Plautus: Menaechmi

Mercator Siculus, quoi erant gemini filii,
Ei surrupto altero mors optigit.
Nomen surrepticii illi indit qui domist
Avos paternus, facit Maenaechmum e Sosicle.
Et is germanum, postquam adolevit, quaeritat
Circum omnis oras.

A Sicilian merchant, who had twin sons,
To him, with one surreptitiously stolen, death befell.
The paternal grandsire gives to the one at home the name of the stolen one,
and makes Menaechmus from Sosicles.
And he, after he grew up, searches for his own brother
around all the shores.

post Epidamnum devenit:
Hic fuerat alitus ille surrepticius.
Menaechmum omnes civem credunt advenam
Eumque appellant meretrix, uxor et socer.
I se cognoscunt fratres postremo invicem.

Afterward he arrives at Epidamnus:
Here that surreptitious one had been reared.
All believe Menaechmus, a newcomer, to be a citizen,
and the courtesan, the wife, and the father-in-law address him.
At last the brothers recognize one another in turn.

PROLOGVS

PROLOGUE

Salutem primum iam a principio propitiam
mihi atque vobis, spectatores, nuntio.
apporto vobis Plautum, lingua non manu,
quaeso ut benignis accipiatis auribus.
nunc argumentum accipite atque animum advortite; 5
quam potero in verba conferam paucissuma.

First, now from the beginning, I announce a propitious greeting
for me and for you, spectators. I bring Plautus to you, by the tongue, not by the hand,
I beg that you receive with benign ears.
now receive the argument and turn your mind toward it; 5
I will compress it into the very fewest words I can.

Atque hoc poetae faciunt in comoediis:
omnis res gestas esse Athenis autumant,
quo illud vobis graecum videatur magis;
ego nusquam dicam nisi ubi factum dicitur.         10
atque adeo hoc argumentum graecissat, tamen
non atticissat, verum sicilicissitat.
huic argumento antelogium hoc fuit;
nunc argumentum vobis demensum dabo,
non modio, neque trimodio, verum ipso horreo:         15
tantum ad narrandum argumentum adest benignitas.
Mercator quidam fuit Syracusis senex,
ei sunt nati filii gemini duo,
ita forma simili pueri, ut mater sua
non internosse posset quae mammam dabat,     20
neque adeo mater ipsa quae illos pepererat,
ut quidem ille dixit mihi, qui pueros viderat:
ego illos non vidi, ne quis vostrum censeat.

And this the poets do in comedies:
they aver that all deeds were done at Athens,
so that that may seem more Greek to you;
I will not say anywhere except where it is said to have been done.         10
and indeed this plot Greek-izes, however
it does not Atticize, but rather Sicilianizes.
for this plot this was the antelogue;
now I will give you the plot measured out to you,
not by a modius, nor by a trimodius, but by the granary itself:         15
so great is the generosity at hand for telling the plot.
There was a certain old merchant at Syracuse,
to him two twin sons were born,
boys in such similar form, that their own mother
who gave the breast could not distinguish,     20
nor yet even the mother herself who had borne them,
as indeed that fellow told me, who had seen the boys:
I did not see them, lest any of you suppose.

postquam iam pueri septuennes sunt, pater
oneravit navem magnam multis mercibus; 25
imponit geminum alterum in navem pater,
Tarentum avexit secum ad mercatum simul,
illum reliquit alterum apud matrem domi.
Tarenti ludi forte erant, cum illuc venit.
mortales multi, ut ad ludos, convenerant: 30
puer aberravit inter homines a patre.

After the boys are now seven years old, the father
loaded a great ship with many wares; 25
the father puts one of the twins onto the ship,
carried him off with him to Tarentum to market together,
left the other at home with the mother.
By chance there were games at Tarentum when he came there.
many mortals, as to games, had assembled: 30
the boy strayed away from his father among the people.

Epidamniensis quidam ibi mercator fuit,
is puerum tollit avehitque Epidamnium.
pater eius autem postquam puerum perdidit,
animum despondit, eaque is aegritudine         35
paucis diebus post Tarenti emortuost.
Postquam Syracusas de ea re rediit nuntius
ad avom puerorum, puerum surruptum alterum
patremque pueri Tarenti esse emortuom,
immutat nomen avos huic gemino alteri;         40
ita illum dilexit, qui subruptust, alterum:
illius nomen indit illi qui domi est,
Menaechmo, idem quod alteri nomen fuit;
et ipsus eodem est avos vocatus nomine
(propterea illius nomen memini facilius,         45
quia illum clamore vidi flagitarier).
ne mox erretis, iam nunc praedico prius:
idem est ambobus nomen geminis fratribus.

A certain Epidamnian merchant was there,
he picks up the boy and carries him off to Epidamnus.
but his father, after he lost the boy,
lost heart, and from that sickness         35
a few days later at Tarentum he died.
After a messenger returned to Syracuse about that matter
to the boys’ grandfather, that one of the boys had been stolen
and that the boy’s father at Tarentum had died,
the grandfather changes the name for this other twin;         40
so much did he love that other one who had been abducted:
he gives that one’s name to him who is at home,
Menaechmus, the same name which the other had;
and the grandfather himself was called by the same name
(for that reason I remember his name more easily,         45
because I saw him being demanded with clamor).
lest you soon go astray, I now foretell beforehand:
the same name belongs to both twin brothers.

Nunc in Epidamnum pedibus redeundum est mihi,
ut hanc rem vobis examussim disputem.             50
si quis quid vestrum Epidamnum curari sibi
velit, audacter imperato et dicito,
sed ita ut det unde curari id possit sibi.
nam nisi qui argentum dederit, nugas egerit;
qui dederit, magis maiores nugas egerit.             55
verum illuc redeo unde abii, atque uno asto in loco.
Epidamniensis ille, quem dudum dixeram,
geminum illum puerum qui surrupuit alterum,
ei liberorum, nisi divitiae, nil erat:
adoptat illum puerum surrupticium                     60
sibi filium eique uxorem dotatam dedit,
eumque heredem fecit, quom ipse obiit diem.

Now to Epidamnus on foot it must be returned by me,
so that I may set forth this matter for you with exact precision.             50
if any of you wishes to have anything at Epidamnus taken care of
let him command boldly and speak out,
but on this condition, that he give wherefrom that can be attended to for him.
for unless someone shall have given silver, he will have done trifles;
he who shall have given will have done even bigger, greater trifles.             55
but I return thither whence I went away, and I stand in one place.
that man of Epidamnus, whom I mentioned a little while ago,
who pilfered that one twin boy,
he had nothing in the way of children, unless wealth:
he adopts that stolen-away boy                     60
as his son, and he gave him a wife with a dowry,
and made him his heir when he himself met his day.

nam rus ut ibat forte, ut multum pluerat,
ingressus fluvium rapidum ab urbe haud longule,
rapidus raptori pueri subduxit pedes 65
abstraxitque hominem in maximam malam crucem.
illi divitiae evenerunt maximae.
is illic habitat geminus surrupticius.

for as he was going to the countryside by chance, since it had rained much,
having entered a rapid river not far from the city,
the rapid current swept the abductor of the boy off his feet 65
and dragged the man off to the very worst gallows.
to him the greatest riches befell.
he lives there, the stolen twin.

Nunc ille geminus, qui Syracusis habet,
hodie in Epidamnum veniet cum servo suo         70
hunc quaeritatum geminum germanum suom.
haec urbs Epidamnus est, dum haec agitur fabula:
quando alia agetur, aliud fiet oppidum;
sicut familiae quoque solent mutarier:
modo ~ni caditat leno, modo adulescens, modo senex,         75
pauper, mendicus, rex, parasitus, hariolus
* * *             76a

Now that twin, who resides at Syracuse,
today will come to Epidamnus with his slave         70
to seek this twin, his german brother.
this city is Epidamnus, while this play is being acted:
when another shall be acted, it will become another town;
just as families too are wont to be changed:
now the pimp, now the young man, now the old man,         75
a poor man, a beggar, a king, a parasite, a soothsayer
* * *             76a

ACTVS I

ACT 1

I.i

1.1

PENICVLVS Iuventus nomen fecit Peniculo mihi,
ideo quia mensam, quando edo, detergeo.
homines captivos qui catenis vinciunt
et qui fugitivis servis indunt compedes, 80
nimis stulte faciunt mea quidem sententia.
nam homini misero si ad malum accedit malum,
maior lubido est fugere et facere nequiter.

PENICVLVS Youth has made the name “Sponge” for me,
for this reason: because I wipe the table when I eat.
men who bind captives with chains
and who put shackles on fugitive slaves, 80
act far too foolishly, at least in my judgment.
for when to a wretched man evil is added to evil,
the desire is greater to flee and to act wickedly.

nam se ex catenis eximunt aliquo modo.
tum compediti anum lima praeterunt 85
aut lapide excutiunt clavom. nugae sunt eae.

for they get themselves out of chains somehow.
then, even in shackles, they slip past the ring with a file 85
or with a stone they knock out the nail. that’s trifles.

quem tu adservare recte, ne aufugiat, voles,
esca atque potione vinciri decet.
apud mensam plenam homini rostrum deliges;
dum tu illi quod edit et quod potet praebeas, 90
suo arbitratu adfatim cottidie,
numquam edepol fugiet, tam etsi capital fecerit,
facile adservabis, dum eo vinclo vincies.
ita istaec nimis lenta vincla sunt escaria:
quam magis extendas, tanto adstringunt artius. 95
nam ego ad Menaechmum hunc eo, quo iam diu
sum iudicatus; ultro eo ut me vinciat.

whom you will wish to keep rightly under watch, lest he run off,
it is fitting to be bound by food and by drink.
at a full table you will fasten a man’s snout;
so long as you provide him what he may eat and what he may drink, 90
at his own arbitrament to satiety every day,
by Pollux, he will never flee, even if he has done a capital deed;
you will easily keep him under watch, so long as you bind him with that bond.
thus these food-bonds are very pliant:
the more you stretch them, the more tightly they constrain. 95
for I am going to this Menaechmus, to whom I have long been adjudged;
I go unbidden so that he may bind me.

nam illic homo homines non alit, verum educat,
recreatque: nullus melius medicinam facit.
ita est adulescens; ipsus escae maxumae 100
cerialis cenas dat, ita mensas exstruit,
tantas struices concinnat patinarias:
standumst in lecto, si quid de summo petas.
sed mi intervallum iam hos dies multos fuit:
domi domitus sum usque cum caris meis. 105
nam neque edo neque emo nisi quod est carissumum.

for there the man does not feed men, but truly educates,
and recreates them: no one practices medicine better.
thus is the adolescent; he himself gives dinners of the greatest victuals, 100
Cerial banquets, so he piles up the tables,
he composes such great heaps of platters:
one must stand on the couch, if you seek anything from the top.
but for me there has been an interval now these many days:
I have been domesticated at home continually with my dear ones. 105
for I neither eat nor buy anything except what is the dearest.

id quoque iam, cari qui instruontur deserunt.
nunc ad eum inviso. sed aperitur ostium.

Even that now too, the dear things which are being set out desert me.
Now I go to visit him. But the door is being opened.

Menaechmum eccum ipsum video, progreditur foras.

I see Menaechmus himself—look! he is coming out.

I.ii

1.2

MENAECHMVS Ni mala, ni stulta sies, ni indomita imposque animi, 110
quod viro esse odio videas, tute tibi odio habeas.
praeterhac si mihi tale post hunc diem
faxis, faxo foris vidua visas patrem.
nam quotiens foras ire volo, me retines, revocas, rogitas,
quo ego eam, quam rem agam, quid negoti geram, 115
quid petam, quid feram, quid foris egerim.

MENAECHMUS If you were not wicked, not foolish, not indomitable and not out of command of your mind, 110
what you see to be hateful to a husband, you yourself would hold hateful to yourself.
besides this, if you do such a thing to me after this day,
I will make it so that, outdoors, as a widow, you go visit your father.
for as often as I want to go outside, you detain me, call me back, question me,
where I am going, what thing I am doing, what business I am conducting, 115
what I seek, what I bring, what I have done outside.

portitorem domum duxi, ita omnem mihi
rem necesse eloqui est, quidquid egi atque ago.
nimium ego te habui delicatam; nunc adeo ut facturus dicam.
quando ego tibi ancillas, penum, 120
lanam, aurum, vestem, purpuram
bene praebeo nec quicquam eges,
malo cavebis si sapis,
virum observare desines.

I have brought a toll-collector home, so it is necessary for me
to speak out every matter, whatever I have done and whatever I do.
I have had you too pampered; now indeed I will say what I am going to do.
since I provide you with handmaids, the pantry, 120
wool, gold, clothing, purple,
and supply them well, and you lack nothing,
you will beware harm if you are wise,
you will cease to observe your husband.

atque adeo, ne me nequiquam serves, ob eam industriam
hodie ducam scortum ad cenam atque aliquo condicam foras.
PEN. Illic homo se uxori simulat male loqui, loquitur mihi; 125
nam si foris cenat, profecto me, haud uxorem, ulciscitur.
MEN. Euax, iurgio hercle tandem uxorem abegi ab ianua.

and indeed, so that you may not keep watch over me to no purpose, for that industry,
today I will take a harlot to dinner and I will set a date somewhere outside.
PEN. That man pretends he is speaking ill to his wife; he is speaking to me; 125
for if he dines out, assuredly he is avenging himself on me, not on his wife.
MEN. Hurrah, by Hercules, with the quarrel at last I have driven the wife away from the door.

ubi sunt amatores mariti? dona quid cessant mihi
conferre omnes congratulantes, quia pugnavi fortiter?
hanc modo uxori intus pallam surrupui, ad scortum fero. 130
sic hoc decet, dari facete verba custodi catae.

Where are the lovers of the husband? Why do all the congratulators delay to bring me gifts, since I fought bravely? Just now I filched this mantle from my wife inside; I’m carrying it to a courtesan. 130
Thus this is fitting: to give witty words to the watchful guard.

hoc facinus pulchrumst, hoc probumst, hoc lepidumst, hoc factumst fabre:
meo malo a mala abstuli hoc, ad damnum deferetur.
avorti praedam ab hostibus nostrum salute socium.
PEN. Heus adulescens, ecqua in istac pars inest praeda mihi? 135
MEN. Perii, in insidias deveni.

This deed is beautiful, this is proper, this is charming, this has been done skillfully:
to my own harm I have snatched this from a bad woman; it will be conveyed to damage.
I have turned the prey away from the enemies, our comrade safe.
PEN. Hey, young man, is there any share in that booty in it for me? 135
MEN. I am undone—I have come into an ambush.

PEN. Immo in praesidium, ne time.
M. Quis homo est? P. Ego sum.

PEN. No indeed, for your protection, do not fear.
M. Who is the man? P. It is I.

M. O mea Commoditas, o mea Opportunitas,
salve. P. Salve. M. Quid agis?

M. O my Convenience, O my Opportunity,
hail. P. Hail. M. How are you?

P. Teneo dextera genium meum.
MEN. Non potuisti magis per tempus mi advenire quam advenis.
PEN. Ita ego soleo: commoditatis omnis articulos scio. 140
MEN. Vin tu facinus luculentum inspicere?

P. I hold my Genius with my right hand.
MEN. You could not have come more in time for me than you do.
PEN. That’s my way: I know all the joints of every convenience. 140
MEN. Do you want to inspect a brilliant deed?

PEN. Quis id coxit coquos?
iam sciam, si quid titubatumst, ubi reliquias videro.
MEN. Dic mi, enumquam tu vidisti tabulam pictam in pariete,
ubi aquila Catameitum raperet aut ubi Venus Adoneum?

PEN. Who cooked that—
the cooks? I’ll know right away, if anything’s been bungled, when I’ve seen the leftovers.
MEN. Tell me, have you ever seen a painted panel on a wall,
where an eagle was carrying off Ganymede, or where Venus (was carrying off) Adonis?

PEN. Saepe. sed quid istae picturae ad me attinent? MEN. Age me aspice. 145
ecquid adsimulo similiter?

PEN. Often. But how do those pictures pertain to me? MEN. Come, look at me. 145
do I simulate it similarly at all?

PEN. Quis istest ornatus tuos?
MEN. Dic hominem lepidissimum esse me. PEN. Vbi essuri sumus?
MEN. Dic modo hoc quod ego te iubeo.

PEN. What is that attire of yours?
MEN. Say that I am a most charming man. PEN. Where are we to eat?
MEN. Just say what I order you.

PEN. Dico: homo lepidissime.
MEN. Ecquid audes de tuo istuc addere? PEN. Atque hilarissime.

PEN. I say: man most charming.
MEN. Do you dare to add that on your own account? PEN. And most hilarious.

MEN. Perge <perge>. PEN. Non pergo hercle, nisi scio qua gratia. 150
litigium tibi est cum uxore, eo mi abs te caveo cautius.
MEN. Clam uxoremst ubi pulchre habeamus atque hunc comburamus diem.
PEN. Age sane igitur, quando aequom oras, quam mox incendo rogum?

MEN. Go on <go on>. PEN. I’ll not go on, by Hercules, unless I know for what reason. 150
you’ve got a quarrel with your wife; therefore I beware of you the more cautiously.
MEN. It’s on the sly from the wife, a place where we may have it nicely and burn this day.
PEN. Come then, indeed, since you ask what’s fair, how soon do I ignite the pyre?

dies quidem iam ad umbilicum est dimidiatus mortuos. 154-155
MEN. Te morare, mihi quom obloquere. PEN. Oculum ecfodito per solum 156
mihi, Menaechme, si ullum verbum faxo nisi quod iusseris.
MEN. Concede huc a foribus.

indeed the day is now at the navel, half-dead. 154-155
MEN. Delay yourself, when you interrupt me. PEN. Gouge my eye out through the floor for me, Menaechmus, if I utter any word except what you order.
MEN. Step aside here from the doors.

PEN. Fiat. MEN. Etiam concede huc. PEN.Licet.

PEN. So be it. MEN. Also step over here. PEN.It is permitted.

MEN. Etiam nunc concede audacter ab leonino cavo.
PEN. Eu edepol ne tu, ut ego opinor, esses agitator probus. 160
MEN. Quidum? PEN. Ne te uxor sequatur, respectas identidem.

