Maximianus: MAXIMIANI ELEGIARVM LIBER

Aemula quid cessas finem properare senectus?
     cur et in hoc fesso corpore tarda uenis?
solue precor miseram tali de carcere uitam:
     mors est iam requies, uiuere poena mihi,
non sum qui fueram: periit pars maxima nostri              5
     hoc quoque quod superest langor et horror habent.

Emulous old age, why do you delay to hasten the end?
     why also do you come slow into this worn-out body?
release, I pray, my wretched life from such a prison:
     death is now rest; to live is punishment for me,
I am not who I was: the greatest part of me has perished              5
     this too which remains languor and horror possess.

lux grauis in luctu, rebus gratissima laetis,
     quodque omni peius funere, uelle mori,
dum iuuenile decus, dum mens sensusque maneret,
     orator toto clarus in orbe fui.              10
saepe poetarum mendacia dulcia finxi
     et ueros titulos res mihi ficta dabat.
saepe perorata percepi lite coronam
     et merui linguae praemia grata meae.
quae cum defectis iam sint immortua membris              15

A heavy light in mourning, most grateful to things joyful,
     and what is worse than any funeral, to wish to die,
while youthful honor, while mind and senses remained,
     I was an orator famous in the whole world.              10
often I fashioned the sweet mendacities of poets
     and a feigned thing was giving me true titles.
often, the suit perorated, I received the crown
     and I earned the pleasing rewards of my tongue.
which, now that my limbs are already failing, have become lifeless              15

     heu senibus uitae portio quanta manet!
nec minor his aderat sublimis gratia formae,
     quae uel si desit, cetera multa placent,
quin etiam uirtus fuluo pretiosior auro,
     per quam praeclarum plus micat ingenium.              20
si libuit celeres arcu temptare sagittas,
     occubuit telis praeda petita meis.
si placuit canibus densos circumdare saltus,
     prostraui multas non sine laude feras.

     alas, how great a portion of life remains for the old!
nor was the lofty grace of form less present than these,
     which, even if it be lacking, many other things still please,
nay even virtue, more precious than tawny gold,
     through which a most illustrious genius shines the more.              20
if it pleased me to test the swift arrows with the bow,
     the sought prey fell to my weapons.
if it pleased to encircle the dense glades with hounds,
     I laid low many wild beasts, not without praise.

dulce fuit madidam si fors uersare palaestram,              25
     implicui ualidis lubrica membra toris.
nunc agili cursu cunctos anteire solebam,
     nunc tragici cantus exuperare melos.
augebat meritum dulcis mixtura bonorum,
     ut semper uarium plus micat artis opus.              30

sweet it was, if by chance to ply the dripping palaestra,              25
     I intertwined my slippery limbs with strong thews.
now with agile running I used to outstrip all,
     now to surpass the melody of tragic song.
the sweet commixture of good things increased the merit,
     so that the ever-varied work of art flashes the more.              30

nam quaecumque solent per se perpensa placere,
     alterno potius iuncta decore placent.
has inter uirtutis opes tolerantia rerum.
     spernebat cunctas insuperata minas:
uertice nudato uentos pluuiasque ferebam,              35
     non mihi solstitium, non graue frigus erat:
innabam gelidas Tiberini gurgitis undas
     nec timui dubio credere membra freto.

for whatever things are wont to please when weighed by themselves,
     please rather when joined with alternate grace.
among these resources of virtue, endurance of circumstances.
     unconquered, it scorned all threats:
with head bared I bore winds and rains,              35
     for me neither the solstice nor heavy cold was anything:
I used to swim the icy waves of the eddy of the Tiber,
     nor did I fear to entrust my limbs to an uncertain strait.

quamuis exiguo poteram requiescere somno
     et quamuis modico membra fouere cibo;              40
at si me subito uinosus repperit hospes
     aut fecit laetus sumere multa dies,
cessit et ipse pater Bacchus stupuitque bibentem
     et, qui cuncta solet uincere, uictus abit.
haut facile est animum tantis inflectere rebus,              45

although i could rest with scant sleep
     and although to cherish my limbs with modest food;              40
but if a vinous host suddenly found me
     or a merry day made me take many draughts,
even father bacchus yielded and stood amazed at me drinking
     and he, who is wont to conquer all, departs conquered.
it is hardly easy to bend the mind to such great matters,              45

     ut res oppositas mens ferat una duas:
hoc quoque uirtutum quondam certamine magnum
     Socratem palmam promeruisse ferunt,
hinc etiam rigidum memorant ualuisse Catonem:
     non res in uitium, sed male facta cadunt.              50
intrepidus quaecumque forent ad utrasque ferebar:
     cedebant animo tristia cuncta meo.
pauperiem modico contentus semper amaui
     et rerum dominus nil cupiendo fui.
tu me sola tibi subdis, miseranda senectus,              55
     cui cedit quicquid uincere cuncta potest.

     that one mind may bear two opposite things:
this too, in a contest of virtues once upon a time, they say
     that great socrates earned the palm,
hence too they recount that rigid cato prevailed:
     not things fall into vice, but ill-done deeds do.              50
intrepid, whatever they might be, i was borne toward either side:
     all gloomy things yielded to my spirit.
poverty i always loved, content with a modicum,
     and by desiring nothing i was lord of things.
you alone subject me to yourself, pitiable old age,              55
     to whom whatever can conquer all gives way.

in te corruimus, tua sunt quaecumque fatiscunt,
ultima teque tuo conficis ipsa malo.
ergo his ornatum meritis prouincia tota
optabat natis me sociare suis: 60

in you we collapse; yours are whatever things wear out,
the last things, and you even finish yourself by your own ill.
therefore the whole province, me adorned with these merits,
was wishing to associate me with its sons: 60

sed mihi dulce magis resoluto uiuere collo
     nullaque coniugii uincula grata pati.
ibam per mediam uenali corpore Romam
     spectandus cunctis undique uirginibus.
quaeque peti poterat, fuerat uel forte petita,              65
     erubuit uultum uisa puella meum
et modo subridens latebras fugitiua petebat
     non tamen effugiens tota latere uolens,
sed magis ex aliqua cupiebat parte uideri,
     laetior hoc potius quod male tecta fuit.              70
sic cunctis formosus ego gratusque uidebar
     omnibus, et sponsus hic generalis eram,
sed tantum sponsus; nam me natura pudicum
     fecerat, et casto pectore durus eram.

but to me it was sweeter to live with the collar loosened
     and to submit to no bonds of wedlock as welcome.
I was going through the midst of Rome with a body for sale,
     to be looked at by all the maidens from every side.
and any girl who could be sought, or perhaps had already been sought,              65
     blushed in her face when she saw mine;
and just now smiling a little, the fugitive was seeking hiding places,
     yet not escaping, not willing to lie wholly hidden,
but rather she desired to be seen from some part,
     happier at this rather, that she was ill-covered.              70
thus to all I seemed handsome and pleasing
     to everyone, and here I was the universal bridegroom,
but only a bridegroom; for nature had made me modest,
     and I was stern in a chaste breast.

nam dum praecipue cupio me iungere formae, 75

for while I especially desire to join myself to beauty, 75

     permansi uiduo frigidus usque toro.
omnis foeda mihi atque omnis mihi rustica uisa est
     nullaque coniugio digna puella meo.
horrebam tenues, horrebam corpore pingues,
     non mihi grata breuis, non mihi longa fuit.              80
cum media tantum dilexi ludere forma;
     maior enim mediis gratia rebus inest.

