can allow it to be well neither for yourself nor for another.”
PHIL. I know indeed that that is wont to happen so; but, my son, he is immune who has nothing with which to discharge his own duty.

LYS. Deum virtute habemus et qui nosmet utamur, pater, 355
et aliis qui comitati simus benevolentibus.
PHIL. Non edepol tibi pernegare possum quicquam quod velis.
cui egestatem tolerari vis?

LYS. By the gods’ virtue we have both for our own use, father, 355
and to be accompanied by other benevolent men.
PHIL. By Pollux, I cannot deny you outright anything that you wish. For whom do you wish indigence to be tolerated?

eloquere audacter patri.
LYS. Lesbonico huic adulescenti, Charmidai filio,
qui illic habitat. PHIL. Quin comedit quod fuit, quod non fuit? 360
LYS. Ne opprobra, pater; multa eveniunt homini quae volt, quae nevolt.

Speak out boldly to your father.
LYS. For this young man Lesbonicus, the son of Charmides,
who lives there. PHIL. Why, has he devoured what there was, and what there was not? 360
LYS. Do not upbraid, father; many things befall a man which he wills, and which he does not will.

PHIL. Mentire edepol, gnate, atque id nunc facis haud consuetudine.
nam sapiens quidem pol ipsus fingit fortunam sibi:
eo non multa quae nevolt eveniunt, nisi fictor malust.
LYS. Multa illi opera opust ficturae, qui se fictorem probum 365
vitae agundae esse expetit: sed hic admodum adulescentulust.

PHIL. By Pollux, you lie, my son, and you are now doing that not in your usual way.
for indeed, by Pollux, the wise man himself fashions fortune for himself:
therefore not many things which he does not want befall him, unless the shaper is bad.
LYS. Much work of fashioning is needed for him who aims to be an upright shaper 365
of a life to be conducted: but this one is a mere stripling.

PHIL. Non aetate, verum ingenio apiscitur sapientia;
sapienti aetas condimentum, sapiens aetati cibust.
agedum eloquere, quid dare illi nunc vis? LYS. Nil quicquam, pater;
tu modo ne me prohibeas accipere, si quid det mihi. 370
PHIL. An eo egestatem ei tolerabis, si quid ab illo acceperis?

PHIL. Wisdom is acquired not by age, but by innate talent; to a wise man age is a condiment, the wise man is nourishment for age.
come now, speak out, what do you wish to give him now? LYS. Nothing at all, father;
only do not forbid me to receive, if he should give me anything. 370
PHIL. Will you thus subject him to indigence, if you take anything from him?

L. Eo, pater. P. Pol ego istam volo me rationem edoceas. L. Licet.

L. I will, father. P. By Pollux, I want you to explain that rationale to me. L. You may.

scin tu illum quo genere natus sit? PHIL. Scio, adprime probo.
LYS. Soror illi est adulta virgo grandis: eam cupio, pater,
ducere uxorem sine dote.

Do you know what lineage he was born from? PHIL. I know; I highly approve.
LYS. He has a sister, a full-grown maiden of mature years: her I desire, father,
to take to wife without a dowry.

PHIL. Sine dote uxorem? LYS. Ita; 375
tua re salva hoc pacto ab illo summam inibis gratiam,
neque commodius ullo pacto ei poteris auxiliarier.
PHIL. Egone indotatam te uxorem ut patiar?

PHIL. A wife without a dowry? LYS. Yes; 375
with your interests safe, by this method you will enter the highest favor with him,
nor by any method will you be able to assist him more commodiously. PHIL. I— that I should allow you to have a wife without a dowry?

LYS. Patiundumst, pater;
et eo pacto addideris nostrae lepidam famam familiae.
PHIL. Multa ego possum docta dicta et quamvis facunde loqui, 380
historiam veterem atque antiquam haec mea senectus sustinet;
verum ego quando te et amicitiam et gratiam in nostram domum
video adlicere, etsi adversatus tibi fui, istac iudico:
tibi permitto; posce, duce. LYS. Di te servassint mihi.

LYS. It must be borne, father;
and by that pact you will have added a charming fame to our family.
PHIL. I can speak many learned sayings and, however eloquently, speak, 380
this my old age sustains ancient and antique history;
but since I see you enticing both friendship and favor into our house,
although I opposed you, I judge thus:
I permit it to you; ask for her, lead her. LYS. May the gods keep you safe for me.

sed adde ad istam gratiam unum. P. Quid id est autem unum? L. Eloquar. 385
tute ad eum adeas, tute concilies, tute poscas.

but add one thing to that favor. P. What is that one thing, then? L. I will speak out. 385
you yourself go to him, you yourself conciliate him, you yourself ask.

PHIL. Eccere.
LYS. Nimio citius transiges: firmum omne erit quod tu egeris.
gravius tuom erit unum verbum ad eam rem quam centum mea.

PHIL. Look there.
LYS. You will transact it far more quickly: whatever you do will be firm.
one word of yours will be more weighty for that matter than a hundred of mine.

PHIL. Ecce autem in benignitate hoc repperi, negotium.
dabitur opera. LYS. Lepidus vivis.

PHIL. Behold then: in benignity I have found this—about the business; pains will be taken. LYS. You’re a charmer.

haec sunt aedes, hic habet; 390
Lesbonico est nomen. age, rem cura. ego te opperiar domi.—

this is the house, he lives here; 390
Lesbonicus is the name. come, take care of the matter. I will wait for you at home.—

II.iii
PHIL. Non optuma haec sunt, neque ut ego aequom censeo;
verum meliora sunt quam quae deterruma.
sed hoc me unum consolatur atque animum meum,
quia qui nihil aliud nisi quod sibi soli placet 395
consulit advorsum filium, nugas agit:
miser ex animo fit, factius nihilo facit.
suae senectuti is acriorem hiemem parat,
quom illam importunam tempestatem conciet.

2.3
PHIL. These are not the best, nor as I judge equitable;
but they are better than those which are the very worst.
but this one thing consoles me and my spirit,
because he who consults for nothing other than what pleases himself alone 395
against his son, is playing trifles:
he becomes a wretch from the soul, and makes him not a whit more compliant.
for his own old age he prepares a sharper winter,
when he stirs up that importunate tempest.

sed aperiuntur aedes quo ibam: commodum 400
ipse exit Lesbonicus cum servo foras.

But the house is opened where I was going: just then 400
Lesbonicus himself exits with a slave out of doors.

II.iv
LESBONICVS Minus quindecim dies sunt, quom pro hisce aedibus
minas quadraginta accepisti a Callicle.
estne hoc quod dico, Stasime? STASIMVS Quom considero,
meminisse videor fieri.

II.iv
LESBONICVS It is less than fifteen days since, for these houses,
you received forty minae from Callicles.
Is this what I say, Stasimus? STASIMVS When I consider,
I seem to remember.

LESB. Quid factumst eo? 405
STAS. Comessum, expotum; exussum: elotum in balineis,
piscator, pistor apstulit, lanii, coqui,
holitores, myropolae, aucupes: confit cito;
non hercle minus divorse distrahitur cito,
quam si tu obicias formicis papaverem. 410
LESB. Minus hercle in istis rebus sumptumst sex minis.
STAS. Quid quod dedisti scortis? LESB. Ibidem una traho.

LESB. What was done with it? 405
STAS. Eaten up, drunk up; burned up; rinsed out in the baths,
the fisherman, the baker carried it off, the butchers, the cooks,
the greengrocers, the perfumers, the fowlers: it’s used up quickly;
by Hercules, it is torn apart diversely and swiftly,
than if you were to throw poppy-seed to ants. 410
LESB. By Hercules, less than six minae were spent on those things.
STAS. What about what you gave to the courtesans? LESB. I count that in there together.

STAS. Quid quod ego defrudavi? LESB. Em, istaec ratio maxumast.
STAS. Non tibi illud apparere, si sumas, potest;
nisi tu immortale rere esse argentum tibi. 415
PHIL. Sero atque stulte, prius quod cautum oportuit,
postquam comedit rem, post rationem putat.

STAS. What about the part that I defrauded? LESB. There— that item is the greatest in the reckoning.
STAS. That cannot become apparent to you, if you spend it; unless you suppose your silver is immortal for you. 415
PHIL. Late and foolishly—what ought to have been safeguarded before—after he has consumed the estate, afterwards he does the reckoning.

LESB. Nequaquam argenti ratio comparet tamen.
STAS. Ratio quidem hercle apparet: argentum oixetai.
minas quadraginta accepisti a Callicle, 420
et ille aedis mancipio abs te accepit?

LESB. By no means does the account of the money balance, however.
STAS. The reckoning indeed, by Hercules, is apparent: the money is “oikhetai”—gone.
you received forty minae from Callicles, 420
and did he receive the house from you by mancipation?

LESB. Admodum.
PHIL. Pol opino adfinis noster aedis vendidit;
pater quom peregre veniet, in portast locus,
nisi forte in ventrem filio conrepserit.
STAS. Trapezitae mille drachumarum Olympico, 425
quas de ratione dehibuisti, redditae?

LESB. Very much so.
PHIL. By Pollux, I suppose our affine has sold the house; when father comes from abroad, the place is in port, unless perhaps he has crawled into his son’s belly.
STAS. To the banker Olympico, of a thousand drachmas, 425
which you owed on the account, have they been repaid?

LESB. Nempe quas spopondi. STAS. Immo 'quas dependi' inquito
[~qua sponsione pronuper tu exactus es] 427a
pro illo adulescente, quem tu esse aibas divitem.
L. Factum.

LESB. Surely the ones I pledged. STAS. Rather, say 'the ones I paid,' say you
[~by which sponsion you were very lately exacted] 427a
on behalf of that adolescent, whom you kept saying was wealthy.
L. Done.

S. Vt quidem illud perierit. L. Factum id quoque est.
nam nunc eum vidi miserum et me eius miseritumst. 430
STAS. Miseret te aliorum, tui nec miseret nec pudet.

S. So that indeed that has perished. L. That too has happened id quoque est.
for just now I saw him miserable, and I pitied him. 430
STAS. You pity others, but you neither pity yourself nor are you ashamed.

PHIL. Tempust adeundi. LESB. Estne hic Philto qui advenit?
is herclest ipsus.

PHIL. It is time to approach. LESB. Is this Philto who has arrived?
He, by Hercules, is the very one himself.

STAS. Edepol ne ego istum velim
meum fieri servom cum suo peculio.
PHIL. Erum atque servom plurumum Philto iubet 435
salvere, Lesbonicum et Stasimum. LESB. Di duint
tibi, Philto, quaequomque optes.

STAS. By Pollux, indeed I would like that fellow to become my slave with his peculium.
PHIL. The master and the slave, Lesbonicus and Stasimus, send very much greeting to Philto 435
LESB. May the gods grant you, Philto, whatever you wish.

quid agit filius?
PHIL. Bene volt tibi. LESB. Edepol mutuom mecum facit.

What is the son doing?
PHIL. He wishes you well. LESB. By Pollux, he makes it mutual with me.

STAS. Nequam illud verbumst 'bene volt', nisi qui bene facit.
ego quoque volo esse liber: nequiquam volo; 440
hic postulet frugi esse: nugas postulet.
PHIL. Meus gnatus me ad te misit, inter te atque nos
adfinitatem ut conciliarem et gratiam.

STAS. That word “he wishes well” is worthless, unless he does well.
I too want to be free: I want it in vain; 440
let this fellow ask to be “frugi”: he asks for trifles.
PHIL. My son sent me to you, that I might bring about an affinity and goodwill
between you and us.

tuam volt sororem ducere uxorem; et mihi
sententia eademst et volo. LESB. Hau nosco tuom: 445
bonis tuis rebus meas res inrides malas.
PHIL. Homo ego sum, homo tu es: ita me amabit Iuppiter,
neque te derisum advenio neque dignum puto.

he wishes to take your sister to wife; and my opinion is the same and I wish it. LESB. I do not recognize your way: 445
with your good affairs you deride my bad affairs.
PHIL. I am a man, you are a man: so may Jupiter love me,
I do not come to deride you, nor do I deem you worthy of it.

verum hoc quod dixi: meus me oravit filius,
ut tuam sororem poscerem uxorem sibi. 450
LESB. Mearum me rerum novisse aequomst ordinem.
cum vostra nostra non est aequa factio.
adfinitatem vobis aliam quaerite.

but this which I said is true: my son entreated me,
that I should ask your sister as wife for himself. 450
LESB. It is fair that I should know the order of my own affairs.
since your side and ours is not an equal match.
seek another affinity for yourselves.

STAS. Satin tu es sanus mentis aut animi tui,
qui condicionem hanc repudies? nam illum tibi 455
ferentarium esse amicum inventum intellego.
LESB. Abin hinc dierecte?

STAS. Are you sane enough in your mind or your spirit,
that you repudiate this condition? for I understand that that man has been found for you 455
as a friend to bear the burden.
LESB. Will you go off from here, straight?

STAS. Si hercle ire occipiam, votes.
LESB. Nisi quid me aliud vis, Philto, respondi tibi.
PHIL. Benigniorem, Lesbonice, te mihi,
quam nunc experior esse, confido fore; 460
nam et stulte facere et stulte fabularier,
utrumque, Lesbonice, in aetate hau bonumst.

STAS. If, by Hercules, I start to go, you’ll wish it.
LESB. Unless you want anything else from me, Philto, I have answered you.
PHIL. More benign to me, Lesbonicus, I trust you will be than I now experience you to be; 460
for both to act foolishly and to talk foolishly,
both, Lesbonicus, are not good at your age.

