Apuleius: METAMORPHOSES

[1] Ut primum nocte discussa sol novus diem fecit, et somno simul emersus et lectulo, anxius alioquin et nimis cupidus cognoscendi quae rara miraque sunt, reputansque me media Thessaliae loca tenere qua artis magicae nativa cantamina totius orbis consono orbe celebrentur fabulamque illam optimi comitis Aristomenis de situ civitatis huius exortam, suspensus alioquin et voto simul et studio, curiose singula considerabam. Nec fuit in illa civitate quod aspiciens id esse crederem quod esset, sed omnia prorsus ferali murmure in aliam effigiem translata, ut et lapides quos offenderem de homine duratos et aves quas audirem indidem plumatas et arbores quae pomerium ambirent similiter foliatas et fontanos latices de corporibus humanis fluxos crederem; iam statuas et imagines incessuras, parietes locuturos, boves et id genus pecua dicturas praesagium, de ipso vero caelo et iubaris orbe subito venturum oraculum.

[1] As soon as, the night being dispelled, the new sun made the day, and I, risen together from sleep and my little bed, otherwise anxious and overly eager to know what things are rare and wondrous, and reckoning that I occupied the middle places of Thessaly where the native chants of the magic art are celebrated throughout the whole orb with consonant circle, and that that tale of the excellent comrade Aristomenes about the situation of this city had arisen, suspended both by vow and by zeal, I was curiously considering each thing. Nor was there in that city anything which, looking at it, I would have believed to be what it was, but all things outright, by a funereal murmur, transformed into another likeness, so that I would have thought the stones I struck to be hardened from man, and the birds I heard thence feathered, and the trees that girdled the pomerium likewise foliated, and the springing streams to flow from human bodies; already I would have believed statues and images to walk, walls to speak, oxen and that sort of cattle to utter portents, and from the very heaven and its ring of beams suddenly an oracle to come.

[2] Sic attonitus, immo vero cruciabili desiderio stupidus, nullo quidem initio vel omnino vestigio cupidinis meae reperto cuncta circumibam tamen. Dum in luxum nepotalem similis ostiatim singula pererro, repente me nescius forum cupidinis intuli, et ecce mulierem quampiam frequenti stipatam famulitione ibidem gradientem adcelerato vestigio comprehendo; aurum in gemmis et in tunicis, ibi inflexum, hic intextum, matronam profecto confitebatur. Huius adhaerebat lateri senex iam gravis in annis, qui ut primum me conspexit: "Est," inquit "hercules, est Lucius", et offert osculum et statim incertum quidnam in aurem mulieris obganniit; "Quin" inquit "etiam ipse parentem tuam accedis et salutas?" "Vereor" inquam "ignotae mihi feminae" et statim rubore suffusus deiecto capite restiti.

[2] Thus astonished, nay rather stupefied with a crucifying desire, with no beginning or indeed any trace of my longing to be found, I nevertheless went about everything. While, like one born to nepotal luxury, ostentatiously I wandered through each item, suddenly, unknowingly, I entered the forum of desire, and behold I overtook a certain woman there walking with a hasty step, closely thronged by servitors; gold in gems and in tunics, here folded, there woven, proclaimed her surely a matron. At her side clung an old man already heavy with years, who as soon as he caught sight of me said, "By Hercules, it is Lucius," and offered a kiss and immediately whispered something uncertain into the woman's ear; "Why," he added, "do you not yourself also go up and greet your parent?" "I fear," I said, "a woman unknown to me," and immediately, suffused with blush and with head cast down, I stood back.

At illa optutum in me conversa: "En" inquit "sanctissimae Salvae matris generosa probitas, sed et cetera corporis exsecrabiliter ad [regulam qua diligenter aliquid adfingunt] <amus>sim congruentia: inenormis proceritas, suculenta gracilitas, rubor temperatus, flavum et inadfectatum capillitium, oculi caesii quidem, sed vigiles et in aspectu micantes, prorsus aquilini, os quoquoversum floridum, speciosus et immeditatus incessus."

But she, having turned her longed-for gaze to me, said: "Behold the noble probity of the most holy mother Salva, and the rest of the body, execrably in conformity with [the rule by which they carefully attach something] <amus>sim: of extraordinary height, succulent gracility, a tempered blush, yellow and unadulterated hair, eyes indeed gray-blue but watchful and flashing in their aspect, altogether aquiline, a mouth rosy on every side, a comely and unpremeditated gait."

[3] Et adiecit: "Ego te, o Luci, meis istis manibus educavi, quidni? parentis tuae non modo sanguinis, verum alimoniarum etiam socia. Nam et familia Plutarchi ambae prognatae sumus et eandem nutricem simul bibimus et in nexu germanitatis una coalvimus.

[3] And he added: "I reared you, O Lucius, with these my hands, why not? not only a kinswoman by your parent's blood, but also a partner in alimentary care. For we both sprang from the household of Plutarch and drank at the same nurse, and together we were fostered in the bond of germanity.

Nec aliud nos quam dignitas discernit, quod illa clarissimas ego privatas nuptias fecerimus. Ego sum Byrrhena illa, cuius forte saepicule nomen inter tuos educatores frequentatum retines. Accede itaque hospitium fiducia, immo vero iam tuum proprium larem." Ad haec ego, iam sermonis ipsius mora rubore digesto: "Absit," inquam parens, ut Milonem hospitem sine ulla querela deseram; sed plane, quod officiis integris potest effici, curabo sedulo.

Nor does anything else distinguish us but dignity, namely that I have made those most illustrious private nuptials. I am that Byrrhena, whose name, perchance often, you will remember as oft cited among your educators. So accept hospitality with confidence, nay indeed now your very own hearth." To this I, my very pause of speech already swallowed by a blush, replied: "Far be it," I say, parent, that I should forsake Milo as a guest without any complaint; but plainly, what can be effected by upright duties I will diligently provide for.

Quotiens itineris huius ratio nascetur, numquam erit ut non apud te devertar." Dum hunc et huius modi sermonem altercamur, paucis admodum confectis passibus ad domum Byrrhenae pervenimus.

"Whenever an account of this journey is begun, there will never be a time when I do not turn aside at your house." While we argued this and similar talk, after only very few steps taken we arrived at Byrrhena's house.

[4] Atria longe pulcherrima columnis quadrifariam per singulos angulos stantibus attolerabant statuas, palmaris deae facies, quae pinnis explicitis sine gressu pilae volubilis instabile vestigium plantis roscidis delibantes nec ut maneant inhaerent et iam volare creduntur. Ecce lapis Parius in Dianam factus tenet libratam totius loci medietatem, signum perfecte luculentum, veste reflatum, procursu vegetum, introeuntibus obvium et maiestate numinis venerabile; canes utrimquesecus deae latera muniunt, qui canes et ipsi lapis erant; his oculi minantur, aures rigent, nares hiant, ora saeviunt, et sicunde de proximo latratus ingruerit, eum putabis de faucibus lapidis exire, et in quo summum specimen operae fabrilis egregius ille signifex prodidit, sublatis canibus in pectus arduis pedes imi resistunt, currunt priores. Pone tergum deae saxum insurgit in speluncae modum muscis et herbis et foliis et virgultis et sicubi pampinis et arbusculis alibi de lapide florentibus.

[4] The halls, very beautiful by far, upborne by columns standing fourfold at each corner, bore statues, the countenance of the palm-bearing goddess, who with feathers outspread, without step, like a spinning ball leaves an unstable footprint, wiping dewy plants and not so much to remain as to cling, and are already thought to fly. Behold a Parian stone, made into Diana, holds poised the balanced half of the whole place, a perfectly splendid sign, her robe breathed upon, lively in forward motion, meeting those who enter and venerable in the majesty of her numen; dogs on both sides guard the goddess’ flanks, which dogs themselves were stone; their eyes threaten, their ears stand stiff, their nostrils gape, their mouths grow savage, and if from near a barking rushes in, you will think it issues from the jaws of the stone, and in which the supreme exemplar of the craftsman that excellent sculptor revealed — with the dogs lifted upon the high breast the low feet press against the steep chest, the foremost run forward. Behind the goddess a rock rises like a cavern, with moss and herbs and leaves and shrubs, and wherever vines and little trees elsewhere spring from the stone they blossom.

Splendet intus umbra signi de nitore lapidis. Sub extrema saxi margine poma et uvae faberrime politae dependent, quas ars aemula naturae veritati similes explicuit. Putes ad cibum inde quaedam, cum mustulentus autumnus maturum colorem adflaverit, posse decerpi, et si fontem, qui deae vestigio discurrens in lenem vibratur undam, pronus aspexeris, credes illos ut rure pendentes racemos inter cetera veritatis nec agitationis officio carere.

