Plautus: Poenulus

AGORASTOCLES ADULESCENS
MILPHIO SERVVS
ADELPHASIVM PUELLA
ANTERASTILIS PUELLA
LYCVS LENO
ANTAMONIDES MILES
ADVOCATI
COLLYBISCVS VILICVS
SYNCERASTVS SERVVS
HANNO POENVS
GIDDENIS NUTRIX
PVER

AGORASTOCLES THE YOUNG MAN
MILPHIO THE SLAVE
ADELPHASIUМ THE GIRL
ANTERASTILIS THE GIRL
LYCVS THE PIMP
ANTAMONIDES THE SOLDIER
ADVOCATES
COLLYBISCVS THE STEWARD
SYNCERASTVS THE SLAVE
HANNO THE CARTHAGINIAN
GIDDENIS THE NURSE
THE BOY

ARGVMENTVM

ARGUMENT

Puer septuennis surripitur Carthagine.
Osor mulierum emptum adoptat hunc senex
Et facit heredem. deinde eius cognatae duae
Nutrixque earum raptae.

P A seven-year-old boy is snatched away at Carthage.
O A hater of women, an old man, adopts this one as bought
E and makes him heir. then his two kinswomen
N and their nurse are abducted.

mercatur Lycus,
Vexatque amantem. at ille cum auro vilicum
Lenoni obtrudit, itaque eum furto alligat.
Venit Hanno Poenus, gnatum hunc fratris repperit
Suasque adgnoscit quas perdiderat filias.

Lycus buys,
Vexes the lover as well. but he, with gold, the overseer
Leaning on it, foists upon the pimp, and thus he binds him by theft.
Ventures in Hanno the Punic, he discovers this one to be his brother’s son
Sees and recognizes his own daughters whom he had lost.

PROLOGVS

PROLOGUE

Achillem Aristarchi mihi commentari lubet:
inde mihi principium capiam, ex ea tragoedia.
'sileteque et tacete atque animum advortite,
audire iubet vos imperator' — histricus,
bonoque ut animo sedeate in subselliis, 5
et qui esurientes et qui saturi venerint:
qui edistis, multo fecistis sapientius,
qui non edistis, saturi fite fabulis;
nam cui paratumst quod edit, nostra gratia
nimia est stultitia sessum impransum incedere. 10
Exsurge, praeco, fac populo audientiam;
iam dudum exspecto, si tuom officium scias:
exerce vocem, quam per vivisque et ~ colis.
nam nisi clamabis, tacitum te obrepet fames.

I am pleased to comment on the Achilles of Aristarchus:
thence I shall take my beginning, from that tragedy.
‘be silent and hush and turn your mind,
the commander bids you to listen’ — the histrion,
and sit with good spirit on the benches, 5
both those who have come hungry and those who are satiated:
you who have eaten have done much more sapiently,
you who have not eaten, be satiated by fables;
for he for whom there is something prepared to eat, on our account
it is excessive stupidity to go to sit down fasting. 10
Rise, crier, make the people give audience;
I have long been waiting to see whether you know your duty:
exercise your voice, which you cultivate through the streets and hills.
for unless you shout, hunger will creep upon you silently.

age nunc reside, duplicem ut mercedem feras.     15
* * *                                                                    15a
Bonum factum esse, edicta ut servetis mea.
scortum exoletum ne quis in proscaenio
sedeat, neu lictor verbum aut virgae muttiant,
neu dissignator praeter os obambulet
neu sessum ducat, dum histrio in scaena siet.    20
diu qui domi otiosi dormierunt, decet
animo aequo nunc stent, vel dormire temperent.
servi ne obsideant, liberis ut sit locus,
vel aes pro capite dent; si id facere non queunt,
domum abeant, vitent ancipiti infortunio,          25
ne et hic varientur virgis et loris domi,
si minus curassint, quom eri reveniant domum.

come now, sit back down, so that you may carry off double pay.     15
* * *                                                                    15a
A good deed it will be, if you observe my edicts.
let no worn-out harlot sit in the proscenium,
nor let a lictor mutter a word, nor the rods make a murmur,
nor let the seat-assigner walk to and fro past one’s face,
nor conduct anyone to a seat, while the actor is on the stage.    20
those who have long slept idle at home, it is fitting
that now they stand with a calm mind, or refrain from sleeping.
let slaves not blockade, so that there may be room for the freeborn,
or let them give copper per head; if they are not able to do that,
let them go home, let them avoid a two-edged misfortune,          25
lest both here they be variegated by rods and at home by thongs,
if they have not taken care, when the masters return home.

nutrices pueros infantis minutulos
domi ut procurent neu quae spectatum adferat,
ne et ipsae sitiant et pueri pereant fame             30
neve esurientes hic quasi haedi obvagiant.
matronae tacitae spectent, tacitae rideant,
canora hic voce sua tinnire temperent,
domum sermones fabulandi conferant,
ne et hic viris sint et domi molestiae.            35
Quodque ad ludorum curatores attinet,
ne palma detur quoiquam artifici iniuria
neve ambitionis causa extrudantur foras,
quo deteriores anteponantur bonis.
et hoc quoque etiam, quod paene oblitus fui:    40
dum ludi fiunt, in popinam, pedisequi,
inruptionem facite; nunc dum occasio est,
nunc dum scriblitae aestuant, occurrite.

let the nurses take care of the wee infant children at home, and let none bring any to watch,
lest they themselves go thirsty and the boys perish from hunger             30
nor let them, hungry, here bay like kid-goats. Let matrons watch silent, laugh silent,
let them restrain from ringing here with their tuneful voice,
let them carry their conversations for storytelling home,
lest they be a nuisance to the men both here and at home.            35
And as concerns the curators of the games,
let not the palm be given unjustly to any artist,
nor, for the sake of canvassing, let people be shoved out,
whereby the worse are put before the good. And this also too, which I nearly forgot:    40
while the games are going on, into the cookshop, footmen,
make an inrush; now while there is occasion,
now while the cheesecakes are seething, run up.

Haec quae imperata sunt pro imperio histrico,
bonum hercle factum pro se quisque ut meminerit. 45
Ad argumentum nunc vicissatim volo
remigrare, ut aeque mecum sitis gnarures.
eius nunc regiones, limites, confinia
determinabo: ei rei ego finitor factus sum.
sed nisi molestumst, nomen dare vobis volo 50
comoediai; sin odiost, dicam tamen,
siquidem licebit per illos quibus est in manu.

These things which have been commanded by the histrionic imperium,
by Hercules, it is a good deed that each remember for himself. 45
To the argument now in turn I wish to remigrate,
so that you may be equally knowing with me.
its regions, limits, confines I will now determine: for that matter I have been made the finitor.
but unless it is troublesome, I wish to give you the name of the comedy; 50
but if it is hateful, I will say it nevertheless,
if indeed it shall be permitted by those in whose hand it is.

Carchedonius vocatur haec comoedia,
* * * 53a
latine Plautus Patruus Pultiphagonides.
nomen iam habetis. nunc rationes ceteras
accipite; nam argumentum hoc hic censebitur:
locus argumentost suom sibi proscaenium,
vos iuratores estis.

This comedy is called Carthaginian,
* * * 53a
in Latin, Plautus’s “Uncle Pultiphagonides.”
you already have the name. now receive the other reasons;
for the plot will here be adjudged thus:
the place of the plot is the proscenium itself,
you are the jurors.

quaeso, operam date.
Carthaginienses fratres patrueles duo
fuere, summo genere et summis ditiis; 60
eorum alter vivit, alter est emortuos.
propterea apud vos dico confidentius,
quia mihi pollictor dixit qui eum pollinxerat.

I beg, give attention.
Two cousin-brothers, Carthaginians,
were, of the highest lineage and the highest riches; 60
of them one lives, the other is deceased.
Therefore I speak more confidently before you,
because the undertaker told me, the one who had prepared him.

sed illi seni qui mortuost, <ei> filius,
unicus qui fuerat, ab divitiis a patre 65
puer septuennis surripitur Carthagine,
sexennio prius quidem quam moritur pater.
Quoniam periisse sibi videt gnatum unicum,
conicitur ipse in morbum ex aegritudine:
facit illum heredem fratrem patruelem suom, 70
ipse abit ad Acheruntem sine viatico.
ille qui surripuit puerum Calydonem avehit,
vendit eum domino hic diviti quoidam seni,
cupienti liberorum, osori mulierum.

but for that old man who is dead, <ei> his son,
his only one that he had, from his father’s wealth 65
a seven-year-old boy, is surreptitiously stolen at Carthage,
indeed six years before the father dies.
Since he sees that his only son has perished for him,
he himself is cast into illness from grief:
he makes that paternal cousin of his his heir, 70
he himself goes away to Acheron without viatic provision.
the one who stole the boy carries him off to Calydon,
sells him to a certain rich old master here,
desirous of children, a hater of women.

emit hospitalem is filium imprudens senex 75
puerum illum eumque adoptat sibi pro filio
eumque heredem fecit, quom ipse obiit diem.
is illic adulescens habitat in illisce aedibus.
Revertor rursus denuo Carthaginem:
si quid mandare voltis aut curarier, 80
argentum nisi qui dederit, nugas egerit;
[verum] qui dederit, magis maiores nugas egerit.

the unwitting old man buys that boy as a guest-son 75
that boy, and adopts him for himself as a son
and made him heir, when he himself met his day.
that adolescent lives there in that house.
I return back anew to Carthage:
if you want anything to be commissioned or taken care of, 80
unless someone has given silver, he will have done nonsense;
[but] he who has given will have done even greater nonsense.

Sed illi patruo huius, qui vivit senex,
Carthaginiensi duae fuere filiae,
altera quinquennis, altera quadrimula: 85
cum nutrice una periere a Magaribus.
eas qui surripuit, in Anactorium devehit,
vendit eas omnis, et nutricem et virgines,
praesenti argento homini, si leno est homo,
quantum hominum terra sustinet sacerrumo. 90
vosmet nunc facite coniecturam ceterum,
quid id sit hominis, cui Lyco nomen siet.
is ex Anactorio, ubi prius habitaverat,
huc commigravit in Calydonem hau diu,
sui quaesti causa.

But this man’s paternal uncle, who lives, an old man,
a Carthaginian, had two daughters,
one five years old, the other a little four-year-old: 85
together with a nurse they vanished from the Magarae.
he who snatched them away conveys them to Anactorium,
sells them all, both the nurse and the virgins,
for ready silver to a man—if a pimp is a man—
the most accursed of all the men the earth supports. 90
you yourselves now make the rest of the conjecture,
what sort of man it is whose name is Lyco.
he from Anactorium, where he had previously lived,
moved here into Calydon not long ago,
for the sake of his own gain.

is in illis habitat aedibus.          95
Earum hic adulescens alteram efflictim perit,
suam sibi cognatam, imprudens, neque scit quae siet
neque eam umquam tetigit, ita eum leno macerat:
[neque quicquam cum ea fecit etiamnum stupri
neque duxit umquam, neque ille voluit mittere]       100
quia amare cernit, tangere hominem volt bolo.
illam minorem in concubinatum sibi
volt emere miles quidam, qui illam deperit.
Sed pater illarum Poenus, postquam eas perdidit,
mari te<rraque> usquequaque quaeritat.                105
ubi quamque in urbem est ingressus, ilico
omnes meretrices, ubi quisque habitant, invenit;
dat aurum, ducit noctem, rogitat postibi
unde sit, quoiatis, captane an surrupta sit,
quo genere gnata, qui parentes fuerint.              110
ita docte atque astu filias quaerit suas.

he inhabits those houses.          95
This adolescent is dying desperately for one of them,
his own kinswoman, unwitting, nor does he know who she may be,
nor has he ever touched her, so the leno torments him thus:
[and he has not yet done anything of debauchery with her,
nor has he ever taken her in marriage, nor did that fellow wish to let her go]       100
because he perceives he is in love; he wants to touch the man for profit.
that younger one a certain soldier wants to purchase for concubinage for himself,
who is madly in love with her. But the girls’ father, a Carthaginian, after he lost them,
searches everywhere by sea and by la<nd>.              105
whenever he has entered any city, straightway
he discovers all the meretrices, where each of them lives;
he gives gold, passes the night, afterwards he asks
whence she is, of what community, whether she was captured or stolen,
of what genus born, who her parents were.              110
thus skillfully and astutely he seeks his own daughters.

et is omnis linguas scit, sed dissimulat sciens
se scire: Poenus plane est. quid verbis opust?
Is heri huc in portum navi venit vesperi,
pater harunc; idem huic patruos adulescentulo est: 115
iamne hoc tenetis?

and he knows all tongues, but he feigns, though knowing, that he knows: he is plainly a Punic. What need is there of words? He yesterday came here into the harbor by ship in the evening, the father of these; the same is uncle to this adolescent: 115
do you grasp this now?

si tenetis, ducite;
cave dirumpatis, quaeso, sinite transigi.
ehem, paene oblitus sum relicuom dicere.
ille qui adoptavit hunc sibi pro filio,
is illi Poeno huius patruo hospes fuit. 120
is hodie huc veniet reperietque hic filias
et hunc sui fratris filium, ut quidem didici ego.

if you grasp it, draw it out;
mind you don’t tear it apart, please; allow it to be carried through.
ahem, I almost forgot to say the rest.
the one who adopted this young man to himself as a son,
was guest-friend to that Carthaginian, this one’s uncle. 120
he today will come here and will find here his daughters
and this son of his brother, as indeed I have learned.

Ego ibo, ornabor; vos aequo animo noscite.
hic qui hodie veniet, reperiet suas filias
et hunc sui fratris filium. dehinc ceterum 125
valete, adeste.

I will go, I will be adorned; you, know with an even mind.
The man who will come today will find his daughters
and this son of his brother. then for the rest 125
farewell, be present.

ibo, alius nunc fieri volo:
quod restat, restant alii qui faciant palam.
valete atque adiuvate, ut vos servet Salus.

I will go; now I wish to become another:
as for what remains, there are others who will make it plain.
Farewell and help, so that Salus may preserve you.

ACTVS I

ACT 1

I.i
AGORASTOCLES Saepe ego res multas tibi mandavi, Milphio,
dubias, egenas, inopiosas consili, 130
quas tu sapienter, docte et cordate et cate
mihi reddidisti opiparas opera tua.
quibus pro bene factis fateor deberi tibi
et libertatem et multas grates gratias.
MILPHIO Scitumst, per tempus si obviamst, verbum vetus. 135
nam tuae blanditiae mihi sunt, quod dici solet,
gerrae germanae, sai de lollurai lurai.

1.1
AGORASTOCLES Often I have entrusted many matters to you, Milphio,
dubious, needy, destitute of counsel, 130
which you, wisely, learnedly, with good heart and cleverly,
have rendered to me in sumptuous fashion by your services.
for which well-done deeds I confess that there is owed to you
both liberty and many grateful thanks.
MILPHIO It’s a knowing thing, if one meets it in season—an old proverb. 135
for your blandishments are to me, as the saying goes,
genuine drivel, sai de lollurai lurai.

nunc mihi blandidicus es: heri in tergo meo
tris facile corios contrivisti bubulos.
AGOR. Amans per amorem si quid feci, Milphio, 140
ignoscere id te mi aequom est. MIL. Haud vidi magis.

now you’re a smooth-talker to me: yesterday on my back
you easily wore out three bull-hides.
AGOR. If, as a lover, out of love I did anything, Milphio, 140
it is equitable that you pardon me. MIL. I never saw anything more so.

em, nunc ego amore pereo. sine te verberem,
item ut tu mihi fecisti, ob nullam noxiam:
post id locorum tu mihi amanti ignoscito.
AGOR. Si tibi lubido est aut voluptati, sino: 145
suspende, vinci, verbera; auctor sum, sino.

There—now I am perishing from love. Allow me to flog you,
just as you did to me, for no fault at all:
after that time do you pardon me, being in love.
AGOR. If it is your libido or for your voluptuous pleasure, I allow it: 145
hang up, bind, scourge; I am the author, I allow it.

MIL. Si auctoritatem postea defugeris,
ubi dissolutus tu sies, ego pendeam.
AGOR. Egone istuc ausim facere, praesertim tibi?
quin si feriri video te, extemplo dolet. 150
MIL. Mihi quidem hercle.

MIL. If you should afterward shirk your authorization, when you are loosed, may I hang.
AGOR. I—would I dare do that, especially to you? Why, if I see you being struck, it hurts at once. 150
MIL. For me indeed, by Hercules.

AG. Immo mihi. MIL. Istuc mavelim.
sed quid nunc tibi vis?

AG. No, to me. MIL. I’d prefer that.
But what do you want now?

AGOR. Cur ego apud te mentiar?
amo immodeste. MIL. Meae istuc scapulae sentiunt.

AGOR. Why should I lie to you?
I love immoderately. MIL. My shoulder-blades feel that.

AGOR. At ego hanc vicinam dico Adelphasium meam,
lenonis huius meretricem maiusculam. 155
MIL. Iam pridem equidem istuc ex te audivi. AGOR. Differor
cupidine eius. sed lenone istoc Lyco,
illius domino, non lutumst lutulentius.

AGOR. But I mean this neighbor of mine, my Adelphasium,
the rather-grown courtesan of this leno. 155
MIL. Long since indeed I heard that from you. AGOR. I am torn apart
by desire for her. But than that Lycus there, the leno,
her master, no mud is muddier.

MIL. Vin tu illi nequam dare nunc? AGOR. Cupio. MIL. Em me dato.

MIL. Do you want to give him a good-for-nothing now? AGOR. I desire to. MIL. Here—hand me over.

AGOR. Abi dierectus. MIL. Dic mihi vero serio: 160
vin dare malum illi? AGOR. Cupio.

