Martial: EPIGRAMMATON LIBRI

Have, mi Torani, frater carissime. Epigramma, quod extra ordinem paginarum est, ad Stertinium clarissimum virum scripsimus, qui imaginem meam ponere in bibliotheca sua voluit. De quo scribendum tibi putavi, ne ignorares Avitus iste quis vocaretur.

Hail, my Torani, dearest brother. The epigram, which is outside the order of the pages, we wrote to Stertinius, a most illustrious man, who wished to place my image in his library. About this I thought I should write to you, lest you be unaware by what name this Avitus is called.

Vale et para hospitium.

Farewell, and prepare lodging.

Note, licet nolis, sublimi pectore vates,
       cui referet serus praemia digna cinis,
hoc tibi sub nostra breve carmen imagine vivat,
       quam non obscuris iungis, Avite, viris:
'Ille ego sum nulli nugarum laude secundus              5
       quem non miraris, sed - puto -, lector, amas.
Maiores maiora sonent: mihi parva Iocuto
       sufficit in vestras saepe redire manus.

Note, though you may not wish it, poet with a sublime breast,
       to whom belated ash will bring back worthy rewards,
may this brief song live for you beneath our image,
       which you, Avitus, join to men not obscure:
'I am he, second to none in the praise of trifles,              5
       whom you do not marvel at, but—I suppose—reader, you love.
Let the greater sound greater things: for me, a joker,
       it suffices to return often into your hands.

Dum Ianus hiemes, Domitianus autumnos,
Augustus annis commodabit aestates,
dum grande famuli nomen adseret Rheni
Germanicarum magna Iux Kalendarum,
Tarpeia summi saxa dum patris stabunt, 5
dum voce supplex dumque ture placabit
matrona divae dulce Iuliae numen:
manebit altum Flaviae decus gentis
cum sole et astris cumque luce Romana.
invicta quidquid condidit manus, caeli est. 10

While Janus will supply winters, Domitian autumns,
Augustus summers to the years,
while the great name of the servant of the Rhine will assert itself,
the great light of the German Kalends,
while the Tarpeian rocks of the Highest Father shall stand, 5
while a matron, suppliant with her voice and with incense, shall appease
the sweet numen of the deified Julia:
the high glory of the Flavian gens will abide
with the sun and stars and with the Roman light.
whatever the unconquered hand has founded is of heaven. 10

Pauper amicitiae cum sis, Lupe, non es amicae
       et queritur de te mentula sola nihil.
ilia siligineis pinguescit adultera cunnis,
       convivam pascit nigra farina tuum.
incensura nives dominae Setina liquantur,              5
       nos bibimus Corsi pulla venena cadi;
empta tibi nox est fundis non tota paternis,
       non sua desertus rura sodalis arat;
splendet Erythraeis perlucida moecha lapillis,
       ducitur addictus, te futuente, cliens;              10
octo Syris suffulta datur lectica puellae,
       nudum sandapilae pondus amicus erit.

Though you are poor in friendship, Lupus, you are not poor to your mistress,
       and only your prick complains of nothing about you.
the adulteress’s loins grow plump with wheaten cunts,
       your dinner-guest is fed with black flour.
at the incense-burning, the mistress’s Setine wines melt snows,              5
       we drink the dark poisons of a Corsican cask;
a night has been bought for you not wholly with your paternal estates,
       your deserted comrade ploughs fields not his own;
the translucent adulteress shines with Erythraean gem-stones,
       your client is led away adjudged, while you are fucking;              10
a litter propped by eight Syrians is given to the girl,
       a friend will be the naked weight of the bier.

I nunc et miseros, Cybele, praecide cinaedos:
haec erat, haec cultris mentula digna tuis.

Go now and cut off even the wretches, Cybele, the catamites:
this it was—this phallus was worthy of your knives.

III

Quantum iam superis, Caesar, caeloque dedisti
       si repetas et si creditor esse velis,
grandis in aetherio licet auctio fiat Olympo
       coganturque dei vendere quidquid habent,
conturbabit Atlans et non erit uncia tota              5
       decidat tecum qua pater ipse deum:
pro Capitolinis quid enim tibi solvere tempus,
       quid pro Tarpeiae frondis honore potest?
quid pro culminibus geminis matrona Tonantis?
       Pallada praetereo: res agit illa tuas.              10
quid loquar Alciden Phoebumque piosque Laconas?

How much you have already given to the supernal ones, Caesar, and to the sky—
       if you should demand it back and wish to be a creditor,
a great auction might be held in ethereal Olympus
       and the gods be compelled to sell whatever they have;
Atlas will go bankrupt, and there will not be even a whole ounce,              5
       let the father of the gods himself settle with you:
for the Capitoline things what can Time pay you,
       what for the honor of the Tarpeian foliage can it?
what for the twin rooftops of the Thunderer’s matron?       I pass over Pallas: she manages your affairs.              10
what should I say of Alcides and Phoebus and the pious Laconians?

addita quid Latio Flavia templa polo?
Expectes et sustineas, Auguste, necesse est:
nam tibi quod solvat non habet arca Iovis.

what of the Flavian temples added to the Latian sky?
You must expect and endure, Augustus:
for the coffer of Jove does not have what it might pay you.

Aureolis futui cum possit Galla duobus
et plus quam futui, si totidem addideris:
aureolos a te cur accipit, Aeschyle, denos?
non fellat tanti Galla. Quid ergo?

Since Galla can be fucked for two aureoli
and more than fucked, if you add just as many:
why does she receive from you, Aeschylus, ten aureoli?
Galla does not fellate for that much. What then?

Tacet.

He is silent.

V (VI)

5 (6)

Tibi, summe Rheni domitor et parens orbis,
pudice princeps, gratias agunt urbes:
populos habebunt; parere iam scelus non est.
non puer avari sectus arte mangonis
virilitatis damna maeret ereptae, 5
nec quam superbus conputet stipem leno
dat prostituto misera mater infanti.
Qui nec cubili fuerat ante te quondam,
pudor esse per te coepit et lupanari.

To you, highest tamer of the Rhine and parent of the world,
chaste princeps, the cities give thanks:
they will have peoples; to bear children is now not a crime.
No boy, cut by the art of a greedy dealer,
laments the losses of manhood snatched away; 5
nor does a wretched mother give to her prostituted infant
the fee which the haughty pimp will reckon.
That modesty, which before you once had not even been in the bed,
through you began to be even in the brothel.

VI (VII)

6 (7)

Dicere de Libycis reduci tibi gentibus, Afer,
continuis volui quinque diebus Have:
'Non vacat' aut 'dormit' dictum est bis terque reverso.
Iam satis est: non vis, Afer, havere: vale.

To say to you, Afer, returning from the Libyan peoples,
I wished “Hail” for five continuous days:
“It is not convenient” or “he is sleeping” was said twice or thrice to me returning.
Now it is enough: you do not wish, Afer, to be hailed—farewell.

VII (VIII)

7 (8)

Tamquam parva foret sexus iniuria nostri
       foedandos populo prostituisse mares,
iam cunae lenonis erant, ut ab ubere raptus
       sordida vagitu posceret aera puer:
inmatura dabant infandas corpora poenas.              5
       Non tulit Ausonius talia monstra pater,
idem qui teneris nuper succurrit ephebis,
       ne faceret steriles saeva libido viros.
Dilexere prius pueri iuvenesque senesque,
       at nunc infantes te quoque, Caesar, amant.              10

As if the injury to our sex were small,
       to have prostituted males to the people to be defiled,
already the cradles were the pimp’s, so that, snatched from the breast,
       the boy with his wailing would beg for filthy bronze:
immature bodies were paying unspeakable penalties.              5
       The Ausonian father did not endure such monsters,
the same who lately came to the aid of tender ephebes,
       lest cruel libido make men sterile.
Earlier boys and youths and old men loved you,
       but now infants too, Caesar, love you.              10

VIII (IX)

8 (9)

Nil tibi legavit Fabius, Bithynice, cui tu
annua, si memini, milia sena dabas.
plus nulli dedit ille: queri, Bithynice, noli:
annua legavit milia sena tibi.

Fabius bequeathed you nothing, Bithynicus, to whom you
were giving, if I remember, six thousand yearly.
he gave no one more: do not complain, Bithynicus:
he bequeathed to you six thousand yearly.

IX (X)

9 (10)

Cenes, Canthare, cum foris libenter,
damas et maledicis et minaris.
deponas animos truces monemus:
liber non potes et gulosus esse.

You dine, Cantharus, gladly out-of-doors,
you condemn and you slander and you menace.
we warn you to lay aside your truculent spirit:
free and gluttonous you cannot be.

X (V)

10 (5)

Nubere vis Prisco: non miror, Paula; sapisti.
ducere te non vult Priscus: et ille sapit.

You want to marry Priscus: I do not wonder, Paula; you have shown taste.
Priscus does not want to marry you: and he too shows taste.

Nomen cum violis rosisque natum,
quo pars optima nominatur anni,
Hyblam quod sapit Atticosque flores,
quod nidos olet alitis superbae;
nomen nectare dulcius beato,              5
quo mallet Cybeles puer vocari
et qui pocula temperat Tonanti,
quod si Parrhasia sones in aula,
respondent Veneres Cupidinesque;
nomen nobile, molle, delicatum              10
versu dicere non rudi volebam:
sed tu syllaba contumax rebellas.
dicunt Eiarinon tamen poetae,
sed Graeci quibus est nihil negatum
et quos 'Arej "Are decet sonare:              15

Name born with violets and roses,
by which the best part of the year is named,
which savors of Hybla and Attic flowers,
which smells of the nests of the proud bird;
a name sweeter than blessed nectar,              5
by which the boy of Cybele would rather be called
and he who mixes the cups for the Thunderer,
which, if you sound it in the Parrhasian hall,
Venuses and Cupids respond;
a noble, soft, delicate name              10
I wished to speak in a verse not rude:
but you, rebellious syllable, revolt.
Nevertheless poets say Eiarinon,
but the Greeks, to whom nothing is denied,
and whom it befits to sound 'Arej "Are:              15

nobis non licet esse tam disertis
qui Musas colimus severiores.

for us it is not permitted to be so eloquent
we who cultivate the sterner Muses.

XII (XIII)

12 (13)

Nomen habes teneri quod tempora nuncupat anni,
       cum breve Cecropiae ver populantur apes:
nomen Acidalia meruit quod harundine pingi,
       quod Cytherea sua scribere gaudet acu;
nomen Erythraeis quod littera facta lapillis,              5
       gemma quod Heliadum pollice trita notet;
quod pinna scribente grues ad sidera tollant;
       quod decet in sola Caesaris esse domo.