Within, the image's shadow gleams from the luster of the stone. Beneath the outer margin of the rock apples and grapes hang most exquisitely polished, which art, emulating nature, has displayed like verities. You would suppose some of them could be plucked for food when must-laden autumn has breathed a ripe color upon them; and if, leaning forward, you have looked at the spring, which, running from the goddess's footprint, trembles into a gentle wave, you will believe that those clusters, hanging as in the countryside among other things, lack neither truthfulness nor the effect of stirring.

Inter medias frondes lapidis Actaeon simulacrum curioso optutu in deam [sum] proiectus iam in cervum ferinus et in saxo simul et in fronte loturam Dianam opperiens visitur.

Among the midmost leaves of the stone the simulacrum of Actaeon, cast toward the goddess with a curious gaze, is seen — now made ferine into a stag and at once into the rock, and awaiting Diana’s bathing upon its brow.

[5] Dum haec identidem rimabundus eximie delector, "Tua sunt" ait Byrrhena "cuncta quae vides", et cum dicto ceteros omnes sermone secreto decedere praecipit. Quibus dispulsis omnibus: "Per hanc" inquit, "deam, o Luci carissime, ut anxie tibi metuo et ut pote pignori meo longe provisum cupio, cave tibi, sed cave fortiter a malis artibus et facinorosis illecebris Pamphiles illius, quae cum Milone isto, quem dicis hospitem, nupta est. Maga primi nominis et omnis carminis sepulcralis magistra creditur, quae surculis et lapillis et id genus frivolis inhalatis omnem istam lucem mundi sideralis imis Tartari et in vetustum chaos submergere novit.

[5] While repeatedly prying into these things I am singularly delighted; "They are all yours," says Byrrhena, "all that you see," and with the word she bids all the others withdraw in a hush. When all these were scattered she said, "By this goddess, O most dear Lucius, since I fear for you anxiously and, insofar as I would have you preserved as my pledge at a distance, I desire it, beware for yourself — but beware strongly — of the evil arts and criminal enticements of that Pamphile of hers, who is married to that Milo you call a guest. She is reckoned a witch by name and mistress of every sepulchral charm, who, by inhaling little shoots and pebbles and such frivolous stuff, knows how to plunge all that starry light of the world into the lowest Tartarus and into primeval Chaos."

Nam simul quemque conspexerit speciosae formae iuvenem, venustate eius sumitur et ilico in eum et oculum et animum detorquet. Serit blanditias, invadit spiritum, amoris profundi pedicis aeternis alligat. Tunc minus morigeros et vilis fastidio in saxa et in pecua et quodvis animal puncto reformat, alios vero prorsus extinguit.

For as soon as he has beheld any youth of comely form, he is seized by his venustas and straightway turns both his eye and his mind toward him. He sows blandishments, invades the spirit, and binds with the eternal fetters of deep love. Then he transforms the less modest and the vile with a puncture into rocks and into flocks and into any animal; others he utterly destroys.

Haec tibi trepido et cavenda censeo. Nam et illa uritur perpetuum et tu per aetatem et pulchritudinem capax eius es." Haec mecum Byrrhena satis anxia.

I counsel these things to you, trembling one, and to be guarded. For she too is ever afire, and you by age and beauty are apt to her. These things, rather anxious, Byrrhena spoke to me.

[6] At ego curiosus alioquin, ut primum artis magicae semper optatum nomen audivi, tantum a cautela Pamphiles afui ut etiam ultro gestirem tali magisterio me volens ampla cum mercede tradere et prorsus in ipsum barathrum saltu concito praecipitare. Festinus denique et vecors animi manu eius velut catena quadam memet expedio et "Salve" propere addito ad Milonis hospitium perniciter evolo. Ac dum amenti similis celero vestigium, "Age," inquam, "o Luci, evigila et tecum esto.

[6] But I, otherwise curious, as soon as I heard the long-desired name of the magical art, was so far from caution that I even eagerly wished to practice such a mastery, to hand it over to me for ample pay and altogether, by a headlong leap, to hurl myself into the very abyss. At last, hasty and mad in mind, I free myself from his hand as from a kind of chain and, having quickly added "Greetings," I swiftly fly to Milo's lodging. And while, like one frantic, I make a swift step, "Come," I said, "O Lucius, awake and be with yourself."

Habes exoptatam occasionem, et voto diutino poteris fabulis miris explere pectus. Aufer formidines pueriles, comminus cum re ipsa naviter congredere, et a nexu quidem venerio hospitis tuae tempera et probi Milonis genialem torum religiosus suspice, verum enimvero Photis famula petatur enixe. Nam et forma scitula et moribus ludicra et prorsus argutula est.

You have the longed-for occasion, and with your long-standing desire you will be able to fill your pectus with marvelous fables. Remove childish fears, engage hand-to-hand with the thing itself with strenuous vigor, and from the bond temper your venereal yearning for your guest, and, reverent, behold Milo’s upright genial couch; but in truth press eagerly after Photis the maidservant. For she is clever in form, playful in manners, and altogether witty.

Vesperi quoque cum somno concederes, et in cubiculo te deduxit comiter et blande lectulo collocavit et satis amanter cooperuit et osculato tuo capite quam invita discederet vultu prodidit, denique saepe retrorsa respiciens substitit. Quod bonum felix et faustum itaque, licet salutare non erit, Photis illa temptetur."

And in the evening, when you too would give yourself up to sleep, she courteously led you into the bedroom and gently laid you on the little bed and covered you quite lovingly, and having kissed your head she betrayed by a face unwilling to go that she would depart; at last, often looking back, she stopped. Which good—therefore fortunate and auspicious, although it will not be salutary—let that be tried on Photis.

[7] Haec mecum ipse disputans fores Milonis accedo et, quod aiunt, pedibus in sententiam meam vado. Nec tamen domi Milonem vel uxorem eius offendo, sed tantum caram meam Photidem: suis parabat isicium fartim concisum et pulpam frustatim consectam ambacupascuae iurulenta et quod naribus iam inde ariolabar, tuccetum perquam sapidissimum. Ipsa linea tunica mundule amicta et russea fasceola praenitente altiuscule sub ipsas papillas succinctula illud cibarium vasculum floridis palmulis rotabat in circulum, et in orbis flexibus crebra succutiens et simul membra sua leniter inlubricans, lumbis sensim vibrantibus, spinam mobilem quatiens placide decenter undabat.

[7] While I was arguing these things to myself I approach Milon’s doors and, as they say, I go with my feet to my own resolve. Yet I do not offend Milon at home nor his wife, but only my dear Photis: he was preparing for her a little portion of crusted pastry and a pulp cut into strips, a savory medley and, as I was already sniffing it with my nostrils, a very delicious tuccetum. She herself, clad in a thin tunic neatly wrapped and with a reddish little sash showing, drawn somewhat high just beneath her very breasts, a little girdle, turned that small food-vessel with its flowered little palms in a circle, and, frequently shaking it in the bends of the ring and at the same time gently anointing her limbs, her loins vibrating slowly, shaking her supple spine, she undulated placidly and becomingly.

Isto aspectu defixus obstupui et mirabundus steti, steterunt et membra quae iacebant ante. Et tandem ad illam: "Quam pulchre quamque festive," inquam "Photis mea, ollulam istam cum natibus intorques! Quam mellitum pulmentum apparas!

Fixed on that sight I was struck dumb and stood amazed, and the limbs that had lain down stood up as well. And at last to her: "How fair and how festive," I said, "my Photis, you twist that little pot with breasts! What a honeyed mess you prepare!

Felix et <certo> certius beatus cui permiseris illuc digitum intingere." Tunc illa lepida alioquin et dicacula puella: "Discede," inquit "miselle, quam procul a meo foculo, discede. Nam si te vel modice meus igniculus afflaverit, ureris intime nec ullus extinguet ardorem tuum nisi ego, quae dulce condiens et ollam et lectulum suave quatere novi."

Happy and <certo> more certainly blessed is he to whom you will permit to dip his finger there." Then that charming and talkative girl said: "Depart, poor thing, how far from my hearth, depart. For if even a little my little fire breathes upon you, you will be burned inwardly and no one will extinguish your ardor except I, who, sweetly seasoning, know how to rock both pot and little bed gently."

[8] Haec dicens in me respexit et risit. Nec tamen ego prius inde discessi quam diligenter omnem eius explorassem habitudinem. Vel quid ego de ceteris aio, cum semper mihi unica cura fuerit caput capillumque sedulo et puplice prius intueri et domi postea perfrui sitque iudicii huius apud me certa et statuta ratio, vel <quod..> vel quod praecipua pars ista corporis in aperto et in perspicuo posita prima nostris luminibus occurrit et quod in ceteris membris floridae vestis hilaris color, hoc in capite nitor nativus operatur; denique pleraeque indolem gratiamque suam probaturae lacinias omnes exuunt, amicula dimovent, nudam pulchritudinem suam praebere se gestiunt magis de cutis roseo rubore quam de vestis aureo colore placiturae.