STAS. Verum hercle hic dicit. LESB. Oculum ego ecfodiam tibi,
si verbum addideris. STAS. Hercle qui dicam tamen;
nam si sic non licebit, luscus dixero. 465
PHIL. Ita tu nunc dicis, non esse aequiperabiles
vostras cum nostris factiones atque opes?

STAS. But by Hercules, this man speaks true. LESB. I’ll gouge out your eye,
if you add a word. STAS. By Hercules, I’ll say it nonetheless;
for if it will not be permitted thus, I shall have said it to a one‑eyed man. 465
PHIL. So you now say that your factions and resources are not equiperable
with ours?

LESB. Dico. PHIL. Quid? nunc si in aedem ad cenam veneris
atque ibi opulentus tibi par forte obvenerit
(adposita cena sit, popularem quam vocant), 470
si illi congestae sint epulae a cluentibus:
si quid tibi placeat quod illi congestum siet,
edisne an incenatus cum opulento accubes?

LESB. I say. PHIL. What? Now, if you were to come into the temple for dinner
and there an opulent peer should by chance befall you
(the dinner having been set out, the “popular” one as they call it), 470
if banquet-dishes had been piled up for him by his clients:
if there were anything that pleased you which had been piled up for him,
do you eat, or do you recline to dine unfed with the opulent man?

LESB. Edim, nisi si ille votet. STAS. At pol ego etsi votet
edim, atque ambabus malis expletis vorem, 475
et quod illi placeat praeripiam potissimum,
neque illi concedam quicquam de vita mea.
verecundari neminem apud mensam decet,
nam ibi de divinis atque humanis cernitur.

LESB. I would eat, unless he should vow. STAS. But by Pollux, even if
he should vow, I would eat, and with both cheeks filled I would gobble, 475
and I would preempt what might please him most,
nor would I concede to him anything of my life.
it befits no one to be bashful at table,
for there judgment is made about divine and human things.

PHIL. Rem fabulare. STAS. Non tibi dicam dolo: 480
decedam ego illi de via, de semita,
de honore populi; verum quod ad ventrem attinet,
non hercle hoc longe, nisi me pugnis vicerit.
cena hac annona est sine sacris hereditas.

PHIL. You are telling a fable. STAS. I will not speak to you with guile: 480
I will cede to him the road, the footpath,
the honor of the people; but as far as pertains to the belly,
by Hercules, not by this much, unless he conquers me with fists.
this dinner, at this grain-price (annona), is an inheritance without sacred rites.

PHIL. Semper tu hoc facito, Lesbonice, cogites, 485
id optumum esse, tute uti sis optumus;
si id nequeas, saltem ut optumis sis proxumus.
nunc condicionem hanc, quam ego fero et quam abs te peto,
dare atque accipere, Lesbonice, te volo.
di divites sunt, deos decent opulentiae 490
et factiones, verum nos homunculi,
satillum animai qui quom extemplo emisimus,
aequo mendicus atque ille opulentissimus
censetur censu ad Acheruntem mortuos.

PHIL. Always do this, Lesbonicus, think, 485
that this is the optimum: that you yourself be the best;
if you cannot do that, at least that you be next to the best.
now this condition, which I bring and which I ask from you,
I want you, Lesbonicus, to give and to receive.
the gods are rich, opulence and factions befit gods 490
—but we little men,
who, with a tiny thimbleful of soul which, as soon as we have sent it out,
the beggar and that most opulent man are assessed with an equal census
as dead, to Acheron.

STAS. Mirum quin tu illo tecum divitias feras. 495
ubi mortuos sis, ita sis ut nomen cluet.
PHIL. Nunc ut scias hic factiones atque opes
non esse neque nos tuam neglegere gratiam,
sine dote posco tuam sororem filio.
quae res bene vortat — habeon pactam?

STAS. A wonder indeed if you would carry your riches there with you. 495
when you are dead, may you be as your name is reputed.
PHIL. Now, so that you may know that here there are not factions and wealth,
nor that we neglect your favor, I ask your sister for my son without a dowry.
may this matter turn out well — have I her pledged?

quid taces? 500
STAS. Pro di immortales, condicionem quoius modi.
PHIL. Quin fabulare 'di bene vortant, spondeo'?
STAS. Eheu ubi usus nil erat dicto, spondeo
dicebat; nunc hic, quom opus est, non quit dicere.
LESB. Quom adfinitate vostra me arbitramini 505
dignum, habeo vobis, Philto, magnam gratiam.

why are you silent? 500
STAS. O immortal gods, what kind of condition.
PHIL. Why don’t you say, ‘may the gods turn it well, I pledge’?
STAS. Alas, when there was no use for the word, ‘I pledge’
he used to say; now here, when there is need, he cannot say it.
LESB. Since you deem me worthy of your affinity, 505
I have great gratitude to you, Philto.

sed si haec res graviter cecidit stultitia mea,
Philto, est ager sub urbe hic nobis: eum dabo
dotem sorori; nam is de divitiis meis
solus superfit praeter vitam relicuos. 510
PHIL. Profecto dotem nil moror. LESB. Certumst dare.
STAS. Nostramne, ere, vis nutricem, quae nos educat,
abalienare a nobis?

but if this matter has fallen grievously by my stupidity,
Philto, we have a field beneath the city here: I will give it
as a dowry to my sister; for it alone of my riches
is left over, the rest having been left—besides my life. 510
PHIL. Indeed I do not trouble myself about a dowry. LESB. It is settled to give it.
STAS. Do you wish, master, to alienate from us our nurse, who rears us,
from us?

cave sis feceris.
quid edemus nosmet postea? LESB. Etiam tu taces?

See that you don't do it.
What shall we ourselves eat afterward? LESB. Are you silent too?

tibi ego rationem reddam? STAS. Plane periimus, 515
nisi quid ego comminiscor. Philto, te volo.

Shall I render an account to you? STAS. Plainly we have perished, 515
unless I contrive something. Philto, I want you.

P. Si quid vis, Stasime. S. Huc concede aliquantum. P. Licet.

P. If you want anything, Stasimus. S. Come over here a little. P. It is permitted.

STAS. Arcano tibi ego hoc dico, ne ille ex te sciat
neve alius quisquam. PHIL. Crede audacter quidlubet.
STAS. Per deos atque homines dico, ne tu illunc agrum 520
tuom siris umquam fieri neque gnati tui.

STAS. I tell you this in secret, so that he not learn it from you
nor anyone else. PHIL. Believe boldly whatever you please.
STAS. By gods and men I say, do not ever allow that field 520
to become yours nor your son’s.

ei rei argumenta dicam. PHIL. Audire edepol lubet.
STAS. Primum omnium olim terra cum proscinditur,
in quinto quoque sulco moriuntur boves.

for that matter I will state proofs. PHIL. By Pollux, it pleases me to hear. STAS. First of all, at times when the earth is plowed,
in every fifth furrow the oxen die.

PHIL. Apage, Acheruntis ostium in vostrost agro. 525
STAS. Tum vinum prius quam coctumst pendet putidum.
LESB. Consuadet homini, credo. etsi scelestus est,
at mi infidelis non est.

PHIL. Be off, the gate of Acheron is in your field. 525
STAS. Then the wine hangs putrid before it is cooked.
LESB. He advises the man, I believe. Although he is wicked,
yet to me he is not unfaithful.

STAS. Audi cetera.
post id, frumenti quom alibi messis maximast,
tribus tantis illi minus redit quam opseveris. 530
PHIL. Em istic oportet opseri mores malos,
si in opserendo possint interfieri.
STAS. Neque umquam quisquamst, quoius ille ager fuit,
quin pessume ei res vorterit: quoium fuit,
alii exulatum abierunt, alii emortui, 535
alii se suspendere.

STAS. Hear the rest.
after that, when elsewhere the harvest of grain is at its greatest,
there it returns three times as much less than you sowed. 530
PHIL. Look, there one ought to sow bad morals,
if by sowing they could be made to perish.
STAS. Nor has there ever been anyone, whose field that was,
but that his affairs have turned out for the worst: of those to whom it belonged,
some have gone off into exile, others have died out, 535
others have hanged themselves.

em nunc hic quoius est,
ut ad incitas redactust. PHIL. Apage a me istum agrum.
STAS. Magis apage dicas, si omnia ex me audiveris.

Look, now the one whose it is has been reduced to the last extremity.
PHIL. Away with that field from me.
STAS. You would say “away with it” even more, if you had heard everything from me.

nam fulguritae sunt alternae arbores;
sues moriuntur angina acerrume; 540
oves scabrae sunt, tam glabrae, em, quam haec est manus.
tum autem Surorum, genus quod patientissumumst
hominum, nemo extat qui ibi sex menses vixerit:
ita cuncti solstitiali morbo decidunt.
PHIL. Credo ego istuc, Stasime, ita esse; sed Campans genus 545
multo Surorum iam antidit patientia.

for every other tree is lightning-struck;
swine die of angina most fiercely; 540
the sheep are scabby, as hairless—look!—as this hand.
then moreover, of the Syrians, a race which is the most patient of men,
no one exists who has lived there six months:
so all fall by the solstitial disease.
PHIL. I believe that, Stasimus, to be so; but the Campanian race 545
has already by much outdone the Syrians in patience.

sed istest ager profecto, ut te audivi loqui,
malos in quem omnes publice mitti decet,
sicut fortunatorum memorant insulas,
quo cuncti qui aetatem egerint caste suam 550
conveniant; contra istoc detrudi maleficos
aequom videtur, qui quidem istius sit modi.
STAS. Hospitium est calamitatis: quid verbis opust?
quamvis malam rem quaeras, illic reperias.

but it is indeed that field, as I heard you speak,
into which it is fitting that all the wicked be sent by public authority,
just as they recount the islands of the Fortunate,
where all who have spent their lifetime chastely 550
gather; conversely, into that place it seems equitable that malefactors
be thrust, at any rate those who are of that sort. STAS. It is a lodging of calamity: what need is there of words?
whatever evil thing you look for, there you would find it.

PHIL. At tu hercle et illi et alibi. STAS. Cave sis dixeris 555
me tibi dixisse hoc. PHIL. Dixisti arcano satis.

PHIL. But you, by Hercules, to him too and elsewhere. STAS. Mind, please, you do not say 555
that I told you this. PHIL. You have said it secretly enough.

STAS. Quin hic quidem cupit illum ab se abalienarier,
si quem reperire possit cui os sublinat.
PHIL. Meus quidem hercle numquam fiet. STAS. Si sapies quidem.

STAS. Why, this fellow indeed longs to have that man alienated from himself,
if he can find anyone whose mouth he can smear.
PHIL. He, by Hercules, will certainly never become mine. STAS. If you are wise
indeed.

lepide hercle de agro ego hunc senem deterrui; 560
nam qui vivamus nihil est, si illum amiserit.
PHIL. Redeo ad te, Lesbonice. LESB. Dic sodes mihi,
quid hic est locutus tecum?

By Hercules, cleverly I have deterred this old man from the field; 560
for that whereby we live is nothing, if he loses it.
PHIL. I return to you, Lesbonicus. LESB. Tell me, please,
what has this fellow said with you?

PHIL. Quid censes? homost:
volt fieri liber, verum quod det non habet.
LESB. Et ego esse locuples, verum nequiquam volo. 565
STAS. Licitumst, si velles; nunc, quom nihil est, non licet.

PHIL. What do you think? He’s a man:
he wants to be made free, but he hasn’t got what to give.
LESB. And I want to be wealthy too, but I want it in vain. 565
STAS. It was permitted, if you had wanted; now, since there is nothing, it is not permitted.

LESB. Quid tecum, Stasime? STAS. De istoc quod dixti modo:
si ante voluisses, esses; nunc sero cupis.
PHIL. De dote mecum convenire nil potest:
quid tibi lubet tute agito cum nato meo. 570
nunc tuam sororem filio posco meo.

LESB. What about you, Stasimus? STAS. About that which you just said:
if you had wanted earlier, you would be; now you desire too late. PHIL. As for the dowry, nothing can be settled with me:
whatever you please, deal yourself with my son. 570
now I ask for your sister for my son.

quae res bene vortat. quid nunc? etiam consulis?

may this matter turn out well. what now? are you still consulting?

LESB. Quid istic? quando ita vis: di bene vortant. spondeo.

LESB. What then? Since you so will it: may the gods turn it well. I pledge.

STAS. Numquam edepol quoiquam <tam> expectatus filius
natus quam illuc est spondeo natum mihi. 575
di fortunabunt vostra consilia. PHIL. Ita volo.
LESB. Sed, Stasime, abi huc ad meam sororem ad Calliclem,
dic hoc negoti quo modo actumst.

STAS. Never, by Pollux, to anyone has a son so expected been born as, I guarantee, that one has been born—to me. 575
the gods will make your counsels fortunate. PHIL. So I will it.
LESB. But, Stasimus, go over here to my sister at Callicles’ place,
tell how this business has been transacted.

STAS. Ibitur.
LESB. Et gratulator meae sorori. STAS. Scilicet.

STAS. I will go.
LESB. And I will congratulate my sister. STAS. Of course.

PHIL. I hac, Lesbonice, mecum, ut coram nuptiis 580
dies constituatur; eadem haec confirmabimus.—
LESB. [Tu istuc cura quod iussi. ego iam hic ero.—]
dic Callicli, me ut convenat. STAS. Quin tu i modo.

PHIL. Come this way, Lesbonicus, with me, so that for the nuptials a day may be appointed in person; we will confirm these same things.— 580
LESB. [You see to that which I ordered. I will be here presently.—]
tell Callicles to meet me. STAS. Why don’t you just go.

LESB. De dote ut videat quid opus sit facto. STAS. I modo.
LESB. Nam certumst sine dote haud dare.

