Plautus: Asinaria

LIBANVS SERVVS
DEMAENETVS SENEX
ARGYRIPPVS ADVLESCENS
CLEARETA LENA
LEONIDA SERVVS
MERCATOR
PHILAENIVM MERETRIX
DIABOLVS ADVLESCENS
PARASITVS
ARTEMONA MATRONA

LIBANUS SLAVE
DEMAENETUS OLD MAN
ARGYRIPPUS YOUNG MAN
CLEARETA BAWD
LEONIDA SLAVE
MERCHANT
PHILAENIUM COURTESAN
DIABOLUS YOUNG MAN
PARASITE
ARTEMONA MATRON

ARGVMENTVM

ARGUMENT

Amanti argento filio auxiliarier
Sub imperio vivens volt senex uxorio.
Itaque ob asinos relatum pretium Saureae
Numerari iussit servolo Leonidae.
Ad amicam id fertur.

Aiding his amorous son with silver
Subject to uxorial dominion, the old man wishes it.
It is therefore, on account of the asses, the price returned to Saurea
Numbered out, he ordered it to the little slave Leonidas.
And to the girlfriend it is carried

cedit noctem filius.
Rivalis amens ob praereptam mulierem,
Is rem omnem uxori per parasitum nuntiat.
Accurrit uxor ac virum e lustris rapit.

the son yields the night.
Rival, out of his mind on account of the woman snatched away,
Informs the whole affair to the wife through the parasite.
At once the wife runs up and snatches the husband from the brothels.

PROLOGVS

PROLOGUE

Hoc agite sultis, spectatores, nunciam,
quae quidem mihi atque vobis res vertat bene
gregique huic et dominis atque conductoribus.
face nunciam tu, praeco, omnem auritum poplum.
age nunc reside, cave modo ne gratiis.

Attend to this, if you will, spectators, now,
may this matter indeed turn out well for me and for you
and for this troupe and for the masters and the contractors.
now then, you, crier, make the whole populace all-ears.
come now, sit down, only take care it not be for free.

5
nunc quid processerim huc et quid mihi voluerim
dicam: ut sciretis nomen huius fabulae;
nam quod ad argumentum attinet, sane brevest.
nunc quod me dixi velle vobis dicere,
dicam: huic nomen graece Onagost fabulae;

5
now I will say why I have come forward here and what I intended:
so that you might know the name of this play;
for as it pertains to the argument, it is truly very brief.
now what I said I wished to tell you,
I will say: the Greek name of this play is Onagost;

10
Demophilus scripsit, Maccus vortit barbare;
Asinariam volt esse, si per vos licet.
inest lepos ludusque in hac comoedia,
ridicula res est. date benigne operam mihi,
ut vos, ut alias, pariter nunc Mars adiuvet.

10
Demophilus wrote it, Maccus has turned it into the barbarian tongue;
he wants it to be the Asinaria, if it is permitted by you.
there is charm and play in this comedy,
it is a ridiculous affair. grant kindly your attention to me,
that Mars may aid you now equally as at other times.

ACTVS I

ACT 1

I.i
LIBANVS Sicut tuom vis unicum gnatum tuae
superesse vitae sospitem et superstitem,
ita ted obtestor per senectutem tuam
perque illam, quam tu metuis, uxorem tuam,
si quid med erga hodie falsum dixeris,

1.1
LIBANVS Just as you wish your only-born son to outlive your life, safe and surviving,
so I adjure you by your old age
and by that wife of yours whom you fear,
if today you have said anything false toward me,

20
ut tibi superstes uxor aetatem siet
atque illa viva vivos ut pestem oppetas.
DEMAENETVS Per Dium Fidium quaeris: iurato mihi
video necesse esse eloqui quidquid roges.
[ita me obstinate adgressu's, ut non audeam

20
that your wife may be surviving to your lifetime
and, with her alive, that you alive may meet with plague.
DEMAENETVS By Dius Fidius you inquire: I see it to be necessary for me,
under oath, to speak out whatever you ask.
[so obstinately you have set upon me, that I do not dare

25
profecto, percontanti quin promam omnia.]
proinde actutum istuc quid sit quod scire expetis
eloquere: ut ipse scibo, te faciam ut scias.
LIB. Dic obsecro hercle serio quod te rogem,
cave mihi mendaci quicquam. DEM. Quin tu ergo rogas? 30
LIB. Num me illuc ducis, ubi lapis lapidem terit?

25
indeed, to one inquiring I will surely disclose everything.]
therefore straightway tell what that is which you seek to know
speak out: as I myself know, I will make you know.
LIB. Say, I beg by Hercules, in earnest, what I ask you,
take care you say nothing mendacious to me. DEM. Why then do you ask? 30
LIB. Are you by any chance leading me thither, where a stone wears a stone?

DEM. Quid istuc est? aut ubi istuc est terrarum loci?
LIB. [Vbi flent nequam homines, qui polentam pinsitant.]
apud fustitudinas, ferricrepinas insulas,
ubi vivos homines mortui incursant boves.

DEM. What is that? Or where on earth is that place?
LIB. [Where worthless men who pound polenta weep.]
among the cudgel-shops, the iron-clanking islands,
where dead oxen charge at living men.

35
DEM. Modo pol percepi, Libane, quid istuc sit loci:
ubi fit polenta, te fortasse dicere. LIB. Ah,
neque hercle ego istuc dico nec dictum volo,
teque obsecro hercle ut quae locutu's despuas.
DEM. Fiat, geratur mos tibi.

35
DEM. Just now, by Pollux, I’ve perceived, Libanus, what that place is:
where polenta is made, perhaps you mean. LIB. Ah,
neither, by Hercules, do I say that nor do I wish it said,
and I beseech you, by Hercules, to spit out what you’ve said. DEM. Let it be done; have your wish complied with.

LIB. Age, age usque excrea. 40
DEM. Etiamne? LIB. Age quaeso hercle usque ex penitis faucibus.
etiam amplius.

LIB. Come on, come on, spit it out—keep on spitting. 40
DEM. Still? LIB. Come on, I beg you, by Hercules, right from your inmost throat fauces.
even more.

DEM. Nam quo usque? LIB. Vsque ad mortem volo.
DEM. Cave sis malam rem.

DEM. But how far? LIB. Right up to death
I want.
DEM. Beware, please, of a bad thing.

LIB. Vxoris dico, non tuam.
DEM. Dono te ob istuc dictum, ut expers sis metu. 44-45
LIB. Di tibi dent quaecumque optes. DEM. Redde operam mihi.

LIB. I mean a wife, not yours.
DEM. I pardon you for that remark, that you may be free from fear. 44-45
LIB. May the gods grant you whatever you wish. DEM. Pay attention to me.

46
cur hoc ego ex te quaeram? aut cur miniter tibi
propterea quod me non scientem feceris?
aut cur postremo filio suscenseam,
patres ut faciunt ceteri?

46
why should I ask this from you? or why should I threaten you
on account of the fact that you have made me not knowing?
or why, finally, should I be angry with my son,
as the other fathers do?

LIB. Quid istuc novi est? 50
demiror quid sit et quo evadat sum in metu.
DEM. Equidem scio iam, filius quod amet meus
istanc meretricem e proxumo Philaenium.
estne hoc ut dico, Libane?

LIB. What new thing is that? 50
I marvel what it is and to what it will turn out; I am in fear.
DEM. Indeed I know now, that my son loves that courtesan from next door, Philaenium.
Is this as I say, Libanus?

LIB. Rectam instas viam.
ea res est. sed eum morbus invasit gravis. 55
DEM. Quid morbi est?

LIB. You are on the right road.
That is the matter. But a grave malady has invaded him. 55
DEM. What malady is it?

LIB. Quia non suppetunt dictis data.
DEM. Tune es adiutor nunc amanti filio?
LIB. Sum vero, et alter noster est Leonida.

LIB. Because the things promised do not come up to the words.
DEM. Are you now an aider to my son in love?
LIB. I am indeed, and our other man is Leonida.

DEM. Bene hercle facitis et a me initis gratiam.
verum meam uxorem, Libane, nescis qualis sit?

DEM. By Hercules, you do well and you win gratitude from me.
but my wife, Libanus, you do not know what she is like?

60
LIB. Tu primus sentis, nos tamen in pretio sumus.
DEM. Fateor eam esse importunam atque incommodam.
LIB. Posterius istuc dicis quam credo tibi.

60
LIB. You are the first to sense it; still, we are at a premium.
DEM. I confess that she is importunate and incommodious.
LIB. You say that too late for me to believe you.

DEM. Omnes parentes, Libane, liberis suis,
qui mi auscultabunt, facient obsequellam~ 65
quippe qui mage amico utantur gnato et benevolo.
atque ego me id facere studeo, volo amari a meis;
volo me patris mei similem, qui causa mea
nauclerico ipse ornatu per fallaciam
quam amabam abduxit ab lenone mulierem;

DEM. All parents, Libanus, who will listen to me, for their own children,
will render indulgence~ 65
since thereby they will make use of a son more friendly and benevolent.
and I for my part strive to do this; I wish to be loved by my own;
I wish to be like my father, who on my account,
himself in shipmaster’s outfit, by a stratagem
carried off from the pimp the woman whom I loved;

70
neque puduit eum id aetatis sycophantias
struere et beneficiis me emere gnatum suom sibi.
eos me decretumst persequi mores patris.
nam me hodie oravit Argyrippus filius,
uti sibi amanti facerem argenti copiam;

70
nor did it shame him, at that age, to contrive sycophancies
and to buy me, his own son, to himself by benefactions.
it is decreed for me to pursue those mores of my father.
for today my son Argyrippus begged me,
that I make for himself, being in love, a supply of silver.

75
et id ego percupio obsequi gnato meo.
[volo amori obsecutum illius, volo amet me patrem.]
quamquam illum mater arte contenteque habet,
patres ut consueverunt: ego mitto omnia haec.
praesertim quom is me dignum quoi concrederet

75
and I am very eager to comply with my son.
[I want to have yielded to his affection; I want him to love me as father.]
although his mother keeps him by art and strictly,
as fathers are accustomed: I pass over all this.
especially since he judged me worthy to whom he might entrust

80
habuit, me habere honorem eius ingenio decet;
quom me adiit, ut pudentem gnatum aequomst patrem,
cupio esse amicae quod det argentum suae.
LIB. Cupis id quod cupere te nequiquam intellego.
dotalem servom Sauream uxor tua

80
he held me worthy to entrust to; it befits me to have honor for his ingenuity;
when he came to me, as it is fair that a modest son to his father,
i desire there to be silver to give to his girlfriend.
LIB. You desire that which I understand you desire in vain.
your wife has the dowry-slave Saurea

85
adduxit, cui plus in manu sit quam tibi.
DEM. Argentum accepi, dote imperium vendidi.
nunc verba in pauca conferam quid te velim.

85
she has brought in one who has more in his hand than you.
DEM. I took the silver; with the dowry I sold my authority.
now I will bring my words into a few, what I want from you.

viginti iam usust filio argenti minis:
face id ut paratum iam sit. LIB. Vnde gentium? 90
DEM. Me defraudato. LIB. Maxumas nugas agis:
nudo detrahere vestimenta me iubes.

twenty minae of silver are now needed for my son:
see that it is ready now. LIB. From where in the world? 90
DEM. By defrauding me. LIB. You are talking the utmost nonsense:
you order me to strip the clothes from a naked man.

defraudem te ego? age sis, tu sine pennis vola.
tene ego defraudem, cui ipsi nihil est in manu,
nisi quid tu porro uxorem defraudaveris?

Should I defraud you? Come now, please, you—fly without wings.
You—should I defraud you, who yourself have nothing in hand,
unless you in turn have defrauded your wife of something?

95
DEM. Qua me, qua uxorem, qua tu servom Sauream
potes, circumduce, aufer; promitto tibi
non offuturum, si id hodie effeceris.
LIB. Iubeas una opera me piscari in aere,
venari autem rete iaculo in medio mari.~

95
DEM. However you can, lead me around, the wife, and your slave Saurea; carry us off; I promise you I will not be an obstacle, if you effect that today.
LIB. You’d be bidding me, in one and the same operation, to fish in the air, and moreover to hunt with a net by a javelin in the middle of the sea.~

100
DEM. Tibi optionem sumito Leonidam,
fabricare quidvis, quidvis comminiscere:
perficito, argentum hodie ut habeat filius,
amicae quod det. LIB. Quid ais tu, Demaenete?
DEM. Quid <vis>? LIB. Si forte in insidias devenero, 105
tun redimes me, si me hostes interceperint?

100
DEM. Take Leonidas as your option,
fabricate whatever you like, devise whatever you like:
see it done, that the son may have silver today,
to give to his girlfriend. LIB. What are you saying, Demaenetus?
DEM. What do you want? LIB. If by chance I fall into an ambush, 105
will you ransom me, if the enemies intercept me?

DEM. Redimam. LIB. Tum tu igitur aliud cura quid lubet.
ego eo ad forum, nisi quid vis.

DEM. I will redeem you. LIB. Then you, therefore, take care of whatever else you please.
I am going to the forum, unless you want anything.

DEM. Ei, bene ambula.
atque audin etiam? LIB. Ecce.

DEM. Hey, fare well.
and do you hear too? LIB. Look.

DEM. Si quid te volam,
ubi eris? LIB. Vbicumque libitum erit animo meo. 110
profecto nemo est quem iam dehinc metuam mihi
ne quid nocere possit, cum tu mihi tua
oratione omnem animum ostendisti tuom.
quin te quoque ipsum facio haud magni, si hoc patro.

DEM. If I want you for anything,
where will you be? LIB. Wherever it pleases my mind. 110
surely there is no one whom henceforth I shall fear for myself,
lest he be able to harm me in any way, since by your speech you have shown me your whole mind.
nay, I make even you yourself not of great account, if I accomplish this.

pergam quo occepi atque ibi consilia exordiar.

I will proceed where I have begun, and there I will begin my counsels.

115
DEM. Audin tu? apud Archibulum ego ero argentarium.
LIB. Nempe in foro? DEM. Ibi, si quid opus fuerit.

115
DEM. Do you hear? I will be at Archibulus the banker.
LIB. Surely in the forum? DEM. There, if there is need of anything.

LIB. Meminero.—
DEM. Non esse servos peior hoc quisquam potest
nec magis versutus nec quo ab caveas aegrius.
eidem homini, si quid recte curatum velis,

LIB. I will remember.—
DEM. No one can be a worse slave than this fellow,
nor more wily, nor one from whom you could more hardly keep on your guard.
this same man too, if you want anything rightly cared for,

120
mandes: moriri sese misere mavolet,
quam non perfectum reddat quod promiserit.
nam ego illud argentum tam paratum filio
scio esse quam me hunc scipionem contui.
sed quid ego cesso ire ad forum, quo inceperam?

120
entrust it to him: he would rather die wretchedly,
than not render as complete what he has promised.
for I know that that silver is just as ready for my son
as that I have looked upon this staff.
but why do I delay to go to the forum, whither I had commenced?

125
*** atque ibi manebo apud argentarium.—

125
*** and there I will stay at the banker’s.—

I.ii
ARGYRIPPVS Sicine hoc fit? foras aedibus me eici?
promerenti optume hocin preti redditur?

I.ii
ARGYRIPPUS Is this how this is done? Am I being ejected out of the house?
To one who has most well merited, is this the price that is rendered?

bene merenti mala es, male merenti bona es;
at malo cum tuo, nam iam ex hoc loco

you are bad to the well-deserving, you are good to the ill-deserving;
but to your own harm, for now from this place

130
ibo ego ad tres viros vostraque ibi nomina
faxo erunt, capitis te perdam ego et filiam,
perlecebrae, permities, adulescentum exitium.
nam mare haud est mare, vos mare acerrumum;
nam in mari repperi, hic elavi bonis.