AGOR. Be off—go hang yourself. MIL. Tell me truly, in earnest: 160
do you want to give him a beating? AGOR. I do.

MIL. Em, eundem me dato:
utrumque faxo habebit, et nequam et malum.
AGOR. Iocare. MIL. Vin tu illam hodie sine [damno et] dispendio
tuo tuam libertam facere?

MIL. Here, give me again:
I’ll make sure he has both, both the “no-good” and the beating.
AGOR. You’re joking. MIL. Do you want today, without [damage and] expense
to yourself, to make her your freedwoman?

AGOR. Cupio, Milphio.
MIL. Ego faciam ut facias. sunt tibi intus aurei 165
trecenti nummi Philippi?

AGOR. I desire it, Milphio.
MIL. I will make it that you do it. Have you inside gold 165
three hundred coins of Philip?

AGOR. Sescenti quoque.
MIL. Satis sunt trecenti. AGOR. Quid iis facturu's? MIL. Tace.

AGOR. Six hundred too.
MIL. Three hundred suffice. AGOR. What are you going to do with them? MIL. Hush.

totum lenonem tibi cum tota familia
dabo hodie dono. AGOR. Qui id facturu's? MIL. Iam scies.
tuos Collybiscus nunc in urbest vilicus; 170
eum hic non novit leno.

I’ll give you the whole pimp with his whole family today as a gift. AGOR. How are you going to do that? MIL. You’ll know soon.
your Collybiscus is now in the city, the bailiff; 170
the pimp here does not know him.

satin intellegis?
AGOR. Intellego hercle, sed quo evadas nescio.
MIL. Non scis?

do you understand well enough?
AGOR. I understand, by Hercules, but what you are driving at I do not know.
MIL. You do not know?

AGOR. Non hercle. MIL. At ego iam faxo scies.
ei dabitur aurum, ut ad lenonem deferat
dicatque se peregrinum esse, ex alio oppido: 175
se amare velle atque obsequi animo suo;
locum sibi velle liberum praeberier,
ubi nequam faciat clam, ne quis sit arbiter.

AGOR. No, by Hercules. MIL. But I’ll soon make you know.
Gold will be given to him, so that he may carry it to the pimp,
and say that he is a peregrine, from another town: 175
that he wants to love and to comply with his own inclination;
that he wants a free place to be provided for himself,
where he may do knavery secretly, so that there be no arbiter.

leno ad se accipiet auri cupidus ilico:
celabit hominem et aurum. AGOR. Consilium placet. 180
MIL. Rogato, servos veneritne ad eum tuos.
ille me censebit quaeri: continuo tibi
negabit.

the pimp, avid for gold, will take him in to himself on the spot:
he will conceal the man and the gold. AGOR. The plan pleases. 180
MIL. Ask whether your slaves have come to him.
he will suppose that I am being sought: straightway he will deny it to you.

quid tu dubitas, quin extempulo
dupli tibi auri et hominis fur leno siet?
neque id unde efficiat habet: ubi in ius venerit, 185
addicet praetor familiam totam tibi.
ita decipiemus fovea lenonem Lycum.

why do you hesitate that, straightway,
the pimp-thief will be liable to you for double damages, for the gold and the man?
nor has he the means to effect that: when he comes into court, 185
the praetor will adjudge the whole household to you.
thus we will deceive the pimp Lycus with a pitfall.

AGOR. Placet consilium. MIL. Immo etiam, ubi expolivero,
magis hoc tum demum dices: nunc etiam rudest.
AGOR. Ego in aedem Veneris eo, nisi quid vis, Milphio. 190
Aphrodisia hodie sunt.

AGOR. The plan pleases. MIL. Nay rather, when I have polished it up,
then at last you will say this all the more: now it is still rude.
AGOR. I am going to the temple of Venus, unless you want anything, Milphio. 190
The Aphrodisia are today.

MIL. Scio. AGOR. Oculos volo
meos delectare munditiis meretriciis.
MIL. Hoc primum agamus quod consilium cepimus.

MIL. I know. AGOR. I want
to delight my eyes with meretricious refinements.
MIL. Let us first carry out the plan we have conceived.

abeamus intro, ut Collybiscum vilicum
hanc perdoceamus ut ferat fallaciam. 195
AGOR. Quamquam Cupido in corde vorsatur, tamen
tibi auscultabo.— MIL. Faciam ut facto gaudeas.
inest amoris macula huic homini in pectore,
sine damno magno quae elui ne utiquam potest.
itaque hic scelestus est homo leno Lycus, 200
quoi iam infortuni intenta ballistast probe,
quam ego haud multo post mittam e ballistario.

let us go inside, so that we may thoroughly teach Collybiscus the bailiff
to carry off this trick. 195
AGOR. Although Cupid is whirling in my heart, nevertheless
I will listen to you.— MIL. I will make it so that you rejoice at the deed.
there is a blot of love in this man’s breast,
which by no means can be washed out without great loss.
therefore this wicked fellow is the pimp Lycus, 200
against whom the ballista of misfortune is already well aimed,
which I will soon let fly from the ballista-stand.

sed Adelphasium eccam exit atque Anterastilis.
haec est prior, quae meum erum dementem facit.
sed evocabo.

But look—Adelphasium comes out, and Anterastilis.
This is the former, who makes my master demented.
But I will call her out.

heus, i foras, Agorastocles, 205
si vis videre ludos iucundissimos.
AGORASTOCLES Quid istuc tumultist, Milphio? MIL. Em amores tuos,
si vis spectare.

hey, go outside, Agorastocles, 205
if you want to see the most pleasant games.
AGORASTOCLES What is that commotion, Milphio? MIL. Look—your loves,
if you want to watch.

AGOR. O multa tibi di dent bona,
quom hoc mi optulisti tam lepidum spectaculum.

AGOR. O may the gods grant many good things to you,
since you have offered me this so charming spectacle.

I.ii
ADELPHASIVM Negoti sibi qui volet vim parare,     210
navem et mulierem, haec duo comparato.
nam nullae magis res duae plus negoti
habent, forte si occeperis exornare,
[neque umquam satis hae duae res ornantur]
neque eis ulla ornandi satis satietas est.                  215
atque haec, ut loquor, nunc domo docta dico.
nam nos usque ab aurora ad hoc quod diei est,
[postquam aurora inluxit, numquam concessamus]
ex industria ambae numquam concessamus
lavari aut fricari aut tergeri aut ornari,                    220
poliri expoliri, pingi fingi; et una
binae singulis quae datae nobis ancillae,
eae nos lavando eluendo operam dederunt,
aggerundaque aqua sunt viri duo defessi.

1.2
ADELPHASIVM Whoever will wish to prepare for himself a load of business, 210
get a ship and a woman—procure these two.
for no two things have more business,
if by chance you begin to outfit/adorn them,
[nor are these two things ever adorned enough]
nor is there any sufficiency of satiety in adorning for them. 215
and this, as I speak, I now say taught at home.
for we from dawn for as much of the day as there is,
[after dawn has shone in, we have never paused]
by set purpose we two have never ceased
to be washed or scrubbed or wiped or adorned, 220
to be polished, repolished, painted, shaped; and together
the two maidservants that were given to each of us,
they have given their effort to washing and rinsing us,
and two men are worn out with carrying water.

apage sis, negoti quantum in muliere una est. 225
sed vero duae, sat scio, maxumo uni
poplo cuilubet plus satis dare potis sunt,
quae noctes diesque omni in aetate semper
ornantur, lavantur, tergentur, poliuntur.
postremo modus muliebris nullust: numquam 230
lavando et fricando scimus facere finem.
[nam quae lauta est nisi perculta est, meo quidem animo quasi inluta est.]
ANTERASTILIS Miror equidem, soror, te istaec sic fabulari,
quae tam callida et docta sis et faceta.

away, please—how much business there is in a single woman. 225
but in truth, two of them, I’m well sure, are able to give more than enough
to any one nation you please, who nights and days, at every age always,
are adorned, are washed, are wiped, are polished.
in fine, there is no measure to woman-ways: never 230
by washing and rubbing do we know how to make an end.
[for she who is bathed, unless she is over-polished, in my opinion is as if unwashed.]
ANTERASTILIS I do indeed marvel, sister, that you chatter thus,
you who are so shrewd and learned and witty.

nam quom sedulo munditer nos habemus, 235
vix aegreque amatorculos invenimus.
AD. Ita est. verum hoc unum tamen cogitato:
modus omnibus rebus, soror, optimus est habitu.

for when we keep ourselves sedulously and neatly, 235
we scarcely and with difficulty find little lovers.
AD. It is so. But consider this one thing, nevertheless:
measure in all things, sister, is best in attire.

nimia omnia nimium exhibent negoti hominibus ex se.
ANT. Soror, cogita, amabo, item nos perhiberi            240
quam si salsa muriatica esse autumantur:
[sine omni lepore et sine suavitate]
nisi multa aqua usque et diu macerantur,
olent, salsa sunt, tangere ut non velis.
item nos sumus                                           245
[eius seminis mulieres sunt]                        245a
insulsae admodum atque invenustae
sine munditia et sumptu.
MIL. Coqua est haec quidem, Agorastocles, ut ego opinor:
scit, muriatica ut maceret.

Excessive things, all of them, exhibit too much trouble for humans from themselves.
ANT. Sister, consider, please, that we too are reported            240
just as if they are supposed to be salted in muriatic brine:
[without any charm and without suavity]
unless they are soaked with much water continuously and for a long time,
they smell, they are salty, so that you would not wish to touch them.
likewise we are                                           245
[we are women of that seed]                        245a
very insipid and uncharming
without cleanliness and expense.
MIL. She’s a cook, this one indeed, Agorastocles, as I suppose:
she knows how to macerate in brine.

AGOR. Quid molestu's?
AD. Soror, parce, amabo: sat est istuc alios 250
dicere nobis, ne nosmet in nostra etiam vitia loquamur.
ANT. Quiesco. AD. Ergo amo te. sed hoc nunc responde
mihi: sunt hic omnia,
quae ad deum pacem oportet adesse?

AGOR. Why are you being troublesome?
AD. Sister, spare it, please: that is enough for others 250
to say to us, lest we ourselves speak even about our own vices.
ANT. I am quiet. AD. Then I love you. But answer me this now
for me: are all the things here
which ought to be present for peace with the god?

ANT. Omnia accuravi.
AGOR. Diem pulchrum et celebrem et venustatis plenum, 255
dignum Venere pol, quoi sunt Aphrodisia hodie.
MIL. Ecquid gratiae, quom huc foras te evocavi?

ANT. I have taken care of everything.
AGOR. A beautiful and celebrated day, and full of charm, 255
worthy of Venus, by Pollux, for whom the Aphrodisia are today.
MIL. Any thanks, when I called you out here?

iam num me decet donari
cado vini veteris? dic dare. nil respondes?

now then, does it befit me to be given as a gift
a jar of old wine? say give. you answer nothing?

lingua huic excidit, ut ego opinor. 260
quid hic, malum, astans opstipuisti? AGOR. Sine amem, ne opturba ac tace.
MIL. Taceo.

his tongue has fallen out, as I suppose. 260
why, what the devil, are you standing here gaping? AGOR. Let me love; don’t disturb, and be silent.
MIL. I am silent.

AGOR. Si tacuisses, iam istuc taceo non gnatum foret.
ANT. Eamus, mea soror. AD. Eho amabo, quid illo nunc properas?

AGOR. If you had kept quiet, that “I am silent” now would not have been born.
ANT. Let us go, my sister. AD. Hey, please, why are you now hurrying to that fellow?

ANT. Rogas?
quia erus nos apud aedem Veneris mantat. AD. Maneat pol.

ANT. You ask?
because the master is waiting for us at the temple of Venus. AD. Let him wait, by Pollux.

mane.
turba est nunc apud aram. an te ibi vis inter istas versarier 265
prosedas, pistorum amicas, reliquias alicarias,
miseras schoeno delibutas servolicolas sordidas,
quae tibi olant stabulum statumque, sellam et sessibulum merum,
quas adeo hau quisquam umquam liber tetigit neque duxit domum,
servolorum sordidulorum scorta diobolaria? 270
MIL. I in malam crucem.

wait.
there is a crowd now at the altar. Or do you want there to be turning yourself among those standers-out 265
the bakers’ girlfriends, alica-leftovers,
wretched, smeared with schoenus, sordid slave-haunters,
who for you reek of the stable and the stall, the chair and sheer sitting-place,
whom indeed no free man ever touched nor led home,
two-obol harlots of grubby little slaves? 270
MIL. Go to the evil cross.

tun audes etiam servos spernere,
propudium? quasi bella sit, quasi eampse reges ductitent,
monstrum mulieris, tantilla tanta verba funditat,
quoius ego nebulai cyatho septem noctes non emam.
AGOR. Di immortales omnipotentes, quid est apud vos pulchrius? 275
quid habetis qui mage immortales vos credam esse quam ego siem,
qui haec tanta oculis bona concipio?

do you then dare even to spurn slaves,
abomination? as if she were a beauty, as if kings themselves were leading her around,
a monster of a woman, so tiny and she pours forth such great words,
of whose nebula I would not buy a cup for seven nights. AGOR. Immortal omnipotent gods, what is among you more beautiful? 275
what have you, by which I should believe you to be more immortal than I am,
I who with my eyes conceive these so great good things?

nam Venus non est Venus:
hanc equidem Venerem venerabor, me ut amet posthac propitia.
Milphio, heus, ubi es? MIL. Assum apud te, eccum. AGOR. At ego elixus sis volo.

for Venus is not Venus:
this Venus indeed I will venerate, that she may love me hereafter propitious.
Milphio, hey, where are you? MIL. I’m roasted, here with you—look. AGOR. But I want you boiled.

MIL. Enim vero, ere, facis delicias. AGOR. De tequidem haec didici omnia. 280
MIL. Etiamne ut ames eam quam numquam tetigeris? AGOR. Nihil id quidemst:
deos quoque edepol et amo et metuo, quibus tamen abstineo manus.

MIL. Indeed, sir, you are indulging yourself. AGOR. From you indeed I have learned all these things. 280
MIL. Even so, that you love her whom you have never touched? AGOR. That indeed is nothing:
by Pollux, I both love and fear the gods too, from whom nevertheless I keep my hands off.

ANT. Eu ecastor, quom ornatum aspicio nostrum ambarum, paenitet
exornatae ut simus. AD. Immo vero sane commode;
nam pro erili et nostro quaestu satis bene ornatae sumus. 285
non enim potis est quaestus fieri, ni sumptus sequitur, scio,
et tamen quaestus non consistet, si eum sumptus superat, soror.
eo illud satiust, satis quod habitu, <haud satis est quod> plus quam sat est.

ANT. Ah, by Castor, when I look at our adornment, of the two of us, I regret that we are tricked out as we are.
AD. No indeed, quite suitably; for with respect to our mistress’s and our own profit we are dressed well enough. 285
for profit cannot be made, unless expense follows, I know,
and yet profit will not stand, if expense surpasses it, sister.
therefore this is preferable: that we have enough in attire; <it is not satisfactory when> there is more than enough.

AGOR. Ita me di ament, ut illa me amet malim quam di, Milphio.
nam illa mulier lapidem silicem subigere, ut se amet, potest. 290
MIL. Pol id quidem hau mentire, nam tu es lapide silice stultior,
qui hanc ames. AGOR. At vide sis, cum illac numquam limavi caput.

AGOR. So may the gods love me, I would rather that she love me than the gods, Milphio.
for that woman can subdue a flint-stone to love her. 290
MIL. By Pollux, in that you are not lying, for you are more foolish than a flint-stone, who love this woman. AGOR. But see, please, though I have never filed my head with her.

MIL. Curram igitur aliquo ad piscinam aut ad lacum, limum petam.
AGOR. Quid eo opust? MIL. Ego dicam: ut illi et tibi limem caput.

MIL. I’ll run then somewhere to the fishpond or to the lake, I’ll seek mud.
AGOR. What need is there of that? MIL. I’ll say: so that for her and for you I may file the head.

AGOR. I in malam rem. MIL. Ibi sum equidem. AGOR. Perdis.

AGOR. Go to perdition. MIL. There I am, indeed. AGOR. You destroy me.

MIL. 295
Taceo. AGOR. At perpetuo volo.
MIL. Enim vero, ere, meo me lacessis ludo et delicias facis.

MIL. 295
I am silent. AGOR. But I want you silent for good.
MIL. Indeed, truly, sir, you challenge me at my own game and make sport of me.

ANT. Satis nunc lepide ornatam credo, soror, te tibi viderier;
sed ubi exempla conferentur meretricum aliarum, ibi tibi
erit cordolium, si quam ornatam melius forte aspexeris.
AD. Invidia in me numquam innatast neque malitia, mea soror. 300
bono med esse ingenio ornatam quam auro multo mavolo:
aurum, id fortuna invenitur, natura ingenium bonum.
[bonam ego quam beatam me esse nimio dici mavolo.]
meretricem pudorem gerere magis decet quam purpuram:
[magisque meretricem pudorem quam aurum gerere condecet.] 305
pulchrum ornatum turpes mores peius caeno conlinunt,
lepidi mores turpem ornatum facile factis comprobant.

ANT. I believe, sister, that now you seem to yourself quite neatly adorned;
but when the exemplars of other meretrices are compared, then you
will have heartache, if by chance you have gazed on someone adorned better.
AD. Envy has never been inborn in me, nor malice, my sister. 300
I prefer to be adorned with a good ingenium than with much gold:
gold—that is found by fortune; a good natural disposition by nature.
[I far prefer to be said to be good rather than fortunate.]
it befits a courtesan to wear modesty rather than purple:
[and it befits a courtesan more to wear modesty than gold.] 305
base morals smear a beautiful ornament worse than mud,
charming morals by deeds readily make good a foul ornament.