You have a name which names the season of the tender year,
       when the Cecropian bees plunder the brief spring:
a name which Acidalia merited to be painted with a reed,
       which Cytherea rejoices to write with her own needle;
a name whose letter, made from Erythraean little stones,              5
       which a gem of the Heliads, rubbed by the thumb, might mark;
which cranes, with a writing pinion, lift to the stars;
       which is fitting to be in Caesar’s house alone.

XIII (XII)

13 (12)

Si daret autumnus mihi nomen, Oporinos essem,
horrida si brumae sidera, Chimerinos;
dictus ab aestivo Therinos tibi mense vocarer:
tempora cui nomen verna dedere quis est?

If autumn were to give me a name, I would be Oporinos,
if the grim stars of winter, Chimerinos;
named from the summer month, I would be called Therinos by you:
who is there to whom the springtime seasons have given a name?

XIV

Hunc quem mensa tibi, quem cena paravit amicum
esse putas fidae pectus amicitiae?
aprum amat et mullos et sumen et ostrea, non te.
tam bene si cenem, noster amicus erit.

This friend whom the table, whom the dinner has prepared for you—
do you think him a heart of faithful friendship?
he loves boar and mullets and sow’s udder and oysters, not you.
if I should dine so well, he will be our friend.

Inscripsit tumulis septem scelerata virorum
'Se fecisse' Chloe. Quid pote simplicius?

The wicked Chloe inscribed on the tombs of seven men
'She did it.' What could be more simple?

XVI

Consilium formae speculum dulcisque capillos
       Pergameo posuit dona sacrata deo
ille puer tota domino gratissimus aula,
       nomine qui signat tempora verna suo.
Felix quae tali censetur munere tellus!              5
       nec Ganymedeas mallet habere comas.

He set as sacred gifts to the Pergamean god the mirror, the counsel of his beauty, and his sweet hair;
       that boy, most pleasing to his lord in the whole hall,
who marks the springtime with his own name.
       Happy the land which is valued by such a gift!              5
       nor would it rather have Ganymedean locks.

XVII

Latonae venerande nepos, qui mitibus herbis
       Parcarum exoras pensa brevesque colos,
hos tibi laudatos domino, rata vota, capillos
       ille tuus Latia misit ab urbe puer;
addidit et nitidum sacratis crinibus orbem,              5
       quo felix facies iudice tuta fuit.
Tu iuvenale decus serva, ne pulchrior ille
       in longa fuerit quam breviore coma.

Venerable grandson of Latona, you who with gentle herbs
       appease the Parcae’s allotments and their brief distaffs,
these locks, praised by their master—vows ratified—
       that boy of yours sent to you from the Latian city;
he added too a shining orb to the consecrated tresses,              5
       by whose judgment the happy face was safe.
Do you preserve the juvenile adornment, lest he be fairer
       in long hair than in shorter.

XVIII

Est mihi - sitque precor longum te praeside, Caesar -
       rus minimum, parvi sunt et in urbe lares.
sed de valle brevi quas det sitientibus hortis
       curva laboratas antlia tollit aquas:
sicca domus queritur nullo se rore foveri,              5
       cum mihi vicino Marcia fonte sonet.
Quam dederis nostris, Auguste, penatibus undam,
       Castalis haec nobis aut Iovis imber erit.

I have — and may it be long, I pray, with you as protector, Caesar — a very small country place, and in the city my Lares are small as well.
       But from a short valley a curved pump lifts the toiled-for waters which it gives to the thirsty gardens:
the dry house complains that it is refreshed by no dew,              5
       while the Marcia murmurs for me from a nearby spring.
The water which you will grant to our Penates, Augustus,
       this will be for us either Castalian or a shower of Jove.

XIX

Laudas balnea versibus trecentis
cenantis bene Pontici, Sabelle.
vis cenare, Sabelle, non lavari.

You praise the baths in three hundred verses,
at Ponticus’s good dinner, Sabellus.
You want to dine, Sabellus, not to bathe.

Haec, quae tota patet tegiturque et marmore et auro,
       infantis domini conscia terra fuit,
felix o, quantis sonuit vagitibus et quas
       vidit reptantis sustinuitque manus:
hic steterat veneranda domus quae praestitit orbi              5
       quod Rhodos astrifero, quod pia Creta polo.
Curetes texere Iovem crepitantibus annis,
       semiviri poterant qualia ferre Phryges:
at te protexit superum pater et tibi, Caesar,
       pro iaculo et parma fulmen et aegis erat.              10

This place, which lies entirely open and is covered both with marble and with gold,
       was the earth conscious of the infant master;
happy—O, with how many wailings it resounded, and what
       hands of the crawler it saw and upheld:
here had stood the venerable house which furnished to the world              5
       what Rhodes to the star-bearing pole, what pious Crete to the sky.
The Curetes hid Jove with clattering shields,
       such as the half-man Phrygians could bear;
but you the father of the gods protected, and for you, Caesar,
       in place of javelin and parma the thunderbolt and the aegis served.              10

XXI

Artemidorus habet puerum, sed vendidit agrum;
agrum pro puero Calliodorus habet.
Dic uter ex istis melius rem gesserit, Aucte:
Artemidorus amat, Calliodorus arat.

Artemidorus has a boy, but he sold a field;
Calliodorus has a field in exchange for the boy.
Say which of these handled the affair better, Auctus:
Artemidorus loves, Calliodorus plows.

XXII

Credis ob haec me, Pastor, opes fortasse rogare
       propter quae populus crassaque turba rogat,
ut Setina meos consumat gleba ligones
       et sonet innumera compede Tuscus ager;
ut Mauri Libycis centum stent dentibus orbes              5
       et crepet in nostris aurea lamna toris,
nec labris nisi magna meis crystalla terantur
       et faciant nigras nostra Falerna nives;
ut canusinatus nostro Surus assere sudet
       et mea sit culto sella cliente frequens;              10
aestuet ut nostro madidus conviva ministro,
       quem permutatum nec Ganymede velis;
ut lutulenta linat Tyrias mihi mula lacernas
       et Massyla meum virga gubernet equum.
Est nihil ex istis: superos ac sidera testor              15

Do you believe for these things, Pastor, that I am perhaps asking for wealth,
       the sort of things for which the people and the gross crowd ask,
that the Setine clod may wear out my hoes,
       and that the Tuscan field may ring with innumerable fetters;
that a hundred Mauritanian round-tables may stand with Libyan teeth,              5
       and that golden plate may rattle on our couches,
that only great crystals be worn down by my lips
       and that my Falernians make snows black;
that Surus the Syrian, Canusian-cloaked, may sweat at my litter-pole,
       and that my sedan be thronged with well-groomed clients;              10
that a guest, drenched, may burn for my cupbearer,
       whom you would not wish exchanged even for Ganymede;
that a muddy mule may smear my Tyrian cloaks
       and that a Massylian with his switch may pilot my horse.
There is nothing of these: I call the gods above and the stars to witness.              15

Ergo quid? Ut donem, Pastor, et aedificem.

So then what? That I may donate, Pastor, and build.

XXIII

O cui virgineo flavescere contigit auro,
       dic ubi Palladium sit tibi, Care, decus.
Aspicis en domini fulgentes marmore vultus?
       venit ad has ultro nostra corona comas.'
Albanae livere potest pia quercus olivae,              5
       cinxerit invictum quod prior illa caput.

O you to whom it has befallen to grow golden with virginal gold,
       tell where the Palladium is for you, Dear, a glory.
Do you see—lo!—the lord’s faces gleaming in marble?
       to these locks our crown has come unbidden.'
The pious Alban oak can turn livid at the olive,              5
       because that one first encircled the unconquered head.

XXIV

Quis Palatinos imitatus imagine vultus
       Phidiacum Latio marmore vicit ebur?
haec mundi facies, haec sunt Iovis ora sereni:
       sic tonat ille deus cum sine nube tonat.
Non solam tribuit Pallas tibi, Care, coronam;              5
       effigiem domini, quam colis, iIla dedit.

Who, having imitated the Palatine features in an image,
       with Latin marble has surpassed Phidian ivory?
This is the face of the world, these are the features of serene Jove:
       thus that god thunders when he thunders without a cloud.
Pallas granted not only a crown to you, Care;              5
       she gave the effigy of the lord whom you worship.

XXV

Dantem vina tuum quotiens aspeximus Hyllum,
lumine nos, Afer, turbidiore notas.
Quod, rogo, quod scelus est mollem spectare ministrum?
aspicimus solem sidera, templa, deos.

Whenever we have beheld your Hyllus pouring wine,
you, Afer, note us with a more turbid glance.
What, I ask, what crime is it to gaze upon a soft cupbearer?
we look upon the sun, the stars, temples, the gods.

avertam vultus, tamquam mihi pocula Gorgon              5
       porrigat atque oculos oraque nostra petat?
trux erat Alcides, et Hylan spectare licebat;
       ludere Mercurio cum Ganymede licet.
Si non vis teneros spectet conviva ministros,
       Phineas invites, Afer, et Oedipodas.              10

Shall I avert my face, as though the Gorgon were proffering cups to me              5
       and were aiming at my eyes and my mouth?
Alcides was truculent, and it was permitted to look upon Hylas;
       it is permitted for Mercury to play with Ganymede.
If you do not wish the guest to gaze upon tender attendants,
       invite Phineus, Afer, and Oedipuses.              10

XXVI

Audet facundo qui carmina mittere Nervae,
       pallida donabit glaucina, Cosme, tibi,
Paestano violas et cana ligustra colono,
       Hyblaeis apibus Corsica mella dabit:
sed tamen et parvae nonnulla est gratia Musae;              5
       appetitur posito vilis oliva lupo.
nec tibi sit mirum modici quod conscia vatis
       iudicium metuit nostra Thalia tuum:
ipse tuas etiam veritus Nero dicitur aures,
       lascivum iuvenis cum tibi lusit opus.              10

He who dares to send songs to eloquent Nerva
       will bestow pale pewter, Cosmus, on you,
violets from a Paestan farmer and hoary privets,
       Corsican honey he will give with Hyblaean bees:
but yet even a small Muse has some grace;               5
       even the cheap olive is sought when the sea-bass is set down.
nor let it be a marvel that our Thalia, conscious of a modest bard,
       fears your judgment:
even Nero himself is said to have dreaded your ears,
       when, as a young man, he played a wanton piece for you.              10

XXVII

Cum depilatos, Chreste, coleos portes
et vulturino mentulam parem collo
et prostitutis levius caput culis,
nec vivat ullus in tuo pilus crure,
purgentque saevae cana labra volsellae; 5
Curios, Camillos, Quintios, Numas, Ancos,
et quidquid umquam legimus pilosorum
loqueris sonasque grandibus minax verbis,
et cum theatris saeculoque rixaris.
Occurrit aliquis inter ista si draucus, 10
lam paedagogo liberatus et cuius
refibulavit turgidum faber penem,
nutu vocatum ducis, et pudet fari
Catoniana, Chreste, quod facis lingua.