[8] Saying this she looked back at me and laughed. Yet I did not depart from there until I had carefully examined every bearing of her. Or why speak of the rest, when my sole care always has been to regard diligently the head and hair first in public and to enjoy them afterward at home, and let the rule of this judgment be a certain and settled reason with me, or <quod..> — or that this chief part of the body, placed in the open and in plain sight, meets our eyes first, and what in the other members the flourishing color of gay dress effects, that native sheen produces in the head; finally most cast off all the fringe and trimmings that test their nature and grace, they shift aside the little jacket, and are eager to show their naked beauty, more desirous to please by the rosy blush of the skin than by the golden hue of their garment.

At vero — quod nefas dicere, nec quod sit ullum huius rei tam dirum exemplum! — si cuiuslibet eximiae pulcherrimaeque feminae caput capillo spoliaveris et faciem nativa specie nudaveris, licet illa caelo deiecta, mari edita, fluctibus educata, licet inquam ipsa Venus fuerit, licet omni Gratiarum choro stipata et toto Cupidinum populo comitata et balteo suo cincta, cinnama flagrans et balsama rorans, calva processerit, placere non poterit nec Vulcano suo.

But truly — which it is nefas to say, nor is there any example of this matter so dire! — if you strip the head of any eminent and most beautiful woman of her hair and bare her face of its native aspect, though she were cast down from heaven, born of the sea, reared by the waves, yea, I say, though she herself were Venus, though crowded with the whole chorus of the Graces and attended by the entire people of Cupids and girded with her zone, blazing with cinnamon and dripping with balsam, if she proceed bald she will not be able to please, not even her Vulcan.

[9] Quid cum capillis color gratus et nitor splendidus inlucet et contra solis aciem vegetus fulgurat vel placidus renitet aut in contrariam gratiam variat aspectum et nunc aurum coruscans in lenem mellis deprimitur umbram, nunc corvina nigredine caerulus columbarum colli flosculos aemulatur, vel cum guttis Arabicis obunctus et pectinis arguti dente tenui discriminatus et pone versum coactus amatoris oculis occurrens ad instar speculi reddit imaginem gratiorem? Quid cum frequenti subole spissus cumulat verticem vel prolixa serie porrectus dorsa permanat? Tanta denique est capillamenti dignitas ut quamvis auro veste gemmis omnique cetero mundo exornata mulier incedat, tamen, nisi capillum distinxerit, ornata non possit audire.

[9] What when in the hair a pleasing hue and a splendid sheen shines forth, and, opposite the sun’s ray, vigorous it gleams or serenely gleams, or alters its look into a contrary grace, now flashing gold is subdued into the gentle shade of honey, now with raven-like blackness a bluish tint rivals the little blossoms of doves’ necks, or when bedewed with Arabian drops and combed with a fine-toothed, keen comb and, bent back, meeting the lover’s eyes, it returns an image like a mirror more pleasing? What when, thick with frequent progeny, it heaps the crown, or stretched out in a long array the backs remain? Finally, so great is the dignity of hair that although a woman may walk forth adorned with gold, silk, gems and every other trifle of the world, yet, unless she has arranged her hair, she cannot be called adorned.

Sed in mea Photide non operosus sed inordinatus ornatus addebat gratiam. Uberes enim crines leniter remissos et cervice dependulos ac dein per colla dispositos sensimque sinuatos patagio residentes paulisper ad finem conglobatos in summum verticem nodus adstrinxerat.

But on my Photis an unlaborious, indeed an inordinate, ornament added grace. For abundant tresses, gently let down and dangling from the neck, and then arranged along the neck and gradually sinuated, resting on the patagium, having been gathered together a little toward their ends, he had bound into a knot on the highest crown.

[10] Nec diutius quivi tantum cruciatum voluptatis eximiae sustinere, sed pronus in eam, qua fine summum cacumen capillus ascendit, mellitissimum illum savium impressi. Tum illa cervicem intorsit et ad me conversa limis et morsicantibus oculis: "Heus ut, scolastice," ait "dulce et amarum gustulum carpis. Cave ne nimia mellis dulcedinem diutinam bilis amaritudinem contrahas." "Quid istic" inquam "est, mea festivitas, cum sim paratus vel uno saviolo interim recreatus super istum ignem porrectus assari" et cum dicto artius eam complexus coepi saviari.

[10] Nor could I any longer endure so great a torment of exquisite pleasure, but leaning forward upon that place where at the end the very tip of the hair rises, I pressed that most honeyed saviolum upon it. Then she turned her neck and, facing me with rubbing and nibbling eyes, said, "Hey you scholastic, you pluck a little sweet-and-bitter taste. Beware lest by too much sweetness of honey you long incur the bitterness of gall." "What is that there," I said, "my delight, since I am ready, having been meanwhile refreshed by one little saviolum, to be roasted stretched out over that fire?" and with the word I embraced her more closely and began to savour her.

Iamque aemula libidine in amoris parilitatem congermanescenti mecum, iam patentis oris inhalatu cinnameo et occursantis linguae inlisu nectareo prona cupidine adlibescenti: "Pereo", inquam "immo iam dudum perii, nisi tu propitiaris". Ad haec illa rursum me deosculato: "Bono animo esto," inquit "nam ego tibi mutua voluntate mancipata sum, nec voluptas nostra differetur ulterius, sed prima face cubiculum tuum adero. Abi ergo ac te compara, tota enim nocte tecum fortiter et ex animo proeliabor."

And now, rival to lust, germinating with me into the parity of love, now, by the open mouth’s cinnamon-like inhalation and by the smiling of the meeting tongue, leaning forward and softening with nectarous desire: "I perish," I say, "nay, I long since perished, unless you propitiate." To this she again, having kissed me: "Be of good heart," she says, "for I have been mancipated to you by mutual will, and our pleasure will not be deferred any further, but with the first torch I will be at your chamber. Go therefore and make yourself ready, for I will fight stoutly and from the heart with you all night long."

[11] His et talibus obgannitis sermonibus inter nos discessum est. Commodum meridies accesserat et mittit mihi Byrrhena xeniola porcum opimum et quinque gallinulas et vini cadum in aetate pretiosi. Tunc ego vocata Photide: "Ecce" inquam "Veneris hortator et armiger Liber advenit ultro.

[11] With these and such prattling speeches between us we parted. A convenient midday had come, and Byrrhena, her little xeniola, sent me a fattish pig and five pullets and a cask of wine of precious age. Then, having called Photis, I said, "Behold, the encourager of Venus and armiger Liber has arrived of his own accord."

Vinum istud hodie sorbamus omne, quod nobis restinguat pudoris ignaviam et alacrem vigorem libidinis incutiat. Hac enim sitarchia navigium Veneris indiget sola, ut in nocte pervigili et oleo lucerna et vino calix abundet." Diem ceterum lavacro ac dein cenae dedimus. Nam Milonis boni concinnaticiam mensulam rogatus adcubueram, quam pote tutus ab uxoris eius aspectu, Byrrhenae monitorum memor, et perinde in eius faciem oculos meos ac si in Avernum lacum formidans deieceram.

Let us drain all this wine today, which may quench the cowardice of modesty in us and infuse a brisk vigour of lust. For this sitarchia alone the ship of Venus needs, that on a wakeful night the lamp with oil and the cup with wine may abound. As for the day, we gave it to a bath and then to supper. For, having been asked about the neat setting of good Milon, I had reclined at the little table, safe from the glance of his wife, mindful of Byrrhena’s warnings, and just so I let my eyes fall toward her face as if fearing the lake Avernus.

Sed adsidue respiciens praeministrantem Photidem inibi recreabar animi, cum ecce iam vesperam lucernam intuens Pamphile: "Quam largus" inquit "imber aderit crastino" et percontanti marito qui comperisset istud respondit sibi lucernam praedicere. Quod dictum ipsius Milo risu secutus: "Grandem" inquit "istam lucernam Sibyllam pascimus, quae cuncta caeli negotia et solem ipsum de specula candelabri contuetur."

But constantly looking back at Photidem, who was serving, there I was refreshed in spirit, when behold already Pamphile, gazing at the evening lamp, said: "What a lavish rain will be upon the morrow," and, to her husband asking who had learned that, she answered that the lamp had foretold it to her. Milo, following this with a laugh, said: "That great lamp we nourish as a Sibyl, which surveys all the affairs of heaven and even beholds the sun itself from the watch-tower of the candlestick."

[12] Ad haec ego subiciens: "Sunt" aio "prima huiusce divinationis experimenta; nec mirum, licet modicum igniculum et manibus humanis laboratum, memorem tamen illius maioris et caelestis ignis velut sui parentis, quid is sit editurus in aetheris vertice divino praesagio et ipsum scire et nobis enuntiare. Nam et Corinthi nunc apud nos passim Chaldaeus quidam hospes miris totam civitatem responsis turbulentat et arcana fatorum stipibus emerendis edicit in vulgum, qui dies copulas nuptiarum adfirmet, qui fundamenta moenium perpetuet, qui negotiatori commodus, qui viatori celebris, qui navigiis opportunus. Mihi denique proventum huius peregrinationis inquirenti multa respondit et oppido mira et satis varia; nunc enim gloriam satis floridam, nunc historiam magnam et incredundam fabulam et libros me futurum."