130
I will go to the Three Men and I will make your names be there;
I will destroy you and your daughter by a capital charge,
you lures, perdition, the ruin of adolescents.
for the sea is not a sea; you are the most bitter sea;
for in the sea I found, here I have washed away my goods.

135
ingrata atque inrita esse omnia intellego
quae dedi et quod bene feci, at posthac tibi
male quod potero facere faciam, meritoque id faciam tuo.
ego pol te redigam eodem unde orta es, ad egestatis terminos,
ego edepol te faciam ut quae sis nunc et quae fueris scias.

135
I understand that all things are ungrateful and null
which I gave and the good that I did; but hereafter for you
the ill which I shall be able to do I will do, and I will do it by your desert.
By Pollux, I will reduce you to the same place whence you arose, to the bounds of indigence,
by Pollux indeed I will make you so that you know what you are now and what you have been.

140
quae prius quam istam adii atque amans ego animum meum isti dedi,
sordido vitam oblectabas pane in pannis inopia,
atque ea si erant, magnas habebas omnibus dis gratias;
eadem nunc, cum est melius, me, cuius opera est, ignoras mala.
reddam ego te ex fera fame mansuetem, me specta modo.

140
you—before I approached that girl and, loving, I gave my spirit to her—
you used to eke out your life with sordid bread, in rags, in indigence,
and if you had even those, you offered great thanks to all the gods;
the same things now, when it is better—me, by whose effort it is—you, wicked one, ignore.
I will make you, by savage hunger, tame; only watch me.

145
nam isti quid suscenseam ipsi? nihil est, nihil quicquam meret;
tuo facit iussu, tuo imperio paret: mater tu, eadem era es.
te ego ulciscar, te ego ut digna es perdam atque ut de me meres.
at scelesta viden ut ne id quidem, me dignum esse existumat
quem adeat, quem conloquatur quoique irato supplicet?

145
for why should I be angry with that fellow himself? he is nothing; he merits nothing at all;
he acts by your bidding, he obeys your imperium: you are the mother, and likewise the mistress.
you I will avenge myself upon; you I will ruin as you are worthy and as you deserve from me.
but, wicked one, do you see how she does not even think me worthy
to whom she should come, with whom she should speak, and to whom, though I am irate, she should supplicate?

150
atque eccam inlecebra exit tandem; opinor hic ante ostium
meo modo loquar quae volam, quoniam intus non licitum est mihi.

150
and look, the enticement comes out at last; I suppose here before the doorway
I will speak in my own mode what I wish, since inside it was not licit for me.

I.iii
CLEARETA Vnum quodque istorum verbum nummis Philippis aureis
non potest auferre hinc a me si quis emptor venerit;
nec recte quae tu in nos dicis, aurum atque argentum merumst:

1.3
CLEARETA Each and every one of those words—no buyer, even if he came with golden Philippi coins—cannot carry it off from me from here;
nor is it right: what you say against us is sheer gold and silver.

155
fixus hic apud nos est animus tuos clavo Cupidinis.
remigio veloque quantum poteris festina et fuge:
quam magis te in altum capessis, tam aestus te in portum refert.
ARGYR. Ego pol istum portitorem privabo portorio;
ego te dehinc ut merita es de me et mea re tractare exsequar,

155
Your spirit is fixed here with us by Cupid’s nail.
With oarage and with sail, hasten as much as you can and flee:
the more you seize the deep, the more the tide bears you back into port.
ARGYR. By Pollux, I will deprive that customs-collector of his customs-duty;
I will thereafter proceed to handle you as you have deserved from me and my estate,

160
quom tu med ut meritus sum non tractas atque eicis domo.
CLEAR. Magis istuc percipimus lingua dici, quam factis fore.
ARGYR. Solus solitudine ego ted atque ab egestate abstuli;
solus si ductem, referre gratiam numquam potes.

160
when you do not treat me as I have deserved and you cast me out of the house.
CLEAR. We perceive that that will be said by the tongue rather than be in deeds.
ARGYR. I alone removed you from solitude and from indigence;
alone, were I to keep doing so, you could never return gratitude.

CLEAR. Solus ductato, si semper solus quae poscam dabis;

CLEAR. Lead me alone, if always alone you will give what I ask;

165
semper tibi promissum habeto hac lege, dum superes datis.
ARGYR. Qui modus dandi? nam numquam tu quidem expleri potes;
modo quom accepisti, haud multo post aliquid quod poscas paras.

165
always count it as promised to you on this condition: so long as you are ahead in payments.
ARGYR. What measure of giving? for you indeed can never be filled;
just when you have received, not long after you contrive something to ask for.

CLEAR. Quid modist ductando, amando? numquamne expleri potes?
modo remisisti, continuo iam ut remittam ad te rogas.

CLEAR. What measure is there in leading on, in loving? can you never be sated?
just now you remitted, straightway you already ask that I remit to you.

170
A. Dedi equidem quod mecum egisti. C. Et tibi ego misi mulierem:
par pari datum hostimentumst, opera pro pecunia.
A. Male agis mecum.

170
A. I did indeed give what you demanded of me. C. And I sent you the woman:
equal for equal, a counter-value has been given, service for money.
A. You deal badly with me.

C. Quid me accusas, si facio officium meum?
nam neque fictum usquamst neque pictum neque scriptum in poematis
ubi lena bene agat cum quiquam amante, quae frugi esse volt.

C. Why do you accuse me, if I do my duty?
for there is nowhere feigned nor painted nor written in the poems
where a procuress who wants to be respectable deals well with any lover.

175
ARGYR. Mihi quidem te parcere aequomst tandem, ut tibi durem diu.
CLEAR. Non tu scis? quae amanti parcet, eadem sibi parcet parum.

175
ARGYR. For my part, it is equitable that you spare me at last, so that I may endure for you long.
CLEAR. Don’t you know? She who will spare her lover will spare herself too little.

quasi piscis, itidemst amator lenae: nequam est, nisi recens;
is habet sucum, is suavitatem, eum quo vis pacto condias,
vel patinarium vel assum, verses quo pacto lubet:

just like a fish, so too is a lover for a procuress: he is good-for-nothing unless fresh;
he has juice, he has suavity; season him in whatever fashion you please,
either as a patina-dish or as a roast, turn him in whatever way you like:

180
is dare volt, is se aliquid posci, nam ibi de pleno promitur;
neque ille scit quid det, quid damni faciat: illi rei studet.
volt placere sese amicae, volt mihi, volt pedisequae,
volt famulis, volt etiam ancillis; et quoque catulo meo
subblanditur novos amator, se ut quom videat gaudeat.

180
he wants to give, he wants to have something asked of him, for there things are brought forth from a full store;
nor does he know what he gives, what loss he makes: to that matter he is devoted.
he wants to please his girlfriend, he wants to please me, he wants to please the lady’s-maid,
he wants to please the household servants, he wants even the maidservants; and the new lover even fawns upon my puppy,
so that when he sees him he may rejoice.

185
vera dico: ad suom quemque hominem quaestum esse aequomst callidum.
ARGYR. Perdidici istaec esse vera damno cum magno meo.
CLEAR. Si ecastor nunc habeas quod des, alia verba praehibeas;
nunc quia nihil habes, maledictis te eam ductare postulas.

185
I tell truths: it is fair that each man be shrewd for his own gain.
ARGYR. I have thoroughly learned that these things are true, with great loss to myself.
CLEAR. If, by Castor, you had something now to give, you would be offering different words;
now, because you have nothing, you demand to woo her with maledictions.

A. Non meum est. C. Nec meum quidem edepol, ad te ut mittam gratiis.

A. It is not mine. C. Nor mine indeed, by Pollux, that I should send to you gratis.

190
verum aetatis atque honoris gratia hoc fiet tui,
quia nobis lucro fuisti potius quam decori tibi:
si mihi dantur duo talenta argenti numerata in manum,
hanc tibi noctem honoris causa gratiis dono dabo.
A. Quid si non est? C. Tibi non esse credam, illa alio ibit tamen.

190
but for the sake of your age and honor this will be done for you,
because you have been a profit to us rather than an ornament to yourself:
if two talents of silver are given to me, counted into my hand,
I will give you this night gratis as a favor for honor’s sake.
A. What if it is not? C. I will believe it is not for you; she will go to another, however.

195
A. Vbi illaec quae dedi ante? C. Abusa. nam si ea durarent mihi,
mulier mitteretur ad te, numquam quicquam poscerem.

195
A. Where are those things that I gave before? C. Used up. For if those lasted for me,
the woman would be sent to you; I would never ask for anything.

diem aquam solem lunam noctem, haec argento non emo:
ceterum quae volumus uti Graeca mercamur fide.
quom a pistore panem petimus, vinum ex oenopolio,

day water sun moon night, these I do not buy with silver:
but as for the rest, the things we wish to use, we purchase on Greek faith.
when we ask bread from the baker, wine from the wine‑shop,

200
si aes habent, dant mercem: eadem nos discipulina utimur.
semper oculatae manus sunt nostrae, credunt quod vident.
vetus est: 'nihili coactiost' — scis cuius.

200
if they have cash, they give the merchandise: we use the same disciplina.
our hands are always sharp‑eyed; they believe what they see.
it’s an old one: ‘coaction is worth nothing’ — you know whose.

non dico amplius.
ARGYR. Aliam nunc mi orationem despoliato praedicas,
longe aliam, inquam, praebes nunc atque olim, quom dabam,

I say no more.
ARGYR. Now, to me despoiled, you proclaim another oration,
by far another, I say, you proffer now than once, when I was giving,

205
aliam atque olim, quom inliciebas me ad te blande ac benedice.
tum mi aedes quoque arridebant, cum ad te veniebam, tuae;
me unice unum ex omnibus te atque illam amare aibas mihi;
ubi quid dederam, quasi columbae pulli in ore ambae meo
usque eratis, meo de studio studia erant vostra omnia,

205
different from formerly, when you were enticing me to you blandly and with fair-speech.
then even your house smiled on me, when I was coming to you, yours;
you used to say to me that you and she loved me uniquely, me alone out of all;
whenever I had given anything, you both were, like dove-chicks, continually at my mouth,
from my zeal, all your affections depended,

210
usque adhaerebatis: quod ego iusseram, quod volueram
faciebatis, quod nolebam ac votueram, de industria
fugiebatis, neque conari id facere audebatis prius.
nunc neque quid velim neque nolim facitis magni, pessumae.
CLEAR. Non tu scis?

210
you kept adhering: what I had ordered, what I had willed
you did; what I did not wish and had forbidden, on purpose
you shunned, nor did you dare to attempt to do that beforehand.
now you make neither what I wish nor what I do not wish of great account, you worst ones.
CLEAR. Do you not know?

hic noster quaestus aucupi simillimust.

This our trade is most similar to a fowler’s.

215
auceps quando concinnavit aream, offundit cibum;
aves adsuescunt: necesse est facere sumptum qui quaerit lucrum;
saepe edunt: semel si sunt captae, rem solvont aucupi.
itidem hic apud nos: aedes nobis area est, auceps sum ego, 219-220
esca est meretrix, lectus inlex est, amatores aves;

215
when the fowler has prepared the catching-ground, he pours out food;
the birds grow accustomed: it is necessary to make expense, whoever seeks profit;
they eat often: if once they are caught, they settle the account for the fowler.
just so here with us: the house is our catching-ground, I am the fowler, 219-220
the bait is the courtesan, the bed is the lure, the lovers are the birds;

221
bene salutando consuescunt, compellando blanditer,
osculando, oratione vinnula, venustula.
si papillam pertractavit, haud est ab re aucupis;
savium si sumpsit, sumere eum licet sine retibus.

221
they are well accustomed by saluting, by addressing coaxingly,
by kissing, with a winsome, pretty oration.
if he has stroked the nipple, it is not out of place for the fowler;
if he has taken a kiss, it is permitted to take him without nets.

225
haecine te esse oblitum, in ludo qui fuisti tam diu?
ARGYR. Tua ista culpa est, quae discipulum semidoctum abs te amoves.
CLEAR. Remeato audacter, mercedem si eris nactus: nunc abi.

225
Have you thus forgotten this, you who have been in school so long?
ARGYR. That is your fault, you who dismiss from yourself a half-taught disciple.
CLEAR. Come back boldly, if you have gotten your fee; now be off.

ARGYR. Mane, mane, audi. dic, quid me aequom censes pro illa tibi dare,
annum hunc ne cum quiquam alio sit? CLEAR. Tene?

ARGYR. Wait, wait, listen. Say, what do you judge equitable that I give you for her,
that this year she be with no one else? CLEAR. You?

viginti minas;

twenty minae;

230
atque ea lege: si alius ad me prius attulerit, tu vale.
A. At ego est etiam prius quam abis quod volo loqui. C. Dic quod lubet.

230
and on this condition: if another brings it to me first, farewell to you.
A. But I—there is also, before you go, something I wish to say. C. Say what you please.

A. Non omnino iam perii, est relicuom quo peream magis.
habeo unde istuc tibi quod poscis dem; sed in leges meas
dabo, uti scire possis, perpetuom annum hunc mihi uti serviat

A. Not altogether have I perished now; there remains something by which I may perish more.
I have the means whence to give you that which you demand; but on my own terms
I will give, so that you may know, that this whole year shall serve me perpetually

235
nec quemquam interea alium admittat prorsus quam me ad se virum.
CLEAR. Quin, si tu voles, domi servi qui sunt castrabo viros.
postremo ut voles nos esse, syngraphum facito adferas;
ut voles, ut tibi lubebit, nobis legem imponito:
modo tecum una argentum adferto, facile patiar cetera.

235
and that meanwhile she admit absolutely no other man to herself than me.
CLEAR. Why, if you wish, I’ll even castrate the male slaves who are at my house.
finally, as you would have us be, see that you bring a contract;
as you will, as it shall please you, lay the law upon us:
only bring the silver along with you, I will easily put up with the rest.

240
portitorum simillumae sunt ianuae lenoniae:
si adfers, tum patent, si non est quod des, aedes non patent.—
ARGYR. Interii, si non invenio ego illas viginti minas,
et profecto, nisi illud perdo argentum, pereundum est mihi.
nunc pergam ad forum atque experiar opibus, omni copia,

240
the leno’s doorways are most like those of portitors (toll-collectors):
if you bring, then they stand open; if there isn’t what you can give, the house does not stand open.—
ARGYR. I’m undone, if I don’t find those twenty minas,
and assuredly, unless I lose that silver, it’s all over with me.
now I’ll go on to the forum and try by resources, by every resource,

245
supplicabo, exobsecrabo ut quemque amicum videro,
dignos indignos adire atque experiri certumst mihi,~
nam si mutuas non potero, certumst sumam faenore.—

245
I will supplicate, I will beseech, as I see each friend,
it is resolved for me to approach and to try the worthy and the unworthy,~
for if I cannot get it by loans, it is resolved I will take it at interest.—

ACTVS II

ACT 2

II.i
LIBANVS Hercle vero, Libane, nunc te meliust expergiscier
atque argento comparando fingere fallaciam.

II.i
LIBANUS By Hercules indeed, Libanus, now it’s better for you to wake up
and to fashion a deception for acquiring silver.

250
iam diu est factum quom discesti ab ero atque abiisti ad forum,
[igitur inveniundo argento ut fingeres fallaciam.]
ibi tu ad hoc diei tempus dormitasti in otio.
quin tu abs te socordiam omnem reice et segnitiem amove
atque ad ingenium vetus versutum te recipis tuom.

250
it has been a long time since you left the master and went off to the forum,
[therefore, for finding silver, that you might forge a deception.]
there you have dozed in leisure up to this time of day.
why don’t you cast off from yourself all slothfulness and remove sluggishness
and return to your old, versatile ingenuity.

