Apuleius: METAMORPHOSES

[1] At ego tibi sermone isto Milesio varias fabulas conseram auresque tuas benivolas lepido susurro permulceam — modo si papyrum Aegyptiam argutia Nilotici calami inscriptam non spreveris inspicere — , figuras fortunasque hominum in alias imagines conversas et in se rursus mutuo nexu refectas ut mireris. Exordior. "Quis ille?" Paucis accipe.

[1] But I will weave for you, in that Milesian style of speech, various fabulae and soothe your benevolent ears with a charming whisper — provided only that you do not scorn to look upon an Egyptian papyrus inscribed with the wit of the Nilotic reed —, the figures and fortunes of men turned into other images and again refashioned into themselves by a mutual nexus, so that you marvel. I begin. "Who is he?" Take it in a few words.

Hymettos Attica et Isthmos Ephyrea et Taenaros Spartiatica, glebae felices aeternum libris felicioribus conditae, mea vetus prosapia est; ibi linguam Atthidem primis pueritiae stipendiis merui. Mox in urbe Latia advena studiorum Quiritium indigenam sermonem aerumnabili labore nullo magistro praeeunte aggressus excolui. En ecce praefamur veniam, siquid exotici ac forensis sermonis rudis locutor offendero.

Hymettus of Attica and the Isthmus of Ephyra and Taenarum of Sparta, fortunate tracts, forever enshrined in happier books, are my ancient lineage; there I earned the Attic tongue with the first wages of my boyhood. Soon, as a newcomer in the Latin city, I undertook and polished the native speech of the Quirites by arduous toil, with no master preceding me. Behold, I beg pardon in advance, if I, a speaker raw in exotic and forensic speech, shall offend.

Iam haec equidem ipsa vocis immutatio desultoriae scientiae stilo quem accessimus respondet. Fabulam Graecanicam incipimus. Lector intende: laetaberis.

Now this very alteration of voice answers to the style of desultory learning which we have adopted. We begin a Greek-style fable. Reader, attend: you will rejoice.

[2] Thessaliam — nam et illic originis maternae nostrae fundamenta a Plutarcho illo inclito ac mox Sexto philosopho nepote eius prodita gloriam nobis faciunt — eam Thessaliam ex negotio petebam. Postquam ardua montium ac lubrica vallium et roscida cespitum et glebosa camporum <emenus> emersi, in equo indigena peralbo vehens iam eo quoque admodum fesso, ut ipse etiam fatigationem sedentariam incessus vegetatione discuterem in pedes desilio, equi sudorem <fronte detergeo>, frontem curiose exfrico, auris remulceo, frenos detraho, in gradum lenem sensim proveho, quoad lassitudinis incommodum alvi solitum ac naturale praesidium eliquaret. Ac dum is ientaculum ambulatorium prata quae praeterit ore in latus detorto pronus adfectat, duobus comitum qui forte paululum processerant tertium me facio.

[2] To Thessaly — for there also the foundations of our mother's origin have been divulged to us by that illustrious Plutarch and soon by his grandson Sextus the philosopher, who lend us glory — I was seeking that Thessaly on business. After I had emerged from the steep mountains and the slippery valleys and the dewy turfs and the clayey fields <emenus>, riding a native, very-white horse, by now also quite fatigued, so that I myself, to dispel the weariness of sedentary motion by a vivifying walk, leapt down to my feet, I wipe off the horse’s sweat <fronte detergeo>, I carefully rub the forehead, I smooth the ears, I loosen the reins, I propel him slowly into a gentle pace, until the inconvenience of weariness should drain away the usual and natural safeguard of the belly. And while he, bent forward, with mouth turned toward the flank seeks a pedestrian breakfast of the meadows he passes by, I make myself the third of two companions who by chance had gone on a little ahead.

Ac dum ausculto quid sermonibus agitarent, alter exserto cachinno: "Parce" inquit "in verba ista haec tam absurda tamque immania mentiendo." Isto accepto sititor alioquin novitatis: "Immo vero" inquam "impertite sermonem non quidem curiosum sed qui velim scire vel cuncta vel certe plurima; simul iugi quod insurgimus aspritudinem fabularum lepida iucunditas levigabit."

And while I listen to what they were discussing, one with an outburst of laughter: "Spare," he says, "these words so absurd and so monstrous by lying." Receiving that, I, otherwise thirsty for novelty, said, "No indeed, impart a discourse — not merely a curious one, but one by which I would like to learn either everything or at least very many things; and at the same time the perpetual asperity of the tales we take up will be smoothed by a charming pleasantness."

[3] At ille qui coeperat: "Ne" inquit "istud mendacium tam verum est quam siqui velit dicere magico susurramine amnes agiles reverti, mare pigrum conligari, ventos inanimes exspirare, solem inhiberi, lunam despumari, stellas evelli, diem tolli, noctem teneri." Tunc ego in verba fidentior: "Heus tu" inquam "qui sermonem ieceras priorem, ne pigeat te vel taedeat reliqua pertexere", et ad alium: "Tu vero crassis auribus et obstinato corde respuis quae forsitan vere perhibeantur. Minus hercule calles pravissimis opinionibus ea putari mendacia quae vel auditu nova vel visu rudia vel certe supra captum cogitationis ardua videantur; quae si paulo accuratius exploraris, non modo compertu evidentia verum etiam factu facilia senties.

[3] But he who had begun: "No," he says, "that falsehood is as true as if one wished to say by a magical whisper that swift rivers turn back, the sluggish sea is gathered together, the empty winds expire, the sun is stayed, the moon is skimmed off, the stars are plucked away, day is taken away, night is held." Then I, more confident in my words: "Hey you," I said, "who cast forth the earlier speech, may it not vex or weary you to spin out the remaining matters," and to the other: "You indeed, with thick ears and an obstinate heart, reject things which perhaps are truly alleged. By Hercules, you are less skilled in the most perverse opinions to deem those things lies which, either by novel hearing or raw sight or certainly above the reach of thought, seem arduous; which, if you examine a little more accurately, you will feel not only to be evident in proof but also easy in fact.

[4] Ego denique vespera, dum polentae caseatae modico secus offulam grandiorem in convivas aemulus contruncare gestio, mollitie cibi glutinosi faucibus inhaerentis et meacula spiritus distinentis minimo minus interii. Et tamen Athenis proxime et ante Poecilen porticum isto gemino obtutu circulatorem aspexi equestrem spatham praeacutam mucrone infesto devorasse, ac mox eundem, invitamento exiguae stipis venatoriam lanceam, qua parte minatur exitium, in ima viscera condidisse. Et ecce pone lanceae ferrum, qua bacillum inversi teli ad occipitium per ingluviem subit, puer in mollitiem decorus insurgit inque flexibus tortuosis enervam et exossam saltationem explicat cum omnium qui aderamus admiratione: diceres dei medici baculo, quod ramis semiamputatis nodosum gerit, serpentem generosum lubricis amplexibus inhaerere.

[4] I, at evening, while, eager like a rival for guests to slice off a somewhat larger mouthful of cheesy polenta beside me, by the softness of the glutinous food sticking to my jaws and by the slight faults of spirit distending me, almost perished. And yet, in Athens, close by and before the Poecile portico, with that twin gaze I beheld a street‑performer swallow an equestrian sword, its point threatening the throat, and soon the same man, at the bidding of a small stipend, thrust a hunting‑spear — by the part of which destruction is threatened — down into his deepest entrails. And lo, after he sets down the spear’s iron, whereby the shaft of the inverted missile passes under the occiput through the gullet, the handsome boy rises into softness and unrolls in tortuous bends a sinewless and boneless dance to the admiration of all of us present: you would have said the staff of the healing god, which bears knots from half‑lopped branches, clinging to a noble serpent with slippery coils.