MEN. Even now step back boldly from the lion’s den.
PEN. Ah, by Pollux, you, as I suppose, would be a fine charioteer. 160
MEN. How so? PEN. For fear your wife should follow, you keep looking back again and again.

MEN. Sed quid ais? PEN. Egone? id enim quod tu vis, id aio atque id nego.

MEN. But what do you say? PEN. I? For that which you want, that I affirm and that I deny.

MEN. Ecquid tu de odore possis, si quid forte olfeceris,
facere coniecturam? ***
PEN. *** captum sit collegium. 165
MEN. Agedum odorare hanc quam ego habeo pallam. quid olet?

MEN. Can you, from an odor, if by chance you catch a whiff of something,
make a conjecture? ***
PEN. *** that the college has been captured. 165
MEN. Come then, smell this mantle which I have. What does it smell of?

apstines?
PEN. Summum olfactare oportet vestimentum muliebre,
nam ex istoc loco spurcatur nasum odore ~ inlucido.
MEN. Olfacta igitur hinc, Penicule.

Do you abstain?
PEN. One ought to smell the top of a womanly vestment,
for from that spot the nose is defiled by an illucid odor.
MEN. Sniff from here then, Peniculus.

lepide ut fastidis. PEN. Decet.
MEN. Quid igitur?

How cleverly fastidious you are. PEN. It befits.
MEN. What then?

quid olet? responde. PEN. Furtum, scortum, prandium. 170
tibi fuant
MEN. elocutus, nam
nunc ad amicam deferetur hanc meretricem Erotium.

what does it smell of? answer. PEN. Theft, a harlot, a luncheon. 170
may they be yours
MEN. you've spoken out, for
now to my girlfriend, this courtesan Erotium, it will be carried.

mihi, tibi atque illi iubebo iam adparari prandium. PEN. Eu.
MEN. Inde usque ad diurnam stellam crastinam potabimus. PEN. Eu, 175
expedite fabulatu's. iam fores ferio?

for me, for you, and for him I’ll now order a luncheon to be prepared. PEN. Bravo.
MEN. From there straight on till tomorrow’s day-star we shall drink. PEN. Bravo, 175
you’ve briskly done your talking; shall I knock at the doors now?

MEN. Feri.
vel mane etiam. PEN. Mille passum commoratu's cantharum.

MEN. Strike.
or even in the morning. PEN. You’ve delayed the tankard by a mile.

MEN. Placide pulta. PEN. Metuis, credo, ne fores Samiae sient.
MEN. Mane, mane obsecro hercle: eapse eccam exit.

MEN. Knock gently. PEN. You fear, I suppose, lest the doors be Samian.
MEN. Wait, wait, I beg, by Hercules: the lady herself—look—comes out.

oh, solem vides 179-180
satin ut occaecatust prae huius corporis candoribus? 181

oh, do you see the sun 179-180
see how thoroughly he is blinded in comparison to the candors of this body? 181

I.iii

1.3

EROTIVM Anime mi, Menaechme, salve. PEN. Quid ego? ER. Extra numerum es mihi.

EROTIVM My soul, Menaechmus, greetings. PEN. What about me? ER. You don’t count for me.

PEN. Idem istuc aliis adscriptivis fieri ad legionem solet.
MEN. Ego istic mihi hodie adparari iussi apud te proelium. 184-185
ER. Hodie id fiet. MEN. In eo uterque proelio potabimus; 186
uter ibi melior bellator erit inventus cantharo,
~ tuest legio adiudicato, cum utro hanc noctem sies.

PEN. The same thing is usually done to other adscriptives for the legion.
MEN. I have ordered that a battle be prepared for me here today at your place. 184-185
ER. Today it will be done. MEN. In that battle we both will drink; 186
whichever there will be found the better bellator with the tankard,
~ you be the legion, award the judgment, with which of the two you will be this night.

ut ego uxorem, mea voluptas, ubi te aspicio, odi male.
ER. Interim nequis quin eius aliquid indutus sies. 190
quid hoc est? MEN. Induviae tuae atque uxoris exuviae, rosa.

how badly I hate my wife, my delight, whenever I behold you.
ER. Meanwhile, be sure that you are clad in something of hers. 190
what is this? MEN. Your undergarments and my wife’s cast-offs, my rose.

ER. Superas facile, ut superior sis mihi quam quisquam qui impetrant.
PEN. Meretrix tantisper blanditur, dum illud quod rapiat videt;
nam si amabas, iam oportebat nasum abreptum mordicus. 194-195
MEN. Sustine hoc, Penicule: exuvias facere quas vovi volo. 196
PEN. Cedo; sed obsecro hercle, salta sic cum palla postea.
MEN. Ego saltabo?

ER. You surpass easily, so that you are superior with me to anyone who obtains their request.
PEN. A courtesan blandishes only so long as she sees that thing which she may snatch;
for if she loved, by now your nose ought to have been snatched off—in her teeth. 194-195
MEN. Hold this, Peniculus: I want to make the spoils (exuviae) which I vowed. 196
PEN. Hand it over; but I beg, by Hercules, dance thus with the palla afterward.
MEN. Shall I dance?

sanus hercle non es. PEN. Egone an tu magis?
si non saltas, exue igitur. MEN. Nimio ego hanc periculo
surrupui hodie.

You are not sane, by Hercules. PEN. I—or you more so?
If you do not dance, then strip it off, therefore. MEN. At far too great a peril
I surreptitiously filched this today.

meo quidem animo ab Hippolyta subcingulum 200
Hercules haud aeque magno umquam abstulit periculo.
cape tibi hanc, quando una vivis meis morigera moribus.
ER. Hoc animo decet animatos esse amatores probos.

To my mind indeed, from Hippolyta the girdle 200
Hercules never ever carried off with peril equally great.
take this for yourself, since you alone live compliant to my mores.
ER. With this spirit it is fitting that upright lovers be animated.

PEN. Qui quidem ad mendicitatem se properent detrudere.
MEN. Quattuor minis ego emi istanc anno uxori meae. 205
PEN. Quattuor minae perierunt plane, ut ratio redditur.
MEN. Scin quid volo ego te accurare?

PEN. Who indeed are hastening to push themselves into beggary.
MEN. For four minae I bought that one this year for my wife. 205
PEN. Four minae have plainly perished, as the account is rendered.
MEN. Do you know what I want you to take care of?

ER. Scio, curabo quae voles.
MEN. Iube igitur tribus nobis apud te prandium accurarier
atque aliquid scitamentorum de foro opsonarier,
glandionidam suillam, laridum pernonidam, 210
aut sincipitamenta porcina aut aliquid ad eum modum,
madida quae mi adposita in mensa miluinam suggerant;
atque actutum. ER. Licet ecastor.

ER. I know; I will take care of what you wish.
MEN. Then order that a luncheon be arranged for the three of us at your place,
and that some delicacies be provisioned from the forum/market,
a pork glandionida, a bacon–ham dish, 210
or porcine head-meats, or something of that sort,
moist things which, when set for me on the table, suggest a kite-like ravenousness;
and right away. ER. By Castor, certainly.

MEN. Nos prodimus ad forum.
iam hic nos erimus: dum coquetur, interim potabimus.
ER. Quando vis veni, parata res erit.

MEN. We are going forth to the forum.
We will be here presently: while it is being cooked, in the interim we will drink.
ER. When you wish, come; the thing will be prepared.

MEN. Propera modo. 215
sequere tu. PEN. Ego hercle vero te et servabo et te sequar,
neque hodie ut te perdam, meream deorum divitias mihi.
ER. Evocate intus Culindrum mihi coquom actutum foras.

MEN. Just hurry. 215
you, follow. PEN. By Hercules, indeed I will both keep you safe and follow you,
and may I not deserve for myself the riches of the gods, if today I should lose you.
ER. Call Culindrus the cook out for me from inside at once.

I.iv

1.4

sportulam cape atque argentum. eccos tris nummos habes.
CYLINDRVS Habeo.

Take the sportula and the silver. Look, here you have three coins.
CYLINDRVS I have them.

ER. Abi atque obsonium adfer; tribus vide quod sit satis: 220
neque defiat neque supersit. CYL. Cuius modi hi homines erunt?
ER. Ego et Menaechmus et parasitus eius.

ER. Go and bring provisions; for three see that there is enough: 220
and let it neither be lacking nor left over. CYL. What sort of men will these be?
ER. I and Menaechmus and his parasite.

CYL. Iam isti sunt decem;
nam parasitus octo hominum munus facile fungitur.
ER. Elocuta sum convivas, ceterum cura. CYL. Licet.

CYL. Now those are ten;
for a parasite easily performs the office of eight men.
ER. I have arranged the dinner-guests; for the rest, see to it. CYL. All right.

cocta sunt, iube ire accubitum. ER. Redi cito. CYL. Iam ego hic ero. 225

they are cooked; order them to go to recline at table. ER. Come back quickly. CYL. I’ll be here at once. 225

ACTVS II

ACT 2

II.i

2.1

MENAECHMVS Voluptas nullast navitis, Messenio,
maior meo animo, quam quom ex alto procul
terram conspiciunt. MESSENIO Maior, non dicam dolo,
[quam] si adveniens terram videas quae fuerit tua.
sed quaeso, quam ob rem nunc Epidamnum venimus? 230
an quasi mare omnis circumimus insulas?

MENAECHMUS There is no pleasure for sailors, Messenio,
greater in my mind than when from the deep, far off,
they catch sight of land. MESSENIO Greater, I will not say by trickery,
[than] if, arriving, you should see the land that was yours.
but I ask, for what reason have we now come to Epidamnus? 230
or are we, as if we were the sea, circling all the islands?

MEN. Fratrem quaesitum geminum germanum meum.
MESS. Nam quid modi futurum est illum quaerere?
hic annus sextust postquam ei rei operam damus.

MEN. To seek my brother, my twin, my full-blood brother.
MESS. For how are we going to go about looking for him?
this is the sixth year since we have been devoting effort to that matter.

Histros, Hispanos, Massiliensis, Hilurios, 235
mare superum omne Graeciamque exoticam
orasque Italicas omnis, qua adgreditur mare,
sumus circumvecti. si acum, credo, quaereres,
acum invenisses, si appareret, iam diu.
hominem inter vivos quaeritamus mortuom; 240
nam invenissemus iam diu, si viveret.

The Histri, the Spaniards, the Massilians, the Illyrians, 235
the whole Upper Sea and exotic Greece,
and all the Italian shores, wherever the sea makes approach,
we have circumnavigated. If you were seeking a needle, I believe,
you would have found a needle, if it were apparent, long ago. We are searching among the living for a dead man; 240
for we would have found him long ago, if he were living.

MEN. Ergo istuc quaero certum qui faciat mihi,
qui sese dicat scire eum esse emortuom:
operam praeterea numquam sumam quaerere.
verum aliter vivos numquam desistam exsequi. 245
ego illum scio quam cordi sit carus meo.
MESS. In scirpo nodum quaeris.

MEN. Therefore I’m looking for someone to make that certain for me, who says he knows that he is deceased: besides, I will never take pains to search. But otherwise I will never cease to pursue him among the living. 245
I know how dear he is to my heart.
MESS. You’re seeking a knot in a rush.

quin nos hinc domum
redimus, nisi si historiam scripturi sumus?
MEN. Dictum facessas, datum edis, caveas malo.
molestus ne sis, non tuo hoc fiet modo.

why don’t we go home from here,
unless we are about to write a history?
MEN. Cease the talk; render what’s been promised; beware of harm.
don’t be troublesome; this will not be done in your manner.

MESS. Em 250
illoc enim verbo esse me servom scio.
non potuit paucis plura plane proloqui.
verum tamen nequeo contineri quin loquar.

MESS. There! 250
for by that word I know that I am a slave.
he could not, in a few words, have said more more plainly.
but still I cannot restrain myself from speaking.

audin, Menaechme? quom inspicio marsuppium,
viaticati hercle admodum aestive sumus. 255
ne tu hercle, opinor, nisi domum revorteris,
ubi nihil habebis, geminum dum quaeres, gemes.
nam ita est haec hominum natio: in Epidamnieis
voluptarii atque potatores maxumi;
tum sycophantae et palpatores plurumi 260
in urbe hac habitant; tum meretrices mulieres
nusquam perhibentur blandiores gentium.

Do you hear, Menaechmus? When I inspect the purse, by Hercules, as to viaticum we are outfitted very summer-fashion. 255
By Hercules, I think, unless you revert home, where you will have nothing, while you seek the twin, you will groan.
for such is this nation of men: among the Epidamnians the greatest voluptuaries and potators;
then sycophants and palpators in great number 260
dwell in this city; then meretricious women are said to be nowhere among the nations more coaxing.

propterea huic urbi nomen Epidamno inditumst,
quia nemo ferme huc sine damno devortitur.
MEN. Ego istuc cavebo. cedo dum huc mihi marsuppium. 265
MESS. Quid eo vis?

for that reason the name Epidamnus has been given to this city,
because scarcely anyone turns aside here without damage.
MEN. I will beware of that. Hand me the purse here. 265
MESS. What do you want with it?

MEN. Iam aps te metuo de verbis tuis.
MESS. Quid metuis? MEN. Ne mihi damnum in Epidamno duis.

MEN. Now from your words I already fear you.
MESS. What do you fear? MEN. Lest you bring damage to me in Epidamnus.

tu magnus amator mulierum es, Messenio,
ego autem homo iracundus, animi perditi;
id utrumque, argentum quando habebo, cavero, 270
ne tu delinquas neve ego irascar tibi.
MESS. Cape atque serva. me lubente feceris.

you are a great lover of women, Messenio,
but I am a man irascible, of a reckless disposition;
this both, when I have the silver, I will beware, 270
lest you transgress nor I grow angry with you.
MESS. Take and keep it. You will do it with me willing.

II.ii

2.2

CYLINDRVS Bene opsonavi atque ex mea sententia,
bonum anteponam prandium pransoribus.
sed eccum Menaechmum video. vae tergo meo, 275
prius iam convivae ambulant ante ostium,
quam ego opsonatu redeo.

CYLINDRVS I’ve marketed well for viands, and in my judgment,
I’ll set a good luncheon before the diners.
but look, I see Menaechmus. woe to my back, 275
already the convives are walking before the doorway,
before I return from marketing for viands.

adibo atque alloquar.
Menaechme, salve. MEN. Di te amabunt quisquis <es>.
CYL. Quisquis *** <es> ego sim?

I’ll go up and address him.
Menaechmus, greetings. MEN. May the gods love you, whoever you are.
CYL. Whoever—***—you are, what am I supposed to be?

MEN. Non hercle vero. CYL. Vbi convivae ceteri? 280
MEN. Quos tu convivas quaeris? CYL. Parasitum tuom.

MEN. No, by Hercules, certainly not. CYL. Where are the other dinner-guests? 280
MEN. Which dinner-guests are you asking about? CYL. Your parasite.

MEN. Meum parasitum? certe hic insanust homo.
MESS. Dixin tibi esse hic sycophantas plurumos?

MEN. My parasite? surely this man is insane.
MESS. Didn’t I tell you there are very many sycophants here?

* * *
MEN. Quem tu parasitum quaeris, adulescens, meum? 285
MESS. Peniculum eccum in vidulo salvom fero.
CYL. Menaechme, numero huc advenis ad prandium.
nunc opsonatu redeo.

* * *
MEN. Which parasite are you looking for, young man—mine? 285
MESS. Peniculus—look!—I bear a “little brush” safe in the travel-bag.
CYL. Menaechmus, I number you here for lunch. Now I return to buy the dishes.

MEN. Responde mihi,
adulescens: quibus hic pretiis porci veneunt
sacres sinceri? CYL. Nummis. MEN. Nummum a me accipe: 290
iube te piari de mea pecunia.

MEN. Answer me,
adolescent: at what prices here are sacred, unblemished pigs sold?
CYL. For coin. MEN. Take a coin from me: 290
order that you be expiated at my expense.

nam equidem insanum esse te certo scio,
qui mihi molestu's homini ignoto, quisquis es.
CYL. Cylindrus ego sum: non nosti nomen meum?
MEN. Si tu Cylindrus seu Coriendrus, perieris. 295
ego te non novi, neque novisse adeo volo.
CYL. Est tibi Menaechmo nomen, tantum quod sciam.

for indeed I surely know you to be insane,
since you are bothersome to me, a man unknown, whoever you are.
CYL. I am Cylindrus: do you not know my name?
MEN. Whether you’re Cylindrus or Coriendrus, perish. 295
I do not know you, nor, indeed, do I wish to know you.
CYL. Your name is Menaechmus, so far as I know.

MEN. Pro sano loqueris quom me appellas nomine.
sed ubi novisti me? CYL. Vbi ego te noverim,
qui amicam habes eram meam hanc Erotium? 300
MEN. Neque hercle ego habeo, neque te quis homo sis scio.
CYL. Non scis quis ego sim, qui tibi saepissime
cyathisso apud nos, quando potas?

MEN. You speak like a sane man when you address me by name.
but where have you come to know me? CYL. Where should I have gotten to know you,
you who have as girlfriend my mistress here, Erotium? 300
MEN. Neither, by Hercules, do I have her, nor do I know what man you are.
CYL. You do not know who I am, I who most often
serve you with the cyathus at our place, when you drink?

MESS. Ei mihi,
quom nihil est qui illi homini diminuam caput.
MEN. Tun cyathissare mihi soles, qui ante hunc diem 305
Epidamnum numquam vidi neque veni? CYL. Negas?

MESS. Alas for me,
since there is nothing by which I might diminish that fellow’s head.
MEN. Are you the one who is wont to ladle out cups for me, I who before this day 305
have neither seen nor come to Epidamnus? CYL. You deny it?

MEN. Nego hercle vero. CYL. Non tu in illisce aedibus
~ habitas? MEN. Di illos homines, qui illic habitant, perduint.

MEN. By Hercules, I truly deny it. CYL. Do you not in those lodgings
~ live? MEN. May the gods utterly ruin those men who live there.

CYL. Insanit hic quidem, qui ipse male dicit sibi.
audin, Menaechme? MEN. Quid vis?

CYL. He is indeed raving, who himself speaks ill of himself.
Do you hear, Menaechmus? MEN. What do you want?