AGOR. Eho tu, vin tu facinus facere lepidum et festivom? MIL. Volo.
AGOR. Potesne mi auscultare?

AGOR. Hey, you, do you want to do a charming and festive deed? MIL. I want to.
AGOR. Can you listen to me?

MIL. Possum. AGOR. Abi domum ac suspende te.
MIL. Quam ob rem? AGOR. Quia iam numquam audibis verba tot tam suavia. 310
quid tibi opust vixisse?

MIL. I can. AGOR. Go home and hang yourself.
MIL. For what reason? AGOR. Because now you will never hear so many so sweet words. 310
what need have you to have lived?

ausculta mihi modo ac suspende te.
MIL. Siquidem tu es mecum futurus pro uva passa pensilis.
AGOR. At ego amo hanc. MIL. At ego esse et bibere.

just listen to me now and hang yourself.
MIL. Provided that you’re going to be with me, hanging up in place of a raisin.
AGOR. But I love this woman. MIL. But I love to eat and to drink.

AD. Eho tu, quid ais?
ANT. Quid rogas?
AD. Viden tu? pleni oculi sorderum qui erant, iam splendent mihi.

AD. Hey, you, what do you say?
ANT. What do you ask?
AD. Do you see? the eyes that were full of filth are now shining for me.

ANT. Immo etiam in medio oculo paullum sordest. AD. Cedo sis dexteram. 315
AGOR. Vt quidem tu huius oculos inlutis manibus tractes aut teras?

ANT. Nay rather, there’s still a little dirt in the middle of the eye. AD. Hand over your right hand, please. 315
AGOR. What—so that you, with unwashed hands, handle or rub this man’s eyes?

ANT. Nimia nos socordia hodie tenuit. AD. Qua de re, obsecro?
ANT. Quia non iam dudum ante lucem ad aedem Veneris venimus,
primae ut inferremus ignem in aram.

ANT. Excessive torpor has held us today. AD. About what, I pray?
ANT. Because we did not long before dawn come to the temple of Venus,
that we, the first, might bring fire onto the altar.

AD. Aha, non factost opus:
quae habent nocturna ora, noctu sacruficatum ire occupant. 320
prius quam Venus expergiscatur, prius deproperant sedulo
sacruficare; nam vigilante Venere si veniant eae,
ita sunt turpes, credo ecastor Venerem ipsam e fano fugent.
AGOR. Milphio. MIL. Edepol Milphionem miserum.

AD. Aha, there’s no need for it to have been done:
those who have nocturnal faces take care to go to sacrifice by night. 320
before Venus wakes up, they first hasten diligently to sacrifice;
for if they should come with Venus awake, so ugly are they, I believe—by Castor!—they would drive Venus herself out of the shrine.
AGOR. Milphio. MIL. By Pollux, poor Milphio.

quid nunc vis tibi?
AGOR. Opsecro hercle, ut mulsa loquitur. MIL. Nil nisi laterculos, 325
sesumam papaveremque, triticum et frictas nuces.

what do you want now?
AGOR. I beseech, by Hercules, how he talks like mulsa. MIL. Nothing except little brick-cakes, 325
sesame and poppy, wheat and roasted nuts.

AG. Ecquid amare videor? M. Damnum, quod Mercurius minime amat.
AGOR. Namque edepol lucrum amare nullum amatorem addecet.

AG. Do I seem to be in love at all? M. Loss—what Mercury loves least.
AGOR. For indeed, by Pollux, to love lucre befits no lover.

ANT. Eamus, mea germana. AD. Age sis, ut lubet. ANT. Sequere hac.

ANT. Let us go, my sister. AD. Come on, please, as you like. ANT. Follow this way.

AD.
Sequor.
MIL. Eunt hae. AGOR. Quid si adeamus?

AD.
I follow.
MIL. They are going. AGOR. What if we approach?

MIL. Adeas. AGOR. Primum 330
prima salva sis,
et secunda tu secundo salve in pretio; tertia
salve extra pretium. ANC.

MIL. Approach. AGOR. First 330
first one, may you be safe,
and you, second, secondly hail at a price; the third
hail outside the price. ANC.

Tum pol ego et oleum et operam perdidi.
AGOR. Quo te agis? AD. Egone?

Then, by Pollux, I have lost both oil and effort.
AGOR. Where are you going? AD. Me?

in aedem Veneris. AGOR. Quid eo? AD. Vt
Venerem propitiem.
AGOR. Eho, an irata est?

to the temple of Venus. AGOR. What for there? AD. That
I may propitiate Venus.
AGOR. Hey, is she angry?

propitia hercle est. vel ego pro illa spondeo.
quid tu ais?

propitious, by Hercules, she is. i even will be her surety.
what do you say?

AD. Quid mihi molestu's, opsecro? AGOR. Aha, tam saeviter. 335
AD. Mitte, amabo.

AD. Why are you troublesome to me, I beseech you? AGOR. Aha, so savagely. 335
AD. Leave off, please.

AGOR. Quid festinas? turba nunc illi est. AD. Scio.

AGOR. Why are you hurrying? There’s a crowd with him now. AD. I know.

sunt illi aliae quas spectare ego, et me spectari volo.
AGOR. Qui lubet spectare turpes, pulchram spectandam dare?
AD. Quia apud aedem Veneris hodie est mercatus meretricius:
eo conveniunt mercatores, ibi ego me ostendi volo. 340
AGOR. Invendibili merci oportet ultro emptorem adducere:
proba mers facile emptorem reperit, tam etsi in abstruso sitast.

there are other women for him whom I want to look at, and I want myself to be looked at.
AGOR. Who likes to look at the ugly, and to offer a beautiful woman to be looked at?
AD. Because at the temple of Venus today there is a meretricious market:
to it the merchants gather; there I want to show myself. 340
AGOR. For unsellable merchandise one must of one’s own accord bring along a buyer:
a good ware easily finds a buyer, even if it is set in hiding.

quid ais tu? quando illi apud me mecum caput et corpus copulas? ~
AD. Quo die Orcus Acherunte mortuos amiserit.
AGOR. Sunt mihi intus nescio quot nummi aurei lymphatici. 345
AD. Deferto ad me, faxo actutum constiterit lymphaticum.

what do you say? when will you, for him, at my place, couple head and body with me? ~
AD. On the day when Orcus shall have lost the dead from Acheron.
AGOR. I have inside I know not how many gold coins, lymphatic. 345
AD. Bring them to me; I’ll make sure the lymphatic has settled at once.

MIL. Bellula hercle. AGOR. I dierecte in maxumam malam crucem.
MIL. Quam magis aspecto, tam magis est nimbata et nugae merae.

MIL. Pretty little thing, by Hercules. AGOR. Go directly to the very worst cross.
MIL. The more I look at her, the more she’s nimbate and pure trifles.

AD. Segrega sermonem. taedet. AGOR. Age, sustolle hoc amiculum.

AD. Cut the talk short. It is tedious. AGOR. Come, pick up this shawl.

AD. Pura sum, comperce amabo me attrectare, Agorastocles. 350
AGOR. Quid agam nunc? AD. Si sapias, curam hanc facere compendi potes.
AG. Quid?

AD. I am pure; please, refrain from handling me, Agorastocles. 350
AGOR. What am I to do now? AD. If you are wise, you can save yourself this worry.
AG. What?

ego non te curem? quid ais, Milphio? M. Ecce odium meum.

Am I not to care for you? What do you say, Milphio? M. Behold my bane.

quid me vis? AG. Cur mi haec irata est? M. Cur haec irata est tibi?

what do you want with me? AG. Why is she angry with me? M. Why is she angry with you?

cur ego id curem? namque istaec magis meast curatio. ~
AGOR. Iam hercle tu periisti, nisi illam mihi tam tranquillam facis 355
quam mare olimst, quom ibi alcedo pullos educit suos.

why should I care about that? for indeed that thing is more my concern. ~
AGOR. Now, by Hercules, you are ruined, unless you make her for me as tranquil 355
as the sea is at times, when there the halcyon rears her chicks.

MIL. Quid faciam? AGOR. Exora, blandire, expalpa. MIL. Faciam sedulo.

MIL. What am I to do? AGOR. Implore, blandish, caress. MIL. I will do it sedulously.

sed vide sis, ne tu oratorem hunc pugnis pectas postea.
AGOR. Non faciam. AD. Non aequos in me es, sed morare et male facis.

but see, please, that you don’t later pummel this orator with your fists.
AGOR. I will not. AD. You are not fair to me, but you delay, and you do ill.

bene promittis multa ex multis: omnia in cassum cadunt. 360
liberare iuravisti me haud semel, sed centiens:
dum te exspecto, neque ego usquam aliam mihi paravi copiam
neque istuc usquam apparet; ita nunc servio nihilo minus.
i, soror. apscede tu a me. AGOR. Perii.

you make fine promises, many out of many: all fall in vain. 360
you swore to free me not once, but a hundred times:
while I wait for you, I have nowhere procured any other means for myself
nor does that appear anywhere; so now I serve none the less.
go, sister. step away from me. AGOR. I am undone.

ecquid agis, Milphio?
MIL. Mea voluptas, mea delicia, mea vita, mea amoenitas, 365
meus ocellus, meum labellum, mea salus, meum savium,
meum mel, meum cor, mea colustra, meus molliculus caseus—
AGOR. Mene ego illaec patiar praesente dici? discrucior miser,
nisi ego illum iubeo quadrigis cursim ad carnificem rapi.

Are you doing anything, Milphio?
MIL. My pleasure, my delight, my life, my amenity, 365
my little eye, my little lip, my salvation, my kiss,
my honey, my heart, my colostrum, my softish cheese—
AGOR. Am I to suffer those things to be said with me present? I am excruciated, wretched,
unless I order him to be snatched at speed by a four-horse chariot to the executioner.

MIL. Noli, amabo, suscensere ero meo, causa mea. 370
ego faxo, si non irata es, ninnium pro te dabit
atque te faciet ut sis civis Attica atque libera.
quin adire sinis? quin tibi qui bene volunt, bene vis item?

MIL. Do not, please, be angry with my master, for my sake. 370
I’ll see to it, if you’re not wroth, he’ll give a mere trifle for you,
and he’ll make it that you be an Attic citizen and free.
why don’t you let me approach? why don’t you, to those who wish you well, wish well in turn?

si ante quid mentitust, nunciam dehinc erit verax tibi.
sine te exorem, sine prehendam auriculis, sine dem savium. 375
AD. Apscede hinc sis, sycophanta par ero. MIL. At scin quo modo?

if before he has lied at all, now from here on he will be veracious to you.
allow me to win you over, allow me to seize you by the little ears, allow me to give a kiss. 375
AD. Stand back from here, please, sycophant, a match for a master. MIL. But do you know how?

iam hercle ego faciam ploratillum, nisi te facio propitiam,
atque hic ne me verberetillum faciat, nisi te propitio,
male formido: novi ego huius mores morosi malos.
quam ob rem amabo, mea voluptas, sine te hoc exorarier. 380
AGOR. Non ego homo trioboli sum, nisi ego illi mastigiae
exturbo oculos atque dentes. em voluptatem tibi,
em mel, em cor, em labellum, em salutem, em savium.

Now, by Hercules, I’ll do a little weeping, unless I make you propitious,
and so that this fellow here doesn’t make me a little beaten, unless I propitiate you,
I badly fear: I know this man’s morose bad ways.
wherefore, please, my delight, allow yourself to be prevailed upon in this. 380
AGOR. I am no man worth three obols, unless I drive out for that whipping-rogue
his eyes and teeth. Here’s pleasure for you,
here’s honey, here’s heart, here’s little lip, here’s salute, here’s a kiss.

MIL. Impias, ere, te: oratorem verberas. AGOR. Iam istoc magis:
[etiam ocellum addam et labellum et linguam. MIL. Ecquid facies modi? 385
AG.] sicine ego te orare iussi?

MIL. Impious, sir, you: you are beating an orator. AGOR. Now all the more for that:
[I'll add even the little eye and the little lip and the tongue. MIL. Will you do anything with measure? 385
AG.] Is it thus that I bade you to plead?

MIL. Quo modo ergo orem? AG. Rogas?
sic enim diceres, sceleste: huius voluptas, te opsecro,
huius mel, huius cor, huius labellum, huius lingua, huius savium,
huius delicia, huius salus amoena, huius festivitas:
[huius colustra, huius dulciculus caseus, mastigia, 390
huius cor, huius studium, huius savium, mastigia] 390a
omnia illa, quae dicebas tua, esse ea memorares mea.

MIL. How then am I to beg? AG. You ask?
For thus you would speak, scoundrel: this one’s delight, I beseech you,
this one’s honey, this one’s heart, this one’s little lip, this one’s tongue, this one’s kiss,
this one’s darling, this one’s pleasant salvation, this one’s festivity:
[this one’s colostrum, this one’s sweetish cheese, whipping-post, 390
this one’s heart, this one’s eagerness, this one’s kiss, whipping-post] 390a
all those things which you were saying were yours, you would remind are mine.

MIL. Opsecro hercle te, voluptas huius atque odium meum,
huius amica mammeata, mea inimica et malevola,
oculus huius, lippitudo mea, mel huius, fel meum,
ut tu huic irata ne sis aut, si id fieri non potest, 395
capias restim ac te suspendas cum ero et vostra familia.
nam mihi iam video propter te victitandum sorbilo,
itaque iam quasi ostreatum tergum ulceribus gestito
propter amorem vestrum. AD. Amabo, men prohibere postulas
ne te verberet magis quam ne mendax me advorsum siet? 400
ANT. Aliquid huic responde, amabo, commode, ne incommodus
nobis sit.

MIL. I beseech you, by Hercules, pleasure of this one and my hatred,
her bosomy girlfriend, my enemy and malevolent one,
her eye, my lippitude, her honey, my gall,
that you not be angry at her or, if that cannot be done, 395
take a rope and hang yourself with the master and your household.
for I now see that on your account I must eke out a living by slurping broth,
and so already I carry a back ulcerated as if oyster-encrusted
on account of your love-affair. AD. Please, do you ask me to prevent him
from beating you rather than to prevent his being a liar against me? 400
ANT. Do answer him something, please, suitably, so that he not be troublesome
to us.

nam detinet nos de nostro negotio.
AD. Verum. etiam tibi hanc amittam noxiam unam, Agorastocles.

for he detains us from our business.
AD. True. I will even let this one offense go for you, Agorastocles.

non sum irata. AGOR. Non es? AD. Non sum. AGOR. Da ergo, ut credam, savium.

I am not angry. AGOR. You are not? AD. I am not. AGOR. Then give me a kiss, so that I may believe it.

AD. Mox dabo, quom ab re divina rediero. AGOR. I ergo strenue. 405
AD. Sequere me, soror. AGOR. Atque audin etiam?

AD. Soon I will give it, when I shall have returned from the divine rite. AGOR. Go then
briskly. 405
AD. Follow me, sister. AGOR. And do you hear as well?

Veneri dicito
multam meis verbis salutem. AD. Dicam. AG. Atque hoc audi.

Say to Venus
many salutations in my words. AD. I will say. AG. And hear this too.

AD. Quid est?
AGOR. Paucis verbis rem divinam facito. atque audin?

AD. What is it?
AGOR. Perform the divine rite in few words. And do you hear?

respice.
respexit. idem edepol Venerem credo facturam tibi.

look back.
he looked back. the same, by Pollux, I believe Venus will do for you.

I.iii
quid nunc mi es auctor, Milphio? MIL. Vt me verberes 410
atque auctionem facias: nam impunissume
tibi quidem hercle vendere hasce aedis licet.
AGOR. Quid iam?

I.iii
what do you advise me now, Milphio? MIL. That you whip me 410
and hold an auction: for with the utmost impunity
by Hercules, you indeed are permitted to sell this house.
AGOR. What now?

MIL. Maiorem partem in ore habitas meo.
AGOR. Supersede istis verbis. MIL. Quid nunc vis tibi?

MIL. You dwell for the greater part in my mouth.
AGOR. Cease from those words. MIL. What do you want now?

AGOR. Trecentos Philippos Collybisco vilico 415
dedi dudum, prius quam me evocavisti foras.
nunc opsecro te, Milphio, hanc per dexteram
perque hanc sororem laevam perque oculos tuos
[perque meos amores perque Adelphasium meam]
perque tuam libertatem— MIL. Em nunc nihil opsecras. 420
AGOR. Mi Milphidisce, mea commoditas, mea salus,
fac quod facturum te esse promisti mihi,
ut ego hunc lenonem perdam. MIL. Perfacile id quidemst.

AGOR. I gave three hundred Philippi to Collybiscus the steward 415
a little while ago, before you called me outside.
Now I beseech you, Milphio, by this right hand
and by this her sister the left, and by your eyes
[and by my loves and by my Adelphasium]
and by your freedom— MIL. There—now you’re beseeching nothing. 420
AGOR. My Milphidiscus, my convenience, my salvation,
do what you promised you would do for me,
so that I may ruin this pimp. MIL. That’s very easy indeed.

i, adduce testis tecum; ego intus interim
iam et ornamentis meis et sycophantiis 425
tuom exornabo vilicum. propera atque abi.
AGOR. Fugio.

go, bring witnesses with you; I inside meanwhile
now with my ornaments and my sycophancies 425
will deck out your bailiff. hurry and be off.
AGOR. I’m off.

MIL. Meum est istuc magis officium quam tuom.
AGOR. Egone egone, si istuc lepide ecfexis— MIL. I modo.
AGOR. Vt non ego te hodie— MIL. Abi modo.