Since you carry, Chreste, depilated balls,
       and a member equal to a vulturine neck,
and a head smoother than the asses of prostitutes,
       nor does any hair live on your leg,
and savage tweezers purge your hoary lips;              5
the Curii, the Camilli, the Quinctii, the Numas, the Ancuses,
       and whatever ever we have read of the hairy ones,
you speak of, and you resound, menacing with grand words,
       and you quarrel with the theaters and with the age.
If, amid all this, some draucus meets you,              10
now freed from his paedagogue, and the one whose
turgid penis a craftsman has refibulated,
you lead him, summoned by a nod—and I am ashamed to say—
what you do, Chreste, with a Catonian tongue.

XXVIII

Dulce decus scaenae, ludorum fama, Latinus
       ille ego sum, plausus deliciaeque tuae,
qui spectatorem potui fecisse Catonem,
       solvere qui Curios Fabriciosque graves.
Sed nihil a nostro sumpsit mea vita theatro              5
       et sola tantum scaenicus arte feror:
nec poteram gratus domino sine moribus esse:
       intenus mentes inspicit ille deus.
Vos me laurigeri parasitum dicite Phoebi,
       Roma sui famulum dum sciat esse Iovis.              10

Sweet honor of the stage, fame of the games, Latinus—
       I am that man, the applause and the delight of yours,
who could make even Cato a spectator,
       who could relax the grave Curii and Fabricii.
But my life took nothing from our theater,              5
       and only in art am I a man of the stage:
nor could I be pleasing to my lord without morals:
       that god inspects minds from within.
Call me the parasite of laurel-bearing Phoebus,
       so long as Rome knows me to be the servant of her own Jove.              10

XXIX

Saecula Nestoreae permensa, Philaeni, senectae
rapta es ad infernas tam cito Ditis aquas?
Euboicae nondum numerabas longa Sibyllae
tempora: maior erat mensibus illa tribus.
Heu quae lingua silet!

Having spanned the ages of Nestor’s senectitude, Philaenis,
have you been snatched to the infernal waters of Dis so quickly?
You were not yet numbering the long periods of the Euboean Sibyl:
that one was greater by three months.
Alas, what a tongue falls silent!

non illam mille catastae              5
       vincebant, nec quae turba Sarapin amat,
nec matutini cirrata caterva magistri,
       nec quae Strymonio de grege ripa sonat
quae nunc Thessalico lunam deducere rhombo,
       quae sciet hos illos vendere lena toros?              10
Sit tibi terra levis mollique tegaris harena,
       ne tua non possint eruere ossa canes.

Not even a thousand auction-blocks outdid her,              5
       nor the crowd that loves Sarapis,
nor the ringleted throng of the morning schoolmaster,
       nor the bank that sounds with the Strymonian flock.
What procuress now will know how, with a Thessalian rhombus, to draw down the moon,
       who will know how to sell these, those beds?              10
May the earth be light for you and may you be covered with soft sand,
       so that dogs may not be able to dig up your bones.

XXX

Cappadocum saevis Antistius occidit oris
       Rusticus. O tristi crimine terra nocens!
Rettulit ossa sinu cari Nigrina mariti
       et questa est longas non satis esse vias;
cumque daret sanctam tumulis, quibus invidet, urnam,              5
       visa sibi est rapto bis viduata viro.

Antistius Rusticus fell on the savage shores of the Cappadocians
       O land guilty with a sad crime!
Nigrina brought back in her bosom the bones of her dear husband
       and complained that even long roads were not enough;
and when she gave the sacred urn to the tombs, which she envies,              5
       she seemed to herself twice widowed of her snatched-away husband.

XXXI

Cum comes Arctois haereret Caesaris armis
       Velius, hanc Marti pro duce vovit avem;
luna quater binos non tota peregerat orbes,
       debita poscebat iam sibi vota deus:
ipse suas anser properavit laetus ad aras              5
       et cecidit sanctis hostia parva focis.
Octo vides patulo pendere nomismata rostro
       alitis? haec extis condita nuper erant:
quae litat argento pro te, non sanguine, Caesar,
       victima iam ferro non opus esse docet.              10

While Velius, as a companion, was clinging to Caesar’s Northern arms,
       he vowed this bird to Mars on behalf of his leader;
the moon had not quite completed four times two orbits,
       the god was already demanding the vows owed to him:
the goose itself hastened gladly to its own altars,              5
       and fell, a small victim, at the sacred hearths.
Do you see eight coins hanging from the bird’s gaping beak,
       the fowl’s? These were lately concealed in the entrails:
the victim which sacrifices for you with silver, not with blood, Caesar,
       shows that now there is no need of steel.              10

XXXII

Hanc volo quae facilis, quae palliolata vagatur,
       hanc volo quae puero iam dedit ante meo,
hanc volo quam redimit totam denarius alter,
       hanc volo quae pariter sufficit una tribus.
poscentem nummos et grandia verba sonantem              5
       possideat crassae mentula Burdigalae.

I want the one who is facile, who wanders mantled in a little pallium,
       I want the one who already gave herself to my boy before me,
I want the one whom another denarius redeems outright,
       I want the one who alone equally suffices for three at once.
let the demander of coins and one sounding grand words              5
       be possessed by the prick of coarse Bordeaux.

XXXIII

Audieris in quo, Flacce, balneo plausum,
Maronis illic esse mentulam scito.

If in some bath, Flaccus, you hear applause,
know that Maro’s penis is there.

XXXIV

Iuppiter Idaei risit mendacia busti,
       dum videt Augusti Flavia templa poli,
atque inter mensas largo iam nectare fusus,
       pocula cum Marti traderet ipse suo,
respiciens Phoebum pariter Phoebique sororem,              5
       cum quibus Alcides et pius Arcas erat
'Gnosia vos' inquit 'nobis monumenta dedistis:
       cernite quam plus sit Caesaris esse patrem.'

Jupiter laughed at the lies of the Idaean tomb,
       while he sees the Flavian temples of Augustus’s heaven,
and, poured out among the tables now with lavish nectar,
       as he himself was handing cups to his own Mars,
looking back at Phoebus and equally at Phoebus’s sister,              5
       with whom Alcides and pious Arcas were,
“You have given to us Cnossian monuments,” he says:
       “see how much more it is to be the father of Caesar.”

XXXV

Artibus his semper cenam, Philomuse, mereris,
       plurima dum fingis, sed quasi vera refers.
scis quid in Arsacia Pacorus deliberet aula,
       Rhenanam numeras Sarmaticamque manum,
verba ducis Daci chartis mandata resignas,              5
       victricem laurum quam venit ante vides,
scis quotiens Phario madeat Iove fusca Syene,
       scis quota de Libyco litore puppis eat,
cuius Iuleae capiti nascantur olivae,
       destinet aetherius cui sua serta pater.              10
Tolle tuas artes; hodie cenabis apud me
       hac lege, ut narres nil, Philomuse, novi.

By these arts you always earn a dinner, Philomuse,
       while you fabricate very many things, yet you report them as if true.
you know what Pacorus deliberates in the Arsacid court,
       you enumerate the Rhenish and the Sarmatian force,
you unseal the words of the Dacian leader consigned to papers,              5
       you foresee which conquering laurel is coming,
you know how often dusky Syene is wetted by Pharian Jove,
       you know which-numbered ship sets out from the Libyan shore,
on whose head the Iulean olives will spring,
       for whom the aetherial father appoints his own garlands.              10
Put away your arts; today you will dine at my house
       on this condition: that you tell nothing new, Philomuse.

XXXVI

Viderat Ausonium posito modo crine ministrum
       Phryx puer, alterius gaudia nota Iovis:
'Quod tuus ecce suo Caesar permisit ephebo
       tu permitte tuo, maxime rector' ait;
'iam mihi prima latet longis lanugo capillis,              5
       iam tua me ridet Iuno vocatque virum.'
Cui pater aetherius 'Puer o dulcissime,' dixit,
       'non ego quod poscis, res negat ipsa tibi:
Caesar habet noster similis tibi mille ministros
       tantaque sidereos vix capit aula mares;              10
at tibi si dederit vultus coma tonsa viriles,
       quis mihi qui nectar misceat alter erit?'

He had seen the Ausonian attendant with hair just now laid aside,
       the Phrygian boy, the familiar joys of a different Jove:
“What your Caesar, look, has permitted to his own ephebe,
       do you permit to yours, greatest ruler,” he says;
“already my first down lies hidden beneath long locks,              5
       already your Juno laughs at me and calls me a man.”
To whom the aetherial father said, “O sweetest boy,
       it is not I who deny what you ask; the thing itself denies it to you:
our Caesar has a thousand attendants like you,
       and so great a hall scarcely holds the starry males;               10
but if shorn hair gives you manly looks,
       who will there be for me—another to mix the nectar?”

XXXVII

Cum sis ipsa domi mediaque ornere Subura,
       fiant absentes et tibi, GalIa, comae,
nec dentes aliter quam Serica nocte reponas,
       et iaceas centum condita pyxidibus,
nec tecum facies tua dormiat, innuis illo              5
       quod tibi prolatum est mane supercilio,
et te nulla movet cani reverentia cunni,
       quem potes inter avos iam numerare tuos.
promittis sescenta tamen; sed mentula surda est,
       et sit lusca licet, te tamen illa videt.              10

Since you yourself are at home and you deck the Subura’s very middle,
       let even your tresses be absent for you, GalIa;
nor do you put your teeth away except for a silken night,
       and you lie stowed in a hundred little boxes,
nor does your face sleep with you; you signal with that              5
       eyebrow that was put on you in the morning;
and no reverence for a gray cunny moves you,
       which you can already number among your grandfathers.
you promise six hundred things; but the prick is deaf,
       and though it be one-eyed, still it sees you.              10

XXXVIII

Summa licet velox, Agathine, pericula ludas,
       non tamen efficies ut tibi parma cadat.
nolentem sequitur tenuisque reversa per auras
       vel pede vel tergo, crine vel ungue sedet;
Iubrica Corycio quamvis sint pulpita nimbo              5
       et rapiant celeres vela negata Noti,
securos pueri neglecta perambulat artus,
       et nocet artifici ventus et unda nihil.
Ut peccare velis, cum feceris omnia, falli
       non potes: arte opus est ut tibi parma cadat.              10

Though you, swift Agathinus, may play with the utmost perils,
       you will not, however, bring it about that your parma falls.
It follows you unwilling, and, turned back through the thin airs,
       it perches either on your foot or on your back, on hair or on nail;
although the stage-boards are slippery with a Corycian spray-cloud,              5
       and the swift South Winds snatch at sails though denied,
the parma, unattended, perambulates the boy’s limbs unafraid,
       and neither wind nor wave harms the artificer at all.
Even if you should wish to err, when you have done everything, to be tripped up
       you cannot: there is need of art for your parma to fall.              10

XXXIX

Prima Palatino lux est haec orta Tonanti,
       optasset Cybele qua peperisse Iovem;
hac et sancta mei genita est Caesonia Rufi:
       plus debet matri nulla puella suae.
Laetatur gemina votorum sorte maritus,              5
       contigit hunc illi quod bis amare diem.