CYL. Si me consulas,         310
nummum illum quem mihi dudum pollicitu's dare --
nam tu quidem hercle certo non sanu's satis,
Menaechme, qui nunc ipsus male dicas tibi--
iubeas, si sapias, porculum adferri tibi.                             314-315
MES. Eu hercle hominem multum, et odiosum mihi.         316
CYL. Solet iocari saepe mecum illoc modo.
quam vis ridiculus est, ubi uxor non adest.
quid ais tu? MEN. Quid vis, inquam.

CYL. If you take my counsel,        310
that coin which you a little while ago promised to give me—
for indeed, by Hercules, you are certainly not quite sane enough,
Menaechmus, you who now speak ill of yourself—
you should order, if you are wise, a little porker to be brought in for you.                            314-315
MES. By Hercules—what a man, and odious to me.        316
CYL. He is wont to joke with me often in that way.
he is very ridiculous, when his wife is not present.
what do you say? MEN. What do you want, I say.

CYL. Satin hoc quod vides
tribus vobis opsonatumst, an opsono amplius, 320
tibi et parasito et mulieri? MEN. Quas [tu] mulieres,
quos tu parasitos loquere? MESS. Quod te urget scelus,
qui huic sis molestus?

CYL. Is what you see enough
to have been provisioned for the three of you, or shall I provide more, 320
for you and the parasite and the woman? MEN. What women,
what parasites are you talking about? MESS. Scoundrel, what urges you,
that you should be troublesome to this man?

CYL. Quid tibi mecum est rei?
ego te non novi: cum hoc quem novi fabulor.
MESS. Non edepol tu homo sanus es, certo scio. 325
CYL. Iam ergo haec madebunt faxo, nil morabitur.

CYL. What business have you with me?
I do not know you: I am conversing with this man whom I know.
MESS. By Pollux, you are not a sane man, I know for sure. 325
CYL. Then I’ll make sure these things get soaked at once; it will not delay at all.

proin tu ne quo abeas longius ab aedibus.
numquid vis? MEN. Vt eas maximam malam crucem.

so then do not go any farther away from the house.
is there anything you want? MEN. go to the very worst gallows.

CYL. Ire hercle meliust te interim atque accumbere,
dum ego haec appono ad Volcani violentiam. 330
ibo intro et dicam te hic adstare Erotio,
ut te hinc abducat potius quam hic adstes foris.
MEN. Iamne abiit <illic>? edepol haud mendacia
tua verba experior esse. MESS. Observato modo:
nam istic meretricem credo habitare mulierem, 335
ut quidem ille insanus dixit, qui hinc abiit modo.

CYL. It is better, by Hercules, for you to go for now and recline,
while I set these things to the violence of Vulcan. 330
I will go inside and tell Erotium that you are standing here,
so that she may lead you away from here rather than that you stand here outside.
MEN. Has he already gone away <there>? By Pollux, I find by experience that your words are
not lies. MESS. Only keep watch for now:
for I believe that a prostitute woman lives in that place, 335
as indeed that madman said who just went away from here.

MEN. Sed miror qui ille noverit nomen meum.
MESS. Minime hercle mirum. morem hunc meretrices habent:
ad portum mittunt servolos, ancillulas;
si quae peregrina navis in portum advenit, 340
rogitant cuiatis sit, quid ei nomen siet,
postilla extemplo se applicant, agglutinant:
si pellexerunt, perditum amittunt domum.

MEN. But I marvel how that fellow knew my name.
MESS. Not at all, by Hercules, a wonder. Courtesans have this custom:
they send little slave-boys, little maidservants, to the harbor;
if any foreign ship comes into the harbor, 340
they ask of what country he is, what his name might be,
after that, straightway they fasten themselves on, they glue themselves on:
if they have enticed him, they send his home to perdition.

nunc in istoc portu stat navis praedatoria,
aps qua cavendum nobis sane censeo. 345
MEN. Mones quidem hercle recte. MESS. Tum demum sciam
recte monuisse, si tu recte caveris.
MEN. Tace dum parumper, nam concrepuit ostium:
videamus qui hinc egreditur.

now in that harbor there stands a predatory ship,
from which I truly judge we must beware. 345
MEN. You do indeed, by Hercules, advise rightly. MESS. Then only shall I know
that I have advised rightly, if you take proper precautions. MEN. Be silent a moment, for the door has creaked:
let us see who comes out from here.

MESS. Hoc ponam interim.
asservatote haec sultis, navales pedes. 350

MESS. I’ll set this down meanwhile.
Keep these, if you please, naval foot-soldiers. 350

II.iii

2.3

EROTIVM Sine fores sic, abi, nolo operiri.
intus para, cura, vide, quod opust fiat:
sternite lectos, incendite odores; munditia
inlecebra animost amantium. 354-355
amanti amoenitas malost, nobis lucrost. 356
sed ubi ille est, quem coquos ante aedis esse ait? atque eccum video,
qui mi est usui et plurimum prodest.

EROTIVM Leave the doors thus; go, I do not want to wait.
inside, prepare, take care, see that what is needful be done:
make up the couches, ignite the perfumes; cleanliness
is an allurement of lovers’ spirits. 354-355
for the lover amenity is an ill; for us, it is lucre. 356
but where is he who said the cooks were before the house? And look, I see him,
who is of use to me and profits me most.

item hinc ultro fit, ut meret, potissimus nostrae domi ut sit;
nunc eum adibo, adloquar ultro. 360
animule mi, mihi mira videntur,
te hic stare foris, fores quoi pateant,
magis quam domus tua domus quom haec tua sit.
omne paratumst, ut iussisti
atque ut voluisti, neque tibi 365
ulla morast intus.
prandium, ut iussisti, hic curatumst:
ubi lubet, ire licet accubitum.

likewise from this it comes about unbidden, as he deserves, that he be the most favored in our house;
now I will go to him, I will address him unbidden. 360
my little soul, it seems marvelous to me,
you standing here outside, you to whom the doors stand open,
rather than that this house be your house, since this is yours.
everything is prepared, as you ordered
and as you wished, nor for you 365
is there any delay inside.
the luncheon, as you ordered, has been cared for here:
whenever it pleases, it is permitted to go to recline.

M. Quicum haec mulier loquitur? E. Equidem tecum. M. Quid mecum tibi
fuit umquam aut nunc est negoti?

M. With whom is this woman speaking? E. Indeed, with you. M. What business have you ever had with me, or have you now?

ER. Quia pol te unum ex omnibus 370
Venus me voluit magnificare, neque id haud immerito tuo.
nam ecastor solus benefactis tuis me florentem facis.
MEN. Certo haec mulier aut insana aut ebria est, Messenio,
quae hominem ignotum compellet me tam familiariter.

ER. Because, by Pollux, Venus wanted me to magnify you alone out of all, 370
and that not at all without your desert. For by Castor you alone, by your benefactions, make me flourishing.
MEN. Surely this woman is either insane or drunk, Messenio,
who so familiarly accosts me, a man unknown.

MESS. Dixin ego istaec hic solere fieri? folia nunc cadunt, 375
praeut si triduom hoc hic erimus: tum arbores in te cadent.
nam ita sunt hic meretrices: omnes elecebrae argentariae.

MESS. Didn’t I say these things are wont to be done here? The leaves are falling now, 375
compared with if we are here for three days: then the trees will fall on you.
for such are the courtesans here: all enticers for silver.

sed sine me dum hanc compellare. heus mulier, tibi dico. ER. Quid est?

but allow me for the moment to address her. hey, woman, I'm speaking to you. ER. What is it?

MESS. Vbi tu hunc hominem novisti? ER. Ibidem ubi hic me iam diu,
in Epidamno. MESS. In Epidamno?

MESS. Where did you come to know this man? ER. In the same place where this fellow here has known me for a long time now,
in Epidamnus. MESS. In Epidamnus?

qui huc in hanc urbem pedem, 380
nisi hodie, numquam intro tetulit? ER. Heia, delicias facis.
mi Menaechme, quin, amabo, is intro?

who has set foot into this city here, 380
unless today, never at all before? ER. Come now, you’re making sport.
my Menaechmus, why not, please, go inside?

hic tibi erit rectius.
MEN. Haec quidem edepol recte appellat meo me mulier nomine.
nimis miror, quid hoc sit negoti.

Here it will be better for you.
MEN. This woman indeed, by Pollux, calls me by my own name rightly.
I marvel exceedingly, what business this is.

MESS. Oboluit marsuppium
huic istuc quod habes. MEN. Atque edepol tu me monuisti probe. 385
accipe dum hoc. iam scibo, utrum haec me mage amet an marsuppium.

MESS. The purse has given off its scent to this one— that thing you have.
to her, that thing you have. MEN. And by Pollux, you have warned me well. 385
Take this for now. Now I shall know whether she loves me more, or the purse.

ER. Eamus intro, ut prandeamus. MEN. Bene vocas: tam gratiast.
ER. Cur igitur me tibi iussisti coquere dudum prandium?

ER. Let’s go inside, so that we may have lunch. MEN. Good call: it’s so welcome.
ER. Why then did you order me a little while ago to cook lunch for you?

MEN. Egon te iussi coquere? ER. Certo, tibi et parasito tuo.
MEN. Cui, malum, parasito?

MEN. Did I order you to cook? ER. Certainly, for you and your parasite.
MEN. For whom, the mischief, a parasite?

certo haec mulier non sanast satis. 390
ER. Peniculo. MEN. Quis iste est Peniculus? qui extergentur baxeae?

surely this woman is not sane enough. 390
ER. With Peniculus. MEN. Who is that Peniculus? the one by which the boxwood tablets are wiped?

ER. Scilicet qui dudum tecum venit, quom pallam mihi
detulisti, quam ab uxore tua surrupuisti. MEN. Quid est?
tibi pallam dedi, quam uxori meae surrupui?

ER. Naturally, the one who a little while ago came with you, when you brought me
the mantle which you surreptitiously stole from your wife. MEN. What is this?
that I gave you the mantle which I stole from my wife?

sanan es?
certe haec mulier cantherino ritu astans somniat. 395
ER. Qui lubet ludibrio habere me atque ire infitias mihi
facta quae sunt? MEN. Dic quid est id quod negem quod fecerim?
ER. Pallam te hodie mihi dedisse uxoris.

are you sane?
surely this woman, standing in the manner of a nag, is dreaming. 395
ER. Why is it your pleasure to hold me to mockery and to go into denials to me of things that have been done? MEN. Say what it is that I deny that I have done?
ER. That today you gave me your wife’s palla.

MEN. Etiam nunc nego.
ego quidem neque umquam uxorem habui neque habeo, neque huc
umquam, postquam natus sum, intra portam penetravi pedem. 400
prandi in navi, inde huc sum egressus, te conveni. ER. Eccere,
perii misera, quam tu mihi nunc navem narras?

MEN. Even now
I deny it. I indeed have neither ever had a wife nor do I have one, nor ever, since I was born, have I set foot within the gate here. 400
I lunched on the ship, from there I disembarked to here, I met you. ER. Look, I am undone, wretched me—what ship are you now telling me of?

MEN. Ligneam,
saepe tritam, saepe fixam, saepe excussam malleo;
quasi supellex pellionis, palus palo proxumust.
ER. Iam, amabo, desiste ludos facere atque i hac mecum semul.             405
MEN. Nescio quem, mulier, alium hominem, non me quaeritas.
ER. Non ego te novi Menaechmum, Moscho prognatum patre,
qui Syracusis perhibere natus esse in Sicilia,
ubi rex Agathocles regnator fuit et iterum Phintia,                         409-410
tertium Liparo, qui in morte regnum Hieroni tradidit,             411
nunc Hiero est?

MEN. A wooden one,
often worn, often pegged, often beaten out with a mallet;
like the equipment of a skinner: post next to post.
ER. Now, please, stop playing games and go this way with me at once.             405
MEN. You are looking for I know not what other man, woman, not me.
ER. Do I not know you, Menaechmus, begotten from father Moschus,
who are reported to have been born at Syracuse in Sicily,
where King Agathocles was ruler and in turn Phintias,                         409-410
thirdly Liparus, who at his death handed the kingdom to Hieron,             411
now is it Hieron?

MEN. Haud falsa, mulier, praedicas. MESS. Pro Iuppiter,
num istaec mulier illinc venit, quae te novit tam cate?
MEN. Hercle opinor, pernegari non potest.

MEN. You do not speak falsely, woman. MESS. By Jupiter,
can that woman have come from over there, who knows you so cleverly?
MEN. By Hercules, I suppose, it cannot be denied.

MESS. Ne feceris. 414-415
periisti, si intrassis intra limen. MEN. Quin tu tace modo. 416
bene res geritur. adsentabor quidquid dicet mulieri,
si possum hospitium nancisci.

MESS. Don’t do it. 414-415
you are done for, if you step within the threshold. MEN. Just be quiet, will you. 416
Things are going well. I will assent to whatever the woman says,
if I can obtain hospitality.

iam dudum, mulier, tibi
non imprudens advorsabar: hunc metuebam, ne meae 419-420
uxori renuntiaret de palla et de prandio. 421
nunc, quando vis, eamus intro. ER. Etiam parasitum manes?
MEN. Neque ego illum maneo, neque flocci facio, neque, si venerit,
eum volo intromitti.

for some time now, woman, I was opposing you not imprudently: I was afraid of this fellow, lest he report back to my wife about the palla and the luncheon. 419-420
now, whenever you wish, let us go inside. 421
ER. Are you even waiting for the parasite?
MEN. I neither wait for him, nor do I value him a whit, nor, if he comes,
do I want him to be let in.

ER. Ecastor haud invita fecero.
sed scin quid te amabo ut facias? MEN. Impera quid vis modo. 425
ER. Pallam illam, quam dudum dederas, ad phrygionem ut deferas,
ut reconcinnetur atque ut opera addantur quae volo.

ER. By Castor, I will do it not unwillingly.
but do you know what? I’d love you to do something. MEN. Just command what you wish. 425
ER. That palla, which you gave a little while ago, take it to the Phrygian-embroiderer,
to have it refashioned and to have the workmanship that I want added.

MEN. Hercle qui tu recte dicis: eadem ignorabitur,
ne uxor cognoscat te habere, si in via conspexerit.
ER. Ergo mox auferto tecum, quando abibis. MEN. Maxime. 430
ER. Eamus intro MEN. Iam sequar te. hunc volo etiam conloqui.

MEN. By Hercules, you speak rightly: the same will be made unrecognizable, so that your wife may not recognize that you have it, if she should catch sight of you in the street.
ER. Therefore soon take it away with you, when you depart. MEN. By all means. 430
ER. Let’s go inside. MEN. I will follow you presently; I want to speak with this fellow as well.

eho Messenio, accede huc. MESS. Quid negoti est? MEN. ~sussciri.

hey, Messenio, come here. MESS. What business is there? MEN. ~to whisper.

M. Quid eo opust? M. Opus est. scio ut me dices.

M. What need is there of that? M. There is need. I know what you’ll say to me.

M. Tanto nequior.
MEN. Habeo praedam: tantum incepi operis. ei quantum potes, 434-435
abduc istos in tabernam actutum devorsoriam. 436
tum facito ante solem occasum ut venias advorsum mihi.

M. All the more nefarious.
MEN. I have the prey: I’ve only just begun the work. hey, as much as you can, 434-435
lead those fellows off at once to the lodging‑tavern. 436
then see to it that before sunset you come to meet me.

MESS. Non tu istas meretrices novisti, ere. MEN. Tace, inquam ***
mihi dolebit, non tibi, si quid ego stulte fecero.
mulier haec stulta atque inscita est; quantum perspexi modo, 440
est hic praeda nobis.++MESS. Perii, iamne abis?

MESS. You do not know those prostitutes, master. MEN. Be quiet, I say ***
it will hurt me, not you, if I do anything foolish.
this woman is stupid and ignorant; so far as I have just perceived, 440
there is prey here for us.++MESS. I am undone—are you going already?

periit probe:
ducit lembum dierectum navis praedatoria.
sed ego inscitus qui domino me postulem moderarier:
dicto me emit audientem, haud imperatorem sibi.
sequimini, ut, quod imperatum est, veniam advorsum temperi. 445

he’s thoroughly done for:
the pirate ship is steering a skiff straight.
but I am foolish to be asking to manage my master:
he bought me obedient to a word, not as a commander over himself.
follow, so that, what has been ordered, I may come to meet on time. 445

ACTVS III

ACT 3

III.i

3.1

PENICVLVS Plus triginta annis natus sum, quom interea loci,
numquam quicquam facinus feci peius neque scelestius,
quam hodie, quom in contionem mediam me immersi miser.
ubi ego dum hieto, Menaechmus se subterduxit mihi
atque abiit ad amicam, credo, neque me voluit ducere. 450
qui illum di omnes perduint, qui primus commentust ***
contionem habere, qui homines occupatos occupat.
non ad eam rem otiosos homines decuit deligi,
qui nisi adsint quom citentur, census capiat ilico?

PENICVLVS I am more than thirty years old, and in all this time,
never have I done any deed worse nor more wicked
than today, when into the middle of the assembly I, poor wretch, plunged myself.
while I stood gaping, Menaechmus slipped himself away from me
and went off to his girlfriend, I suppose, nor did he want to take me along. 450
May all the gods destroy the man who first contrived ***
to hold an assembly, who occupies men who are occupied.
it was not fitting that idle men be chosen for that business,
men who, unless they are present when they are summoned, the census seizes on the spot?

* * * 455

adfatim est hominum, in dies qui singulas escas edint,
quibus negoti nihil est, qui essum neque vocantur neque vocant:
eos oportet contioni dare operam atque comitiis.
si id ita esset, non ego hodie perdidissem prandium, 460
quoi tam credo ~ datum voluisse quam me video vivere.
ibo: etiamnum reliquiarum spes animum oblectat meum.

There is a plenty of men, who day by day eat single rations,
who have no business, who to a meal neither are called nor call:
it is proper that they give attention to the assembly and to the comitia.
if that were so, I would not today have lost my luncheon, 460
to whom I so believe ~ that they wished a portion to be given, as I see myself to live.
I will go: even now the hope of leftovers gratifies my mind.

sed quid ego video? Menaechmus cum corona exit foras.
sublatum est convivium, edepol venio adversum temperi.