[12] To this I replying: "They are," I say, "the first experiments of this divination; and no wonder, though a little flame and worked by human hands, yet mindful all the same of that greater and heavenly fire as of its parent, what it is about to bring forth on the summit of the aether by divine presage, and both to know it itself and to proclaim it to us. For even here at Corinth now among us everywhere a certain Chaldean guest disturbs the whole city with wondrous responses and publishes the arcana of the fates to the common crowd for the buying of stakes, who declares which days will favor nuptial unions, who will make the foundations of walls lasting, who is profitable to the merchant, who famed to the traveler, who fit for ships. Finally, to me asking about the success of this journey he answered many things, and of the town wondrous and fairly various; now that I shall have a very flourishing glory, now a great and incredible story and books."

[13] Ad haec renidens Milo: "Qua" inquit "corporis habitudine praeditus quove nomine nuncupatus hic iste Chaldaeus est?" "Procerus" inquam "et suffusculus, Diophanes nomine." "Ipse est" ait "nec ullus alius. Nam et hic apud nos multa multis similiter effatus non parvas stipes, immo vero mercedes opimas iam consecutus fortunae scaevam an saevam verius dixerim miser incidit. Nam die quadam cum frequentis populi circulo conseptus coronae circumstantium fata donaret, Cerdo quidam nomine negotiator accessit eum, diem commodum peregrinationi cupiens.

[13] To this Milo, smiling: "Of what bodily habit is he endowed, and by what name is this Chaldaean called?" "Tall," I said, "and somewhat ruddy, by name Diophanes." "He it is," he said, "and none other. For this man likewise, having addressed many of us with many things, after he had already secured not small fees, nay indeed opulent rewards of fortune, fell into a wretched state — cruel or savage, I should rather say. For on a certain day, when encompassed by a close circle of the crowd, and dispensing the fates to those standing about the crown, a certain merchant named Cerdo approached him, wishing a convenient day for his travel.

Quem cum electum destinasset ille, iam deposita crumina, iam profusis nummulis, iam dinumeratis centum denarium quos mercedem divinationis auferret, ecce quidam de nobilibus adulescentulus a tergo adrepens eum lacinia prehendit et conversum amplexus exosculatur artissime. At ille ubi primum consaviatus eum iuxtim se ut adsidat effecit, [attonitus] et repentinae visionis stupore <attonitus> et praesentis negotii quod gerebat oblitus infit ad eum: "Quam olim equidem exoptatus nobis advenis?". Respondit ad haec ille alius: "Commodum vespera oriente. Sed vicissim tu quoque, frater, mihi memora quem ad modum exinde ut de Euboea insula festinus enavigasti et maris et viae confeceris iter."

When he had chosen and appointed him, that man, now his purse laid aside, now his small coins poured out, now the 100 denarii counted which he would take as the fee of the divination, behold a certain young nobleman creeping up from behind seized his lappet and, having turned him, embraced and kissed him very closely. But when he first, having made him sit close beside him, [astonished] and <astonished> with the stupor of a sudden vision and forgetful of the present business he was conducting, said to him: "How, long desired by me indeed, have you come to us?" To this the other answered: "At a convenient time, evening with the east rising." But in turn you also, brother, tell me how from there you hastened to sail from the island of Euboea and completed the journey both by sea and by road.

[14] Ad haec Diophanes ille Chaldaeus egregius mente viduus necdum suus: "Hostes" inquit "et omnes inimici nostri tam diram, immo vero Ulixeam peregrinationem incidant. Nam et navis ipsa <qua> vehebamur variis turbinibus procellarum quassata utroque regimine amisso aegre ad ulterioris ripae marginem detrusa praeceps demersa est et nos omnibus amissis vix enatavimus. Quodcumque vel ignotorum miseratione vel amicorum benivolentia contraximus, id omne latrocinalis invasit manus, quorum audaciae repugnans etiam Arignotus unicus frater meus sub istis oculis miser iugulatus est." Haec eo adhuc narrante maesto Cerdo ille negotiator correptis nummulis suis, quod divinationis mercedi destinaverat, protinus aufugit.

[14] To this Diophanes, that Chaldaean, outstanding, bereft in mind and not yet himself, said: "May enemies and all our foes fall upon so dire, nay Ulyssan, a peregrination. For the very ship by which we were borne, battered by the various whirlwinds of storms, with both tillers lost, scarcely driven to the margin of the farther shore, was hurled headlong and sunk, and we, having lost all, hardly swam ashore. Whatever we contracted either by the pity of strangers or the benevolence of friends, all of it was invaded by robber hands, and resisting their audacity even Arignotus, my only brother, was miserably slaughtered under these eyes." While he was still narrating these things so dolefully, Cerdo the merchant, having seized his own coins, which he had set aside as the fee of divination, immediately fled.

Ac dehinc tunc demum Diophanes expergitus sensit imprudentiae suae labem, cum etiam nos omnis circumsecus adstantes in clarum cachinnum videret effusos. Sed tibi plane, Luci domine, soli omnium Chaldaeus ille vera dixerit, sisque felix et iter dexterum porrigas."

And then at last Diophanes, awakened, perceived the blot of his imprudence, when he also saw that all of us standing around had been poured forth into loud laughter. But truly to you, Lord Lucius, alone of all, that Chaldaean spoke the truth, and may you be happy and extend a prosperous journey.

[15] Haec Milone diutine sermocinante tacitus ingemescebam mihique non mediocriter suscensebam quod ultro inducta serie inopportunarum fabularum partem bonam vesperae eiusque gratissimum fructum amitterem. Et tandem denique devorato pudore ad Milonem aio: "Ferat suam Diophanes ille fortunam et spolia populorum rursum conferat mari pariter ac terrae; mihi vero fatigationis hesternae etiam nunc saucio da veniam maturius concedam cubitum"; et cum dicto facesso et cubiculum meum contendo atque illic deprehendo epularum dispositiones satis concinnas. Nam et pueris extra limen, credo ut arbitrio nocturni gannitus ablegarentur, humi quam procul distratum fuerat et grabattulum meum adstitit mensula cenae totius honestas reliquias tolerans et calices boni iam infuso latice semipleni solam temperiem sustinentes et lagoena iuxta orificio caesim deasceato patescens facilis hauritu, prorsus gladiatoriae Veneris antecenia.

[15] While Milo conversed for a long time I sighed silently and was not a little vexed with myself because, by that string of ill-timed tales set going of its own accord, I should lose the better part of his evening and its most pleasant fruit. At last, my shame having been consumed, I say to Milo: "Let that Diophanes bear his fortune and restore again the spoils of peoples both to sea and to land; for my part, grant me pardon for yesterday's fatigue, still smarting, and sooner let me retire to bed." With the word I make off to my chamber and there find the arrangements of the feast fairly neat. For outside the threshold, it seems by the voice of the night-watch or some boys sent off, my little bed was spread on the ground at some distance and a little bedside table stood by my pallet bearing the courteous remnants of the whole supper and cups now half-full with a good poured libation maintaining a sober temper, and a flask near its mouth with the cork torn away lying open for easy draught — in short, the preparations of gladiatorial Venus.

[16] Commodum cubueram, et ecce Photis mea, iam domina cubitum reddita, laeta proximat rosa serta et rosa soluta in sinu tuberante. Ac me pressim deosculato et corollis revincto ac flore persperso adripit poculum ac desuper aqua calida iniecta porrigit bibam, idque modico prius quam totum exsorberem clementer invadit ac relictum paullulatim labellis minuens meque respiciens sorbillat dulciter. Sequens et tertium inter nos vicissim et frequens alternat poculum, cum ego iam vino madens nec animo tantum verum etiam corpore ipso ad libidinem inquies alioquin et petulans et iam saucius, paulisper inguinum fine lacinia remota inpatientiam veneris Photidi meae monstrans: "Miserere" inquam "et subveni maturius.

[16] I had lain at ease, when behold my Photis, already returned to bed as mistress, approaches happily with garlands of roses and a loose rose in her swelling bosom. After kissing me closely and binding me with the corollas and sprinkled flower, she snatches a cup and, having poured hot water into it from above, offers it that I should drink; and before I could wholly suck it down she gently falls upon it in small measure and, lessening what remains with her lips, and looking at me, she slurps it sweetly. She follows with a third cup between us in turn and frequently alternates them, while I, already sodden with wine, not only in spirit but in my very body restless for desire, otherwise petulant and now wounded, for a little while with the hem at my groin drawn aside show the impatience of my Photis’s Venus: "Have mercy," I say, "and come to my aid sooner."