LESB. About the dowry, so that he may see what needs to be done. STAS. Just go.
LESB. For it is settled not to give her without a dowry.

STAS. Quin tu i modo. 585
LESB. Neque enim illi damno umquam esse patiar STAS. Abi modo.
LESB. Meam neglegentiam. STAS. I modo.

STAS. Why don’t you just go. 585
LESB. For I will never allow it to be to his damage— STAS. Just go.
LESB. My negligence. STAS. Just go.

LESB. <Nullo modo>
aequom videtur quin quod peccarim STAS. I modo.
LESB. Potissimum mi id obsit. STAS. I modo.

LESB. <By no means>
it does not seem equitable that, because I have erred— STAS. Just go.
LESB. Let that, most especially, be to my detriment. STAS. Just go.

LESB. O pater,
enumquam aspiciam te? — STAS. I modo, i modo, i modo. 590
tandem impetravi abiret. di vestram fidem,
edepol re gesta pessume gestam probe,
si quidem ager nobis salvos est; etsi admodum
in ambiguo est etiam nunc quid ea re fuat.
sed id si alienatur, actumst de collo meo, 595
gestandust peregre clupeus, galea, sarcina:
effugiet ex urbe, ubi erunt factae nuptiae,
ibit istac, aliquo, in maximam malam crucem,
latrocinatum, aut in Asiam aut in Ciliciam.

LESB. O father,
shall I ever behold you? — STAS. Just go, just go, just go. 590
At last I have prevailed that he depart. Ye gods, by your faith,
by Pollux, the affair handled most badly, surely,
if indeed the field is safe for us; although very much
it is still in doubt even now what may come of that matter.
but if that is alienated, it is all over with my neck, 595
a shield, a helmet, a pack must be borne abroad:
he will flee from the city, when the nuptials have been done,
he will go that way, somewhere, to the very worst gallows,
to go banditing, either into Asia or into Cilicia.

ibo huc quo mi imperatumst, etsi odi hanc domum, 600
postquam exturbavit hic nos ex nostris aedibus.—

I will go hither where it has been commanded me, even though I hate this house, 600
since this man drove us out from our own house.—

ACTVS III

ACT 3

III.i
CALLICLES Quo modo tu istuc, Stasime, dixti? STASIMVS Nostrum erilem
filium
Lesbonicum suam sororem despondisse. em hoc modo.

3.i
CALLICLES In what manner did you say that, Stasimus? STASIMVS Our master's
son
Lesbonicus has betrothed his own sister. See, in this way.

CALL. Cui homini despondit? STAS. Lysiteli Philtonis filio,
sine dote. CALL. Sine dote ille illam in tantas divitias dabit? 605
non credibile dicis.

CALL. To what man did he betroth her? STAS. To Lysiteles, son of Philto,
without a dowry. CALL. Without a dowry will he give her into such great riches? 605
you say what is not credible.

STAS. At tu edepol nullus creduas.
si hoc non credis, ego credidero — C. Quid? S. Me nihili pendere.

STAS. But, by Pollux, don’t you believe it at all.
if you don’t believe this, I shall have believed — C. What? S. That I value myself at nothing at all.

CALL. Quam dudum istuc aut ubi actumst? STAS. Ilico hic ante ostium,
tam modo, inquit Praenestinus. CALL. Tanton in re perdita,
quam in re salva Lesbonicus factus est frugalior? 610
STAS. Atque equidem ipsus ultro venit Philto oratum filio.

CALL. How long ago was that, or where was it done? STAS. Right here
before the door, just now, says the Praenestine. CALL. Has Lesbonicus become so much more frugal in a lost affair,
than in a sound affair? 610
STAS. And indeed Philto himself came of his own accord to beg for his son.

CALL. Flagitium quidem hercle fiet, nisi dos dabitur virgini.
postremo edepol ego istam rem ad me attinere intellego.
ibo ad meum castigatorem atque ab eo consilium petam.—
STAS. Propemodum quid illic festinet sentio et subolet mihi: 615
ut agro evortat Lesbonicum, quando evortit aedibus.

CALL. A scandal indeed, by Hercules, will happen, unless a dowry is given to the virgin.
finally, by Pollux, I understand that that matter pertains to me.
I will go to my castigator and from him seek counsel.—
STAS. I pretty much sense what he is hurrying there for, and it smells to me: 615
that he may uproot Lesbonicus from his land, since he has uprooted him from his house.

o ere Charmides, quam apsenti hic tua res distrahitur tibi!
utinam te rediisse salvom videam, ut inimicos tuos
ulciscare, ut mihi, ut erga te fui et sum, referas gratiam.
nimium difficilest reperiri amicum ita ut nomen cluet, 620
quoi tuam quom rem credideris, sine omni cura dormias.

o master Charmides, how in your absence your property here is being sold off for you!
would that I may see you returned safe, so that you may avenge yourself on your enemies,
so that you may return favor to me, as I have been and am toward you.
it is excessively difficult to find a friend such as the name proclaims, 620
to whom, when you have entrusted your affair, you may sleep without any care.

sed generum nostrum ire eccillum video cum adfini suo.
nescio quid non satis inter eos convenit: celeri gradu
eunt uterque, ille reprehendit hunc priorem pallio.
haud ineuscheme astiterunt.

but I see our son-in-law—there he is—going with his in-law.
I don’t know what it is that’s not quite agreed between them: at a quick pace
both are going; that one catches hold of this one by the front of his cloak.
they have halted, not ungracefully.

huc aliquantum apscessero: 625
est lubido orationem audire duorum adfinium.

I will withdraw somewhat over here: 625
there is a desire to hear the oration of the two in-laws.

III.ii
LYSITELES Sta ilico, noli avorsari neque te occultassis mihi.
LESBONICVS Potin ut me ire quo profectus sum sinas? LYS. Si in rem tuam,
Lesbonice, esse videatur, gloriae aut famae, sinam.

III.ii
LYSITELES Stand right there, do not turn away nor hide yourself from me.
LESBONICVS Could you let me go where I set out to go? LYS. If it seem to be to your advantage,
Lesbonicus, for your glory or your fame, I will allow it.

LESB. Quod est facillumum, facis. LYS. Quid id est? LESB. Amico iniuriam. 630
LY. Neque meumst neque facere didici.

LESB. That which is easiest, you do. LYS. What is that? LESB. An injury to a friend. 630
LY. Neither is it mine nor have I learned to do it.

LE. Indoctus quam docte facis.
quid faceres, si quis docuisset te, ut sic odio esses mihi?
[qui] bene cum simulas facere mihi te, male facis, male consulis.

LE. Untaught, how learnedly you do!
what would you do, if someone had taught you, so that you would be thus hateful to me?
[qui] while you pretend to do well by me, you do ill; you counsel ill.

LYS. Egone? LESB. Tune. LYS. Quid male facio?

LYS. Me? LESB. You. LYS. What am I doing wrong?

LESB. Quod ego nolo, id cum facis.
LYS. Tuae rei bene consulere cupio. LESB. Tu [mihi] es melior quam 635
egomet mihi?

LESB. When you do what I do not want.
LYS. I desire to counsel well for your interest. LESB. You [to me] are
better than 635
I myself to myself?

sat sapio, satis in rem quae sint meam ego conspicio mihi.
LYS. An id est sapere, ut qui beneficium a benevolente repudies?
LESB. Nullum beneficium esse duco id quod quoi facias non placet.

I am wise enough; I sufficiently perceive for myself what things are to my own interest.
LYS. Is that to be wise, that you repudiate a beneficence from a benevolent man?
LESB. I deem that to be no beneficence which does not please him for whom you do it.

scio ego et sentio ipse quid agam, neque mens officio migrat,
nec tuis depellar dictis quin rumori serviam. 640
LYS. Quid ais? nam retineri nequeo quin dicam ea quae promeres:
itan tandem hanc maiores famam tradiderunt tibi tui,
ut virtute eorum anteparta per flagitium perderes?
atque honori posterorum tuorum ut vindex fieres,
tibi paterque avosque facilem fecit et planam viam 645
ad quaerundum honorem: tu fecisti ut difficilis foret,
culpa maxume et desidia tuisque stultis moribus.

I know and I myself perceive what I am doing, nor does my mind stray from duty,
nor am I driven off by your words from serving rumor. 640
LYS. What do you say? for I cannot be restrained from saying the things you elicit:
is it thus then that your ancestors handed down this reputation to you,
that you should lose, through flagitium, what was previously won by their virtue?
and, that you might be a champion for the honor of your descendants,
your father and grandfather made for you an easy and level way 645
to seek honor: you have made it difficult, chiefly by fault and sloth and by your foolish manners.

praeoptavisti, amorem tuom uti virtuti praeponeres.
nunc te hoc pacto credis posse optegere errata? aha, non itast:
cape sis virtutem animo et corde expelle desidiam tuo: 650
in foro operam amicis da, ne in lecto amicae, ut solitus es.
atque ego istum agrum tibi relinqui ob eam rem enixe expeto,
ut tibi sit qui te corrigere possis, ne omnino inopiam
cives obiectare possint tibi, quos tu inimicos habes.

you have preferred, to put your amour before virtue.
now do you believe that by this method you can cover over your errata? aha, it is not so:
do, please, take up virtue in your spirit and from your heart expel sloth: 650
in the forum give service to your friends, not in your mistress’s bed, as you are wont.
and I earnestly request for that reason that that field be left to you,
so that you may have wherewith you can correct yourself, so that the citizens
may not at all be able to object poverty to you, whom you have as enemies.

LESB. Omnia ego istaec quae tu dixti scio, vel exsignavero, 655
ut rem patriam et gloriam maiorum foedarim meum:
scibam ut esse me deceret, facere non quibam miser;
ita vi Veneris vinctus, otio captus in fraudem incidi.
et tibi nunc, proinde ut merere, summas habeo gratias.
LYS. At operam perire meam sic et te haec dicta corde spernere ~ 660
perpeti nequeo, simul me piget parum pudere te;
et postremo, nisi mi auscultas atque hoc ut dico facis,
tute pone te latebis facile, ne inveniat te Honor,
in occulto iacebis cum te maxume clarum voles.

LESB. I know all those things which you have said, nay, I would even countersign them, 655
that I have befouled the commonwealth and the glory of my forefathers as my own:
I knew what it became me to be; wretch that I am, I could not do it;
thus, bound by the force of Venus, seized by idleness, I fell into fraud.
and to you now, just as you merit, I have the highest thanks.
LYS. But that my effort thus perish and that you spurn these words from the heart ~ 660
I cannot endure, and at the same time it irks me that you are too little ashamed;
and finally, unless you listen to me and do this as I say,
you yourself will hide yourself easily, lest Honor find you,
you will lie in concealment when you most wish yourself to be most renowned.

pernovi equidem, Lesbonice, ingenium tuom ingenuom admodum; 665
scio te sponte non tuapte errasse, sed amorem tibi
pectus opscurasse; atque ipse Amoris teneo omnis vias.
ita est amor, ballista ut iacitur: nihil sic celere est neque volat;
atque is mores hominum moros et morosos efficit:
minus placet magis quod suadetur, quod dissuadetur placet; 670
quom inopiast, cupias, quando eius copiast, tum non velis;
[ille qui aspellit is compellit, ille qui consuadet vetat.]
insanum [et] malumst in hospitium devorti ad Cupidinem.
sed te moneo hoc etiam atque etiam, ut reputes quid facere expetas.

I have thoroughly known indeed, Lesbonicus, your quite ingenuous nature; 665
I know that you did not err of your own will, but that love
has obscured your breast; and I myself know all the ways of Love.
such is love, as if it is hurled from a ballista: nothing is so swift nor flies so;
and it makes the manners of men capricious and morose:
the more something is urged, the less it pleases; what is dissuaded pleases; 670
[he who drives off compels, he who counsels forbids.]
it is insane [and] evil to turn in as a guest to Cupid.
but I warn you again and again, to reconsider what you aim to do.

si istuc, ut conare, facis ~ indicium tuom incendes genus; 675
tum igitur tibi aquae erit cupido, genus qui restinguas tuom,
atque si eris nactus, proinde ut corde amantes sunt cati—
ne scintillam quidem relinques, genus qui congliscat tuom.
LESB. Facilest inventu: datur ignis, tametsi ab inimico petas.
sed tu obiurgans me a peccatis rapis deteriorem in viam. 680
meam [vis] sororem tibi dem suades sine dote.

if you do that, as you are trying ~ by your informing you will set your lineage ablaze; 675
then indeed you will have a craving for water, to extinguish your lineage,
and even if you get it, just as lovers are shrewd at heart—
you will not leave even a scintilla by which your lineage might rekindle.
LESB. It is easy to find: fire is given, even if you seek it from an enemy.
but you, objurgating me for my sins, drag me onto a worse way. 680
you advise that I give my [wish] sister to you without a dowry.

aha, non convenit
me, qui abusus sum tantam rem patriam, porro in ditiis
esse agrumque habere, egere illam autem, ut me merito oderit.
numquam erit alienis gravis qui suis se concinnat levem.
sicut dixi, faciam: nolo te iactari diutius. 685
LYS. Tanto meliust te sororis causa egestatem exsequi
atque eum agrum me habere, quam te, tua qui toleres moenia?

aha, it does not befit
me, who have abused so great a patrimony, to be furthermore in riches
and to have a field, while she is in need, so that she, with merit, may hate me.
never will he be burdensome to others who makes himself light to his own.
just as I said, I will do: I do not want you to be tossed about any longer. 685
LYS. So much the better, for your sister’s sake, to undergo want yourself
and for me to have that field, rather than you, you who support your own walls?