But what do I see? Menaechmus comes out with a crown.
The banquet has been taken away; by Pollux, I arrive at the wrong time.

observabo, quid agat, hominem. post adibo atque adloquar. 465

I will observe the man, what he is doing. Afterwards I will approach and address him. 465

III.ii

3.2

MENAECHMVS Potine ut quiescas? ego tibi hanc hodie probe
lepideque concinnatam referam temperi.
non faxo eam esse dices: ita ignorabitur.

MENAECHMVS Could you be quiet? I’ll bring this back to you today, properly and neatly concinnated, in good time.
I’ll make sure you don’t say it’s the same: thus it will be unrecognized.

PEN. Pallam ad phrygionem fert confecto prandio
vinoque expoto, parasito excluso foras. 470
non hercle is sum qui sum, ni hanc iniuriam
meque ultus pulchre fuero. observa quid dabo.
MEN. Pro di immortales, quoi homini umquam uno die
boni dedistis plus, qui minus speraverit?

PEN. She carries the pall to the Phrygian embroiderer, with luncheon finished and the wine drunk up, the parasite shut out of doors. 470
I am not, by Hercules, the man I am, unless I shall have handsomely avenged both this injury and myself. Observe what I will do.
MEN. O immortal gods, to what man have you ever in one day given more good, who had hoped less?

prandi, potavi, scortum accubui, apstuli 475
hanc, quoius heres numquam erit post hunc diem.
PEN. Nequeo quae loquitur exaudire clanculum;
satur nunc loquitur de me et de parti mea.
MEN. Ait hanc dedisse me sibi, atque eam meae 479-480
uxori surrupuisse.

I lunched, I drank, I reclined with a harlot, I carried off 475
this, of which there will never be an heir after this day.
PEN. I cannot overhear what he says clandestinely;
sated, he now speaks about me and about my portion.
MEN. He says that I have given this to him, and that I 479-480
filched it from my wife.

quoniam sentio 481
errare, extemplo, quasi res cum ea esset mihi,
coepi adsentari: mulier quidquid dixerat,
idem ego dicebam. quid multis verbis <opust>?
minore nusquam bene fui dispendio. 485
PEN. Adibo ad hominem, nam turbare gestio.
MEN. Quis hic est, qui adversus it mihi?

since I sense 481
her to be erring, at once, as if the affair were with her for me,
I began to assent: whatever the woman had said,
the same I was saying. What need of many words?
nowhere was I ever well off at a smaller expense. 485
PEN. I’ll go up to the man, for I am eager to make trouble.
MEN. Who is this, who comes up against me?

PEN. Quid ais, homo
levior quam pluma, pessime et nequissime,
flagitium hominis, subdole ac minimi preti?
quid de te merui, qua me causa perderes? 490
ut surrupuisti te mihi dudum de foro!
fecisti funus med absente prandio.

PEN. What do you say, man
lighter than a feather, most wicked and most good-for-nothing,
disgrace of a man, sly and of the least price?
what did I deserve from you, for what cause would you ruin me? 490
how you stole yourself away from me just now from the forum!
you made a funeral-luncheon, with me absent.

cur ausu's facere, quoi ego aeque heres eram?
MEN. Adulescens, quaeso, quid tibi mecum est rei,
qui mihi male dicas homini ignoto insciens? 495
an tibi malam rem vis pro male dictis dari?
PEN. ~Pol eam quidem edepol te dedisse intellego.

why did you dare to do it, to which I was equally an heir?
MEN. Young man, I beg, what business have you with me, that you, unknowing, speak ill to me, a man unknown? 495
or do you wish a bad thing to be given to you in return for your ill-sayings?
PEN. ~By Pollux, that indeed—by Pollux—I perceive you have given me.

MEN. Responde, adulescens, quaeso, quid nomen tibist?
PEN. Etiam derides, quasi nomen non noveris?
MEN. Non edepol ego te, quod sciam, umquam ante hunc diem 500
vidi neque novi; verum certo, quisquis es,
si aequom facias, mihi odiosus ne sies.

MEN. Respond, adolescent, I beg, what is your name?
PEN. Do you even deride, as if you did not know the name?
MEN. Indeed, by Pollux, I, so far as I know, never before this day 500
saw you nor do I know you; but surely, whoever you are,
if you do what is equitable, do not be odious to me.

PEN. Menaechme, vigila. MEN. Vigilo hercle equidem, quod sciam.
PEN. Non me novisti?

PEN. Menaechmus, wake up. MEN. By Hercules, I am awake indeed, so far as I know.
PEN. Do you not know me?

MEN. Non negem, si noverim.
PEN. Tuom parasitum non novisti? MEN. Non tibi 505
sanum est, adulescens, sinciput, intellego.

MEN. I would not deny it, if I knew.
PEN. Do you not know your parasite? MEN. Your 505
half-head is not sound, adolescent, I understand.

PEN. Responde, surrupuistin uxori tuae
pallam istanc hodie atque dedisti Erotio?
MEN. Neque hercle ego uxorem habeo neque ego Erotio
dedi nec pallam surrupui. PEN. Satin sanus es? 510
occisast haec res.

PEN. Answer, did you filch from your wife
that mantle today and give it to Erotium?
MEN. Neither, by Hercules, do I have a wife nor did I to Erotium
give it, nor did I pilfer the mantle. PEN. Are you quite sane? 510
this matter is slain.

non ego te indutum foras
exire vidi pallam? MEN. Vae capiti tuo.
omnis cinaedos esse censes, tu quia es?
tun med indutum fuisse pallam praedicas? 514-515
PEN. Ego hercle vero.

Did I not see you go out clad in a palla?
MEN. Woe to your head.
Do you suppose everyone are catamites, because you are?
Are you proclaiming that I was clad in a palla? 514-515
PEN. By Hercules, indeed I do.

MEN. Non tu abis quo dignus es? 516
aut te piari iube, homo insanissime.
PEN. Numquam edepol quisquam me exorabit, quin tuae
uxori rem omnem iam, uti sit gesta, eloquar;
omnes in te istaec recident contumeliae: 520
faxo haud inultus prandium comederis.
MEN. Quid hoc est negoti?

MEN. Will you not go away where you are worthy to go? 516
or have yourself expiated, most insane man.
PEN. Never, by Pollux, will anyone win me over, but that I
will tell your wife the whole affair now, how it has been done;
all those insults will recoil upon you: 520
I will make sure you do not eat your luncheon unavenged.
MEN. What is this business?

satine, ut quemque conspicor,
ita me ludificant? sed concrepuit ostium.

is it so, that as I catch sight of each one,
thus they make sport of me? but the door has creaked.

III.iii

3.3

ANCILLA Menaechme, amare ait te multum Erotium,
ut hoc una opera <sibi> ad aurificem deferas, 525
atque huc ut addas auri pondo unciam
iubeasque spinter novom reconcinnarier.
MEN. Et istuc et aliud, si quid curari volet,
me curaturum dicito, quidquid volet.
ANC. Scin quid hoc sit spinter?

HANDMAID Menaechmus, Erotium says that she loves you very much,
that you take this in the same errand to the goldsmith, 525
and that you add here an ounce in weight of gold,
and order the spinter to be re-fashioned anew.
MEN. Both that and anything else, if she wants anything taken care of,
say that I will see to it, whatever she wishes.
HANDMAID. Do you know what this spinter is?

MEN. Nescio, nisi aureum. 530
ANC. Hoc est quod olim clanculum ex armario
te surrupuisse aiebas uxori tuae.
MEN. Numquam hercle factum est. ANC. Non meministi, obsecro?

MEN. I don’t know, unless that it’s golden. 530
ANC. This is the thing which once, secretly, out of the cupboard,
you were saying you had filched from your wife.
MEN. By Hercules, it never happened. ANC. Don’t you remember, I beg?

redde igitur spinter, si non meministi. MEN. Mane.
immo equidem memini.

therefore give back the spinter, if you do not remember. MEN. Wait.
nay indeed, I do remember.

nempe hoc est, quod illi dedi. 535
ANC. Istuc. MEN. Vbi illae armillae sunt, quas una dedi?
ANC. Numquam dedisti.

Surely this is what I gave to her. 535
ANC. Just so. MEN. Where are those armlets which I gave along with it?
ANC. You never gave them.

MEN. Nam pol hoc unum dedi.
ANC. Dicam curare? MEN. Dicito: curabitur.

MEN. For by Pollux, I gave this one thing.
ANC. Shall I say to take care of it? MEN. Do say: it will be cared for.

et palla et spinter faxo referantur simul. 539-540
ANC. Amabo, mi Menaechme, inauris da mihi 541
faciendas pondo duom nummum, stalagmia,
ut te libenter videam, quom ad nos veneris.
MEN. Fiat. cedo aurum, ego manupretium dabo.

and I’ll make sure that both the mantle and the bracelet are brought back together. 539-540
ANC. Please, my Menaechmus, give me for having earrings made, 541
of the weight of two coins, stalagmia,
so that I may gladly see you when you come to us.
MEN. Let it be done. Hand over the gold; I will pay the labor-price.

ANC. Da sodes abs te: <ego> post reddidero tibi. 545
MEN. Immo cedo abs te: ego post tibi reddam duplex.
ANC. Non habeo. MEN. At tu, quando habebis, tum dato.

ANC. Please give, I beg, from your own: <I> afterward will pay you back. 545
MEN. No rather, hand it over from you: I later will pay you back double.
ANC. I do not have it. MEN. But you, when you have it, then give it.

ANC. Numquid [me] vis?MEN. Haec me curaturum dicito--
ut quantum possint quique liceant veneant.
iamne abiit intro? abiit, operuit fores. 550
di me quidem omnes adiuvant, augent, amant.

ANC. Do you want anything from me?MEN. Say that I will take care of this—
that they be sold for as much as they can fetch, and that whoever bids may bid.
Has she gone inside already? She has: she shut the doors. 550
indeed all the gods help me, prosper me, love me.

sed quid ego cesso, dum datur mi occasio
tempusque, abire ab his locis lenoniis?
propera, Menaechme, fer pedem, confer gradum.
demam hanc coronam atque abiciam ad laevam manum, 555
ut, siquis sequatur, hac me abiisse censeant.

but why do I delay, while occasion and time are given to me
to go away from these brothel-places?
hurry, Menaechmus, carry your foot, bring your step.
I will take off this garland and throw it to the left hand, 555
so that, if anyone follows, they may think I went off this way.

ibo et conveniam servom, si potero, meum,
ut haec, quae bona dant di mihi, ex me sciat.

I will go and meet my servant, if I can, my own,
so that he may know from me these good things which the gods give to me.

ACTVS IV

ACT 4

IV.i

4.1

MATRONE Egone hic me patiar frustra in matrimonio,
ubi vir compilet clanculum quidquid domist 560
atque ea ad amicam deferat? PEN. Quin tu taces?
manufesto faxo iam opprimes: sequere hac modo.

MATRONE Am I to suffer myself here, to no purpose, in matrimony,
where the husband filches stealthily whatever there is at home 560
and carries it to his girlfriend? PEN. Won’t you be quiet?
I’ll make it so you catch him in the very act: just follow this way.

pallam ad phrygionem cum corona ebrius
ferebat, hodie tibi quam surrupuit domo.
sed eccam coronam quam habuit. num mentior? 565
em hac abiit, si vis persequi vestigiis.

He, inebriated, was carrying the mantle to the Phrygian embroiderer along with the crown, which today he surreptitiously stole from your house.
But look, here is the crown he had. Am I lying? 565
Look—he went off this way, if you wish to pursue by his footprints.

atque edepol eccum optume revortitur;
sed pallam non fert. MAT. Quid ego nunc cum illoc agam?
PEN. Idem quod semper: male habeas; sic censeo.

and by Pollux, look, there he comes back excellently;
but he does not carry the palla. MAT. What am I now to do with that fellow?
PEN. The same as always: let him be badly off; so I judge.

huc concedamus: ex insidiis aucupa. 570

let us withdraw hither: hunt from ambush. 570

IV.ii

4.2

MENAECHMVS Vt hoc utimur maxime more moro
molestoque multum, atque uti quique sunt
optumi, maxume morem habent hunc:
clientes sibi omnes volunt esse multos:
bonine an mali sint, id haud quaeritant; 575
res magis quaeritur quam clientum fides
cuius modi clueat.
si est pauper atque haud malus, nequam habetur,
sin dives malust, is cliens frugi habetur.
qui neque leges neque aequom bonum usquam colunt, 580
sollicitos patronos habent.

MENAECHMUS That we most of all employ this custom, silly and very troublesome,
and the better men are, the more they keep this custom:
they all want to have many clients for themselves:
whether they be good or bad, that they do not inquire; 575
the matter is sought more than the clients’ faith, of what sort it is reputed.
if he is poor and not bad, he is held worthless,
but if a rich man is bad, that client is held worthy.
those who honor neither the laws nor the equitable good anywhere, 580
have anxious patrons.

datum denegant quod datum est, litium pleni, rapaces
viri, fraudulenti,
qui aut faenore aut periuriis habent rem paratam,
mens est in quo * 584a
eis ubi dicitur dies, simul patronis dicitur.
[quippe qui pro illis loquimur quae male fecerunt]
aut ad populum aut in iure aut apud aedilem res est.
sicut me hodie nimis sollicitum cliens quidam habuit, neque quod volui
agere aut quicum licitumst, ita med attinuit, ita detinuit.

they deny what has been given as though it were not given, full of lawsuits, rapacious
men, fraudulent,
who have their means made ready either by usury or by perjuries,
the mindset is this *
584a
when a court day is named for them, at the same time it is named for the patrons.
[indeed, we speak on their behalf about the things they have done ill]
the case is either before the people or in law or before the aedile.
just as today a certain client has kept me overly anxious, nor was it permitted for me
to do what I wished or with whom it was lawful, so much did he involve me, so much did he detain me.

apud aediles pro eius factis plurumisque pessumisque 590
dixi causam, condiciones tetuli tortas, confragosas:
aut plus aut minus quam opus fuerat dicto dixeram ~ controversiam, ut
sponsio fieret. quid ille? qui *** praedem dedit.

before the aediles I pled the case for his deeds, very many and very bad 590
I brought forward conditions twisted, craggy:
either more or less than was needful I had said in my speech ~ controversy, so
that a sponsio might be made. What of him? Why, he *** gave a surety.

nec magis manufestum ego hominem umquam ullum teneri vidi:
omnibus male factis testes tres aderant acerrumi.                 595
di illum omnes perdant, ita mihi
hunc hodie corrupit diem,
meque adeo, qui hodie forum
umquam oculis inspexi meis.
diem corrupi optimum:
iussi adparari prandium,
amica exspectat me, scio.
ubi primum est licitum, ilico
properavi abire de foro.                 600
iratast, credo, nunc mihi;
placabit palla quam dedi,
quam hodie uxori abstuli atque huic detuli Erotio.         601a
PEN. Quid ais?

nor have I ever seen any man held more manifestly:
for all the misdeeds three witnesses were present, most keen.                 595
may all the gods destroy him, so much has he
corrupted this day for me,
and me indeed, that today I ever
inspected the forum with my own eyes.
I corrupted a most excellent day:
I ordered luncheon to be prepared,
a girlfriend awaits me, I know.
as soon as it was permitted, straightway
I hastened to go away from the forum.                 600
she is angry, I believe, at me now;
the palla will placate her which I gave,
which today I took away from my wife and delivered to this Erotium.         601a
PEN. What do you say?

MAT. Viro me malo male nuptam. PEN. Satin audis quae illic loquitur?
MAT. Satis.

MAT. Badly wedded to a bad man. PEN. Do you quite hear what he’s saying there?
MAT. Enough.

MEN. Si sapiam, hinc intro abeam, ubi mi bene sit. PEN. Mane; male erit potius.
MAT. Ne illam ecastor faenerato abstulisti.

MEN. If I have any sense, I’ll go inside from here, where it will be well for me
PEN. Wait; rather it will be ill.
MAT. By Castor, you haven’t carried that off to a moneylender, have you?

PEN. Sic datur.
MAT. Clanculum te istaec flagitia facere censebas potis? 605
MEN. Quid illuc est, uxor, negoti? MAT. Men rogas?

PEN. Thus it is granted.
MAT. Did you suppose you were able to do these outrages clandestinely? 605
MEN. What is that business, wife? MAT. Me, are you asking?

MEN. Vin hunc rogem?
MAT. Aufer hinc palpationes. PEN. Perge tu. MEN. Quid tu mihi
tristis es? MAT. Te scire oportet.

MEN. Do you want me to ask him?
MAT. Cut out the flattery. PEN. Proceed, you. MEN. Why are you to me
sullen? MAT. You ought to know.

PEN. Scit, sed dissimulat malus.
ME. Quid negotist? MA. Pallam-- ME. Pallam?

PEN. He knows, but the bad man dissimulates.
ME. What’s the business? MA. The mantle— ME. The mantle?

MA. Quidam pallam-- PEN. Quid paves?
MEN. Nil equidem paveo.

MA. Someone, the palla— PEN. Why are you afraid?
MEN. I, for my part, fear nothing.

PEN. Nisi unum: palla pallorem incutit. 610
at tu ne clam me comesses prandium. perge in virum.
MEN. Non taces?

PEN. Except one thing: the palla instills pallor. 610
but do not, without my knowledge, eat the luncheon. Go on to the man.
MEN. Will you not be silent?

PEN. Non hercle vero taceo. nutat, ne loquar.
MEN. Non hercle ego quidem usquam quicquam nuto neque nicto tibi.

PEN. By Hercules, truly I am not silent. He nods, that I not speak.
MEN. By Hercules, I for my part do not at all nod anywhere about anything, nor do I wink at you.

MA. Ne ego mecastor mulier misera. ME. Qui tu misera es? mi expedi.
PEN. Nihil hoc confidentius, qui quae vides ea pernegat. 615
MEN. Per Iovem deosque omnis adiuro, uxor, (satin hoc est tibi?)
me isti non nutasse.

MA. By Castor, indeed I am a wretched woman. ME. How are you wretched? Explain to me.
PEN. Nothing more confident than this one, who outright denies what you see. 615
MEN. By Jove and all the gods I swear, wife, (is that enough for you?)
that I did not nod to that fellow.