Sed iam cedo tu sodes, qui coeperas, fabulam remetire. Ego tibi solus haec pro isto credam, et quod ingressui primum fuerit stabulum prandio participabo. Haec tibi merces posita est."

But now yield, you sodes, who began to retell the tale. I alone will credit these things for you in place of that one, and I will share for a meal the stable that was first at the entrance. This is the reward set aside for you."

[5] At ille: "Istud quidem quod polliceris aequi bonique facio, verum quod inchoaveram porro exordiar. Sed tibi prius deierabo solem istum omnividentem deum me vera comperta memorare, nec vos ulterius dubitabitis si Thessaliae proximam civitatem perveneritis, quod ibidem passim per ora populi sermo iactetur quae palam gesta sunt. Sed ut prius noritis cuiatis sim, qui sim: <Aristomenes sum>, Aegiensis; audite et quo quaestu me teneam: melle vel caseo et huiusce modi cauponarum mercibus per Thessaliam Aetoliam Boeotiam ultro citro discurrens.

[5] But he: "That indeed which you promise I will make of equal and good account, but as for what I had begun I will further begin an outset. Yet first I will swear to you by that all-seeing sun, by the god, to recount what I have truly ascertained, nor will you further doubt if you come to the nearest city of Thessaly, since there the talk of the people is cast everywhere about what has been openly done. But so that you may first know to whom I am, who I am: <Aristomenes sum>, of Aegium; hear also by what trade I am held: running to and fro through Thessaly, Aetolia, Boeotia with the wares of inns of this sort—honey or cheese—and the like."

Comperto itaque Hypatae, quae civitas cunctae Thessaliae antepollet, caseum recens et sciti saporis admodum commodo pretio distrahi, festinus adcucurri id omne praestinaturus. Sed ut fieri adsolet, sinistro pede profectum me spes compendii frustrata est: omne enim pridie Lupus negotiator magnarius coemerat. Ergo igitur inefficaci celeritate fatigatus commodum vespera oriente ad balneas processeram.

Having learned, then, at Hypata — the city that surpasses all Thessaly — that fresh cheese of very noteworthy flavor was being sold at a commodious price, I hastened up to fetch all that would furnish me. But, as often happens, having set out on the wrong foot, my hope of gain was frustrated: for the day before Lupus, a great merchant, had bought up everything. Therefore, worn out by ineffectual haste, I had gone toward the baths as evening was rising.

[6] Ecce Socraten contubernalem meum conspicio. Humi sedebat scissili palliastro semiamictus, paene alius lurore ad miseram maciem deformatus, qualia solent fortunae decermina stipes in triviis erogare. Hunc talem, quamquam necessarium et summe cognitum, tamen dubia mente propius accessi.

[6] Behold, I perceive Socraten, my contubernal. He was seated on the ground, half-clad in a tattered palliasse, almost by pallor transformed to miserable leanness, such as the apportionments of Fortune are wont to dole out as a stump at the crossroads. Such a one, although necessary and most well-known to me, nevertheless I approached more closely with a doubtful mind.

"Hem," inquam "mi Socrates, quid istud? Quae facies? Quod flagitium?

"Hem," I said, "my Socrates, what is this? What visage? What flagitious outrage?"

At vero domi tuae iam defletus et conclamatus es, liberis tuis tutores iuridici provincialis decreto dati, uxor persolutis feralibus officiis luctu et maerore diuturno deformata, diffletis paene ad extremam captivitatem oculis suis, domus infortunium novarum nuptiarum gaudiis a suis sibi parentibus hilarare compellitur. At tu hic larvale simulacrum cum summo dedecore nostro viseris." "Aristomene", inquit "ne tu fortunarum lubricas ambages et instabiles incursiones et reciprocas vicissitudines ignoras", et cum dicto sutili centunculo faciem suam iam dudum punicantem prae pudore obtexit ita ut ab umbilico pube tenus cetera corporis renudaret. Nec denique perpessus ego tam miserum aerumnae spectaculum iniecta manu ut adsurgat enitor.

But truly, at your house you are already bewailed and called out over, legal guardians having been given to your children by provincial decree, your wife—funeral duties discharged—marred by prolonged mourning and sorrow, her eyes almost wept away to extreme captivity; the household is forced by her own kin to brighten its misfortune with the joys of new weddings. "And you here appear to us as a larval simulacrum, with the greatest indecorum." "Aristomene," he said, "do not be ignorant of the slippery windings of fortunes and their unstable incursions and reciprocal vicissitudes," and with the said patched little cloak he covered his face, long already darkening from shame, so that he bared the rest of his body from the navel down to the pubes. And finally, unable to endure such a wretched spectacle of distress, I laid my hand on him and rose, striving.

[7] At ille, ut erat, capite velato: "Sine, sine" inquit "fruatur diutius tropaeo Fortuna quod fixit ipsa." Effeci sequatur, et simul unam e duabus laciniis meis exuo eumque propere vestio dicam an contego et ilico lavacro trado. Quod unctui, quod tersui, ipse praeministro, sordium enormem eluviem operose effrico; probe curato ad hospitium lassus ipse fatigatum aegerrime sustinens perduco, lectulo refoveo, cibo satio, poculo mitigo, fabulis permulceo. Iam adlubentia proclivis est sermonis et ioci et scitum etiam cavillum, iam dicacitas timida, cum ille imo de pectore cruciabilem suspiritum ducens dextra saevientem frontem replaudens: "Me miserum" infit "qui dum voluptatem gladiatorii spectaculi satis famigerabilis consector in has aerumnas incidi.

[7] But he, as he was, with his head veiled: "Sine, sine," he said, "let Fortune enjoy longer the trophy which she herself has fixed." I caused him to follow, and at the same time I strip off one of my two garments and quickly clothe him — shall I say cover him? — and immediately deliver him to the bath. What I anointed, what I wiped, I myself, performing ministrations, diligently scrub away a vast effluvium of filth; everything carefully arranged, I conduct him, himself weary and exceedingly worn out, to the lodging, restore him to bed, sate him with food, soften him with a cup, soothe him with stories. Now the current is prone to conversation and jest and even to clever raillery, now biting wit timid, when he, drawing a painful sigh from the depths of his breast, smites again with his right hand his raging brow: "Woe is me," he utters, "who, while pursuing the pleasure of the gladiatorial spectacle, fairly notorious, have fallen into these miseries.

Nam, ut scis optime, secundum quaestum Macedoniam profectus, dum mense decimo ibidem attentus nummatior revortor, modico prius quam Larissam accederem, per transitum spectaculum obiturus in quadam avia et lacunosa convalli a vastissimis latronibus obsessus atque omnibus privatus tandem evado, et utpote ultime adfectus ad quandam cauponam Meroen, anum sed admodum scitulam, devorto, eique causas et peregrinationis diuturnae et domuitionis anxiae et spoliationis [diuturnae et dum] miserae refero; quae me nimis quam humane tractare adorta cenae gratae atque gratuitae ac mox urigine percita cubili suo adplicat. Et statim miser, ut cum illa adquievi, ab unico congressu annosam ac pestilentem con<suetudinem> contraho et ipsas etiam lacinias quas boni latrones contegendo mihi concesserant in eam contuli, operulas etiam quas adhuc vegetus saccariam faciens merebam, quoad me ad istam faciem quam paulo ante vidisti bona uxor et mala fortuna perduxit."