LESB. Nolo ego mihi te tam prospicere, qui meam egestatem leves,
sed ut inops infamis ne sim, ne mi hanc famam differant,
me germanam meam sororem in concubinatum tibi, 690
si sine dote <dem>, dedisse magis quam in matrimonium.
quis me improbior perhibeatur esse? haec famigeratio
te honestet, me conlutulentet, si sine dote duxeris:
tibi sit emolumentum honoris, mihi quod obiectent siet.

LESB. I do not want you to look out for me so much, you who would lighten my poverty,
but rather that I not be needy and infamous, that they not spread this report about me,
that I have given my own full sister into concubinage to you, 690
if I should give her without a dowry, that I have given her rather into matrimony.
who would be held more wicked than I? this report
would honor you, would befoul me, if you should lead her without a dowry as wife:
for you let there be an emolument of honor, for me something for them to object.

LYS. Quid? te dictatorem censes fore, si aps te agrum acceperim? 695
LESB. Neque volo neque postulo neque censeo, verum tamen
is est honos homini pudico, meminisse officium suom.
LYS. Scio equidem te animatus ut sis; video, subolet, sentio:
id agis, ut, ubi adfinitatem inter nos nostram adstrinxeris
atque eum agrum dederis nec quicquam hic tibi sit qui vitam colas, 700
effugias ex urbe inanis; profugus patriam deseres,
cognatos, adfinitatem, amicos factis nuptiis:
mea opera hinc proterritum te meaque avaritia autument.

LYS. What? do you reckon you’ll be dictator, if I take a field from you? 695
LESB. I neither wish it nor demand it nor suppose it; nevertheless,
this is the honor for a modest man: to remember his own duty.
LYS. I, for my part, know how you are minded; I see it, it savors of it, I sense it:
you are aiming at this—that, when you have tied the affinity between us
and have given that field, and there is here nothing for you with which to cultivate life, 700
you may flee out of the city empty-handed; as a refugee you will desert your fatherland,
your cognates, your affinity, your friends, once the wedding has been done:
they will aver that by my doing you were scared away from here, and by my avarice.

id me commissurum ut patiar fieri, ne animum induxeris.
STAS. Non enim possum quin exclamem euge. euge, Lysiteles, palin. 705
facile palmam habes: hic victust, vicit tua comoedia.

Do not make up your mind that I will commit that—suffer it to be done.
STAS. For I cannot but exclaim “bravo.” Bravo, Lysiteles, again. 705
easily you have the palm: he is beaten; your comedy has conquered.

hic agit magis ex argumento et versus melioris facit.
etiam ob stultitiam tuam te ~ curis multabo mina.
LESB. Quid tibi interpellatio aut in consilium huc accessio est?

he acts more from the argument and makes better verses.
also, on account of your stupidity, I will mulct you ~ with cares, a mina.
LESB. What is an interruption to you, or a coming-in hither into our council?

S. Eodem pacto, quo huc accessi, apscessero. LE. I hac mecum domum, 710
Lysiteles, ibi de istis rebus plura fabulabimur.
LYS. Nil ego in occulto agere soleo.

S. In the same fashion in which I came here, I will go away. LE. Go this way home with me, 710
Lysiteles, there we will talk more about those matters.
LYS. I am not accustomed to do anything in secret.

meus ut animust, eloquar:
si mihi tua soror, ut ego aequom censeo, ita nuptum datur,
sine dote, neque tu hinc abituru's, quod meum erit id erit tuom;
sin aliter animatus es, bene quod agas eveniat tibi, 715
ego amicus numquam tibi ero alio pacto. sic sententia est.—
STAS. Abiit [hercle] ille quidem. ecquid audis, Lysiteles?

As my mind is, I will speak out:
if your sister is given to me in marriage, as I judge fair, in such wise,
without a dowry, and you will not be going away from here; what will be mine will be yours;
but if you are minded otherwise, may what you do turn out well for you, 715
I will never be a friend to you on any other terms. Such is my decision.—
STAS. He indeed has gone away [by Hercules]. Do you hear at all, Lysiteles?

ego te volo.
hic quoque hinc abiit. Stasime, restas solus.

i want you.
this one too has gone away from here. Stasimus, you remain alone.

quid ego nunc agam,
nisi uti sarcinam constringam et clupeum ad dorsum accommodem,
fulmentas iubeam suppingi soccis? non sisti potest. 720
video caculam militarem me futurum haud longius:
ad aliquem regem in saginam erus sese coniciet meus;
credo ad summos bellatores acrem fugitorem fore
et capturum spolia ibi illum qui [meo] ero adversus venerit.
egomet autem quom extemplo arcum [mihi] et pharetram et sagittas sumpsero, 725
cassidem in caput, dormibo placide in tabernaculo.

what am I now to do,
except to constrict my pack and accommodate the shield to my back,
and order supports to be stuffed under my slippers? there can be no standing still. 720
I see I am going to be a military scullion before long:
my master will throw himself into fattening at some king’s place;
I reckon he will prove a keen fugitive before the very top war-fighters,
and will seize the spoils there from the one who shall have come against my master.
but I myself, when at once I have taken up [for myself] the bow and the quiver and the arrows, 725
the helmet on my head, I shall sleep peacefully in the tabernacle.

ad forum ibo: nudius sextus quoi talentum mutuom
dedi, reposcam, ut habeam, mecum quod feram, viaticum.—

I will go to the forum: the man to whom six days ago I gave a talent on loan, I will demand it back, so that I may have, with me to carry, travel-money.—

III.iii
MEGARONIDES Vt mihi rem narras, Callicles, nullo modo
potest fieri prosus quin dos detur virgini.                                    730
CALLICLES Namque hercle honeste fieri ferme non potest,
ut eam perpetiar ire in matrimonium
sine dote, quom eius rem penes me habeam domi.
MEG. Parata dos domist; nisi expectare vis,
ut eam sine dote frater nuptum conlocet.                         735
post adeas tute Philtonem et dotem dare
te ei dicas, facere id eius ob amicitiam patris.
verum hoc ego vereor, ne istaec pollicitatio
te in crimen populo ponat atque infamiam;
non temere dicant te benignum virgini:                                    740
datam tibi dotem, ei quam dares, eius a patre,
ex ea largiri te illi, neque ita ut sit data
columem te sistere illi, et detraxe autument.

III.iii
MEGARONIDES As you tell the matter to me, Callicles, in no way at all can it come to pass but that a dowry be given to the maiden.                                    730
CALLICLES For indeed, by Hercules, it can hardly be done honorably
that I should allow her to go into matrimony
without a dowry, since I have her property in my control at home.
MEG. The dowry is ready at home; unless you wish to wait,
for her brother to place her in marriage without a dowry.                         735
Afterwards you yourself should go to Philto and say that you give
the dowry to him, doing this on account of his friendship with the father.
But I truly fear this, lest that promise
place you under a charge before the people and into ill-fame;
they may be quick to say you are being bountiful to the maiden:                                  740
that the dowry given to you by her father, for you to give to him,
you are dispensing to him out of it, and that not as it was given,
to stand as a pillar to him, and they allege you have skimmed off.

nunc si opperiri vis adventum Charmidi,
perlongumst: huic ducendi interea abscesserit 745
lubido; atque ea condicio huic vel primaria est.
CALL. Nam hercle omnia istaec veniunt in mentem mihi.
vide si hoc utibile magis atque in rem deputas,
ut adeam Lesbonicum, edoceam ut res se habet.

now if you wish to await the advent of Charmides,
it is very long: meanwhile from this man the libido of marrying (of leading her home) will have withdrawn; and that condition is to him even primary. 745
CALL. For by Hercules all those things come into my mind.
see whether you deem this more utile and to the matter,
that I go to Lesbonicus and instruct him how the affair stands.

sed ut ego nunc adulescenti thensaurum indicem 750
indomito, pleno amoris ac lasciviae?
minime, minime hercle vero. nam certo scio,
locum quoque illum omnem, ubi situst, comederit;
quem fodere metuo, sonitum ne ille exaudiat
neu rem ipsam indaget, dotem dare si dixerim. 755
MEG. Quo pacto ergo igitur clam dos depromi potest?

but how am I now to indicate a treasure to the adolescent 750
indomitable, full of love and lasciviousness?
By no means, by no means, by Hercules, indeed. for I certainly know
he would even consume that whole place where it is situated;
which I fear to dig, lest he overhear the sound and track out the very matter, if I say I will give a dowry. 755
MEG. In what manner, then, can the dowry be drawn forth clandestinely?

CALL. Dum occasio ei <rei> reperiatur, interim
ab amico alicunde mutuom argentum rogem.
MEG. Potin est ab amico alicunde exorari? CALL. Potest.

CALL. While an occasion for that matter is found, in the meantime
I should ask to borrow silver from a friend somewhere.
MEG. Is it possible to obtain it from a friend somewhere? CALL. It is.

MEG. Gerrae. ne tu illud verbum actutum inveneris: 760
'mihi quidem hercle non est quod dem mutuom.'
CALL. Malim hercle ut verum dicas, quam ut des mutuom.
MEG. Sed vide consilium, si placet.

MEG. Nonsense. You’ll surely find that word straightway: 760
‘indeed, by Hercules, I have nothing to give on loan.’
CALL. I would rather, by Hercules, that you speak the truth than that you give a loan.
MEG. But look at the plan, if it pleases.

CALL. Quid consilist?
MEG. Scitum, ut ego opinor, consilium inveni. CALL. Quid est?

CALL. What is the counsel?
MEG. I have found, as I opine, a fine counsel. CALL. What is it?

MEG. Homo conducatur aliquis iam, quantum potest, 765
[quasi sit peregrinus. CALL. Quid is scit facere postea?]
ignota facie, quae <hic> non visitata sit; 768
mendacilocum aliquem [CALL. Quid is scit facere postea?]
falsidicum, confidentem. CALL. Quid tum postea?

MEG. Let someone be hired now, as quickly as possible, 765
[as if he were a foreigner. CALL. What does he know to do after that?]
with an unknown face, one which has not been seen <here>; 768
some mendacious talker [CALL. What does he know to do after that?]
a falsidical diviner, self-confident. CALL. What then after that?

MEG. Is homo exornetur graphice in peregrinum modum;            767
quasi ad adulescentem a patre ex Seleucia                                    771
veniat, salutem ei nuntiet verbis patris:
illum bene gerere rem et valere et vivere,
et eum rediturum actutum; ferat epistulas
duas, eas nos consignemus, quasi sint a patre:             775
det alteram illi, alteram dicat tibi
dare sese velle. CALL. Perge porro dicere.
MEG. Seque aurum ferre virgini dotem a patre
dicat patremque id iussisse aurum tibi dare.

MEG. Let that man be smartly outfitted in foreign fashion;            767
as if he were coming to the youth from his father from Seleucia                                    771
let him come, and announce greetings to him in the father’s words:
that he is managing his affairs well and is in good health and living,
and that he will return straightway; let him carry letters
two, let us seal them, as if they are from the father:             775
let him give one to him, the other he should say he wishes to give to you
to give. CALL. Go on, go on to say.
MEG. And let him say that he is bringing gold, a dowry, for the maiden from the father,
and that the father ordered that gold to be given to you.

tenes iam? CALL. Propemodo, atque ausculto perlubens. 780
MEG. Tum tu igitur demum adulescenti aurum dabis,
ubi erit locata virgo in matrimonium.
CALL. Scite hercle sane.

Do you get it now? CALL. Almost, and I listen most gladly. 780
MEG. Then at last you will give the gold to the young man,
when the maiden has been placed in marriage.
CALL. Clever, by Hercules, indeed.

MEG. Hoc, ubi thensaurum effoderis,
suspicionem ab adulescente amoveris:
censebit aurum esse a patre allatum tibi, 785
tu de thensauro sumes. CALL. Satis scite et probe;
quamquam hoc me aetatis sycophantari pudet.
sed epistulas quando opsignatas adferet,
[sed quom opsignatas attulerit epistulas] 788a
nonne arbitraris eum adulescentem anuli
paterni signum novisse?

MEG. This, when you have dug up the treasure,
you will remove suspicion from the young man:
he will reckon that the gold has been brought to you by his father, 785
you will take from the treasure. CALL. Quite shrewdly and properly;
although at my age I am ashamed to play the sycophant.
but when he brings the letters sealed,
[but when he shall have brought the letters sealed] 788a
do you not suppose that the young man knows the signet of the
paternal ring?

MEG. Etiam tu taces?
sescentae ad eam rem causae possunt conligi:
illum quem habuit perdidit, alium post fecit novom.~
iam si opsignatas non feret, dici hoc potest,
apud portitorem eas resignatas sibi
inspectasque esse. in huius modi negotio 795
diem sermone terere segnities merast:
quam vis sermones possunt longi texier.

MEG. Are you silent too?
six hundred causes can be collected for that matter:
the one she had she lost; afterward she fashioned another new one.~
now if he does not bring them sealed, this can be said:
that at the toll-collector’s they were unsealed for him
and inspected. In business of this kind 795
to waste a day in talk is mere sloth:
however long discourses can be woven.

abi ad thensaurum iam confestim clanculum,
servos ancillas amove. atque audin? CALL. Quid est?

go to the treasure now at once, secretly,
remove the servants and handmaids. And do you hear? CALL. What is it?

MEG. Vxorem quoque eampse hanc rem uti celes face, 800
nam pol tacere numquam quicquamst quod queat.
quid nunc stas? quin tu hinc amoves et te moves?