255
serva erum, cave tu idem faxis alii quod servi solent,
qui ad eri fraudationem callidum ingenium gerunt.
unde sumam? quem intervortam?

255
keep your master safe; take care you do not do the same to him that slaves are wont,
who employ a cunning ingenuity for the defrauding of the master.
From where shall I get it? whom shall I intervert?

quo hanc celocem conferam?
impetritum, inauguratumst: quovis admittunt aves,
picus et cornix ab laeva, corvos parra ab dextera

Where am I to take this swift boat?
It has been impetrated, it has been inaugurated: the birds admit it whithersoever,
the woodpecker and the crow on the left, the ravens and the parra on the right

260
consuadent; certum herclest vostram consequi sententiam.
sed quid hoc, quod picus ulmum tundit? non temerariumst.

260
they counsel; by Hercules, I am resolved to follow your opinion.
but what is this, that the woodpecker is pounding the elm? it is not by chance.

certe hercle ego quantum ex augurio eius pici intellego,
aut mihi in mundo sunt virgae aut atriensi Saureae.
sed quid illuc, quod exanimatus currit huc Leonida?

surely, by Hercules, as much as I understand from the augury of that woodpecker,
either the rods are in readiness for me, or for Saurea the atriensis (steward).
but what’s that, that Leonida runs here breathless?

265
metuo quom illic obscaevavit meae falsae fallaciae.

265
I fear, since that fellow has proved ill-omened for my false fallacy.

II.ii
LEONIDA Vbi ego nunc Libanum requiram aut familiarem filium,
ut ego illos lubentiores faciam quam Lubentiast?
maximam praedam et triumphum eis adfero adventu meo.
quando mecum pariter potant, pariter scortari solent,

II.ii
LEONIDA Where am I now to look for Libanus, or the master’s son,
so that I may make them more willing than Lubentia is?
I bring them the greatest prey and a triumph by my arrival.
since when they drink together with me, they are wont equally to wench,

270
hanc quidem, quam nactus, praedam pariter cum illis partiam.
LIB. Illic homo aedis compilavit, more si fecit suo.
vae illi, qui tam indiligenter observavit ianuam.

270
This booty indeed, which I have gotten, I will share equally with them.
LIB. That fellow has plundered the house, if he acted according to his own custom.
woe to the one who so carelessly kept watch over the door.

LEON. Aetatem velim servire, Libanum ut conveniam modo.
LIB. Mea quidem hercle opera liber numquam fies ocius.

LEON. I would be willing to serve for a lifetime, if only I might meet Libanus now.
LIB. By Hercules, by my agency you will never become free any sooner.

275
LEON. Etiam de tergo ducentas plagas praegnatis dabo.
LIB. Largitur peculium, omnem in tergo thensaurum gerit.
LEON. Nam si huic sese occasioni tempus supterduxerit,
numquam edepol quadrigis albis indipiscet postea;
erum in obsidione linquet, inimicum animos auxerit.

275
LEON. Even on your back I will give two hundred pregnant lashes.
LIB. He lavishes the peculium; he carries the whole treasure on his back.
LEON. For if time shall have slipped away from this opportunity,
by Pollux, he will never afterwards obtain a white four-horse chariot;
he will leave the master under siege, he will have augmented the spirits of the enemy.

280
sed si mecum occasionem opprimere hanc, quae obvenit, studet,
maximas opimitates, gaudio exfertissimas
suis eris ille una mecum pariet, gnatoque et patri,
adeo ut aetatem ambo ambobus nobis sint obnoxii,
nostro devincti beneficio. LIB. Vinctos nescio quos ait;

280
but if he is eager to seize with me this opportunity that has supervened,
the greatest opulences, most overflowing with joy,
he together with me will bring forth for his masters, for the son and the father,
to such a degree that for a lifetime both will be beholden to us both,
bound by our benefaction. LIB. He says some bound men; I know not whom;

285
non placet: metuo, in commune ne quam fraudem frausus sit.
LEON. Perii ego oppido, nisi Libanum invenio iam, ubiubi est gentium.
LIB. Illic homo socium ad malam rem quaerit quem adiungat sibi.

285
it does not please: I fear, to our common detriment, lest he has practiced some fraud.
LEON. I am utterly undone, unless I find Libanus now, wherever in the world he is.
LIB. That fellow is seeking an associate for a bad affair to attach to himself.

non placet: pro monstro extemplo est, quando qui sudat tremit.
LEON. Sed quid ego hic properans concesso pedibus, lingua largior? 290
quin ego hanc iubeo tacere, quae loquens lacerat diem?
LIB. Edepol hominem infelicem, qui patronam comprimat.

it is not pleasing: it is at once a prodigy, when the one who sweats trembles.
LEON. But why, as I hurry here, with leave granted to my feet, am I lavish with my tongue? 290
why don’t I order this woman to be silent, who by speaking lacerates the day?
LIB. By Pollux, the unlucky man who would repress his patroness.

nam si quid sceleste fecit, lingua pro illo perierat.
LEON. Adproperabo, ne post tempus praedae praesidium parem.
LIB. Quae illaec praeda est?

for if he did anything wickedly, his tongue would have perished for him.
LEON. I will hasten, lest I furnish the booty’s protection too late.
LIB. What is that booty?

ibo advorsum atque electabo, quidquid est.

I will go to face it and elicit it, whatever it is.

295
iubeo te salvere voce summa, quo ad vires valent.
LEON. Gymnasium flagri, salveto. LIB. Quid agis, custos carceris?

295
I bid you be well with my highest voice, so far as my strengths avail.
LEON. Gymnasium of the whip, hail. LIB. How are you, custodian of the prison?

LEON. O catenarum colone. LIB. O virgarum lascivia.
LEON. Quot pondo ted esse censes nudum?

LEON. O colonist of chains. LIB. O lasciviousness of the rods.
LEON. How many pounds do you reckon yourself to be, naked?

LIB. Non edepol scio.
LEON. Scibam ego te nescire, at pol ego, qui ted expendi, scio:

LIB. By Pollux, I do not know.
LEON. I knew that you did not know; but by Pollux I, who weighed you, do know:

300
nudus vinctus centum pondo es, quando pendes per pedes.
LIB. Quo argumento istuc? LEON. Ego dicam, quo argumento et quo modo.

300
naked and bound you are a hundred pounds, when you hang by the feet.
LIB. By what argument is that? LEON. I will say, by what argument and in what mode.

ad pedes quando adligatumst aequom centumpondium,
ubi manus manicae complexae sunt atque adductae ad trabem,
nec dependes nec propendes — quin malus nequamque sis.

when a hundredweight is fastened to your feet,
when the hand-manacles have clasped and been drawn to the beam,
you neither hang down nor hang forward — surely you are a wicked and worthless man.

305
LIB. Vae tibi. LEON. Hoc testamento Servitus legat tibi.
LIB. Verbivelitationem fieri compendi volo.

305
LIB. Woe to you. LEON. By this testament Servitus bequeaths it to you.
LIB. I want the word-skirmishing to be cut short.

Quid istud est negoti? LEON. Certum est credere. LIB. Audacter licet.

What is that business? LEON. It is settled to extend credit. LIB. You may, boldly.

LEON. Sis amanti subvenire familiari filio,
tantum adest boni improviso, verum commixtum malo:

LEON. Be willing to succor a loving familiar friend, your son,
so much good is at hand unforeseen, but indeed commixed with ill:

310
omnes de nobis carnificum concelebrabuntur dies.
Libane, nunc audacia usust nobis inventa et dolis.
tantum facinus modo inveni ego, ut nos dicamur duo
omnium dignissumi esse, quo cruciatus confluant.

310
all the days of the hangmen will be celebrated on account of us.
Libanus, now there is need for us of audacity and of wiles.
I have just devised such a deed, that we two may be said
to be, of all, the most deserving ones for tortures to converge upon.

LIB. Ergo mirabar quod dudum scapulae gestibant mihi,

LIB. So I was wondering why just now my shoulder-blades were jigging for me,

315
hariolari quae occeperunt, sibi esse in mundo malum.
quidquid est, eloquere. LEON. Magna est praeda cum magno malo.

315
and to prophesy, as they have begun, that there is an evil in the world for themselves.
Whatever it is, speak out. LEON. Great is the prey with great evil.

LIB. Si quidem omnes coniurati cruciamenta conferant,
habeo opinor familiare tergum, ne quaeram foris.
LEON. Si istam firmitudinem animi optines, salvi sumus.

LIB. If indeed all the conspirators should bring together torments,
I have, I suppose, a domestic back, that I need not seek abroad.
LEON. If you maintain that firmness of spirit, we are safe.

320
LIB. Quin si tergo res solvenda est, rapere cupio publicum:
pernegabo atque obdurabo, periurabo denique.
LEON. Em ista virtus est, quando usust qui malum fert fortiter;
fortiter malum qui patitur, idem post potitur bonum.
LIB. Quin rem actutum edisseris?

320
LIB. Why then, if the matter is to be solved with the back, I desire to snatch the public funds: I will flatly deny and be obdurate, I will perjure myself at last.
LEON. See, that is virtue, when there is need for one who bears an evil bravely; he who bravely suffers an evil, the same afterward obtains a good.
LIB. Why not expound the matter forthwith?

cupio malum nanciscier.

I desire to get a beating.

325
LEON. Placide ergo unum quidquid rogita, ut adquiescam. non vides
me ex cursura anhelitum etiam ducere? LIB. Age, age, mansero
tuo arbitratu, vel adeo usque dum peris.

325
LEON. Calmly then, ask just one thing, whatever it is, so that I may catch my breath. not do you see
me still drawing breath from a run? LIB. Come, come, I will wait
at your discretion, or even until you perish.

LEON. Vbinam est erus?
LIB. Maior apud forumst, minor hic est intus. LEON. Iam satis est mihi.

LEON. Where, pray, is the master?
LIB. The elder is at the forum, the younger is inside here. LEON. Now it is sufficient for me.

LIB. Tum igitur tu dives es factus? LEON. Mitte ridicularia.

LIB. So then, have you become rich? LEON. Leave off the ridiculousness.

330
LIB. Mitto. *** istuc quod adfers aures exspectant meae.
LE. Animum adverte, ut aeque mecum haec scias.

330
LIB. I’ll drop it. *** That which you bring, my ears expect.
LE. Turn your mind, so that you may know these things equally with me.

LI. Taceo. LE. Beas.
meministin asinos Arcadicos mercatori Pellaeo
nostrum vendere atriensem?

LI. I am silent. LE.
Bless you.
Do you remember our steward selling the Arcadian asses to the Pellaean merchant?

LIB. Memini. quid tum postea? 334-335
LEON. Em ergo is argentum huc remisit, quod daretur Saureae

LIB. I remember. what then after that? 334-335
LEON. Look then: he sent the silver here, to be given to Saurea

336
pro asinis. adulescens venit modo, qui id argentum attulit.
LIB. Vbi is homost?

336
for the donkeys. A young man just came, who brought that money.
LIB. Where is that fellow?

LEON. Iam devorandum censes, si conspexeris?
LIB. Ita enim vero. sed tamen, tu nempe eos asinos praedicas
vetulos, claudos, quibus subtritae ad femina iam erant ungulae?

LEON. Do you think it should be devoured at once, if you have caught sight of it?
LIB. Yes indeed. but yet, you surely proclaim those asses old, lame, whose hooves had already been worn down as far as the thighs?

340
LEON. Ipsos, qui tibi subvectabant rure huc virgas ulmeas.
LIB. Teneo, atque idem te hinc vexerunt vinctum rus. LE. Memor es probe.

340
LEON. The very ones who were hauling elm rods up here for you from the countryside.
LIB. I grasp it, and the same ones dragged you from here, bound, to the country. LE. You remember well.

verum in tonstrina ut sedebam, me infit percontarier,
ecquem filium Stratonis noverim Demaenetum.
dico me novisse extemplo et me eius servom praedico

But as I was sitting in the barbershop, he begins to inquire of me,
whether I know Strato’s son, Demaenetus.
I say I know him at once, and I proclaim myself his servant.

345
esse, et aedis demonstravi nostras. LIB. Quid tum postea?
LEON. Ait se ob asinos ferre argentum atriensi Saureae,
viginti minas, sed eum sese non nosse hominem qui siet,
ipsum vero se novisse callide Demaenetum.

345
to be, and I pointed out our house. LIB. What then after that?
LEON. He says that on account of the asses he is carrying silver to Saurea’s steward,
twenty minas, but that he did not know who the man might be,
but that he did indeed know Demaenetus quite well.

quoniam ille elocutus haec sic — LIB. Quid tum? LEON. Ausculta ergo, scies. 350
extemplo facio facetum me atque magnificum virum,
dico med esse atriensem.

since he had spoken these things thus — LIB. What then? LEON. Listen then, you will know. 350
at once I make myself a facetious and magnificent man,
I say that I am the atrium-steward.

sic hoc respondit mihi:
'ego pol Sauream non novi neque qua facie sit scio.
te non aequomst suscensere. si erum vis Demaenetum,
quem ego novi, adduce: argentum non morabor quin feras.'

so he answered me thus:
'By Pollux, I do not know Saurea nor do I know what face he has.
it is not equitable for you to be angry. if you want the master Demaenetus,
whom I know, bring him along: I will not delay your bringing the silver.'

355
ego me dixi erum adducturum et me domi praesto fore;
ille in balineas iturust, inde huc veniet postea.
quid nunc consili captandum censes? dic.

355
i said i would bring the master and that i would be at the ready at home;
he is going to the baths; from there he will come here afterward.
what counsel do you think is now to be taken? say.

LIB. Em istuc ago,
quo modo argento intervortam et adventorem et Sauream.
iam hoc opus est ~ exasceatum; nam si ille argentum prius

LIB. Look, that’s what I’m after,
how with silver I might turn around both the visitor and Saurea.
now this job needs to be planed smooth ~; for if he gets the silver first

360
hospes huc affert, continuo nos ambo exclusi sumus.
nam me hodie senex seduxit solum sorsum ab aedibus,
mihi tibique interminatust nos futuros ulmeos,
ni hodie Argyrippo essent viginti argenti minae;
iussit vel nos atriensem vel nos uxorem suam

360
the host brings it here; immediately we both were shut out.
for today the old man drew me aside, alone, apart from the house,
and threatened me and you that we should taste the elm,
unless today there were twenty minas of silver for Argyrippus;
he ordered either us the steward or us his own wife

365
defraudare, dixit sese operam promiscam dare.
nunc tu abi ad forum ad erum et narra haec ut nos acturi sumus:
te ex Leonida futurum esse atriensem Sauream,
dum argentum afferat mercator pro asinis. LEON. Faciam ut iubes.

365
to defraud, he said he would give his service promiscuously.
now you go off to the forum to the master and tell these things as we are going to act:
that you, out of Leonidas, will be Saurea the steward,
until the merchant brings the silver for the asses. LEON. I will do as you bid.

LIB. Ego illum interea hic oblectabo, prius si forte advenerit.

LIB. Meanwhile I will amuse him here, if perhaps he arrives first.

370
LEON. Quid ais? LIB. Quid vis? LE. Pugno malam si tibi percussero,
mox cum Sauream imitabor, caveto ne suscenseas.

370
LEON. What do you say? LIB. What do you want? LE. If I smite you a wicked blow with my fist,
soon, when I imitate Saurea, beware lest you grow incensed.

LIB. Hercle vero tu cavebis ne me attingas, si sapis,
ne hodie malo cum auspicio nomen commutaveris.
LEON. Quaeso, aequo animo patitor. L. Patitor tu item, cum ego te referiam.