     I remained cold upon a widowed couch all along.
every one seemed foul to me and every one seemed rustic to me,
     and no girl was worthy of my marriage.
I shuddered at the slender, I shuddered at those fat in body,
     the short was not pleasing to me, nor was the tall.              80
since I delighted only to sport with a middle form;
     for a greater grace resides in middle things.

corporis has nostri mollis lasciuia partes
     incolit, has sedes mater amoris habet.
quaerebam gracilem, sed quae non macra fuisset:              85
     carnis ad officium carnea membra placent.
sit quod in amplexu delectet stringere corpus,
     ne laedant pressum quaelibet ossa latus.

the soft lasciviousness inhabits these parts of our body
     it inhabits them; the mother of Love holds these seats.
I was seeking a slender one, but one who was not lean:              85
     for the office of flesh, fleshy limbs are pleasing.
let there be something in the embrace to delight in pressing tight the body,
     lest whatever bones wound the side when pressed.

candida contempsi, nisi quae suffusa rubore
uernarent propriis ora serena rosis. 90

I contemned the fair, unless those suffused with blush
whose serene faces were blooming with their own roses. 90

hunc Venus ante alios sibi uindicat ipsa colorem,
     diligit et florem Cypris ubique suum.
aurea caesaries demissaque lactea ceruix
     uultibus ingenuis uisa sedere magis.
nigra supercilia, frons libera, lumina nigra              95
     urebant animum saepe notata meum.

this color Venus herself claims for herself before others,
     and Cypris everywhere cherishes her own flower.
golden hair, and a milk-white neck bent down,
     seemed to sit more becomingly on ingenuous features.
black eyebrows, a free brow, black eyes              95
     often, when noted, seared my mind.

flammea dilexi modicumque tumentia labra,
     quae gustata mihi basia plena darent.
in tereti collo uisum est pretiosius aurum,
     gemma et iudicio plus radiare meo.              100
singula turpe seni quondam quaesita referre;
     et quod tunc decuit, iam modo crimen habet.
diuersos diuersa iuuant: non omnibus annis
     omnia conueniunt: res prius apta nocet.

I loved flame-colored, and lips swelling a little,
     which, when tasted, would grant me kisses full.
on a rounded neck the gold seemed more precious,
     and the gem to radiate more, in my judgment.              100
it is shameful for an old man to recount particulars once sought;
     and what then was seemly now presently has the name of a crime.
diverse things delight diverse people: not in all years
     do all things suit: a thing earlier apt harms.

exultat leuitate puer, grauitate senectus: 105

the boy exults in levity, old age in gravity: 105

     inter utrumque manens stat iuuenile decus.
hunc tacitum tristemque decet, fit clarior ille
     laetitia et linguae garrulitate suae.
cuncta trahit secum uertitque uolubile tempus
     nec patitur certa currere quaeque uia.              110
nunc quod longa mihi grauis est et inutile aetas,
     uiuere cum nequeam, sit mihi posse mori.

     remaining between the two stands youthful grace.
it befits this one to be silent and sad; that one becomes brighter
     by joy and by the garrulity of his own tongue.
the rolling time drags all things with it and turns them,
     nor does it allow each thing to run by a fixed path.              110
now, because a long age is burdensome and useless to me,
     since I cannot live, may it be mine to be able to die.

o quam dura premit miseros condicio uitae:
     nec mors humano subiacet arbitrio.
dulce mori miseris, sed mors optata recedit:              115
     at cum tristis erit praecipitata uenit.
me uero heu tantis defunctum in partibus olim
     uiuum Tartareas constat inire uias.

O how hard the condition of life presses the wretched:
     nor is death subject to human discretion.
It is sweet for the wretched to die, but the wished-for death recedes:              115
     but when it will be grim, it comes precipitate.
But as for me—alas—though long ago discharged from such great duties,
     it is certain that, alive, I enter the Tartarean ways.

iam minor auditus, gustus minor; ipsa caligant
lumina; uix tactu noscere certa queo; 120

now hearing is diminished, taste diminished; my very eyes grow dark
hardly by touch can I recognize sure things. 120

nullus dulcis odor, nulla est iam grata uoluptas:
     sensibus expertem quis superesse putet?
en Lethaea meam subeunt obliuia mentem,
     nec confusa sui iam meminisse potest:
ad nullum consurgit opus, cum corpore languet              125
     atque intenta suis astupet illa malis.
carmina nulla cano: cantandi summa uoluptas
     effugit et uocis gratia uera perit.

no sweet odor, no pleasure now is welcome:
     who would think one bereft of senses could survive?
lo, Lethean oblivions steal over my mind,
     nor, confounded as to itself, can it now remember:
to no task does it rise, since with the body it languishes              125
     and, intent on its own evils, it stands stupefied.
no songs do I sing: the highest pleasure of singing
     has fled, and the true grace of the voice perishes.

non fora sollicito, non blanda poemata fingo,
     litibus haut rabidis commoda iura sequor.              130
ipsaque me species quondam dilecta reliquit
     et uideor formae mortuus esse meae.
pro niueo rutiloque prius nunc inficit ora
     pallor et exanguis funereusque color.
aret sicca cutis, rigidi stant undique nerui,              135

I do not trouble the forums, I do not fashion blandishing poems,
     nor do I pursue accommodating rights for rabid litigations.              130
and my very appearance, once beloved, has left me,
     and I seem to have died to my own form.
in place of the snowy and ruddy formerly, now there stains my face
     pallor, a bloodless and funereal color.
the dry skin parches, rigid nerves stand everywhere,              135

     et lacerant uncae scabida membra manus.
quondam ridentes oculi nunc fonte perenni
     deplangunt poenas nocte dieque suas;
et quos grata prius ciliorum serta tegebant,
     desuper incumbens hispida silua premit,              140
ac uelut inclusi caeco conduntur in antro:
     toruum nescio quid heu furiale uident.
iam pauor est uidisse senem, nec creder possis
     hunc hominem humana qui ratione caret.

     and hooked hands lacerate the scabrous limbs.
once-laughing eyes now with a perennial fount
     lament their penalties by night and by day;
and those which pleasing garlands of eyelashes once covered,
     an overhanging hispid forest presses from above,              140
and as if shut in, they are buried in a blind cavern:
     they behold—alas! I know not what—grim, furial things.
now it is a terror to have seen the old man, nor could you believe
     this to be a man, who lacks human reason.

si libros repeto, duplex se littera findit,              145
     largior occurrit pagina nota mihi.
claram per nebulas uideor mihi cernere lucem,
     nubila sunt oculis ipsa serena meis.
eripitur sine morte dies: caligine caeca
     septum tartareo quis neget esse loco?              150

if I return to my books, the letter splits itself in two,              145
     a more ample page, familiar to me, meets me.
I seem to myself to discern bright light through mists,
     to my eyes even the serene are clouds.
day is snatched away without death: in blind gloom
     who would deny that one enclosed is in a Tartarean place?              150

talia quis demens homini persuaserit auctor
     ut cupiat uoto turpior esse suo?
iam subeunt morbi, subeunt discrimina mille,
     iam dulces epulae deliciaeque nocent.
cogimur a gratis animum suspendere rebus,              155
     atque ut uiuamus uiuere destitimus.

who would persuade a man to such things, what demented author,
     that he should desire, by his own vow, to be more disgraceful than himself?
now diseases come upon us, a thousand hazards come upon us,
     now sweet banquets and delights harm.
we are compelled to suspend our mind from welcome things,              155
     and that we may live, we cease to live.

et me, quem dudum iam nulla aduersa nocebant,
     ipsa quibus regimur nunc alimenta grauant.
esse libet saturum: saturum mox esse pigebit;
     praestat ut abstineam: abstinuisse nocet.              160
quae modo profuerat, contraria redditur esca:
     fastidita iacet, quae modo dulcis erat.
non Veneris, non grata mihi sunt munera Bacchi,
     nec quicquid uitae fallere damna solet.

and even me, whom for a long time now no adverse things were hurting,
     the very nourishments by which we are sustained now weigh me down.
to be sated it pleases me: soon to be sated will be irksome;
     it is better that I abstain: having abstained harms.              160
the food which just now had profited is rendered contrary:
     it lies disdained, which just now was sweet.
not the gifts of Venus, not the welcome gifts of Bacchus are pleasing to me,
     nor whatever is wont to beguile the losses of life.

sola iacens natura manet, quae sponte per horas 165

nature alone, lying, remains, which of its own accord through the hours 165

     soluitur et uitio carpitur ipsa suo.
non totiens experta mihi medicamina prosunt,
     non aegris quicquid ferre solebat opem.
sed cum materia pereunt quaecumque parantur,
     fit magis et damnis tristior urna suis.              170
non secus instantem cupiens fulcire ruinam
     diuersis contra nititur obicibus,
donec longa dies omni compage soluta
     ipsum cum rebus subruat auxilium.

     it is dissolved and is gnawed by its own fault.
the medicaments so often tried do not avail me,
     nor whatever used to bring aid to the sick.
but when the matter perishes, whatever things are prepared perish,
     the urn grows more, and sadder, by its own losses.              170
no otherwise, wishing to prop an impending ruin,
     it strives against with diverse props,
until long time, every joint loosened,
     undermines the help itself along with the things.