MEG. Make it so that you conceal this matter from your wife herself as well, 800
for, by Pollux, there is never anything she can keep silent about.
why are you standing now? why don’t you move things away from here and get yourself moving?

aperi, deprome inde auri ad hanc rem quod sat est,
continuo operito denuo; sed clanculum,
sicut praecepi; cunctos exturba aedibus. 805
CALL. Ita faciam. MEG. At enim nimis longo sermone utimur,
diem conficimus quod iam properatost opus.
nihil est de signo quod vereare; me vide:
lepida est illa causa, ut commemoravi, dicere
apud portitores esse inspectas.

open, draw forth from there gold for this affair as is sufficient,
immediately cover it again; but clandestinely,
as I have prescribed; expel all from the house. 805
CALL. I will do so. MEG. But indeed we are using too long a discourse,
we are finishing the day, whereas the task is now pressing.
nothing about the seal that you should fear; look at me:
that pretext is charming, as I have commemorated, to say
that they have been inspected among the portitors (customs-collectors).

denique 810
diei tempus non vides? quid illum putas,
natura illa atque ingenio? iam dudum ebriust.

finally 810
do you not see the time of day? what do you think of that fellow,
with that nature and temperament? he’s been drunk for a good while already.

quidvis probare poterit; tum, quod maxumumst,
adferre, non petere hinc se dicet. CALL. Iam sat est.
MEG. Ego sycophantam iam conduco de foro 815
epistulasque iam consignabo duas,
eumque huc <ad> adulescentem meditatum probe
mittam.

he will be able to prove anything; then, which is the greatest point,
he will say that he brings, not asks for, from here. CALL. Now that is enough.
MEG. I will now hire a sycophant from the forum 815
and I will now seal two epistles,
and I will send him here to the adolescent, well-prepared,
coached.

CALL. Eo ego igitur intro ad officium meum.
tu istuc age. — MEG. Actum reddam nugacissume.—

CALL. Therefore I go inside to my duty.
you do that. — MEG. I’ll get it done, you greatest trifler.—

ACTVS IV

ACT 4

IV.i
CHARMIDES Salsipotenti et mulsipotenti Iovis fratri et Nerei Neptuno 820
laetus lubens laudes ago et grates gratiasque habeo et fluctibus salsis,
quos penes mei <fuit saepe> potestas, bonis meis quid foret et meae vitae,
quom suis med ex locis in patriam suavissumam reducem faciunt.
atque ego, Neptune, tibi ante alios deos gratias ago atque habeo summas;
nam te omnes saevomque severumque atque avidis moribus commemorant, 825
spurcificum, immanem, intolerandum, vesanum: contra opera expertus,
nam pol placido te et clementi meo usque modo, ut volui, usus sum in alto.
atque hanc tuam gloriam iam ante auribus acceperam, et nobilest apud homines,
pauperibus te parcere solitum, dites damnare atque domare.

IV.i
CHARMIDES To the salt-potent and honey-wine-potent brother of Jove and of Nereus, Neptune 820
glad and willing I render praises and I give thanks and thanksgivings, and to the salty billows,
in whose hands there was often power over me, what would be of my goods and of my life,
when from their own places they make me, from my own places, a returnee to my sweetest fatherland.
And I, Neptune, to you before the other gods I give and hold the greatest thanks;
for all commemorate you as savage and severe and of avid manners, 825
filth-making, immense, intolerable, crazed: contrariwise, having tested your deeds,
for, by Pollux, I have used you as placid and clement toward me all along, as I wished, upon the deep.
And this your glory I had already received with my ears, and it is well-known among men,
that you are wont to spare the poor, to condemn and to subdue the rich.

abi, laudo, scis ordine, ut aequomst, tractare homines; hoc dis dignumst.                        830
[semper mendicis modesti sint.]
fidus fuisti: infidum esse iterant; nam apsque foret te, sat scio in alto
distraxissent disque tulissent satellites tui me miserum foede
bonaque omnia <mea> item una mecum passim caeruleos per campos:
ita iam quasi canes, haud secus, circum stabant navem turbines venti,                        835
imbres fluctusque atque procellae infensae frangere malum,
ruere antemnas, scindere vela, ni tua pax propitia foret praesto.
apage a me sis, dehinc iam certumst otio dare me; satis partum habeo
quibus aerumnis deluctavi, filio dum divitias quaero.
sed quis hic est, qui in plateam ingreditur                        840
cum novo ornatu specieque simul?

go on, I commend you: you know how, in due order, as is equitable, to deal with men; this is worthy of the gods.                        830
[let them always be modest toward beggars.]
you have been faithful: they keep saying you are faithless; for, had it not been for you, I well know, on the deep
your satellites would have torn me to pieces and would have borne me off to Dis, wretched me, foully,
and all my goods likewise together with me everywhere over the cerulean fields:
for already, just like dogs—no otherwise—whirlwinds, winds stood around the ship,                        835
rains and billows and squalls, hostile, to break the mast,
to hurl down the yards, to rip the sails, if your favorable peace had not been at hand.
away with that from me, please; henceforth it is settled that I devote myself to leisure; I have enough gotten
by what hardships I have struggled, while I seek riches for my son.
but who is this, who enters the street                        840
with new attire and appearance at the same time?

pol quamquam domi cupio, opperiar,
quam hic rem agat animum advortam. 842a

by Pollux, although I desire to be at home, I will wait,
that I may advert my mind to what business this man is about. 842a

IV.ii
SYCOPHANTA Huic ego die nomen Trinummo faciam: nam ego operam meam
tribus nummis hodie locavi ad artis nugatorias.
advenio ex Seleucia, Macedonia, Asia atque Arabia, 845
quas ego neque oculis nec pedibus umquam usurpavi meis.
viden egestas quid negoti dat homini misero mali,
quin ego nunc subigor trium nummum causa ut hasce epistulas
dicam ab eo homine me accepisse, quem ego qui sit homo nescio
neque novi, neque natus necne is fuerit, id solide scio. 850
CHARM. Pol hic quidem fungino generest: capite se totum tegit.

4.2
THE SYCOPHANT I will give this day the name Three-Coin: for I have hired out my service
today for three coins to the nugatory arts of trickery.
I arrive from Seleucia, Macedonia, Asia and Arabia, 845
places which I have never at any time used with my eyes nor with my feet.
Do you see what business of evil need assigns to a wretched man,
why, I am now compelled, for the sake of three coins, to say that I received these letters
from that man—who he is I do not know, nor am I acquainted with him,
and whether he has been born or not—that, I know solidly not. 850
CHARM. By Pollux, this fellow is indeed of mushroom stock: with his head he covers his whole self.

Hilurica facies videtur hominis, eo ornatu advenit.
SYC. Ille qui me conduxit, ubi conduxit, abduxit domum,
quae voluit mihi dixit, docuit et praemonstravit prius,
quo modo quicque agerem; nunc adeo si quid ego addidero amplius, 855
eo conductor melius de me nugas conciliaverit.
ut ille me exornavit, ita sum ornatus; argentum hoc facit.

The fellow’s look seems Illyrian; he has arrived in that attire.
SYC. The one who hired me, when he had hired me, led me home, told me what he wished, taught me and pre‑demonstrated beforehand
how I should do each thing; now indeed, if I shall have added anything further, 855
by so much the contractor will have procured better trifles out of me.
as he has equipped me, so am I equipped; silver does this.

ipse ornamenta a chorago haec sumpsit suo periculo.
nunc ego si potero ornamentis hominem circumducere,
dabo operam, ut me esse ipsum plane sycophantam sentiat. 860
CHARM. Quam magis specto, minus placet mi haec hominis facies. mira sunt,
ni illic homost aut dormitator aut sector zonarius.

he himself took these ornaments from the choragus at his own risk.
now if I can lead the man around by the ornaments, I will take pains that he may perceive plainly that I am myself a sycophant. 860
CHARM. The more I look, the less this man’s face pleases me. It’s strange, unless that fellow is either a dozer or a girdle-cutter.

loca contemplat, circumspectat sese atque aedis noscitat.
credo edepol, quo mox furatum veniat speculatur loca.
magis lubidost opservare quid agat: ei rei operam dabo. 865
SYC. Has regiones demonstravit mi ille conductor meus;
apud illas aedis sistendae mihi sunt sycophantiae.

He contemplates the places, looks around himself and gets to know the house.
I believe, by Pollux, he is speculating on the spots where he may soon come to steal.
I have more desire to observe what he does: I will give effort to that matter. 865
SYC. Those regions my conductor showed to me;
at that house my sycophancies are to be set up.

fores pultabo. CHARM. Ad nostras aedis hic quidem habet rectam viam.
hercle opinor mi advenienti hac noctu agitandumst vigilias.

I will knock at the doors. CHARM. To our house this fellow indeed has the straight way.
by Hercules, I suppose, for me as I arrive, this night the vigils must be kept.

SYC. Aperite hoc, aperite. heus, ecquis his foribus tutelam gerit? 870
CH. Quid, adulescens, quaeris? quid vis?

SYC. Open here, open up. Hey, does anyone exercise guardianship
for these doors? 870
CH. What do you seek, young man? What do you want?

quid istas pultas? S. Heus senex,
census cum <sum>, iuratori recte rationem dedi.
* * * 872a
Lesbonicum hic adulescentem quaero in his regionibus
ubi habitet, et item alterum ad istanc capitis albitudinem:
Calliclem aiebat vocari qui has dedit mi epistulas. 875
CHARM. Meum gnatum hic quidem Lesbonicum quaerit et amicum meum,
cui ego liberosque bonaque commendavi, Calliclem.

why do you pound at those? S. Hey, old man,
as for the census, I gave a correct account to the jurator.
* * * 872a
I’m looking for the young man Lesbonicus here in these regions,
where he dwells, and likewise another corresponding to that whiteness of head:
he said the one who gave me these letters is called Callicles. 875
CHARM. This fellow indeed is seeking my son Lesbonicus and my friend,
Callicles, to whom I entrusted both my children and my goods.

SYC. Fac me, si scis, certiorem, hisce homines ubi habitent, pater.
CHARM. Quid eos quaeris? aut quis es? aut unde es? aut unde advenis?

SYC. Make me, if you know, more certain where these men dwell, father.
CHARM. Why do you seek them? or who are you? or whence are you? or whence do you arrive?

SYC. Multa simul rogitas, nescio quid expediam potissimum. 880
si unum quidquid singillatim et placide percontabere,
et meum nomen et mea facta et itinera ego faxo scias.
CHARM. Faciam ita ut vis. agedum nomen tuom primum memora mihi.

SYC. Many things you ask at once; I do not know what I should unravel foremost. 880
if you will inquire each thing singly and placidly,
I will make sure that you know my name and my deeds and my journeys.
CHARM. I will do as you wish. Come then, tell me your name first to me.

SYC. Magnum facinus incipissis petere. CH. Quid ita? SYC. Quia, pater,
si ante lucem ire occipias a meo primo nomine, 885
concubium sit noctis prius quam ad postremum perveneris.

SYC. You set about a great undertaking to ask. CH. Why so? SYC. Because, father,
if before light you begin to go from my first name, 885
it will be the bedtime of night before you have reached the last.

CHARM. Opus factost viatico ad tuom nomen, ut tu praedicas.
SYC. Est minusculum alterum, quasi vixillum vinarium.
CHARM. Quid est tibi nomen, adulescens?

CHARM. There’s need of a viaticum to get to your name, as you proclaim.
SYC. There is a smaller second one, like a wine-banner.
CHARM. What is your name, young man?

SYC. Pax, id est nomen mihi.
hoc cotidianumst. CHARM. Edepol nomen nugatorium, 890
quasi dicas, si quid crediderim tibi, pax++periisse ilico.

SYC. Peace, that is my name.
this is an everyday one. CHARM. By Pollux, a trifling name, 890
as if you were saying, if I should trust you in anything, Peace has perished on the spot.

hic homo solide sycophantast. quid ais tu, adulescens? SYC. Quid est?

this man is a thorough sycophant. what do you say, young man? SYC. What is it?

CHARM. Eloquere, isti tibi quid homines debent, quos tu quaeritas?
SYC. Pater istius adulescentis dedit has duas mi epistulas,
Lesbonici. is mi est amicus.

CHARM. Speak out, what is it those men whom you are seeking owe you?
SYC. The father of that young man gave me these two epistles,
of Lesbonicus. He is my friend.

CHARM. Teneo hunc manifestarium. 895
me sibi epistulas dedisse dicit. ludam hominem probe.
SYC. Ita ut occepi, si animum advortas, dicam.

CHARM. I have him as a manifest offender. 895
he says that I gave him the letters. I’ll play the fellow thoroughly.
SYC. Just as I began, if you pay attention, I will speak.

CHARM. Dabo operam tibi.
SYC. Hanc me iussit Lesbonico suo gnato dare epistulam,
et item hanc alteram suo amico Callicli iussit dare.
CHARM. Mihi quoque edepol, quom hic nugatur, contra nugari lubet. 900
[ubi ipse erat?

CHARM. I will attend to you.
SYC. He ordered me to give this letter to Lesbonicus, his son,
and likewise he ordered me to give this other to his friend Callicles.
CHARM. By Pollux, I too, when this fellow trifles, like to trifle back in return. 900
[where was he himself?

SY. Bene rem gerebat. CH. Ergo ubi? SY. In Seleucia.

SY. He was conducting the matter well. CH. So where? SY. In Seleucia.

CH.] Ab ipson istas accepisti? SYC. E manibus dedit mi ipse in manus.
CH. Qua facie est homo?

CH.] Did you receive those from himself? SYC. From his hands he himself gave them to me into my hands.
CH. What sort of face has the man?

S. Sesquipede quiddamst quam tu longior.
CHARM. Haeret haec res, siquidem ego apsens sum quam praesens longior.
novistin hominem?

S. He is something a foot-and-a-half longer than you.
CHARM. This sticks; since indeed I am, when absent, longer than when present longer.
Do you know the man?