LIB. By Hercules, indeed you will take care not to touch me, if you are wise,
lest today you change your name under an ill auspice.
LEON. Please, endure it with an even temper. L. You endure likewise, when I pay you back.

375
LEON. Dico ut usust fieri. LIB. Dico hercle ego quoque ut facturus sum.
LEON. Ne nega.

375
LEON. I say as is needful to be done. LIB. By Hercules, I too say as I am about to do.
LEON. Do not deny.

LIB. Quin promitto, inquam, hostire contra ut merueris.
LEON. Ego abeo, tu iam, scio, patiere. sed quis hic est?

LIB. Why, I promise, I say, to requite in return as you have merited.
LEON. I am going; you now, I know, will suffer it. But who is this here?

is est,
ille est ipsus. iam ego recurro huc. tu hunc interea hic tene.

he is, it is,
that one is the very same. now i’ll run back here. you meanwhile hold this fellow here.

volo seni narrare. LIB. Quin tuom officium facis ergo ac fugis?

I want to tell the old man. LIB. Why, you do your duty then, and run away?

380

II.iii
MERCATOR Vt demonstratae sunt mihi, hasce aedis esse oportet,
Demaenetus ubi dicitur habitare. i, puere, pulta
atque atriensem Sauream, si est intus, evocato huc.
LIB. Quis nostras sic frangit fores?

2.3
MERCATOR As they have been pointed out to me, this must be the house where Demaenetus is said to dwell. Go, boy, knock, and call the atriensis Saurea out here, if he is inside.
LIB. Who is breaking our doors like this?

ohe, inquam, si quid audis.
MERC. Nemo etiam tetigit. sanun es? LIB. At censebam attigisse

hey, I say, if you hear anything.
MERCH. No one has even touched (them). Are you sane? SLAVE. But I was supposing
to have touched (them)

385
propterea, huc quia habebas iter. nolo ego fores conservas
meas a te verberarier. sane ego sum amicus nostris.

385
for that reason, because you had your journey here. I do not want either the doors or my fellow-slave women to be beaten by you. Truly I am a friend to our own.

MERC. Pol haud periclum est, cardines ne foribus effringantur,
si istoc exemplo omnibus qui quaerunt respondebis.
LIB. Ita haec morata est ianua: extemplo ianitorem

MERC. By Pollux, there’s no danger, that the hinges be broken from the doors,
if in that fashion you answer all who inquire.
LIB. So this door is of such a habit: straightway the doorkeeper

390
clamat, procul si quem videt ire ad se calcitronem.
sed quid venis? quid quaeritas?

390
she shouts for the janitor, if from afar she sees anyone going toward her as a kicker.
but why do you come? what are you seeking?

MERC. Demaenetum volebam.
LIB. Si sit domi, dicam tibi. MERC. Quid eius atriensis?

MERC. I was wanting Demaenetus.
LIB. If he is at home, I will tell you. MERC. What about his steward?

LIB. Nihilo mage intus est. MERC. Vbi est? LIB. Ad tonsorem ire dixit.

LIB. He’s none the more inside. MERC. Where is he? LIB. He said he was going to the barber.

MERC. Conveni. sed post non redit? LIB. Non edepol.

MERC. I met him. But after, has he not returned? LIB. No, by Pollux.

quid volebas?

what did you want?

395
MERC. Argenti viginti minas, si adesset, accepisset.
LIB. Qui pro istuc? MERC. Asinos vendidit Pellaeo mercatori
mercatu.

395
MERCH. He would have received twenty minas of silver, if he were present.
LIB. How so, for that? MERCH. He sold asses to a Pellaean merchant
at the market.

LIB. Scio. tu id nunc refers? iam hic credo eum adfuturum.

LIB. I know. Are you now reporting that? I believe he’ll be here presently.

MERC. Qua facie voster Saurea est? si is est, iam scire potero.
LIB. Macilentis malis, rufulus aliquantum, ventriosus,

MERC. What sort of face has your Saurea? If it is he, I shall be able to know at once.
LIB. With lean cheeks, somewhat rufous, pot-bellied,

400
truculentis oculis, commoda statura, tristi fronte.
MERC. Non potuit pictor rectius describere eius formam.
LIB. Atque hercle ipsum adeo contuor, quassanti capite incedit.

400
with truculent eyes, of suitable stature, with a grim brow.
MERC. A painter could not have described his form more exactly.
LIB. And by Hercules, I actually espy the man himself; he advances with his head shaking.

quisque obviam huic occesserit irato, vapulabit.
MERC. Siquidem hercle Aeacidinis minis animisque expletus incedit,

whoever has come to meet this man, angry, will be beaten.
MERC. Indeed, by Hercules, he advances filled with Aeacidean menaces and spirit,

405
si med iratus tetigerit, iratus vapulabit.

405
if he touches me in anger, in anger he will be beaten.

II.iv
LEONIDA Quid hoc sit negoti, neminem meum dictum magni facere?
Libanum in tonstrinam ut iusseram venire, is nullus venit.
ne ille edepol tergo et cruribus consuluit haud decore.

2.4
LEONIDA What is this business, that no one makes much of my word?
I had ordered Libanus to come to the barbershop, and he did not come at all.
By Pollux, surely that fellow has consulted for his back and legs, not decorously.

MERC. Nimis imperiosust. LIB. Vae mihi. LEON. Hodie salvere iussi

MERC. Far too imperious. LIB. Woe is me. LEON. Today I bade him be well

410
Libanum libertum? iam manu emissu's? LIB. Obsecro te.
LEON. Ne tu hercle cum magno malo mihi obviam occessisti.
cur non venisti, ut iusseram, in tonstrinam?

410
Libanus a freedman? Are you already manumitted? LIB. I beseech you.
LEON. By Hercules, you have come up against me to my great harm.
why did you not come, as I had ordered, into the barbershop?

LIB. Hic me moratust.
LEON. Siquidem hercle nunc summum Iovem te dicas detinuisse
atque is precator adsiet, malam rem effugies numquam.

LIB. He has detained me here.
LEON. Even if, by Hercules, you were now to say that Highest Jove detained you, and if he himself were present as an intercessor, you would never escape a bad business.

415
tu, verbero, imperium meum contempsisti? LIB. Perii, hospes.
MERC. Quaeso hercle noli, Saurea, mea causa hunc verberare.

415
you, whipping-post, have you contemned my authority? LIB. I’m done for, stranger.
MERC. By Hercules, I beg you, Saurea, do not whip this man on my account.

LEON. Vtinam nunc stimulus in manu mihi sit. MERC. Quiesce quaeso.
LEON. Qui latera conteram tua, quae occalluere plagis.

LEON. If only now a stimulus-goad were in my hand. MERC. Be quiet, I beg.
LEON. So that I might crush your sides, which have grown callous to blows.

abscede ac sine me hunc perdere, qui semper me ira incendit,

withdraw and allow me to destroy this man, who always inflames me with wrath,

420
cui numquam unam rem me licet semel praecipere furi,
quin centiens eadem imperem atque ogganniam, itaque iam hercle
clamore ac stomacho non queo labori suppeditare.
iussin, sceleste, ab ianua hoc stercus hinc auferri?
iussin columnis deici operas araneorum?

420
to whom it is never permitted me to give even one instruction once, you thief,
without my ordering the same things a hundred times and snarling; and so now, by Hercules,
with clamor and choler I cannot supply to the toil.
did I order, scoundrel, that this filth be carried off from the doorway here?
did I order the works of spiders to be cast down from the columns?

425
iussin in splendorem dari bullas has foribus nostris?
nihil est: tamquam si claudus sim, cum fustist ambulandum.
quia triduom hoc unum modo foro operam adsiduam dedo,
dum reperiam qui quaeritet argentum in faenus, hic vos
dormitis interea domi, atque erus in hara, haud aedibus, habitat.

425
Did I order these bullae, these door-bosses, to be brought to a shine for our doors?
It is nothing: just as if I were lame, one must walk with a cudgel.
Because for this one three-day period I devote constant attendance to the forum,
while I may find someone who is seeking to put money out at interest, here you
sleep meanwhile at home, and the master lives in a sty, not in a house.

430
em ergo hoc tibi. LIB. Hospes, te obsecro, defende. MERC. Saurea, oro,
mea causa ut mittas.

430
Here then—this for you. LIB. Stranger, I implore you, defend me. MERC. Saurea, I beg,
that for my sake you let him go.

LEON. Eho, ecquis pro vectura olivi
rem solvit? LIB. Solvit. LEON. Cui datumst?

LEON. Hey, has anyone paid the amount for the carriage of the oil?
LIB. He paid. LEON. To whom was it given?

LIB. Sticho vicario ipsi
tuo. LEON. Vah, delenire apparas, scio mihi vicarium esse,
neque eo esse servom in aedibus eri qui sit pluris quam illest.

LIB. To Sticho, your own vicarius.
LEON. Bah, you are trying to soothe; I know I have a vicarius,
nor is there a slave in the master’s house who is worth more than he is.

435
sed vina quae heri vendidi vinario Exaerambo,
iam pro eis satis fecit Sticho? LIB. Fecisse satis opinor,
nam vidi huc ipsum adducere trapezitam Exaerambum.
LEON. Sic dedero.

435
but the wines which yesterday I sold to the wine-merchant Exaerambus,
has Sticho now made satisfaction for them? LIB. I think he has made satisfaction,
for I saw him bring here the banker Exaerambus.
LEON. So I will hand it over.

prius quae credidi vix anno post exegi;
nunc satagit: adducit domum etiam ultro et scribit nummos.

what I formerly credited I scarcely exacted a year afterward;
now he bustles: he even brings him home unbidden and writes down the monies.

440
Dromo mercedem rettulit? LIB. Dimidio minus opinor.
LEON. Quid relicuom?

440
Did Dromo bring back the wages? LIB. By half less, I suppose.
LEON. What is the remainder?

LIB. Aibat reddere quom extemplo redditum esset;
nam retineri, ut quod sit sibi operis locatum efficeret.
LEON. Scyphos quos utendos dedi Philodamo, rettulitne?
LIB. Non etiam.

LIB. He said he would render it when forthwith it had been rendered;
for he is being retained, so that he may effect the work that has been contracted to him.
LEON. The goblets which I gave to Philodamus for use, has he brought them back?
LIB. Not yet.

LEON. Hem non? si velis da *** , commoda homini amico.

LEON. What, not? If you please, give ***, accommodate a friendly man.

445
MERC. Perii hercle, iam hic me abegerit suo odio. LIB. Heus iam satis tu.
audin quae loquitur? LEON. Audio et quiesco.

445
MERC. I’m ruined, by Hercules; now this fellow will have driven me away by his hatred. LIB. Hey, now, enough, you.
Do you hear what he’s saying? LEON. I hear and I keep quiet.

MERC. Tandem, opinor,
conticuit. nunc adeam optimum est, prius quam incipit tinnire.
quam mox mi operam das?

MERC. At last, I suppose,
he has fallen silent. Now it is best I go to him, before he begins to ring.
How soon will you give me your attention?

LEON. Ehem, optume. quam dudum tu advenisti?
non hercle te provideram (quaeso, ne vitio vortas),

LEON. Ahem, excellent. How long ago did you arrive?
By Hercules, I had not foreseen you (I beg, do not turn it into a fault),

450
ita iracundia obstitit oculis. MERC. Non mirum factum est.
sed si domi est, Demaenetum volebam.

450
thus anger obstructed my eyes. MERC. No wonder it happened.
but if he is at home, I was wanting Demaenetus.

LEON. Negat esse intus.
verum istuc argentum tamen mihi si vis denumerare,
repromittam istoc nomine solutam rem futuram.
MERC. Sic potius, ut Demaeneto tibi ero praesente reddam.

LEON. He denies being within.
but if you wish to count out that silver to me,
I will promise in return that on that account the matter shall be discharged.
MERC. Rather this way: that I repay it to Demaenetus, with your master present.

455
LIB. Erus istunc novit atque erum hic. MERC. Ero huic praesente reddam.
LIB. Da modo meo periculo, rem salvam ego exhibebo;
nam si sciat noster senex fidem non esse huic habitam,
suscenseat, quoi omnium rerum ipsus semper credit.

455
LIB. The master knows that fellow, and this man knows the master. MERC. I will render it back to this man with the master present.
LIB. Only give it at my risk; I will exhibit the matter safe;
for if our old man should know that credit has not been extended to this man,
he would be incensed, he who himself always credits him in all matters.

LEON. Non magni pendo. ne duit, si non volt. sic sine astet.

LEON. I do not value it greatly. let him not give, if he does not will. let him stand by thus without it.

460
LIB. Da, inquam. vah, formido miser, ne hic me tibi arbitretur
suasisse, sibi ne crederes. da, quaeso, ac ne formida:
salvom hercle erit.

460
LIB. Give, I say. Faugh, I, poor wretch, fear lest this fellow suppose
that I urged you not to trust him. Give, I beg, and do not fear:
by Hercules, it will be safe.

MERC. Credam fore, dum quidem ipse in manu habebo.
peregrinus ego sum, Sauream non novi. LIB. At nosce sane.

MERC. I will believe it will be so, so long as I myself have it in hand.
I am a foreigner; I do not know Saurea. LIB. But get to know him, by all means.

MERC. Sit, non sit, non edepol scio. si is est, eum esse oportet.

MERC. Be it, be it not, by Pollux I do not know. If that is he, he must be he.

465
ego certe me incerto scio hoc daturum nemini homini.
LEON. Hercle istum di omnes perduint. verbo cave supplicassis.

465
I, certainly, though uncertain, know that I will give this to no human being.
LEON. By Hercules, may all the gods utterly destroy that fellow. Beware you don’t supplicate even in a word.

ferox est viginti minas meas tractare sese.
nemo accipit, aufer te domum, abscede hinc, molestus ne sis.
MERC. Nimis iracunde.

He is over-bold to handle my twenty minas himself.
No one accepts it; take yourself home, depart from here, do not be troublesome.
MERC. Too irascibly.

non decet superbum esse hominem servom.

It is not decent for a slave to be haughty.

470
LEON. Malo hercle iam magno tuo, ni isti nec recte dicis.
LIB. Impure, nihili. non vides irasci?

470
LEON. By Hercules, you’ll get a thrashing now, to your great hurt, unless you speak properly to him.
LIB. Impure, a nobody. Don’t you see he’s getting angry?

LEON. Perge porro.
LIB. Flagitium hominis. da, obsecro, argentum huic, ne male loquatur.

LEON. Proceed further.
LIB. A flagitious man. Give, I beseech you, silver to him, lest he speak ill.

MERC. Malum hercle vobis quaeritis. LEON. Crura hercle diffringentur,
ni istum impudicum percies. LIB. Perii hercle.

MERC. By Hercules, you are seeking an evil for yourselves. LEON. The legs, by Hercules, will be broken,
unless you strike that impudent fellow. LIB. By Hercules, I’m ruined.

age impudice,

come on, impudent one,

475
sceleste, non audes mihi scelesto subvenire?
LEON. Pergin precari pessimo? MERC. Quae res?

475
You scoundrel, do you not dare to come to the aid of me, a scoundrel?
LEON. Do you persist in begging, you worst man? MERC. What’s the matter?

tun libero homini
male servos loquere? LEON. Vapula. MERC. Id quidem tibi hercle fiet,
ut vapules, Demaenetum simul ac conspexero hodie.

Do you, a slave, speak ill to a free
man
? LEON. Get flogged. MERC. That indeed will happen to you, by Hercules,
that you be flogged, as soon as I catch sight of Demaenetus today.

[in ius voco te. LEON. Non eo. MERC. Non is? memento. LEON. Memini.

[I call you into court. LEON. I am not going. MERC. You are not going? remember. LEON. I remember.