This first light has arisen for the Palatine Thunderer,
       on which Cybele would have wished to have borne Jove;
and on this sacred day my Rufus’s Caesonia was born:
       no girl owes more to her own mother.
The husband rejoices in the twin lot of his vows,              5
       for it has befallen him to love this day twice.

Tarpeias Diodorus ad coronas
Romam cum peteret Pharo relicta,
vovit pro reditu viri Philaenis
illam lingeret ut puella simplex
quam castae quoque diligunt Sabinae. 5
dispersa rate tristibus procellis
mersus fluctibus obrutusque ponto
ad votum Diodorus enatavit.
O tardus nimis et piger maritus!
hoc in litore si puella votum 10
fecisset mea, protinus redissem.

When Diodorus, with Pharos left behind, was seeking Rome for the Tarpeian crowns,
Philaenis vowed for her man’s return that she would lick that part of a simple girl
which even chaste Sabine women also love. 5
With his ship scattered by gloomy storms,
drowned by the waves and overwhelmed by the deep,
Diodorus swam out in accordance with the vow.
O too slow and lazy husband!
If my girl had made such a vow on this shore, 10
I would have returned forthwith.

XLI

Pontice, quod numquam futuis, sed paelice laeva
       uteris et Veneri servit amica manus,
hoc nihil esse putas? scelus est, mihi crede, sed ingens,
       quantum vix animo concipis ipse tuo.
nempe semel futuit, generaret Horatius ut tres;              5
       Mars semel, ut geminos Ilia casta daret.

Ponticus, because you never fuck, but with a left-hand concubine
       you make use, and a friendly hand serves Venus,
you think this is nothing? it is a crime, believe me, but immense,
       as much as you scarcely conceive in your own mind.
surely he fucked once, that Horatius might beget three;              5
       Mars once, so that chaste Ilia might give twins.

omnia perdiderat si masturbatus uterque
mandasset manibus gaudia foeda suis.
ipsam crede tibi naturam dicere rerum:
'Istud quod digitis, Pontice, perdis, homo est.' 10

both would have lost everything, if, masturbating, they had consigned their foul joys to their own hands.
believe that Nature herself, the very nature of things, says to you:
'That thing which you waste with your fingers, Ponticus, is a man.' 10

XLII

Campis dives Apollo sic Myrinis,
sic semper senibus fruare cycnis,
doctae sic tibi serviant sorores
nec Deiphis tua mentiatur ulli,
sic Palatia te colant amentque: 5
bis senos cito te rogante fasces
det Stellae bonus adnuatque Caesar.
felix tunc ego debitorque voti
casurum tibi rusticas ad aras
ducam cornibus aureis iuvencum. 10
Nata est hostia, Phoebe; quid moraris?

Apollo rich in the fields at Myrina, so may you enjoy
thus always the aged swans, thus may the learned sisters serve you,
nor may your Delphi lie to any man,
so may the Palatia cherish and love you: 5
with you asking, may the good Caesar quickly grant
to Stella the twice‑six fasces and nod assent.
Then I, happy and debtor of the vow,
will lead to your rustic altars a young bull
with golden horns to fall for you. 10
The victim has been born, Phoebus; why do you delay?

XLIII

Hic qui dura sedens porrecto saxa leone
       mitigat, exiguo magnus in aere deus,
quaeque tulit spectat resupino sidera vultu,
       cuius laeva calet robore, dextra mero:
non est fama recens nec nostri gloria caeli;              5
       nobile Lysippi munus opusque vides.
hoc habuit numen Pellaei mensa tyranni,
       qui cito perdomito victor in orbe iacet;
hunc puer ad Libycas iuraverat Hannibal aras;
       iusserat hic Sullam ponere regna trucem.              10
Offensus variae tumidis terroribus aulae
       privatos gaudet nunc habitare lares,
utque fuit quondam placidi conviva Molorchi,
       sic voluit docti Vindicis esse deus.

Here he who, sitting, with the lion outstretched, softens the hard rocks,
       the great god in a small bronze;
and he gazes with upturned face at the stars which he once bore,
       whose left is warm with the club’s might, the right with unmixed wine:
this is no recent fame nor the glory of our sky;              5
       you behold the noble gift and work of Lysippus.
This numen the table of the Pellaean tyrant possessed,
       who, the world quickly subdued, lies as victor;
by this one the boy Hannibal had sworn at the Libyan altars;
       this one had ordered cruel Sulla to lay down his rule.              10
Offended by the swollen terrors of the variegated court
       he rejoices now to inhabit private hearths,
and as he was once the table-companion of gentle Molorchus,
       so the god has wished to belong to learned Vindex.

XLIV

Alciden modo Vindicis rogabam
esset cuius opus laborque felix.
Risit, nam solet hoc, levique nutu
'Graece numquid' ait 'poeta nescis?
inscripta est basis indicatque nomen.' 5
Lusìppou lego, Phidiae putavi.

I was just asking Vindex about Alcides,
by whom the work and happy labor was.
He laughed—for he is wont to do this—and with a light nod
said, 'Do you perchance not know Greek, poet?
the base is inscribed and indicates the name.' 5
I read “Lysippou”; I had thought it was Phidias’s.

XLV

Miles Hyperboreos modo, Marcelline, triones
       et Getici tuleras sidera pigra poli:
ecce Promethei rupes et fabula montis
       quam prope sunt oculis nunc adeunda tuis!
videris inmensis cum conclamata querelis              5
       saxa senis, dices 'Durior ipse fuit.'
et licet haec addas: 'Potuit qui talia ferre,
       humanum merito finxerat ille genus.'

Soldier, Marcellinus, only just now you had borne the Hyperborean Triones
       and the sluggish stars of the Getic pole:
behold the crags of Prometheus and the fabled mountain
       how near they now are to be approached by your eyes!
when you have seen the old man’s rocks, loud with immense laments              5
       you will say, 'He himself was harder.'
and you may add this: 'He who could bear such things
       had with merit fashioned the human race.'

XLVI

Gellius aedificat semper: modo limina ponit,
       nunc foribus claves aptat emitque seras,
nunc has, nunc illas reficit mutatque fenestras:
       dum tantum aedificet, quidlibet ille facit,
oranti nummos ut dicere possit amico              5
       unum illud verbum Gellius 'Aedifico.'

Gellius is always building: now he sets thresholds,
       now he fits keys to the doors and buys bolts,
now he refashions these, now those windows and changes them:
       so long as he may only be building, he does whatever he likes,
that he may be able to say to a friend asking for money              5
       that single word, Gellius: 'I am building.'

XLVII

Democritos, Zenonas inexplicitosque Platonas
       quidquid et hirsutis squalet imaginibus,
sic quasi Pythagorae loqueris successor et heres.
       praependet sane nec tibi barba minor:
sed, quod et hircosis serum est et turpe pilosis,              5
       in molli rigidam clune libenter habes.
Tu, qui sectarum causas et pondera nosti,
       dic mihi, percidi, Pannyche, dogma quod est?

Democrituses, Zenos, and the inexplicable Platos,
       and whatever is foul with hirsute images—
thus you speak as if the successor and heir of Pythagoras.
       indeed your beard dangles, nor is it the lesser:
but that which is too late for the goatish and shameful for the hairy,              5
       you gladly have a rigid one in a soft buttock.
You, who know the causes and the weights of the sects,
       tell me—I'm undone—Pannychus, what is a dogma?

XLVIII

Heredem cum me partis tibi, Garrice, quartae
       per tua iurares sacra caputque tuum,
credidimus - quis enim damnet sua vota libenter? -
       et spem muneribus fovimus usque datis;
inter quae rari Laurentem ponderis aprum              5
       misimus: Aetola de Calydone putes.
at tu continuo populumque patresque vocasti;
       ructat adhuc aprum callida Roma meum:
ipse ego - quis credat?

When you swore me, Garricus, heir to a fourth share
       by your sacred rites and by your own head,
we believed—for who willingly condemns his own vows?—
       and we fostered our hope with gifts continually given;
among which we sent a Laurentine boar of rare weight,              5
       you’d think it from Aetolian Calydon.
but you straightway summoned both the people and the senators;
       cunning Rome still belches my boar:
I myself—who would believe it?

- conviva nec ultimus haesi,
sed nec costa data est caudave missa mihi. 10
De quadrante tuo quid sperem, Garrice? Nulla
de nostro nobis uncia venit apro.

- as a table-companion I did not linger as the last,
but neither was a rib given nor a tail sent to me. 10
Of your quarter what am I to hope, Garrice? Not a single
ounce came to us from our boar.

XLIX

Haec est illa meis multum cantata libellis,
       quam meus edidicit lector amatque togam.
Partheniana fuit quondam, memorabile vatis
       munus: in hac ibam conspiciendus eques,
dum nova, dum nitida fulgebat splendida lana,              5
       dumque erat auctoris nomine digna sui:
nunc anus et tremulo vix accipienda tribuli,
       quam possis niveam dicere iure tuo.
Quid non longa dies, quid non consumitis anni?

This is that one much sung in my little booklets,
       which my reader has learned by heart and loves—the toga.
She was once Parthenian, a memorable gift of the bard:
       in this I used to go, an equestrian to be looked at,
while new, while gleaming, the splendid wool was shining,              5
       and while she was worthy of her giver’s own name:
now an old crone and scarcely to be taken in hand by the trembling carder,
       which you could rightly call snow-white as yours.
What do you not wear away, long day; what do you not consume, O years?

haec toga iam non est Partheniana, mea est. 10

this toga now is not Parthenian, it is mine. 10

Ingenium mihi, Gaure, probas sic esse pusillum,
       carmina quod faciam quae brevitate placent.
Confiteor. Sed tu bis senis grandia libris
       qui scribis Priami proelia, magnus homo es?
Nos facimus Bruti puerum, nos Langona vivum:              5
       tu magnus luteum, Gaure, Giganta facis.