SYC. Ridicule rogitas, quicum una cibum 905
capere soleo. CH. Quid est ei nomen? SYC. Quod edepol homini probo.

SYC. You ask ridiculously—the one with whom I am accustomed to take food together. 905
to take. CH. What is his name? SYC. One, by Pollux, fitting for an upright man.

CHARM. Lubet audire. SYC. Illi edepol — illi — illi — vae misero mihi.
CHARM. Quid est negoti?

CHARM. I’d like to hear. SYC. To him, by Pollux — to him — to him — woe to miserable me.
CHARM. What is the business?

SYC. Devoravi nomen imprudens modo.
CHARM. Non placet qui amicos intra dentes conclusos habet.
SYC. Atque etiam modo vorsabatur mi in labris primoribus. 910
CHARM. Temperi huic hodie anteveni.

SYC. I inadvertently swallowed the name just now.
CHARM. I don’t like one who keeps his friends shut up within his teeth.
SYC. And even just now it was turning for me on my foremost lips—on the tip of my lips. 910
CHARM. Seasonably I forestalled this fellow today.

SYC. Teneor manifesto miser.
CHARM. Iam recommentatu's nomen? SYC. Deum hercle me atque hominum pudet.

SYC. I am caught manifest, wretched.
CHARM. Have you now recollected the name? SYC. By Hercules, I am ashamed before gods and men.

CH. Vide modo ut hominem noveris. S. Tam quam me. fieri istuc solet,
quod in manu teneas atque oculis videas, id desideres.
litteris recomminiscar.

CH. Only see to it that you know the man. S. As well as myself. That thing is wont to happen,
that what you hold in your hand and see with your eyes, that you desire. By the letters I will recall it.

<C> est principium nomini. 915
CH. Callias? S. Non est. CH. Callippus?

<C> is the beginning of the name. 915
CH. Callias? S. It is not. CH. Callippus?

S. Non est. CH. Callidemides?
S. Non est.

S. It is not. CH. Callidemides?
S. It is not.

CH. Callinicus? S. Non est. CH. Callimarchus?

CH. Callinicus? S. It is not. CH.
Callimarchus?

S. Nil agis.
neque adeo edepol flocci facio, quando egomet memini mihi.
CHARM. At enim multi Lesbonici sunt hic: nisi nomen patris
dices, non monstrare istos possum homines quos tu quaeritas. 920
quod ad exemplum est?

S. You achieve nil.
nor indeed, by Pollux, do I value it a floccus, since I myself remember for myself.
CHARM. But indeed many Lesbonici are here: unless you say the father’s name,
I cannot point out those men whom you seek. 920
what is the example?

coniectura si reperire possumus.
SYC. Ad hoc exemplum est — CHARM. An Chares? an Charmides?

if we can find it by conjecture.
SYC. It conforms to this example — CHARM. Is it Chares? Is it Charmides?

SYC. Enim
Charmides.
em istic erit. qui istum di perdant.

SYC. Indeed
Charmides.
look, there he is. May the gods destroy that fellow.

dixi ego iam dudum tibi:
* * * 923a
CHARM. Te potius bene dicere aequomst homini amico, quam male.
SYC. Satin inter labra atque dentes latuit vir minimi preti?
CH. Ne male loquere apsenti amico.

I told you some time ago already:
* * * 923a
CHARM. It is more equitable that you speak well to a friendly man, rather than ill.
SYC. Was the man of the very least price kept well enough hidden between your lips and teeth?
CH. Do not speak ill of a friend who is absent.

SYC. Quid ergo ille ignavissumus
mihi latitabat? CHARM. Si appellasses, respondisset, nomine.
sed ipse ubi est?

SYC. Why then was that most slothful fellow
hiding from me? CHARM. If you had called, he would have responded, to his name.
but where is he himself?

S. Pol illum reliqui ad Rhadamantem in Cecropia insula.~
CH. Quis homo est me insipientior, qui ipse, egomet ubi sim, quaeritem?
sed nil disconducit huic rei. quid ais?

S. By Pollux, I left him with Rhadamanthus on the Cecropian island.~
CH. Who is a man more foolish than I, who myself, I myself, should be asking where I am?
but that is of no disadvantage to this matter. What say you?

quid hoc quod te rogo? 930
quos locos adiisti? SYC. Nimium mirimodis mirabiles.
CHARM. Lubet audire, nisi molestumst.

what about what I’m asking you? 930
what places did you visit? SYC. Too marvelously marvelous.
CHARM. It is pleasing to hear, unless it is bothersome.

SYC. Quin discupio dicere.
omnium primum in Pontum advecti ad Arabiam terram sumus.
CH. Eho an etiam Arabiast in Ponto?

SYC. Why, I’m itching to tell it.
First of all, we were carried to Pontus, to the Arabian land.
CH. Eh? Is there even an Arabia in Pontus?

S. Est: non illa ubi tus gignitur,
sed ubi apsinthium fit atque cunila gallinacea. 935
CHARM. Nimium graphicum hunc nugatorem. sed ego sum insipientior,
qui egomet unde redeam hunc rogitem, quae ego sciam atque hic nesciat;
nisi quia lubet experiri, quo evasurust denique.
sed quid ais?

S. It is: not that land
where frankincense is engendered,
but where absinthe is made and cunila gallinacea. 935
CHARM. Excessively graphic, this trifler. but I am more unwise,
that I myself should ask this fellow whence I return, things which I know and he does not;
unless because it pleases me to try where he is finally going to come out.
but what do you say?

quo inde isti porro? SYC. Si animum advortes, eloquar.
ad caput amnis, quod de caelo exoritur sub solio Iovis. 940
CH. Sub solio Iovis?

whither then did you go on from there? SYC. If you turn your mind, I will declare it.
to the head of a river, which rises from heaven beneath the throne of Jove. 940
CH. Beneath the throne of Jove?

S. Ita dico. CH. E caelo? S. Atque <e> medio quidem.

S. I say so. CH. From the sky? S. And indeed from the very midst.

CH. Eho an etiam in caelum escendisti? S. Immo horiola advecti sumus,
usque aqua advorsa per amnem. CHARM. Eho an tu etiam vidisti Iovem?

CH. Hey, did you even ascend into heaven? S. On the contrary, in a little skiff we were conveyed,
all the way, with the water adverse, through the river. CHARM. Hey, did you even see Jove?

SYC. Alii di isse ad villam aiebant servis depromptum cibum.
deinde porro — CHARM. Deinde porro nolo quicquam praedices. 945
SYC. <Sed — CHA. Abe>o hercle, si es molestus. nam pudicum neminem,
<Pax, refe>rre oportet, qui aps terra ad caelum pervenerit.

SYC. Others were saying they had gone to the villa to fetch out food for the slaves. then furthermore — CHARM. I don’t want you to predict anything “furthermore.” 945
SYC. But— CHA. By Hercules, I’ll go away if you’re a nuisance. For—peace!—it is proper to report nothing: no modest man tells that he has made it from earth up to heaven.

SYC. <Facia>m ita ut te velle video. sed monstra hosce homines mihi,
quos ego quaero, quibus me oportet has deferre epistulas.
CHARM. Quid ais?

SYC. <I will do> so as I see you wish. but show me these men,
whom I am seeking, to whom it behooves me to deliver these epistles.
CHARM. What do you say?

tu nunc si forte eumpse Charmidem conspexeris, 950
illum quem tibi istas dedisse commemoras epistulas,
norisne hominem? SYC. Ne tu me edepol arbitrare beluam,
qui quidem non novisse possim quicum aetatem exegerim.
an ille tam esset stultus, qui mihi mille nummum crederet
Philippum, quod me aurum deferre iussit ad gnatum suom 955
atque ad amicum Calliclem, quoi rem aibat mandasse hic suam?

now if by chance you yourself should catch sight of Charmides himself, 950
that man whom you recall to have given you those letters,
would you know the man? SYC. Do not, by Pollux, think me a brute,
that I indeed could possibly not know the one with whom I have spent my lifetime.
or would he be so foolish as to entrust to me a thousand Philippi (gold pieces),
since he ordered me to carry the gold to his son 955
and to his friend Callicles, to whom he said he had committed his affair?

mihi concrederet, nisi me ille et ego illum nossem approbe?
CHARM. Enim vero ego nunc sycophantae huic sycophantari volo,
si hunc possum illo mille nummum Philippum circumducere,
quod sibi me dedisse dixit, quem ego qui sit homo nescio 960
neque oculis ante hunc diem umquam vidi. eine aurum crederem,
quoi, si capitis res sit, nummum numquam credam plumbeum?

would he have entrusted it to me, unless he knew me and I him full well?
CHARM. Indeed, for my part, I now want to sycophant to this sycophant,
if I can lead this fellow around for that thousand-coin Philippus,
which he said that I had given to himself, the man who he is I do not know 960
nor have I ever seen with my eyes before this day. Should I entrust gold
to one to whom, even if it were a capital matter, I would never entrust a lead coin?

adgrediundust hic homo mi astu. heus, Pax, te tribus verbis volo.
SYC. Vel trecentis.

this man must be approached by me with cunning. hey, Pax, I want you for three words.
SYC. Or three hundred.

CHARM. Haben tu id aurum quod accepisti a Charmide?
SYC. Atque etiam Philippum, numeratum illius in mensa manu, 965
mille nummum. CHARM. Nempe ab ipso id accepisti Charmide?

CHARM. Have you that gold which you received from Charmides?
SYC. And besides, a Philippus, counted out by his hand on the table, 965
a thousand in coin. CHARM. Surely you received that from Charmides himself?

SYC. Mirum quin ab avo eius aut proavo acciperem, qui sunt mortui.
CH. Adulescens, cedo dum istuc aurum mi. S. Quod ego aurum dem tibi?
CH. Quod a me te accepisse fassu's. S. Aps te accepisse?

SYC. Strange—why not say I got it from his grandfather or great‑grandfather, who are dead.
CH. Young man, come, hand over that gold to me. S. What gold am I to give you?
CH. The gold which you admitted you received from me. S. Received from you?

CH. Ita loquor.
S. Quis tu homo es? CH. Qui mille nummum tibi dedi ego sum Charmides. 970
SYC. Neque edepol tu is es neque hodie is umquam eris, auro huic quidem.
abi sis, nugator: nugari nugatori postulas.

CH. I speak thus.
S. Who are you, man? CH. I am Charmides, the one who gave you a thousand coins. 970
SYC. By Pollux, you are not that person, nor today will you ever be, at least as to this gold here.
be off, please, you trifler: you demand to trifle with a trifler.

CH. Charmides ego sum. S. Nequiquam hercle es, nam nihil auri fero.
nimis argute obrepsisti in eapse occasiuncula:
postquam ego me aurum ferre dixi, post tu factu's Charmides; 975
prius tu non eras, quam auri feci mentionem.

CH. I am Charmides. S. In vain, by Hercules, you are, for I bear no gold.
you have too shrewdly insinuated yourself into this very little opportunity:
after I said that I was bearing gold, after that you became Charmides; 975
before, you were not, until I made mention of gold.

nihil agis;
proin tu te, itidem ut charmidatus es, rursum recharmida.
CHARM. Quis ego sum igitur, siquidem is non sum qui sum? SYC. Quid id ad
me attinet?

You’re doing nothing;
so you, just as you are Charmidated, again re‑Charmida yourself.
CHARM. Who am I then, since I am not who I am? SYC. What does that concern
me?

dum ille ne sis quem ego esse nolo, sis mea causa qui lubet.
prius non is eras qui eras: nunc is factu's qui tum non eras. 980
CHARM. Age si quid agis. SYC. Quid ego agam?

so long as you are not the one whom I do not want you to be, be for my sake whoever you please.
before you were not the one you were: now you have been made the one you then were not. 980
CHARM. Come on, if you are doing anything. SYC. What am I to do?

CHARM. Aurum redde. SYC.
Dormitas, senex.
CHARM. Fassu's Charmidem dedisse aurum tibi.

CHARM. Give back the gold. SYC.
You are dozing, old man.
CHARM. You have confessed that Charmides gave the gold to you.

SYC. Scriptum quidem.
CHARM. Properas an non properas ire actutum ab his regionibus,
dormitator, prius quam ego hic te iubeo mulcari male?
SYC. Quam ob rem?

SYC. In writing, indeed.
CHARM. Do you hasten or do you not hasten to go at once from these regions, sleepyhead, before I here order you to be badly thrashed?
SYC. For what reason?

CHARM. Quia illum quem ementitus es, ego sum ipsus 985
Charmides,
quem tibi epistulas dedisse aiebas. SYC. Eho, quaeso, an tu is es?
CHARM. Is enim vero sum. SYC. Ain tu tandem?

CHARM. Because that man whom you pretended to be, I am myself 985
Charmides,
whom you were saying had given you epistles. SYC. Hey, pray, are you he?
CHARM. Indeed I am he. SYC. Do you really, then?

is ipsusne es? CHARM. Aio.
SYC. Ipsus es?
C. Ipsus, inquam, Charmides sum. S. Ergo ipsusne es? C. Ipsissimus.

Are you the very one yourself? CHARM. I say so.
SYC. Are you the very one?
C. The very one, I say; I am Charmides. S. So you are the very one? C. The very very one.

abin hinc ab oculis? SYC. Enim vero serio, quoniam advenis—
vapulabis meo arbitratu et novorum aedilium. 990
CHARM. At etiam maledicis? SYC. Immo, salvos quandoquidem advenis—
di te perdant, si te flocci facio an periisses prius.