480
MERC. Dabitur pol supplicium mihi de tergo vostro. LEON. Vae te.
tibi quidem supplicium, carnufex, de nobis detur?~ MERC. Atque etiam
pro dictis vostris maledicis poenae pendentur mi hodie.]
LEON. Quid, verbero? ain tu, furcifer?

480
MERC. By Pollux, punishment will be exacted for me from your backs. LEON. Woe to you.
Shall punishment, hangman, be granted to you from us?~ MERC. And also
for your maledictory words penalties will be paid me today.]
LEON. What, you flogger? do you say so, you gallows-bird?

erum nos fugitare censes? 484-485
ei nunciam ad erum, quo vocas, iam dudum quo volebas.

Do you suppose we are fleeing the master? 484-485
Go now to the master, whither you call, where you have long been wanting.

486
MERC. Nunc demum? tamen numquam hinc feres argenti nummum, nisi me
dare iusserit Demaenetus. LEON. Ita facito, age ambula ergo.

486
MERC. Now at last? Even so, you will never carry off from here a silver coin, unless
Demaenetus orders me to give it. LEON. Do so; come on, walk along then.

tu contumeliam alteri facias, tibi non dicatur?
tam ego homo sum quam tu. ME. Scilicet. ita res est.

you heap contumely on another, and shall nothing be said to you?
I am just as much a man as you. ME. Of course. So the matter stands.

LE. Sequere hac ergo.

LE. Follow this way, then.

490
praefiscini hoc nunc dixerim: nemo etiam me accusavit
merito meo, neque me alter est Athenis hodie quisquam,
cui credi recte aeque putent. MERC. Fortassis. sed tamen me
numquam hodie induces, ut tibi credam hoc argentum ignoto.

490
let me say this now, averting ill omen: no one yet has accused me
with just cause, nor is there anyone else at Athens today
whom they think it equally right to trust as me. MERC. Perhaps. But even so, you
will never today induce me to entrust this silver to you, a stranger.

lupus est homo homini, non homo, quom qualis sit non novit.

a man is a wolf to man, not a man, when he does not know of what sort he is.

495
LEON. Iam nunc secunda mihi facis. scibam huic te capitulo hodie
facturum satis pro iniuria; quamquam ego sum sordidatus,
frugi tamen sum, nec potest peculium enumerari.
MERC. Fortasse.

495
LEON. Even now you are making things go well for me. I knew that today on this charge you would make due satisfaction for the injury; although I am shabby-clad, yet I am frugal, and the peculium cannot be enumerated.
MERC. Perhaps.

LEON. Etiam ~ nunc dico Periphanes Rhodo mercator dives
absente ero solus mihi talentum argenti soli

LEON. Even ~ now I say Periphanes at Rhodes, a rich merchant,
with the master absent, alone—to me alone—a talent of silver

500
adnumeravit et mihi credidit, nequest deceptus in eo.
MERC. Fortasse. LEON. Atque etiam tu quoque ipse, si esses percontatus
me ex aliis, scio pol crederes nunc quod fers. MERC. Haud negassim.—

500
he counted out and entrusted to me, nor was he deceived in that.
MERC. Perhaps. LEON. And even you yourself too, if you had inquired
about me from others, I know, by Pollux, you would now believe what you allege. MERC. I would not deny it.—

ACTVS III

ACT 3

III.i
CLEARETA Nequeon ego ted interdictis facere mansuetem meis?
an ita tu es animata, ut qui matris expers imperio sies?

III.i
CLEARETA Can I not make you mansuete by my interdicts?
or are you so animated as to be one devoid of a mother’s authority?

505
PHILAENIVM Vbi piem Pietatem, si istoc more moratam tibi
postulem placere, mater, mihi quo pacto praecipis?
[CLEAR. An decorum est adversari meis te praeceptis? PHIL. Quid est?]
CLEAR. Hocine est pietatem colere, matris imperium minuere?

505
PHILAENIVM Where is pious Piety, if, delayed in that fashion, I should ask that she be pleasing to you—mother, how do you instruct me?
[CLEAR. Is it decorous to be adverse to my precepts? PHIL. What is it?]
CLEAR. Is this to cultivate piety, to diminish a mother’s imperium?

PHIL. Neque quae recte faciunt culpo neque quae delinquont amo.

PHIL. I neither blame those who do right nor love delinquents.

510
CLEAR. Satis dicacula es amatrix. PHIL. Mater, is quaestus mihi est:
lingua poscit, corpus quaerit; animus orat, res monet.
CLEAR. Ego te volui castigare, tu mi accusatrix ades.

510
CLEAR. You are quite saucy-tongued, mistress. PHIL. Mother, that is my trade:
the tongue asks, the body seeks; the mind entreats, the affair prompts.
CLEAR. I wished to castigate you; you stand here as my accuser.

PHIL. Neque edepol te accuso neque id me facere fas existimo.
verum ego meas queror fortunas, cum illo quem amo prohibeor.

PHIL. Nor, by Pollux, do I accuse you, nor do I consider it right for me to do that.
But I lament my fortunes, since I am kept from the one whom I love.

515
CLEAR. Ecqua pars orationis de die dabitur mihi?
PHIL. Et meam partem loquendi et tuam trado tibi;
ad loquendum atque ad tacendum tute habeas portisculum.
quin pol si reposivi remum, sola ego in casteria
ubi quiesco, omnis familiae causa consistit tibi.

515
CLEAR. Will any part of speaking be given to me today?
PHIL. Both my share of speaking and yours I hand over to you;
for speaking and for keeping silence you yourself may have the little gate (wicket).
indeed, by Pollux, once I have stowed the oar, I—alone in the camp-quarters where I rest—the whole household’s business depends on you.

520
CLEAR. Quid ais tu, quam ego unam vidi mulierem audacissimam?
quotiens te votui Argyrippum filium Demaeneti
compellare aut contrectare, conloquive aut contui?
quid dedit?

520
CLEAR. What do you say—you, whom I have seen as the single most audacious woman?
How many times did I forbid you to address or to contact Argyrippus, the son of Demaenetus,
or to converse with him or to contemplate him?
what did he give?

quid ad nos iussit deportari? an tu tibi
verba blanda esse aurum rere, dicta docta pro datis?

what did he order to be brought to us? or do you suppose for yourself
that blandishing words are gold, learned dicta in place of gifts?

525
ultro amas, ultro expetessis, ultro ad te accersi iubes.
illos qui dant, eos derides; qui deludunt, deperis.
an te id exspectare oportet, si quis promittat tibi
te facturum divitem, si moriatur mater sua?
~ecastor nobis periclum magnum et familiae portenditur,

525
unsolicited you love, unsolicited you seek, unsolicited you order that they be summoned to you.
those who give, you deride; those who delude, you perish for.
or ought you to be waiting for this, if someone should promise to you
that you will become rich, if his mother should die?
~by Castor, a great peril is portended to us and to the household,

530
dum eius exspectamus mortem, ne nos moriamur fame.
nunc adeo nisi mi huc argenti adfert viginti minas,
ne ille ecastor hinc trudetur largus lacrumarum foras.
hic dies summust quo est apud me inopiae excusatio.

530
While we await her death, let us not die of hunger.
Now indeed, unless he brings me here twenty minas of silver,
by Castor, that fellow will be shoved from here outdoors, lavish in tears.
This day is the last on which want has an excuse with me.

PHIL. Patiar, si cibo carere me iubes, mater mea.

PHIL. I will endure, if you order me to be without food, my mother.

535
CLEAR. Non voto ted amare qui dant quoia amentur gratia.
PHIL. Quid si hic animus occupatust, mater, quid faciam? mone.

535
CLEAR. I do not want you to love those who give things for the favor by which they may be loved.
PHIL. What if my mind is occupied, mother—what am I to do? Advise me.

C. Em,
meum caput contemples, si quidem ex re consultas tua.
PHIL. Etiam opilio qui pascit, mater, alienas ovis, 539-540
aliquam habet peculiarem, qui spem soletur suam.

C. Here—consider my head, if indeed you are consulting for your own advantage.
PHIL. Even a shepherd who pastures another’s sheep, mother, 539-540
has some peculiar one of his own, to solace his hope.

541
sine me amare unum Argyrippum animi causa, quem volo.
CLEAR. Intro abi, nam te quidem edepol nihil est impudentius.
PHIL. Audientem dicto, mater, produxisti filiam.

541
allow me to love the one Argyrippus for my spirit’s sake, whom I want.
CLEAR. Go inside; for, by Pollux, indeed nothing is more impudent than you.
PHIL. You have brought up a daughter obedient to a word, mother.

III.ii
LIBANVS Perfidiae laudes gratiasque habemus merito magnas, 545
quom nostris sycophantiis, dolis astutiisque,
[scapularum confidentia, virtute ulmorum freti]
qui advorsum stimulos, lamminas, crucesque compedesque,
nervos, catenas, carceres, numellas, pedicas, boias 549-550
~indoctoresque acerrumos gnarosque nostri tergi,

III.ii
LIBANVS We owe perfidy laudations and thanks deservedly great, 545
since by our sycophancies, deceits, and astutenesses,
[with the confidence of our shoulder-blades, relying on the virtue of elms]
we, up against goads, strips, and crosses and foot-shackles,
cords, chains, prisons, ankle-cuffs, fetters, collars 549-550
~and the most keen instructors, well-versed in our hide,

551
[qui saepe ante in nostras scapulas cicatrices indiderunt]
* * *
eae nunc legiones, copiae exercitusque eorum
vi pugnando periuriis nostris fugae potiti.

551
[who have often before implanted cicatrices into our shoulder-blades]
* * *
those legions now, the forces and their armies,
by might in fighting, through our perjuries, have taken to flight.

555
id virtute huius ~ collegae meaque comitate
factumst. qui me vir fortior ad sufferundas plagas?
LEON. Edepol virtutes qui tuas non possis conlaudare
sic ut ego possim, quae domi duellique male fecisti.

555
That was done by the virtue of this ~ colleague and by my comity.
What man is stronger than I for enduring lashes?
LEON. By Pollux, the virtues of yours which you cannot extol as I can—what you have done badly at home and in war.

ne illa edepol pro merito tuo memorari multa possunt:

indeed, by Pollux, many things can be commemorated according to your merit:

560
ubi fidentem fraudaveris, ubi ero infidelis fueris,
ubi verbis conceptis sciens libenter periuraris,
ubi parietes perfoderis, in furto ubi sis prehensus,
ubi saepe causam dixeris pendens adversus octo
artutos, audacis viros, valentis virgatores.

560
where you will have defrauded a trusting man, where you will have been infidel to your master,
where, with words conceived (formal oaths), knowingly and willingly you perjure yourself,
where you will have perforated walls, where you are apprehended in theft,
where you have often pleaded your cause hanging, against eight close-packed, audacious men, strong floggers.

565
LIB. Fateor profecto ut praedicas, Leonida, esse vera;
verum edepol ne etiam tua quoque malefacta iterari multa
et vero possunt: ubi sciens fideli infidus fueris,
ubi prensus in furto sies manifesto et verberatus,
[ubi periuraris, ubi sacro manus sis admolitus,]

565
LIB. I confess indeed, as you proclaim, Leonida, that they are true;
but, by Pollux, surely your malefactions too can likewise be reiterated many times,
and indeed they can: where, knowing, you have been unfaithful to a faithful one,
where you were caught in manifest theft and beaten,
[where you commit perjury, where you have laid hands upon a sacred thing,]

570
ubi eris damno, molestiae et dedecori saepe fueris,
ubi creditum quod sit tibi datum esse pernegaris,
[ubi amicae quam amico tuo fueris magis fidelis,]
ubi saepe ad languorem tua duritia dederis octo
validos lictores, ulmeis adfectos lentis virgis.

570
where you will be a loss, and have often been a nuisance and a disgrace,
where you flatly deny that the loan which has been given to you was ever given,
[where you have been more faithful to your girlfriend than to your friend,]
where often by your hardness you have driven to exhaustion eight
stout lictors, battered with supple elm rods.

575
num male relata est gratia, ut collegam collaudavi?
LEON. Vt meque teque maxime atque ingenio nostro decuit.
LIB. Iam omitte ista atque hoc quod rogo responde.

575
Surely gratitude has not been badly returned, in that I lauded a colleague?
LEON. As it most of all befitted both me and you and our nature.
LIB. Now omit those things and respond to this which I ask.

LEON. Rogita quod vis.
LIB. Argenti vinginti minas habesne? LEON. Hariolare.

LEON. Ask whatever you wish.
LIB. Do you have twenty minas of silver? LEON. You’re talking nonsense.

edepol senem Demaenetum lepidum fuisse nobis:

by Pollux, the old man Demaenetus has been charming to us:

580
ut adsimulabat Sauream med esse quam facete!
nimis aegre risum contini, ubi hospitem inclamavit,
quod se absente mihi fidem habere noluisset.
ut memoriter me Sauream vocabat atriensem!

580
How wittily he simulated that I was Saurea!
I could with very great difficulty contain a laugh, when he cried out upon the guest,
that, with himself absent, he had been unwilling to have faith in me.
How readily he was calling me Saurea, the hall-steward!

LI. Mane dum. LE. Quid est? LI. Philaenium estne haec quae intus exit

LI. Wait a moment. LE. What is it? LI. Is this Philaenium who is coming out from inside?

585
atque Argyrippus una? LEON. Opprime os, is est. subauscultemus.

585
and Argyrippus together? LEON. Shut your mouth, it is he. Let us eavesdrop.

LIB. Lacrumantem lacinia tenet lacrumans. quidnam esse dicam?
taciti auscultemus.

LIB. Weeping, she holds the weeping one by the hem. What am I to say this is?
Let us listen in silence.

LEON. Attatae, modo hercle in mentem venit,
nimis vellem habere perticam. LIB. Quoi rei? LEON. Qui verberarem
asinos, si forte occeperint clamare hinc ex crumina.

LEON. Ah, by Hercules, it just now came into my mind,
I’d very much like to have a pole. LIB. For what purpose? LEON. So that I might beat
the asses, if by chance they should begin to clamour here from the purse.

590

III.iii
ARGYRIPPVS Cur me retentas? PHILAENIVM Quia tui amans abeuntis egeo.
ARG. Vale.

3.3
ARGYRIPPVS Why do you detain me? PHILAENIVM Because, loving you as you depart, I am in need.
ARG. Farewell.

PHIL. Aliquanto amplius valerem, si hic maneres.
ARG. Salve. PHIL. Salvere me iubes, quoi tu abiens offers morbum.

PHIL. I should be somewhat more well, if you were to stay here.
ARG. Be well. PHIL. You bid me to be well, to whom, as you go away, you offer a malady.

ARG. Mater supremam mihi tua dixit, domum ire iussit.
PHIL. Acerbum funus filiae faciet, si te carendum est.

ARG. Your mother has said her last to me, and ordered me to go home.
PHIL. She will make a bitter funeral for her daughter, if she must be without you.

595
LIB. Homo hercle hinc exclusust foras. LEON. Ita res est. A. Mitte quaeso.

595
LIB. The man, by Hercules, has been excluded from here, out of doors. LEON. So the matter is. A. Please, drop it.

PHIL. Quo nunc abis? quin tu hic manes? ARG. Nox, si voles, manebo.

PHIL. Where are you going now? Why not stay here? ARG. Tonight, if you wish, I will stay.

LIB. Audin hunc opera ut largus est nocturna? nunc enim esse
negotiosum interdius videlicet Solonem,
leges ut conscribat, quibus se populus teneat. gerrae!

LIB. Do you hear this fellow, how lavish he is with nocturnal services? for now he is
busy by day, forsooth, a Solon,
to conscribe laws by which the people may bind themselves. nonsense!