For, as you know best, having set out to Macedonia for secondary gain, while there in the tenth month I returned more moneyed, a little before I was to approach Larissa, I was about to pass through a spectacle at a certain pathless and pondy valley, beset by very vast brigands and deprived of everything, at last I escaped; and, being finally affected, I turned aside to a certain innkeeperess Meroe, an old woman but very crafty, and I relate to her the causes of my long journey and my anxious lodging and my [long and while] miserable plundering; who, taking up my case with more humanity than was meet, applies me to her welcomed and gratis supper and soon, stirred by lust, presses me to her bed. And immediately wretched, as soon as I rested with her, from that single encounter I contract an aged and pestilent habit con, and I even put those very rags which good brigands had granted me in protecting me upon her, and also the little services which I, still vigorous, earned by making a sugar‑bag, until good wife and ill fortune led me to that condition which you a little before saw.

[8] "Pol quidem tu dignus" inquam "es extrema sustinere, si quid est tamen novissimo extremius, qui voluptatem Veneriam et scortum scorteum Lari et liberis praetulisti." At ille digitum a pollice proximum ori suo admovens et in stuporem attonitus "Tace, tace" inquit et circumspiciens tutamenta sermonis: "Parce" inquit "in feminam divinam, nequam tibi lingua intemperante noxam contrahas." "Ain tandem?" inquam. "Potens illa et regina caupona quid mulieris est?" "Saga" inquit "et divina, potens caelum deponere, terram suspendere, fontes durare, montes diluere, manes sublimare, deos infimare, sidera exstinguere, Tartarum ipsum inluminare." "Oro te" inquam "aulaeum tragicum dimoveto et siparium scaenicum complicato et cedo verbis communibus." "Vis" inquit "unum vel alterum, immo plurima eius audire facta? Nam ut se ament afflictim non modo incolae verum etiam Indi vel Aethiopes utrique vel ipsi Anticthones, folia sunt artis et nugae merae.

[8] "By Pollux, truly you are worthy," I say, "to endure the utmost, if there be yet anything more extreme than the last, who preferred Venerian pleasure and a whore — a whore of the Lar and for the children." But he, pressing the finger next to his thumb to his mouth and struck into stupefaction, "Be silent, be silent," he says, and looking round for safeguards of speech: "Spare," he says, "your tongue in regard to a divine woman; with your intemperate tongue do not bring harm upon yourself." "Really?" I say. "That potent one and the inn‑queen — what sort of woman is she?" "A sage," he says, "and divine, able to lay down the sky, to suspend the earth, to harden springs, to dissolve mountains, to exalt the shades, to abase the gods, to extinguish the stars, to illumine even Tartarus itself." "I beg you," I say, "remove the tragic veil and the folded stage curtain and treat me in common words." "Do you want," he says, "to hear one or another, nay many of her deeds? For that she is loved madly not only by the inhabitants but also by the Indians and the Ethiopians alike, and even the Antichthones themselves — these are the leaves of her art and mere trifles."

Sed quod in conspectu plurium perpetravit, audi.

But what she perpetrated in the sight of many, hear.

[9] Amatorem suum, quod in aliam temerasset, unico verbo mutavit in feram castorem, quod ea bestia captivitatis metuens ab insequentibus se praecisione genitalium liberat, ut illi quoque simile [quod venerem habuit in aliam] proveniret. Cauponem quoque vicinum atque ob id aemulum deformavit in ranam, et nunc senex ille dolium innatans vini sui adventores pristinos in faece submissus officiosis roncis raucus appellat. Alium de foro, quod adversus eam locutus esset, in arietem deformavit, et nunc aries ille causas agit.

[9] She changed her lover, because he had been rash toward another, with a single word into a wild castor (beaver), since that beast, fearing captivity, frees itself from pursuers by cutting off its genitals, so that a like fate [what lust he had for another] might befall him as well. She also transformed the neighboring innkeeper, and on that account his rival, into a frog, and now that old man, afloat on his wine-vat, calls his former guests—sunk in the lees—hoarse with officious croaks. She turned another man from the forum, because he had spoken against her, into a ram, and now that ram pleads causes (conducts lawsuits).

Eadem amatoris sui uxorem, quod in eam dicacule probrum dixerat iam in sarcina praegnationis obsaepto utero et repigrato fetu perpetua praegnatione damnavit, et ut cuncti numerant, iam octo annorum onere misella illa velut elephantum paritura distenditur.

The same man's wife — because she had spoken a sharp reproach against that other woman — he changed into a perpetual pregnancy, her womb stopped up in the bundle of gestation and the fetus turned back; and, as all recount, now for 8 years that poor woman, burdened with years, is distended as if about to bear an elephant.

[10] Quae cum subinde ac multi nocerentur, publicitus indignatio percrebuit statutumque ut in eam die altera severissime saxorum iaculationibus vindicaretur. Quod consilium virtutibus cantionum antevortit et ut illa Medea unius dieculae a Creone impetratis indutiis totam eius domum filiamque cum ipso sene flammis coronalibus deusserat, sic haec devotionibus sepulchralibus in scrobem procuratis, ut mihi temulenta narravit proxime, cunctos in suis sibi domibus tacita numinum violentia clausit, ut toto biduo non claustra perfringi, non fores evelli, non denique parietes ipsi quiverint perforari, quoad mutua hortatione consone clamitarent quam sanctissime deierantes sese neque ei manus admolituros, et si quis aliud cogitarit salutare laturos subsidium. Et sic illa propitiata totam civitatem absolvit.

[10] When she meanwhile continued to do harm and many were being injured, public indignation spread and it was decreed that on the next day she should be most severely punished by the hurling of stones. But that plan was foiled by the virtues of chants, and just as that Medea, by a one‑day truce obtained from Creon, had devoted his whole house and his daughter with the old man himself to coronal flames, so this woman, having procured sepulchral devotions into a pit, as she lately drunkenly recounted to me, shut everyone up in their own houses by a silent violence of the gods, so that for the whole two days neither locks were broken, nor doors torn away, nor indeed were the walls themselves seen to be pierced, until with mutual exhortation they cried aloud together, most sacredly swearing that they would not lay hands upon her, and that if anyone should think otherwise they would bring salutary aid. And thus, propitiated, she absolved the whole city.

At vero coetus illius auctorem nocte intempesta cum tota domo, id est parietibus et ipso solo et omni fundamento, ut erat, clausa ad centesimum lapidem in aliam civitatem summo vertice montis exasperati sitam et ob id ad aquas sterilem transtulit. Et quoniam densa inhabitantium aedificia locum novo hospiti non dabant, ante portam proiecta domo discessit."

But indeed they transported the author of that assembly in the unseasonable night, shut up with the whole house — that is, with its walls and the very ground and every foundation, as it was — to the hundredth stone into another city, set upon the highest summit of an exasperated mountain, and on that account transferred him barren to the waters. And because the dense buildings of the inhabitants did not give space to the new guest, having cast the house before the gate he departed.

[11] "Mira" inquam "nec minus saeva, mi Socrates, memoras. Denique mihi quoque non parvam incussisti sollicitudinem, immo vero formidinem, iniecto non scrupulo sed lancea, ne quo numinis ministerio similiter usa sermones istos nostros anus illa cognoscat. Itaque maturius quieti nos reponamus et somno levata lassitudine noctis antelucio aufugiamus istinc quam pote longissime." Haec adhuc me suadente insolita vinolentia ac diuturna fatigatione pertentatus bonus Socrates iam sopitus stertebat altius.