quid quod nulla leuant animum spectacula rerum,              175
     nec mala tot uitae dissimulare licet?
turpe seni uultus nitidi uestesque decorae,
     quis sine iamque ipsum uiuere turpe seni.
crimen amare iocos, crimen conuiuia, cantus:
     o miseri, quorum gaudia crimen habent.              180

what of the fact that no spectacles of things lighten the spirit,              175
     nor is it permitted to dissimulate so many ills of life?
shameful for an old man are sleek looks and comely garments,
     without which even for the old man himself to live is now shameful.
a crime to love jests, a crime to love banquets, songs:
     O wretched men, whose joys have the name of crime.              180

quid mihi diuitiae, quarum si dempseris usum,
     quamuis largus opum, semper egenus ero?
immo etiam poena est partis incumbere rebus,
     quas cum possideas est uiolare nefas.
non aliter sitiens uicinas Tantalus undas              185
     captat et appositis abstinet ora cibis.

what are riches to me, from which, if you take away the use,
     although abundant in wealth, I shall always be needy? Nay rather, it is even a penalty to brood over acquired things,
     which, though you possess them, it is a sacrilege to violate.
not otherwise does Tantalus, thirsty, snatch at the neighboring waves              185
     and restrain his lips from the dishes set before him.

efficior custos rerum magis ipse mearum
     conseruans aliis, quae periere mihi;
sicut in auricomis dependens plurimus hortis
     peruigil obseruat non sua pomo draco.              190
hinc me sollicitum torquent super omnia curae,
     hinc requies animo non datur ulla meo.
quaerere quae nequeo, semper retinere laboro,
     et retinens semper nil tenuisse puto.
stat dubius tremulusque senex semperque malorum              195

I become more myself the guardian of my own things,
     conserving for others the things which have perished for me;
just as in the golden-haired gardens the very great dragon, hanging down,
     ever-vigilant, observes a fruit not his own.              190
from this cares torment me, solicitous above all,
     from this no repose is given to my mind.
to seek what I cannot, I ever labor to retain,
     and while retaining I always think I have held nothing.
the old man stands dubious and tremulous, and always in fear of evils              195

     credulus, et stultus quae facit ipse timet,
laudat praeteritos, praesentes despicit annos,
     hoc tantum rectum, quod sapit ipse, putat.
se solum doctum, se iudicat esse peritum
     et quod sit sapiens desipit inde magis.              200
multa licet nolis referens eademque reuoluens
     horret et alloquium conspuit ipse suum.
deficit auditor, non deficit ipse loquendo.

     credulous, and foolish, he fears the things which he himself does,
he praises bygone years, he despises the present years,
     he thinks only this right: what he himself understands.
he judges himself alone learned, he judges himself to be skilled
     and from the fact that he is wise he is all the more foolish.              200
telling many things, though you be unwilling, and revolving the same things,
     he shudders and even spits upon his own talk.
the listener fails, he himself does not fail in speaking.

     o sola fortes garrulitate senes!
omnia nequicquam clamosis uocibus implet:              205
     nil satis est: horret, quae placuere modo.
arridet de se ridentibus, ac sibi plaudens
     incipit opprobrio laetior esse suo.

     O old men strong solely in garrulity!
he fills everything in vain with clamorous voices:              205
     nothing is enough: he shudders at the things which just now pleased.
he smiles at those laughing at him, and, applauding himself,
     he begins to be happier at his own opprobrium.

hae sunt primitiae mortis, his partibus aetas
defluit et pigris gressibus ima petit. 210

these are the first-fruits of death; in these parts age
flows down and with sluggish steps seeks the depths. 210

non habitus, non ipse color, non gressus euntis,
non species eadem quae fuit ante manet.
labitur ex umeris demisso corpore uestis.
quaeque breuis fuerat iam modo longa mihi est.

not the bearing, not the very color, not the gait in walking,
not the same appearance which was before remains.
the garment slips from the shoulders, with the body drooping.
and what had been short just now is long for me.

contrahimur miroque modo decrescimus: ipsa              215
     diminui nostri corporis ossa putes.
nec caelum spectare licet, sed prona senectus
     terram, qua genita est et reditura, uidet
fitque tripes, prorsus quadrupes, ut paruulus infans,
     et per sordentem (flebile) repit humum.              220
ortus cuncta suos repetunt matremque requirunt,
     et redit ad nihilum, quod fuit ante nihil.
hinc est quod baculo incumbens ruitura senectus
     assiduo pigram uerbere pulsat humum
et numerosa mouens certo uestigia plausu              225

we are contracted and in a wondrous way we diminish: you would think that the very bones of our body              215
     are being diminished. Nor is it permitted to look upon the sky, but stooping old age
     looks at the earth, where it was born and to which it will return;
and it becomes three‑footed, outright four‑footed, like a tiny infant,
     and (lamentably) it creeps through the befouled ground.              220
all things return to their origins and seek their mother,
     and that which before was nothing returns to nothing.
hence it is that old age, about to collapse, leaning on a staff,
     with incessant stroke beats the sluggish ground,
and, moving its footsteps with a fixed, measured applause,              225

     talia rugato creditur ore loqui:
‘suscipe me, genetrix, nati miserere laborum:
     membra peto gremio fessa fouere tuo.
horrent me pueri, nequeo uelut ante uideri:
     horrendos partus cur sinis esse tuos?              230
nil mihi cum superis: expleui munera uitae:
     redde precor patrio mortua membra solo.
quid miseros uariis prodest extendere poenis?

     he is believed to speak such things with a wrinkled mouth:
‘sustain me, Genetrix, have pity on your son’s labors:
     I seek that you warm my weary limbs in your lap.
boys shudder at me, I cannot appear as before:
     why do you allow your horrendous offspring to be yours?              230
I have nothing to do with the supernal gods: I have fulfilled the offices of life:
     restore, I pray, my dead limbs to the paternal soil.
what does it profit to extend the wretched with various punishments?

     non est materni pectoris ista pati.’
his dictis trunco titubantes sustinet artus,              235
     neglecti repetens stramina dura tori.
quo postquam iacuit, misero quid funere differt?
     heu tantum adtracti corporis ossa uides.

     it is not for a maternal heart to endure this.’
with these words he supports his tottering limbs with a trunk,              235
     returning to the hard straw of the neglected bed.
once he lay there, how does he differ from a wretched funeral?
     alas, you see only the bones of a body worn away.

cumque magis semper iaceam uiuamque iacendo,
quis sub uitali computet esse loco? 240

and since I ever more lie and live by lying down,
who would compute me to be in the place of the living? 240

iam poena est totum quod uiuimus: urimur aestu,
     officiunt nebulae, frigus et aura nocet,
ros laedit modicoque etiam corrumpimur imbre,
     ueris et autumni laedit amoena dies.
hinc miseros scabies, hinc tussis anhela fatigat:              245
     continuos gemitus aegra senectus habet.
hos superesse reor, quibus et spirabilis aer
     et lux, qua regimur, redditur ipsa grauis?

already all that we live is punishment: we are burned by heat,
     mists obstruct, and cold and a breeze harms,
dew injures and we are even corrupted by a modicum of rain,
     and the pleasant day of spring and of autumn harms.
from this the scab afflicts us wretches, from this a panting cough wearies:              245
     sickly old age has continuous groans.
do I think these survive, for whom even the breathable air
     and the light, by which we are governed, is itself rendered heavy?

ipsa etiam cunctis requies gratissima, somnus
     auolat et sera uix mihi nocte redit,              250
uel si lassatos umquam dignabitur artus,
     turbidus in quantis horret imaginibus!
mollia fulcra tori duris sunt cautibus aequa,
     parua licet magnum pallia pondus habent.
cogor per mediam turbatus surgere noctem              255

even repose itself, most pleasing to all—sleep—
     flies away and with late night scarcely returns to me,              250
or if it should ever deign to my wearied limbs,
     turbid, how it shudders at so many images!
the soft supports of the bed are equal to hard crags,
     though small, the coverlets have a great weight.
I am compelled, disturbed, to rise in the middle of the night              255

     multaque, ne patiar deteriora, pati.
uincimur infirmi defectu corporis, et qua
     noluero, infelix hac ego parte trahor.
omnia naturae soluuntur uiscera nostrae,
     et tam praeclarum quam male nutat opus!              260
his ueniens onerata malis incurua senectus
     cedere ponderibus se docet ipsa suis.