You prove my talent, Gaure, to be thus tiny,
       because I make poems which please by brevity.
I confess. But you, who in twice-six books write
       the grand battles of Priam—are you a great man?
I make Brutus’s boy; I make Langon alive:              5
       you, great one, Gaure, make a clay Giant.

Quod semper superos invito fratre rogasti,
       hoc, Lucane, tibi contigit, ante mori.
invidet ille tibi; Stygias nam Tullus ad umbras
       optabat, quamvis sit minor, ire prior.
tu colis Elysios nemorisque habitator amoeni              5
       esse tuo primum nunc sine fratre cupis;
et si iam nitidis alternus venit ab astris,
       pro Polluce mones Castora ne redeat.

What you always asked of the gods above, with your brother unwilling,
       this, Lucan, has befallen you: to die first.
He envies you; for Tullus was wishing to go to the Stygian shades
       first, although he is the younger.
You dwell in the Elysian fields, and, an inhabitant of a pleasant grove,              5
       now you desire to be first to be without your brother;
and if already, in alternation, he comes from the shining stars,
       in place of Pollux you advise that Castor not return.

LII

Si credis mihi, Quinte, quod mereris,
natalis, Ovidi, tuas Aprilis
ut nostras amo Martias Kalendas.
felix utraque lux diesque nobis
signandi melioribus lapillis! 5
hic vitam tribuit sed hic amicum.
plus dant, Quinte, mihi tuae Kalendae.

If you believe me, Quintus, as you merit,
your natal day, Ovidius—the April Kalends—
I love as I do our March Kalends.
blest are both the light and the day for us,
to be marked with better pebbles! 5
the one bestowed life, but the other a friend.
your Kalends give me more, Quintus.

LIII

Natali tibi, Quinte, tuo dare parva volebam
munera; tu prohibes: inperiosus homo es.
parendum est monitis, fiat quod uterque volemus
et quod utrumque iuvat: tu mihi, Quinte, dato.

On your natal day, Quintus, I wished to give small gifts;
you forbid it: an imperious man you are.
One must obey admonitions; let be done what we both wish
and what pleases us both: you, Quintus, give to me.

LIV

Si mihi Picena turdus palleret oliva,
       tenderet aut nostras silva Sabina plagas,
aut crescente levis traheretur harundine praeda
       pinguis et inplicitas virga teneret avis:
cara daret sollemne tibi cognatio munus              5
       nec frater nobis nec prior esset avus.
nunc sturnos inopes fringillorumque querelas
       audit et arguto passere vernat ager;
inde salutatus picae respondet arator,
       hinc prope summa rapax milvus ad astra volat              10
mittimus ergo tibi parvae munuscula chortis,
       qualia si recipis, saepe propinquus eris.

If for me a thrush grew pale in Picene olive,
       or the Sabine woodland stretched out our toils,
or fat quarry were drawn by the lengthening light reed,
       and the rod held birds entangled:
dear kinship would give you the solemn gift,              5
       nor would a brother nor an earlier grandsire rank before us.
Now the field hears impoverished starlings and the complaints of chaffinches,
       and grows spring-green with the clear-voiced sparrow;
from there the ploughman, greeted by a magpie, answers back,
       from here the ravenous kite almost flies to the stars on high;              10
therefore we send you little gifts from our small yards,
       such that, if you accept them, you will often be a kinsman.

Luce propinquorum, qua plurima mittitur ales,
       dum Stellae turdos, dum tibi, Flacce, paro,
succurrit nobis ingens onerosaque turba,
       in qua se primum quisque meumque putat.
demeruisse duos votum est; offendere plures              5
       vix tutum; multis mittere dona grave est.
qua possum sola veniam ratione merebor :
       nec Stellae turdos nec tibi, FIacce, dabo.

On the Kinsmen’s Day, on which very many birds are sent,
       while I prepare thrushes for Stella, while for you, Flaccus,
there comes to my mind a huge and onerous crowd,
       in which each man thinks himself first and my very own.
To have obliged two is my wish; to offend more is scarcely safe;              5
       to send gifts to many is burdensome.
By the only reasoning by which I can earn pardon I shall do so:
       neither to Stella shall I give thrushes, nor to you, FIaccus.

LVI

Spendophoros Libycas domini petit armiger urbis:
       quae puero dones tela, Cupido, para,
iIla quibus iuvenes figis mollesque puellas:
       sit tamen in tenera levis et hasta manu,
Ioricam clypeumque tibi galeamque remitto;              5
       tutus ut invadat proelia, nudus eat:
non iaculo, non ense fuit Iaesusve sagitta,
       casside dum liber Parthenopaeus erat.
quisquis ab hoc fuerit fixus morietur amore.
       O felix, si quem tam bona fata manent!              10
dum puer es, redeas, dum vultu lubricus, et te
       non Libye faciat, sed tua Roma virum.

Spendophorus, the armor-bearer of the lord of the city, seeks Libyan lands:
       prepare, Cupid, the weapons that you give to a boy—
those with which you pierce young men and soft girls:
       yet let the spear be light in his tender hand;
I send back to you the cuirass, the shield, and the helmet,              5
       so that he may safely enter the battles, let him go naked:
not by javelin, not by sword, nor wounded by arrow,
       while Parthenopaeus was free of helmet.
whoever shall be fixed by this boy will die of love.
       O fortunate, if one whom such good fates await!              10
while you are a boy, come back, while smooth of face, and let
       not Libya, but your Rome, make you a man.

LVII

Nil est tritius Hedyli lacernis:
non ansae veterum Corinthiorum,
nec crus compede lubricum decenni,
nec ruptae recutita colIa mulae,
nec quae Flaminiam secant salebrae, 5
nec qui litoribus nitent lapilli,
nec Tusca ligo vinea politus,
nec pallens toga mortui tribulis,
nec pigri rota quassa mulionis,
nec rasum cavea latus visontis, 10
nec dens iam senior ferocis apri.
Res una est tamen: ipse non negabit,
culus tritior Hedyli lacemis.

Nothing is more worn than Hedylus’s cloaks:
not the handles of ancient Corinthian ware,
nor a leg made slick by a ten-year fetter,
nor the re-chafed neck of a mule with a broken collar,
nor the ruts which cut up the Flaminian Way, 5
nor the pebbles that shine along the shores,
nor a Tuscan hoe polished in the vineyard,
nor the pallid toga of a dead fellow-tribesman,
nor the shaken wheel of a sluggish muleteer,
nor the side of a bison scraped by its cage, 10
nor the tooth, now elder, of a fierce boar.
There is one thing, however—he himself will not deny it—
an ass more worn than Hedylus’s cloaks.

LVIII

Nympha sacri regina lacus, cui grata Sabinus
       et mansura pio munere templa dedit,
sic montana tuos semper colat Umbria fontes
       nec tua Baianas Sassina malit aquas:
excipe sollicitos placide, mea dona, libellos;              5
       tu fueris Musis Pegasis unda meis. -
'Nympharum templis quisquis sua carmina donat,
       quid fieri libris debeat ipse monet.'

Nymph, queen of the sacred lake, to whom Sabinus gave pleasing
       and temples to endure by a pious gift,
thus may mountain Umbria always worship your springs,
       nor may Sassina prefer Baian waters to your own:
receive placidly, my gifts, my anxious little books;              5
       you shall be the Pegasean wave for my Muses. -
'Whoever donates his songs to the temples of the Nymphs,
       himself admonishes what ought to be done for the books.'

LIX

In Saeptis Mamurra diu multumque vagatus,
       hic ubi Roma suas aurea vexat opes,
inspexit molles pueros oculisque comedit,
       non hos quos primae prostituere casae,
sed quos arcanae servant tabulata catastae              5
       et quos non populus nec mea turba videt.
inde satur mensas et opertos exuit orbes
       expositumque alte pingue poposcit ebur,
et testudineum mensus quater hexaclinon
       ingemuit citro non satis esse suo.              10
consuluit nares an olerent aera Corinthon,
       culpavit statuas et, Polydite, tuas,
et turbata brevi questus crystallina vitro
       murrina signavit seposuitque decem.
expendit veteres calathos et si qua fuerunt              15

In the Saepta Mamurra, having wandered long and much,
       here where golden Rome parades its wealth,
he inspected soft boys and devoured them with his eyes,
       not those whom the front stalls have prostituted,
but those whom the secret storeys of the auction-platforms keep              5
       and whom neither the people nor my crowd sees.
Thence, sated, he stripped tables and their covered platters
       and demanded ivory set out, loftily thick,
and, having measured a tortoise-shell hexaclinon four times,
       he groaned that citrus wood was not enough for him.              10
he consulted his nostrils whether they smelled Corinthian bronzes,
       he faulted statues, and, Polydite, even yours,
and, complaining that the crystalline ware was troubled by short‑lived glass,
       he marked and set aside ten murrhine pieces.
he weighed old calathi and whatever there were              15

       pocula Mentorea nobilitata manu,
et viridis picto gemmas numeravit in auro,
       quidquid et a nivea grandius aure sonat.
sardonychas vero mensa quaesivit in omni
       et pretium magnis fecit iaspidibus.              20
undecima lassus cum iam discederet hora,
       asse duos calices emit et ipse tulit.

       goblets made renowned by the Mentorean hand,
and in green-painted gold he counted the gems,
       and whatever sounds more grand from snow-white bronze.
sardonyxes indeed he sought on every table
       and he set a price on great jaspers.              20
when, weary, as the 11th hour was now departing,
       for two asses he bought two goblets and carried them off himself.

Seu tu Paestanis genita es seu Tiburis arvis,
       seu rubuit tellus Tuscula flore tuo,
seu Praenestino te vilica legit in horto,
       seu modo Campani gloria ruris eras:
pulchrior ut nostro videare corona Sabino,              5
       de Nomentano te putet esse meo.

Whether you were born in the Paestan fields or in the fields of Tibur,
       or whether the Tusculan earth blushed with your bloom,
or whether a farmwife picked you in a Praenestine garden,
       or just now you were the glory of the Campanian countryside:
so that you may seem more beautiful as a garland to our Sabinus,              5
       let him think you to be from my Nomentan estate.

LXI

In Tartesiacis domus est notissima terris,
       qua dives placidum Corduba Baetin amat,
vellera nativo pallent ubi flava metallo
       et linit Hesperium brattea viva pecus.
aedibus in mediis totos amplexa penates              5
       stat platanus densis Caesariana comis,
hospitis invicti posuit quam dextera felix,
       coepit et ex illa crescere virga manu.
auctorem dominumque nemus sentire videtur:
       sic viret et ramis sidera celsa petit.              10
saepe sub hac madidi luserunt arbore Fauni
       terruit et tacitam fistula sera domum;
dumque fugit solos nocturnum Pana per agros,
       saepe sub hac latuit rustica fronde Dryas.