Nam, ut vides, proelio quod nobis sine fetiali officio indixeras iam proximante vehementer intentus, ubi primam sagittam saevi Cupidinis in ima praecordia mea delapsam excepi, arcum meum et ipse vigorate tetendi et oppido formido ne nervus rigoris nimietate rumpatur. Sed ut mihi morem plenius gesseris, in effusum laxa crinem et capillo fluente undanter ede complexus amabiles."

For, as you see, in the combat which you had proclaimed against us without the fetial office, I, keenly intent with the fight now drawing near, when I received the first arrow of savage Cupid sliding into the lowest part of my praecordia, myself also vigorously bent my bow and was greatly afraid lest the bow‑string, from excess of tension, be broken. But since you have comported yourself toward me more fully according to custom, loosen your hair into a flowing mass and, with your hair streaming, give forth loving embraces."

[17] Nec mora, cum omnibus illis cibariis vasculis raptim remotis laciniis cunctis suis renudata crinibusque dissolutis ad hilarem lasciviam in speciem Veneris quae marinos fluctus subit pulchre reformata, paulisper etiam glabellum feminal rosea palmula potius obumbrans de industria quam tegens verecundia: "Proeliare" inquit "et fortiter proeliare, nec enim tibi cedam nec terga vortam; comminus in aspectum, si vir es, derige et grassare naviter et occide moriturus. Hodierna pugna non habet missionem." Haec simul dicens inscenso grabattulo super me sensim residens ac crebra subsiliens lubricisque gestibus mobilem spinam quatiens pendulae Veneris fructu me satiavit, usque dum lassis animis et marcidis artibus defetigati simul ambo corruimus inter mutuos amplexus animas anhelantes.His et huius modi conluctationibus ad confinia lucis usque pervigiles egimus poculis interdum lassitudinem refoventes et libidinem incitantes et voluptatem integrantes. Ad cuius noctis exemplar similes adstruximus alias plusculas.

[17] No delay: with all those little dishes of food snatched away, all the garments hastily removed and hair dishevelled, to a merry lasciviousness in the form of Venus who prettily restored the sea-washed waves, and for a little shading the feminine brow with a roseate little palm rather by design than by modest concealment: "Fight," she says, "and fight bravely, for I will neither yield to you nor turn my back; meet me at close quarters, if you are a man, level your glance and stride boldly and kill, you who are about to die. Today's battle knows no reprieve." Saying this, she, having mounted the little couch, slowly sat upon me and, springing often and with slippery gestures shaking the mobile spur with the pendulous fruit of Venus, sated me; until, wearied in spirit and weakened in the limbs, exhausted we two together fell down in mutual embraces, panting souls. With such and similar wrestlings we kept watch up to the borders of dawn, at times restoring our weariness with cups and rousing desire and consummating pleasure. After the pattern of that night we fashioned several other like encounters.

[18] Forte quadam die de me magno opere Byrrhena contendit, apud eam cenulae interessem, et cum impendio excusarem, negavit veniam. Ergo igitur Photis erat adeunda deque nutu eius consilium velut auspicium petendum. Quae quamquam invita quod a se ungue latius digrederer, tamen comiter amatoriae militiae breve commeatum indulsit.

[18] By chance one day Byrrhena hastened about me with great zeal; I was present at her little inn, and when I begged pardon with earnestness, she denied me leave. Therefore Photis had to be approached, and from her nod a plan, as it were an auspice, was to be sought. She, although unwilling that I should depart farther than a finger’s breadth from her, nevertheless courteously granted a brief furlough from her amatory service.

Sed "Heus tu," inquit "cave regrediare cena maturius. Nam vesana factio nobilissimorum iuvenum pacem publicam infestat; passim trucidatos per medias plateas videbis iacere, nec praesidis auxilia longinqua levare civitatem tanta clade possunt. Tibi vero fortunae splendor insidias, contemptus etiam peregrinationis poterit adferre." "Fac sine cura" inquam "sis, Photis mea.

But "Ho there," he says, "beware that you not return from supper too early. For the mad faction of the most noble youths is attacking the public peace; everywhere you will see the slaughtered lying across the middle of the streets, nor can the distant auxiliaries of the governor lift the city from so great a ruin. To you, however, the splendour of fortune may bring snares, even the contempt of a foreign journey." "Take care for nothing," I say, "be, my Photis.

Nam praeter quod epulis alienis voluptates meas anteferrem, metum etiam istum tibi demam maturata regressione. Nec tamen incomitatus ibo. Nam gladiolo solito cinctus altrinsecus ipse salutis meae praesidia gestabo." Sic paratus cenae me committo.

For besides that I would prefer my pleasures to another’s banquets, I will also remove that fear from you by a timely return. Yet I will not go unaccompanied. For girded with my customary dagger I will bear on the other side the bulwarks of my safety myself." Thus prepared for dinner I commit myself.

[19] Frequens ibi numerus epulonum et utpote apud primatem feminam flos ipse civitatis. <Mens>ae opipares citro et ebore nitentes, lecti aureis vestibus intecti, ampli calices variae quidem gratiae sed pretiositatis unius. Hic vitrum fabre sigillatum, ibi crustallum inpunctum, argentum alibi clarum et aurum fulgurans et sucinum mire cavatum et lapides ut binas et quicquid fieri non potest ibi est.

[19] A crowd frequent there of banqueters, and indeed, as at the foremost lady, the very flower of the city. <Mens>ae sumptuous, shining with citron and ivory, couches draped with aureate vestments, moreover goblets of varied grace indeed but of a single preciousness. Here glass artfully sealed, there crystal unspotted, silver elsewhere bright and gold gleaming, and amber wondrously carved, and gems in pairs, and whatever cannot be made is there.

Diribitores plusculi splendide amicti fercula copiosa scitule subministrare, pueri calamistrati pulchre indusiati gemmas formatas in pocula vini vetusti frequenter offerre. Iam inlatis luminibus epularis sermo percrebuit, iam risus adfluens et ioci liberales et cavillus hinc inde. Tum infit ad me Byrrhena: "Quam commode versaris in nostra patria?

The diribitores, rather numerous and splendidly clad, deftly supplied abundant dishes with skill; boys with curled hair, handsomely dressed, frequently offered gem-shaped morsels in goblets of old wine. Now, with lights brought in, the banquet-talk spread throughout, now laughter flowing and liberal jests and raillery here and there. Then Byrrhena said to me: "How comfortably do you fare in our patria?

Quod sciam, templis et lavacris et ceteris operibus longe cunctas civitates antecellimus, utensilium praeterea pollemus adfatim. Certe libertas otiosa, et negotioso quidem advenae Romana frequentia, modesto vero hospiti quies villatica: omni denique provinciae voluptati secessus sumus."

As far as I know, in temples and baths and other works we surpass cities by far, and moreover we abound amply in utensils. Certainly liberty is idle, and the Roman frequents are for the busy adventurer, but for the modest guest there is villatic repose: in short, we have withdrawn into a retreat for every provincial delight.

[20] Ad haec ego subiciens: "Vera memoras nec usquam gentium magis me liberum quam hic fuisse credidi. Sed oppido formido caecas et inevitabiles latebras magicae disciplinae. Nam ne mortuorum quidem sepulchra tuta dicuntur sed ex bustis et rogis reliquiae quaedam et cadaverum praesegmina ad exitiabiles viventium fortunas petuntur, et cantatrices anus in ipso momento choragi funebris praepeti celeritate alienam sepulturam antevortunt." His meis addidit alius: "Immo vero istic nec viventibus quidem ullis parcitur.

[20] To this I replying said: "You speak truthfully, nor anywhere among the peoples did I think myself more free than here. But of the town I fear the blind and inevitable lairs of magical discipline. For not even the tombs of the dead are called safe, but from pyres and funeral heaps certain relics and morsels of corpses are sought toward the ruinous fortunes of the living, and old women chanters at that very moment, with the headman's funeral haste, turn up an alien burial before its time." To these my words another added: "Nay indeed there not even any of the living are spared.

Et nescio qui simile passus ore undique omnifariam deformato truncatus est." Inter haec convivium totum in licentiosos cachinnos effunditur omniumque ora et optutus in unum quempiam angulo secubantem conferuntur. Qui cunctorum obstinatione confusus indigna murmurabundus cum vellet exsurgere, "Immo mi Thelyphron," Byrrhena inquit "et subsiste paulisper et more tuae urbanitatis fabulam illam tuam remetire, ut et filius meus iste Lucius lepidi sermonis tui perfruatur comitate." At ille: "Tu quidem, domina," ait "in officio manes sanctae tuae bonitatis, sed ferenda non est quorundam insolentia." Sic ille commotus. Sed instantia Byrrhenae, quae eum adiuratione suae salutis ingratis cogebant effari, perfecit ut vellet.