MIL. It is more my office than yours.
AGOR. I, I, if you pull that off neatly— MIL. Go, just go.
AGOR. See if I don’t today— MIL. Just be off.

AGOR. Emittam manu—
MIL. I modo. AG. Non hercle meream. MIL. Oh— AG. Vah— MIL. Abi modo. 430
AGOR. Quantum Acheruntest mortuorum.

AGOR. I’ll let him go—
MIL. Just go. AG. By Hercules, I don’t deserve it. MIL. Oh—
AG. Bah— MIL. Just go. 430
AGOR. How full of the dead Acheron is.

MIL. Etiamne abis?
AGOR. Neque quantum aquaist in mari. MIL. Abiturun es?
AGOR. Neque nubes omnes quantumst.

MIL. Are you still going away?
AGOR. Not even as much as there is water in the sea. MIL. Are you about to go away?
AGOR. Not even as much as there is of all the clouds.

MIL. Pergin pergere?
AGOR. Neque stellae in caelo. MIL. Pergin auris tundere?

MIL. Are you going to keep on?
AGOR. Nor the stars in the sky. MIL. Are you going to keep on pounding my ears?

AGOR. Neque hoc neque illud neque— enim vero serio— 435
neque— hercle vero— quid opust verbis? quippini?
quod uno verbo— dicere hic quidvis licet,
neque— hercle vero serio, scin quomodo?

AGOR. Neither this nor that nor— indeed truly, seriously— 435
nor— by Hercules, truly— what need of words? Why not?
for with one word— here it is permitted to say anything,
nor— by Hercules, truly seriously, do you know how?

ita me di amabunt, vin bona dicam fide,
quod hic inter nos liceat? ita me Iuppiter, 440
scin quam videtur? credin quod ego fabuler?

so may the gods love me, do you want me to speak in good faith,
as is permitted between us here? so help me Jupiter, 440
do you know how it seems? do you believe what I’m saying?

MIL. Si nequeo facere ut abeas, egomet abiero;
nam isti quidem hercle orationi Oedipo
opust coniectore, qui Sphingi interpres fuit.—
AGOR. Illic hinc iratus abiit. nunc mihi cautio est, 445
ne meamet culpa meo amori obiexim moram.
ibo atque arcessam testis, quando Amor iubet
me oboedientem esse servo liberum.—

MIL. If I cannot make you depart, I myself will go away;
for, by Hercules, that oration of yours needs an Oedipus as a conjector, who was interpreter to the Sphinx.—
AGOR. He went away from here angry. Now I must take care, 445
lest by my own fault I interpose a delay to my love. I will go and summon witnesses, since Love bids
that I, a free man, be obedient to a slave.—

ACTVS II

ACT 2

II.i
LYCVS Di illum infelicent omnes, qui post hunc diem
leno ullam Veneri umquam immolarit hostiam           450
quive ullum turis granum sacruficaverit.
nam ego hodie infelix dis meis iratissumis
sex immolavi agnos, nec potui tamen
propitiam Venerem facere uti esset mihi.
quoniam litare nequeo, abii illim ilico                 455
iratus, votui exta prosicarier;
[neque ea poricere volui, quoniam non bona     457a
haruspex dixit: deam esse indignam credidi.]    457b
eo pacto avarae Veneri pulchre adii manum.

II.i
LYCVS May all the gods make that man ill-fated, if after this day           450
any pimp shall ever immolate any victim to Venus,
or shall sacrifice any grain of incense. For I today, unlucky, with my own gods most enraged,
immolated six lambs, and yet I could not
make Venus propitious to me. Since I could not litate, I went off from there at once,                 455
angry; I vowed that the entrails be carved up;
[and I was not willing to present them, since the haruspex said they were not favorable:     457a
I believed the goddess to be unworthy.]    457b
By that method I gave greedy Venus a fine touch of the hand.

quando id quod sat erat satis habere noluit,
ego pausam feci. sic ago, sic me decet.
ego faxo posthac di deaeque ceteri 460
contentiores mage erunt atque avidi minus,
quom scibunt, Veneri ut adierit leno manum.

since she was unwilling to hold as sufficient that which was sufficient,
I made a pause. Thus I act; thus it befits me.
I will make it that hereafter the other gods and goddesses 460
are more content and less avid,
when they learn that a pimp has laid hand on Venus.

condigne haruspex, non homo trioboli,
omnibus in extis aibat portendi mihi
malum damnumque et deos esse iratos mihi. 465
quid ei divini aut humani aequomst credere?
mina mihi argenti dono postilla datast.
sed quaeso, ubi nam illic restitit miles modo,
qui hanc mihi donavit, quem ego vocavi ad prandium?

a proper haruspex, not a three-obol man,
in all the entrails kept saying that evil and loss were portended for me,
and that the gods were angry with me. 465
what of divine or human is it right to believe him?
a mina of silver was given to me as a gift after that.
but pray, where just now did that soldier stop,
who gave me this, whom I invited to lunch?

sed eccum incedit. ANTAMONIDES Ita ut occepi dicere, 470
lenulle, de illa pugna Pentetronica,
quom sexaginta milia hominum uno die
volaticorum manibus occidi meis.
LYC. Volaticorum hominum?

but look, here he comes. ANTAMONIDES Just as I began to say, little pimp, about that Pentetronic battle, 470
when sixty thousand men in one day
of winged men I slew with my own hands.
LYC. Winged men?

ANTAM. Ita dico quidem.
LYC. An, opsecro, usquam sunt homines volatici? 475
ANTAM. Fuere. verum ego interfeci.

ANTAM. Yes, I do say so indeed.
LYC. What, I beseech you, are there anywhere volant men? 475
ANTAM. There were. But I killed them.

LYC. Quo modo
potuisti? ANTAM. Dicam. viscum legioni dedi
fundasque; eo praesternebant folia farferi.

LYC. How
could you? ANTAM. I will tell. I gave birdlime to the legion and slings; with it they were spreading out the leaves of farfara (coltsfoot).

LYC. Quoi rei? ANTAM. Ad fundas viscus ne adhaeresceret.
LYC. Perge.

LYC. For what? ANTAM. For the slings, so that the birdlime would not adhere.
LYC. Proceed.

optume hercle perieras. quid postea? 480
ANTAM. In fundas visci indebant grandiculos globos,
eo illos volantis iussi funditarier.
quid multa verba?

By Hercules, it would have been best if you had perished. What next? 480
ANTAM. Into the slings they were putting rather sizable little globes of birdlime;
with that I ordered them to sling at the flyers.
why many words?

quemquem visco offenderant,
tam crebri ad terram accidebant quam pira. 484-485
ut quisque acciderat, eum necabam ilico 486
per cerebrum pinna sua sibi, quasi turturem.
LYC. Si hercle istuc umquam factum est, tum me Iuppiter
faciat ut semper sacruficem nec umquam litem.
A. An mi haec non credis?

whomever they had caught with the birdlime,
so thickly they fell to the ground as pears. 484-485
as each had fallen, I killed him on the spot 486
through the cerebrum with his own pinion for himself, as a turtledove.
LYC. If, by Hercules, that has ever been done, then may Jupiter make it that I always sacrifice and never litigate.
A. Do you not believe me in this?

L. Credo, ut mi aequomst credier. 490
age eamus intro. LYC. Dum exta referuntur, volo
narrare tibi etiam unam pugnam. LYC. Nil moror.

L. I believe, as it is right for me to be believed. 490
come, let us go inside. LYC. While the entrails are being brought in, I want
to relate to you one more combat as well. LYC. I don’t mind.

A. Ausculta. L. Non hercle auscultabo. A. Quo modo?

A. Listen. L. By Hercules, I will not listen. A. In what
way?

colaphis quidem hercle tuom iam dilidam caput,
nisi aut auscultas aut is in malam crucem. 495
LYC. Malam crucem ibo potius. ANTAM. Certumnest tibi?
LYC. Certum.

by Hercules, with cuffs indeed I’ll now smash your head,
unless you either listen or go to the accursed cross. 495
LYC. I’d rather go to the accursed cross. ANTAM. Is it settled for you?
LYC. Settled.

ANTAM. Tum tu igitur die bono Aphrodisiis
addice tuam mihi meretricem minusculam.
LYC. Ita res divina mihi fuit: res serias
omnis extollo ex hoc die in alium diem. 500
ANTAM. Profestos festos habeam decretum est mihi.
LYC. Nunc hinc eamus intro.

ANTAM. Then you, therefore, on a good day—at the Aphrodisia—
knock down your little courtesan to me.
LYC. So it has been a sacred service for me: serious affairs
I postpone all of them from this day to another day. 500
ANTAM. I have decreed to hold working-days as feast-days.
LYC. Now let’s go in from here.

sequere hac me.— ANTAM. Seqor.
in hunc diem iam tuos sum mercennarius.—

follow me this way.— ANTAM. I follow.
for this day now I am your mercenary.—

ACTVS III

ACT 3

III.i
AGORASTOCLES Ita me di ament, tardo amico nihil est quicquam inaequius,
praesertim homini amanti, qui quidquid agit properat omnia. 505
sicut ego hos duco advocatos, homines spissigradissimos,
tardiores quam corbitae sunt in tranquillo mari.
atque equidem hercle dedita opera amicos fugitavi senes:
scibam aetate tardiores, metui meo amori moram.
nequiquam hos procos mi elegi loripedis, tardissimos. 510
quin si ituri hodie estis, ite, aut ite hinc in malam crucem.

III.i
AGORASTOCLES So may the gods love me, nothing whatsoever is more inequitable than a tardy friend,
especially to a man in love, who, whatever he does, hastens everything. 505
just as I am leading these advocates, men most slow-stepping,
slower than cargo-ships are on a tranquil sea.
And indeed, by Hercules, on purpose I have shunned old friends:
I knew them slower with age; I feared a delay to my love.
in vain I have chosen these procurators for myself, club-footed, most tardy. 510
Well then, if you are going today, go—or else go from here to the gallows.

sicine oportet ire amicos homini amanti operam datum?
nam iste quidem gradus succretust cribro pollinario,
nisi cum pedicis condidicistis istoc grassari gradu.
ADVOCATI Heus tu, quamquam nos videmur tibi plebeii et pauperes, 515
si nec recte dicis nobis, dives de summo loco,
divitem audacter solemus mactare infortunio.

Is this how friends ought to go to a man in love, with service rendered?
for that gait indeed has been sifted with a flour-sieve,
unless you have thoroughly learned to go at that pace with fetters on.
ADVOCATI Hey, you, although we seem to you plebeian and poor, 515
if you do not speak rightly to us, you rich man from the highest rank,
we are wont boldly to immolate a rich man to misfortune.

nec tibi nos obnoxii [sumus] istuc, quid tu ames aut oderis:
quom argentum pro capite dedimus, nostrum dedimus, non tuom;
liberos nos esse oportet. nos te nihili pendimus, 520
ne tuo nos amori servos [tuos] esse addictos censeas.
liberos homines per urbem modico magis par est gradu
ire, servile esse duco festinantem currere.

nor are we beholden to you in this, what you may love or hate:
when we paid silver per head, we paid our own, not yours;
we ought to be free. we value you at nothing, 520
do not suppose that by your love we are assigned as your slaves.
for free men through the city it is more fitting at a moderate pace
to go; I deem it servile to hurry at a run.

praesertim in re populi placida atque interfectis hostibus
non decet tumultuari. sed si properabas magis, 525
pridie nos te advocatos huc duxisse oportuit.
ne tu opinere, haud quisquam hodie nostrum curret per vias,
neque nos populus pro cerritis insectabit lapidibus.

especially, in the people’s affair being placid and with the enemies slain,
it is not fitting to raise a tumult. but if you were hurrying more, 525
yesterday it behooved you to have led us here as advocates.
do not you suppose, not a single one of us today will run through the streets,
nor will the people pursue us with stones as if madmen.

AGOR. At si ad prandium me in aedem vos dixissem ducere,
vinceretis cervom cursu vel gralatorem gradu; 530
nunc vos quia mihi advocatos dixi et testis ducere,
podagrosi estis ac vicistis cochleam tarditudine.
ADV. An vero non iusta causa est, quor curratur celeriter
ubi bibas, edas de alieno quantum velis usque ad fatim,
quod tu invitus numquam reddas domino, de quoio ederis? 535
sed tamen cum eo cum quiqui, quamquam sumus pauperculi,
est domi quod edimus, ne nos tam contemptim conteras.
quidquid est pauxillulum illuc, nostrum id omne, non tuomst,
neque nos quemquam flagitamus neque nos quisquam flagitat.

AGOR. But if I had said that I would lead you into the house for luncheon, you would have beaten the stag in running or the stilt-walker in stride; 530
now, because I said I would summon you as advocates and lead you as witnesses for me, you are gouty and you have outdone the snail in slowness.
ADV. Or is it not indeed a just cause why one should run quickly to where you may drink and eat of another’s as much as you wish up to satiety, which you, unwilling, never render back to the owner from whom you will eat? 535
But nevertheless, with whomever it may be, although we are rather poor, we have at home what we eat; do not so contemptuously wear us down.
Whatever very little there is there, all of it is ours, it is not yours; nor do we dun anyone, nor does anyone dun us.

tua causa nemo nostrorumst suos rupturus ramites. 540
AGOR. Nimis iracundi estis: equidem haec vobis dixi per iocum.
ADV. Per iocum itidem dictum habeto quae nos tibi respondimus.
[AGOR. Obsecro hercle, operam celocem hanc mihi, ne corbitam date;
attrepidate saltem, nam vos adproperare haud postulo.

for your cause none of ours is going to break his own limbs. 540
AGOR. You are too irascible: indeed I said these things to you in jest.
ADV. Likewise, hold as said in jest what we answered you.
[AGOR. I beg, by Hercules, grant me this swift service, not a slow cargo-boat’s;
at least bestir yourselves, for I do not demand that you make haste.

ADV. Si quid tu placide otioseque agere vis, operam damus; 545
si properas, cursores meliust te advocatos ducere.]
AGOR. Scitis rem, narravi vobis quod vestra opera mi opus siet,
de lenone hoc, qui me amantem ludificatur tam diu,
ei paratae ut sint insidiae de auro et de servo meo.
ADV. Omnia istaec scimus iam nos, si hi spectatores sciant; 550
horunc hic nunc causa haec agitur spectatorum fabula:
hos te satius est docere, ut, quando agas, quid agas sciant.
nos tu ne curassis: scimus rem omnem, quippe omnes simul
didicimus tecum una, ut respondere possemus tibi.

ADV. If you want to do anything calmly and at leisure, we give our service; 545
if you’re in a hurry, it’s better to lead runners as your advocates.]
AGOR. You know the matter; I told you that I need your help,
about this pander, who has been making sport of me, a lover, for so long,
that ambushes be prepared for him concerning my gold and my slave. ADV. We already know all that; if only these spectators would know; 550
on account of these spectators here this play is now being acted:
it is better for you to teach them, so that, when you act, they may know what you are doing.
don’t you worry about us: we know the whole affair, since indeed we all
learned together with you at once, so that we could respond to you.

AGOR. Ita profecto est. sed agite igitur, ut sciam vos scire rem, 555
expedite [et] mihi quae vobis dudum dixi dicite.
ADV. Itane?

AGOR. So indeed it is. But come then, so that I may know that you know the matter, 555
set it out [and] tell me what I told you a little while ago.
ADV. Is that so?

temptas an sciamus? non meminisse nos ratu's,
quo modo trecentos Philippos Collybisco vilico
dederis, quos deferret huc ad lenonem inimicum tuom,
[isque] se ut assimularet peregrinum esse aliunde ex alio oppido? 560
ubi is detulerit, tu eo quaesitum servom advenies tuom
cum pecunia. AGOR. Meministis memoriter, servastis me.
ADV. Ille negabit: Milphionem quaeri censebit tuom;
id duplicabit omne furtum.

Are you testing whether we know? Do you suppose we do not remember,
how you gave three hundred Philippi to Collybiscus the bailiff,
for him to bring them here to the pimp, your enemy,
[and that] he should feign himself to be a peregrine from elsewhere, from another town? 560
when he has brought it, you will come there to seek your slave
with the money. AGOR. You remember by heart; you have saved me.
ADV. He will deny it: he will suppose that your Milphio is being sought;
that will double the whole theft.

leno addicetur tibi.
ad eam rem nos esse testis vis tibi. AGOR. Tenetis rem. 565
ADV. Vix quidem hercle, ita pauxilla est, digitulis primoribus.

the pimp will be adjudged to you.
Do you want us as witnesses for that matter? AGOR. You grasp the matter. 565
ADV. Hardly indeed, by Hercules, it is so very small—only with the very fingertips.

AGOR. [Hoc cito et cursim est agendum. propera iam quantum potest.
ADV. Bene vale igitur.

AGOR. [This must be done quickly and at a run. Hurry now as much as you can.
ADV. Fare well then.

te advocatos meliust celeris ducere;
tardi sumus nos. AGOR. Optime itis, pessime hercle dicitis.
quin etiam deciderint vobis femina in talos velim.

it is better for you to lead swift advocates;
we are slow. AGOR. You go excellently, by Hercules you speak most badly.
nay even, I would wish your thighs had dropped down onto your ankles.

570
ADV. At edepol nos tibi in lumbos linguam atque oculos in solum.
AGOR. Heia, hau vostrumst iracundos esse, quod dixi ioco.
ADV. Nec tuom quidem est amicis per iocum iniuste loqui.

570
ADV. But, by Pollux, we’ll drive your tongue down into your loins and your eyes into the ground.
AGOR. Hey, it’s not your part to be iracund, since I said it in jest.
ADV. Nor is it your part, indeed, to speak unjustly to friends by way of a jest.