In Tartessian lands there is a house most well-known,
       where wealthy Corduba loves the placid Baetis,
where the fleeces grow pale blond with native metal
       and living gold-leaf anoints the Hesperian flock.
in the midst of the halls, embracing the whole Penates,              5
       there stands a Caesarian plane-tree with dense tresses,
which the fortunate right hand of the unconquered guest set in place,
       and from that hand the twig began to grow.
the grove seems to feel its author and its lord:
       thus it is green and with its branches seeks the lofty stars.              10
often beneath this tree the dripping Fauns have played
       and late the pipe has startled the silent house;
and while nocturnal Pan flees through the lonely fields,
       often beneath this rustic frondage a Dryad has hidden.

atque oluere lares comissatore Lyaeo 15

and the Lares smelled of revelry with Lyaeus the reveller 15

       crevit et effuso laetior umbra mero;
hesternisque rubens deiecta est herba coronis
       atque suas potuit dicere nemo rosas.
O dilecta deis, o magni Caesaris arbor,
       ne metuas ferrum sacrilegosque focos.              20
perpetuos sperare licet tibi frondis honores:
       non Pompeianae te posuere manus.

       it grew, and its shade was gladdened by poured-out wine;
reddening, the grass was strewn with yesterday’s garlands,
       and no one could call the roses his own.
O beloved by the gods, O tree of great Caesar,
       do not fear iron and sacrilegious fires.              20
you may hope for perpetual honors of foliage:
       Pompeian hands did not set you here.

LXII

Tinctis murice vestibus quod omni
et nocte utitur et die Philaenis,
non est ambitiosa nec superba:
delectatur odore, non colore.

Because Philaenis uses garments dyed with murex
both by night and by day,
she is not ambitious nor proud:
she delights in the odor, not the color.

LXIII

Ad cenam invitant omnes te, Phoebe, cinaedi.
mentula quem pascit, non, puto, purus homo est.

All the pathics invite you to dinner, Phoebe.
The man whom a prick feeds is not, I think, a pure man.

LXIV

Herculis in magni voltus descendere Caesar
       dignatus Latiae dat nova templa viae,
qua Triviae nemorosa petit dum regna, viator
       octavum domina marmor ab urbe legit.
ante colebatur votis et sanguine largo,              5
       maiorem Alciden nunc minor ipse colit.
hune magnas rogat alter opes, rogat alter honores;
       illi securus vota minora facit.

Caesar, deigning to assume the visage of great Hercules,
       gives new temples to the Latin Way,
where, while he seeks the wooded realms of Trivia, the traveler
       reads the eighth marble milestone from the mistress city.
before he was worshiped with vows and with lavish blood,              5
       now the lesser himself worships the greater Alcides.
one asks this one for great wealth, another asks for honors;
       to him he, untroubled, makes lesser vows.

LXV

Alcide, Latio nunc agnoscende Tonanti,
       postquam pulchra dei Caesaris ora geris,
si tibi tunc isti vultus habitusque fuissent,
       cesserunt manibus cum fera monstra tuis:
Argolico famulum non te servire tyranno              5
       vidissent gentes saevaque regna pati,
sed tu iussisses Eurysthea; nec tibi fallax
       portasset Nessi perfida dona Lichas,
Oetaei sine lege rogi securus adisses
       astra patris summi, quae tibi poena dedit;              10
Lydia nec dominae traxisses pensa superbae
       nec Styga vidisses Tartareumque canem.
nunc tibi Iuno favet, nunc te tua diligit Hebe;
       nunc te si videat Nympha, remittet Hylan.

Alcides, now to be recognized by the Latian Thunderer,
       since you bear the fair visage of the god Caesar,
if then those features and bearing had been yours,
       when wild monsters yielded to your hands:
the nations would not have seen you, a menial, serve the Argolic tyrant,              5
       but peoples and savage realms would have been made to suffer;
rather you would have ordered Eurystheus; nor to you would deceitful
       Lichas have borne the treacherous gifts of Nessus,
without the ordinance of the Oetaean pyre you would securely have approached
       the stars of the highest Father, which a penalty gave you;              10
nor would you have drawn the spinnings for a Lydian mistress proud
       nor would you have seen the Styx and the Tartarean hound.
now Juno favors you, now your Hebe loves you;
       now, if the Nymph should see you, she will send back Hylas.

LXVI

Uxor cum tibi sit formonsa, pudica, puella,
quo tibi natorum iura, Fabulle, trium?
quod petis a nostro supplex dominoque deoque
tu dabis ipse tibi, si potes arrigere.

Since you have a beautiful, chaste girl as a wife,
why for you the rights of three children, Fabullus?
what you ask as a suppliant from our lord and god,
you will give to yourself, if you can raise it.

LXVII

Lascivam tota possedi nocte puellam,
       cuius nequitias vincere nulla potest.
fessus mille modis illud puerile poposci:
       ante preces totas primaque verba dedit.
inprobius quiddam ridensque rubensque rogavi:              5
       pollicitast nulla luxuriosa mora.

I possessed the lascivious girl for the whole night,
       whose mischiefs nothing can conquer.
weary in a thousand ways I asked for that boyish thing:
       before my prayers were complete, she herself gave the first words.
something rather immodest, smiling and blushing, I asked:              5
       she promised with no luxurious delay.

sed mihi pura fuit; tibi non erit, Aeschyle, si vis
accipere hoc munus conditione mala.

but to me she was pure; for you she will not be, Aeschylus, if you wish
to accept this gift on a bad condition.

LXVIII

Quid tibi nobiscum est, ludi scelerate magister,
       invisum pueris virginibusque caput?
nondum cristati rupere silentia galli:
       murmure iam saevo verberibusque tonas.
tam grave percussis incudibus aera resultant,              5
       causidicum medio cum faber aptat equo:
mitior in magno clamor furit amphitheatro,
       vincenti parmae cum sua turba favet.

What have you to do with us, you wicked master of the school,
       a hated head to boys and maidens?
Not yet have the crested cocks broken the silence:
       already you thunder with savage murmur and with lashings.
So heavily do the bronzes resound from smitten anvils,              5
       when the smith fits an advocate to the middle horse:
a gentler clamor rages in the great amphitheater,
       when its crowd favors the conquering buckler.

vicini somnum - non tota nocte - rogamus:
nam vigilare leve est, pervigilare grave est. 10
discipulos dimitte tuos. Vis, garrule, quantum
accipis ut clames, accipere ut taceas?

we neighbors ask for sleep—not for the whole night—:
for to be wakeful is light; to be all-night wakeful is grave. 10
dismiss your pupils. Do you wish, chatterer, to receive as much
as you receive to shout, to receive to be silent?

LXIX

Cum futuis, Polycharme, soles in fine cacare.
cum pedicaris, quid, Polycharme, facis?

When you fuck, Polycharme, you usually shit at the end.
when you are sodomized, what, Polycharme, do you do?

LXX

Dixerat 'O mores! O tempora!' Tullius olim,
       sacrilegum strueret cum Catilina nefas,
cum gener atque socer diris concurreret armis
       maestaque civili caede maderet humus.
cur nunc 'O mores!' cur nunc 'O tempora!' dicis?              5
       quod tibi non placeat, Caeciliane, quid est?

Tullius once had said, 'O morals! O times!',
       when Catiline was contriving a sacrilegious crime,
when son-in-law and father-in-law were clashing with dread weapons
       and the earth was soaked with mournful civil slaughter.
why now do you say 'O morals!' why now 'O times!'?              5
       what is it, Caecilian, that does not please you?

nulla ducum feritas, nulla est insania ferri;
pace frui certa laetitiaque licet.
Non nostri faciunt tibi quod tua tempora sordent,
sed faciunt mores, Caeciliane, tui. 10

no ferocity of leaders, no madness of steel;
it is permitted to enjoy sure peace and joy.
It is not our times that make your times seem sordid to you,
but your mores, Caeciliane, do. 10

LXXI

Massyli leo fama iugi pecorisque maritus
       lanigeri mirum qua coiere fide.
ipse licet videas, cavea stabulantur in una
       et pariter socias carpit uterque dapes:
nec fetu nemorum gaudent nec mitibus herbis,              5
       concordem satiat sed rudis agna famem.
Quid meruit terror Nemees, quid portitor Helles,
       ut niteant celsi lucida signa poli?

The Massylian lion and the husband of the wool-bearing flock by the tale of a yoking—marvelous with what trust they have come together.
       You may see it yourself: they are stabled in one cage,
and each alike nibbles the shared viands:
neither do they delight in the offspring of the groves nor in gentle grasses,              5
       but a raw lamb satisfies their harmonious hunger.
What did the terror of Nemea merit, what the ferryman of Helle,
       that bright signs shine in the lofty firmament?

sidera si possent pecudesque feraeque mereri,
hic aries astris, hic leo dignus erat. 10

if the stars could be merited by flocks and by wild beasts,
here a ram for the stars, here a lion was worthy. 10

LXXII

Liber, Amyclaea frontem vittate corona,
       qui quatis Ausonia verbera Graia manu,
clusa mihi texto cum prandia vimine mittas,
       cur comitata dapes nulla lagona venit?
atqui digna tuo si nomine munera ferres,              5
       scis, puto, debuerint quae mihi dona dari.

Liber, your brow bound with an Amyclaean filleted crown,
       you who brandish Ausonian lashes with a Greek hand,
when you send me luncheons shut in woven wicker,
       why does no flagon come accompanying the feast?
and yet, if you were bringing gifts worthy of your name,              5
       you know, I think, what gifts ought to have been given to me.

LXXIII

Dentibus antiquas solitus producere pelles
       et mordere luto putre vetusque solum,
Praenestina tenes defuncti rura patroni,
       in quibus indignor si tibi cella fuit;
rumpis et ardenti madidus crystalla Falerno              5
       et pruris domini cum Ganymede tui.
at me litterulas stulti docuere parentes:
       quid cum grammaticis rhetoribusque mihi?
Frange leves calamos et scinde, Thalia, libellos,
       si dare sutori calceus ista potest.              10

Accustomed with your teeth to pull forth ancient hides
       and to bite the putrid mud and the old sole/soil,
you hold the Praenestine fields of a deceased patron,
       in which I am indignant if you ever had even a cella;
and, soaked, you shatter crystal with fiery Falernian,              5
       and you itch with your master’s Ganymede.
But me my foolish parents taught little letters:
       what have I to do with grammarians and rhetoricians?
Break the light reeds and tear, Thalia, the little books,
       if a shoe can bestow such things upon a cobbler.              10

LXXIV

Effigiem tantum pueri pictura Camoni
servat et infantis parva figura manet.
florentes nulla signavit imagine voltus,
dum timet ora pius muta videre pater.