Will you be off from my eyes? SYC. Yes indeed, in earnest, since you have arrived—
you will be thrashed at my discretion and at that of the new Aediles. 990
CHARM. Do you even insult? SYC. Rather, since you have come safe—
may the gods destroy you, if I care a straw whether you had perished earlier.

ego ob hanc operam argentum accepi, te macto infortunio:
ceterum qui sis, qui non sis, floccum non interduim.
ibo, ad illum renuntiabo qui mihi tris nummos dedit, 995
ut sciat se perdidisse. ego abeo.

I for this service have received silver; I devote you to ill-fortune:
but who you are, who you are not, I do not value a floccus.
I will go; I will report back to that man who gave me three coins, 995
so that he may know he has lost it. I am going away.

male vive et vale.
qui te di omnes advenientem peregre perdant, Charmides.—
CHARM. Postquam illic hinc abiit, post loquendi libere
videtur tempus venisse atque occasio.
iam dudum meum ille pectus pnngit aculeus, 1000
quid illi negoti fuerit ante aedis meas.

live badly and farewell.
may all the gods destroy you arriving from abroad, Charmides.—
CHARM. After that fellow went away from here, now the time for speaking freely seems to have come, and the occasion.
for a long time now that goad pricks my breast, 1000
what business he had before my house.

nam epistula illa mihi concenturiat metum
in corde et illud mille nummum quam rem agat.
numquam edepol temere tinnit tintinnabulum:
nisi qui illud tractat aut movet, mutumst, tacet. 1005
sed quis hic est, qui huc in plateam cursuram incipit?
lubet observare quid agat: huc concessero.

for that letter concentrates fear for me in my heart,
and as for that affair of the thousand coins, what is it about?
by Pollux, a tintinnabulum never tinkles rashly:
unless someone handles or moves it, it is mute, it is silent. 1005
but who is this, who begins to run here into the street?
it pleases me to observe what he does: I will withdraw here.

IV.iii
STASIMVS Stasime, fac te propere celerem, recipe te ad dominum domum,
ne subito metus exoriatur scapulis stultitia tua.
adde gradum, adpropera. iam dudum factumst, cum abiisti domo. 1010
cave sis tibi, ne bubuli in te cottabi crebri crepent,
si aberis ab eri quaestione.

IV.iii
STASIMVS Stasimus, make yourself quickly swift, take yourself back to the master’s house,
lest sudden fear arise for your shoulders through your stupidity.
add your step, hurry along. it has long since been due, since you went away from home. 1010
beware for yourself, lest frequent oxhide thongs crack upon you,
if you will be away from the master’s questioning.

ne destiteris currere.
ecce hominem te, Stasime, nihili: satin in thermipolio
condalium es oblitus, postquam thermopotasti gutturem?
recipe te et recurre petere <re> recenti.

do not desist from running.
look at you, Stasimus, a man of nothing: are you quite, in the thermopolium,
have you forgotten the basin, after you thermo-quaffed your gullet?
turn yourself back and run back to fetch it while the thing is still fresh, recent.

CHARM. Huic, quisquis est, 1015
gurguliost exercitor: is hunc hominem cursuram docet.
STAS. Quid, homo nihili, non pudet te? tribusne te poteriis
memoriam esse oblitum? an vero, quia cum frugi hominibus
ibi bibisti, qui ab alieno facile cohiberent manus?

CHARM. For him, whoever he is, 1015
the gullet is the exerciser: it teaches this man to run.
STAS. What, you good-for-nothing, are you not ashamed? Have three potations made you forget your memory? Or indeed, because you drank there with frugal men, who would easily cohibit their hands from another’s property?

Truthus fuit, Cerconicus, Crinnus, Cercobulus, Collabus, 1020
oculicrepidae cruricrepidae, ferriteri mastigiae:
inter eosne homines condalium te redipisci postulas?
quorum eorum unus surrupuit currenti cursori solum.
CH. Ita me di ament, graphicum furem.

There were Truthus, Cerconicus, Crinnus, Cercobulus, Collabus, 1020
eye-snappers, shin-snappers, iron-wrought scourge-rascals:
is it among those men that you demand to get your condalium back?
one of whom filched from a running runner his sole.
CH. So may the gods love me, a graphic thief.

S. Quid ego quod periit petam?
nisi etiam laborem ad damnum apponam epithecam insuper. 1025
quin tu quod periit periisse ducis? cape vorsoriam,
recipe te ad erum.

S. Why should I seek what has perished?
unless I am even to add toil to my loss, a surcharge besides. 1025
why don’t you reckon that what has perished has perished? take the tack‑rope,
make back to your master.

CHARM. Non fugitivost hic homo, commeminit domi.
STAS. Vtinam veteres homin<um mor>es, veteres parsimoniae
potius <in> maiore honore hic essent quam mores mali.
CHARM. Di immortales, basilica hic quidem facinora inceptat loqui. 1030
vetera quaerit, vetera amare hunc more maiorum scias.

CHARM. This man is no fugitive; he remembers home.
STAS. Would that the ancient mores of men, the ancient parsimonies,
rather were in greater honor here than evil mores.
CHARM. Immortal gods, he is indeed beginning to speak of basilical crimes.
he seeks the old things; know that this man loves the old things after the custom of the ancestors. 1030

STAS. Nam nunc mores nihili faciunt quod licet, nisi quod lubet:
ambitio iam more sanctast, liberast a legibus;
scuta iacere fugereque hostis more habent licentiam:
petere honorem pro flagitio more fit. CHARM. Morem improbum. 1035
STAS. Strenuiores praeterire more fit. CHARM. Nequam quidem.

STAS. For now morals make nothing of what is permitted, except what one pleases:
ambition is now by custom sanctified, liberated from the laws;
to cast away shields and to flee the foe they have license by custom:
to seek honor for a flagitious crime is done by custom. CHARM. A wicked custom. 1035
STAS. To pass over the more strenuous is done by custom. CHARM. Worthless indeed.

STAS. Mores leges perduxerunt iam in potestatem suam,
magisque is sunt obnoxiosae quam parentes liberis.
eae miserae etiam ad parietem sunt fixae clavis ferreis,
ubi malos mores adfigi nimio fuerat aequius. 1040
CHARM. Lubet adire atque appellare hunc; verum ausculto perlubens
et metuo, si compellabo, ne aliam rem occipiat loqui.
STAS. Neque istis quicquam lege sanctumst: leges mori serviunt,
mores autem rapere properant qua sacrum qua publicum.

STAS. The mores have now brought the laws into their own power,
and the laws are more subject to them than parents to their children.
those poor things are even fastened to the wall with iron nails,
where it would have been by far more equitable that bad mores be affixed. 1040
CHARM. I am pleased to go up and address him; but I listen right gladly
and I fear, if I accost him, lest he begin to speak about another matter.
STAS. Nor is anything held sacred by law among those men: the laws serve the mores,
but the mores hasten to snatch both what is sacred and what is public.

CHARM. Hercle istis malam rem magnam moribus dignumst dari. 1045
S. Nonne hoc publice animum advorti? nam id genus hominum omnibus
univorsis est advorsum atque omni populo male facit:
male fidem servando illis quoque abrogant etiam fidem,
qui nil meriti; quippe eorum ex ingenio ingenium horum probant.
hoc qui in mentem venerit mihi?

CHARM. By Hercules, to those men it is fitting that a great evil, worthy of their morals, be given. 1045
S. Did I not notice this publicly? For that kind of men is adverse to all universally and does ill to the whole people:
by keeping faith badly they even abrogate trust for those who have deserved nothing;
indeed from the character of those they prove the character of these. How has this come into my mind?

re ipsa modo commonitus sum. 1050
si quoi mutuom quid dederis, fit pro proprio perditum:
quom repetas, inimicum amicum beneficio invenias tuo.
si mage exigere occupias, duarum rerum exoritur optio:
vel illud quod credideris perdas, vel illum amicum amiseris.
CH. Meus est hic quidem Stasimus servos.

I have just now been admonished by the matter itself. 1050
if you give someone anything as a loan, it turns out lost as if it were his own:
when you demand it back, you find a friend an enemy because of your benefaction.
if you set yourself more to exact it, an option of two things arises:
either you lose that which you have credited, or you will have lost that friend.
CH. This slave Stasimus is indeed mine.

S. Nam ego talentum mutuom 1055
quoi dederam, talento inimicum mi emi, amicum vendidi.
sed ego sum insipientior, qui rebus curem publicis
potius quam, id quod proxumumst, meo tergo tutelam geram.
eo domum.

S. For I, a talent on loan 1055
which I had given to someone, with a talent bought myself an enemy, sold a friend.
but I am more insipient, who take care for public affairs
rather than, that which is nearest, bear tutelage for my own back.
I go home.

CH. Heus tu, asta ilico. audi. S. Heus tu, non sto.

CH. Hey, you, stand right there. Listen. S. Hey, you,
I’m not standing.

CH. Te volo.
ST. Quid si ego me te velle nolo? CH. Aha nimium, Stasime, saeviter. 1060
S. Emere meliust cui imperes.

CH. You I want.
ST. What if I do not want myself to want you? CH. Aha, too much, Stasimus, savagely. 1060
S. It is better to buy one whom you may command.

CH. Pol ego emi atque argentum dedi;
sed si non dicto audiens est, quid ago? STAS. Da magnum malum.
CHARM. Bene mones, ita facere certumst.

CH. By Pollux, I bought and paid the silver;
but if he is not obedient to my word, what am I to do? STAS. Give a great punishment.
CHARM. You advise well; it is determined to do so.

STAS. Nisi quidem es obnoxius.
CHARM. Si bonus es, obnoxius sum; sin secus es, faciam ut iubes.
STAS. Quid id ad me attinet, bonisne servis tu utare an malis? 1065
CHARM. Quia boni malique in ea re pars tibi est.

STAS. Unless indeed you are under obligation.
CHARM. If you are good, I am bound; if otherwise, I will do as you order.
STAS. What’s that to me, whether you make use of good slaves or bad? 1065
CHARM. Because you have a share in that matter as to good and bad.

STAS. Partem alteram
tibi permitto; illam alteram apud me, quod bonist, apponito.
CHARM. Si eris meritus, fiet. respice huc ad me. ego sum Charmides.

STAS. The other half
I permit to you; the other half, enter with me as credit.
CHARM. If you shall have merited, it will be done. Look here to me. I am Charmides.

STAS. Hem quis est qui mentionem homo hominis fecit optumi?
CHARM. Ipsus homo optumus. STAS. Mare terra caelum, di vestram fidem, 1070
satin ego oculis plane video?

STAS. Ha! who is the man who made mention of the best of men?
CHARM. The very man himself, the best man. STAS. Sea, earth, sky, gods,
your good faith, 1070
do I see plainly enough with my eyes?

estne ipsus an non est? is est,
certe is est, is est profecto. o mi ere exoptatissime,
salve.

is it himself or is it not? he it is,
surely he it is, he it is indeed. o my most longed-for master,
hail.

CH. Salve, Stasime. S. Salvom te — CH. Scio et credo tibi.
sed omitto alia, hoc mihi responde: liberi quid agunt mei,
quos reliqui hic filium atque filiam?

CH. Greetings, Stasimus. S. Safe be you— CH. I know and I trust you.
but I pass over other matters, answer me this: what are my children doing,
whom I left here, a son and a daughter?

STAS. Vivont, valent. 1075
CH. Nempe uterque? S. Vterque. CH. Di me salvom et servatum volunt.

STAS. They live, they are well. 1075
CH. Surely both? S. Both. CH. The gods wish me safe and saved.

cetera intus otiose percontabor quae volo.
eamus intro, sequere. S. Quo tu te agis?

the rest I will at leisure inquire within, what I wish.
let us go inside, follow. S. Where are you going?

CH. Quonam nisi domum?
STAS. Hicine nos habitare censes? CHARM. Vbinam ego alibi censeam?

CH. Where else but home?
STAS. Do you suppose we live here? CHARM. Where else would I suppose?

S. Iam — CH. Quid iam? S. Non sunt nostrae aedis istae. CH. Quid 1080
ego ex te audio?

S. Now — CH. What now? S. This is not our house. CH. What 1080
do I hear from you?

STAS. Vendidit tuos natus aedis. CHARM. Perii. STAS. Praesentariis
argenti minis numeratis — CH. Quot?

STAS. Your son sold your house. CHARM. I am undone. STAS. For ready cash,
the silver minas counted out — CH. How many?

S. Quadraginta. CH. Occidi.
quis eas emit?

S. Forty. CH. I am slain.
who bought them?

STAS. Callicles, cui tuam rem commendaveras;
is habitatum huc commigravit nosque exturbavit foras.
CHARM. Vbi nunc filius meus habitat? STAS. Hic in hoc posticulo. 1085
CHARM. Male disperii.

STAS. Callicles, to whom you had commended your estate;
he has moved here to live and has expelled us out of doors.
CHARM. Where does my son live now? STAS. Here in this back-entrance. 1085
CHARM. I have perished utterly.

STAS. Credidi aegre tibi id, ubi audisses, fore.
CHARM. Ego miserrumis periclis sum per maria maxuma
vectus, capitali periclo per praedones plurimos
me servavi, salvos redii: nunc hic disperii miser,
propter eosdem quorum causa fui hac aetate exercitus. 1090
adimit animam mi aegritudo. Stasime, tene me. STAS. Visne aquam
tibi petam?

STAS. I thought it would go hard with you, when you heard that.
CHARM. I have been borne through the very greatest seas in the most wretched perils,
in capital peril among very many pirates I preserved myself, I returned safe: now here I have perished, poor wretch,
on account of the same men for whose sake I have been exercised at this age. 1090
sickness takes away my breath. Stasimus, hold me. STAS. Do you want me
to fetch water for you?

CH. Res quom animam agebat, tum esse offusam oportuit.

CH. The matter, when it was at its last gasp, then it ought to have been smothered.