AGOR. Mittite istaec. quid velim vos, scitis. ADV. Callemus probe:
lenonem ut periurum perdas, id studes.

AGOR. Drop that stuff. You know what I want of you. ADV. We know full well:
that you are eager to destroy the perjured pimp.

AGOR. Tenetis rem.] 575
euge, opportune egrediuntur Milphio una et vilicus.
basilice exornatus incedit et fabre ad fallaciam.

AGOR. You’ve got the plan.] 575
bravo, opportunely Milphio and the overseer come out together.
right royally bedecked he strides, and skillfully for deception.

III.ii
MILPHIO Iam tenes praecepta in corde? COLLYBISCVS Pulchre. MIL. Vide
sis calleas.

3.2
MILPHIO Have you got the precepts by heart yet? COLLYBISCVS Beautifully. MIL. See to it
please, that you are well-versed.

COLL. Quid opust verbis? callum aprugnum callere aeque non sinam.
MIL. Fac modo ut condocta tibi sint dicta ad hanc fallaciam. 580
COLL. Quin edepol condoctior sum, quam tragoedi aut comici.

COLL. What need is there of words? I will not allow a wild boar’s callus to be as calloused as I am.
MIL. Only see that the words are well concocted in you for this fallacy. 580
COLL. Why, by Pollux, I am more well-concocted than tragedians or comedians.

MIL. Probus homost. AGOR. Adeamus propius. MIL. Adsunt testes?

MIL. He is an honest man. AGOR. Let us approach nearer. MIL.
Are the witnesses present?

AGOR.
Tot quidem.
MIL. Non potuisti adducere homines magis ad hanc rem idoneos.
nam istorum nullus nefastust: comitiales sunt meri;
ibi habitant, ibi eos conspicias quam praetorem saepius. 585
hodie iuris coctiores non sunt qui lites creant,
quam hi sunt, qui si nihil est quicum litigent, lites emunt.

AGOR.
So many indeed.
MIL. You could not have brought men more idoneous for this matter.
for of those fellows none is “nefastus”: they are sheer “comitial” types;
there they dwell, there you might catch sight of them more often than the praetor. 585
nowadays the men who beget lawsuits are not more “cooked” in ius
than these are—who, if there is no one with whom to litigate, buy lawsuits.

ADV. Di te perdant. M. Vos quidem hercle— cum eo cum quiqui tamen
et bene et benigne facitis, quom ero amanti operam datis.
sed isti iam sciunt, negoti quid sit?

ADV. May the gods destroy you. M. You indeed, by Hercules— with him, with whoever at any rate
you act both well and benignly, when you give service to my master in love.
But do those fellows already know what the business is?

AGOR. Omne in ordine. 590
MIL. Tum vos animum advortite igitur. hunc vos lenonem Lycum
novistis? ADV. Facile.

AGOR. Everything in order. 590
MIL. Then turn your attention, therefore. Do you know this pimp Lycus?
ADV. Easily.

COLL. At pol ego eum, qua sit facie, nescio.
eum mihi volo demonstretis hominem. ADV. Nos curabimus.

COLL. But by Pollux, I don’t know what he looks like.
I want you to point that man out to me. ADV. We’ll see to it.

satis praeceptumst. AGOR. Hic trecentos nummos numeratos habet.
ADV. Ergo nos inspicere oportet istuc aurum, Agorastocles, 595
ut sciamus quid dicamus mox pro testimonio.

That’s instruction enough. AGOR. He has three hundred coins counted out.
ADV. Therefore it behooves us to inspect that gold, Agorastocles, 595
so that we may know what to say presently as testimony.

COLL. Agite, inspicite. ADV. Aurum est profecto hoc, spectatores, comicum:
macerato hoc pingues fiunt auro in barbaria boves;
verum ad hanc rem agundam Philippum est: ita nos adsimulabimus.
COLL. Sed ita adsimulatote quasi ego sim peregrinus.

COLL. Come on, inspect it. ADV. This is indeed gold, spectators, comic gold:
with this macerated gold, in barbarian country oxen become fat;
but for conducting this business a Philippus is needed: thus we will simulate. COLL. But simulate it as if I were a foreigner.

ADV. Scilicet, 600
et quidem quasi tu nobiscum adveniens hodie oraveris,
liberum ut commostraremus tibi locum et voluptarium,
ubi ames, potes, pergraecere. COLL. Eu, edepol mortales malos.
AGOR. Ego enim docui.

ADV. Of course, 600
and indeed as though you, arriving with us today, had begged
that we point out to you a free and voluptuary place,
where you may love, you can, go full Greek. COLL. Ah, by Pollux, wicked mortals!
AGOR. For I taught.

MIL. Quis te porro? COLL. Agite intro abite,
Agorastocles,
ne hic vos mecum conspicetur leno neu fallaciae 605
praepedimentum obiciatur. ADV. Hic homo sapienter sapit.

SOLD. Who are you then? COLL.
Come on, go inside,
Agorastocles,
lest the leno here be spotted seeing you with me, and lest an impediment 605
to the trick be thrown up. ADV. This man is sapient.

facite quod iubet. AGOR. Abeamus. sed vos— ADV. Satis dictumst.

do what he orders. AGOR. Let us depart. but you— ADV. Enough
has been said.

abi.
AGOR. Abeo. ADV. Quaeso, di immortales, quin abis?

go away.
AGOR. I'm going. ADV. I beseech, immortal gods, won’t you go?

AGOR. Abeo.— ADV.
Sapis.
COLL. St, 608a
tace. ADV. Quid est?

AGOR. I'm going.— ADV.
You are wise.
COLL. Hush, 608a
be silent. ADV. What is it?

COLL. Fores hae fecerunt magnum flagitium modo.
ADV. Quid <id> est flagiti? COLL. Crepuerunt clare.

COLL. These doors have just committed a great outrage.
ADV. What <id> is the outrage? COLL. They creaked loudly.

ADV. Di te perduint.
pone nos recede. COLL. Fiat.

ADV. May the gods destroy you.
put us down, step back. COLL. So be it.

ADV. Nos priores ibimus.
COLL. Faciunt scurrae quod consuerunt: pone sese homines locant.
ADV. Illic homo est, qui egreditur, leno.

ADV. We will go first.
COLL. Buffoons do what they are accustomed to: they place themselves behind men.
ADV. There is the man who is coming out, the pimp.

C. Bonus est, nam similis malist.
iam nunc ego illi egredienti sanguinem exsugam procul.

C. He is good, for he is similar to a bad man.
right now I will suck out his blood from afar as he comes out.

III.iii
LYCVS Iam ego istuc revortar, miles: convivas volo 615
reperire nobis commodos, qui una sient;
interibi attulerint exta, atque eadem mulieres
iam ab re divina credo apparebunt domi.
sed quid huc tantum hominum incedunt? ecquidnam adferunt?

III.iii
LYCVS Now I'll turn back there, soldier: I want to find for us dinner-guests 615
suitable, who may be together with us;
in the meantime they will have brought the entrails, and those same women
now from the divine rite, I believe, will appear at home.
but why are so many people advancing this way? What are they bringing?

et ille chlamydatus quisnam est, qui sequitur procul? 620
ADV. Aetoli cives te salutamus, Lyce,
quamquam hanc salutem ferimus inviti tibi.
LYC. Fortunati omnes sitis, quod certo scio
nec fore nec fortunam id situram fieri.
ADV. Istic est thensaurus stultis in lingua situs, 625
ut quaestui habeant male loqui melioribus.

and who is that chlamys-clad fellow, who follows from afar? 620
ADV. We Aetolian citizens salute you, Lycus,
although we bear this salutation to you unwillingly.
LYC. May you all be fortunate, for I know for certain
that it will not be, nor will Fortune suffer it to be brought to pass.
ADV. There is a treasure for fools set upon the tongue, 625
so that they may have speaking ill of their betters for profit.

LYC. Viam qui nescit, qua deveniat ad mare,
eum oportet amnem quaerere comitem sibi.
ego male loquendi vobis nescivi viam:
nunc vos mihi amnes estis; vos certum est sequi: 630
si bene dicetis, vostra ripa vos sequar,
si male dicetis, vostro gradiar limite.
ADV. Malo bene facere tantundemst periculum
quantum bono male facere.

LYC. He who does not know the road by which he may come down to the sea,
it behooves him to seek a river as companion to himself.
I did not know the way of speaking ill to you:
now you are rivers to me; I am resolved to follow you: 630
if you speak well, along your bank I will follow,
if you speak badly, I will stride along your limit.
ADV. For a bad man to do well is just as much peril
as for a good man to do badly.

LYC. Qui vero? ADV. Scies.
malo si quid bene facias, [id] beneficium interit; 635
bono si quid male facias, aetatem expetit.

LYC. How so? ADV. You will know.
if you do any good to a bad man, [that] benefit perishes; 635
if you do any ill to a good man, it pursues you for life.

LYC. Facete dictum. sed quid istuc ad me attinet?
ADV. Quia nos honoris tui causa ad te venimus,
quamquam bene volumus leniter lenonibus.

LYC. Wittily said. But what has that to do with me?
ADV. Because we have come to you for the cause of your honor,
although we are well-disposed, gently, toward pimps.

LYC. Si quid boni adportatis, habeo gratiam. 640
ADV. Boni de nostro tibi nec ferimus nec damus
neque pollicemur, neque adeo volumus datum.
LYC. Credo hercle vobis: ita vestra est benignitas.
sed quid nunc voltis?

LYC. If you bring anything good, I am grateful. 640
ADV. We neither bring nor give you any good of ours, nor do we promise it, nor indeed do we wish anything to be given.
LYC. I believe you, by Hercules: such is your benignity.
but what do you want now?

ADV. Hunc chlamydatum quem vides,
ei Mars iratust. COLL. Capiti vestro istuc quidem. 645
ADV. Nunc hunc, Lyce, ad te diripiundum adducimus.
COLL. Cum praeda hic hodie incedet venator domum:
canes compellunt in plagas lepide lupum.

ADV. This cloaked fellow whom you see—Mars is angry at him.
COLL. On your own head be that, indeed. 645
ADV. Now this one, Lyce, we are bringing to you to be despoiled.
COLL. The hunter will stride home today with prey:
the dogs smartly drive the wolf into the nets.

LYC. Quis hic est? ADV. Nescimus nos quidem istum qui siet;
nisi dudum mane ut ad portum processimus, 650
atque istum e navi exeuntem oneraria
videmus. adiit ad nos extemplo exiens;
salutat, respondemus.

LYC. Who is this? ADV. We indeed do not know who that fellow may be;
except that just now in the morning, as we proceeded to the port, 650
and that man coming out from a cargo ship
we see. He approached us at once as he was coming out;
he greets, we respond.

COLL. Mortalis malos,
ut ingrediuntur docte in sycophantiam.
LYC. Quid deinde? ADV. Sermonem ibi nobiscum copulat. 655
ait se peregrinum esse huius ignarum oppidi;
locum sibi velle liberum praeberier,
ubi nequam faciat.

COLL. Wicked mortals, how cleverly they enter into sycophancy.
LYC. What then? ADV. There he joins conversation with us. 655
he says that he is a foreigner, ignorant of this town;
that he wants a free place to be provided to him,
where he may do knavery.

nos hominem ad te adduximus.
tu si te di amant, agere tuam rem occasiost.
LYC. Itane?

we have brought the man to you.
you—if the gods love you—this is the occasion to manage your affair.
LYC. Is that so?

ADV. Ille est cupiens, aurum habet. LYC. Praeda haec meast. 660
ADV. Potare, amare volt. LYC. Locum lepidum dabo.

ADV. He is desirous; he has gold. LYC. This booty is mine. 660
ADV. He wants to drink, to love. LYC. I will provide a charming place.

ADV. At enim hic clam furtim esse volt, ne quis sciat
neve arbiter sit. nam hic latro in Sparta fuit,
ut quidem ipse nobis dixit, apud regem Attalum;
inde huc aufugit, quoniam capitur oppidum. 665
COLL. Nimis lepide de latrone, de Sparta optume.
LYC. Di deaeque vobis multa bona dent, quom mihi
et bene praecipitis et bonam praedam datis.

ADV. But indeed he wants to be here secretly, by stealth, lest anyone know and lest there be an arbiter.
for this man was a brigand in Sparta, as he himself told us, at the court of King Attalus;
from there he fled hither, since the town is being captured. 665
COLL. Most neatly about the robber, about Sparta most excellently.
LYC. May the gods and goddesses grant you many good things, since you both advise me well and give good prey to me.

ADV. Immo ut ipse nobis dixit, quo accures magis,
trecentos nummos Philippos portat praesidi. 670
LYC. Rex sum, si ego illum hodie ad me hominem adlexero.
ADV. Quin hic quidem tuos est. LYC. Opsecro hercle hortamini,
ut devortatur ad me in hospitium optumum.

ADV. Nay rather, as he himself told us—so that you may hurry the more—he carries three hundred Philippi coins as a safeguard. 670
LYC. I am a king, if today I have drawn that man to me.
ADV. Why, here indeed he is yours. LYC. I beseech, by Hercules, urge him to divert to me, to the best hospitality.

ADV. Neque nos hortari neque dehortari decet
hominem peregrinum: tuam rem tu ages, si sapis. 675
nos tibi palumbem ad aream usque adduximus:
nunc te illum meliust capere, si captum esse vis.
COLL. Iamne itis? quid quod vobis mandavi, hospites?

ADV. Nor is it fitting for us either to exhort or to dissuade a foreign man: your business you will manage yourself, if you are wise. 675
we have led the wood-pigeon for you right up to the threshing-floor:
now it is better that you catch him yourself, if you want him to be caught.
COLL. Are you going already? What about what I charged you with, guests?

ADV. Cum illoc te meliust tuam rem, adulescens, loqui:
illic est ad istas res probus, quas quaeritas. 680
COLL. Videre equidem vos vellem, quom huic aurum darem.
ADV. Illinc procul nos istuc inspectabimus.
COLL. Bonam dedistis mihi operam.

ADV. Since it is better for you to speak with that man about your affair, young man:
that fellow there is a man of probity for those matters which you seek. 680
COLL. Indeed I would wish you to see, when I give this man the gold.
ADV. From over there, at a distance, we shall inspect that.
COLL. You have rendered me good service.

LYC. It ad me lucrum.
COLL. Illud quidem quorsum asinus caedit calcibus.
LYC. Blande hominem compellabo.

LYC. Lucre comes to me.
COLL. Indeed, to what end does the ass strike with his heels?
LYC. I will address the man coaxingly.

hospes hospitem 685
salutat. salvom te advenire gaudeo.
COLL. Multa tibi di dent bona, quom me salvom esse vis.

a host a guest 685
salutes. I rejoice that you arrive safe.
COLL. May the gods give you many good things, since you wish me to be safe.

LYC. Hospitium te aiunt quaeritare. COLL. Quaerito.
LYC. Ita illi dixerunt, qui hinc a me abierunt modo,
te quaeritare a muscis.

LYC. They say you are seeking hospitium. COLL. I am seeking.
LYC. So said those who just went away from me from here,
that you are being sought by the flies.

COLL. Minime gentium. 690
LYC. Quid ita? COLL. Quia <a> muscis si mi hospitium quaererem,
adveniens irem in carcerem recta via.
ego id quaero hospitium, ubi ego curer mollius,
quam regi Antiocho oculi curari solent.

COLL. By no means at all. 690
LYC. Why so? COLL. Because if I were seeking lodging from the flies,
on arriving I would go straight into prison by the direct way.
I am looking for that lodging where I may be treated more softly
than King Antiochus’s eyes are wont to be treated.

LYC. Edepol ne tibi illud possum festivom dare, 695
siquidem potes esse te pati in lepido loco,
in lecto lepide strato lepidam mulierem
complexum contrectare. COLL. Is, leno, viam.
LYC. Vbi tu Leucadio, Lesbio, Thasio, Chio,
vetustate vino edentulo aetatem inriges; 700
ibi ego te replebo usque unguentum geumatis,
quid multa verba?

LYC. By Pollux, indeed I can give you that delightful thing, 695
provided you can allow yourself to be in a charming place,
on a bed charmingly spread, to handle, while embracing, a charming woman.
COLL. Away, pimp, make way.
LYC. Where you may, with Leucadian, Lesbian, Thasian, Chian
wine, toothless from old age, irrigate your lifetime; 700
there I will fill you up straight through with the Geumatis unguent—
why many words?

faciam, ubi tu laveris,
ibi ut balneator faciat unguentariam.
sed haec latrocinantur, quae ego dixi, omnia.
COLL. Quid ita?

I will do it; when you have washed,
there let the bath-attendant set up a perfumery.
but all these things which I have said are latrociny, every one.
COLL. Why so?

LYC. Quia aurum poscunt praesentarium. 705
COLL. Quin hercle accipere tu non mavis quam ego dare.
ADV. Quid si evocemus huc foras Agorastoclem,
ut ipsus testis sit sibi certissumus?
heus tu, qui furem captas, egredere ocius,
ut tute inspectes aurum lenoni dari. 710

LYC. Because they demand gold in ready money. 705
COLL. Why, by Hercules, do you not prefer to receive than I to give?
ADV. What if we evoke Agorastocles out here,
so that he himself may be the most certain witness for himself?
hey you, who catch the thief, come out quicker,
so that you yourself may inspect the gold being given to the pimp. 710

III.iv
AGORASTOCLES Quid est? quid voltis, testes? ADV. Specta ad dexteram.