     and to suffer many things, lest I suffer worse.
We, infirm, are vanquished by the defect of the body, and where
     I do not wish, unhappy, in this respect I am dragged.
all the vitals of our nature are dissolved,
     and so splendid a work totters badly!              260
upon these things coming, bent old age laden with evils
     teaches itself to yield to its own weights.

ergo quis cupiat per longum ducere poenas
     paulatimque anima deficiente mori?
morte mori melius, quam uitam ducere mortis              265
     et sensus membris hic sepelire suis.
non queror heu longi quod totum soluitis anni:
     improba naturae dicere iussa nefas.

therefore who would desire to draw out punishments through a long time
     and little by little to die as the soul fails?
to die by death is better than to lead a life of death              265
     and here to bury one’s senses in one’s own limbs.
I do not complain, alas, that you have unloosed the whole of a long year:
     to call the commands of nature wicked is nefarious.

deficiunt ualidi longaeuo tempore tauri,
et quondam pulcer fit modo turpis equus. 270

the strong bulls fail with long-lived time,
and the horse once handsome now becomes ugly. 270

fracta diu rabidi conpescitur ira leonis
     lentaque per senium aspera tigris erit.
ipsa etiam ueniens consumit saxa uetustas,
     et nullum est quod non tempore cedat opus.
set mihi uenturos melius praeuertere casus              275
     atque infelices anticipare dies.

the rage of the rabid lion, once broken, is long restrained
     and the harsh tiger will be sluggish through senility.
even as it comes on, age itself consumes rocks,
     and there is no work that does not yield to time.
but for me it is better to forestall the coming misfortunes              275
     and to anticipate the unlucky days.

poena minor certam subito perferre ruinam,
     quod timeas grauius sustinuisse diu.
at quos fert alios quis posset dicere casus?
     hoc quoque difficile est commemorasse seni.              280
iurgia, contemptus uiolentaque damna secuntur
     nec quisquam ex tantis praebet amicus opem.

the penalty is smaller to suffer a certain ruin suddenly,
     than to have sustained for a long time what you fear more gravely.
But who could tell what other accidents it brings?
     this too is difficult for an old man to have commemorated.              280
quarrels, contempt, and violent damages follow
     nor does any friend proffer help from amid such great things.

ipsi me pueri atque ipsae sine lite puellae
turpe putant dominum iam uocitare suum.
irrident gressum, irrident iam denique uultum 285

the boys themselves and the girls themselves, without quarrel,
think it shameful now to call me their master.
they deride my gait, they deride now, at last, my countenance 285

     et tremulum, quondam quod timuere, caput.
cumque nihil uideam, tamen hoc spectare licebit
     ut grauior misero poena sit ista mihi.
felix qui meruit tranquillam ducere uitam
     et laeto stabiles claudere fine dies.              290
dura satis miseris memoratio prisca bonorum,
     et grauius summo culmine mersa ruit.

     and my tremulous head, which once they feared.
and although I see nothing, yet it will be permitted to behold this
     so that that punishment may be the graver to me, the wretched man.
happy he who has merited to lead a tranquil life
     and to close his stable days with a glad end.              290
hard enough for the wretched is the remembrance of former goods,
     and, plunged from the highest summit, it falls more heavily.

II.

En dilecta mihi nimium formosa Lycoris,
     cum qua mens eadem, res fuit una mihi,
post multos quibus indiuisi uiximus annos
     respuit amplexus heu pauefacta meos,
iamque alios iuuenes aliosque requirit amores;              5
     me uocat imbellem decrepitumque senem,
nec meminisse uolet transactae dulcia uitae
     nec me quod potius reddidit ipsa senem.
immo etiam causas ingrata ac perfida fingit,
     ut spretum uitio iudicet esse meo.              10
haec me praeteriens cum dudum forte uideret,
     expuit obductis uestibus ora tegens.
‘hunc’ inquit ‘dilexi?

Lo, Lycoris, beloved by me, too exceedingly beautiful,
     with whom my mind was the same, my affair was one,
after many years during which we lived undivided
     she rejects my embraces, alas, panic‑stricken;
and now she seeks other young men and other loves,              5
     she calls me an unwarlike and decrepit old man,
nor will she wish to remember the sweet things of the life gone by,
     nor me, whom she herself has rather made old.
Nay rather, ungrateful and perfidious, she even invents causes,
     so that she may judge that I was spurned by my own fault.              10
When not long ago, as she was passing by, she chanced to see me,
     she spat, covering her face with her garments drawn over.
‘This man,’ she says, ‘did I love?’

hic me complexus amauit?
huic ego saepe (nefas) oscula blanda dedi?’
nauseat et priscum uomitu ceu fundit amorem, 15

Did this one, who embraced me, love me?
To this one did I often (nefarious) give coaxing kisses?’
she nauseates and, as if by vomiting, pours out her pristine love, 15

inponit capiti plurima dira meo.
en, quid longa dies nunc affert! ut sibi quemquam
quondam dilectum prodere turpe putet.

she imposes very many dire imprecations upon my head.
lo, what long time now brings! that she should think it shameful for herself to acknowledge
anyone once beloved.

nonne fuit melius tali me tempore fungi,
     quo nulli merito despiciendus eram,              20
quam, postquam periit quicquid fuit ante decoris,
     extinctum meritis uiuere criminibus?
iam nihil est totum quod uiximus: omnia secum
     tempus praeteriens horaque summa trahit.
atque tamen–niuei circumdant tempora cani              25
     et iam caeruleis infecit hora notis–
praestat adhuc nimiumque sibi pretiosa uidetur
     atque annos mecum despicit illa suos.

was it not better for me to pass away at such a time,
     when by any right I was to be despised by no one,              20
than, after whatever of grace that once was has perished,
     to live, my repute extinguished by merited crimes?
now nothing is whole of what we have lived: everything with it
     time as it passes, and the supreme hour, drag along.
and yet—snowy white hairs surround my temples,25
     and already time has dyed them with bluish marks—
she still excels, and seems far too precious to herself,
     and she, along with me, despises her own years.

et, fateor, primae retinet monimenta figurae
atque inter cineres condita flamma manet. 30

and, I confess, she retains the monuments of the first figure
and, among the ashes, the buried flame remains. 30

ut uideo, pulcris etiam uos parcitis, anni,
     nec ueteris formae gratia tota perit.
reliquiis ueterum iuuenes pascuntur amorum,
     set si quid nunc est, quod fuit ante, placet.
ante oculos statuunt primaeui temporis actus              35
     atque in praeteritum luxuriantur opus.

as I see, years, you even spare the beautiful,
     nor does the grace of the old form wholly perish.
on the relics of ancient loves the youths feed,
     but if there is anything now that was before, it pleases.
they set before their eyes the acts of the prime time              35
     and luxuriate in the work gone by.

et quia nos totus membrorum deserit usus
     nullius amplexus quod memoretur habet,
set solus miseris superest post omnia luctus:
     quot bona tunc habui, tot modo damna fleo.              40
omnia nemo pati, non omnes omnia possunt
     efficere: hoc uincit femina uicta uiro.
ergo uelut pecudum praesentia sola manebunt,
     nil de transactis, quod memoretur, erit?
cum fugiunt et bruta nouos animalia campos              45

and because the whole use of my limbs deserts me
     there is no embrace that could be remembered,
but grief alone remains to the wretched after everything:
     as many good things I then had, so many losses I now weep.              40
no one can suffer everything, not all can effect everything
     to effect: in this a woman conquered by a man conquers.
therefore, as with herd-beasts, will mere presence alone remain,
     will there be nothing from things past that could be remembered?
when even brute animals flee to new fields              45

     ac repetunt celeres pascua nota greges,
sub qua decubuit requiescere diligit umbram
     taurus et amissum quaerit ouile pecus,
dulcius in solitis cantat philomela rubetis
     fitque suum rabidis dulce cubile feris.              50
tu tantum bene nota tibi atque experta relinquis,
     hospitia et potius non manifesta petis.
nonne placet melius certis confidere rebus?
     euentus uarios res noua semper habet.

     and the swift flocks return to the familiar pastures,
under whose shade, having lain down, the bull loves to rest,
     and the herd seeks the lost sheepfold;
the nightingale sings more sweetly in the accustomed brambles,
     and their own lair becomes sweet to rabid beasts.              50
you alone leave behind things well-known to you and experienced,
     and rather you seek lodgings not manifest.
does it not please you better to confide in certain things?
     a new thing always has various outcomes.