IV.iv
CALLICLES Quid hoc hic clamoris audio ante aedis meas?
CHARM. O Callicles, o Callicles, o Callicles,
qualine amico mea commendavi bona? 1095
CALL. Probo et fideli et fido et cum magna fide.
et salve et salvom te advenisse gaudeo.

4.4
CALLICLES What is this clamor I hear here before my house?
CHARM. O Callicles, O Callicles, O Callicles,
to what sort of friend did I commend my goods? 1095
CALL. A good one, both faithful and trusty, and with great faith.
and hail, and I rejoice that you have arrived safe.

CHARM. Credo, omnia istaec si ita sunt ut praedicas.
sed quis iste est tuos ornatus? CALL. Ego dicam tibi.

CHARM. I believe it, all those things, if they are as you proclaim.
but what is that outfit of yours? CALL. I will tell you.

thensaurum effodiebam intus, dotem, filiae 1100
tuae quae daretur. sed intus narrabo tibi
et hoc et alia. sequere.

I was digging up a treasure inside, a dowry, to be given to your daughter 1100
but inside I will tell you this and other things as well.
follow me.

CH. Stasime. ST. Hem. CH. Strenue
curre in Piraeum, atque unum curriculum face.

CH. Stasimus. ST. Eh? CH.
Briskly
run to the Piraeus, and make a single run.

videbis iam illic navem qua advecti sumus.
iubeto Sangarionem quae imperaverim 1105
curare ut efferantur, et tu ito simul.
solutumst portitori iam portorium:
nihil est morae.

you will now see there the ship by which we have been conveyed.
order Sangarion to see to the things which I have commanded 1105
that they be carried out, and you go along at the same time.
the port-duty has now been paid to the portitor:
there is no delay.

i, i, ambula, actutum redi.
STAS. Illic sum atque hic sum. CALL. Sequere tu hac me intro.CHARM.
Sequor.

go, go, walk, come back immediately.
STAS. I am there and I am here. CALL. Follow me this way
inside.CHARM.
I follow.

STAS. Hic meo ero amicus solus firmus restitit, 1110
neque demutavit animum de firma fide,
quamquam labores multos
sed hic unus, ut ego suspicor, servat fidem.
~ ob rem laborem eum ego cepisse censeo.—

STAS. Here, for my master, a friend alone stood firm, 1110
nor did he change his mind from firm faith,
although many labors
but this one, as I suspect, preserves faith.
~ for the matter I judge him to have undertaken that labor.—

ACTVS V

ACT 5

V.i
LYSITELES Hic homost omnium hominum praecipuos, 1115
voluptatibus gaudiisque antepotens:
ita commoda quae cupio eveniunt,
quod ago adsequitur, subest, subsequitur,
ita gaudiis gaudium suppeditat.
modo me Stasimus Lesbonici servos convenit <domi>; 1120
is mihi dixit, suom erum peregre huc advenisse Charmidem.
nunc mi is propere conveniundust, ut quae cum eius filio
egi, ei rei fundus pater sit potior.

5.1
LYSITELES This man is, of all men, most pre-eminent, 1115
paramount in pleasures and joys:
so the advantages I desire come to pass,
what I do attains, is at hand, follows up,
thus joy supplies joy to joy.
just now Stasimus, Lesbonicus’s slave, met me <at home>; 1120
he told me his master had arrived here from abroad, Charmides.
now I must meet him quickly, so that, as to what I have dealt with his son,
the father may be the better foundation for that matter.

eo <quantum potest>.
sed fores hae sonitu suo mihi moram obiciunt incommode.

I go <as fast as possible>.
But these doors, with their own sound, inconveniently throw delay in my way.

V.ii
CHARMIDES Neque fuit neque erit neque esse quemquam hominem in terra 1125
arbitror,
quoi fides fidelitasque amicum erga aequiperet tuam;
nam exaedificavisset me ex his aedibus, apsque te foret.
CALLICLES Si quid amicum erga bene feci aut consului fideliter,
non videor meruisse laudem, culpa caruisse arbitror.
[nam beneficium, homini proprium quod datur, ~ prosumpserit, 1130
quod datum utendumst, id repetundi copiast quando velit.]
CHARM. Est ita ut tu dicis.

V.ii
CHARMIDES Neither has there been nor will there be nor do I think there is any man on earth 1125
I reckon,
whose faith and fidelity toward a friend would equal yours;
for he would have turned me out of these house-walls; without you it would have been so.
CALLICLES If I have done anything well toward a friend or have counseled faithfully,
I do not seem to have deserved praise; I think I have merely been free of fault.
[for a beneficence, what is given to a man as his own, if he has consumed it, ~ let him have consumed it;
what is given to be used, there is the means of reclaiming it whenever he wishes.] 1130
CHARM. It is as you say.

sed ego hoc nequeo mirari satis,
eum sororem despondisse suam in tam fortem familiam.
CALL. Lysiteli quidem Philtonis filio. LYS. Enim me nominat.

But I cannot admire this enough,
that he has betrothed his sister into so strong a family.
CALL. Indeed, to Lysitelus, Philto’s son. LYS. For he names me.

CHARM. Familiam optumam occupavit. LYS. Quid ego cesso hos conloqui? 1135
sed maneam etiam opinor, namque hoc commodum orditur loqui.
CH. Vah.

CHARM. He has secured a most excellent family. LYS. Why do I delay
to speak with these men? 1135
but I think I should also wait, for just now he begins to speak.
CH. Bah.

CALL. Quid est? CH. Oblitus intus dudum tibi sum dicere:
modo mi advenienti nugator quidam occessit obviam,
nimis pergraphicus sycophanta; is mille nummum se aureum
meo datu tibi ferre et gnato Lesbonico aibat meo; 1140
quem ego nec qui esset noram, neque eum ante usquam conspexi prius.
sed quid rides?

CALL. What is it? CH. I forgot inside just now
to tell you:
just now, as I was arriving, a certain trifler accosted me to my face,
a most consummate sycophant; he said that, by my grant, he was carrying a thousand gold coins
to bring to you and to my son Lesbonicus; 1140
whom I neither knew who he was, nor had I ever anywhere seen him before.
but why are you laughing?

CALL. Meo adlegatu venit, quasi qui aurum mihi
ferret aps te, quod darem tuae gnatae dotem, ut filius
tuos, quando illi a me darem, esse allatum id aps te crederet
neu qui rem ipsam posset intellegere, [et] thensaurum tuom 1145
me esse penes, atque eum [a] me lege populi patrium posceret.
CHARM. Scite edepol. CALL. Megaronides communis hoc meus et tuos
benevolens commentust.

CALL. He came by my commission, as one who would bring me gold from you,
to give as a dowry to your daughter, so that your son, when I gave it to him,
might believe that it had been brought from you, and so that no one could understand the matter itself, [and] that your treasure 1145
was in my keeping, and that he might demand it [from] me by the people’s law as paternal property.
CHARM. Clever, by Pollux. CALL. Megaronides, our common benevolent friend, has contrived this.

CHARM. Quin conlaudo consilium et probo.
LYS. Quid ego ineptus, dum sermonem vereor interrumpere,
solus sto nec quod conatus sum agere ago? hominis conloquar. 1150
CH. Quis hic est, qui huc ad nos incedit?

CHARM. Indeed I both commend and approve the plan.
LYS. Why, foolish me, while I fear to interrupt the conversation,
do I stand alone and not do what I set out to do? I will speak with the man. 1150
CH. Who is this, who is striding here toward us?

L. Charmidem socerum suom
Lysiteles salutat. CHARM. Di dent tibi, Lysiteles, quae velis.
CALL. Non ego sum salute dignus?

L. Charmides, his father-in-law—Lysiteles salutes him.
Lysiteles greets him. CHARM. May the gods grant you, Lysiteles, what you wish.
CALL. Am I not worthy of a salutation?

LYS. Immo salve, Callicles;
hunc priorem aequomst me habere: tunica propior palliost.
CALL. Deos volo consilia vostra <vobis> recte vortere. 1155
CHARM. Filiam meam tibi desponsam esse audio. LYS. Nisi tu nevis.

LYS. Nay rather, hail, Callicles;
it is fair that I hold this man as prior: the tunic is nearer than the pallium.
CALL. I want the gods to turn your counsels aright <for you>. 1155
CHARM. I hear that my daughter is betrothed to you. LYS. Unless you are unwilling.

CH. Immo haud nolo. L. Sponden ergo tuam gnatam uxorem mihi?
CHARM. Spondeo, et mille auri Philippum dotis.

CH. Nay, I am not unwilling. L. Do you then pledge your daughter to me as wife?
CHARM. I pledge it, and a thousand Philippi of gold as dowry.

LYS. Dotem nil moror.
CHARM. Si illa tibi placet, placenda dos quoque est quam dat tibi.
postremo quod vis non duces, nisi illud quod non vis feres. 1160
CALL. Ius hic orat.

LYS. I don’t care a whit for the dowry.
CHARM. If she pleases you, the dowry too which she gives to you must be pleasing.
finally you will not marry what you wish, unless you will bear that which you do not wish. 1160
CALL. He speaks justice here.

LYS. Impetrabit te advocato atque arbitro.
istac lege filiam tuam sponden mi uxorem dari?
CH. Spondeo.

LYS. He will obtain it with you as advocate and arbiter.
by that law do you promise your daughter to be given to me as wife?
CH. I promise.

C. Et ego spondeo idem hoc. L. Oh salvete, adfines mei.
CHARM. Atque edepol sunt res, quas propter tibi tamen suscensui.

C. And I likewise promise this same. L. Oh, greetings, my affines.
CHARM. And, by Pollux, there are matters on account of which nevertheless I have been angry with you.

LYS. Quid ego feci? CHARM. Meum corrumpi quia perpessu's filium. 1165
LYS. Si id mea voluntate factumst, <est> quod mihi suscenseas.

LYS. What have I done? CHARM. Because you have suffered my son to be corrupted. 1165
LYS. If that was done by my will, <there is> reason for you to be angry with me.

sed sine me hoc aps te impetrare quod volo. CH. Quid id est? L. Scies.

but allow me to obtain this from you which I want. CH. What is that? L. You will know.

si quid stulte fecit, ut ea missa facias omnia.
quid quassas caput? CH. Cruciatur cor mi, et metuo.

if he has done anything foolish, that you let all that go.
why do you shake your head? CH. My heart is tormented, and I fear.

L. Quidnam id est?
CHARM. Quom ille itast ut esse nolo, id crucior; metuo, si tibi 1170
denegem quod me oras, ne te leviorem erga me putes.
non gravabor.

L. What then is that?
CHARM. When he is such as I do not wish him to be, I am excruciated; I fear, if to you 1170
I deny what you entreat me for, lest you think me lighter toward you. I shall not be reluctant.

faciam ita ut vis. LYS. Probus es. eo, ut illum evocem.
CHARM. Miserumst, male promerita, ut merita sunt, si ulcisci non licet.

I will do so as you wish. LYS. You are upright. I’ll go to call him out.
CHARM. It’s wretched—ill‑merited as her deserts are—if it is not permitted to avenge.

LYS. Aperite hoc, aperite propere et Lesbonicum, si domist,
[foras] evocate: ita subitost propere quod eum conventum volo. 1175
LESBONICVS Quis homo tam tumultuoso sonitu me excivit [subito] foras?
LYS. Benevolens tuos atque amicus. LESB. Satine salve?

LYS. Open this, open quickly, and Lesbonicus, if he is at home,
[outside] call out: so sudden and urgent is it that I wish to convene with him. 1175
LESBONICVS Who is the man with so tumultuous a sound that roused me [suddenly] outside?
LYS. A well-wisher of yours and a friend. LESB. Are you well enough?

dic mihi.
LYS. Recte. tuom patrem rediisse salvom peregre gaudeo.

tell me.
LYS. Right. I rejoice that your father has returned safe from abroad.

LE. Quis id ait? LY. Ego. LE. Tun vidisti?

LE. Who says that? LY.I.LE. Did you yourself see?

LY. Et tute item videas licet.
LESB. O pater, pater mi, salve. CHARM. Salve multum, gnate mi. 1180
LESB. Si quid tibi, pater, laboris — CHARM. Nihil evenit, ne time:
bene re gesta salvos redeo — si tu modo frugi esse vis.

LY. And you too may see for yourself.
LESB. O father, my father, hail. CHARM. Hail much, my son. 1180
LESB. If you had, father, any hardship— CHARM. Nothing has happened, do not fear:
with the matter well managed I return safe—if only you wish to be frugal.

haec tibi pactast Callicli <huius> filia. LESB. Ego ducam, pater,
et eam et si quam aliam iubebis. CHARM. Quamquam tibi suscensui,
miseria <una> uni quidem hominist adfatim.

this woman has been betrothed to you, the daughter of this Callicles. LESB. I will marry her, father,
both her and, if you will order, any other. CHARM. Although I was incensed at you,
one misery is quite enough for a single man.

CALL. Immo huic parumst, 1185
nam si pro peccatis centum ducat uxores, parumst.
LESB. At iam posthac temperabo. CHARM. Dicis, si facies modo.

CALL. Nay, for this fellow it is too little, 1185
for even if, for his sins, he should marry a hundred wives, it is too little.
LESB. But henceforth I will be temperate. CHARM. You say so, if only you will do it.

LYS. Numquid causaest quin uxorem cras domum ducam? CHARM. [optimumst.]
Licet.
tu in perendinum paratus sis ut ducas.

LYS. Is there any cause why I should not lead my wife home tomorrow? CHARM. [It's best.]
You may.
you be prepared for the day after tomorrow to lead her.

V. Plaudite.

V. Applaud.