[11] "You recount marvels," I said, "and no less savage ones, my Socrates. At last you have put into me not a small solicitude, nay truly a dread, having lodged not a scruple but a lance, lest by the ministry of some divinity that old woman, having likewise employed such means, recognize these our words. Therefore let us more quickly restore ourselves to rest and, our weariness relieved by sleep, flee from here before dawn as far as possible." While I still advising these things, worn through by unusual wine-violence and long fatigue, good Socrates, already asleep, was snoring more deeply.

Ego vero adducta fore pessulisque firmatis grabatulo etiam pone cardinem supposito et probe adgesto super eum me recipio. Ac primum prae metu aliquantisper vigilo, dein circa tertiam ferme vigiliam paululum coniveo. Commodum quieveram, et repente impulsu maiore quam ut latrones crederes ianuae reserantur immo vero fractis et evolsis funditus cardinibus prosternuntur.

But I, the bolt drawn and the latches fastened, even having placed the pallet behind the hinge and snugly pressed up against it, take myself upon it. And at first through fear I keep watch for a while, then about the third watch I half-close my eyes. I had rested comfortably, when suddenly with a heavier impulse than you would credit from thieves the doors are thrown open—nay, with their hinges broken and ripped out from the very foundations they are cast down.

Grabatus alioquin breviculus et uno pede mutilus ac putris impetus tanti violentia prosternitur, me quoque evolutum atque excussum humi recidens in inversum cooperit ac tegit.

The little bed, otherwise rather short and maimed in one leg and rotten, by the violence of so great an assault is thrown down; it likewise, having been cast off and shaken, falls back to the ground upside down and covers and hides me.

[12] Tunc ego sensi naturalitus quosdam affectus in contrarium provenire. Nam ut lacrimae saepicule de gaudio prodeunt, ita et in illo nimio pavore risum nequivi continere de Aristomene testudo factus. Ac dum in fimum deiectus obliquo aspectu quid rei sit grabatuli sollertia munitus opperior, video mulieres duas altioris aetatis; lucernam lucidam gerebat una, spongiam et nudum gladium altera.

[12] Then I perceived, naturally, certain affections springing up the other way. For just as tears often issue from joy, so in that excessive dread I could not contain a laugh, Aristomene having made me like a testudo (a tortoise). And while, thrown down into dung and, by the oblique glance, awaiting what the matter was, protected by the sollertia of the little bed, I see two women of rather advanced age; one was carrying a bright lamp, the other a sponge and a naked sword.

Hoc habitu Socratem bene quietum circumstetere. Infit illa cum gladio: "Hic est, soror Panthia, carus Endymion, hic Catamitus meus, qui diebus ac noctibus inlusit aetatulam meam, hic qui meis amoribus subterhabitis non solum me diffamat probris verum etiam fugam instruit. At ego scilicet Ulixi astu deserta vice Calypsonis aeternam solitudinem flebo." Et porrecta dextera meque Panthiae suae demonstrato: "At hic bonus" inquit "consiliator Aristomenes, qui fugae huius auctor fuit et nunc morti proximus iam humi prostratus grabattulo subcubans iacet et haec omnia conspicit, impune se laturum meas contumelias putat.

In this dress they well surrounded Socrates at rest. She says with the sword: "This is he, sister Panthia, dear Endymion, this my catamite, he who by days and nights mocked my youthful age, he who, undermining my loves, not only besmirches me with reproaches but even schemes this flight. But I, by the wile of Ulysses, abandoned in the place of Calypso, shall of course bewail eternal solitude." And with her right hand outstretched she pointed to me and to her Panthia: "And this good" she says "is the counsellor Aristomenes, who was the author of this flight and now near death, already thrown down on the ground, lies prostrate beneath the little couch and beholds all these things, he imagines he will bear my insults with impunity.

Faxo eum sero, immo statim, immo vero iam nunc, ut et praecedentis dicacitatis et instantis curiositatis paeniteat."

I will make him repent of it — late, nay at once, nay indeed even now — so that he may be sorry for both his preceding dicacity and his urgent curiosity."

[13] Haec ego ut accepi, sudore frigido miser perfluo, tremore viscera quatior, ut grabattulus etiam succussu meo inquietus super dorsum meum palpitando saltaret. At bona Panthia: "Quin igitur", inquit "soror, hunc primum bacchatim discerpimus vel membris eius destinatis virilia desecamus?" Ad haec Meroe - sic enim reapse nomen eius tunc fabulis Socratis convenire sentiebam -: "Immo" ait "supersit hic saltem qui miselli huius corpus parvo contumulet humo," et capite Socratis in alterum dimoto latus per iugulum sinistrum capulo tenus gladium totum ei demergit et sanguinis eruptionem utriculo admoto excipit diligenter, ut nulla stilla compareret usquam. Haec ego meis oculis aspexi.

[13] When I received these things, with cold sweat flowing I miserable, my entrails shaken with trembling, so that even the little pallet, restless from my shaking, would have leapt and throbbed upon my back. But good Panthia: "Why then," she says, "sister, shall we first rend this bacchant limb by limb or cut off his virilia with the appointed hands?" To this Meroe — for indeed I then felt that her true name agreed with Socrates' tales — said: "Nay rather let at least this one remain who may bury the little body of this poor wretch with a little earth," and having turned Socrates' head to the other side she plunged the sword all the way to the hilt through his left throat and received the gush of blood carefully with a small bladder applied, so that not a drop appeared anywhere. These things I saw with my own eyes.

Nam etiam, ne quid demutaret, credo, a victimae religione, immissa dextera per vulnus illud ad viscera penitus cor miseri contubernalis mei Meroe bona scrutata protulit, cum ille impetu teli praesecata gula vocem immo stridorem incertum per vulnus effunderet et spiritum rebulliret. Quod vulnus, qua maxime patebat, spongia offulciens Panthia: "Heus tu" inquit "spongia, cave in mari nata per fluvium transeas." His editis abeunt <et una> remoto grabattulo varicus super faciem meam residentes vesicam exonerant, quoad me urinae spurcissimae madore perluerent.

For even, lest she omit anything, I believe, from the sacrificial religion, with her right hand thrust through that wound to the entrails she probed and produced the goods, having examined the heart of my unfortunate tent‑mate Meroe, while he, his throat cut by the force of the weapon, poured forth a voice—nay, an uncertain shriek—through the wound and his breath boiled up. That wound, insofar as it lay most open, Panthia, blotting it with a sponge, said: "Hey you sponge, beware, born in the sea, that you do not cross the river." With these words spoken they depart <et una> the little bed having been removed; a varicose fellow, sitting over my face, relieved the bladder, until they had washed me with the most filthy moisture of urine.

[14] Commodum limen evaserant, et fores ad pristinum statum integrae resurgunt: cardines ad foramina residunt, <ad> postes [ad] repagula redeunt, ad claustra pessuli recurrunt. At ego, ut eram, etiam nunc humi proiectus inanimis nudus et frigidus et lotio perlutus, quasi recens utero matris editus, immo vero semimortuus, verum etiam ipse mihi supervivens et postumus vel certe destinatae iam cruci candidatus : "Quid" inquam "me fiet, ubi iste iugulatus mane paruerit? Cui videbor veri similia dicere proferens vera?