"And I know not who, having suffered a like fate, was cut off with his mouth deformed all around in every way." Meanwhile the whole banquet burst into licentious peals of laughter, and the mouths and eyes of all were concentrated upon a certain one sitting apart in a corner. He, confounded by the obstinacy of everyone and murmuring at the indignity, when he would have risen, "No, my Thelyphron," Byrrhena said, "but remain a little and in the manner of your urbanity rehearse that tale of yours again, so that my son Lucius also may partake of the comeliness of your witty discourse." But he: "You indeed, lady," he said, "abide in the duty of your holy kindness, but the insolence of certain people is not to be borne." Thus he was moved. Yet the insistence of Byrrhena, which by an adjuration of her safety pressed him to speak to the ungrateful, brought it about that he consented.

[21] Ac sic aggeratis in cumulum stragulis et effultus in cubitum suberectusque [in torum] porrigit dexteram et ad instar oratorum conformat articulum duobusque infimis conclusis digitis ceteros eminens [porrigens] et infesto pollice clementer subrigens infit Thelyphron: "Pupillus ego Mileto profectus ad spectaculum Olympicum, cum haec etiam loca provinciae famigerabilis adire cuperem, peragrata cuncta Thessalia fuscis avibus Larissam accessi. Ac dum singula pererrans tenuato admodum viatico paupertati meae fomenta conquiro, conspicor medio foro procerum quendam senem. Insistebat lapidem claraque voce praedicabat, siqui mortuum servare vellet, de pretio liceretur.

[21] And thus, piled up on a heap with blankets and propped up to lie down, and having stretched out his right hand erect upon the couch [in torum] and shaped a knuckle like an orator’s with the two lowest fingers closed and the others extended, and with his threatening thumb gently raised, Thelyphron says: "I, a ward, setting out from Miletus to the Olympic spectacle, since I also wished to visit these renowned parts of the province, having traversed all Thessaly with dark-plumed birds, came to Larissa. And while roaming over each place and, my travel-fund greatly reduced, seeking aids to soothe my poverty, I behold in the middle of the forum a certain tall old man. He was setting up a stone and with a clear voice was proclaiming that if anyone wished to preserve a dead man, it could be obtained for a price.

Et ad quempiam praetereuntium "Quid hoc" inquam "comperior? Hicine mortui solent aufugere?" "Tace," respondit ille "nam oppido puer et satis peregrinus es meritoque ignoras Thessaliae te consistere, ubi sagae mulieres ora mortuorum passim demorsicant, eaque sunt illis artis magicae supplementa."

And to some passerby I said, "What is this I find? Do the dead usually flee from here?" "Be silent," he replied, "for you are indeed a youth and quite a stranger to the town, and rightly you do not know that you stand in Thessaly, where sagae-women bite the faces of the dead everywhere, and those are to them the supplements of the art of magic."

[22] Contra ego: "Et quae, tu" inquam "dic sodes, custodela ista feralis?" "Iam primum" respondit ille "perpetem noctem eximie vigilandum est exsertis et inconivis oculis semper in cadaver intentis nec acies usquam devertenda, immo ne obliquanda quidem, quippe cum deterrimae versipelles in quodvis animal ore converso latenter adrepant, ut ipsos etiam oculos Solis et Iustitiae facile frustrentur; nam et aves et rursum canes et mures immo vero etiam muscas induunt. Tunc diris cantaminibus somno custodes obruunt. Nec satis quisquam definire poterit quantas latebras nequissimae mulieres pro libidine sua comminiscuntur.

[22] But I: "And what is that, you," I say, "tell me, this funerary custody?" "First of all," he replied, "one must keep a perpetual night-watch most diligently, with eyes thrust forth and unblinking, ever fixed upon the cadaver, nor may the gaze be turned aside anywhere, indeed not even averted, since the most wicked versipelles secretly creep in, their mouths turned into any animal, so that they easily deceive even the very eyes of Sol and of Iustitia; for they assume the forms of birds, and again of dogs and of mice, nay even of flies. Then with dire chants they overwhelm the guardians with sleep. Nor will anyone be able adequately to define how many lairs the most depraved women contrive for their lust."

Nec tamen huius tam exitiabilis operae merces amplior quam quaterni vel seni ferme offeruntur aurei. Ehem, et quod paene praeterieram, siqui non integrum corpus mane restituerit, quidquid inde decerptum deminutumque fuerit, id omne de facie sua desecto sarcire compellitur."

Nor yet is the pay for so ruinous a work larger than four or, roughly, six aurei are offered. Ah, and what I had almost passed over: if anyone does not restore the corpse whole by morning, whatever has been nibbled away or diminished therefrom, all of that he is compelled to mend by cutting from his own face."

[23] His cognitis animum meum conmasculo et ilico accedens praeconem: "Clamare" inquam "iam desine. Adest custos paratus, cedo praemium." "Mille" inquit "nummum deponentur tibi. Sed heus iuvenis, cave diligenter principum civitatis filii cadaver a malis Harpyiis probe custodias." "Ineptias" inquam "mihi narras et nugas meras.

[23] With these things learned I hearten my spirit and at once, approaching the herald: "Cease to cry out now," I say, "the guard is present and ready; yield the reward." "A thousand coins will be placed for you," he says. "But hey, young man, take care diligently to guard the corpse of the son of the city's princes from the wicked Harpies." "You tell me ineptia and mere trifles," I say.

Vides hominem ferreum et insomnem, certe perspicaciorem ipso Lynceo vel Argo et oculeum totum." Vix finieram, et ilico me perducit ad domum quampiam, cuius ipsis foribus obseptis per quandam brevem posticulam intro vocat me et conclave quoddam obseratis luminibus umbrosum <intrans> demonstrat matronam flebilem fusca veste contectam, quam propter adsistens: "Hic" inquit "auctoratus ad custodiam mariti tui fidenter accessit." At illa crinibus antependulis hinc inde dimotis etiam in maerore luculentam proferens faciem meque respectans: "Vide oro" inquit "quam expergite munus obeas." "Sine cura sis", inquam "modo corollarium idoneum compara."

You see a man of iron and sleepless, certainly more perspicacious than Lynceus himself or Argus and with an entire eye." I had scarcely finished, and straightaway he leads me to some house, whose very doors being barred by bolts through a small wicket he calls me in and shows a certain chamber, shadowed by closed lights <intrans>, a tearful matron covered in a dusky robe; who, standing nearby, "This," she says, "the sworn one has confidently come to the custody of your husband." But she, with her hair hanging forward tossed this way and that, even in her sorrow bringing forth a clear face and looking back at me: "See, I beg," she says, "how dutifully you perform the vigil." "Be without care," I say, "only procure a suitable corollarium."

[24] Sic placito consurrexit et ad alium me cubiculum inducit. Ibi corpus splendentibus linteis coopertum introductis quibusdam septem testibus manu revelat et diutine insuper fleto obtestata fidem praesentium singula demonstrat anxie, verba concepta de industria quodam tabulis praenotante. "Ecce" inquit "nasus integer, incolumes oculi, salvae aures, inlibatae labiae, mentum solidum.

[24] Thus, with her will satisfied she rose and led me into another chamber. There, the body, covered with shining linens, with certain seven witnesses having been brought in, she uncovers with her hand and, having long moreover entreated in tears, she anxiously proves each particular to the faith of those present, words deliberately composed and beforehand noted on tablets. "Behold," she says, "the nose intact, the eyes unharmed, the ears safe, the lips unviolated, the chin firm."

Vos in hanc rem, boni Quirites, testimonium perhibetote", et cum dicto consignatis illis tabulis facessit. At ego: "Iube," inquam "domina, cuncta quae sunt usui necessaria nobis exhiberi." "At quae" inquit "ista sunt?" "Lucerna" aio "praegrandis et oleum ad lucem luci sufficiens et calida cum oenophoris et calice cenarumque reliquis discus ornatus." Tunc illa capite quassanti: "Abi," inquit "fatue, qui in domo funesta cenas et partes requiris, in qua totiugis iam diebus ne fumus quidem visus est ullus. An istic comissatum te venisse credis?

"You, in this matter, good Quirites, give testimony," and with those tablets so consigned he withdrew. But I said, "Command, mistress, that all things necessary for our use be shown to us." "And what are those?" she said. "A very large lamp," I replied, "and oil sufficient for the light, and warm victuals with wine-jugs and a cup and the remaining dishes of the suppers arranged." Then she, shaking her head: "Begone," she said, "fool, who in a funeral house seekest dinners and revels, in which for so many days now not even smoke has been seen. Do you think you came there for a feast?"

Quin sumis potius loco congruentes luctus et lacrimas?" Haec simul dicens respexit ancillulam et: "Myrrhine," inquit "lucernam et oleum trade confestim et incluso custode cubiculo protinus facesse."

"Why do you not rather assume, in their stead, fitting lamentations and tears?" Saying this at once she looked back at the maid and: "Myrrhine," she said, "deliver the lamp and oil immediately, and, with the guard having been cut down, straightaway set the chamber alight."