Only the effigy of the boy does a picture preserve for Camon,
and the small figure of the infant remains.
His blooming features no likeness has inscribed,
while the pious father fears to behold mute features.

LXXV

Non silice duro structilive caemento,
nec latere cocto, quo Samiramis longam
Babylona cinxit, Tucca balneum fecit:
sed strage nemorum pineaque conpage,
ut navigare Tucca balneo possit. 5
idem beatas lautus extruit thermas
de marmore omni, quod Carystos invenit,
quod Phrygia Synnas, Afra quod Nomas misit
et quod virenti fonte lavit Eurotas.
sed ligna desunt: subice balneum thermis. 10

Not with hard flint or with structile cement,
nor with baked brick, with which Semiramis girded long
Babylon, did Tucca make a bath:
but with the wreck of groves and a pine-wood framework,
so that Tucca can navigate with his bath. 5
The same well-groomed fellow erects blessed, luxurious thermae
of every marble that Carystus discovered,
that Phrygian Synnada, that the African Nomad sent,
and that the Eurotas washed in its green spring.
But firewood is lacking: shove the bath under the thermae. 10

LXXVI

Haec sunt iIla mei quae cemitis ora Camoni,
       haec pueri facies primaque forma fuit.
creverat hic vultus bis denis fortior annis
       gaudebatque suas pingere barba genas,
et libata semel summos modo purpura cultros              5
       sparserat. Invidit de tribus una soror
et festinatis incidit stamina pensis
       apsentemque patri rettulit urna rogum.

These are those features of my Camoni which you behold,
       this was the boy’s face and his first form.
this countenance had grown stronger at twenty years,
       and his beard was rejoicing to paint his cheeks,
and the purple, once just tasted, had sprinkled the razor blades.              5
       One sister among the three envied it,
and with hurried spinnings she cut the threads,
       and, while he was absent, an urn brought his pyre back to his father.

Sed ne sola tamen puerum pictura loquatur,
haec erit in chartis maior imago meis. 10

But lest the picture alone speak of the boy,
this will be on my pages the greater image. 10

LXXVII

Quod optimum sit disputat convivium
       facunda Prisci pagina,
et multa dulci, multa sublimi refert,
       sed cuncta docto pectore.
Quod optimum sit quaeritis convivium?              5
       in quo choraules non erit.

What banquet is best, debates
       the eloquent page of Priscus,
and relates many things in sweet, many in sublime,
       but all from a learned breast.
You ask what banquet is best?              5
       one in which there will not be a flute-player.

LXXVIII

Funera post septem nupsit tibi Galla virorum,
Picentine: sequi vult, puto, GalIa viros.

After the funerals of seven husbands Galla married you,
Picentine: Galla wants, I suppose, to follow men.

LXXIX

Oderat ante ducum famulos turbamque priorem
       et Palatinum Roma supercilium:
at nunc tantus amor cunctis, Auguste, tuorum est
       ut sit cuique suae cura secunda domus.
tam placidae mentes, tanta est reverentia nostri,              5
       tam pacata quies, tantus in ore pudor.
nemo suos - haec est aulae natura potentis -,
       sed domini mores Caesarianus habet.

Rome once hated the servants of the generals and the prior crowd,
       and the Palatine superciliousness:
but now so great is the love, Augustus, of your own among all,
       that for each man care for his own house is second.
so placid the minds, so great the reverence for us,              5
       so pacified the quiet, so great the modesty on the lips.
no one has his own—this is the nature of a potent court—,
       but the Caesarian has his lord’s mores.

LXXX

Duxerat esuriens locupletem pauper anumque:
uxorem pascit Gellius et futuit.

Hungry and poor he had married a wealthy old woman;
Gellius feeds his wife and fucks.

LXXXI

Lector et auditor nostros probat, Aule, libellos,
sed quidam exactos esse poeta negat.
non nimium curo: nam cenae fercula nostrae
malim convivis quam placuisse cocis.

Reader and hearer approve my little books, Aulus,
but a certain poet denies that they are polished.
I do not care overmuch: for the courses of my dinner
I would rather had pleased the guests than the cooks.

LXXXII

Dixerat astrologus periturum te cito, Munna,
       nec, puto, mentitus dixerat ille tibi.
nam tu dum metuis ne quid post fata relinquas,
       hausisti patrias luxuriosus opes
bisque tuum deciens non toto tabuit anno:              5
       dic mihi, non hoc est, Munna, perire cito?

The astrologer had said you would perish quickly, Munna,
       and, I think, he did not say it falsely to you.
for you, while you fear lest you leave anything after death,
       you, luxurious, drained your ancestral wealth
and your two million melted away in not a whole year:              5
       tell me, is this not, Munna, to perish quickly?

LXXXIII

Inter tanta tuae miracula, Caesar, harenae,
quae vincit veterum munera clara ducum,
multum oculi, sed plus aures debere fatentur
se tibi quod spectant qui recitare solent.

Among so many miracles of your arena, Caesar,
which outdoes the illustrious gifts of ancient leaders,
the eyes confess they owe much, but the ears more,
to you, since those who are wont to recite now watch.

LXXXIV

Cum tua sacrilegos contra, Norbane, furores
       staret pro domino Caesare sancta fides,
haec ego Pieria ludebam tutus in umbra,
       ille tuae cultor notus amicitiae.
me tibi Vindelicis Raetus narrabat in oris              5
       nescia nec nostri nominis Arctos erat:
o quotiens veterem non inficiatus amicum
       dixisti 'Meus est iste poeta, meus!'
omne tibi nostrum quod bis trieteride iuncta
       ante dabat lector, nunc dabit auctor opus.              10

When, against your sacrilegious furies, Norbane, sacred fidelity stood for its lord Caesar,
       I was playing with these Pierian things, safe in the shade; that man, a well-known cultivator of your friendship.
A Raetian on the Vindelician shores was telling you about me,              5
       nor was the Bear unknowing of our name:
O how often, not disowning an old friend,
       you said, ‘That poet is mine, mine!’
All my work which before, with a trieteris twice conjoined,
       a reader used to give to you, now the author will give the work.              10

LXXXV

Languidior noster si quando est Paulus, Atili,
non se, convivas abstinet ille suos.
Tu languore quidem subito fictoque laboras,
sed mea porrexit sportula, Paule, pedes.

If ever our Paul is more languid, Atilius,
not himself—he keeps his own guests away.
You indeed suffer from a sudden and feigned languor,
but my sportula, Paul, has given up the ghost.

LXXXVI

Festinata sui gemeret quod fata Severi
       Silius, Ausonio non semel ore potens,
cum grege Pierio maestus Phoeboque querebar.
       'Ipse meum flevi' dixit Apollo 'Linon':
respexitque suam quae stabat proxima fratri              5
       Calliopen et ait: 'Tu quoque vulnus habes.
aspice Tarpeium Palatinumque Tonantem:
       ausa nefas Lachesis laesit utrumque Iovem.

Because Silius, mighty time and again with an Ausonian mouth, was lamenting the hastened fates of his Severus,
       I, sad, was complaining with the Pierian choir and with Phoebus.
When I was mourning, Apollo said, 'I myself wept my Linus':
       and he looked back at his own Calliope, who stood nearest to her brother,              5
       and said: 'You too have a wound.
Look upon the Tarpeian and the Palatine Thunderer:
       Lachesis, daring an impiety, has wounded both Joves.'

numina cum videas duris obnoxia fatis,
invidia possis exonerare deos.' 10

when you see the numina subject to harsh fates,
you can exonerate the gods from envy.' 10

LXXXVII

Septem post calices Opimiani
denso cum iaceam triente blaesus,
adfers nescio quas mihi tabellas
et dicis 'Modo liberum esse iussi
Nastam - servolus est mihi paternus - 5
signa!' Cras melius, Luperce, fiet:
nunc signat meus anulus lagonam.

After seven chalices of Opimian,
as I lie slurred with a brimming third‑measure,
you bring me I‑know‑not‑what tablets
and say, 'Just now I ordered Nastas to be free
—he is a paternal little slave of mine— sign!' 5
Tomorrow it will go better, Luperce:
now my ring seals the flagon.

LXXXVIII

Cum me captares, mittebas munera nobis:
postquam cepisti, das mihi, Rufe, nihil.
ut captum teneas, capto quoque munera mitte,
de cavea fugiat ne male pastus aper.

When you were trying to capture me, you used to send gifts to me:
after you have captured me, Rufus, you give me nothing.
To hold what is captured, send gifts to the captive as well,
lest the boar, poorly fed, escape from the cage.

LXXXIX

Lege nimis dura convivam scribere
cogis, Stella? 'Licet scribere nempe malos.'

By a too-harsh rule you force the banquet‑guest to write, Stella?
'Surely, then, it is permitted to write bad ones.'

qua gemmantibus hinc et inde rivis
curva calculus excitatur unda,
exclusis procul omnibus molestis,
pertundas glaciem triente nigro,              5
frontem sutilibus ruber coronis;
sic uni tibi sit puer cinaedus
et castissima pruriat puella:
infamem nimio calore Cypron
observes moneo precorque, Flacce,              10
messes area cum teret crepantis
et fervens iuba saeviet leonis.
At tu, diva Paphi, remitte, nostris
inlaesum iuvenem remitte votis.
sic Martis tibi serviant Kalendae              15

where, with rivulets bejeweling on this side and that,
the curved wave is stirred by a pebble,
with all nuisances kept far away,
may you pierce the frost with a black third-measure,              5
your brow red with stitched garlands;
thus let there be for you one boy, a catamite,
and let the most chaste girl tingle with desire:
I warn and I beg you, Flaccus, keep watch on
disreputable Cyprus for its excessive heat,              10
when the creaking threshing-floor shall thresh the harvests
and the burning mane of the Lion shall rage.
But do you, goddess of Paphos, send back,
send back the youth unharmed to our vows.
so may the Kalends of Mars be in your service.              15

et cum ture meroque victimaque
libetur tibi candidas ad aras
secta plurima quadra de placenta.

and when with incense and pure wine and a victim
let there be libation to you at the white altars,
very many square pieces cut from a cake.

XCI

Ad cenam si me diversa vocaret in astra
       hinc invitator Caesaris, inde Iovis,
astra licet propius, Palatia longius essent,
       responsa ad superos haec referenda darem:
'Quaerite qui malit fieri conviva Tonantis:              5
       me meus in terris Iuppiter ecce tenet.'

If to dinner different stars were calling me,
       on this side the inviter of Caesar, on that of Jove,
even if the stars were nearer, and the Palatia farther away,
       I would give these replies to be reported to the gods above:
'Look for someone who would prefer to become a dinner-guest of the Thunderer;              5
       behold, my own Jupiter holds me on earth.'