sum grandaeuus ego, nec tu minus alba capillis:              55
     par aetas animos conciliare solet.
si modo non possum, quondam potuisse memento:
     sit satis ut placeam me placuisse prius.
permanet inualidis reuerentis prisca colonis,
     quod fuit in uetulo milite, miles amat,              60

I am advanced in years, nor are you less white in hair:              55
     kindred age is wont to conciliate spirits.
if now I cannot, remember that once I could:
     let it be enough that I please, that I have pleased before.
the ancient reverence remains for infirm husbandmen,
     what was in the old soldier, the soldier loves,              60

rusticus expertum deflet cessisse iuuencum,
     cum quo consenuit uictor honorat equum.
non me adeo primis spoliauit floribus aetas:
     en uersus facio et media dicta cano.
sit grauitas sitque ipsa tibi ueneranda senectus,              65
     sit quod te nosti uiuere uelle diu.

the rustic laments that the proven young bull has yielded,
     with whom he has grown old, the victor honors the horse.
age has not to such a degree despoiled me of my first flowers:
     lo, I make verses and I sing words in my middle years.
let there be gravity, and let old age itself be venerable to you,              65
     let it be that you know yourself to wish to live long.

quis suam in alterius condemnet crimine uitam
     et quod pertendit claudere certet iter?
dicere si fratrem seu dedignaris amicum,
     dic patrem: affectum nomen utrumque tenet.              70
uincat honor luxum, pietas succedat amori:
     plus ratio quam uis caeca ualere solet.
his lacrimis longos, quantum fas, fleuimus annos:
     est graue, quod doleat, commemorare diu.

Who would condemn his own life on another’s crime,
     and strive to close the road which he intends to pursue?
If you disdain to call me brother or friend,
     call me father: either name holds the affection.              70
Let honor conquer luxury, let piety succeed to love:
     reason is wont to prevail more than blind force.
With these tears we have wept long years, so far as it is right:
     it is grievous to commemorate for long that which gives pain.

III.

Nunc operae pretium est quaedam memorare iuuentae
     atque senectutis pauca referre meae,
quis lector mentem rerum uertigine fractam
     erigat et maestum noscere curet opus.
captus amore tuo demens, Aquilina, ferebar,              5
     pallidus et tristis captus amore tuo.
nondum quid sit amor uel quid Venus ignea noram:
     torquebar potius rusticitate mea.

Now it is worth the effort to commemorate certain things of my youth
     and to relate a few of my old age,
that some reader may raise up a mind shattered by the vertigo of things
     and take care to know the mournful work.
captured by your love, demented, Aquilina, I was borne along,              5
     pale and sad, captured by your love.
not yet had I known what love is or what fiery Venus is:
     I was rather tormented by my rusticity.

nec minus illa meo percussa cupidine flagrans
     errabat toto non capienda domo.              10
carmina, pensa procul nimium dilecta iacebant:
     solus amor cordi curaque semper erat.
nec reperire uiam, qua caecum pasceret ignem,
     docta nec alternis reddere uerba notis,
tantum in conspectu studium praestabat inane,              15

nor less was she, smitten by my desire, blazing,
     was wandering, not to be contained, through the whole house.              10
songs and tasks, too much beloved, lay afar:
     only love was dear to the heart and was always the care.
nor could she find a way by which she might feed the blind fire,
     nor, though skilled, to return words by alternate notes,
only in sight she displayed an empty zeal,              15

     anxia uel solo lumine corda fouens.
me pedagogus agit, illam tristissima mater
     seruabat, tanti poena secunda mali.
pensabant oculos nutusque per omnia nostros
     quaeque solet mentis ducere signa color.              20
dum licuit, uotum tacite compressimus ambo
     et uaria dulces teximus arte dolos.

     anxious, warming hearts even with light alone.
my tutor drives me, her a most sorrowful mother
     was guarding, a second penalty of so great an evil.
they were weighing our eyes and nods in all things
     and the color which is wont to draw out the signs of the mind.              20
while it was permitted, we both silently repressed the vow
     and with varied art we wove sweet deceits.

at postquam teneram rupit uerecundia frontem
     nec ualuit penitus flamma recepta tegi,
mox captare locos et tempora coepimus ambo              25
     atque superciliis luminibusque loqui,
fallere sollicitos, suspensos ponere gressus
     et tota nullo currere nocte sono.
nec longum: genetrix furtiuum sensit amorem
     et medicare parans uulnera uulneribus              30

but after bashfulness broke the tender brow
     and the flame received within could not be wholly covered,
soon we both began to seize upon places and times              25
     and to speak with eyebrows and with eyes,
to deceive the watchful, to set down our suspended steps
     and to run through the whole night with no sound.
nor for long: the genitrix sensed the furtive love
     and, preparing to medicate wounds with wounds,              30

increpitat caeditque: fouentur caedibus ignes,
     ut solet adiecto crescere flamma rogo.
concipiunt geminum flagrantia corda furorem
     et sic permixto saeuit amore dolor.
tunc me uisceribus per totum quaerit anhelis,              35
     emptum suppliciis quem putat esse suis,
nec memorare pudet turpesque reuoluere uestes:
     immo etiam gaudens imputat illa mihi.

she rebukes and beats: the fires are fostered by beatings,
     as a flame is wont to grow when fuel is added to the pyre.
the blazing hearts conceive a twin frenzy,
     and thus with love mingled pain rages.
then with panting vitals she searches me through and through,              35
     whom she thinks to have been purchased by her punishments,
nor is she ashamed to recount and to roll back shameful garments:
     nay rather, rejoicing she even imputes those things to me.

‘pro te susceptos iuuat’ inquit ‘ferre dolores:
     tu pretium tanti dulce cruoris eris.              40
sit modo certa fides atque inconcussa uoluntas:
     quae nihil imminuit passio, nulla fuit.’
his egomet stimulis angebar semper et ardens
     languebam, nec spes ulla salutis erat.
prodere non ausus carpebar uulnere muto,              45

‘"it is a joy for me," she says, "to bear the pains undertaken for you:
     you will be the sweet price of so great bloodshed."              40
only let there be sure faith and an unshaken will:
     a passion that lessened nothing was no passion."’
by these goads I myself was always tormented, and, burning,
     I was languishing, nor was there any hope of deliverance.
not daring to betray it, I was being consumed by a mute wound,              45

     set stupor et macies uocis habebat opus.
hic mihi magnarum scrutator maxime rerum,
     solus, Boëti, fers miseratus opem.
nam cum me curis intentum saepe uideres
     nec posses causas noscere tristitiae,              50
tandem prospiciens tali me peste teneri
     mitibus alloquiis pandere clausa iubes:
‘dicito, et unde nouo correptus carperis aestu?

     but stupor and wasting had need of a voice.
here to me, greatest scrutinizer of great matters,
     alone, Boethius, having pitied me, you bring aid.
for when you often saw me intent with cares
     and could not come to know the causes of sadness,              50
at last, perceiving me to be held by such a plague,
     you bid me, with gentle allocutions, to open what is closed:
‘say, and whence, seized by a new surge, are you being consumed?’

     dicito, et edicti sume doloris opem.
non intellecti nulla est curatio morbi,              55
     et magis inclusis ignibus antra fremunt.’
dum pudor est tam foeda loqui uitiumque fateri,
     agnouit taciti conscia signa mali.
mox ait: ‘occultae satis est res prodita causae.

     speak, and take the aid of grief once declared.
there is no cure for a not-understood malady,              55
     and caverns roar the more with fires enclosed.’
while there is shame to speak such foulness and to confess the fault,
     she, conscious, recognized the signs of the silent ill.
soon she said: ‘it is enough that the matter of the hidden cause has been brought to light.

pone metum: ueniam uis tibi tanta dabit.’ 60

set down fear: so great a force will grant you pardon. 60

prostratus pedibus uerecunda silentia rupi
     cum lacrimis referens ordine cuncta suo.
‘fare’ ait ‘an placitae potiaris munere formae.’
     respondi ‘pietas talia uelle fugit.’
soluitur in risum exclamans ‘pro mira uoluntas!              65
     castus amor Veneris dicito quando fuit?
parcere dilectae iuuenis desiste puellae:
     impius hic fueris, si pius esse uelis.