[25] Sic desolatus ad cadaveris solacium perfrictis oculis et obarmatis ad vigilias animum meum permulcebam cantationibus, cum ecce crepusculum et nox provecta et nox altior et dein concubia altiora et iam nox intempesta. Mihique oppido formido cumulatior quidem cum repente introrepens mustela contra me constitit optutumque acerrimum in me destituit, ut tantillula animalis prae nimia sui fiducia mihi turbarit animum. Denique sic ad illam: "Quin abis," inquam "inpurata bestia, teque ad tui similes musculos recondis, antequam nostri vim praesentariam experiaris?

[25] Thus desolate, with my eyes rubbed for the solace of the corpse and garbed for the vigils, I soothed my mind with chantings, when behold dusk and the night advanced, and a higher night, and then still loftier sleeping-places, and now an unseasonable night. And a greater dread than usual was heaped upon me when suddenly a weasel crept in against me and set a most fierce onslaught upon me, so that so very small an animal, by excessive confidence in itself, disturbed my spirit. Finally I said to it: "Why do you not go," I said, "unclean beast, and hide yourself among little mice like yourself, before you experience our present force?"

Quin abis?" Terga vortit et cubiculo protinus exterminatur. Nec mora, cum me somnus profundus in imum barathrum repente demergit, ut ne deus quidem Delphicus ipse facile discerneret duobus nobis iacentibus quis esset magis mortuus. Sic inanimis et indigens alio custode paene ibi non eram.

"Why don't you go?" It turned its back and was instantly driven out of the chamber. Nor was there delay, when a profound sleep suddenly plunged me into the lowest abyss, so that not even the Delphic god himself would easily have discerned, with the two of us lying there, which was the more dead. Thus lifeless and in need of another guardian, I was almost not there.

[26] Commodum noctis indutias cantus perstrepebat cristatae cohortis. Tandem expergitus et nimio pavore perterritus cadaver accurro et admoto lumine revelataque eius facie rimabar singula, quae cuncta convenerant; ecce uxor misella flens cum hesternis testibus introrumpit anxia et statim corpori superruens multumque ac diu deosculata sub arbitrio luminis recognoscit omnia, et conversa Philodespotum requirit actorem. Ei praecipit bono custodi redderet sine mora praemium, et oblato statim: "Summas" inquit "tibi, iuvenis, gratias agimus et hercules ob sedulum istud ministerium inter ceteros familiares dehinc numerabimus." Ad haec ego insperato lucro diffusus in gaudium et in aureos refulgentes, quos identidem in manu mea ventilabam, attonitus: "Immo," inquam "domina, de famulis tuis unum putato, et quotiens operam nostram desiderabis, fidenter impera." Vix effatum me statim familiares omen nefarium exsecrati raptis cuiusque modi telis insecuntur; pugnis ille malas offendere, scapulas alius cubitis inpingere, palmis infestis hic latera suffodere, calcibus insultare, capillos distrahere, vestem discindere.

[26] The convenience of the night's respite was made noisy by the song of the crested cohort. At last, awakened and terrified by excessive dread, I ran to the corpse and, with a light brought near and its face revealed, I examined each thing that all had agreed upon; behold the poor wife, weeping, bursts in anxiously with yesterday's witnesses and immediately, throwing herself upon the body and having kissed it much and long, recognizes everything under the direction of the light, and, having turned, seeks Philodespotum the actor. She orders that a reward be returned to the good guard without delay, and when offered at once: "We give you our highest thanks, young man," she says, "and by Hercules for this zealous service we will henceforth reckon you among the other familiares." To this I, flushed with unexpected gain and with the golden things gleaming which I kept fanning in my hand, astonished, said, "Nay, mistress, count me one of your servants, and whenever you desire our labour, command with confidence." Hardly had I spoken when the familiares, execrating the ill omen, snatching up weapons of every kind, set upon me; one to strike the jaws with his fists, another to thrust his elbows into the shoulders, this one to stab the sides with hostile palms, to trample with heels, to tear at the hair, to rend the garment.

Sic in modum superbi iuvenis Aoni vel Musici vatis Piplei laceratus atque discerptus domo proturbor.

Thus, in the manner of a proud Aonian youth or of the Muse’s seer Pipleus, lacerated and ripped to pieces, I am thrust forth from the house.

[27] Ac dum in proxima platea refovens animum infausti atque inprovidi sermonis mei sero reminiscor dignumque me pluribus etiam verberibus fuisse merito consentio, ecce iam ultimum defletus atque conclamatus processerat mortuus rituque patrio, utpote unus de optimatibus, pompa funeris publici ductabatur per forum. Occurrit atratus quidam maestus in lacrimis genialem canitiem revellens senex et manibus ambabus invadens torum voce contenta quidem sed adsiduis singultibus impedita: "Per fidem vestram," inquit "Quirites, per pietatem publicam perempto civi subsistite et extremum facinus in nefariam scelestamque istam feminam severiter vindicate. Haec enim nec ullus alius miserum adulescentem, sororis meae filium, in adulteri gratiam et ob praedam hereditariam extinxit veneno." Sic ille senior lamentabiles questus singultim instrepebat.

[27] And while in the near street nursing my spirit and belatedly recalling my ill-omened and heedless speech and admitting that I deserved even more scourges, behold one who had just now been bewailed and loudly lamented had passed away and, with ancestral rite, was being led in funeral pomp through the forum as one of the chief men. A certain mournful man in black met the procession, an old man tearing out his once-pleasant white hair in his tears and assaulting the bier with both hands, his voice indeed uttering words but broken by constant sobs: "By your faith, citizens," he cried, "by public piety, stand for this slain citizen and punish with severity the last outrage upon that impious and wicked woman. For she and no other has destroyed the wretched young man, my sister's son, by adultery and for the sake of his hereditary goods with poison." Thus the elder kept uttering lamentable complaints in gasped sobs.

Saevire vulgus interdum et facti verisimilitudinem ad criminis credulitatem impelli. Conclamant ignem, requirunt saxa, famulos ad exitium mulieris hortantur. Emeditatis ad haec illa fletibus quamque sanctissime poterat adiurans cuncta numina tantum scelus abnuebat.

The mob sometimes rages, and is driven by the verisimilitude of the deed to credulity as to the crime. They cry out for fire, demand stones, and urge their servants to the woman’s destruction. In answer to these things she, by tears and invoking all the numina as piously as she could, denied only the crime.

[28] Ergo igitur senex ille: "Veritatis arbitrium in divinam providentiam reponamus. Zatchlas adest Aegyptius propheta primarius, qui mecum iam dudum grandi praemio pepigit reducere paulisper ab inferis spiritum corpusque istud postliminio mortis animare", et cum dicto iuvenem quempiam linteis amiculis iniectum pedesque palmeis baxeis inductum et adusque deraso capite producit in medium. Huius diu manus deosculatus et ipsa genua contingens: "Miserere," ait "sacerdos, miserere per caelestia sidera per inferna numina per naturalia elementa per nocturna silentia et adyta Coptica et per incrementa Nilotica et arcana Memphitica et sistra Phariaca.

[28] Therefore that old man said: "Let the judgment of truth be reposed in divine providence. Zatchlas is present, an Egyptian chief prophet, who long since bargained with me for a great reward to bring briefly back from the underworld the spirit and to animate this body again by a restitution from death," and with the said words he brings forward into the midst a certain young man wrapped in linen amices, his feet shod in palm-bark sandals and his head shaved close. Having for a long time kissed his hands and even touching his knees, he said: "Have mercy, priest, have mercy by the celestial stars, by the infernal numina, by the natural elements, by the nocturnal silences and the Coptic adyta, and by the growths of the Nile and the Memphite arcana and the Pharian sistra.

Da brevem solis usuram et in aeternum conditis oculis modicam lucem infunde. Non obnitimur <necessitati> nec terrae rem suam denegamus, sed ad ultionis solacium exiguum vitae spatium deprecamur." Propheta sic propitiatus herbulam quampiam ob os corporis et aliam pectori eius imponit. Tunc orientem obversus incrementa solis augusti tacitus imprecatus venerabilis scaenae facie studia praesentium ad miraculum tantum certatim adrexit.

Give a brief usufruct of the sun and pour a modest light into eyes set in eternity. We do not resist <necessity> nor deny the earth its due, but we beseech for a little span of life as consolation for vengeance." The prophet, thus propitiated, places some herb upon the mouth of the body and another upon his chest. Then, turned toward the east, at the risings of the august sun, silent and having uttered an imprecation, the venerable figure, like the face of the scene, eagerly raised the attention of those present to the miracle alone.

[29] Immitto me turbae socium et pone ipsum lectulum editiorem quendam lapidem insistens cuncta curiosis oculis arbitrabar. Iam tumore pectus extolli, iam salebris vena pulsari, iam spiritu corpus impleri; et adsurgit cadaver et profatur adulescens: "Quid, oro, me post Lethea pocula iam Stygiis paludibus innatantem ad momentariae vitae reducitis officia? Desine iam, precor, desine ac me in meam quietem permitte." Haec audita vox de corpore, sed aliquanto propheta commotior: "Quin refers" ait "populo singula tuaeque mortis illuminas arcana?