PEN. Credit iam tibi de isto: illuc redi.
MEN. Quo ego redeam? PEN. Equidem ad phrygionem censeo.

PEN. He now credits you about that: return there.
MEN. Where am I to return? PEN. I, for my part, consider—to the embroiderer.

ei, pallam refer.
MEN. Quae istaec palla est? PEN. Taceo iam, quando haec rem non meminit suam.

hey, bring back the mantle.
MEN. What mantle is that? PEN. I’ll be silent now, since this woman does not remember her own property.

* * * 619a

MEN. Numquis servorum deliquit? num ancillae aut servi tibi
responsant? eloquere.

MEN. Has any of the slaves committed a delinquency? Do the maidservants or the slaves to you
answer back? Speak out.

impune non erit. MAT. Nugas agis.
MEN. Tristis admodum es. non mi istuc satis placet.

It will not go unpunished. MAT. You trifle.
MEN. You are very sad. That does not quite please me.

MAT. Nugas agis.
MEN. Certe familiarium aliquoi irata es. MAT. Nugas agis.
MEN. Num mihi es irata saltem?

MAT. You talk nonsense.
MEN. Surely you are angry with some member of the household. MAT. You talk nonsense.
MEN. Are you angry with me at least?

MAT. Nunc tu non nugas agis.
MEN. Non edepol deliqui quicquam. MAT. Em rursum nunc nugas agis. 625
MEN. Dic, mea uxor, quid tibi aegre est?

MAT. Now you are not talking nonsense.
MEN. By Pollux, I have done nothing wrong. MAT. There—again now you’re talking nonsense. 625
MEN. Tell me, my wife, what ails you?

PEN. Bellus blanditur tibi.
MEN. Potin ut mihi molestus ne sis? num te appello?

PEN. A handsome fellow is blandishing you.
MEN. Could you not be troublesome to me? Am I addressing you?

MAT. Aufer manum.
PEN. Sic datur. properato absente me comesse prandium,
post ante aedis cum corona me derideto ebrius.

MAT. Remove your hand.
PEN. So it is given. In haste, with me absent, gobble down the luncheon,
afterwards before the house, with a garland, mock me, drunk.

MEN. Neque edepol ego prandi neque hodie huc intro tetuli pedem. 630
PEN. Tun negas? MEN. Nego hercle vero. PEN. Nihil hoc homine audacius.

MEN. By Pollux, I have neither lunched nor today set foot in here. 630
PEN. Do you deny it? MEN. I deny it, by Hercules, indeed. PEN. Nothing more audacious than this man.

non ego te modo hic ante aedis cum corona florea
vidi astare? quom negabas mi esse sanum sinciput,
et negabas me novisse, peregrinum aibas esse te?
MEN. Quin ut dudum divorti abs te, redeo nunc demum domum. 635
PEN. Novi ego te. non mihi censebas esse, qui te ulciscerer.
omnia hercle uxori dixi.

Did I not just now see you here before the house with a floral crown standing by?
when you were denying that my skull was sane, and you were denying that I knew you, you said you were a foreigner?
MEN. Why, from the moment I parted from you a short while ago, only now at last am I returning home. 635
PEN. I know you. You did not suppose I was the sort to avenge myself on you.
By Hercules, I told everything to my wife.

MEN. Quid dixisti? PEN. Nescio,
eam ipsus roga. MEN. Quid hoc est, uxor?

MEN. What did you say? PEN. I don’t know,
ask her yourself. MEN. What is this, wife?

quidnam hic narravit tibi?
quid id est? quid taces?

What did he narrate to you?
What is it? Why are you silent?

quin dicis quid sit? MAT. Quasi tu nescias.

why don't you say what it is? MAT. as though you
did not know.

* * *
[palla mi est domo surrepta. MEN. Palla surrepta est tibi?] 639a
MAT. Me rogas? MEN. Pol haud rogem te, si sciam.

* * *
[My mantle has been stolen from my house. MEN. Has your mantle been stolen?] 639a
MAT. You ask me? MEN. By Pollux, I would not ask you, if I knew.

PEN. O hominem malum,
ut dissimulat. non potes celare: rem novit probe.
omnia hercle ego edictavi.

PEN.
O wicked man,
how he dissimulates. You cannot conceal it: he knows the matter thoroughly.
by Hercules, I dictated everything.

MEN. Quid id est? MAT. Quando nil pudet
neque vis tua voluntate ipse profiteri, audi atque ades.
et quid tristis <sim> et quid hic mihi dixerit, faxo scias.

MEN. What is that? MAT. Since
nothing shames you, and you do not wish of your own will to profess it yourself, listen and attend.
and why I am sad, and what this fellow has said to me, I will make sure you know.

palla mi est domo surrupta. MEN. Palla surruptast mihi? 645
PEN. Viden ut <te> scelestus captat? huic surruptast, non tibi.

A palla has been surreptitiously stolen from my house. MEN. Has a palla been surreptitiously stolen from me? 645
PEN. Do you see how the scoundrel is trying to ensnare <you>? From this man it was stolen, not from you.

nam profecto tibi surrupta si esset -- salva non foret.
MEN. Nil mihi tecum est. sed tu quid ais?

for assuredly, if it had been stolen from you — it would not be safe.
MEN. I have nothing to do with you. But you, what do you say?

MAT. Palla, inquam, periit domo.
MEN. Quis eam surrupuit? MAT. Pol istuc ille scit qui illam abstulit.

MAT. The cloak, I say, has perished from the house.
MEN. Who surreptitiously stole it? MAT. By Pollux, he knows that, the one who carried it off.

MEN. Quis is homo est? MAT. Menaechmus quidam. MEN. Edepol factum nequiter. 650
quis is Menaechmust?

MEN. Who is that man? MAT. A certain Menaechmus. MEN. By Pollux, the deed was iniquitously done. 650
who is that Menaechmus?

MAT. Tu istic, inquam. MEN. Egone? MAT. Tu. MEN.Quis arguit?

MAT. You there, I say. MEN. Me? MAT. You. MEN.Who accuses?

MAT. Egomet. PEN. Et ego. atque huic amicae detulisti Erotio.

MAT. I myself. PEN. And I. and you have brought to this girlfriend Erotium.

MEN. Egon dedi? MAT. Tu, tu istic, inquam. vin adferri noctuam,
quae 'tu tu' usque dicat tibi?

MEN. Did I give it? MAT. You—you there, I say. Do you want an owl to be brought,
which will keep saying “you, you” to you?

nam nos iam defessi sumus.
[MEN. Per Iovem deosque omnis adiuro, uxor (satin hoc est tibi?) 655
non dedisse. MAT. Immo hercle vero, nos non falsum dicere.]
MEN. Sed ego illam non condonavi, sed sic utendam dedi.

for we are now worn out.
[MEN. By Jove and all the gods I swear, wife (is this enough for you?) 655
that I did not give it. MAT. Nay, by Hercules indeed, that we are not speaking what is false.]
MEN. But I did not bestow her as a gift, but gave her thus to be used.

MAT. Equidem ecastor tuam nec chlamydem do foras nec pallium
cuiquam utendum. mulierem aequom est vestimentum muliebre
dare foras, virum virile. quin refers pallam domum? 660
MEN. Ego faxo referetur.

MAT. Indeed, by Castor, I neither give your chlamys out nor your pallium to anyone for use. It is fair that a woman give out a womanly garment, a man a manly one. Why don’t you bring the palla home? 660
MEN. I’ll make sure it is brought back.

MAT. Ex re tua, ut opinor, feceris;
nam domum numquam introibis, nisi feres pallam simul.
eo domum. PEN. Quid mihi futurum est, qui tibi hanc operam dedi?

MAT. For your interest, as I opine, you will have done;
for you will never enter the house unless you bring the palla along as well. I go home. PEN. What will become of me, who have given you this service?

MAT. Opera reddetur, quando quid tibi erit surruptum domo.
PEN. Id quidem edepol numquam erit, nam nihil est quod perdam domi. 665
cum viro cum uxore di vos perdant. properabo ad forum,
nam ex hac familia me plane excidisse intellego.

MAT. The service will be rendered, when something shall have been surreptitiously stolen from your house.
PEN. Indeed, by Pollux, that will never be, for there is nothing at home that I can lose. 665
Husband and wife alike, may the gods destroy you. I’ll hurry to the forum,
for I clearly understand that I have been clean cut out of this household.

MEN. Male mi uxor sese fecisse censet, quom exclusit foras;
quasi non habeam, quo intromittar, alium meliorem locum.
si tibi displiceo, patiundum: at placuero huic Erotio, 670
quae me non excludet ab se, sed apud se occludet domi.
nunc ibo, orabo ut mihi pallam reddat, quam dudum dedi;
aliam illi redimam meliorem.

MEN. My wife thinks she has done ill to me, when she shut me out of doors;
as if I did not have another, better place into which I might be admitted.
if I displease you, it must be borne: but I shall please this Erotium, 670
who will not shut me out from herself, but will shut me in with her at home.
now I will go, I will beg that she return to me the palla which I lately gave;
I will buy her another, a better one.

heus, ecquis hic est ianitor?
aperite atque Erotium aliquis evocate ante ostium.

Hey, is there any janitor here?
Open up, and someone summon Erotium out to the door.

IV.iii

4.3

EROTIVM Quis hic me quaerit? MEN. Sibi inimicus magis quam aetati tuae. 675
ER. Mi Menaechme, cur ante aedis astas? sequere intro.

EROTIVM Who is seeking me here? MEN. An enemy to himself rather than to your age. 675
ER. My Menaechmus, why do you stand before the house? Follow inside.

MEN. Mane.
scin quid est quod ego ad te venio? ER. Scio, ut tibi ex me sit volup.

MEN. Wait.
Do you know what it is that I come to you for? ER. I know, that you may have pleasure from me.

MEN. Immo edepol pallam illam, amabo te, quam tibi dudum dedi,
mihi eam redde. uxor rescivit rem omnem, ut factum est, ordine.
ego tibi redimam bis tanto pluris pallam, quam voles. 680
ER. Tibi dedi equidem illam, ad phrygionem ut ferres, paulo prius,
et illud spinter, ut ad aurificem ferres, ut fieret novom.

MEN. Nay, by Pollux, that mantle, please, which I gave you a little while ago, give it back to me. My wife has found out the whole affair, just as it happened, in order. I will buy you a mantle twice as costly, whichever you like. 680
ER. I did give that to you, for you to take it to the embroiderer, a little before,
and that bracelet, for you to take it to the goldsmith, so that it might be made new.

MEN. Mihi tu ut dederis pallam et spinter? numquam factum reperies.
nam ego quidem postquam illam dudum tibi dedi atque abii ad forum,
nunc redeo, nunc te postillac video.

MEN. That you gave me the palla and the bracelet? You will never find that to have happened.
For I indeed, after I a while ago gave that to you and went away to the forum,
now I return, now I see you after that.

ER. Video quam rem agis. 685
quia commisi, ut me defrudes, ad eam rem adfectas viam.
MEN. Neque edepol te defrudandi causa posco (quin tibi
dico uxorem rescivisse) --ER. Nec te ultro oravi ut dares:
tute ultro ad me detulisti, dedisti eam dono mihi;
eandem nunc reposcis: patiar. tibi habe, aufer, utere 690
vel tu vel tua uxor, vel etiam in loculos compingite.

ER. I see what business you are driving at. 685
since I have committed a fault, you are angling for a way to defraud me in that matter.
MEN. By Pollux, I do not ask it for the sake of defrauding you (indeed I
tell you my wife has found out) — ER. Nor did I of my own accord beg you to give:
you yourself of your own accord brought it to me, you gave it to me as a gift;
the same thing you now demand back: I will put up with it. Keep it for yourself, take it away, use it 690
either you or your wife, or even box it up into little chests.

tu huc post hunc diem pedem intro non feres, ne frustra sis;
quando tu me bene merentem tibi habes despicatui,
nisi feres argentum, frustra me ductare non potes.
aliam posthac invenito quam habeas frustratui. 695
MEN. Nimis iracunde hercle tandem. heus tu, tibi dico, mane,
redi.

you will not set foot in here after this day, lest you be here in vain;
since you hold me, who have well deserved of you, in contempt,
unless you bring silver, you cannot lead me about and frustrate me.
after this, find another whom you may have for frustration. 695
MEN. Too irately, by Hercules, at last. Hey you, I’m talking to you—wait,
come back.

etiamne astas? etiam audes mea revorti gratia?
abiit intro, occlusit aedis.

Are you still standing here? Do you even dare to return for my sake?
He went inside, he locked the house.

nunc ego sum exclusissimus:
neque domi neque apud amicam mihi iam quicquam creditur.
ibo et consulam hanc rem amicos, quid faciendum censeant. 700

now I am most completely shut out:
neither at home nor with my girlfriend is any credit now given to me.
I will go and consult friends about this matter, what they deem must be done. 700

ACTVS V

ACT 5

V.i

5.1

MENAECHMVS Nimis stulte dudum feci, quom marsuppium
Messenioni cum argento concredidi.
immersit aliquo sese, credo, in ganeum.
Provisam quam mox vir meus redeat domum.

MENAECHMVS Too foolishly I acted a little while ago, when I entrusted the purse to Messenio with the silver.
he has immersed himself somewhere, I believe, in an eating-house.
I’ll see to it as soon as my man returns home.

sed eccum video. salva sum, pallam refert. 705
MEN. Demiror ubi nunc ambulet Messenio.
MAT. Adibo atque hominem accipiam quibus dictis meret.

but look, here I see him. I am safe; he brings back the mantle. 705
MEN. I marvel where now Messenio ambles.
MAT. I will go up and receive the man with such words as he deserves.

non te pudet prodire in conspectum meum,
flagitium hominis, cum istoc ornatu? MEN. Quid est?
quae te res agitat, mulier?

Are you not ashamed to come forth into my sight,
you disgrace of a man, with that attire? MEN. What is it?
what thing agitates you, woman?

MAT. Etiamne, impudens, 710
muttire verbum unum audes aut mecum loqui?
MEN. Quid tandem admisi in me, ut loqui non audeam?
MAT. Rogas me? <o> hominis impudentem audaciam!

MAT. Even now, shameless one, 710
do you dare to mutter a single word or speak with me?
MEN. What, pray, have I done, that I must not dare to speak?
MAT. You ask me? <o> the shameless audacity of the man!

MEN. Non tu scis, mulier, Hecubam quapropter canem
Graii esse praedicabant? MAT. Non equidem scio. 715
MEN. Quia idem faciebat Hecuba quod tu nunc facis:
omnia mala ingerebat, quemquem aspexerat.
itaque adeo iure coepta appellari est canes.

MEN. Do you not know, woman, why the Greeks used to proclaim Hecuba to be a dog?
MAT. Indeed, I do not know. 715
MEN. Because Hecuba was doing the same thing that you are doing now:
she was heaping every evil upon whomever she saw.
and so, quite rightly, she began to be called a dog.

MAT. Non ego istaec <tua> flagitia possum perpeti.
nam med aetatem viduam esse mavelim, 720
quam istaec flagitia tua pati quae tu facis.
MEN. Quid id ad me, tu te nuptam possis perpeti
an sis abitura a tuo viro?

MAT. I cannot endure those <your> flagitious deeds of yours.
for I would rather be a widow for my lifetime, 720
than to suffer those flagitious deeds of yours which you do.
MEN. What is that to me, whether you can endure yourself as a married woman,
or are you going to depart from your husband?

an mos hic ita est,
peregrino ut advenienti narrent fabulas?
MAT. Quas fabulas? non, inquam, patiar praeterhac, 725
quin vidua vivam quam tuos mores perferam.

or is the custom here thus,
that they tell fables to a foreigner who arrives?
MAT. What fables? No, I say, I will not endure hereafter, 725
nay, I will live as a widow rather than bear your ways.

MEN. Mea quidem hercle causa vidua vivito,
vel usque dum regnum optinebit Iuppiter.
MAT. At mihi negabas dudum surrupuisse te,
nunc eandem ante oculos attines: non te pudet? 730
MEN. Eu hercle, mulier, multum et audax et mala es.
tun tibi hanc surreptam dicere audes, quam mihi
dedit alia mulier ut concinnandam darem?
MAT. Ne istuc mecastor -- siam patrem accersam meum
atque ei narrabo tua flagitia quae facis. 735
ei, ~ Deceo, quaere meum patrem, tecum simul
ut veniat ad me: ita rem esse dicito.

MEN. By Hercules, as far as concerns me, live as a widow,
or even as long as Jupiter will hold the kingdom.
MAT. But a moment ago you were denying to me that you had surreptitiously snatched it,
now you hold the same thing before my eyes: are you not ashamed? 730
MEN. By Hercules, woman, you are very bold and wicked.
Do you dare to say this is stolen, this which another woman
gave to me, that I might hand it over to be put in order?
MAT. By Castor— I will— I will summon my father,
and to him I will tell the flagitious acts that you do. 735
Hey, ~ Deceo, look for my father, so that together with you
he may come to me: say that the matter is thus.

iam ego aperiam istaec tua flagitia. MEN. Sanan es?
quae mea flagitia? MAT. Pallam atque aurum meum
domo suppilas tuae uxori et tuae 740
degeris amicae.

Now I will expose these flagitious deeds of yours. MEN. Are you sane?
What are my flagitious deeds? MAT. My mantle and my gold
you pilfer from the house, and to your wife and to your 740
mistress you carry them.

satin haec recte fabulor?
MEN. Quaeso hercle, mulier, si scis, monstra quod bibam,
tuam qui possim perpeti petulantiam.
quem tu hominem<esse me> arbitrere, nescio;
ego te simitu novi cum Porthaone. 745
MAT. Si me derides, at pol illum non potes,
patrem meum, qui huc advenit.

Am I telling this all right?
MEN. By Hercules, woman, I beg you, if you know, show me what I should drink,
by which I can endure your petulance.
what sort of man you think I am, I do not know;
I know you as much as I know Porthaon. 745
MAT. If you mock me, by Pollux, at least him you cannot—
my father, who has come here.

quin respicis?
novistin tu illum? MEN. Novi cum Calcha simul:
eodem die illum vidi quo te ante hunc diem.