[14] They had easily passed the threshold, and the doors rise whole to their former state: hinges return to their apertures, <ad> posts [ad] to their bolts, to the fastenings the bars recur. But I, as I was, still thrown on the ground lifeless, naked and cold and bathed in washing, as if newly brought forth from my mother’s womb, nay rather half-dead, indeed myself surviving and posthumous or at least already marked by destiny for the cross: "What," I say, "will become of me when that throat‑cut man has obeyed in the morning? To whom will I seem to be speaking things like the true while I utter the true?"

"Proclamares saltem suppetiatum, si resistere vir tantus mulieri nequibas. Sub oculis tuis homo iugulatur, et siles? Cur autem te simile latrocinium non peremit?

"You would at least have cried out for aid, if you could not withstand so mighty a man as a woman. A man is being slaughtered before your eyes, and you are silent? Why then did not a like outrage destroy you?"

Cur saeva crudelitas vel propter indicium sceleris arbitro pepercit? Ergo, quoniam evasisti mortem, nunc illo redi." Haec identidem mecum replicabam, et nox ibat in diem. Optimum itaque factu visum est anteluculo furtim evadere et viam licet trepido vestigio capessere.

Why did savage cruelty, or for the sake of an indicium of crime, spare the arbiter? Therefore, since you have escaped death, now return to that man." These things I kept answering to myself again and again, and night was passing into day. It therefore seemed best to break away secretly before first light and to take the road, albeit with a trembling footstep.

Sumo sarcinulam meam, subdita clavi pessulos reduco; at illae probae et fideles ianuae, quae sua sponte reseratae nocte fuerant, vix tandem et aegerrime tunc clavis suae crebra immissione patefiunt.

I take up my little pack, withdraw the small bolts shoved beneath the key; but those tried and faithful doors, which had of their own accord been unfastened in the night, then scarcely and with great difficulty at last stand open by the frequent thrusting of my key.

[15] Et "Heus tu, ubi es?" inquam; "valvas stabuli absolve, antelucio volo ire." Ianitor pone stabuli ostium humi cubitans etiam nunc semisomnus: "Quid? Tu" inquit "ignoras latronibus infestari vias, qui hoc noctis iter incipis? Nam etsi tu alicuius facinoris tibi conscius scilicet mori cupis, nos cucurbitae caput non habemus ut pro te moriamur." "Non longe" inquam "lux abest.

[15] And "Hey you, where are you?" I say; "unfasten the stable-doors, I mean to go before dawn." The doorkeeper, lying on the ground beside the stable-entrance, still half-asleep: "What? You," he says, "do you not know that the roads are infested with brigands who set out on this night's journey? For even if you yourself are conscious of some crime and therefore wish to die, we are not gourds with a head to die for you." "The light is not far off," I say.

Et praeterea quid viatori de summa pauperie latrones auferre possunt? An ignoras, inepte, nudum nec a decem palaestritis despoliari posse?" Ad haec ille marcidus et semisopitus in alterum latus revolutus: "Unde autem" inquit "scio an convectore illo tuo, cum quo sero devorteras, iugulato fugae mandes praesidium?" Illud horae memini me terra dehiscente ima Tartara inque his canem Cerberum prorsus esurientem mei prospexisse. Ac recordabar profecto bonam Meroen non misericordia iugulo meo pepercisse, sed saevitia cruci me reservasse.

And besides, what can robbers take from a traveller in the depths of poverty? Do you not know, fool, that a naked man cannot be despoiled even by ten palaestrites?" To this the man, lank and half-asleep, having rolled onto his other side: "But how," he says, "do I know whether that conductor of yours, with whom you turned away late, will not, his throat cut, leave the defence of flight to you?" At that hour I remember, with the earth yawning beneath me, to have seen the lowest Tartarus and therein the dog Cerberus utterly ravenous at me. And I clearly recalled that good Meroe had spared not my throat by mercy, but had reserved me for the cruelty of the torture.

[16] In cubiculum itaque reversus de genere tumultuario mortis mecum deliberabam. Sed cum nullum alium telum mortiferum Fortuna quam solum mihi grabattulum subministraret, "Iam iam grabattule" inquam "animo meo carissime, qui mecum tot aerumnas exantlasti conscius et arbiter quae nocte gesta sunt, quem solum in meo reatu testem innocentiae citare possum, tu mihi ad inferos festinanti sumministra telum salutare," et cum dicto restim, qua erat intextus, adgredior expedire ac tigillo, quod fenestrae subditum altrinsecus prominebat, iniecta atque obdita parte funiculi et altera firmiter in nodum coacta ascenso grabattulo ad exitium sublimatus et immisso capite laqueum induo. Sed dum pede altero fulcimentum quo sustinebar repello, ut ponderis deductu restis ad ingluviem adstricta spiritus officia discluderet, repente putris alioquin et vetus funis dirumpitur, atque ego de alto recidens Socraten - nam iuxta me iacebat - superruo cumque eo in terram devolvor.

[16] Having therefore returned to the little chamber, I debated with myself about the kind of tumultuous death. But since Fortune supplied no other deadly weapon than only my little bed, "Now now, grabattule," I said, "my dearest comfort, who alone hast shared with me so many adversities and art witness and arbiter of what has been done by night, whom alone in my culpability I can summon as a witness of my innocence, furnish me, hastening to the underworld, with a salutary weapon," and with the word I set about to unloose the strap in which it was laced, and having thrown one end of the cord over the loft-beam that jutted in toward the inside beneath the window and the other end firmly drawn into a knot, I, mounting the bedstead, exalted toward death and, having put my head through, I put on the noose. But while with one foot I thrust aside the support by which I was sustained, so that by the descent of the weight the bands, tightened about my throat, might unclose the offices of the spirit, suddenly the rope, rotten and old, was torn asunder, and I, falling from the height, topple over Socrates — for he lay beside me — and with him roll down to the ground.

[17] Et ecce in ipso momento ianitor introrumpit exserte clamitans: "Ubi es tu qui alta nocte festinabas et nunc stertis involutus?" Ad haec nescio an casu nostro an illius absono clamore experrectus Socrates exsurgit prior et "Non" inquit "inmerito stabularios hos omnes hospites detestantur. Nam iste curiosus dum inportune irrumpit — credo studio rapiendi aliquid — clamore vasto marcidum alioquin me altissimo somno excussit." Emergo laetus atque alacer insperato gaudio perfusus et: "Ecce, ianitor fidelissime, comes [et pater meus] et frater meus, quem nocte ebrius occisum a me calumniabaris", et cum dicto Socraten deosculabar amplexus. At ille, odore alioquin spurcissimi humoris percussus quo me Lamiae illae infecerant, vehementer aspernatur: "Apage te" inquit "fetorem extremae latrinae", et causas coepit huius odoris comiter inquirere.

[17] And behold, at that very moment the porter bursts in loudly crying out: "Where are you, you who were hastening in the deep night and now lie rolled in snoring?" To this, whether by our chance or roused by that harsh cry, Socrates sprang up first and said, "Not without cause all these hostlers detest the guests. For that inquisitive fellow, while he burst in inopportunely — I suppose in eagerness to seize something — by his mighty clamor awoke me, otherwise sunk in the deepest sleep." I rise, joyful and brisk, flooded with unexpected gladness and: "See, most faithful porter, my companion [and my father] and my brother, whom by night, drunk, you accused me of having killed," and with the words I kissed and embraced Socrates. But he, struck by the foul odor of the filthy moisture with which those Lamiae had infected me, very bitterly spurns me: "Away with you," he says, "the stench of the outer privy," and begins politely to inquire into the causes of this smell.