[29] I mingle myself with the company of the crowd and, setting upon a somewhat higher little couch a certain stone, I surveyed everything with curious eyes. Already I lift my chest with a swelling, already the briny vein is struck, already the body is filled with breath; and the corpse rises and a youth speaks: "What, I pray, do you restore me—after Lethean cups, already floating in the marshes of the Styx—to the duties of momentary life? Cease now, I beg, cease and permit me to my rest." These words were heard from the body, but the prophet, somewhat more moved, said: "Why do you not relate to the people the particulars and illuminate the secrets of your death?"

An non putas devotionibus meis posse Diras invocari, posse tibi membra lassa torqueri?" Suscipit ille de lectulo et imo cum gemitu populum sic adorat: "Malis novae nuptae peremptus artibus et addictus noxio poculo torum tepentem adultero mancipavi." Tunc uxor egregia capit praesentem audaciam et mente sacrilega coarguenti marito resistens altercat. Populus aestuat diversa tendentes, hi pessimam feminam viventem statim cum corpore mariti sepeliendam, alii mendacio cadaveris fidem non habendam.

Do you not think that by my devotions the Dirae can be invoked, that your weary limbs can be tormented?" He rises from the little bed and, from the depths with a groan, thus addresses the people: "By the wicked arts of a new bride slain, and enslaved by a noxious cup, I have delivered the warm marriage-bed to an adulterer." Then the excellent wife seizes on this present audacity and, resisting her husband who accuses her with a sacrilegious mind, disputes. The populace seethes, leaning in different directions: some hold that the most depraved woman, alive, should at once be buried with her husband's body; others think the corpse's mendacious tale is not to be trusted.

[30] Sed hanc cunctationem sequens adulescentis sermo distinxit; nam rursus altius ingemescens: "Dabo," inquit "dabo vobis intemeratae veritatis documenta perlucida et quod prorsus alius nemo cognoverit indicabo." Tunc digito me demonstrans: "Nam cum corporis mei custos hic sagacissimus exsertam mihi teneret vigiliam, cantatrices anus exuviis meis inminentes atque ob id reformatae frustra saepius cum industriam eius fallere nequivissent, postremum iniecta somni nebula eoque in profundam quietem sepulto me nomine ciere non prius desierunt quam dum hebetes artus et membra frigida pigris conatibus ad artis magicae nituntur obsequia. <At> hic utpote vivus quidem sed tantum sopore mortuus, quod eodem mecum vocabulo nuncupatur, ad suum nomen ignarus exsurgit, et in inanimis umbrae modum ultroneus gradiens, quamquam foribus cubiculi diligenter obclusis, per quoddam foramen prosectis naso prius ac mox auribus vicariam pro me lanienam sustinuit. Utque fallaciae reliqua convenirent, ceram in modum prosectarum formatam aurium ei adplicant examussim nasoque ipsius similem comparant.

[30] But this hesitation was cut short by the following speech of the youth; for again, groaning more deeply, he said: "I will give, I will give you clear proofs of undefiled truth and will disclose what truly no other has known." Then, pointing to me with his finger: "For since this most sagacious guardian of my body kept for me a constant wakefulness exposed, the old songstresses, looming over my garments and thus refashioned, after they had often in vain been unable to deceive his industry, at last, a cloud of sleep having been cast upon him and him buried in deep rest, did not cease to call me by name until my dull limbs and cold members, by sluggish exertions, yielded to the ministrations of magical art. But he, as one indeed living yet dead only by slumber—so he is now named—rises unaware of his own name, and, moving voluntarily in the manner of an inanimate shade, although the bedroom doors were carefully bolted, through a certain hole having been made first endured for me a substitute flaying by the nose and soon by the ears. And so that the remaining parts of the imposture might agree, they apply wax fashioned in the likeness of the severed ears to him very exactly and shape it to resemble even his own nose.

Et nunc adsistit miser hic praemium non industriae sed debilitationis consecutus." His dictis perterritus temptare formam adgredior. Iniecta manu nasum prehendo: sequitur; aures pertracto: deruunt. Ac dum directis digitis et detortis nutibus praesentium denotor, dum risus ebullit, inter pedes circumstantium frigido sudore defluens evado.

"And now this wretched man stands by, having gained a reward not of industry but of debilitation." At these words, terrified, I attempt to approach his form. With my hand laid on I seize his nose: it follows; I handle his ears: they come away. And while with outstretched fingers and with twisted gestures I indicate the presence of those about, while laughter boils up, I slip away between the feet of the surrounding crowd, flowing with cold sweat.

Nec postea debilis ac sic ridiculus Lari me patrio reddere potui, sed capillis hinc inde laterum deiectis aurium vulnera celavi, nasi vero dedecus linteolo isto pressim adglutinato decenter obtexi."

Nor afterward could I return to the paternal Lar weak and thus ridiculous, but with hairs let down here and there on the sides I concealed the wounds of my ears, and the disgrace of my nose I decently covered with that little cloth pressed and glued on.

[31] Cum primum Thelyphron hanc fabulam posuit, conpotores vino madidi rursum cachinnum integrant. Dumque bibere solita Risui postulant, sic ad me Byrrhena: "Sollemnis" inquit "dies a primis cunabulis huius urbis conditus crastinus advenit, quo die soli mortalium sanctissimum deum Risum hilaro atque gaudiali ritu propitiamus. Hunc tua praesentia nobis efficies gratiorem.

[31] As soon as Thelyphron set forth this tale, his fellow-drinkers, drenched with wine, renewed their laughter. And while, as was their custom, they called for a libation to Risus, Byrrhena thus to me: "A solemn day, established from the first cradles of this city, approaches tomorrow, on which day, alone among mortals, we propitiate the most holy god Risus with a merry and festive rite. By your presence you will make him more gracious to us.

Atque utinam aliquid de proprio lepore laetificum honorando deo comminiscaris, quo magis pleniusque tanto numini litemus." "Bene" inquam "et fiet ut iubes. Et vellem hercules materiam reperire aliquam quam deus tantus affluenter indueret." Post haec monitu famuli mei, qui noctis admonebat, iam et ipse crapula distentus protinus exsurgo et appellata propere Byrrhena titubante vestigio domuitionem capesso.

And would that you would undertake something joyous out of your own charm in honoring the god, so that we may propitiate that great numen more fully and completely." "Good," I say, "and it shall be done as you order. And would to Hercules I could find some material which so great a god might lavishly clothe." After this, at the admonition of my servant who warned of the night, already I myself, swollen with intoxication, at once rise up, and, Byrrhena having been called quickly, with her staggering step I make for the lodging.

[32] Sed cum primam plateam vadimus, vento repentino lumen quo nitebamur extinguitur, ut vix inprovidae noctis caligine liberati digitis pedum detunsis ob lapides hospitium defessi rediremus. Dumque iam iunctim proximamus, ecce tres quidam vegetes et vastulis corporibus fores nostras ex summis viribus inruentes ac ne praesentia quidem nostra tantillum conterriti sed magis cum aemulatione virium crebrius insultantes, ut nobis ac mihi potissimum non immerito latrones esse et quidem saevissimi viderentur. Statim denique gladium, quem veste mea contectum ad hos usus extuleram, sinu liberatum adripio.

[32] But when we went into the first street, a sudden wind extinguished the lamp by which we were shining, so that, scarcely freed from the unguarded gloom of night, with the toes of our feet bruised on the stones we, weary, returned to our lodging. And while we now approached together, behold three vigorous men, with burly bodies, bursting against our doors with all their might, and not at all daunted by our very presence but rather, with a rivalry of strength, striking more frequently, so that to us and especially to me they rightly seemed to be robbers and indeed very savage ones. At once finally I seize the sword, which I had carried for such uses wrapped in my garment, and, freeing it from my fold, I take hold of it.

Nec cunctatus medios latrones involo ac singulis, ut quemque conluctantem offenderam, altissime demergo, quoad tandem ante ipsa vestigia mea vastis et crebris perforati vulneribus spiritus efflaverint. Sic proeliatus, iam tumultu eo Photide suscitata, patefactis aedibus anhelans et sudore perlutus inrepo meque statim utpote pugna trium latronum in vicem Geryoneae caedis fatigatum lecto simul et somno tradidi.

Not hesitating, I rush into the midst of the robbers and plunge each one I strike, as he struggles, very deep, until at last before my very feet, perforated by vast and repeated wounds, they breathe out their spirits. Thus having fought, now with that tumult raised by Photis, the rooms having been thrown open, panting and drenched in sweat I crawl in, and immediately, wearied as one by a fight with three robbers in succession and by the Geryonean slaughter, I yielded myself up at once to bed and to sleep.