Why don’t you look back?
Do you know him? MEN. I know him together with Calchas:
on the same day I saw him as I saw you before this day.

MAT. Negas novisse me? negas patrem meum? 750
MEN. Idem hercle dicam, si avom vis adducere.
MAT. Ecastor pariter hoc atque alias res soles.

MAT. Do you deny knowing me? do you deny my father? 750
MEN. By Hercules, I’ll say the same, if you wish to bring your grandfather.
MAT. By Castor, you are wont to do this equally as other things.

V.ii

5.2

SENEX Vt aetas mea est atque ut hoc usus facto est
gradum proferam, progrediri properabo.
sed id quam mihi facile sit, haud sum falsus. 755
nam pernicitas deserit: consitus sum
senectute, onustum gero corpus, vires
reliquere: ut aetas mala est; mers mala ergost.
nam res plurumas pessumas, quom advenit, fert:
quas si autumem omnis, nimis longus sermost. 760
sed haec res mihi in pectore et corde curaest,
quidnam hoc sit negoti, quod filia sic
repente expetit me, ut ad sese irem.

OLD MAN As my age is, and as practice has made this deed to be,
I will put forth a step; I will hasten to go forward.
but how easy that is for me, I am not mistaken. 755
for nimbleness deserts me: I am sown over
with old age, I carry a burdened body, my forces
have left me: how bad an age is; death is bad accordingly.
for when it arrives, it brings very many very bad things:
which, if I were to affirm them all, the discourse would be too long. 760
but this matter is a care to me in breast and in heart,
what business this may be, that my daughter thus
suddenly demands me, that I should go to her.

nec, quid id sit, mihi certius facit, quid 763a
velit, quid me accersat.
verum propemodum iam scio, quid siet rei. 764a
credo cum viro litigium natum esse aliquod.
ita istaec solent, quae viros subservire
sibi postulant, dote fretae, feroces.

nor does she make it more certain to me what that is, what 763a
she wants, why she summons me.
but pretty much now I know what the matter is. 764a
I believe some litigation has arisen with her husband.
so such women are wont, who demand that husbands subserve
themselves, relying on a dowry, ferocious.

et illi quoque haud abstinent saepe culpa.
verum est modus tamen, quoad pati uxorem oportet;
nec pol filia umquam patrem accersit ad se, 770
nisi aut quid commissi aut iurgi est <iusta> causa.
sed id quidquid est, iam sciam.

and they too do not often abstain from fault.
but there is a measure, however, how far it is proper to suffer a wife;
nor, by Pollux, does a daughter ever summon her father to herself, 770
unless either some offense has been committed or there is a quarrel’s <just> cause.
but whatever that is, I shall now know.

atque eccam eampse
ante aedis et eius virum tristem video.
id est quod suspicabar.
appellabo hanc.

and look, there she herself is;
before the house I see her and her husband gloomy.
that is what I suspected.
I will address her.

MAT. Ibo advorsum. salve multum, mi pater. 775
SEN. Salva sis. salven advenio?

MAT. I will go to meet you. Many greetings, my father. 775
SEN. May you be safe. Do I arrive welcome?

salven accersi iubes?
quid tu tristis es? quid ille autem abs te iratus destitit?
nescio quid vos velitati estis inter vos duos.

Do you bid that she be summoned in safe?
Why are you sad? But why did he, however, desist from being angry with you?
I do not know what skirmishing you two have had between you two.

loquere, uter meruistis culpam? paucis, non longos logos.
MAT. Nusquam equidem quicquam deliqui: hoc primum te absolvo, pater. 780
verum vivere hic non possum neque durare ullo modo.

speak, which of you have deserved blame? in few words, not long logoi.
MAT. Nowhere indeed have I committed any delinquency: this first I absolve you of, father. 780
but I cannot live here, nor endure in any way.

proin tu me hinc abducas. SEN. Quid istuc autem est? MAT. Ludibrio, pater,
habeor.

so then take me away from here. SEN. What is that, then? MAT. A laughing-stock, father,
I am held.

SEN. Vnde? MAT. Ab illo, quoi me mandavisti, meo viro.
SEN. Ecce autem litigium.

SEN. Whence? MAT. From that man, to whom you commended me, my husband.
SEN. Behold then, litigation.

quotiens tandem edixi tibi,
ut caveres, neuter ad me iretis cum querimonia? 785
MAT. Qui ego istuc, mi pater, cavere possum? SEN. Men interrogas?

How many times, pray, have I laid it down for you,
that you beware, that neither of you come to me with a querimony? 785
MAT. How can I, my father, beware of that? SEN. Me are you asking?

MAT. Nisi non vis. SEN. Quotiens monstravi tibi, viro ut morem geras, 787-788
quid ille faciat, ne id observes, quo eat, quid rerum gerat. 789
MAT. At enim ille hinc amat meretricem ex proxumo. SEN. Sane sapit,
atque ob istanc industriam etiam faxo amabit amplius.

MAT. Unless you do not wish it. SEN. How many times have I shown you, that you should defer to your husband, 787-788
not observe what he does, where he goes, what affairs he conducts. 789
MAT. But indeed he loves a courtesan from right next door. SEN. He truly is wise,
and on account of that industriousness I’ll even make sure he loves her more.

MAT. Atque ibi potat. SEN. Tua quidem ille causa potabit minus,
si illic sive alibi libebit? quae haec, malum, impudentiast?

MAT. And there he drinks. SEN. On your account will he indeed drink less,
if it pleases him there or elsewhere? What, the deuce, is this impudence?

una opera prohibere, ad cenam ne promittat, postules,
neve quemquam accipiat alienum apud se. serviren tibi 795
postulas viros? dare una opera pensum postules,
inter ancillas sedere iubeas, lanam carere.
MAT. Non equidem mihi te advocatum, pater, adduxi, sed viro.

with one and the same effort you demand to forbid that he promise himself to dinner,
and that he receive no one alien at his house. to serve you 795
do you demand men? with one and the same effort you demand to assign a pensum,
you would order them to sit among maidservants, to card wool.
MAT. Indeed I did not bring you as an advocate for me, father, but for my husband.

hinc stas, illim causam dicis. SEN. Si ille quid deliquerit,
multo tanto illum accusabo, quam te accusavi, amplius. 800
quando te auratam et vestitam bene habet, ancillas penum
recte praehibet, melius sanam est, mulier, mentem sumere.
MAT. At ille suppilat mihi aurum et pallas ex arcis domo,
me despoliat, mea ornamenta clam ad meretrices degerit.

from here you stand; from there you plead your case. SEN. If he has done any wrong,
I will accuse him far—much—more than I accused you, and further. 800
since he keeps you gold-adorned and well clothed, provides the maidservants and the
pantry properly, it is better, woman, to take up a sound mind.
MAT. But he pilfers my gold and mantles from the house’s strongroom,
he despoils me, he secretly carries my ornaments to prostitutes.

SEN. Male facit, si istuc facit; si non facit, tu male facis, 805
quae insontem insimules. MAT. Quin etiam nunc habet pallam, pater,
<et>spinter, quod ad hanc detulerat, nunc, quia rescivi, refert.
SEN. Iam ego ex hoc, ut factumst, scibo.

SEN. He does wrong, if he does that; if he does not do it, you do wrong, 805
you who accuse an innocent man. MAT. Why, even now he has the mantle,
father,
<and>bracelet, which he had carried to this woman; now, because I have found it out, he brings it back.
SEN. Now I will find out from this how it was done.

<ibo>ad hominem atque adloquar.
dic mi istuc, Menaechme, quod vos dissertatis, ut sciam.
quid tu tristis es? quid illa autem irata abs te destitit? 810
MEN. Quisquis es, quidquid tibi nomen est, senex, summum Iovem
deosque do testes -- SEN. Qua de re aut cuius rei rerum omnium?

<I will go> to the man and address him.
tell me this, Menaechmus, what you are discoursing about, so that I may know.
why are you sad? why did that woman, however, angry, withdraw from you? 810
MEN. Whoever you are, whatever your name is, old man, I call highest Jove
and the gods as witnesses — SEN. About what matter, or of which thing of all things?

MEN. Me neque isti male fecisse mulieri, quae me arguit
hanc domo ab se surrupuisse atque abstulisse *** deierat.
si ego intra aedis huius umquam, ubi habitat, penetravi <pedem>,     815-816
omnium hominum exopto ut fiam miserorum miserrimus.     817
SEN. Sanun es, qui istuc exoptes aut neges te umquam pedem
in eas aedis intulisse ubi habitas, insanissime?
MEN. Tun, senex, ais habitare med in illisce aedibus?     820
SEN. Tun negas?

MEN. I did no wrong to that woman there, who accuses me
that I filched this from her house and carried it off — she perjures herself.
if I ever penetrated within the house of this woman, where she dwells, I set <foot>,     815-816
of all men I pray that I may become the most wretched of the wretched.     817
SEN. Are you sane, that you wish that, or deny that you ever set a foot
into that house where you live, most insane man?
MEN. Do you, old man, say that I live in that house there?     820
SEN. Do you deny it?

MEN. Nego hercle vero. SEN. Immo hercle ~ludere negas;
nisi quo nocte hac exmigrastis. concede huc, <mia>filia.

MEN. I deny it, by Hercules, indeed. SEN. Nay rather, by Hercules—you deny you’re playing tricks;
unless you moved out somewhere this night. come here, <my> daughter.

quid tu ais? num hinc exmigrastis? MAT. Quem in locum aut <quam>ob rem, obsecro?

What do you say? Have you moved out from here? MAT. Into what place or for what reason, I beg?

SEN. Non edepol scio. MAT. Profecto ludit te hic. non tu tenes?

SEN. By Pollux, I do not know. MAT. Surely this fellow is playing you; do you not grasp it?

SEN. Iam vero, Menaechme, satis iocatu's. nunc hanc rem gere. 825
MEN. Quaeso, quid mihi tecum est? unde aut quis tu homo es? * **
~ tibi aut adeo isti, quae mihi molesta est quoquo modo?
MAT. Viden tu illi oculos virere?

SEN. Now indeed, Menaechmus, you’ve jested enough. Now do this business. 825
MEN. Please, what business have I with you? From where, or who are you, man? * **
~ to you, or even to her there, who is troublesome to me in every way?
MAT. Do you see his eyes going green?

ut viridis exoritur colos
ex temporibus atque fronte, ut oculi scintillant, vide. 829-830
MEN. Quid mihi meliust, quam quando illi me insanire praedicant, 831
ego med adsimulem insanire, ut illos a me absterream?
MAT. Vt pandiculans oscitatur. quid nunc faciam, mi pater?

how a green color arises
from his temples and forehead, how his eyes scintillate, see. 829-830
MEN. What is better for me than, since they proclaim me to be insane, 831
that I myself simulate being insane, so that I drive them off from me?
MAT. How, stretching, he yawns. What am I to do now, my father?

SEN. Concede huc, mea nata, ab istoc quam potest longissime.
MEN. Euhoe Bacche, Bromie, quo me in silvam venatum vocas? 835
audio, sed non abire possum ab his regionibus,
ita illa me ab laeva rabiosa femina adservat canis,
poste autem illinc hircus ~ alus, qui saepe aetate in sua
perdidit civem innocentem falso testimonio.
SEN. Vae capiti tuo.

SEN. Withdraw here, my daughter, as far as ever possible from that man.
MEN. Evoe, Bacchus, Bromius, where do you call me into the forest to hunt? 835
I hear, but I cannot depart from these regions,
so that rabid she-dog of a woman keeps watch over me on the left,
but behind there a tribunal he-goat, who often in his own lifetime
ruined an innocent citizen by false testimony.
SEN. Woe to your head.

MEN. Ecce, Apollo mi ex oraclo imperat, 840
ut ego illi oculos exuram lampadibus ardentibus.
MAT. Perii, mi pater, minatur mihi oculos exurere.
[MEN. Ei mihi, insanire me aiunt, ultro cum ipsi insaniunt.]
SEN. Filia, heus.

MEN. Behold, Apollo from his oracle orders me, 840
that I burn out her eyes with blazing torches.
MAT. I am undone, my father; he threatens to burn my eyes out.
[MEN. Ah me, they say that I am insane, when they themselves are mad into the bargain.]
SEN. Daughter, hey.

MAT. Quid est? quid agimus? SEN. Quid si ego huc servos cito?

MAT. What is it? what are we to do? SEN.
What if I summon the slaves here?

ibo, abducam qui hunc hinc tollant et domi devinciant, 845
prius quam turbarum quid faciat amplius. MEN. Enim haereo;
ni occupo aliquid mihi consilium, hi domum me ad se auferent.
pugnis me votas in huius ore quicquam parcere,
ni a meis oculis abscedat in malam magnam crucem.

I will go, I will fetch those to abduct this fellow from here and to bind him at home, 845
before he does anything further in the way of disturbances. MEN. Indeed, I am stuck;
unless I seize some plan for myself, these will carry me off home to their place.
With my fists, do you bid me spare anything on this fellow’s face,
unless he removes himself from before my eyes—to a great bad cross.

faciam quod iubes, Apollo. SEN. Fuge domum, quantum potest, 850
ne hic te obtundat. MAT. Fugio.

I will do what you bid, Apollo. SEN. Run home, as fast as you can, 850
lest this man batter you. MAT. I flee.

amabo, adserva istunc, mi pater,
ne quo hinc abeat. sumne ego mulier misera, quae illaec audio?
MEN. Haud male, <Apollo>illanc amovi; nunc hunc impurissimum,
barbatum, tremulum Tithonum, qui cluet Cygno patre,
ita mihi imperas ut ego huius membra atque ossa atque artua 855
comminuam illo scipione quem ipse habet.

please, keep that one under guard, my father,
lest he go anywhere from here. Am I a wretched woman, to hear these things?
MEN. Not badly, <Apollo>I have removed that woman; now this most impure fellow,
a bearded, trembling Tithonus, who is reputed to have the Swan for a father,
you so command me that I should smash this man’s limbs and bones and joints 855
with that staff which he himself has.

SEN. Dabitur malum,
me quidem si attigeris aut si propius ad me accesseris.
MEN. Faciam quod iubes; securim capiam ancipitem, atque hunc senem
osse fini dedolabo assulatim viscera.
SEN. Enim vero illud praecavendumst, atque adcurandumst mihi; 860
sane ego illum metuo, ut minatur, ne quid male faxit mihi.

SEN. A penalty will be given, if you so much as touch me, or if you come nearer to me.
MEN. I shall do what you order; I shall take a two-edged axe, and this old man
I will whittle down to the bone, his viscera into splinters.
SEN. Indeed, that must be guarded against, and must be carefully seen to by me; 860
truly I fear that fellow, as he threatens, lest he do me any harm.

MEN. Multa mi imperas, Apollo: nunc equos iunctos iubes
capere me indomitos, ferocis, atque in currum inscendere,
ut ego hunc proteram leonem vetulum, olentem, edentulum.
iam adstiti in currum, iam lora teneo, iam stimulus in manust. 865
agite equi, facitote sonitus ungularum appareat,
cursu celeri facite inflexa sit pedum pernicitas.
SEN. Mihin equis iunctis minare?

MEN. Many things you command me, Apollo: now you bid me seize yoked horses,
untamed, fierce, and to mount into the chariot,
so that I may run down this aged lion, stinking, toothless.
now I have taken my stand in the chariot, now I hold the reins, now the goad is in hand. 865
on, horses, see to it the clatter of hooves appear,
with swift course make the fleetness of feet be flexed.
SEN. Do you threaten me with yoked horses?

MEN. Ecce, Apollo, denuo
me iubes facere impetum in eum qui stat atque occidere.
sed quis hic est qui me capillo hinc de curru deripit? 870
imperium tuom demutat atque edictum Apollinis.
SEN. Eu hercle morbum acrem ac durum *** di vostram fidem.

MEN. Look, Apollo, anew
you bid me to make an assault upon him who stands and to kill him.
but who is this who by the hair drags me down from the chariot here? 870
he alters your imperium and the edict of Apollo.
SEN. Ah, by Hercules, a sharp and hard malady *** gods, by your good faith.

vel hic qui insanit, quam valuit paulo prius;
ei derepente tantus morbus incidit.
ibo atque accersam medicum iam quantum potest. 875

even this man who is raving, how well he was a little earlier;
upon him, all of a sudden, so great an illness has fallen.
I will go and summon a medic now as quickly as possible. 875

V.iii

5.3

MEN. Iamne isti abierunt, quaeso, ex conspectu meo,
qui me vi cogunt, ut validus insaniam?
quid cesso abire ad navem, dum salvo licet?
vosque omnis quaeso, si senex revenerit, 879-880
ne me indicetis qua platea hinc aufugerim. 881
SENEX Lumbi sedendo, oculi spectando dolent,
manendo medicum, dum se ex opere recipiat.

MEN. Have those people now gone away, please, from my sight,
who by force compel me, that, though sound, I go insane?
why do I delay to go to the ship, while it is permitted me safely?
and you all, I beg, if the old man returns, 879-880
do not betray me as to which street I have fled from here. 881
SENEX The loins by sitting, the eyes by spectating do ache,
by waiting for the physician, until he recovers himself from his work.

odiosus tandem vix ab aegrotis venit.
ait se obligasse crus fractum Aesculapio, 885
Apollini autem brachium. nunc cogito,
utrum me dicam ducere medicum an fabrum.

odious at last has scarcely come from the sick.
he says he has bound up a broken leg for Aesculapius, 885
but an arm for Apollo. now I am thinking
whether I should say that I am leading a doctor or a craftsman.

atque eccum incedit. move formicinum gradum.

and look, here he comes. move an ant-like step.

V.iv

5.4

MEDICVS quid esse illi morbi, dixeras? narra, senex.
num laruatust aut cerritus?

PHYSICIAN what did you say his disease was? tell, old man.
is he bewitched or crazed?

fac sciam. 890
num eum veternus aut aqua intercus tenet?
SEN. Quin ea te causa duco, ut id dicas mihi
atque illum ut sanum facias. MED. Perfacile id quidemst.

let me know. 890
Is he held by lethargy or by dropsy?
SEN. Indeed, for that reason I bring you, that you may tell me this,
and that you may make him sound. MED. That indeed is very easy.

sanum futurum, mea ego id promitto fide.
SEN. Magna cum cura ego illum curari volo. 895
MED. Quin suspirabo plus sescenta in die:
ita ego eum cum cura magna curabo tibi.
SEN. Atque eccum ipsum hominem.