At ego miser adficto ex tempore absurdo ioco in alium sermonem intentionem eius denuo derivo et iniecta dextra: "Quin imus" inquam "et itineris matutini gratiam capimus?" Sumo sarcinulam et pretio mansionis stabulario persoluto capessimus viam.

But I, wretched, with an absurd jest struck up at the moment, again divert his intention into another conversation and, laying on my right hand, said, "Why not go, and take the favor of the morning's journey?" I take up the little bundle, and the price of the lodging having been paid to the hostler, we set out on the road.

[18] Aliquantum processeramus, et iam iubaris exortu cuncta conlustrantur. Et ego curiose sedulo arbitrabar iugulum comitis, qua parte gladium delapsum videram, et mecum: "Vesane," aio "qui poculis et vino sepultus extrema somniasti. Ecce Socrates integer sanus incolumis.

[18] We had gone on somewhat, and now at dawn all things were scanned. And I, curiously and diligently, was examining the throat of my companion, on what part I had seen the sword slip, and to myself: "Madman," I say, "you who, buried in cups and wine, dreamed your end. Behold Socrates whole, sound, unharmed.

Ubi vulnus? Spongia <ubi>? Ubi postremo cicatrix tam alta, tam recens?" Et ad illum: "Non" inquam "immerito medici fidi cibo et crapula distentos saeva et gravia somniare autumant: mihi denique, quod poculis vesperi minus temperavi, nox acerba diras et truces imagines obtulit, ut adhuc me credam cruore humano aspersum atque impiatum." Ad haec ille subridens: "At tu" inquit "non sanguine sed lotio perfusus es. Verum tamen et ipse per somnium iugulari visus sum mihi, nam et iugulum istum dolui et cor ipsum mihi avelli putavi, et nunc etiam spiritu deficior et genua quatior et gradu titubo et aliquid cibatus refovendo spiritu desidero." "En" inquam "paratum tibi adest ientaculum", et cum dicto manticam meam humero exuo, caseum cum pane propere ei porrigo, et "Iuxta platanum istam residamus" aio.

"Where is the wound? The sponge <ubi>? Where, finally, the scar so deep, so recent?" And to him: "Not," I say, "without cause do they, bloated by the faithful food of the physician and by crapula, deem that they dream cruel and heavy things: for me, finally, because in the evening I drank with less temperance from the cups, the bitter night presented dire and savage phantasms, so that even now I think myself sprinkled and profaned with human blood." To this he, smiling: "But you," he says, "are soaked not in blood but in a washing. Yet indeed I too seemed to be throat-cut in a dream, for I felt pain in that throat and thought the very heart had been torn away from me, and even now I fail in spirit and my knees quake and I stagger in my step and I long for something to be fed, reviving my breath." "Behold," I say, "breakfast is ready for you," and with the word I fling off my pouch from my shoulder, quickly hand him cheese with bread, and "Let us sit beside that platanus," I say.

[19] Quo facto et ipse aliquid indidem sumo eumque avide essitantem aspiciens aliquanto intentiore macie atque pallore buxeo deficientem video. Sic denique eum vitalis color turbaverat ut mihi prae metu, nocturnas etiam Furias illas imaginanti, frustulum panis quod primum sumpseram quamvis admodum modicum mediis faucibus inhaereret ac neque deorsum demeare neque sursum remeare posset. Nam et brevitas ipsa commeantium metum mihi cumulabat.

[19] When this was done I too took something therefrom, and seeing him ravenous and gasping I perceived him failing with a somewhat keener emaciation and a boxwood-like pallor. Thus indeed the vital colour had so disordered him that, before me through fear and imagining even those nocturnal Furies, the scrap of bread which I had first taken, although very small, stuck in the middle of my throat and could neither go down nor come back up. For even the very brevity of comings-and-goings heaped fear upon me.

Quis enim de duobus comitum alterum sine alterius noxa peremptum crederet? Verum ille, ut satis detruncaverat cibum, sitire inpatienter coeperat; nam et optimi casei bonam partem avide devoraverat, et haud ita longe radices platani lenis fluvius in speciem placidae paludis ignavus ibat argento vel vitro aemulus in colorem. "En" inquam "explere latice fontis lacteo." Adsurgit et oppertus paululum pleniorem ripae marginem complicitus in genua adpronat se avidus adfectans poculum.

For who would believe that of two companions one could be slain without the hurt of the other? But he, having sufficiently cut into the food, began to thirst impatiently; for he had greedily devoured a good portion of the finest cheese, and not far off the roots of the plane-tree the gentle river, taking on the aspect of a placid marsh, sluggishly ran, like silver or glass in color. "Behold," I say, "fill yourself with the milky liquid of the spring." He rises and, having waited until a little fuller, embracing the river's margin, falls forward on his knees and eagerly strives for the cup.

Necdum satis extremis labiis summum aquae rorem attigerat, et iugulo eius vulnus dehiscit in profundum patorem et illa spongia de eo repente devolvitur eamque parvus admodum comitatur cruor. Denique corpus exanimatum in flumen paene cernuat, nisi ego altero eius pede retento vix et aegre ad ripam superiorem adtraxi, ubi defletum pro tempore comitem misellum arenosa humo in amnis vicinia sempiterna contexi. Ipse trepidus et eximie metuens mihi per diversas et avias solitudines aufugi et quasi conscius mihi caedis humanae relicta patria et lare ultroneum exilium amplexus nunc Aetoliam novo contracto matrimonio colo."

Not yet had the uppermost dew of the water touched his utmost lips, when the wound in his throat gaped into a deep gulf and the sponge suddenly rolled off from it, and a very small blood accompanied it. At last the lifeless body would have nearly plunged into the river, had I not, holding back one of his feet, scarcely and with difficulty dragged him to the higher bank, where, after being wept over for the time, I wrapped the poor little companion in the sandy earth in the river’s perpetual neighborhood. He himself, trembling and exceedingly afraid, fled from me through diverse and pathless solitudes and, as if conscious of the human slaughter, having left homeland and hearth of his own accord and embraced exile, now inhabits Aetolia with a newly contracted marriage."

[20] Haec Aristomenes. At ille comes eius, qui statim initio obstinata incredulitate sermonem eius respuebat: "Nihil" inquit "hac fabula fabulosius, nihil isto mendacio absurdius", et ad me conversus: "Tu autem" inquit "vir ut habitus et habitudo demonstrat ornatus accedis huic fabulae?" "Ego vero" inquam "nihil impossibile arbitror, sed utcumque fata decreverint ita cuncta mortalibus provenire: nam et mihi et tibi et cunctis hominibus multa usu venire mira et paene infecta, quae tamen ignaro relata fidem perdant. Sed ego huic et credo hercules et gratas gratias memini, quod lepidae fabulae festivitate nos avocavit, asperam denique ac prolixam viam sine labore ac taedio evasi.

[20] This Aristomenes. But that companion of his, who at once at the outset with stubborn incredulity rejected his speech: "Nothing," he says, "more fabulous than this tale, nothing more absurd than that lie," and having turned to me: "And you," he says, "a man as your bearing and habit show ornamented, do you accede to this story?" "I indeed," I say, "judge nothing impossible, but that as the fates have decreed so all things come to mortals: for to me and to you and to all men many wonders and almost‑undone things have come in experience, which, however, when related by one ignorant lose credence. But to this I both give credence, by Hercules, and recall grateful thanks, because the pleasant tale with its festivity has diverted us, and at last I have escaped a harsh and long road without toil and tedium.