prostrate at the feet I broke bashful silences
     with tears, recounting everything in its proper order.
‘speak,’ she said, ‘whether you may obtain the gift of the pleasing Beauty.’
     I replied, ‘piety flees from wishing such things.’
she dissolved into laughter, exclaiming, ‘ah, wondrous will!              65
     tell, when has love of Venus ever been chaste?
cease, young man, to spare your beloved girl:
     you will be impious here, if you wish to be pious.’

unguibus et morsu teneres pascuntur amores,
     uulnera non refugit res magis apta plagae.’              70
interea donis permulcet corda parentum
     et pretio faciles in mea uota trahit.
auri caecus amor natiuum uincit amorem:
     coeperunt natae crimen amare suae.
dant uitiis furtisque locum, dant iungere dextras              75

with nails and with biting the tender loves are nourished,
     what is more apt for the stroke does not refuse wounds.’              70
meanwhile she soothes the hearts of the parents with gifts
     and with a price she draws the compliant ones into my vows.
the blind love of gold conquers native love:
     they began to love the crime of their own daughter.
they give place to vices and thefts, they grant the joining of right hands              75

     et totum ludo concelebrare diem.
permissum fit uile nefas, fit languidus ardor:
     uicerunt morbum languida corda suum.
illa nihil quaesita uidens procedere, causam
     odit et illaeso corpore tristis abit.              80
proieci uanas sanato pectore curas
     et subito didici quam miser ante fui.

     and to celebrate the whole day with play.
the permitted impiety becomes cheap, the ardor becomes languid:
     the languid hearts conquered their own sickness.
she, seeing that nothing sought proceeds, the cause
     she hates, and she goes away sad with her body unharmed.              80
I cast away vain cares with my breast healed
     and suddenly I learned how wretched I was before.

‘salue sancta’ inquam ‘semperque intacta maneto
     uirginitas: per me plena pudoris eris.’
quae postquam perlata uiro sunt omnia tanto              85
     meque uidet fluctus exuperasse meos,
‘macte’ inquit ‘iuuenis, proprii dominator amoris,
     et de contemptu sume trophaea tuo.
arma tibi Veneris cedantque Cupidinis arcus,
     cedat et armipotens ipsa Minerua tibi.’              90

‘hail, holy,’ I say, ‘and remain ever untouched,
     virginity: through me you will be full of modesty.’
and after all these things were carried to so great a man,              85
     and he sees that I have overcome my waves,
‘well done,’ he says, ‘young man, master of your own love,
     and from your contempt take trophies.
let the arms of Venus and the bows of Cupid yield to you,
     and let Minerva herself, mighty in arms, yield to you.’              90

sic mihi peccandi studium permissa potestas
abstulit atque ipsum talia uelle fugit.
ingrati tristes pariter discedimus ambo:
discidii ratio tota pudica fuit.

thus the permitted power took from me the zeal for sinning,
and even the very will to want such things fled.
ungrateful, sad alike, we both departed:
the whole reason for the parting was chaste.

IV.

Restat adhuc alios turpesque reuoluere casus
     atque aliquo molli pascere corda ioco.
conueniunt etenim delirae ignaua senectae,
     aptaque sunt operi carmina uana meo.
sic uicibus uariis alterni fallimur anni
     et mutata magis tempora grata mihi.              5
uirgo fuit, species dederat cui candida nomen
     Candida; diuersis nam bene compta comis.

it still remains to revolve other and shameful chances
     and to pasture the heart with some soft jest.
for indeed they suit a delirious, idle senectitude,
     and vain songs are apt for my work.
thus by various vicissitudes the alternating years beguile us
     and times, once changed, are the more pleasing to me.              5
there was a maiden, whose candid aspect had given her the name
     Candida; for she was well-compt with diverse tresses.

huic ego per totum uidi pendentia corpus
     cymbala multiplices edere pulsa sonos.              10
nunc niueis digitis, nunc pulsans pectine cordas
     arguto quicquam murmure dulce loqui,
sic me diuersis tractum de partibus una
     carpebat uariis pulcra puella modis.
hanc ego saltantem subito correptus amaui              15

for her I saw cymbals, hanging over the whole body,
     give forth multiple sounds when struck.              10
now with snowy fingers, now striking the strings with a plectrum,
     to speak something sweet with a clear murmur,
thus me, drawn from different sides, one
     fair girl was plucking in various modes.
this one dancing, suddenly seized, I loved.              15

     et coepi tacitus uulnera grata pati.
singula uisa semel semper memorare libebat
     haerebant animo nocte dieque meo.
saepe uelut uisae laetabar imagine formae,
     et procul absenti uoce manuque fui.              20
saepe, uelut praesens fuerit, mecum ipse loquebar,
     captabam dulces quos solet illa modos.

     and I began tacitly to suffer welcome wounds.
it was my pleasure to always remember each single thing once seen
     they adhered to my mind night and day.
often I rejoiced, as if at the image of her seen form,
     and, far off, with voice and hand I was to the absent one.              20
often, as if she were present, I would speak with myself,
     I would catch at the sweet modes which she is wont to use.

o quotiens demens, quotiens sine mente putabar,
     nec, puto, fallebar: non bene sanus eram.
atque aliquis, cui caeca foret bene nota uoluptas:              25
     ‘cantat, cantantem Maximianus amat.’
certe difficile est abscondere pectoris aestus,
     panditur et clauso saepius ore furor.
nam subito inficiens uultum pallorque ruborque
     internum clausae uocis habebat opus.              30

o how often demented, how often I was thought without mind,
     nor, I think, was I deceived: I was not quite sane.
and someone, to whom blind pleasure would be well known:              25
     ‘she sings; Maximianus loves the one singing.’
surely it is difficult to abscond the ardors of the breast,
     and, with the mouth closed, frenzy is more often laid bare.
for suddenly both pallor and redness, staining the face,
     had the inner work of a voice shut in.              30

nec minus ipsa meas prodebat somnia curas,
     somnia secreto non bene fida meo.
nam cum sopitos premerent obliuia sensus,
     confessa est facinus nescia lingua suum.
‘Candida,’ clamabam ‘propera: cur, Candida, tardas?              35
     nox abit et furtis lux inimica redit.’
proximus ut genitor mecum comitatus amatae
     uirginis herbosa forte iacebat humo,
illius ad nomen turbatos excutit artus
     exilit et natam credit adesse suam.              40
omnia collustrans toto me pectore somnum
     prospicit afflantem nec meminisse mei.

nor did my dreams themselves disclose my cares any less,
     dreams not well faithful to my secret.
for when oblivion was pressing my lulled senses,
     my unknowing tongue confessed its own crime.
'Candida,' I was shouting, 'hasten: why, Candida, do you delay?              35
     night departs, and light inimical to thefts returns.'
and near me the father, who had accompanied my beloved
     virgin, happened to be lying on the grassy ground,
at her name he shakes his troubled limbs awake,
     he leaps up and believes his daughter to be present.              40
scanning everything, he perceives me with my whole breast breathing
     sleep, and not remembering myself.

‘uana putas an uera sopor ludibria iactat?
hoc et uerus’ ait ‘pectoris ardor agit.
credo equidem assuetas animo remeare figuras, 45

‘Do you think vain, or does sleep hurl true mockeries?
this too,’ he says, ‘the true ardor of the breast drives.
I indeed believe the accustomed figures to return to the mind, 45

     et fallax studium ludit imago suum.’
stat tamen attonitus perplexaque murmura captat
     et tacitis precibus dicere plura rogat.
sic ego, qui cunctis sanctae grauitatis habebar,
     proditus et uitio sum miser ipse meo,              50
et nunc infelix tota est sine crimine uita
     et peccare senem non potuisse pudet.
deserimur uitiis, fugit indignata uoluptas,
     nec quod non possum, non uoluisse meum est.

     and the deceitful image plays with its own zeal.’
nevertheless he stands thunderstruck and catches perplexed murmurs
     and with silent prayers asks to say more.
thus I, who by all was held of holy gravity,
     betrayed, am myself wretched by my own vice,              50
and now, unhappy, my whole life is without crime
     and it shames me that, as an old man, I could not sin.
we are deserted by vices, pleasure, indignant, flees,
     nor is it my choice not to have willed what I cannot.

hoc etiam meminisse licet, quod serior aetas              55
     intulit–et gemitus, quos mihi laeta dedit.
set quis has possit naturae adtingere partes,
     clarus et ut sapiens noxia saepe uelit?
interdum rapimur uitiis trahimurque uolentes,
     et quod non capiunt pectore bruta uolunt.

this also it is permitted to remember, which later age              55
     brought in—and the groans which the joyful one gave to me.
but who could touch these parts of Nature,
     though renowned and, as a wise man, would often will noxious things?
at times we are seized by vices and are dragged along willing,
     and the brutes want what they do not grasp in their breast.