3.4
AGORASTOCLES What is it? What do you want, witnesses? ADV. Look to the right.

tuos servos aurum ipsi lenoni dabit.
COLL. Age, accipe hoc sis: hic sunt numerati aurei
trecenti nummi, qui vocantur Philippei.
hinc me procura; propere hosce apsumi volo. 715
LYC. Edepol fecisti prodigum promum tibi.

your slave will give the gold to the pimp himself.
COLL. Come, take this, please: here are three hundred counted-out gold coins, which are called Philippi.
from this see to my affair; I want these to be used up promptly. 715
LYC. By Pollux, you have made yourself a prodigal steward.

age, eamus intro. COLL. Te sequor. LYC. Age, age, ambula,
ibi, quae reliqua, alia fabulabimur.

come on, let’s go inside. COLL. I follow you. LYC. Come, come, walk on,
there, as for what remains, we will talk of other matters.

COLL. Eadem narrabo tibi res Spartiaticas.
L. Quin sequere me ergo.— C. Abduc intro. addictum tenes.— 720
AGOR. Quid nunc mi auctores estis?

COLL. I will tell you likewise Spartan affairs.
L. Why not follow me then.— C. Lead him inside. You hold him adjudged.— 720
AGOR. What now—are you guarantors to me?

ADV. Vt frugi sies.
AGOR. Quid si animus esse non sinit? ADV. Esto ut sinit.

ADV. That you be frugal.
AGOR. What if my spirit does not allow it? ADV. Be as it allows.

AGOR. Vidistis, leno quom aurum accepit? ADV. Vidimus.
AGOR. Eum vos meum esse servom scitis?

AGOR. Did you see, when the pimp accepted the gold? ADV. We saw.
AGOR. Do you know him to be my slave?

ADV. Scivimus.
AGOR. Rem adversus populi saepe leges? ADV. Scivimus. 725
AGOR. Em istaec volo ergo vos commeminisse omnia,
mox quom ad praetorem usus veniet.

ADV. We knew.
AGOR. A matter against the people's laws, time and again? ADV. We knew. 725
AGOR. There—these things I want you, then, to have remembered, all of them,
soon, when there will be need to go to the praetor.

ADV. Meminimus.
AGOR. Quid si recenti re aedis pultem? ADV. Censeo.

ADV. We remember.
AGOR. What if I were to knock at the house while the matter is fresh? ADV. I advise it.

AGOR. Si pultem, non recludet? ADV. Panem frangito.
AGOR. Si exierit leno, quid tum?

AGOR. If I knock, will he not unbar? ADV. Break bread.
AGOR. If the pimp comes out, what then?

hominem interrogem, 730
meus servos ad eum veneritne? ADV. Quippini?
[AGOR. Cum auri ducentis nummis Philippis?

shall I ask the man, 730
whether my slave has come to him? ADV. Why not indeed?
[AGOR. With two hundred gold Philippi coins?

ADV. Quippini?
AG. Ibi extemplo leno errabit. AD. Qua de re? AG. Rogas?

ADV. Why not?
AG. There at once the pander will be at a loss. AD. About what? AG. You ask?

quia centum nummis minus dicetur. ADV. Bene putas.
AGOR. Alium censebit quaeritari.

because it will be quoted at a hundred coins less. ADV. You think well.
AGOR. He will deem that another is being sought.

ADV. Scilicet.] 735
AGOR. Extemplo denegabit. ADV. Iuratus quidem.
AG. Homo furti sese adstringet.

ADV. Of course.] 735
AGOR. Instantly he will deny it. ADV. Even under oath.
AG. The man will bind himself liable for theft.

AD. Hau dubium id quidemst.
AGOR. Quantum quantum ad eum erit delatum. ADV. Quippini?

AD. That indeed is not at all in doubt.
AGOR. Whatever and however much is laid before him. ADV. Why not?

AGOR. Diespiter vos perduit. ADV. Te quippini?
AGOR. Ibo et pultabo ianuam iam.

AGOR. May Jupiter destroy you all. ADV. Why not you?
AGOR. I will go and knock on the door now.

ADV. Quippini? 740
AGOR. Tacendi tempus est, nam crepuerunt fores.
foras egrediri video lenonem Lycum.
adeste quaeso.

ADV. Why not? 740
AGOR. It is a time for keeping silent, for the doors have creaked.
I see the pimp Lycus going out.
Be present, I beg.

ADV. Quippini? ~ si voles
operire capita, ne nos leno noverit,
qui illi malae rei tantae fuimus inlices. 745

ADV. Why not? ~ if you wish,
cover your heads, lest the pander know us,
we who were the enticers to that so great an ill affair for him. 745

III.v
LYCVS Suspendant omnes nunciam se haruspices,
quam ego illis posthac quod loquantur creduam,
qui in re divina dudum dicebant mihi
malum damnumque maximum portendier:
is explicavi meam rem postilla lucro. 750
AGOR. Salvos sis, leno. LYC. Di te ament, Agorastocles.
AGOR. Magis me benigne nunc salutas quam antidhac.

III.v
LYCVS Let all the haruspices hang themselves right now, rather than that I would hereafter believe what they say, who in the divine rite just now were telling me that an evil and the greatest loss was being portended: yet after that I have unfolded my affair to profit. 750
AGOR. May you be safe, pander. LYC. May the gods love you, Agorastocles. AGOR. You greet me more kindly now than before.

LYC. Tranquillitas evenit, quasi navi in mari:
utquomque est ventus, exim velum vortitur.
AGOR. Valeant apud te quos volo; atque haud te volo. 755
LYC. Valent ut postulatumst, verum non tibi.
AGOR. Mitte ad me, si audes, hodie Adelphasium tuam,
die festo celebri nobilique Aphrodisiis.

LYC. A tranquility comes on, as for a ship at sea:
whichever way the wind is, then the sail is turned.
AGOR. Let those I wish fare well with you; and I do not wish you. 755
LYC. They fare well as requested, but not for you.
AGOR. Send to me, if you dare, today your Adelphasium,
on the festal, celebrated and noble Aphrodisia.

LYC. Calidum prandisti prandium hodie? dic mihi.
AGOR. Quid iam?

LYC. Did you lunch a hot luncheon today? tell me.
AGOR. What now?

LYC. Quia os nunc frigefactas, quom rogas. 760
AGOR. Hoc age sis, leno. servom esse audivi meum
apud te. LYC. Apud me? numquam factum reperies.
AGOR. Mentire.

LYC. Because you have now cooled your mouth, since you ask. 760
AGOR. Pay attention, please, pander. I have heard that my slave is with you.
LYC. With me? You will never find it so.
AGOR. You lie.

nam ad te venit aurumque attulit.
ita mihi renuntiatumst, quibus credo satis.
LYC. Malus es, captatum me advenis cum testibus. 765
tuorum apud me nemost nec quicquam tui.

for he came to you and brought the gold.
so it was reported back to me, by those whom I trust enough.
LYC. You are wicked; you come with witnesses to entrap me. 765
there is none of yours with me, nor anything of yours.

AGOR. Mementote illud, advocati. ADV. Meminimus.
LYC. Hahahae, iam teneo quid sit, perspexi modo.

AGOR. Bear that in mind, advocates. ADV. We remember.
LYC. Ha-ha-ha, now I grasp what it is; I have just seen through it.

hi qui illum dudum conciliaverunt mihi
peregrinum Spartanum, id nunc his cerebrum uritur, 770
me esse hos trecentos Philippos facturum lucri.
nunc hunc inimicum quia esse sciverunt mihi,
eum adlegarunt, suom qui servom diceret
cum auro esse apud me; compositast fallacia,
ut eo me privent atque inter se dividant. 775
lupo agnum eripere postulant. nugas agunt.

these men who a while ago procured for me that foreign Spartan—this now burns their brain, 770
that I am going to make a profit of these three hundred Philippi.
now, because they knew this man to be an enemy to me,
they have suborned him, to say that his slave
is with gold at my place; a trick has been composed,
so that they may deprive me of it and divide it among themselves. 775
they demand to snatch a lamb from a wolf. they babble trifles.

AGOR. Negasne apud te esse aurum, nec servom meum?
LYC. Nego: et negando, si quid refert, ravio.
ADV. Periisti, leno.

AGOR. Do you deny that you have the gold, and my slave?
LYC. I deny it; and by denying, if it matters at all, I go hoarse.
ADV. You’re ruined, pimp.

nam istest huius vilicus
quem tibi nos esse Spartiatam diximus, 780
qui ad te trecentos Philippeos modo detulit.
idque in istoc adeo aurum inest marsuppio.
LYC. Vae vostrae aetati.

for that one is this man’s steward
whom we told you was a Spartan, 780
who just now brought to you 300 Philippei.
and indeed that gold is in that purse there.
LYC. Woe to your age.

ADV. Id quidem <in> mundo est tuae.
AGOR. Age omitte actutum, furcifer, marsuppium:
manifesto fur es mihi. quaeso hercle, operam date, 785
dum me videatis servom ab hoc abducere.—
LYC. Nunc pol ego perii certo, haud arbitrario.

ADV. That indeed is quite in keeping with your neatness.
AGOR. Come, drop the purse at once, you gallows-bird:
you are manifestly a thief to me. Please, by Hercules, give attention, 785
while you see me lead my slave away from this fellow.—
LYC. Now, by Pollux, I am surely ruined, not just by guesswork.

consulto hoc factum est, mihi ut insidiae fierent.
sed quid ego dubito fugere hinc in malam crucem,
prius quam hinc optorto collo ad praetorem trahor? 790
eheu, quom ego habui hariolos haruspices;
qui si quid bene promittunt, perspisso evenit,
id quod mali promittunt, praesentarium est.
nunc ibo, amicos consulam, quo me modo
suspendere aequom censeant potissimum.— 795

This was done deliberately, that ambushes might be laid for me.
But why do I hesitate to flee from here to the gallows,
before I’m dragged from here, with my neck twisted, to the praetor? 790
Alas, when I had diviners and haruspices;
if they promise anything good, it scarcely comes to pass,
what they promise of evil is instantaneous.
Now I’ll go, I’ll consult my friends, by what method
they think it right that I should hang myself most preferably.— 795

III.vi
AGORASTOCLES Age tu progredere, ut [testes] videant te ire istinc foras.
estne hic meus servos? COLLYBISCVS Sum hercle vero, Agorastocles.

3.6
AGORASTOCLES Proceed, you, so that [witnesses] may see you go out from there.
Is my slave here? COLLYBISCVS By Hercules, yes indeed I am, Agorastocles.

AGOR. Quid nunc, sceleste leno? ADV. Quicum litigas
apscessit. AGOR. Vtinam hinc abierit malam crucem.

AGOR. What now, you wicked procurer? ADV. He with whom you litigate
has withdrawn. AGOR. If only he had gone off from here to the gallows.

ADV. Ita nos velle aequom est. AGOR. Cras subscribam homini dicam. 800
COLL. Numquid me? AGOR. Apscedas, sumas ornatum tuom.
COLL. Non sum nequiquam miles factus; paululum
praedae intus feci: dum lenonis familia
dormitat, extis sum satur factus probe.

ADV. So it is right that we should will it. AGOR. Tomorrow I will enter my name; I will bring suit against the man. 800
COLL. Anything against me? AGOR. Step aside; take up your outfit.
COLL. I have not become a soldier to no purpose; I made a little booty inside: while the pander’s household was dozing, I was well and truly made sated with entrails.

abscedam hinc intro.— AGOR. Factum a vobis comiter. 805
bonam dedistis, advocati, operam mihi.
cras mane, quaeso, in comitio estote obviam.
tu sequere me intro.

I’ll withdraw inside.— AGOR. It has been done courteously by you. 805
You have given me, advocates, good service.
tomorrow morning, please, be on hand in the comitium to meet me.
you, follow me inside.

vos valete.— ADV. Et tu vale.
iniuriam illic insignite postulat:
nostro servire nos sibi censet cibo. 810
verum ita sunt *** isti nostri divites:
si quid bene facias, levior pluma est gratia,
si quid peccatumst, plumbeas iras gerunt.
domos abeamus nostras, sultis, nunciam,
quando id, quoi rei operam dedimus, impetravimus, 815
ut perderemus corruptorem civium.—

farewell, you all.— ADV. And you, farewell.
he there demands a notable injury:
he considers that we should serve him with our food. 810
but such *** are those rich men of ours:
if you do anything well, gratitude is lighter than a feather,
if anything has been done amiss, they carry leaden angers.
let us go away to our homes, if you will, now at once,
since that, the thing to which we gave effort, we have obtained, 815
that we might ruin the corrupter of the citizens.—

ACTVS IV

ACT 4

IV.i
MILPHIO Exspecto quo pacto meae techinae processurae sient.
studeo hunc lenonem perdere, qui meum erum miserum macerat,
is me autem porro verberat, incursat pugnis, calcibus:
servire amanti miseria est, praesertim qui quod amat caret. 820
attat, e fano recipere video se Syncerastum,
lenonis servom; quid habeat sermonis auscultabo.

IV.i
MILPHIO I’m waiting to see in what way my technics are going to proceed.
I’m eager to destroy this pander, who macerates my poor master,
and he, moreover, beats me, assaults me with fists and with kicks:
to serve a lover is misery, especially one who lacks what he loves. 820
ah, I see Syncerastus returning from the shrine,
the pimp’s slave; I’ll listen to what talk he has.

IV.ii
SYNCERASTVS Satis spectatum est, deos atque homines eius neglegere gratiam,
quoi homini erus est consimilis velut ego habeo hunc huius modi.
neque periurior neque peior alter usquam est gentium, 825
quam erus meus est, neque tam luteus neque tam caeno conlitus.
ita me di ament, vel in lautumiis vel in pistrino mavelim
agere aetatem praepeditus latere forti ferreo,
quam apud lenonem hunc servitutem colere.

IV.ii
SYNCERASTVS It has been seen enough, that gods and men neglect the favor
of the man whose master is similar to himself, such a one as I have, of this sort.
nowhere among the nations is there another more perjured nor worse, 825
than my master is, nor so clayey nor so smeared with filth. So may the gods love me, I would rather either in the stone-quarries or in the mill
spend my lifetime, shackled, with my side hampered by stout iron,
than to cultivate servitude with this pimp.

quid illuc est genus,
quae illic hominum corruptelae fiunt. di vostram fidem,            830
quodvis genus ibi hominum videas, quasi Acheruntem veneris,
equitem peditem, libertinum, furem an fugitivom velis,
verberatum, vinctum, addictum: qui habet quod det, <ut>ut homo est,
omnia genera recipiuntur; itaque in totis aedibus
tenebrae latebrae, bibitur estur quasi in popina, hau secus.    835
ibi tu videas litteratas fictiles epistulas,
pice signatas, nomina insunt cubitum longis litteris:
ita vinariorum habemus nostrae dilectum domi.
MIL. Omnia edepol mira sunt, nisi erus hunc heredem facit,
nam id quidem, illi, uti meditatur, verba faciet mortuo.            840
et adire lubet hominem et autem nimis eum ausculto lubens.

what a breed there is there,
what corruptions of men are done there. By your faith, gods,            830
you may see any kind of men there, as if you had come to Acheron—
horseman, footman, freedman, thief, or fugitive if you please,
flogged, bound, adjudged: whoever has something to give, whatever sort of man he is,
all kinds are received; and so in the whole house
darkness and hiding-places; there is drinking and eating as in a cookshop, just so.    835
there you may see earthen missives inscribed with letters,
sealed with pitch; the names are inside in letters a cubit long:
thus we have at home a muster of our wine-bibbers.
MIL. By Pollux, everything is marvelous, unless the master makes this man his heir,
for indeed, to that man, as he is contriving, he will be speaking words to a dead man.            840
and it pleases me to go up to the man, and moreover I very gladly listen to him.

SYNC. Haec quom hic video fieri, crucior: pretiis emptos maxumis,
apud nos expeculiatos servos fieri suis eris.
sed ad postremum nihil apparet: male partum male disperit.
MIL. Proinde habet orationem, quasi ipse sit frugi bonae, 845
qui ipsus hercle ignaviorem potis est facere Ignaviam.

SYNC. When I see these things happening here, I am racked: slaves bought at the highest prices,
among us are made spied-out spies and lookouts for their own masters.
but at the last nothing shows: what is ill-gotten ill perishes.
MIL. Accordingly he carries on as if he himself were of good frugality, 845
he who, by Hercules, is able to make Sloth more slothful than Sloth herself.

SYNC. Nunc domum haec ab aede Veneris refero vasa, ubi hostiis
erus nequivit propitiare Venerem suo festo die.
MIL. Lepidam Venerem. SYNC. Nam meretrices nostrae primis hostiis
Venerem placavere extemplo.

SYNC. Now I carry home these vessels from the temple of Venus, where with sacrifices
the master was unable to propitiate Venus on his own feast day.
MIL. A charming Venus. SYNC. For our courtesans with the first victims
placated Venus immediately.

MIL. O lepidam Venerem denuo. 850
SYNC. Nunc domum ibo. MIL. Heus, Synceraste. SYNC. Syncerastum qui vocat?

MIL. O charming Venus again. 850
SYNC. Now I will go home. MIL. Hey, Syncerastus. SYNC. Who calls Syncerastus?

M. Tuos amicus. S. Haud amice facis, qui cum onere offers moram.
MIL. At ob hanc moram tibi reddam operam ubi voles, ubi iusseris.

M. A friend of yours. S. You act hardly like a friend, who with a burden offer a delay.
MIL. But for this delay I will render you service whenever you wish, whenever you command.

habe rem pactam. S. Si futurumst, do tibi operam hanc. M. Quo modo?

Consider the matter agreed. S. If it is going to be, I give you this service. M. How?

SYNC. Vt enim ubi mihi vapulandum sit, tu corium sufferas. 855
apage, nescio quid viri sis. MIL. Malus sum. SYNC. Tibi sis.