600
qui sese parere apparent huius legibus, profecto
numquam bonae frugi sient, dies noctesque potent.
LEON. Ne iste hercle ab ista non pedem discedat, si licessit,
qui nunc festinat atque ab hac minatur sese abire.
LIB. Sermoni iam finem face tuo, huius sermonem accipiam.

600
who appear to obey this man’s laws, surely
they will never be of good frugal character; they will be able day and night.
LEON. By Hercules, let that fellow not move a foot away from her, if it is permitted,
he who now is hurrying and threatens to depart from her.
LIB. Now put an end to your speech; I will take this one’s speech.

605
ARG. Vale. PHIL. Quo properas? ARG. Bene vale, apud Orcum te videbo.

605
ARG. Farewell. PHIL. Where are you hurrying? ARG. Fare well, I will see you at Orcus.

nam equidem me iam quantum potest a vita abiudicabo.
PHIL. Cur tu, obsecro, immerito meo me morti dedere optas?
ARG. Ego te? quam si intellegam deficere vita, iam ipse
vitam meam tibi largiar et de mea ad tuam addam.

for indeed I now, so far as it can be, will abjudge myself from life.
PHIL. Why do you, I beseech, wish to deliver me to death without my deserving?
ARG. I you? Why, if I understand that life is failing you, I would straightway bestow my own life upon you and add from mine to yours.

610
PHIL. Cur ergo minitaris mihi, te vitam esse amissurum?
nam quid me facturam putas, si istuc quod dicis faxis?
mihi certum est facere in me omnia eadem quae tu in te faxis.

610
PHIL. Why then do you threaten me, that you are going to lose your life?
for what do you think I shall do, if you do that which you say?
I am determined to do upon myself all the same things that you do upon yourself.

ARG. Oh melle dulci dulcior tu es. PHIL. Certe enim tu vita es mi.
complectere. ARG. Facio lubens. PHIL. Vtinam sic efferamur.

ARG. Oh you are sweeter than sweet honey. PHIL. Surely indeed you are my life, my dear.
Embrace me. ARG. I do so willingly. PHIL. If only we might be carried away like this.

615
LEON. O Libane, uti miser est homo qui amat. LIB. Immo hercle vero,
qui pendet multo est miserior. LEON. Scio qui periclum feci.

615
LEON. O Libanus, how wretched is the man who loves. LIB. Nay, by Hercules indeed,
he who hangs in suspense is much more wretched. LEON. I know, I who have made the trial.

circum sistamus, alter hinc, hinc alter appellemus.
ere, salve. sed num fumus est haec mulier quam amplexare?

let us stand around; one on this side, the other on that, let us address her.
master, hail. but is this woman whom you are embracing smoke?

ARG. Quidum? LEON. Quia oculi sunt tibi lacrumantes, eo rogavi.

ARG. Why so? LEON. Because your eyes are tearful, for that reason I asked.

620
ARG. Patronus qui vobis fuit futurus, perdidistis.
LEON. Equidem hercle nullum perdidi, ideo quia numquam ullum habui.
LIB. Philaenium, salve.

620
ARG. You have lost the patron who was going to be yours.
LEON. Indeed, by Hercules, I lost none, for this reason: because I never had any.
LIB. Philaenium, hello.

PHIL. Dabunt di quae velitis vobis.
LIB. Noctem tuam et vini cadum velim, si optata fiant.
ARG. Verbum cave faxis, verbero.

PHIL. The gods will give the things you wish to you.
LIB. I would like your night and a cask of wine, if the desired things come to pass.
ARG. Mind you don’t say a word, scoundrel.

LIB. Tibi equidem, non mihi opto.

LIB. For you indeed, not for myself do I wish.

625
ARG. Tum tu igitur loquere quod lubet. LIB. Hunc hercle verberare.
LEON. Quisnam istuc adcredat tibi, cinaede calamistrate?

625
ARG. Then you, therefore, say what you please. LIB. By Hercules, to beat this man.
LEON. Who, pray, would give credence to that from you, you catamite with curled hair?

tun verberes, qui pro cibo habeas te verberari?
ARG. Vt vostrae fortunae meis praecedunt, Libane, longe,
qui hodie numquam ad vesperum vivam. LIB. Quapropter, quaeso?

you do the beating—you who take getting yourself beaten for food?
ARG. As your fortunes far precede mine, Libanus,
I, who today will never live till evening. LIB. Wherefore, I pray?

630
A. Quia ego hanc amo et haec me amat, huic quod dem nusquam quicquam est,
hinc med amantem ex aedibus eiecit huius mater.
argenti viginti minae me ad mortem appulerunt,
quas hodie adulescens Diabolus ipsi daturus dixit,
ut hanc ne quoquam mitteret nisi ad se hunc annum totum.

630
A. Because I love this girl and she loves me, there is nowhere anything for me to give to her,
from here, as her lover, this one's mother has driven me out of the house.
twenty minae of silver have driven me to death,
which today the adolescent Diabolus said he would give to her herself,
so that she would not send this girl anywhere except to him for this whole year.

635
videtin viginti minae quid pollent quidve possunt?
ille qui illas perdit salvos est, ego qui non perdo pereo.
LIB. Iam dedit argentum?

635
Do you see what power twenty minae have, and what they can do?
He who spends them is safe; I, who do not spend them, perish.
LIB. Has he already given the silver?

ARG. Non dedit. LI. Bono animo es, ne formida.
LEON. Secede huc, Libane, te volo.

ARG. He has not given. LI. Be of good spirit, do not be afraid.
LEON. Step aside here, Libane; I want you.

LIB. Si quid vis. ARG. Obsecro vos,
eadem istac opera suaviust complexos fabulari.

LIB. If you wish anything. ARG. I beseech you,
by that same effort it is more pleasant to chat embraced.

640
LIB. Non omnia eadem aeque omnibus, ere, suavia esse scito:
vobis est suave amantibus complexos fabulari,
ego complexum huius nil moror, meum autem hic aspernatur.
proinde istud facias ipse quod faciamus nobis suades.
ARG. Ego vero, et quidem edepol lubens.

640
LIB. Know, master, that not all the same things are equally suave to everyone:
for you, as lovers, it is suave to chat while embraced;
I care nothing for this fellow’s embrace, but he spurns mine.
Accordingly do yourself that which you advise us to do for ourselves.
ARG. Indeed I will, and by Pollux, gladly.

interea, si videtur,

meanwhile, if it seems good,

645
concedite istuc. LEON. Vin erum deludi? LIB. Dignust sane.

645
go over there. LEON. Do you want the master to be deluded? LIB. He is indeed worthy.

LEON. Vin faciam ut te Philaenium praesente hoc amplexetur?
LIB. Cupio hercle. LEON. Sequere hac.

LEON. Do you want me to make it so that Philaenium embraces you with this man present?
LIB. I desire it, by Hercules. LEON. Follow this way.

A. Ecquid est salutis? satis locuti.
LEON. Auscultate atque operam date et mea dicta devorate.

A. Is there any salvation? Enough talking.
LEON. Listen and give your attention and devour my words.

primum omnium servos tuos nos esse non negamus;

first of all, we do not deny that we are your servants;

650
sed tibi si viginti minae argenti proferentur,
quo nos vocabis nomine? ARG. Libertos. LEON. Non patronos?

650
but if twenty minae of silver were proffered to you,
by what name will you call us? ARG. Freedmen. LEON. Not patrons?

ARG. Id potius. LEON. Viginti minae hic insunt in crumina,
has ego, si vis, tibi dabo. ARG. Di te servassint semper,
custos erilis, decus popli, thensaurus copiarum,

ARG. That rather. LEON. Twenty minae are here in the purse,
these, if you wish, I will give to you. ARG. May the gods always preserve you,
guardian of the master, ornament of the people, thesaurus of resources,

655
salus interioris ~ corporis amorisque imperator.
hic pone, hic istam colloca cruminam in collo plane.
LEON. Nolo ego te, qui erus sis, mihi onus istuc sustinere.

655
salvation of the interior ~ body and the imperator of love.
here put it, here place that purse plainly upon the neck.
LEON. I do not want you, who are the master, to sustain that burden for me.

ARG. Quin tu labore liberas te atque istam imponis in me?
LEON. Ego baiulabo, tu, ut decet dominum, ante me ito inanis.

ARG. Why don’t you free yourself from the labor and put that onto me?
LEON. I will bear it as a porter; you, as it befits a master, go before me empty.

660
ARG. Quid nunc? LEON. Quid est? ARG. Quin tradis huc cruminam pressatum
umerum?

660
ARG. What now? LEON. What is it? ARG. Why don’t you hand over here the purse, for pressing the
shoulder?

LEON. Hanc, cui daturu's hanc, iube petere atque orare mecum.
nam istuc proclive est, quo iubes me plane collocare.
PHIL. Da, meus ocellus, mea rosa, mi anime, mea voluptas,
Leonida, argentum mihi, ne nos diiunge amantis.

LEON. Bid this one—to whom you are going to give this—to seek and to implore with me.
for that is easy, where you plainly order me to place myself.
PHIL. Give, my little eye, my rose, my soul, my delight,
Leonida, the silver to me; do not disjoin us lovers.

665
LEON. Dic me igitur tuom passerculum, gallinam, coturnicem,
agnellum, haedillum me tuom dic esse vel vitellum,
prehende auriculis, compara labella cum labellis.
ARG. Ten osculetur, verbero? LEON. Quam vero indignum visum est?

665
LEON. So call me, then, your little sparrow, hen, quail,
lamb, little kid—say that I am yours—or little calf,
take me by the ears, match little lips with little lips.
ARG. Should he kiss you, you rascal? LEON. How indeed unworthy did it seem?

at qui pol hodie non feres, ni genua confricantur.

But, by Pollux, today you will not get it, unless the knees are rubbed.

670
ARG. Quidvis egestas imperat: fricentur. dan quod oro?
PHIL. Age, mi Leonida, obsecro, fer amanti ero salutem,
redime istoc beneficio te ab hoc, et tibi eme hunc isto argento.

670
ARG. Whatever want commands: let them be rubbed. Will you give what I beg?
PHIL. Come, my Leonida, I beseech you, bring deliverance to my loving master,
redeem yourself from this man by that benefaction, and buy for yourself this fellow with that silver.

LEON. Nimis bella es atque amabilis, et si hoc meum esset, hodie
numquam me orares quin darem: illum te orare meliust,

LEON. You are exceedingly beautiful and amiable, and if this were mine, today you would never entreat me but that I would give it: it is better that you entreat him,

675
illic hanc mihi servandam dedit. ei sane bella belle.
cape hoc sis, Libane.

675
That fellow gave this one to me to be kept. Ah! indeed, a beauty—beautifully so.
Take this, please, Libanus.

ARG. Furcifer, etiam me delusisti?
LEON. Numquam hercle facerem, genua ni tam nequiter fricares.
age sis tu in partem nunciam hunc delude atque amplexare hanc.

ARG. Gallows-bird, have you even deluded me?
LEON. By Hercules, I would never do it, if you didn’t rub my knees so wickedly.
come on, please, you now take a share: delude this fellow and embrace this girl.

LIB. Taceas, me spectes. ARG. Quin ad hunc, Philaenium, adgredimur,

LIB. Be silent, look at me. ARG. Why don’t we approach this man, Philaenium, set upon him,

680
virum quidem pol optimum et non similem furis huius?
LIB. Inambulandum est: nunc mihi vicissim supplicabunt.
ARG. Quaeso hercle, Libane, sis erum tuis factis sospitari,
da mi istas viginti minas.

680
a man indeed, by Pollux, most excellent and not similar to this thief?
LIB. There must be walking about: now in turn they will supplicate me.
ARG. I beg, by Hercules, Libanus, may your master be preserved by your deeds; give me those twenty minas.

vides me amantem egere.
LIB. Videbitur. factum volo.

you see me, a lover, in need.
LIB. It will be seen to. I wish it done.

redito huc conticinno.

Return here when all is quiet.

685
nunc istanc tantisper iube petere atque orare mecum.
PHIL. Amandone exorarier vis ted an osculando?
LIB. Enim vero utrumque.

685
now bid that girl for the moment to petition and implore me.
PHIL. Do you wish to be prevailed upon by loving, or by kissing?
LIB. Indeed, truly, by both.

P. Ergo, obsecro, et tu utrumque nostrum serva.
ARG. O Libane, mi patrone, mi trade istuc. magis decorumst
libertum potius quam patronum onus in via portare.

P. Therefore, I beseech, you too preserve both of us.
ARG. O Libanus, my patron, hand that over to me. It is more decorous
for a freedman rather than a patron to carry a burden on the road.

690
PHIL. Mi Libane, ocellus aureus, donum decusque amoris,
amabo, faciam quod voles, da istuc argentum nobis.
LIB. Dic igitur med aniticulam, columbam vel catellum,
hirundinem, monerulam, passerculum putillum,
fac proserpentem bestiam me, duplicem ut habeam linguam,

690
PHIL. My Libanus, golden little eye, the gift and glory of love,
please, I will do what you wish—give that silver here to us.
LIB. So then call me a little duck, a dove or a puppy,
a swallow, a little jackdaw, a very tiny little sparrow,
make me a creeping serpent-beast, so that I may have a double tongue,

695
circumda torquem brachiis, meum collum circumplecte.
ARG. Ten complectatur, carnufex? LIB. Quam vero indignus videor?

695
wind a torque with your arms, encircle my neck.
ARG. Is he to embrace you, hangman? LIB. How indeed do I seem unworthy?

ne istuc nequiquam dixeris tam indignum dictum in me,
vehes pol hodie me, si quidem hoc argentum ferre speres.
ARG. Ten ego veham? LIB. Tun hoc feras argentum aliter a me?

do not say that in vain, such an unworthy dictum against me;
by Pollux, today you will carry me, if indeed you hope to bear off this silver.
ARG. Am I to carry you? LIB. Are you to bear this silver away otherwise than from me?

700
ARG. Perii hercle. si verum quidem et decorum erum vehere servom,
inscende. LIB. Sic isti solent superbi subdomari.

700
ARG. I’m undone, by Hercules. If indeed it is true and decorous for a master to carry a slave,
mount. LIB. Thus those proud ones are wont to be subdued.

asta igitur, ut consuetus es puer olim. scin ut dicam?
em sic.

stand then, as you were accustomed as a boy once. do you know how I mean?
here, thus.

abi, laudo, nec te equo magis est equos ullus sapiens.
ARG. Inscende actutum. LIB. Ego fecero.

go on, I approve, nor is there any horse wiser than your horse.
ARG. Mount immediately. LIB. I will do it.

hem quid istuc est? ut tu incedis?

ha! what is that? how you strut?

705
demam hercle iam de hordeo, tolutim ni badizas.
ARG. Amabo, Libane, iam sat est. LIB. Numquam hercle hodie exorabis.

705
I’ll dock you off the barley, by Hercules, right now, unless you step along at a trot.
ARG. Please, Libanus, now it’s enough. LIB. By Hercules, you will never win me over today.

nam iam calcari quadrupedo agitabo advorsum clivom,
postidea ad pistores dabo, ut ibi cruciere currens.
asta ut descendam nunciam in proclivi, quamquam nequam es.

for now with the spur I will drive the quadruped uphill against the slope,
after that I will hand you over to the bakers, so that there you may be tormented running.
stand, so that I may get down right now on the down-slope, although you are a good-for-nothing.

710
ARG. Quid nunc, amabo? quoniam, ut est libitum, nos delusistis,
datisne argentum? LIB. Si quidem mihi statuam et aram statuis
atque ut deo mi hic immolas bovem: nam ego tibi Salus sum.

710
ARG. What now, please? since, as it has pleased you, you have deluded us,
do you give the silver? LIB. If indeed you set up for me a statue and an altar
and here sacrifice a bull to me as to a god: for I am your Salus.