He will be healthy; I promise that on my own faith.
SEN. I want him to be treated with great care. 895
MED. Why, I’ll sigh more than six hundred times in a day:
thus I will tend him for you with great care.
SEN. And look, here is the man himself.

observemus, quam rem agat.

let us observe, what business he is about.

V.v

5.5

MENAECHMVS Edepol ne hic dies pervorsus atque advorsus mi optigit.
quae me clam ratus sum facere, ea omnia fecit palam 900
parasitus, qui me complevit flagiti et formidinis,
meus Vlixes, suo qui regi tantum concivit mali.
quem ego hominem, siquidem vivo, vita evolvam sua
sed ego stultus sum, qui illius esse dico, quae meast:
meo cibo et sumptu educatust.

MENAECHMUS By Pollux, indeed, this day has befallen me perverse and adverse.
What I thought I was doing clandestinely, all that the parasite made public, 900
the parasite who has filled me with scandal and fear,
my Ulysses, who stirred up so much evil for his own king.
That fellow, if indeed I live, I will tear his life away from him;
but I am a fool, I who say to be his that which is mine:
he has been reared on my food and expense.

anima privabo virum. 905
condigne autem haec meretrix fecit, ut mos est meretricius:
quia rogo, palla ut referatur rursum ad uxorem meam,
mihi se ait dedisse. eu edepol ne ego homo vivo miser.
SEN. Audin quae loquitur?

I will deprive the man of life. 905
and condignly, moreover, this courtesan has acted, as the meretricious custom is:
because, when I ask that the mantle be carried back again to my wife,
she says she has given herself to me. ah, by Pollux, indeed I am a wretched man alive.
SEN. Do you hear what he is saying?

MED. Se miserum praedicat. SEN. Adeas velim.
MED. Salvos sis, Menaechme.

MED. He proclaims himself wretched. SEN. I would like you to go to him.
MED. May you be safe, Menaechmus.

quaeso, cur apertas brachium? 910
non tu scis, quantum isti morbo nunc tuo facias mali?
MEN. Quin tu te suspendis? SEN. Ecquid sentis?

please, why do you open your arm? 910
do you not know how much harm you are now doing to that malady of yours?
MEN. Why don’t you hang yourself? SEN. Do you feel anything?

MED. Quidni sentiam?
non potest haec res ellebori ~iungere optinerier.
sed quid ais, Menaechme?

MED. Why should I not perceive it?
this matter cannot be made to be brought under control by hellebore.
but what say you, Menaechmus?

MEN. Quid vis? MED. Dic mihi hoc quod te rogo:
album an atrum vinum potas? MEN. Quin tu is in malam crucem? 915
MED. Iam hercle occeptat insanire primulum.

MEN. What do you want? MED. Tell me this that I ask you:
do you drink white or dark wine? MEN. Why don't you go to the gallows? 915
MED. Now, by Hercules, he's just beginning to go insane.

*** MEN. Quin tu me interrogas,
purpureum panem an puniceum soleam ego esse an luteum?
soleamne esse avis squamosas, piscis pennatos? SEN. Papae,
audin tu ut deliramenta loquitur?

*** MEN. Why don’t you ask me,
whether I am accustomed to eat purple bread or crimson or yellow?
am I accustomed to eat scaly birds, winged fishes? SEN. Good heavens,
do you hear how he’s talking delirious nonsense?

quid cessas dare 919-920
potionis aliquid prius quam percipit insania? 921
MED. Mane modo, etiam percontabor alia. SEN. Occidis fabulans.
MED. Dic mihi hoc: solent tibi umquam oculi duri fieri?

why do you delay to give 919-920
something of a potion before madness takes hold? 921
MED. Only wait, I will also inquire about other things. SEN. You’re killing us with your chattering.
MED. Tell me this: are your eyes ever wont to become hard?

MEN. Quid? tu me lucustam censes esse, homo ignavissime?
MED. Dic mihi: en umquam intestina tibi crepant, quod sentias? 925
MEN. Vbi satur sum, nulla crepitant; quando esurio, tum crepant.

MEN. What? do you reckon me a locust, you laziest man?
MED. Tell me: do your intestines ever rattle, so that you notice it? 925
MEN. When I am full, none rattle; when I am hungry, then they rattle.

MED. Hoc quidem edepol hau pro insano verbum respondit mihi.
perdormiscin usque ad lucem? facilen tu dormis cubans?

MED. By Pollux, this word indeed has not responded to me as of a madman.
do you sleep right through until daylight? do you sleep easily, lying down?

MEN. Perdormisco, si resolvi argentum cui debeo--
qui te Iuppiter dique omnes, percontator, perduint. 930
MED. Nunc homo insanire occeptat: de illis verbis cave tibi.
SEN. Immo Nestor nunc quidem est de verbis, praeut dudum fuit;
nam dudum uxorem suam esse aiebat rabiosam canem.
MEN. Quid, ego?

MEN. I sleep right through, if I’ve paid off the silver I owe—
may Jupiter and all the gods destroy you, interrogator. 930
MED. Now the man begins to go insane: beware for yourself because of those words.
SEN. Nay, as to words he’s a Nestor now, compared to how he was a moment ago;
for just now he was saying his wife was a rabid dog.
MEN. What, I?

SEN. Dixti insanus, inquam. MEN. Egone? SEN. Tu istic, qui mihi
etiam me iunctis quadrigis minitatu's prosternere.             935
egomet haec te vidi facere, egomet haec ted arguo.         936-940
MEN. At ego te sacram coronam surrupuisse Iovi scio,       941
et ob eam rem in carcerem ted esse compactum scio,
et postquam es emissus, caesum virgis sub furca scio;
tum patrem occidisse et matrem vendidisse etiam scio.

SEN. You spoke as a madman, I say. MEN. I? SEN. You there, who even threatened me to lay me low with a yoked quadriga.            935
I myself saw you do these things, I myself arraign you for these things.        936-940
MEN. But I know that you filched the sacred crown of Jove,      941
and for that matter I know you were clapped into prison,
and after you were released, I know you were beaten with rods under the fork;
then that you killed your father and even sold your mother, I know as well.

satin haec pro sano male dicta male dictis respondeo? 945
SEN. Obsecro hercle, medice, propere, quidquid facturu's, face.
non vides hominem insanire? MED. Scin quid facias optimum est?

Is it enough that, as a sane man, I respond to ill-said things with ill-said things? 945
SEN. I beseech you, by Hercules, doctor, quickly, whatever you are about to do, do it.
not do you see the man is insane? MED. Do you know what it is best for you to do?

ad me face uti deferatur. SEN. Itane censes? MED. Quippini?

Have him brought to me. SEN. Do you think so? MED. Why not?

ibi meo arbitratu potero curare hominem. SEN. Age ut lubet.
MED. Elleborum potabis faxo aliquos viginti dies. 950
MEN. At ego te pendentem fodiam stimulis triginta dies.

there I shall be able to cure the man at my discretion. SEN. Go ahead as you like.
MED. I’ll see to it you drink hellebore for some twenty days. 950
MEN. But I will pierce you with goads while you hang for thirty days.

MED. I, arcesse homines, qui illunc ad me deferant. SEN. Quot sunt satis?
MED. Proinde ut insanire video, quattuor, nihilo minus.

MED. Go, fetch men who will carry that fellow to me. SEN. How many are enough?
MED. Insofar as I see him to be insane, four, no less.

SEN. Iam hic erunt. asserva tu istunc, medice. MED. Immo ibo domum,
ut parentur quibus paratis opus est.

SEN. Presently they will be here. Keep that fellow under guard, doctor. MED. Rather, I will go home,
so that the things which need to be prepared may be prepared.

tu servos iube 955
hunc ad me ferant. SEN. Iam ego illic faxo erit. MED. Abeo.

you order the slaves 955
to carry this man to me. SEN. Right now I’ll see to it: he will be there. MED. I’m going.

SEN.Vale.
MEN. Abiit socerus, abiit medicus. [nunc] solus sum.

SEN. Farewell.
MEN. The father-in-law has gone, the physician has gone. [now] I am alone.

pro Iuppiter,
quid illuc est quod med hisce homines insanire praedicant?
nam equidem, postquam gnatus sum, numquam aegrotavi unum diem,
neque ego insanio neque pugnas neque ego litis coepio. 960
salvus salvos alios video, novi homines, adloquor.
an illi perperam insanire me aiunt, ipsi insaniunt?

O Jupiter,
what is it, that these men proclaim that me to be insane? for indeed, since I was born, I have never been ill a single day,
nor am I insane, nor do I begin fights nor lawsuits. 960
sound, I see others sound; I know men, I address them.
Or do they say wrongly that I am mad—are they themselves mad?

quid ego nunc faciam? domum ire cupio: uxor non sinit;
huc autem nemo intromittit. nimis proventum est nequiter.

What am I to do now? I desire to go home: my wife does not permit;
but no one admits me in here. It has turned out all too badly.

hic ero usque: ad noctem saltem, credo, intromittar domum. 965

I will stay here; by night at least, I think, I shall be admitted home. 965

V.vi

5.6

MESSENIO Spectamen bono servo id est, qui rem erilem
procurat, videt, collocat cogitatque,
ut absente ero rem eri diligenter
tutetur, quam si ipse adsit aut rectius.
tergum quam gulam, crura quam ventrem oportet 970
potiora esse, cui cor modeste situmst.
recordetur id, qui nihili sunt, quid eis preti
detur ab suis eris, ignavis, improbis viris:
verbera compedes
molae, [magna] lassitudo fames frigus durum, 975
haec pretia sunt ignaviae.

MESSENIO A mark for a good slave is this: one who manages the master’s property, looks to it, collocates it and cogitates about it, so that, with the master absent, he may diligently protect the master’s property, as if he himself were present, or even more rightly.
the back rather than the gullet, the shanks rather than the belly ought to be of greater importance for him whose heart is modestly set. 970
let those who are good-for-nothing remember this: what price is given to them by their masters, to lazy, wicked men:
beatings, fetters,
the mills, [great] lassitude, hunger, hard cold, 975
these are the prices of sloth.

id ego male malum metuo: propterea bonum esse certumst potius quam malum;
nam magis multo patior facilius verba: verbera ego odi,
nimioque edo lubentius molitum, quam molitum praehibeo.
propterea eri imperium exsequor, bene et sedate servo id;         980
atque mihi id prodest.
alii ita ut in rem esse ducunt, sint: ego ita ero ut me esse oportet;
metum mihi adhibeam, culpam abstineam, ero ut omnibus in locis sim praesto:
[servi, qui cum culpa carent metuont, solent esse eris utibiles.         983a
nam illi, qui nil metuont, postquam malum promeriti, tunc ei metuont.]         983b
metuam haud multum.

I badly fear that bad thing: therefore it is settled that it is better to be good than bad;
for I endure words much more easily by far: I hate beatings,
and far more gladly do I eat what is milled than offer myself to be milled.
therefore I execute my master’s imperium, I keep it well and sedately;         980
and it profits me.
let others be as they consider to be to their advantage: I will be as it behooves me to be;
let me apply fear to myself, abstain from fault, let me be so that in all places I am
at hand for my master:
[slaves who, when they are free from fault, are afraid, are wont to be useful to their masters.         983a
for those who fear nothing—after they have deserved harm, then they fear it.]         983b
I will not fear overmuch.

prope est quando erus ob facta pretium exsolvet.
<eo>ego exemplo servio, tergi ut in rem esse arbitror.
postquam in tabernam vasa et servos conlocavi, ut iusserat,
ita venio adversum.

It is near at hand when the master will pay the price for deeds.
<thereby> I serve by that example, as I judge it to be to the advantage of the back.
after I placed the vessels and the slaves in the shop, as he had ordered,
thus I come to meet him.

nunc foris pultabo, adesse ut me sciat,
~ neque virum ex hoc saltu damni salvom ut educam foras.
sed metuo, ne sero veniam depugnato proelio.

now I will knock at the door, so that he may know that I am present,
~ nor that I may lead the man out, safe from damage, from this defile, outside.
but I fear, lest I may come too late, the battle having been fought to the finish.

V.vii

5.7

SENEX Per ego vobis deos atque homines dico, ut imperium meum 990
sapienter habeatis curae, quae imperavi atque impero:
facite illic homo iam in medicinam ablatus sublimen siet,
nisi quidem vos vostra crura aut latera nihili penditis.
cave quisquam, quod illic minitetur, vostrum flocci fecerit.
quid statis?

SENEX By the gods and men I declare to you, that my command 990
you hold wisely in your care, the things I have ordered and do order:
see that that fellow, now carried off for medicine, be borne aloft,
unless indeed you reckon your own legs or flanks at nothing.
beware that anyone of yours make what he threatens there a trifle.
why are you standing?

quid dubitatis? iam sublimen raptum oportuit. 995
ego ibo ad medicum: praesto ero illi, cum venietis. MEN. Occidi,
quid hoc est negoti?

Why do you hesitate? By now it ought to have been snatched up aloft. 995
I will go to the physician: I will be at hand for him when you come. MEN. I am slain,
what is this business?

quid illisce homines ad me currunt, opsecro?
quid voltis vos? quid quaeritatis?

Why are those men running toward me, I beseech?
What do you want, you? What are you seeking?

quid me circumsistitis?
quo rapitis me? quo fertis me? perii, opsecro vestram fidem,
Epidamnienses, subvenite, cives. quin me mittitis? 1000
MESS. Pro di immortales, obsecro, quid ego oculis aspicio meis?

Why do you surround me?
Where are you snatching me? Where are you bearing me? I am undone, I beseech your good faith,
Epidamnians, come to my aid, citizens. Why don’t you let me go? 1000
MESS. By the immortal gods, I implore, what do I behold with my eyes?

erum meum indignissime nescio qui sublimen ferunt.
MEN. Ecquis suppetias mihi audet ferre? MESS. Ego, ere, audacissime.

I know not who bear my master aloft, most unworthily.
MEN. Does anyone dare to bring me assistance? MESS. I, master, most audaciously.

o facinus indignum et malum, Epidamnii cives, erum
meum hic in pacato oppido luci deripier in via, 1005
qui liber ad vos venerit.
mittite istunc. MEN. Obsecro te, quisquis es, operam mihi ut des,
neu sinas in me insignite fieri tantam iniuriam.

O deed unworthy and evil, citizens of Epidamnium, that my master
be dragged off here, in a pacified town, in broad daylight, in the street, 1005
who has come to you as a free man.
Release that fellow. MEN. I beseech you, whoever you are, to give me assistance,
and do not allow so great an injury to be done against me so egregiously.

MESS. Immo et operam dabo et defendam et subvenibo sedulo.
numquam te patiar perire, me perirest aequius. 1010
eripe oculum isti, ab umero qui tenet, ere, te obsecro.
hisce ego iam sementem in ore faciam pugnosque obseram.

MESS. Nay rather, I will both give aid and defend and come to succor sedulously.
I will never allow you to perish; for me to perish is more equitable.
1010
tear out the eye of that fellow, the one who holds you by the shoulder, master, I beseech you.
with these I will now make a sowing in his mouth and bolt my fists there.

maximo hodie malo hercle vostro istunc fertis. mittite.
MEN. Teneo ego huic oculum.

to your very great harm today, by Hercules, you are carrying that fellow off. let him go.
MEN. I hold his eye.

MESS. Face ut oculi locus in capite appareat.
vos scelesti, vos rapacis, vos praedones. LORARII Periimus. 1015
obsecro hercle.

MESS. Make it so that the place of the eye appears in his head.
you criminals, you rapacious ones, you predators. LORARII We are done for. 1015
I beg, by Hercules.

MESS. Mittite ergo. MEN. Quid me vobis tactiost?
pecte pugnis.

MESS. Then let go. MEN. What business have you to touch me?
comb me with your fists.

MESS. Agite abite, fugite hinc in malam crucem.
em tibi etiam: quia postremus cedis, hoc praemi feres.
nimis bene ora commetavi atque ex mea sententia.

MESS. Come on, be off, flee from here to the gallows.
here’s for you as well: since you are the last to go, you’ll carry this as your prize.
I have marked their faces exceedingly well, and to my own satisfaction.

edepol, ere, ne tibi suppetias temperi adveni modo. 1020
MEN. At tibi di semper, adulescens, quisquis es, faciant bene.
nam absque te esset, hodie numquam ad solem occasum viverem.

By Pollux, master, I have just now come to your aid in time for you. 1020
MEN. And may the gods always do well by you, young man, whoever you are.
for without you, today I would never live to the sun’s setting.

MESS. Ergo edepol, si recte facias, ere, med emittas manu.
MEN. Liberem ego te? MESS. Verum, quandoquidem, ere, te servavi. MEN. Quid est?

MESS. Therefore, by Pollux, if you should do rightly, master, you would manumit me.
MEN. I free you? MESS. Indeed, since, master, I saved you. MEN. What is it?

adulescens, erras. MESS. Quid, erro? MEN. Per Iovem adiuro patrem, 1025
med erum tuom non esse.

young man, you err. MESS. What, do I err? MEN. I swear by Jupiter the Father, 1025
that I am not your master.

MESS. Non taces? MEN. Non mentior;
nec meus servos umquam tale fecit quale tu mihi.
MESS. Sic sine igitur, si tuom negas me esse, abire liberum.

MESS. Won’t you be silent? MEN. I do not lie;
nor has my servant ever done such a thing as you to me.
MESS. Then let me, therefore, since you deny that I am yours, go away free.

MEN. Mea quidem hercle causa liber esto atque ito quo voles.
MESS. Nempe iubes? MEN. Iubeo hercle, si quid imperi est in te mihi. 1030
MESS. Salve, mi patrone.

MEN. For my part, by Hercules, be free and go where you will.
MESS. So, you bid it? MEN. I do bid it, by Hercules, if I have any command over you. 1030
MESS. Hail, my patron.

cum tu liber es, Messenio,
gaudeo. credo hercle vobis. sed, patrone, te obsecro,
ne minus imperes mihi quam cum tuos servos fui.

since you are free, Messenio,
I rejoice. By Hercules, I believe you (pl.). but, patron, I beseech you,
do not command me less than when I was your slave.

apud ted habitabo et quando ibis, una tecum ibo domum.
MEN. Minime. MESS. Nunc ibo in tabernam, vasa atque argentum tibi 1035
referam.