Missus ad eoas legati munere partes
     tranquillum cunctis nectere pacis opus,
dum studeo gemini componere foedera regni,
     inuueni cordis bella nefanda mei.
hic me suscipiens Etruscae gentis alumnum              5
     inuoluit patriis Graia puella dolis.
nam cum se nostro captam simularet amore,
     me potius uero fecit amore capi.

Sent to the eastern parts in the office of a legate
     to weave for all the tranquil work of peace,
while I strive to compose the treaties of the twin realm,
     I found the unspeakable wars of my own heart.
here, receiving me, a fosterling of the Etruscan nation,              5
     a Greek girl enwrapped me in her ancestral wiles.
for when she pretended that she was captured by my love,
     she rather in truth made me be captured by love.

peruigil ad nostras astabat nocte fenestras
     nescio quid Graeco murmure dulce canens.              10
nunc aderant lacrimae, gemitus, suspiria, pallor
     et quicquid nullum fingere posse putes.
sic uelut afflictam nimium miseratus amantem
     efficior potius tunc miserandus ego.
haec erat egregiae formae uultusque modesti,              15

ever-watchful she stood by our windows at night
     singing I know not what, sweet in a Greek murmur.              10
now there were tears, groans, sighs, pallor
     and whatever you would think no one could feign.
thus, as though too much pitying a stricken lover,
     I am made rather then myself to be pitied.
such was the beauty of her distinguished form and modest countenance,              15

     grata micans oculis nec minus arte placens,
docta loqui digitis et carmina fingere docta
     et responsuram sollicitare lyram.
illam Sirenis stupefactus cantibus aequans
     efficior demens alter Vlixes ego,              20
et qui non poteram tantas euadere moles
     nescius in scopulos et uada caeca feror.
quis referat gressus certa sub lege mouentes
     suspensosque nouis plausibus ire pedes?

     pleasing, shimmering to the eyes and no less pleasing by art,
taught to speak with her fingers and taught to fashion songs
     and to coax a lyre to make answer.
dumbstruck, equating her with the songs of the Siren,
     I am made a mad second Ulysses myself,              20
and I, who could not escape such great masses,
     unknowing am borne onto rocks and blind shallows.
who could recount steps moving under a fixed law,
     and feet, held poised, to go to new clappings?

grande erat inflexos gradibus numerare capillos,              25
     grande erat in niueo pulla colore coma.
urebant oculos stantes duraeque papillae
     et quas astringens clauderet una manus.
ah, quantum mentem stomachi fultura mouebat
     atque sub exhausto pectore pingue femur!              30

it was a great thing to number the inflexed curls by gradations,              25
     great was the tress, dusky in color upon a niveous hue.
standing and hard nipples were searing to the eyes
     and such as a single hand, compressing, would enclose.
ah, how greatly the stomach’s support stirred my mind
     and beneath the exhausted chest, the plump thigh!              30

terrebar teneros astringere fortiter artus:
     uisa per amplexus ossa sonare meos
‘grandia’ clamabat ‘tua nunc me brachia laedunt:
     non tolerant pondus subdita membra tuum.’
dirigui, quantusque fuit calor ille recessit              35
     et nata est uenae causa pudenda meae.
non lac sic durum permixta coagula reddunt
     nec liquidi mollis spuma liquoris erit.
succubui, fateor, Graiae tunc nescius artis,
     succubui Tusca simplicitate senex.              40
qua defensa suo superata est Hectore Troia
     unum non poterat fraus superare senem?

I was frightened to clasp the tender limbs tightly:
     it seemed her bones sounded through my embraces.
‘“Big”’ she kept crying ‘your arms now hurt me:
     the limbs beneath do not endure your weight.’
I froze, and however great that heat was, it withdrew,              35
     and a shameful cause was born for my vein.
not even rennets, when mixed, render milk so hard,
     nor will the soft foam of the liquid be liquid.
I succumbed, I confess, then ignorant of the Graecian art,
     I succumbed, an old man, with Tuscan simplicity.              40
by the fraud whereby Troy, defended by its own Hector, was overcome—
     could not fraud overcome one old man?

muneris iniuncti curam studiumque reliqui
deditus imperiis, saeue Cupido, tuis.
nec memorare pudet tali me uulnere uictum: 45

i left the care and zeal of the duty enjoined
given over to your commands, savage Cupid.
nor am i ashamed to recount that i was conquered by such a wound: 45

     sudbitus his flammis Iuppiter ipse fuit.
set mihi prima quidem nox affuit ac sua soluit
     munera, grandaeuo uix subeunda uiro
proxima destituit uires uacuusque recessit
     ardor et in Venerem segnis ut ante fui.              50
illa uelut proprium repetens infesta tributum
     instat et increpitat ‘debita redde mihi.’
sed nihil hic clamor, nil sermo mitis agebat:
     quod natura negat, reddere nemo potest.
erubui, stupui.

     even Jupiter himself was subjected to these flames.
but to me the first night indeed came and paid out its own
     gifts, scarcely to be undergone by a very old man;
the next failed my forces, and ardor withdrew empty,
     and toward Venus I was sluggish as before.              50
she, as though reclaiming her own proper tribute, hostile,
     presses and chides: ‘render what is owed to me.’
but here neither clamor nor gentle speech accomplished anything:
     what nature denies, no one can render.
I blushed, I was stupefied.

quia tunc uerecundia mentem              55
     abstulit et blandum terror ademit opus,
contrectare manu coepit flagrantia membra
     meque etiam digitis sollicitare suis
nil mihi torpenti uel tactus profuit ignis:
     perstitit in medio frigus ut ante foco.              60

because then modesty stole my mind              55
     and terror took away the caressing work,
she began to handle with her hand my flaming members
     and even to rouse me with her fingers;
for me, torpid, not even the touch of fire availed:
     the frigidity persisted in the middle of the hearth as before.              60

‘quae te crudelis rapuit mihi femina?’ dixit,
     ‘cuius ab amplexu fessus ad arma redis?’
iurabam curis animum mordacibus uri
     nec posse ad luxum tristia corda trahi.
illa dolum credens ‘non’ inquit ‘fallis amantem:              65
     plurima certus amor lumina semper habet.
quin potius placido noli’ inquit ‘parcere ludo:
     proice tristitias et renouare ioco.

‘What cruel woman has snatched you from me?’ she said,
     ‘from whose embrace, weary, do you return to arms?’
I was swearing that my spirit is burned by biting cares
     and that sad hearts cannot be drawn to luxury.
she, believing it a trick, says, ‘No, you do not deceive a lover:               65
     love, being sure, always has very many eyes.
‘Nay rather, do not,’ she says, ‘spare the placid game:
     cast off your sadnesses and renew yourself with play.

obtundunt siquidem curarum pondera sensus:
     intermissa minus sarcina pondus habet.’              70
tunc egomet toto nudatus corpore lecto
     effusis lacrimis talia uerba dedi:
‘cogimur heuque senes crimen uitiumque fateri,
     ne meus extinctus forte putetur amor.
me miserum cuius non est culpanda uoluptas!              75

indeed the weights of cares dull the senses:
     a load, intermitted, has less weight.’              70
then I myself, stripped with my whole body on the couch,
     with tears poured out, gave such words:
‘we are compelled—alas—old men to confess crime and vice,
     lest my love perhaps be thought extinguished.
wretched me, whose pleasure is not to be blamed!              75

uindicor infelix debilitatis ope.
en longo confecta situ tibi tradimus arma,
arma ministeriis quippe dicata tuis.
fac quodcumque potes, nos cessimus.

i am avenged, unlucky, by the aid of weakness.
lo, worn out by long disuse we hand over to you the arms,
arms indeed dedicated to your services.
do whatever you can, we have yielded.