XCII

Quae mala sunt domini, quae servi commoda, nescis,
       Condyle, qui servum te gemis esse diu.
dat tibi securos vilis tegeticula somnos,
       pervigil in pluma Gaius ecce iacet.
Gaius a prima tremebundus luce salutat              5
       tot dominos, at tu, Condyle, nec dominum.

You do not know what are the evils of a master, what the benefits of a slave,
       Condyle, you who groan that you have been a slave so long.
a cheap little mat gives you carefree sleeps,
       behold Gaius lies sleepless on a featherbed.
Gaius, trembling, from first light salutes              5
       so many masters; but you, Condyle, not even a master.

'Quod debes, Gai, redde' inquit Phoebus et illinc
       Cinnamus: hoc dicit, Condyle, nemo tibi.
tortorem metuis? podagra cheragraque secatur
       Gaius et mallet verbera mille pati.              10
quod nec mane vomis nec cunnum, Condyle, lingis,
       non mavis quam ter Gaius esse tuus?

'Pay what you owe, Gaius,' says Phoebus, and from over there
       Cinnamus: no one says this, Condyle, to you.
do you fear the torturer? Gaius is cut for podagra and chiragra,
       and would rather suffer a thousand lashes.              10
because you neither vomit in the morning nor lick a cunt, Condyle,
       do you not prefer rather to be your own Gaius three times over?

XCIII

Addere quid cessas, puer, inmortale Falernum?
quadrantem duplica de seniore cado.
nunc mihi dic, quis erit cui te, Calacisse, deorum
Sex iubeo cyathos fundere?

Why do you delay to add, boy, the immortal Falernian?
Double the quarter from the elder cask.
Now tell me, which of the gods will it be, Calacissus, for whom
I order you to pour six cyathi?

'Caesar erit.'
Sutilis aptetur deciens rosa crinibus, ut sit              5
       qui posuit sacrae nobile gentis opus.
nunc bis quina mihi da basia, fiat ut illud
       nomen ab Odrysio quod deus orbe tulit.

'It will be Caesar.'
Let a stitched-together rose be fitted tenfold to the hair, so that he be              5
       the one who set in place the noble work of the sacred race.
now give me twice five kisses, so that it may become that
       name which a god bore from the Odrysian world.

XCIV

Santonica medicata dedit mihi pocula virga:
       os hominis mulsum me rogat Hippocrates.
tam stupidus numquam nec tu, puto, Glauce, fuisti,
       x£lkea donanti xrúsea qui dederas.
dulce aliquis munus pro munere poscit amaro?              5
       accipiat, sed si potat in elleboro.

A Santonian medicated sprig gave me draughts:
       Hippocrates asks me for a honeyed kiss.
never so stupid were you, I think, Glaucus,
       you who gave golden to one offering bronze.
does someone ask a sweet gift in return for a bitter gift?              5
       let him accept it—if only he drinks hellebore.

XCV

Alphius ante fuit, coepit nunc Olphius esse,
uxorem postquam duxit Athenagoras.

Alphius was before; he has now begun to be Olphius,
after Athenagoras took a wife.

XCVb

95b

       si scio, dispeream, qui sit Athenagoras.
sed puta me verum, Callistrate, dicere nomen:              5
       non ego sed vester peccat Athenagoras.

Do you believe, Callistrate, the name of Athenagoras to be true.
       May I perish if I know who Athenagoras is.
But suppose that I speak the true name, Callistrate:              5
       it is not I who errs, but your Athenagoras does.

XCVI

Clinicus Herodes trullam subduxerat aegro:
deprensus dixit 'Stulte, quid ergo bibis?'

Clinician Herodes had filched a ladle from a sick man:
caught, he said, 'Fool, what are you drinking, then?'

XCVII

Rumpitur invidia quidam, carissime Iuli,
       quod me Roma legit, rumpitur invidia.
rumpitur invidia quod turba semper in omni
       monstramur digito, rumpitur invidia.
rumpitur invidia tribuit quod Caesar uterque              5
       ius mihi natorum, rumpitur invidia.

Someone bursts with envy, dearest Julius,
       that Rome reads me—he bursts with envy.
he bursts with envy that in every crowd always
       we are pointed out with the finger—he bursts with envy.
he bursts with envy that each Caesar granted to me the right of children              5
       he bursts with envy.

rumpitur invidia quod rus mihi dulce sub urbe est
       parvaque in urbe domus, rumpitur invidia.
rumpitur invidia quod sum iucundus amicis,
       quod conviva frequens, rumpitur invidia.              10
rumpitur invidia quod amamur quodque probamur:
       rumpatur quisquis rumpitur invidia.

he bursts with envy that I have a sweet country-place near the city
       and a small house in the city, he bursts with envy.
he bursts with envy that I am agreeable to my friends,
       that I am a frequent table-companion, he bursts with envy.              10
he bursts with envy that we are loved and that we are approved:
       let burst whoever bursts with envy.

XCVIII

Vindemiarum non ubique proventus
cessavit, Ovidi; pluvia profuit grandis.
centum Coranus amphoras aquae fecit.

The yield of the vintages did not cease everywhere, Ovid; a great rain was beneficial.
Coranus made a hundred amphoras of water.

XCIX

Marcus amat nostras Antonius, Attice, Musas,
       charta salutatrix si modo vera refert:
Marcus Palladiae non infitianda Tolosae
       gloria, quem genuit Pacis alumna Quies
tu qui longa potes dispendia ferre viarum,              5
       i, liber, absentis pignus amicitiae.
vilis eras, fateor, si te nunc mitteret emptor;
       grande tui pretium muneris auctor erit:
multum, crede mihi, refert a fonte bibatur
       quae fluit an pigro quae stupet unda lacu.              10

Marcus Antonius loves our Muses, Atticus,
       if only the salutatory paper reports true:
Marcus, the not-to-be-denied glory of Palladian Toulouse,
       whom Rest, the nursling of Peace, begot—
you who can bear the long expenditures of journeys,              5
       go, book, a pledge of absent friendship.
you would be cheap, I confess, if a purchaser were now sending you;
       the giver—your author—will be the great price of your gift:
it matters much, believe me, whether what is drunk is from the spring
       water that flows, or a wave that is stupefied in a sluggish lake.              10

100

       observare iubes atria, Basse, tua,
deinde haerere tuo Iateri, praecedere sellam,
       ad viduas tecum plus minus ire decem.
Trita quidem nobis togula est vilisque vetusque:              5
       denaris tamen hanc non emo, Basse, tribus.

for three denarii you invite, and in the morning, a toga-wearer,
       you bid me to observe your atria, Bassus, your own,
then to cling to your side, to go before the chair,
       to go with you to about ten widows more or less.
Our little toga is indeed worn, cheap, and old:              5
       yet I do not buy this, Bassus, for three denarii.

101

Appia, quam simili venerandus in Hercule Caesar
       consecrat, Ausoniae maxima fama viae,
si cupis Alcidae cognoscere facta prioris,
       disce: Libyn domuit raraque poma tulit,
peltatam Scythico discinxit Amazona nodo,              5
       addidit Arcadio terga leonis apro,
aeripedem silvis cervum, Stymphalidas astris
       abstulit, a Stygia cum cane venit aqua,
fecundam vetuit reparari mortibus hydram,
       Hesperias Tusco lavit in amne boves.              10
Haec minor Alcides: maior quae gesserit audi,
       sextus ab Albana quem colit arce lapis.
adseruit possessa malis Palatia regnis,
       prima suo gessit pro Iove bella puer;
solus Iuleas cum iam retineret habenas,              15

Appia, which the revered Caesar consecrates as in a like Hercules,
       the road of Ausonia of the greatest renown,
if you desire to learn the deeds of the earlier Alcides,
       learn: he subdued Libya and brought the rare apples,
he ungirded the shield-bearing Amazon from her Scythian knot,              5
       he added the lion’s hide to the Arcadian boar,
the bronze-footed deer in the woods, the Stymphalides from the skies
       he took away, and he came from Stygian water with the dog,
he forbade the fertile Hydra to be renewed by deaths,
       he washed the Hesperian cattle in the Tuscan river.              10
This is the lesser Alcides: hear what the greater has achieved,
       whom the sixth stone from the Alban citadel venerates.
he asserted the Palatine, possessed by evil kingdoms,
       as a boy he waged his first wars for his own Jove;
when alone he was already holding the Julian reins,              15

       tradidit inque suo tertius orbe fuit;
cornua Sarmatici ter perfida contudit Histri,
       sudantem Getica ter nive lavit equum;
saepe recusatos parcus duxisse triumphos
       victor Hyperboreo nomen ab orbe tulit;              20
templa deis, mores populis dedit, otia ferro,
       astra suis, caelo sidera, serta Iovi.
Herculeum tantis numen non sufficit actis:
       Tarpeio deus hic commodet ora patri.

       he handed them over, and in his own orb was the third;
the treacherous horns of the Sarmatic Hister he thrice crushed,
       he thrice bathed his sweating horse in Getic snow;
sparing, to lead triumphs he had often refused,
       as victor he bore a name from the Hyperborean world;              20
he gave temples to the gods, morals to peoples, leisure to iron,
       stars to his own, stars to the sky, garlands to Jove.
The Herculean numen does not suffice for such deeds:
       let this god lend his features to the Tarpeian father.

CII

102

Quadringentorum reddis mihi, Phoebe, tabellas:
centum da potius mutua, Phoebe, mihi.
quaere alium cui te tam vano munere iactes
quod tibi non possum solvere, Phoebe, meum est.

You hand me, Phoebus, tablets for 400:
rather lend me 100, Phoebus.
seek someone else on whom to vaunt yourself with so vain a gift
what I cannot discharge to you, Phoebus, is mine.

CIII

103

Quae nova tam similis genuitibi Leda ministros?
quae capta est alio nuda Lacaena cycno?
dat faciem Pollux Hiero, dat Castor Asylo,
atque in utroque nitet Tyndaris ore soror.

What new Leda has borne for you attendants so similar?
what Laconian woman, naked, was captured by another swan?
Pollux gives his face to Hiero, Castor gives to Asylus,
and in both countenances the Tyndarid sister shines.

ista Therapnaeis si forma fuisset Amyclis,              5
       cum vicere duas dona minora deas,
mansisses, Helene, Phrygiamque redisset in Iden
       Dardanius gemino cum Ganymede Paris.

if that beauty had been in Therapnaean Amyclae,              5
       when the two goddesses, with lesser gifts, were conquered,
you would have stayed, Helen, and Dardanian Paris would have returned to Phrygian Ida
       with a double Ganymede.