LEON. Etiam tu, ere, istunc amoves abs te atque ~ ipse me adgredere
atque illa, sibi quae hic iusserat, mihi statuis supplicasque?

LEON. You too, master, will you remove that fellow from you and ~ come at me yourself,
and those things which he had ordered here for himself, will you set up for me and make supplication?

715
ARG. Quem te autem divom nominem? LE. Fortunam, atque Obsequentem.
ARG. Iam istoc es melior.

715
ARG. But which of the gods am I to call you? LE. Fortune, and Obsequens.
ARG. Now at that you are better.

LIB. An quid est homini Salute melius?
ARG. Licet laudem Fortunam, tamen ut ne Salutem culpem.
PHIL. Ecastor ambae sunt bonae.

LIB. Or is anything better for a man than Health?
ARG. Granted that I may praise Fortune, yet so that I do not blame Health.
PHIL. By Castor, both are good.

ARG. Sciam ubi boni quid dederint.
LEON. Opta id quod ut contingat tibi vis. ARG. Quid si optaro?

ARG. I shall know where the good
have given anything.
LEON. Wish for that which you want to come to pass for you. ARG. What if
I should wish?

LE. Eveniet. 720
ARG. Opto annum hunc perpetuom mihi huius operas. LEON. Impetrasti.
ARG. Ain vero?

LE. It will come to pass. 720
ARG. I wish for this year the perpetual services of this one for me. LEON. You have obtained it.
ARG. Indeed?

LEON. Certe inquam. LI. Ad me adi vicissim atque experire.
exopta id quod vis maxime tibi evenire: fiet.

LEON. Certainly, I say. LI. Come to me in turn and make trial.
wish for that which you most want to happen to you: it will happen.

ARG. Quid ego aliud exoptem amplius nisi illud cuius inopiast,
viginti argenti commodas minas, huius quas dem matri.

ARG. What else should I desire further except that thing of which there is want,
that you would lend twenty minae of silver, which I may give to this one’s mother.

725
LIB. Dabuntur, animo sis bono face, exoptata optingent.
ARG. Vt consuevere, homines Salus frustratur et Fortuna.
LEON. Ego caput huic argento fui hodie reperiundo.

725
LIB. They will be given; see that you be of good spirit; the longed-for things will befall.
ARG. As they have been accustomed, Salvation and Fortune frustrate men.
LEON. I was the head today in finding this silver.

LIB. Ego pes fui. ARG. Quin nec caput nec pes sermoni apparet.
nec quid dicatis scire nec me cur ludatis possum.

LIB. I was the foot. ARG. Why, neither head nor foot appears in the speech.
nor can I know what you are saying nor why you play with me.

730
LIB. Satis iam delusum censeo. nunc rem ut est eloquamur.
animum, Argyrippe, advorte sis.

730
LIB. I opine enough has been made sport of now. now let us declare the matter as it is.
turn your mind, Argyrippe, please.

pater nos ferre hoc iussit
argentum ad ted. ARG. Vt temperi opportuneque attulistis.
LIB. Hic inerunt viginti minae bonae, mala opera partae;
has tibi nos pactis legibus dare iussit.

father ordered us to carry this
silver to you. ARG. How timely and opportune you have brought it.
LIB. Herein are twenty good minas, gotten by evil work;
he ordered us to give these to you under the terms of the pact.

ARG. Quid id est, quaeso?

ARG. What is that, I pray?

735
LIB. Noctem huius et cenam sibi ut dares. ARG. Iube advenire quaeso:
meritissimo eius quae volet faciemus, qui hosce amores
nostros dispulsos compulit. LEON. <Patierin, Argyrippe, >
patrem hanc amplexari tuom?

735
LIB. That you should give him this one’s night and dinner. ARG. Order him to come, I beg:
most deservedly we will do for him whatever she wishes, he who has compelled these our loves,
driven apart, back together. LEON. <Will you allow, Argyrippus, >
your father to embrace this woman?

ARG. Haec faciet facile ut patiar.
Leonida, curre obsecro, patrem huc orato ut veniat.

ARG. This will make me readily permit it.
Leonida, run, I beseech you, entreat father to come here.

740
LEON. Iam dudum est intus. ARG. Hac quidem non venit. LE. Angiporto
illac per hortum circum iit clam, ne quis se videret
huc ire familiarium: ne uxor resciscat metuit.

740
LEON. He has been inside for some time now. ARG. He certainly did not come by this way. LE. By the back alley
that way, through the garden he went around secretly, lest any of his familiars should see him
going here: he fears lest his wife learn of it.

de argento si mater tua sciat ut sit factum — ARG. Heia,
bene dicite. LIB. Ite intro cito. ARG. Valete.

about the silver, if your mother should know how it has been done — ARG. Hey, speak auspiciously. LIB. Go inside quickly. ARG. Farewell.

— LEON. Et vos amate.—

— LEON. And you, love as well.—

745

ACTVS IV

ACT 4

IV.i
DIABOLVS Agedum istum ostende quem conscripsti syngraphum
inter me et amicam et lenam. leges pellege.
nam tu poeta es prorsus ad eam rem unicus.

4.1
THE DEVIL Come on, then, show that syngraph which you have drafted between me and the mistress and the procuress. Peruse the clauses. For you are a poet utterly unique for that matter.

PARASITVS Horrescet faxo lena, leges cum audiet.
DIAB. Age quaeso mi hercle translege. PAR. Audin?

PARASITVS I’ll make the procuress shudder, when she hears the clauses.
DIAB. Come, please, by Hercules, read it through. PAR. Do you hear?

DIAB. Audio.

DIAB. I hear.

750
PAR. 'Diabolus Glauci filius Clearetae
lenae dedit dono argenti viginti minas,
Philaenium ut secum esset noctes et dies
hunc annum totum.' DIAB. Neque cum quiquam alio quidem.
PAR. Addone? DIAB. Adde, et scribas vide plane et probe.

750
PAR. 'Diabolus, son of Glaucus, gave to Cleareta,
the bawd, as a gift twenty minas of silver,
that Philaenium should be with him nights and days
this whole year.' DIAB. And with no one else, indeed.
PAR. Shall I add? DIAB. Add; and see that you write plainly and properly.

755
PAR. 'Alienum hominem intro mittat neminem.
quod illa aut amicum aut patronum nominet,
aut quod illa amicae *** amatorem praedicet,
fores occlusae omnibus sint nisi tibi.
in foribus scribat occupatam esse se.

755
PAR. 'Let her admit no stranger inside.
Whoever she may name as either a friend or a patron,
or whoever she proclaims as her female friend’s *** lover,
let the doors be closed to all except you.
On the doors let her write that she is occupied.'

760
aut quod illa dicat peregre allatam epistulam,
ne epistula quidem ulla sit in aedibus
nec cerata adeo tabula; et si qua inutilis
pictura sit, eam vendat: ni in quadriduo
abalienarit, quo abs te argentum acceperit,

760
or that she say an epistle has been brought from abroad,
let there not be any epistle at all in the house,
nor even a waxed tablet; and if there be any useless
picture, let her sell it: unless within four days
she shall have alienated it, from the day on which she received the silver from you,

765
tuos arbitratus sit, comburas, si velis,
ne illi sit cera, ubi facere possit litteras.
vocet convivam neminem illa, tu voces;
ad eorum ne quem oculos adiciat suos.
si quem alium aspexit, caeca continuo siet.

765
let them be deemed yours; burn them, if you wish,
so that she may not have wax where she can make letters.
let that woman invite no dinner guest; you do the inviting;
let her not cast her eyes upon any of them.
if she has looked at any other, let her be blind immediately.

770
tecum una potet, aeque pocla potitet:
abs ted accipiat, tibi propinet, tu bibas,
ne illa minus aut plus quam tu sapiat.' DIAB. Satis placet.
PAR. 'Suspiciones omnes ab se segreget.
neque illaec ulli pede pedem homini premat,

770
'let her drink together with you, let her equally tipple the cups:
let her receive from you, let her pledge to you, do you drink,
lest she taste less or more than you.' DIAB. It pleases enough.
PAR. 'Let her segregate all suspicions from herself.
nor let that woman press foot to the foot of any man,

775
cum surgat, neque <cum> in lectum inscendat proximum,
neque cum descendat inde, det cuiquam manum:
spectandum ne cui anulum det neque roget.
talos ne cuiquam homini admoveat nisi tibi.
cum iaciat, 'te' ne dicat: nomen nominet.

775
when she rises, neither when she climbs onto the nearest couch,
nor when she climbs down from it, let her give her hand to anyone:
let her neither give her ring to anyone to be looked at nor ask.
let her not move knucklebones near to any man except to you.
when she throws, let her not say “you”: let her name the name.

780
deam invocet sibi quam libebit propitiam,
deum nullum; si magis religiosa fuerit,
tibi dicat: tu pro illa ores ut sit propitius.
neque illa ulli homini nutet, nictet, annuat.
post, si lucerna exstincta sit, ne quid sui

780
let her invoke for herself whatever goddess she pleases as propitious,
no god; if she should be more religious,
let her tell it to you: you pray on her behalf that he be propitious.
and let her neither nod, wink, nor signal assent to any man.
afterwards, if the lamp should be extinguished, let her not do anything on her own

785
membri commoveat quicquam in tenebris.' DIAB. Optumest.
ita scilicet facturam. verum in cubiculo—
deme istuc — equidem illam moveri gestio.

785
let her not move any part of her person in the dark.' DIAB. Optimal.
so of course she’ll do that. but in the bedchamber—
take that away— for my part I’m eager that she be moved.

nolo illam habere causam et votitam dicere.
PAR. Scio, captiones metuis. DIAB. Verum.

I do not want her to have a pretext and to say it is vowed.
PAR. I know, you fear snares. DIAB. True.

PAR. Ergo ut iubes

PAR. Therefore, as you order

790
tollam. DIAB. Quid ni? PAR. Audi relicua. DIAB. Loquere, audio.

790
I will remove it. DIAB. Why not? PAR. Hear the rest. DIAB. Speak, I am listening.

PAR. 'Neque ullum verbum faciat perplexabile,
neque ulla lingua sciat loqui nisi Attica.
forte si tussire occepsit, ne sic tussiat,
ut cuiquam linguam in tussiendo proserat.

PAR. 'Nor let him make any word perplexing,
nor let any tongue know how to speak except Attic.
if perchance he has begun to cough, let him not cough in such a way,
as to protrude his tongue at anyone in the act of coughing.

795
quod illa autem simulet, quasi gravedo profluat,
hoc ne sic faciat: tu labellum abstergeas
potius quam cuiquam savium faciat palam.
nec mater lena ad vinum accedat interim,
nec ulli verbo male dicat. si dixerit,

795
but as for her pretending, as though a catarrh were flowing forth,
let her not do this so: you should wipe her little lip
rather than that she give a kiss to anyone openly.
nor let the mother-bawd approach the wine in the meantime,
nor speak ill to anyone with a word. If she says it,

800
haec multa ei esto, vino viginti dies
ut careat.' DIAB. Pulchre scripsti. scitum syngraphum.
PAR. 'Tum si coronas, serta, unguenta iusserit
ancillam ferre Veneri aut Cupidini,
tuos servos servet, Venerine eas det an viro.

800
'let this be her mulct, that she go without wine for twenty days.' DIAB. You wrote beautifully. A neat syngraph.
PAR. 'Then if she orders the maidservant to carry coronas, garlands, unguents to Venus or to Cupid,
have your slaves keep watch, whether she gives them to Venus or to a man.'

805
si forte pure velle habere dixerit,
tot noctes reddat spurcas quot pure habuerit.'
haec sunt non nugae, non enim mortualia.
DIAB. Placent profecto leges. sequere intro.

805
if by chance she shall have said she wants to keep it pure,
let her pay back as many filthy nights as she has had pure.'
these are not trifles, for they are not mortuary matters.
DIAB. The laws are indeed pleasing. Follow inside.

— PAR. Sequor.—

— PAR. I follow.—

IV.ii
DIAB. Sequere hac. egone haec patiar aut taceam? emori

IV.ii
DIAB. Follow this way. Shall I, for my part, suffer these things or be silent? to die

810
me malim, quam haec non eius uxori indicem.
ain tu? apud amicam munus adulescentuli
fungare, uxori excuses te et dicas senem?
praeripias scortum amanti atque argentum obicias
lenae?

810
I would rather myself die than not inform his wife of these things.
Is that so? With your mistress you perform the office of an adolescent,
and to your wife you make excuses and say you’re an old man?
Will you snatch the harlot from her lover and throw money at the bawd
procuress?

suppiles clam domi uxorem tuam?

do you pilfer your wife secretly at home?

815
suspendam potius me, quam tu haec tacita auferas.
iam quidem hercle ad illam hinc ibo, quam tu propediem,
nisi quidem illa ante occupassit te, effliges scio,
luxuriae sumptus suppeditare ut possies.
PAR. Ego sic faciundum censeo: me honestiust,

815
I would rather hang myself, than that you carry these things off in silence.
Indeed now, by Hercules, I will go from here to that woman, on whose account you, before long—unless indeed she first gets the jump on you—will, I know, wear yourself out, so that you may be able to supply the expenses of luxury.
PAR. I am of the opinion it ought to be done thus: it is more honorable for me,

820
quam te palam hanc rem facere, ne illa existimet
amoris causa percitum id fecisse te
magis quam sua causa. DIAB. At pol qui dixti rectius.
tu ergo fac ut illi turbas lites concias;
cum suo sibi gnato unam ad amicam de die

820
than for you to do this thing openly, lest she think
that, for love’s cause, inflamed, you did that
rather than for her own cause. DIAB. But by Pollux, you have spoken more rightly.
therefore you see to it that you stir up troubles, quarrels for her;
with her own son, to one and the same mistress, in broad daylight

825
potare, illam expilare <narra>. PAR. Ne mone,
ego istud curabo.— DIAB. At ego te opperiar domi.—

825
say he drinks, that he plunders her <tell>. PAR. Don’t prompt me,
I will take care of that.— DIAB. But I will wait for you at home.—

ACTVS V

ACT 5

V.i
[ARGYRIPPVS Age decumbamus sis, pater. DEMAENETVS Vt iusseris,
mi gnate, ita fiet. ARG. Pueri, mensam adponite.]
DEM. Numquidnam tibi molestumst, gnate mi, si haec nunc mecum accubat?

5.1
[ARGYRIPPUS Come, let us recline, please, father. DEMAENETUS As you have ordered,
my son, so it shall be done. ARG. Boys, set the table.]
DEM. Is it at all troublesome to you, my son, if she now reclines with me?

830
ARG. Pietas, pater, oculis dolorem prohibet. quamquam ego istanc amo,
possum equidem inducere animum, ne aegre patiar quia tecum accubat.
DEM. Decet verecundum esse adulescentem, Argyrippe.

830
ARG. Piety, father, keeps pain from my eyes. Although I love that one,
I can indeed induce my mind not to take it hard because she reclines with you.
DEM. It befits a youth to be modest, Argyrippus.

ARG. Edepol, pater,
merito tuo facere possum. DEM. Age ergo, hoc agitemus convivium
vino ut sermone suavi. nolo ego metui, amari mavolo,

ARG. By Pollux, father,
by your merit I can do it. DEM. Come then, let us conduct this banquet
with wine as with pleasant discourse. I do not wish to be feared; I prefer to be loved,

835
mi gnate, me abs te. ARG. Pol ego utrumque facio, ut aequom est filium.
DEM. Credam istuc, si esse te hilarum videro. A. An tu me tristem putas?

835
my son, by you. ARG. By Pollux, I do both, as is right for a son.
DEM. I will believe that, if I see you to be cheerful. A. Do you think me sad?