hoc tamen ipso
     grandior est hostis, quod minus ardet amor.’              80
protinus argutas admouit turpiter artes
     meque cupit flammis uiuificare suis.
ast ubi dilecti persensit funera membri
     nec uelut expositum surgere uidit opus,
erigitur uiduoque toro laniata recumbens              85
     uocibus his luctus et sua damna fouet:
‘mentula, festorum cultrix operosa dierum,
     quondam deliciae diuitiaeque meae,
quo te deiectam lacrimarum gurgite plangam,
     quae de tot meritis carmina digna feram?              90

yet in this very thing
     the foe is the greater, because love burns less.’              80
straightway she shamefully applied her clever arts
     and longs to vivify me with her flames.
but when she perceived the death of the beloved member
     and did not see the work, as set forth, rise,
she rises and, torn, reclining on the widowed couch              85
     with these words she soothes her mourning and her losses:
‘phallus, industrious celebrant of festal days,
     once my delights and my riches,
with what surge of tears shall I bewail you cast down,
     what songs worthy of so many merits shall I bring?              90

tu mihi flagranti succurrere saepe solebas
     atque aestus animi ludificare mei.
tu mihi per totam custos gratissima noctem
     consors laetitiae tristitiaeque meae,
conscia secreti semper fidissima nostri,              95
     astans internis peruigil obsequiis:
quo tibi feruor abit per quem feritura placebas,
     quo tibi cristatum uulnificumque caput?
nempe iaces nullo, ut quondam, perfusa rubore,
     pallida demisso uertice nempe iaces.              100
nil tibi blandities, nil dulcia carmina prosunt,
     non quicquid mentem sollicitare solet.

you used often to come to my aid when I was blazing
     and to beguile the heats of my spirit.
you, through the whole night, most welcome guardian to me,
     partner of my joy and my sadness,
conscious witness of our secret, ever most faithful,              95
     standing by, ever-vigilant with intimate services:
where has the fervor gone for you, by which, ready to bear it, you used to please,
     where is for you the crested and wound-bringing head?
surely you lie, drenched with no blush, as once,
     pale, with drooping head, surely you lie.              100
no flatteries help you, no sweet songs,
     nor whatever is wont to stir the mind.

hic uelut exposito meritam te fungere plango:
occidit, assueto quod caret officio.’
hanc ego cum lacrimis deducta uoce canentem 105

here, as if laid out, I bewail you with the merited funeral:
it has perished, because it lacks its accustomed office.’
her, singing with tears, with a lowered voice, I— 105

     irridens dictis talibus increpui:
‘dum defles nostri langorem, femina, membri,
     ostendis morbo te grauiore premi.’
illa furens: ‘nescis, ut cerno, perfide, nescis:
     non fleo priuatum, set generale chaos.              110
haec genus humanum, pecudum, uolucrumque, ferarum
     et quicquid toto spirat in orbe, creat.
hac sine diuersi nulla est concordia sexus,
     hac sine coniugii gratia summa perit.
haec geminas tanto constringit foedere mentes,              115
     unius ut faciat corporis esse duo.

     mocking, I rebuked with such words:
‘while you weep for the languor of our member, woman,
     you show yourself to be pressed by a graver disease.’
she, raging: ‘you know not, as I discern, perfidious one, you know not:
     I do not weep a private thing, but the general chaos.              110
this creates the human race, the kind of cattle, and of birds, and of wild beasts,
     and whatever breathes in the whole orb, it creates.
without this there is no concord of differing sex,
     without this the highest grace of conjugal union perishes.
this binds fast twin minds with so great a covenant,              115
     that it makes two to be of one body.’

pulcra licet pretium, si desit, femina perdit,
et si defuerit, uir quoque turpis erit.
haec si gemma micans rutilum non conferat aurum
externum fallax mortiferumque genus. 120

though fair, a woman loses her price, if it be lacking;
and if it be lacking, the man too will be base.
this, if the gleaming gem do not confer the ruddy gold—
the external stock is treacherous and death-bringing. 120

tecum pura fides secretaque certa loquuntur,
     o uere nostrum fructiferumque bonum!
ualde, inquam, felix, semper felicibus apta,
     en tibi cognatis utere deliciis!
cedunt cuncta tibi, quodque est sublimius, ultro              125
     cedunt imperiis maxima sceptra tuis,
nec subtracta gemunt, set se tibi subdita gaudent:
     uulnera sunt irae prosperiora tuae.

with you pure faith and sure secrets speak,
     O truly our fructiferous good!
very, I say, happy, always apt to the happy,
     lo, for yourself, make use of kindred delights!
all things yield to you, and what is more sublime, of their own accord              125
     the greatest scepters yield to your commands,
nor, when taken away, do they groan, but, subjected to you, they rejoice:
     the wounds of your wrath are more prosperous.

ipsa etiam totum moderans sapientia mundum
     porrigit inuictas ad tua iussa manus.              130
sternitur icta tuo uotiuo uulnere uirgo
     et perfusa nouo laeta cruore iacet.
fert tacitum ridetque suum laniata dolorem
     et percussori plaudit amica suo.
non tibi semper iners, non mollis conuenit actus              135

Wisdom herself too, governing the whole world,
     extends her invincible hands toward your commands.              130
the maiden, struck by your votive wound, is laid low
     and, drenched with new blood, she lies joyful.
torn, she bears her own silent pain and smiles
     and, as a sweetheart, she applauds her smiter.
not for you always is an inert, not a soft, action fitting              135

     mixtaque sunt ludis fortia facta tuis.
nam nunc ingenio, magnis nunc uiribus usa
     nunc his quae Veneris sunt inimica malis.
nam tibi peruigiles intendunt saepe labores
     imbres insidiae iurgia damna rates.              140
tu mihi saepe feri commendas corda tyranni,
     sangineus per te Mars quoque mitis erit,
et post extinctos debellatosque Gigantes
     excutis irato tela trisulca Ioui.

     and brave deeds are mingled with your games.
for now, using ingenuity, now great forces,
     now those evils which are inimical to Venus.
for to you the ever-wakeful labors often are aimed—
     rains, ambushes, quarrels, losses, ships.              140
you often commend to me the hearts of a savage tyrant,
     by you blood-stained Mars too will be mild,
and after the Giants have been extinguished and war-vanquished
     you shake forth the three-forked missiles for angry Jove.

tu cogis rabidas affectum discere tigres,              145
     per te blandus amans redditur ipse leo.
mira tibi uirtus, mira est patientia: uictos
     diligis et uinci tu quoque saepe uoles.
cum superata iaces, uires animosque resumis
     atque iterum uinci, uincere rursus amas.              150

you compel raging tigers to learn affection,              145
     through you the lion himself is rendered a coaxing lover.
wondrous is your virtue, wondrous is your patience: the conquered
     you cherish, and you too will often wish to be conquered.
when, overcome, you lie low, you resume your strengths and spirits
     and you love to be conquered again, to conquer in turn.              150

ira breuis, longa est pietas, recidiua uoluptas,
et cum posse perit, mens tamen una manet.’
conticuit tandem longo satiata dolore:
me uelut expletis deserit exequiis.

anger is brief, piety is long, pleasure returns,
and when ability perishes, the mind nevertheless remains the same.’
she fell silent at last, satiated by long pain:
she leaves me, as if the funeral rites were completed.

VI.

Claude precor miseras, aetas uerbosa, querelas
     numquid et hic uitium uis reserare tuum?
sic satis, indignum leuiter tetigisse pudorem:
     contractata diu crimina crimen habent.
omnibus est eadem leti uia, non tamen unus              5
     est uitae cunctis exitiique modus,
hac pueri atque senes pariter iuuenesque feruntur,
     hac par diuitibus pauper egenus erit.

Close, I pray, verbose age, the wretched complaints;
     will you even here wish to unbar your vice?
so, enough—it is unworthy to have lightly touched modesty;
     accusations long handled bear guilt.
for all there is the same road of death; yet not one              5
     is the mode of life and of ruin for all;
by this path boys and old men alike, and young men, are borne;
     by this the needy poor will be equal to the rich.

ergo quod attritum quodque est uitabile nulli,
festino gressu uincere praestat iter. 10
infelix ceu iam defleto funere surgo
hac me defunctum uiuere parte puto.

therefore, what is worn away and what is evitable by no one,
it is better to conquer the journey with a hastening step. 10
unhappy, as if with the funeral already bewailed, I rise;
in this part I think myself to live defunct.