I will live with you, and when you go, I will go home together with you.
MEN. By no means. MESS. Now I will go to the inn, the vessels and the silver to you 1035
I will bring back.

recte est obsignatum in vidulo marsuppium
cum viatico: id tibi iam huc adferam. MEN. Adfer strenue.
MESS. Salvom tibi ita ut mihi dedisti reddibo.

the purse is duly sealed in the little travel-bag
with the viaticum: I will now bring it here to you. MEN. Bring it promptly.
MESS. I will give it back to you safe, just as you gave it to me.

hic me mane.
MEN. Nimia mira mihi quidem hodie exorta sunt miris modis:
alii me negant eum esse qui sum, atque excludunt foras         1040
* * *         1040a
vel ille qui se petere argentum modo, qui servom se meum
esse aiebat,<meus servator,>quem ego modo emisi manu;
is ait se mihi allaturum cum argento marsuppium:
id si attulerit, dicam ut a me abeat liber quo volet,
ne tum, quando sanus factus sit, a me argentum petat.     1045
socer et medicus me insanire aiebant. quid sit, mira sunt.

wait for me here.
MEN. Excessively wondrous things indeed have arisen for me today in wondrous ways:
others deny that I am the man I am, and shut me outside         1040
* * *         1040a
or that fellow who just now says he is going to seek the silver, who was saying that he was my slave,
<my savior,> whom I have just manumitted;
he says he will bring to me a purse with the silver:
if he brings it, I will tell him to go away from me free, wherever he wishes,
lest then, when he has become sane, he ask me for money.     1045
my father-in-law and the physician were saying that I am insane. What it is—these things are marvels.

haec nihilo esse mihi videntur setius quam somnia.
nunc ibo intro ad hanc meretricem, quamquam suscenset mihi,
si possum exorare ut pallam reddat, quam referam domum.

these things seem to me no otherwise than dreams.
now I will go inside to this courtesan, although she is angry with me,
if I can prevail upon her to give back the mantle, which I may carry home.

V.viii

5.8

MENAECHMVS(SOSICLES) Men hodie usquam convenisse te, audax, audes 1050
dicere,
postquam advorsum mi imperavi ut huc venires? MESSENIO Quin modo
erupui, homines quom ferebant te sublimen quattuor,
apud hasce aedis. tu clamabas deum fidem atque hominum omnium,
quom ego accurro teque eripio vi pugnando ingratiis.

MENAECHMVS(SOSICLES) Do you, bold one, dare to say that I have met you anywhere today, 1050
to say it,
after I, to my face, gave orders that you come here? MESSENIO Why, just now
I burst out, when four men were carrying you aloft,
at this very house. You were shouting for the faith of the gods and of all men,
when I run up and snatch you away by force, fighting, against their will.

ob eam rem, quia te servavi, me amisisti liberum. 1055
cum argentum dixi me petere et vasa, tu quantum potest
praecucurristi obviam, ut quae fecisti infitias eas.
SOS. Liberum ego te iussi abire? MESS. Certo.

on account of that matter, because I saved you, you have lost me—free. 1055
when I said that I was seeking the silver and the vessels, you, as much as possible,
ran ahead to meet it, so that you deny the things you did.
SOS. Did I order you to depart free? MESS. Certainly.

SOS. Quin certissimumst,
mepte potius fieri servom, quam te umquam emittam manu.

SOS. Why, it is most certain,
that I myself would rather become a slave, than that I should ever manumit you.

V.ix

5.9

MENAECHMVS Si voltis per oculos iurare, nihilo hercle ea causa magis 1060
facietis,
MES. Pro di immortales, quid ego video? S. Quid vides? MES. Speculum tuom.

MENAECHMUS If you want to swear by your eyes, by Hercules, for that reason you will achieve nothing more 1060
you will do it,
MES. O immortal gods, what do I see? S. What do you see? MES. Your mirror.

SOS. Quid negoti est? MES. Tuast imago. tam consimilest quam potest.

SOS. What’s the business? MES. It’s your image, as similar as can be.

SOS. Pol profecto haud est dissimilis, meam quom formam noscito.
MEN. O adulescens, salve, qui me servavisti, quisquis es. 1065
MESS. Adulescens, quaeso hercle eloquere tuom mihi nomen, nisi piget.
MEN. Non edepol ita promeruisti de me, ut pigeat, quae velis
<obsequi>. mihi est Menaechmo nomen.

SOS. By Pollux, indeed he is by no means dissimilar, when I recognize my own form.
MEN. O young man, hail, you who have saved me, whoever you are. 1065
MESS. Young man, by Hercules I beg, tell me your name, unless it irks you.
MEN. By Pollux, you have not so deserved of me that I should be loath to <comply> with what you wish. My name is Menaechmus.

SOS. Immo edepol mihi.
MEN. Siculus sum Syracusanus. SOS. Eadem urbs et patria est mihi.

SOS. Nay indeed, by Pollux, to me.
MEN. I am a Sicilian, a Syracusan. SOS. The same city and fatherland is mine.

MEN. Quid ego ex te audio? SOS. Hoc quod res est. MESS. Novi 1070
equidem hunc: erus est meus.

MEN. What do I hear from you? SOS. This, which the matter is. MESS. I know 1070
indeed this man: he is my master.

ego quidem huius servos sum, sed med esse huius credidi.
ego hunc censebam te esse, huic etiam exhibui negotium.
quaeso ignoscas, si quid stulte dixi atque imprudens tibi.

I indeed am this man’s slave, but I believed myself to be this other one’s.
I was reckoning this man to be you; I even gave him business.
I beg you, pardon me, if I have said anything foolish and unwitting to you.

SOS. Delirare mihi videre: non commeministi, simul
te hodie mecum exire ex navi? MESS. Enim vero aequom postulas. 1075
tu erus es: tu servom quaere. tu salveto: tu vale.

SOS. You seem to me to be delirious: do you not recall, at the same time
that today you went out with me from the ship? MESS. Indeed, truly, you demand what is equitable. 1075
you are the master: you seek the servant. you, be in health; you, farewell.

hunc ego esse aio Menaechmum. MEN. At ego me. SOS. Quae haec fabulast?
tu es Menaechmus?

I say that this is Menaechmus. MEN. But I am he. SOS. What fable is this?
are you Menaechmus?

MEN. Me esse dico, Moscho prognatum patre.
SOS. Tun meo patre es prognatus? MEN. Immo equidem, adulescens, meo;
tuom tibi neque occupare neque praeripere postulo. 1080
MESS. Di immortales, spem insperatam date mihi quam suspicor.

MEN. I say that I am, begotten from father Moschus.
SOS. Are you then begotten from my father? MEN. Nay indeed, adolescent, from my own;
I do not demand to seize nor to snatch away what is yours to yourself. 1080
MESS. Immortal gods, grant me the unhoped-for hope which I suspect.

nam nisi me animus fallit, hi sunt gemini germani duo.
nam et patriam et patrem conmemorant pariter qui fuerint sibi.
sevocabo erum.

for unless my mind deceives me, these are two twin true-born brothers.
for they commemorate both fatherland and father alike as having been theirs.
I will call the master aside.

Menaechme. MEN. SOS. Quid vis? MESS. Non ambos volo,
sed uter vostrorum est advectus mecum navi.

Menaechmus. MEN. SOS. What do you want? MESS. I do not want both,
but which of you two has been conveyed with me by ship?

MEN. Non ego. 1085
SOS. At ego. MESS. Te volo igitur. huc concede.

MEN. Not I. 1085
SOS. But I. MESS. I want you then. Come over here.

SOS. Concessi. quid est?
MESS. Illic homo aut sycophanta aut geminus est frater tuos.

SOS. I have come. What is it?
MESS. That man there is either a sycophant or your twin brother.

nam ego hominem hominis similiorem numquam vidi alterum.
neque aqua aquae nec lacte est lactis, crede mi, usquam similius,
quam hic tui est, tuque huius autem; post eandem patriam ac patrem 1090
memorat. meliust nos adire atque hunc percontarier.

for I have never seen one man more similar to another man.
nor is water to water nor milk to milk, believe me, anywhere more similar,
than this fellow is to you, and you to him besides; after that the same fatherland and father 1090
he mentions. it’s better for us to approach and interrogate him.

SOS. Hercle qui tu me admonuisti recte, et habeo gratiam.
perge operam dare, obsecro hercle; liber esto, si invenis
hunc meum fratrem esse. MESS. Spero.

SOS. By Hercules, how rightly you have admonished me, and I have gratitude.
go on to give effort, I beseech, by Hercules; be free, if you find
this man to be my brother. MESS. I hope.

SOS. Et ego item spero fore.
MESS. Quid ais tu? Menaechmum, opinor, te vocari dixeras. 1095
MEN. Ita vero. MESS. Huic item Menaechmo nomen est.

SOS. And I likewise hope it will be.
MESS. What do you say? You said, I suppose, that you are called Menaechmus. 1095
MEN. Yes, indeed. MESS. This one likewise is named Menaechmus.

in Sicilia
te Syracusis natum esse dixti: <et>hic natust ibi.
Moschum tibi patrem fuisse dixti: huic itidem fuit.
nunc operam potestis ambo mihi dare et vobis simul.

in
Sicily
you said you were born at Syracuse: <and>this one was born there.
you said Moschus was your father: for this one likewise he was.
now you both can give your effort to me and to yourselves at the same time.

MEN. Promeruisti ut ne quid ores quod velis, quin impetres. 1100
tam quasi me emeris argento, liber servibo tibi.
MESS. Spes mihi est, vos inventurum fratres germanos duos
geminos, una matre natos et patre uno uno die.
MEN. Mira memoras.

MEN. You have merited that you need not beg for anything you wish, but that you obtain it. 1100
so that, as if you had bought me with silver, I, though free, will serve you.
MESS. I have hope that you will find the two full-brothers, twins, born of one mother and one father on one day.
MEN. You recount marvels.

utinam efficere quod pollicitu's possies.
MESS. Possum. sed nunc agite uterque id quod rogabo dicite. 1105
MEN. Vbi lubet, roga: respondebo.

Would that you could effect what you have promised.
MESS. I can. But now come, each of you say what I shall ask. 1105
MEN. When you please, ask: I will respond.

nil reticebo quod sciam.
MESS. Est tibi nomen Menaechmo? MEN. Fateor.

I will keep back nothing that I know.
MESS. Is your name Menaechmus? MEN. I confess.

MESS. Est itidem tibi?
SOS. Est. MESS. Patrem fuisse Moschum tibi ais?

MESS. Is it likewise for you?
SOS. It is. MESS. Do you say that your father was Moschus?

MEN. Ita vero. SOS. Et mihi.
MESS. Esne tu Syracusanus?

MEN. Yes indeed. SOS. And to me.
MESS. Are you a Syracusan?

MEN. Certo. MESS. Quid tu? SOS. Quippini?
MESS. Optime usque adhuc conveniunt signa.

MEN. Certainly. MESS. And you? SOS. Why not?
MESS. The signs concur most excellently right up to this point.

porro operam date. 1110
quid longissime meministi, dic mihi, in patria tua?
MEN. Cum patre ut abii Tarentum ad mercatum, postea
inter homines me deerrare a patre atque inde avehi.
SOS. Iuppiter supreme, serva me. MESS. Quid clamas?

now pay attention. 1110
what do you remember earliest, tell me, in your native land?
MEN. When I went off with my father to Tarentum for the market, afterward
that I wandered away from my father among men and was borne off from there.
SOS. Supreme Jupiter, save me. MESS. Why are you shouting?

quin taces?
quot eras annos gnatus, quom te pater a patria avehit? 1115
MEN. Septuennis: nam tunc dentes mihi cadebant primulum.
neque patrem umquam postilla vidi.

why don’t you be quiet?
how many years old were you, when your father carried you away from your fatherland? 1115
MEN. seven years old: for then my teeth were just beginning to fall out.
nor ever after that did I see my father.

MESS. Quid? vos tum patri
filii quot eratis? MEN. Vt nunc maxime memini, duo.

MESS. What? Then how many sons had your father? MEN. As now I most distinctly remember, two.

MESS. Vter eratis, tun an ille, maior? MEN. Aeque ambo pares.
MESS. Qui id potest?

MESS. Which of you was the elder, you or he? MEN. Equally, both the same age.
MESS. How can that be?

MEN. Gemini ambo eramus. SOS. Di me servatum volunt. 1120
MESS. Si interpellas, ego tacebo potius. SOS. Taceo.

MEN. We both were twins. SOS. The gods want me preserved. 1120
MESS. If you interrupt, I will rather be silent. SOS. I am silent.

MESS. Dic mihi:
uno nomine ambo eratis? MEN. Minime. nam mihi hoc erat,
quod nunc est, Menaechmo: illum tum vocabant Sosiclem.

MESS. Tell me:
were you both called by one name? MEN. By no means. For my name was,
what it is now, Menaechmus; they then used to call that one Sosicles.

SOS. Signa adgnovi, contineri quin complectar non queo.
mi germane gemine frater, salve. ego sum Sosicles. 1125
MEN. Quo modo igitur post Menaechmo nomen est factum tibi?

SOS. I have recognized the signs; I cannot be contained from embracing you. my german twin brother, hail. I am Sosicles. 1125
MEN. In what way then did the name Menaechmus come to be yours afterward?

SOS. Postquam ad nos renuntiatum est te *** et patrem esse mortuom,
avos noster mutavit: quod tibi nomen est, fecit mihi.
MEN. Credo ita esse factum ut dicis. sed mi hoc responde.

SOS. After it was reported back to us that you *** and father were dead,
our grandfather changed matters: the name which you have, he made for me.
MEN. I believe it happened as you say. But answer me this.

SOS.Roga. 1129-1130
MEN. Quid erat nomen nostrae matri? SOS. Teuximarchae. MEN. Convenit. 1131
o salve, insperate multis annis post quem conspicor.

SOS.Ask. 1129-1130
MEN. What was the name of our mother? SOS. Teuximarcha. MEN.
It agrees. 1131
o hail, unexpected after many years, whom I behold.

SOS. Frater, et tu, quem ego multis miseriis laboribus
usque adhuc quaesivi quemque ego esse inventum gaudeo.
MESS. Hoc erat, quod haec te meretrix huius vocabat nomine: 1135
hunc censebat te esse, credo, quom vocat te ad prandium.
MEN. Namque edepol iussi hic mihi hodie prandium appararier,
clam meam uxorem, quoi pallam surrupui dudum domo,
eam dedi huic.

SOS. Brother, and you, whom I through many miseries and labors
up to this very day have sought, and whom I rejoice to have at last found.
MESS. This was why this courtesan was calling you by this man’s name: 1135
she thought you were him, I believe, when she invites you to luncheon.
MEN. For indeed, by Pollux, I ordered a luncheon to be prepared for me here today,
without my wife’s knowledge, from whom I lately filched a mantle from the house,
and I gave it to this woman.

S. Hanc, dicis, frater, pallam, quam ego habeo? M.<Haec east.>
quo modo haec ad te pervenit? SOS. Meretrix huc ad prandium 1140
me abduxit, me sibi dedisse aiebat.

S. This, you say, brother, the palla which I have? M. <This is it.>
how did this come to you? SOS. A courtesan led me off here to a luncheon, 1140
she was saying that I had given it to her.

prandi perbene,
potavi atque accubui scortum, pallam et aurum hoc <abstuli>.
MEN. Gaudeo edepol, si quid propter me tibi evenit boni.
nam illa quom te ad se vocabat, memet esse credidit. 1144-1145
MESS. Numquid me morare quin ego liber, ut iusti, siem? 1146
MEN. Optimum atque aequissimum orat, frater: fac causa mea.
SOS. Liber esto.

I lunched very well,
I drank and reclined with the prostitute; the mantle and this gold I <stole>.
MEN. By Pollux, I rejoice, if anything good has happened to you on account of me.
for when she was calling you to herself, she believed me to be you. 1144-1145
MESS. Is there anything to delay me from being free, as is just? 1146
MEN. He asks what is best and most equitable, brother: do it for my sake.
SOS. Be free.

MEN. Quom tu es liber, gaudeo, Messenio.
MESS. Sed meliorest opus auspicio, ut liber perpetuo siem. 1149-1150
SOS. Quoniam haec evenerunt, frater, nostra ex sententia, 1151
in patriam redeamus ambo. MEN. Frater, faciam, ut tu voles.

MEN. Since you are free, I rejoice, Messenio.
MESS. But there is need of a better auspice, that I may be free perpetually. 1149-1150
SOS. Since these things have turned out, brother, to our satisfaction, 1151
let us both return to our fatherland. MEN. Brother, I will do as you wish.

auctionem hic faciam et vendam quidquid est. nunc interim
eamus intro, frater. SOS. Fiat.

I will hold an auction here and sell whatever there is. Now in the meantime
let us go inside, brother. SOS. Let it be done.

MESS. Scitin quid ego vos rogo?
M. Quid? MES. Praeconium mi ut detis.

MESS. Do you know what I ask you?
M. What? MES. That you give me a proclamation.

M. Dabitur. MES. Ergo nunciam 1155
vis conclamari auctionem fore? MEN. Equidem die septimi.
MESS. Auctio fiet Menaechmi mane sane septimi.

M. It will be given. MES. So then, right now 1155
do you want it cried that there will be an auction? MEN. Indeed, on the seventh day.
MESS. The auction of Menaechmus will take place in the morning, certainly, on the seventh day.

venibunt servi, supellex, fundi, aedes, omnia.
venibunt quiqui licebunt, praesenti pecunia.
venibit uxor quoque etiam, si quis emptor venerit. 1160
vix credo tota auctione capiet ~ quinquagesies.

slaves, household-furniture, farms, the house, everything will be sold.
whatever will be licit will be sold, for ready cash.
the wife too will be sold as well, if any purchaser comes. 1160
i scarcely believe the whole auction will take in ~ 50-fold.

nunc, spectatores, valete et nobis clare plaudite.

now, spectators, farewell and applaud loudly for us.