Quod beneficium etiam illum vectorem meum credo laetari, sine fatigatione sui me usque ad istam civitatis portam non dorso illius sed meis auribus pervecto."

"I believe that that beneficium even makes my vectorem glad, that, without the fatigation of himself, I was carried to this city's gate not on his dorsum but on my ears."

[21] Is finis nobis et sermonis et itineris communis fuit. Nam comites uterque ad villulam proximam laevorsum abierunt. Ego vero quod primum ingressui stabulum conspicatus sum accessi et de quadam anu caupona ilico percontor: "Estne" inquam "Hypata haec civitas?" Adnuit.

[21] This was the end for us both of our conversation and of the common journey. For each of the companions went off to the nearest little villa to the left. As for me, since I first espied a stable at the entrance I went up and immediately asked of a certain old woman, the innkeeper: "Is this city Hypata?" She nodded.

"Nostine Milonem quendam e primoribus?" Adrisit et: "Vere" inquit "primus istic perhibetur Milo, qui extra pomerium et urbem totam colit." "Remoto" inquam "ioco, parens optima, dic oro et cuiatis sit et quibus deversetur aedibus". "Videsne" inquit "extremas fenestras, quae foris urbem prospiciunt, et altrinsecus fores proxumum respicientes angiportum? Inibi iste Milo deversatur ampliter nummatus et longe opulentus verum extremae avaritiae et sordis infimae infamis homo, foenus denique copiosum sub arrabone auri et argenti crebriter exercens, exiguo Lare inclusus et aerugini semper intentus, cum uxorem etiam calamitatis suae comitem habeat. Neque praeter unicam pascit ancillulam et habitu mendicantis semper incedit."

"Do you know a certain Milo, one of the foremost?" He nodded and: "Truly," he said, "Milo is reckoned the foremost there, he who tills the land outside the pomerium and the whole city." "Jest removed," I said, "most excellent parent, I beg you tell me who he is and in which houses he lodges." "Do you see," he said, "the outermost windows that look out upon the city, and on the other side the doors facing the nearest alley? There Milo lodges, richly coin‑laden and far opulent, yet infamous for extreme avarice and the basest squalor, a man who continually practices abundant usury under an arrabon of gold and silver, shut up in a slender house and ever intent on petty gain, and who even has for a wife a companion of his calamity. Nor does he keep more than one single maid, and he always goes about in the garb of a mendicant."

[22] Ad haec ego risum subicio: "Benigne" inquam "et prospicue Demeas meus in me consuluit, qui peregrinaturum tali viro conciliavit, in cuius hospitio nec fumi nec nidoris nebulam vererer"; et cum dicto modico secus progressus ostium accedo et ianuam firmiter oppessulatam pulsare vocaliter incipio. Tandem adulescentula quaedam procedens: "Heus tu" inquit "qui tam fortiter fores verberasti, sub qua specie mutari cupis? An tu solus ignoras praeter aurum argentumque nullum nos pignus admittere?" "Meliora" inquam "ominare et potius responde an intra aedes erum tuum offenderim." "Plane," inquit "sed quae causa quaestionis huius?" "Litteras ei a Corinthio Demea scriptas ad eum reddo." "Dum annuntio," inquit "hic ibidem me opperimino", et cum dicto rursum foribus oppessulatis intro capessit.

[22] To this I put on a laugh: "Well," I say, "and considerately my Demeas has consulted for me, who arranged that I should travel to such a man, in whose hospitality I would fear neither smoke nor reek"; and with that brief saying having gone on a little, I approach the door and begin loudly to strike the firmly bolted door. At last a certain young woman coming forward: "Hey you," she says, "who have beaten the doors so stoutly, under what guise do you wish to be changed? Or are you alone ignorant that, besides gold and silver, we admit no pledge?" "Foretell better things," I say, "and rather answer whether I have met your master within the house." "Truly," she says, "but what is the cause of this question?" "I deliver to him letters written by Demeas of Corinth to him." "While I announce it," she says, "here I will wait right here," and with that having again bolted the doors she entered within.

Modico deinde regressa patefactis aedibus: "Rogat te" inquit. Intuli me eumque accumbentem exiguo admodum grabattulo et commodum cenare incipientem invenio. Assidebat pedes uxor et mensa vacua posita, cuius monstratu: "En" inquit "hospitium." "Bene" ego, et ilico ei litteras Demeae trado.

After a little while, the house having been opened she returned: "He asks for you," she said. I entered and found him reclining on a very small couch and about to begin to dine with scant comfort. His wife was sitting at his feet and an empty table had been set, of which, pointing, she said: "Behold, hospitality." "Good," I said, and at once handed him Demea's letters.

Quibus properiter lectis: "Amo" inquit "meum Demeam qui mihi tantum conciliavit hospitem".

When these things had been duly read: "I love," he said, "my Demea, who has so greatly procured a guest for me."

[23] Et cum dicto iubet uxorem decedere utque in eius locum adsistam iubet meque etiam nunc verecundia cunctantem adrepta lacinia detrahens: "Adside" inquit "istic. Nam prae metu latronum nulla sessibula ac ne sufficientem supellectilem parare nobis licet." Feci. Et sic: "Ego te" inquit "etiam de ista corporis speciosa habitudine deque hac virginali prorsus verecundia generosa stirpe proditum et recte conicerem.

[23] And with that he orders his wife to withdraw and that I take her place, and even now, my modesty hesitating, having seized the lacinia and drawing it off he says: "Sit there." For before the fear of robbers no seats and not even sufficient furniture is permitted for us to prepare." I did. And thus: "I would judge you," he says, "also from that comely bearing of body and from this virginal, plainly noble modesty sprung of a generous stock.

Sed et meus Demeas eadem litteris pronuntiat. Ergo brevitatem gurgustioli nostri ne spernas peto. Erit tibi adiacens [et] ecce illud cubiculum honestum receptaculum.

But my Demeas proclaims the same in his letters. Therefore I beg you not to scorn the meagerness of our little repast. There will be adjacent to you [and] behold that honest little cubiculum, a decent receptacle.

Fac libenter deverseris in nostro. Nam et maiorem domum dignatione tua feceris et tibi specimen gloriosum adrogaris, si contentus lare parvulo Thesei illius cognominis patris tui virtutes aemulaveris, qui non est aspernatus Hecales anus hospitium tenue", et vocata ancillula: "Photis" inquit "sarcinulas hospitis susceptas cum fide conde in illud cubiculum ac simul ex promptuario oleum unctui et lintea tersui et cetera hoc eidem usui profer ociter et hospitem meum produc ad proximas balneas; satis arduo itinere atque prolixo fatigatus est."

Make yourself gladly to lodge in our house. For you will both have made the greater house by your dignity and will set before yourself a glorious example, if, content with the little hearth, you emulate the virtues of that father of your cognomen, Theseus, who did not spurn the humble hospitality of the old woman Hecale," and, calling the maidservant, "Photis," he says, "stow away the guest's little bundles received in good faith in that chamber, and at the same time bring out from the storeroom oil for anointing and clean linens and other things for the same use quickly, and bring my guest to the nearest baths; he is wearied by a rather arduous and prolonged journey."