D. Putem ego, quem videam aeque esse maestum ut quasi dies si dicta sit?
ARG. Ne dixis istuc. DEM. Ne sic fueris: ilico ego non dixero. 839-840
ARG. Em aspecta: rideo.

D. Could I think that—when I see you just as gloomy as if a day had been named (for you in court)?
ARG. Don’t say that. DEM. Don’t be so: then at once I will not have said it. 839-840
ARG. Here, look: I’m laughing.

DEM. Vtinam male qui mihi volunt sic rideant.

DEM. Would that those who wish me ill laugh thus.

841
ARG. Scio equidem quam ob rem me, pater, tu tristem credas nunc tibi:
quia istaec est tecum. atque ego quidem hercle ut verum tibi dicam, pater,
ea res me male habet; at non eo, quia tibi non cupiam quae velis;
verum istam amo. aliam tecum esse equidem facile possum perpeti.

841
ARG. I do indeed know for what reason, father, you think me sad toward you now:
because that one is with you. And indeed, by Hercules, to tell you the truth, father,
that matter afflicts me; but not for this reason, that I do not desire for you what you wish;
rather, I love that woman. Another to be with you I indeed can easily endure.

845
D. At ego hanc volo. A. Ergo sunt quae exoptas: mihi quae ego exoptem volo.
DEM. Vnum hunc diem perpetere, quoniam tibi potestatem dedi,
cum hac annum ut esses, atque amanti argenti feci copiam.

845
D. But I want this one. A. Then you have the things you long for; I want the things I myself long for.
DEM. Endure this one day, since I gave you the permission to be with her for a year, and I have made provision of silver for the lover of silver.

A. Em istoc me facto tibi devinxti. D. Quin te ergo hilarum das mihi? 849-850

A. There—by that act you have bound me to you. D. Why then do you not give yourself to me cheerful? 849-850

V.ii
ARTEMONA Ain tu meum virum hic potare, obsecro, cum filio

5.2
ARTEMONA Do you really say that my husband is drinking here, I beseech, with his son

851
et ad amicam detulisse argenti viginti minas
meoque filio sciente id facere flagitium patrem?
PARASITVS Neque divini neque mi humani posthac quicquam accreduas,
Artemona, si huius rei me mendacem inveneris.

851
and that he has carried to his mistress twenty minas of silver,
and, with my own son knowing it, that the father commit that flagitious act?
PARASITVS Do not henceforth credit me with anything, either divine or human,
Artemona, if you find me a liar in this matter.

855
ART. At scelesta ego praeter alios meum virum ~ frugi rata,
siccum, frugi, continentem, amantem uxoris maxume.
PAR. At nunc dehinc scito illum ante omnes minimi mortalem preti,
madidum, nihili, incontinentem atque osorem uxoris suae.
ART. Pol ni istaec vera essent, numquam faceret ea quae nunc facit.

855
ART. But wicked I, beyond others, had reckoned my husband ~ frugi,
sober, frugi, continent, most especially loving of his wife.
PAR. But now from here on know him, before all, to be a mortal of minimal price,
sodden, worth nothing, incontinent, and a hater of his own wife.
ART. By Pollux, if these things were not true, never would he do the things he now does.

860
PAR. Ego quoque hercle illum antehac hominem semper sum frugi ratus,
verum hoc facto sese ostendit, qui quidem cum filio
potet una atque una amicam ductet, decrepitus senex.
ART. Hoc ecastor est quod ille it ad cenam cottidie.
ait sese ire ad Archidemum, Chaeream, Chaerestratum,

860
PAR. I too, by Hercules, had always considered that man until now to be frugal,
but by this deed he has shown himself, one who indeed with his son
drinks together and together leads about a mistress, a decrepit old man.
ART. By Castor, this is why he goes to dinner every day.
he says he is going to Archidemus, Chaerea, Chaerestratus,

865
Cliniam, Chremem, Cratinum, Diniam, Demosthenem:
is apud scortum corruptelae est liberis, lustris studet.
PAR. Quin tu illum iubes ancillas rapere sublimen domum?
ART. Tace modo.

865
Clinias, Chremes, Cratinus, Dinias, Demosthenes:
he, at a harlot’s, is a corruption to his children, he is devoted to dens of vice.
PAR. Why don’t you order the maidservants to seize him and carry him aloft home?
ART. Just be quiet.

ne <ego> illum ecastor miserum habebo. P. Ego istuc scio,
ita fore illi dum quidem cum illo nupta eris. ART. Ego censeo.

indeed, by Castor, I will make that man wretched. P. I know that: it will be so for him so long at least as you are wedded with him. ART. I am of the opinion.

870
~eum etiam hominem in senatu dare operam aut clientibus,
ibi labore delassatum noctem totam stertere:
ille opere foris faciendo lassus noctu <ad me> advenit;
fundum alienum arat, incultum familiarem deserit.
is etiam corruptus porro suom corrumpit filium.

870
~that man too to give attendance in the Senate or to his clients,
and there, exhausted by labor, to snore the whole night:
he, tired from doing work outdoors, by night comes <to me>;
he plows another’s farm, abandons his own, uncultivated.
that same man, corrupted, furthermore corrupts his own son.

875
PAR. Sequere hac me modo, iam faxo ipsum hominem manifesto opprimas.
ART. Nihil ecastor est quod facere mavelim. P. Mane dum.

875
PAR. Just follow me this way; I’ll make sure you catch the man himself red-handed.
ART. By Castor, there’s nothing I’d rather do. P. Wait a moment.

A. Quid est?
PAR. Possis, si forte accubantem tuom virum conspexeris
cum corona amplexum amicam, si videas, cognoscere?
A. Possum ecastor.

A. What is it?
PAR. Could you, if by chance you should catch sight of your husband reclining,
with a corona (garland), embracing a girlfriend—if you were to see it—recognize him?
A. I can, by Castor.

P. Em tibi hominem. A. Perii. P. Paulisper mane.

P. Here is the man for you. A. I am ruined. P. Wait a little while.

880
aucupemus ex insidiis clanculum quam rem gerant.
ARG. Quid modi, pater, amplexando facies? DEM. Fateor, gnate mi—
ARG. Quid fatere?

880
let us, from an ambush, clandestinely, learn what affair they are conducting.
ARG. In what way, father, will you accomplish anything by embracing? DEM. I confess, my son—
ARG. What do you confess?

DEM. Me ex amore huius corruptum oppido.
PAR. Audin quid ait? ART. Audio.

DEM. That I have been utterly corrupted by love of this one.
PAR. Do you hear what he says? ART. I hear.

DEM. Egon ut non domo uxori meae
subripiam in deliciis pallam quam habet, atque ad te deferam,

DEM. I— that I should not from home, from my wife,
steal away the mantle which she has as a cherished delight, and bring it to you,

885
non edepol conduci possum vita uxoris annua.
PAR. Censen tu illum hodie primum ire adsuetum esse in ganeum?
ART. Ille ecastor suppilabat me, quod ancillas meas
suspicabar atque insontis miseras cruciabam.

885
by Pollux, I cannot be hired by a wife's annual annuity.
PAR. Do you suppose that today is the first time he’s been accustomed to go into a cookshop?
ART. By Castor, he was pilfering from me, because I was suspecting my maidservants and was torturing the wretched innocents.

ARG. Pater,
iube dari vinum; iam dudum factum est cum primum bibi.

ARG. Father,
bid that wine be given; it is long since I first drank.

890
DEM. Da, puere, ab summo. age tu interibi ab infimo da savium.
ART. Perii misera, ut osculatur carnufex, capuli decus.

890
DEM. Give, boy, from the top. Come on, you meanwhile from the bottom give a kiss.
ART. I am undone, wretched me, how the hangman kisses, glory of the hilt!

DEM. Edepol animam suaviorem aliquanto quam uxoris meae.
PHIL. Dic amabo, an fetet anima uxoris tuae? DEM. Nauteam
bibere malim, si necessum sit, quam illam oscularier.

DEM. By Pollux, a breath somewhat sweeter than my wife's.
PHIL. Tell me, please, does your wife's breath stink? DEM. I'd rather drink bilge-water, if it must be, than kiss her.

895
ART. Ain tandem? edepol ne tu istuc cum malo magno tuo
Dixisti in me. sine, revenias modo domum, faxo ut scias
quid pericli sit dotatae uxori vitium dicere.
PHIL. Miser ecastor es. ART. Ecastor dignus est.

895
ART. Do you say so, then? By Pollux indeed you have said that against me, to your great harm.
Just wait; only come back home, I’ll make sure you know
what peril it is to lay a fault against a dowried wife. PHIL. By Castor, you are wretched. ART. By Castor, he is deserving.

ARG. Quid ais, pater?
ecquid matrem amas? DEM. Egone illam?

ARG. What do you say, father?
Do you love mother at all? DEM. I—her?

nunc amo, quia non adest.

Now I love her, because she is not present.

900
ARG. Quid cum adest? D. Periisse cupio. P. Amat homo hic te, ut praedicat.

900
ARG. What when she is present? D. I wish she were dead. P. This man loves you, as he proclaims.

ART. Ne illa ecastor faenerato funditat: nam si domum
redierit hodie, osculando ego ulciscar potissimum.
ARG. Iace, pater, talos, ut porro nos iaciamus. DEM. Maxime.

ART. Indeed, by Castor, she is shelling out to the usurer: for if she comes back home today,
I will avenge myself most of all by kissing.
ARG. Cast, father, the knucklebones, so that we may cast next in turn. DEM.
Most certainly.

te, Philaenium, mihi atque uxoris mortem. hoc Venerium est.

you, Philaenium—death to me, and my wife’s death. This is the Venus‑throw.

905
pueri, plaudite et mi ob iactum cantharo mulsum date.
ART. Non queo durare. PAR. Si non didicisti fulloniam,
non mirandum est.

905
boys, applaud, and give me mulsum in a cantharus on account of the throw.
ART. I cannot endure. PAR. If you have not learned fullery, it is not to be wondered at.

*** in oculos invadi optumum est.
ART. Ego pol vivam et tu istaec hodie cum tuo magno malo
invocavisti. PAR. Ecquis currit pollictorem accersere?

*** it is optimum to rush at the eyes.
ART. By Pollux, I shall live, and you have invoked these things today, to your great harm.
PAR. Will anyone run to fetch the undertaker?

910
ARG. Mater, salve. ART. Sat salutis. PAR. Mortuost Demaenetus.

910
ARG. Mother, hail. ART. Enough of salutation. PAR. Demaenetus is dead.

tempus est subducere hinc me; pulchre hoc gliscit proelium.
ibo ad Diabolum, mandata dicam facta ut voluerit,
atque interea ut decumbamus suadebo, hi dum litigant.
poste demum huc cras adducam ad lenam, ut viginti minas

it is time to withdraw myself from here; this battle is swelling nicely.
I will go to Diabolus, I will report the mandates done as he wished,
and meanwhile I will advise that we lie down, while these men litigate.
afterwards at last tomorrow I will bring him here to the bawd, so that twenty minas

915
ei det, in partem hac amanti ut liceat ei potirier.
Argyrippus exorari spero poterit, ut sinat
sese alternas cum illo noctes hac frui. nam ni impetro,
regem perdidi: ex amore tantum est homini incendium.—
ART. Quid tibi hunc receptio ad te est meum virum?

915
let her grant him a share, that it may be permitted for him, the lover of this girl, to possess her.
I hope Argyrippus can be won over, to allow himself to enjoy her on alternate nights with that fellow. For if I do not obtain it,
I have lost the king: so great a conflagration of love is in the man.—
ART. What is this receiving of my husband to your place?

PHIL. Pol me quidem

PHIL. By Pollux, indeed as for me

920
miseram odio enicavit. ART. Surge, amator, i domum.
DEM. Nullus sum.

920
he has killed me, poor me, with his hatred. ART. Get up, lover, go home.
DEM. I am nothing.

ART. Immo es, ne nega, omnium <unus> pol nequissimus.
at etiam cubat cuculus. surge, amator, i domum.

ART. Nay, you are, do not deny it, the <one>, by Pollux, most worthless of all.
but even the cuckoo is lying abed. get up, lover, go home.

DEM. Vae mihi. ART. Vera hariolare. surge, amator, i domum.

DEM. Woe is me. ART. You prophesy truly. Get up, lover, go home.

DEM. Abscede ergo paululum istuc. ART. Surge, amator, i domum.

DEM. Then step aside a little that way. ART. Get up, lover, go home.

925
DEM. Iam obsecro, uxor. ART. Nunc uxorem me esse meministi tuam?
modo, cum dicta in me ingerebas, odium, non uxor eram.

925
DEM. Now, I beseech you, wife. ART. Now you remember that I am your wife?
Just now, when you were heaping words upon me, I was odium, not a wife.

DEM. Totus perii. ART. Quid tandem? anima fetetne uxoris tuae?

DEM. I am utterly ruined. ART. What then? Does your wife's breath stink?

DEM. Murram olet. ART. Iam subrupuisti pallam, quam scorto dares?
PHIL. Ecastor qui subrupturum pallam promisit tibi.

DEM. It smells of myrrh. ART. Have you already surreptitiously filched the mantle to give to a prostitute?
PHIL. By Castor, the one who promised you he would steal the mantle.

930
DEM. Non taces? ARG. Ego dissuadebam, mater. ART. Bellum filium.

930
DEM. Won’t you be silent? ARG. I was dissuading, mother. ART. A fine son.

istoscine patrem aequom est mores liberis largirier?
nilne te pudet? DEM. Pol, si aliud nil sit, tui me, uxor, pudet.

is it equitable for a father to lavish such mores upon his children?
are you ashamed of nothing? DEM. by Pollux, if nothing else, of you, wife, I am ashamed.

ART. Cano capite te cuculum uxor ex lustris rapit.
DEM. Non licet manere (cena coquitur) dum cenem modo?

ART. With a gray head your wife snatches you, a cuckoo, out from the dens of vice.
DEM. Is it not permitted to remain (the dinner is being cooked) just until I dine?

935
ART. Ecastor cenabis hodie, ut dignus es, magnum malum.
DEM. Male cubandum est: iudicatum me uxor abducit domum.
ARG. Dicebam, pater, tibi, ne matri consuleres male.

935
ART. By Castor, you will dine today, as you are worthy, on a great evil.
DEM. There is to be bad sleeping: my wife is abducting me home as adjudged.
ARG. I was telling you, father, not to be taking counsel to mother’s detriment.

PHIL. De palla memento, amabo. DEM. Iuben hanc hinc abscedere?
ART. I domum.

PHIL. Remember about the mantle, please. DEM. Do you order her to depart from here?
ART. Go home.

PHIL. Da savium etiam prius quam abis. DEM. I in crucem.

PHIL. Give me a kiss too, before you go. DEM. Go to the cross.

940
PHIL. Immo intro potius. sequere hac me, mi anime. ARG. Ego vero sequor.

940
PHIL. Nay, rather inside. Follow me this way, my soul. ARG. I indeed follow.

GREX

TROUPE

Hic senex si quid clam uxorem suo animo fecit volup,
neque novom neque mirum fecit nec secus quam alii solent;
nec quisquam est tam ingenio duro nec tam firmo pectore,
quin ubi quicque occasionis sit sibi faciat bene.

If this old man has done anything, unbeknownst to his wife, for his own pleasure,
he has done nothing new nor a marvel, nor otherwise than others are wont;
nor is anyone so hard in temperament nor so firm in heart,
but that, whenever any occasion arises, he does well for himself.

945
nunc si voltis deprecari huic seni ne vapulet,
remur impetrari posse, plausum si clarum datis.

945
now if you wish to intercede for this old man that he not be thrashed,
we think it can be obtained, if you give loud applause.