SYNC. What—so that when I have to be thrashed, you offer your hide for it? 855
away with you; I don’t know what sort of man you are. MIL. I’m a bad one. SYNC. Be so for yourself.

MIL. Te volo.
SYNC. At onus urget. MIL. At tu appone et respice ad me. SYNC. Fecero,
quamquam haud otiumst.

MIL. I want you.
SYNC. But the onus presses. MIL. But you set it down and look to me. SYNC. I'll do it,
although there is no leisure.

MIL. Salvos sis, Synceraste. SYNC. O Milphio,
di omnes deaeque ament. MIL. Quemnam hominem?

MIL. May you be safe, Syncerastus. SYNC. O Milphio,
may all the gods and goddesses love you. MIL. What man?

SYNC. Nec te nec me,
Milphio:
neque erum meum adeo. MIL. Quem ament igitur? SYNC. Aliquem, dignus 860
qui siet.

SYNC. Neither you nor me,
Milphio:
nor even my master. MIL. Whom then should they love? SYNC. Someone, worthy 860
who is.

nam nostrorum nemo dignust. MIL. Lepide loquere. SYNC. Me decet.

for none of ours is worthy. MIL. You speak wittily. SYNC. It befits me.

MIL. Quid agis? SYNC. Facio quod manufesti moechi hau ferme solent.
MIL. Quid id est?

MIL. What are you doing? SYNC. I do what adulterers caught in the act are not generally wont to do.
MIL. What is that?

SYNC. Refero vasa salva. MIL. Di te et tuom erum perduint.
SYNC. Me non perdent; illum ut perdant facere possum, si velim,
meum erum ut perdant, ni mihi metuam, Milphio.

SYNC. I bring the vessels back safe. MIL. May the gods destroy you and your master.
SYNC. They will not destroy me; I can make it so that they destroy him, if I wish,
that they destroy my master, if I did not fear for myself, Milphio.

MIL. Quid id est? cedo. 865
SYNC. Malus es? MIL. Malus sum. SYNC. Male mihi est.

MIL. What is that? Hand it over. 865
SYNC. Are you bad? MIL. I am bad. SYNC. It goes badly for me.

MIL. Memora, num
esse aliter decet?
quid est, quod male sit tibi, quoi domi sit quod edis quod ames adfatim,
neque triobolum ullum amicae das et ductas gratiis?
SYNC. Diespiter me sic amabit, MIL. Vt quidem edepol dignus es.
SYNC. Vt ego hanc familiam interire cupio.

MIL. Tell me, whether
it is fitting for it to be otherwise?
what is there that is bad for you, who at home have what you eat and what you love in plenty,
and you don’t give a single triobolus to your girlfriend and you lead her for free?
SYNC. Diespiter may so love me. MIL. By Pollux, exactly as indeed you deserve.
SYNC. How I long for this household to perish.

MIL. Adde operam, si cupis. 870
SYNC. Sine pennis volare hau facilest: meae alae pennas non habent.
MIL. Nolito edepol devellisse: iam his duobus mensibus
volucres tibi erunt tuae hirquinae. S. I in malam rem.

MIL. Add effort, if you desire. 870
SYNC. To fly without feathers isn’t easy: my wings have no feathers.
MIL. Don’t, by Pollux, have plucked them out: within these two months
your goaty “wings” will be winged for you. S. Go to the bad.

M. I tu atque erus.
SYNC. Verum. enim qui homo eum norit, norit.

M. Go you and the master.
SYNC. True. For whoever man knows him, knows him.

cito homo pervorti potest.
MIL. Quid iam? SYNC. Quasi tu tacitum habere quicquam potis sis.

A man can quickly be turned.
MIL. What now? SYNC. As if you could keep anything quiet.

MIL. Rectius 875
tacitas tibi res sistam quam quod dictum est mutae mulieri.
SYNC. Animum inducam facile ut tibi istuc credam, ni te noverim.
MIL. Crede audacter meo periclo.

MIL. More rightly 875
I will set before you silent matters than a thing told to a mute woman.
SYNC. I would easily induce my mind to believe that of you, if I did not know you.
MIL. Believe boldly, at my peril.

SYNC. Male credam, et credam tamen.
MIL. Scin tu erum tuom meo ero esse inimicum capitalem? SYNC. Scio.

SYNC. I will believe badly, and yet I will believe.
MIL. Do you know your master to be a capital enemy to my master? SYNC. I know.

MIL. Propter amorem— SYNC. Omnem operam perdis. MIL. Quid iam? 880
SYNC. Quia doctum doces.
MIL. Quid ergo dubitas quin lubenter tuo ero meus quid possiet
facere faciat male, eius merito?

MIL. On account of love— SYNC. You waste all effort. MIL. What now? 880
SYNC. Because you teach the taught.
MIL. Why then do you doubt that my master would gladly, to your master, whatever he could do, do it badly—by his merit?

tum autem si quid tu adiuvas,
eo facilius facere poterit. SYNC. At ego hoc metuo, Milphio.
M. Quid est quod metuas?

then however, if you help at all,
he will be able to do it the more easily. SYNC. But I fear this, Milphio.
M. What is it that you fear?

S. Dum ero insidias paritem, ne me perduim.
si erus meus me esse elocutum quoiquam mortali sciat, 885
continuo is me ex Syncerasto Crurifragium fecerit.
MIL. Numquam edepol mortalis quisquam fiet e me certior,
nisi ero meo uni indicasso, atque ei quoque ut ne enuntiet
id esse facinus ex ted ortum.

S. While I am laying snares for the master, may I not perish.
if my master should know that I have spoken out to any mortal, 885
straightway he will make me, from Syncerastus, “Shinbreaker.”
MIL. Never, by Pollux, shall any mortal get surer information from me,
unless I have disclosed it to my master alone, and to him too with the proviso that he not enunciate
that the deed has arisen from you.

SYNC. Male credam, et credam tamen.
sed hoc tu tecum tacitum habeto. MIL. Fide non melius creditur. 890
loquere (locus occasioque est) libere: hic soli sumus.

SYNC. I will credit it badly, and yet I will credit it.
but keep this tacit with yourself. MIL. It is not better credited on a pledge of faith. 890
speak (there is place and occasion) freely: here we are alone.

SY. Erus si tuos volt facere frugem, meum erum perdet. MI. Qui id potest?
SYNC. Facile.

SY. If your master wants to bear fruit, he will ruin my master. MI. How is that possible?
SYNC. Easily.

MIL. Fac ergo id facile noscam ego, ut ille possit noscere.
S. Quia Adelphasium, quam erus deamat tuos, ingenuast. M. Quo modo?

MIL. So make it so that I may easily know it, so that he can know it.
S. Because Adelphasium, whom your master is enamored of, is freeborn. M. How so?

SYNC. Eodem quo soror illius altera Anterastilis. 895
MIL. Cedo qui id credam. SYNC. Quia illas emit in Anactorio parvolas
de praedone Siculo. MIL. Quanti?

SYNC. In the same way as her other sister, Anterastilis. 895
MIL. Tell me, how am I to believe that? SYNC. Because he bought those girls in Anactorium
when they were tiny, from a Sicilian pirate. MIL. For how much?

SYNC. Duodeviginti minis,
duas illas et Giddenenem nutricem earum tertiam.
et ille qui eas vendebat dixit se furtivas vendere:
ingenuas Carthagine aibat esse. MIL. Di vostram fidem, 900
nimium lepidum memoras facinus.

SYNC. For eighteen minas,
those two and Giddenene, their nurse, as the third.
and the man who was selling them said he was selling them as stolen;
he averred they were freeborn at Carthage. MIL. Gods, your good faith, 900
you recount an exceedingly pretty exploit.

nam erus meus Agorastocles
ibidem gnatust, inde surptus fere sexennis, postibi
qui eum surrupuit huc devexit meoque ero eum hic vendidit.
is in divitias homo adoptavit hunc, quom diem obiit suom.
SYNC. Omnia memoras quo id facilius fiat: manu eas adserat 905
suas popularis liberali causa.

for my master Agorastocles
was born in the same place; from there he was snatched, about six years old; afterward
the one who filched him carried him off here and sold him here to my master.
that man adopted him into his riches, when he met his day.
SYNC. You recount everything so that it may be made easier: let a compatriot assert them by hand as his own, for a liberal (i.e., freedom) cause. 905
his fellow-countryman, for the sake of liberty.

MIL. Tacitus tace modo.
SYNC. Profecto ad incitas lenonem rediget, si eas abduxerit.
MIL. Quin prius disperibit faxo, quam unam calcem civerit.

MIL. Hush, just keep quiet.
SYNC. Indeed he will reduce the pimp to extremities, if he carries them off.
MIL. Nay rather, I’ll make sure he perishes first, before he has stirred a single heel.

ita paratumst. SYNC. Ita di faxint, ne apud lenonem hunc serviam.
MIL. Hercle qui meus conlibertus faxo eris, si di volent. 910
SYNC. Ita di faxint.

So it is arranged. SYNC. So may the gods grant it, that I not serve with this pimp.
MIL. By Hercules, I’ll see to it that you’ll be my fellow-freedman, if the gods will. 910
SYNC. So may the gods grant it.

numquid aliud me morare, Milphio?
MIL. Valeas beneque ut tibi sit. SYNC. Pol istuc tibi et tuost ero in manu.

Are you detaining me for anything else, Milphio?
MIL. Farewell, and may it be well for you. SYNC. By Pollux, may that be for you and I will be in your hand.

vale et haec cura clanculum ut sint dicta. MIL. Non dictumst. vale.

farewell, and take care that these things are said clandestinely. MIL. It hasn’t been said. farewell.

S. At enim nihil est, nisi dum calet hoc agitur. M. Lepidu's, quom mones.
et ita hoc fiet.

S. But indeed it is nothing, unless this is done while it is hot. M. You’re witty, when you advise.
and so this will be done.

SYNC. Proba materies data est, si probum adhibes fabrum. 915
MIL. Potin ut taceas? SYNC. Taceo atque abeo.— MIL. Mihi commoditatem creas.
illic hinc abiit.

SYNC. Good material has been given, if you employ a good craftsman. 915
MIL. Can you be quiet? SYNC. I’m silent and I’m going.— MIL. You’re creating convenience for me.
that fellow has gone away from here.

di immortales meum erum servatum volunt
et hunc disperditum lenonem: tantum eum instat exiti.
satine prius quam unumst iniectum telum, iam instat alterum?
ibo intro, haec ut meo ero memorem.

The immortal gods wish my master to be preserved,
and this pander to be destroyed: so much destruction presses upon him.
Is it indeed that, before one missile has been cast, already another is upon him?
I will go inside, to remind my master of these things.

nam huc si ante aedes evocem, 920
quae audivistis modo, nunc si eadem hic iterum iterem, inscitiast.
[ero] uni potius intus ero odio, quam hic sim vobis omnibus.
[di immortales, quanta turba, quanta adventat calamitas
hodie ad hunc lenonem.

for if I call him out here before the house, 920
the things you have just heard—if now I repeat the same here again—it's stupidity.
[my master] I would rather be hateful to alone indoors, than be here hateful to all of you.
[Immortal gods, what a crowd, what a calamity is approaching
today to this pimp.

sed ego nunc est cum me commoror.
ita negotium institutumst, non datur cessatio; 925
nam et hoc docte consulendum, quod modo concreditumst,
et illud autem inserviendumst consilium vernaculum.
remora si sit, qui malam rem mihi det merito fecerit.

but as for me, now’s the time when I’m lingering.
so the business is instituted thus: no cessation is granted; 925
for both this must be consulted skillfully, which has just been confided,
and that homeborn counsel must, moreover, be served. if there be a hindrance, may he who has made it deserve to do me a bad turn.

nunc intro ibo: dum erus adveniat a foro, opperiar domi.—]

now I will go inside: until the master comes from the forum, I will wait at home.—]

ACTVS V

ACT 5

V.i
HANNO Yth alonim ualonuth sicorathi symacom syth      930
chy mlachthi in ythmum ysthyalm ych-ibarcu mysehi
li pho caneth yth bynuthi uad edin byn ui
bymarob syllohom alonim ubymysyrthohom
byth limmoth ynnocho thuulech-antidamas chon
ys sidobrim chi fel yth chyl is chon chen liful             935
yth binim ys dybur ch-innocho-tnu agorastocles
yth emanethi hy chirs aelichot sithi nasot
bynu yid ch-illuch ily gubulim lasibithim
bodi aly thera ynnynu yslym min cho-th iusim
Ythalonimualoniuthsicorathiisthymhimihymacomsyth     940
combaepumamitalmetlotiambeat
iulecantheconaalonimbalumbar dechor
bats . . . . hunesobinesubicsillimbalim
esseantidamossonalemuedubertefet
donobun.huneccilthumucommucroluful            945
altanimauosduberithemhuarcharistolem
sittesedanecnasotersahelicot
alemusdubertimurmucopsuistiti
aoccaaneclictorbodesiussilimlimmimcolus
deos deasque veneror, qui hanc urbem colunt,         950
ut quod de mea re huc veni rite venerim,
measque hic ut gnatas et mei fratris filium
reperire me siritis, di vostram fidem.
[quae mihi surruptae sunt et fratris filium.]
sed hic mihi antehac hospes Antidamas fuit;            955
eum fecisse aiunt, sibi quod faciundum fuit.
eius filium esse hic praedicant Agorastoclem:
ad eum hospitalem hanc tesseram mecum fero;
is in hisce habitare monstratust regionibus.

V.i
HANNO O gods and goddesses, preservers, I invoke you as helpers,      930
you rulers of this place; in my distress I lift a prayer—hear me—
that by your favor I may come to my own, and that here I may find
my daughters; and may you, gods, and you protecting powers,
grant me life to reach them—Antidamas, be my guide—
for there are signs; if the path is right, then let it indeed be right;             935
there is word that here—so they say—Agorastocles
is the son; to him I bring this token of hospitality, that he may know me;
let there be to me a way to join the lost ones,
may a good day be mine, may peace be with us, and right be with us.
O gods and goddesses, preservers; hear me, help me, come as my companions;     940
come propitious, bring what is fitting and what is right;
be merciful to me, to my house, to my blood and lineage;
let Antidamas stand ready, let help be near at hand;
let favors be given, let good guidance be bestowed;
grant me this boon; let no hindrance come, but let all come to good;            945
let the gods be with me; let right lead me to Agorastocles;
let it be set, let there be safety; may the token be recognized;
may favor be given; let my prayer be heard justly;
let the path open; let the lictor’s rod not touch me; let my limbs be safe; let my household be whole.
I worship the gods and goddesses who inhabit this city,         950
that, as I have come hither on my own business, I may have come duly,
and that here I may find my daughters and my brother’s son—
grant me to find them, by your good faith, O gods. [who have been stolen from me, and my brother’s son.]
But here formerly I had as guest-friend Antidamas;
they say he did what it was his duty to do.
They declare that his son here is Agorastocles:
to him I carry with me this token of hospitality;
he has been pointed out as dwelling in these regions.

hos percontabor qui hinc egrediuntur foras. 960

I will question those who are going out from here outside. 960

V.ii
AGORASTOCLES Ain tu tibi dixe Syncerastum, Milphio,
eas esse ingenuas ambas surrupticias
Carthaginiensis? MILPHIO Aio, et, si frugi esse vis,
eas liberali iam adseres causa manu.
nam tuom flagitiumst tuas te popularis pati 965
servire ante oculos, domi quae fuerint liberae.

5.2
AGORASTOCLES Do you say you told Syncerastus, Milphio,
that both are freeborn, the two stolen Carthaginian girls?
MILPHIO I say so; and, if you wish to be a decent man, you will now assert them into liberty by the hand in a cause of liberty.
for it is your disgrace to allow your fellow-countrywomen 965
to serve before your eyes, who at home were free.

HAN. Pro di immortales, opsecro vostram fidem,
quam orationem hanc aures dulcem devorant.
creta est profecto horum hominum oratio,
ut mi apsterserunt omnem sorditudinem. 970
AGOR. Si ad eam rem testis habeam, faciam quod iubes.
MIL. Quid tu mihi testis?

HAN. O immortal gods, I implore your good faith,
how my ears devour this sweet oration.
the oration of these men is surely chalk-marked,
since they have wiped off all foulness from me. 970
AGOR. If I should have a witness for that matter, I will do what you bid.
MIL. What—you, a witness for me?

quin tu insistis fortiter?
aliqua Fortuna fuerit adiutrix tibi.
AGOR. Incipere multost quam impetrare facilius.

Why don’t you press on bravely?
Some Fortune will be a helper to you.
AGOR. To begin is much easier than to obtain.

MIL. Sed quae illaec avis est, quae huc cum tunicis advenit? 975
numnam in balineis circumductust pallio?
AGOR. Facies quidem edepol Punicast. MIL. Guggast homo.

MIL. But what bird is that, who has come here with tunics? 975
Has he perchance been wrapped in a pallium at the baths?
AGOR. His face, by Pollux, is Punic indeed. MIL. The man gabbles.

servos quidem edepol veteres antiquosque habet.
AGOR. Qui scis? MIL. Viden homines sarcinatos consequi?

indeed, by Pollux, he has slaves old and ancient.
AGOR. How do you know? MIL. Do you see the pack-laden men following?

~ atque ut opinor digitos in manibus non habent. 980
AGOR. Quid iam? MIL. Quia incedunt cum anulatis auribus.
HAN. Adibo hosce atque appellabo Punice.