[24] His ego auditis mores atque parsimoniam ratiocinans Milonis volensque me artius ei conciliare: "Nihil" inquam "rerum istarum, quae itineris ubique nos comitantur, indigemus. Sed et balneas facile percontabimur. Plane, quod est mihi summe praecipuum, equo, qui me strenue pervexit, faenum atque ordeum acceptis istis nummulis tu, Photis, emito." His actis et rebus meis in illo cubiculo conditis pergens ipse ad balneas, ut prius aliquid nobis cibatui prospicerem, forum cupidinis peto, inque eo piscatum opiparem expositum video et percontato pretio, quod centum nummis indicaret, aspernatus viginti denariis praestinavi.

[24] Hearing these things, and considering Milo's habits and parsimony, and wishing to reconcile myself to him more closely: "We need nothing," I said, "of those things that accompany us everywhere on a journey. But we will easily inquire about the baths. And plainly, what is most important to me, buy hay and barley for the horse that carried me stoutly, with these small coins received — you, Photis, purchase them." With these things done and my affairs stored in that little chamber, I myself, going on to the baths, in order first to provide something for our sustenance, seek the market of desire; and there I see a lavishly displayed fish for sale and, having asked the price, which was stated to be one hundred coins, I refused and paid twenty denarii in advance.

Inde me commodum egredientem continatur Pythias condiscipulus apud Athenas Atticas meus, qui me post aliquantum multum temporis amanter agnitum invadit, amplexusque ac comiter deosculatus: "Mi Luci," ait "sat pol diu est quod intervisimus te, at hercules exinde cum a Clytio magistro digressi sumus. Quae autem tibi causa peregrinationis huius?" "Crastino die scies," inquam. "Sed quid istud?

Then, as I was conveniently departing, Pythias, my fellow-student at Athens in Attica, detained me — he who, having recognized me affectionately after rather a long time, fell upon me and, having embraced and courteously kissed me, said: "My Lucius," he said, "by Pollux it is long since we saw you, but, by Hercules, since then we have departed from Clytius the teacher. But what is the cause of this journey of yours?" "You will know on the morrow," I said. "But what is this?"

Voti gaudeo. Nam et lixas et virgas et habitum prorsus magistratui congruentem in te video." "Annonam curamus" ait "et aedilem gerimus et siquid obsonare cupis utique commodabimus." Abnuebam, quippe qui iam cenae affatim piscatum prospexeramus. Sed enim Pythias visa sportula succussisque in aspectum planiorem piscibus: "At has quisquilias quanti parasti?" "Vix" inquam "piscatori extorsimus accipere viginti denarium."

I rejoice in your good fortune. For I see on you strigils and rods and an attire wholly fitting a magistrate." "We look after the provisions," he said, "and act as aedile, and if you wish to buy any victuals we will certainly lend them to you." I refused, for we had already sufficiently provided for the supper’s fish. But when Pythias, the little purse seen and the fish shaken out into a clearer view, said: "And for these trifles how much did you prepare?" "Scarcely," I said, "did we extort from the fishmonger that he accept 20 denarii."

[25] Quo audito statim adrepta dextera postliminio me in forum cupidinis reducens: "Et a quo" inquit "istorum nugamenta haec comparasti?" Demonstro seniculum: in angulo sedebat. Quem confestim pro aedilitatis imperio voce asperrima increpans: "Iam iam" inquit "nec amicis quidem nostris vel omnino ullis hospitibus parcitis, quod tam magnis pretiis pisces frivolos indicatis et florem Thessalicae regionis ad instar solitudinis et scopuli edulium caritate deducitis? Sed non impune.

[25] On hearing this, at once seizing my right hand and as it were restoring me, he led me into the market of desire: "And from whom," he said, "did you procure these trifles of theirs?" I point to the little old man: he was sitting in the corner. Whom immediately, by the authority of his aedileship, with the harshest voice rebuking, he said: "Now now — you spare not even our friends or any guests at all, since you set down frivolous fishes at such great prices and, by your love of delicacies, drive away the flower of the Thessalian region as if to a wilderness and a rock? But not unpunished."

Iam enim faxo scias quem ad modum sub meo magisterio mali debeant coerceri", et profusa in medium sportula iubet officialem suum insuper pisces inscendere ac pedibus suis totos obterere. Qua contentus morum severitudine meus Pythias ac mihi ut abirem suadens: "Sufficit mihi, o Luci," inquit "seniculi tanta haec contumelia." His actis consternatus ac prorsus obstupidus ad balneas me refero, prudentis condiscipuli valido consilio et nummis simul privatus et cena, lautusque ad hospitium Milonis ac dehinc cubiculum me reporto.

"For now, by my doing you shall know in what manner evils ought to be restrained under my magistery," and, having poured the sportula into the middle, he orders his officer moreover to cast the fish in and to crush them whole under his feet. With him content by the severity of his manners, my Pythias urging me to go away said: "Enough for me, O Lucius, these so great contumelies to the little old man." When these things had been done, dismayed and utterly stunned, I betake myself to the baths, at once deprived of the prudent fellow‑student’s strong counsel and of money and of dinner, and having bathed I repair to Milo’s lodging and thereafter to my bedchamber.

[26] Et ecce Photis ancilla: "Rogat te" inquit "hospes." At ego iam inde Milonis abstinentiae cognitor excusavi comiter, quod viae vexationem non cibo sed somno censerem diluendam. Isto accepto pergit ipse et iniecta dextera clementer me trahere adoritur. Ac dum cunctor, dum moleste renitor: "Non prius" inquit "discedam quam me sequaris", et dictum iure iurando secutus iam obstinationi suae me ingratiis oboedientem perducit ad illum suum grabattulum et residenti: "Quam salve agit" inquit "Demeas noster?

[26] And behold Photis the maid: "Your host requests you," she says. But I, by then having learned of Milo's abstinence, courteously excused myself, because I judged the vexation of the road ought to be dispelled not by food but by sleep. With that accepted he himself goes on and, having laid his right hand upon me, kindly attempts to draw me. And while I hesitate, while I resist awkwardly: "I will not depart before you follow me," he says, and having followed his word with an oath, now true to his obstinacy he leads me, ungratefully obedient, to his little bed (grabattulum) and, sitting down, says: "How does our Demeas fare?"

Quid uxor? Quid liberi? Quid vernaculi?" Narro singula.

What of the wife? What of the children? What of the household servants? I relate the particulars.

Percontatur accuratius causas etiam peregrinationis meae. Quas ubi probe protuli, iam et de patria nostra et eius primoribus ac denique de ipso praeside scrupulosissime explorans, ubi me post itineris tam saevi vexationem sensit fabularum quoque serie fatigatum in verba media somnolentum desinere ac nequicquam, defectum iam, incerta verborum salebra balbuttire, tandem patitur cubitum concederem. Evasi aliquando rancidi senis loquax et famelicum convivium somno non cibo gravatus, cenatus solis fabulis, et in cubiculum reversus optatae me quieti reddidi.

He questions more closely even the causes of my peregrination. When I had set these forth thoroughly, and, scrutinizing most scrupulously about our patria and its primores and finally about the praeses himself, when he perceived me, after the journey’s so cruel vexation and also fatigued by the series of fabulae, to cease in the middle of words as one nodding and in vain, now exhausted, to stammer the uncertain mire of words, at last he permits that I yield to bed. I somehow escaped the loquacious, rancid old man’s famished convivium, burdened by sleep not by food, having supped only on tales, and returned to the cubiculum I restored myself to the longed-for quiet.