~ and, as I opine, they do not have digits on their hands. 980
AGOR. What now? MIL. Because they go with annulated ears.
HAN. I will approach these and address them in Punic.

si respondebunt, Punice pergam loqui;
si non, tum ad horum mores linguam vertero.
MIL. Quid ais tu? ecquid commeministi Punice? 985
AGOR. Nihil edepol. nam qui scire potui, dic mihi,
qui illim sexennis perierim Carthagine?

if they answer, I will proceed to speak in Punic;
if not, then I will turn my tongue to these men’s customs.
MIL. What say you? Have you remembered anything in Punic? 985
AGOR. Nothing, by Pollux. For how could I know, tell me,
since there, at six years old, I was lost in Carthage?

HAN. Pro di immortales, plurumi ad illum modum
periere pueri liberi Carthagine.
MIL. Quid ais tu? AGOR. Quid vis? MIL. Vin appellem hunc Punice? 990
AGOR. An scis?

HAN. By the immortal gods, very many in that manner
have perished, freeborn boys, at Carthage.
MIL. What do you say? AGOR. What do you want? MIL. Do you want me to address this man in Punic? 990
AGOR. Do you know it?

MIL. Nullus me est hodie Poenus Poenior.
AGOR. Adi atque appella, quid velit, quid venerit,
qui sit, quoiatis, unde sit: ne parseris.
MIL. Avo.

MIL. There’s no Carthaginian today more Carthaginian than I.
AGOR. Go up and accost him—what he wants, why he has come, who he is, of what country he is, whence he is: do not spare him.
who he is, of what country he is, whence he is: do not spare him.
MIL. Hail.

quoiates estis aut quo ex oppido?
HAN. Anno byn mytthymballe udradait annech. 995
AGOR. Quid ait? MIL. Hannonem se esse ait Carthagine,
Carthaginiensis Mytthumbalis filium.

What countrymen are you, or from what town?
HAN. I am Hanno, son of Mytthymbal, of Carthage. 995
AGOR. What does he say? MIL. He says he is Hanno of Carthage,
a Carthaginian, son of Mytthumbalus.

HAN. Avo. MIL. Salutat. HAN. Donni.

HAN. Hail. MIL. He salutes. HAN. Lord.

MIL. Doni volt tibi
dare hic nescio quid. audin pollicitarier?
AGOR. Saluta hunc rursus Punice verbis meis. 1000
MIL. Avo donni inquit hic tibi verbis suis.

MIL.
He wants to give you
I know not what as a gift. Do you hear him promising?
AGOR. Greet this man again in Punic with my words. 1000
MIL. “Avo donni,” says he to you in his own words.

HAN. Me har bocca. MIL. Istuc tibi sit potius quam mihi.
AGOR. Quid ait?

HAN. A blessing upon you. MIL. Let that be for you rather than for me.
AGOR. What does he say?

MIL. Miseram esse praedicat buccam sibi.
fortasse medicos nos esse arbitrarier.
AGOR. Si <ita> est, nega esse; nolo ego errare hospitem. 1005
MIL. Audin tu? HAN. Rufeyn nyccho issam.

MIL. He proclaims that his cheek is wretched to him.
perhaps he supposes us to be medics.
AGOR. If that is so, deny that we are; I do not want the guest to err. 1005
MIL. Do you hear? HAN. Rufeyn nyccho issam.

AGOR. Sic volo
profecto vera cuncta huic expedirier.
roga numquid opus sit. MIL. Tu qui zonam non habes,
quid in hanc venistis urbem aut quid quaeritis?

AGOR. Thus I wish
indeed that all the true things be set forth to him.
ask whether there is any need. MIL. You, who have no girdle,
why have you come into this city, or what are you seeking?

H. Muphursa. A. Quid ait? H. Miuulec hianna.

H. Muphursa. A. What does he say? H. Miuulec hianna.

A. Quid venit? 1010
MIL. Non audis? mures Africanos praedicat
in pompam ludis dare se velle aedilibus.
HAN. Lech lachanna nilimniichto.

A. What’s he come for? 1010
MIL. Don’t you hear? He’s proclaiming that he wants to give African mice to the aediles for the pomp in the games.
HAN. Lech lachanna nilimniichto.

AGOR. Quid nunc ait?
MIL. Ligulas, canalis ait se advexisse et nuces:
nunc orat, operam ut des sibi, ut ea veneant. 1015
AGOR. Mercator credo est. HAN. Assam.

AGOR. What does he say now?
MIL. He says he has brought little straps, pipes, and nuts: now he begs that you give him your help, so that these may be sold. 1015
AGOR. I think he’s a merchant. HAN. Assam.

MIL. Arvinam quidem.
HAN. Palu mirga detha. AGOR. Milphio, quid nunc ait?

MIL. Lard indeed.
HAN. Palu mirga detha. AGOR. Milphio, what does he say now?

MIL. Palas vendundas sibi ait et mergas datas,
ad messim credo, nisi quid tu aliud sapis.
[ut hortum fodiat atque ut frumentum metat.] 1020
AGOR. Quid istuc ad me? MIL. Certiorem te esse volt,
ne quid clam furtim se accepisse censeas.
HAN. Mufonnim siccoratim.

MIL. He says he has spades for sale for himself and rakes consigned,
for the harvest, I think, unless you know something else.
[so that he may dig the garden and reap the grain.] 1020
AGOR. What’s that to me? MIL. He wants you to be made certain,
lest you suppose that he has received anything secretly by stealth.
HAN. Mufonnim siccoratim.

MIL. Hem, cave sis feceris
quod hic te orat. AGOR. Quid ait aut quid orat? expedi.

MIL. Hey, please don’t do
what this fellow begs you. AGOR. What does he say, or what does he beg? Expound.

MIL. Sub cratim ut iubeas se supponi atque eo 1025
lapides imponi multos, ut sese neces.
HAN. Gunebbal samem lyryla. AGOR. Narra, quid est?

MIL. That you order him to be put under a hurdle and that many stones be imposed upon it, so that he may kill himself. 1025
HAN. Gunebbal samem lyryla. AGOR. Tell, what is it?

quid ait? MIL. Non hercle nunc quidem quicquam scio.
HANN. At ut scias, nunc dehinc latine iam loquar.

what does he say? MIL. By Hercules, right now indeed I know nothing.
HANN. But so that you may know, from now on I will speak Latin.

servom hercle te esse oportet et nequam et malum, 1030
hominem peregrinum atque advenam qui inrideas.
MIL. At hercle te hominem et sycophantam et subdolum,
qui huc advenisti nos captatum, migdilix,
bisulci lingua quasi proserpens bestia.
AGOR. Maledicta hinc aufer, linguam compescas face. 1035
maledicere huic tu temperabis, si sapis.

By Hercules, you must be a slave, and a good-for-nothing and a wicked one, 1030
a peregrine man and an adventive newcomer, who jeer.
MIL. But, by Hercules, you are a man and a sycophant and subdolous,
who have come here to catch us out, migdilix,
with a cloven tongue like a creeping beast.
AGOR. Take your maledictions away from here; see that you restrain your tongue. 1035
You will refrain from reviling this man, if you are wise.

meis consanguineis nolo te iniuste loqui.
Carthagini ego sum gnatus, ut tu sis sciens.
HAN. O mi popularis, salve.

I do not want you to speak unjustly of my consanguines.
I was born at Carthage, so that you may know.
HAN. O my compatriot, hail.

AGOR. Et tu edepol, quisquis es.
et si quid opus est, quaeso, dic atque impera 1040
popularitatis causa. HAN. Habeo gratiam.
[verum ego hic hospitium habeo: Antidamae filium
quaero (commostra si novisti) Agorastoclem.]
sed ecquem adulescentem tu hic novisti Agorastoclem?

AGOR. And you too, by Pollux, whoever you are.
and if there is any need, I pray, say and give orders for the sake of compatriotship 1040
HAN. I am grateful.
[but I have lodging here: I seek Antidamas’s son (point him out, if you know him), Agorastocles.]
but do you know here any young man Agorastocles?

AGOR. Siquidem Antidamai quaeris adoptaticium, 1045
ego sum ipsus quem tu quaeris. HAN. Hem, quid ego audio?
AGOR. Antidamae gnatum me esse.

AGOR. Since indeed you are seeking Antidamas’s adoptive son, 1045
I am the very one whom you seek. HAN. Ha, what do I hear?
AGOR. That I am the son of Antidamas.

HAN. Si itast, tesseram
conferre si vis hospitalem, eccam attuli.
AGOR. Agedum huc ostende. est par probe, quam habeo domi.

HAN. If it is so, if you wish to compare the token of hospitality, look, I have brought it.
AGOR. Come then, show it here. It is an exact match for the one I have at home.

HAN. O mi hospes, salve multum. nam mihi tuos pater 1050
patritus ~ ergo hospes Antidamas fuit.
haec mi hospitalis tessera cum illo fuit.

HAN. O my guest, many greetings. for to me your father 1050
was a paternal (inherited) guest-friend; ~ therefore Antidamas was a guest-friend.
this hospitality tessera was mine with him.

AGOR. Ergo hic apud me hospitium tibi praebebitur.
nam haud repudio hospitium neque Carthaginem,
unde sum oriundus. HAN. Di dent tibi omnes quae velis. 1055
quid ais?

AGOR. Therefore here at my house lodging will be provided for you.
for I by no means repudiate hospitality nor Carthage,
whence I am originated. HAN. May all the gods grant you whatever you wish. 1055
what do you say?

qui potuit fieri, ut Carthagini
gnatus sis? hic autem habuisti Aetolum patrem.
AGOR. Surruptus sum illinc.

how could it have come to pass, that you were born at Carthage?
and yet here you had an Aetolian father.
AGOR. I was surreptitiously stolen from there.

hic me Antidama hospes tuos
emit, et is me sibi adoptavit filium.
HAN. Demarcho item ipse fuit adoptaticius. 1060
sed mitto de illoc, ad te redeo. dic mihi,
ecquid meministi tuom parentum nomina,
patris atque matris?

here your host Antidama bought me,
and he adopted me to himself as a son.
HAN. Demarchus likewise himself was adopted. 1060
but I pass over that; I return to you. Tell me,
do you remember at all the names of your parents,
your father and your mother?

AGOR. Memini. HAN. Memoradum mihi,
si novi forte aut si sunt cognati mihi.
AGOR. Ampsigura mater mihi fuit, Iahon pater. 1065
HAN. Patrem atque matrem viverent vellem tibi.

AGOR. I remember. HAN. You must tell them to me,
if perchance I know them or if they are kindred to me.
AGOR. My mother was Ampsigura, my father Iahon. 1065
HAN. I wish your father and mother were alive for you.

AGOR. An mortui sunt? HAN. Factum, quod aegre tuli. ~
nam mihi sobrina Ampsigura tua mater fuit;
pater tuos, is erat frater patruelis meus,
et is me heredem fecit, quom suom obiit diem, 1070
quo me privatum aegre patior mortuo.

AGOR. Are they dead? HAN. It has happened—a thing I took hard. ~
for to me your mother Ampsigura was my cousin on my mother’s side;
your father, he was my paternal cousin,
and he made me heir, when he met his day, 1070
by whose death I can scarcely endure being bereft.

sed si ita est, ut tu sis Iahonis filius,
signum esse oportet in manu laeva tibi,
ludenti puero quod memordit simia.
ostende, inspiciam. <AGOR. Em ostendo.> HAN. Aperi.

but if it is so, that you are the son of Iahon,
there ought to be a mark on your left hand,
which a monkey bit when you were a boy at play.
show it, I will inspect. <AGOR. Here—I'm showing.> HAN. Open.

audi atque ades: 1075
* * * 1075a
AGOR. Mi patrue, salve. HAN. Et tu salve, Agorastocles.
iterum mihi gnatus videor, quom te repperi.

Listen and attend: 1075
* * * 1075a
AGOR. My uncle, hail. HAN. And you, hail, Agorastocles.
I seem to myself to be born again, since I have found you.

MIL. Pol istam rem vobis bene evenisse gaudeo.
sed te moneri num nevis? HAN. Sane volo.

MIL. By Pollux, I rejoice that that matter has turned out well for you.
but do you not wish to be advised? HAN. Indeed, I do wish it.

MIL. Paterna oportet filio reddi bona. 1080
aequomst habere hunc bona quae possedit pater.
HAN. Haud postulo aliter: restituentur omnia;
suam sibi rem salvam sistam, si illo advenerit.
MIL. Facito sis reddas, etsi hic habitabit, tamen.

MIL. Paternal goods ought to be returned to the son. 1080
it is equitable that this man have the goods which his father possessed.
HAN. I do not ask otherwise: all shall be restored;
I will set his property safe and sound for himself, if he comes thither.
MIL. Do see to it, please, that you return them, even if he will live here, nevertheless.

HAN. Quin mea quoque iste habebit, si quid me fuat. 1085
MIL. Festivom facinus venit mi in mentem modo.
HAN. Quid id est? MIL. Tua opus est opera.

HAN. Why, that fellow shall have mine too, if anything be mine. 1085
MIL. An amusing deed has just come into my mind.
HAN. What is that? MIL. There is need of your help.

HAN. Dic mihi quid lubet:
profecto uteris, ut voles, operam meam.
quid est negoti? MIL. Potin tu fieri subdolus?

HAN. Tell me what you please:
surely you shall use, as you wish, my service.
what is the business? MIL. Can you manage to become subdolous?

HAN. Inimico possum, amico insipientia est. 1090
MIL. Inimicus hercle est huius. HAN. Male faxim lubens.
MIL. Amat ab lenone hic.

HAN. I can for an enemy; for a friend it is folly. 1090
MIL. By Hercules, he is this fellow’s enemy. HAN. I’d gladly do him ill.
MIL. This man is in love with a woman owned by a pimp.

HAN. Facere sapienter puto.
MIL. Leno hic habitat vicinus. HAN. Male faxim lubens.

HAN. I think it is wise to do so.
MIL. The pimp lives here, a neighbor. HAN. I’d gladly do him a bad turn.

MIL. Ei duae puellae sunt meretrices servolae
sorores: earum hic alteram efflictim perit, 1095
neque eam incestavit umquam. HAN. Acerba amatiost.
MIL. Hunc leno ludificatur.

MIL. There are two girls, little slave-girl courtesans, sisters: of them, this man is dying desperately for one, 1095
nor has he ever defiled her. HAN. A bitter love it is.
MIL. The pimp is making sport of him.

HAN. Suom quaestum colit.
MIL. Hic illi malam rem dare volt. HAN. Frugist, si id facit.

HAN. He pursues his own profit.
MIL. This fellow wants to do him a bad turn. HAN. He’s a man of character, if he
does that.

MIL. Nunc hoc consilium capio et hanc fabricam apparo,
ut te allegemus, filias dicas tuas 1100
surruptasque esse parvolas Carthagine ***
manu liberali causa ambas adseras,
quasi filiae tuae sint. iamne intellegis?
HAN. Intellego hercle.

MIL. Now I take this counsel and prepare this fabrication,
so that we may allege you, you declare them to be your daughters 1100
and that, as very little girls, they were surreptitiously stolen at Carthage ***
that, with the liberal hand, in a cause of liberty, you assert both,
as if they were your daughters. Do you understand now?
HAN. I understand, by Hercules.

nam mihi item gnatae duae
cum nutrice una sunt surruptae parvolae. 1105
MIL. Lepide hercle adsimulas. iam in principio id mihi placet.
HAN. Pol magis quam vellem.

for to me likewise my two daughters
together with a single nurse were stolen as little girls. 1105
MIL. Cleverly, by Hercules, you play along. Already at the outset that pleases me.
HAN. By Pollux, more than I would wish.

MIL. Eu hercle mortalem catum,
*** malum crudumque, estolidum et subdolum.
ut adflet, quo illud gestu faciat facilius.
me quoque dolis iam superat architectonem. 1110
HAN. Sed earum nutrix qua sit facie, mi expedi.

MIL. Ah, by Hercules, a shrewd mortal,
*** bad and crude, stolid and subdolous.
how he weeps, so that by his gesture he may do that more easily.
he even now with his wiles surpasses me, the architect. 1110
HAN. But explain to me what the nurse of those girls is like in appearance, please.

MIL. Statura hau magna, corpore aquilost. HAN. Ipsa east.
MIL. Specie venusta, ore atque oculis pernigris.

MIL. Of not great stature, with a swarthy body. HAN. She’s the very one.
MIL. Of comely aspect, with a very black countenance and eyes.

HAN. Formam quidem hercle verbis depinxti probe.
MIL. Vin eam videre? HAN. Filias malo meas. 1115
sed i atque evoca illam; si eae meae sunt filiae,
si illarum est nutrix, me continuo noverit.

HAN. By Hercules, you have indeed depicted her form well with words.
MIL. Do you want to see her? HAN. I’d rather see my own daughters. 1115
But go and call her out; if those are my daughters,
if she is their nurse, she will recognize me immediately.

MIL. Heus, ecquis hic est? nuntiate ut prodeat
foras Giddeneni. est qui illam conventam esse volt.

MIL. Hey, is anyone here? Announce that Giddeneni come out outside;
there’s someone who wants to meet her.

V.iii
GIDDENES Quis pultat? MIL. Qui te proximust. GIDD. Quid vis?

V.iii
GIDDENES Who’s knocking? MIL. The one nearest to you. GIDD. What do you want?

MIL. Eho, 1120
novistin tu illunc tunicatum hominem qui siet?
GIDD. Nam quem ego aspicio? pro supreme Iuppiter,
erus meus hic quidem est, mearum alumnarum pater,
Hanno Carthaginiensis.

MIL. Hey, 1120
do you know who that tunic-clad man is?
GIDD. Why, whom do I behold? By highest Jupiter,
this is indeed my master, the father of my foster-daughters,
Hanno the Carthaginian.

MIL. Ecce autem mala.
[praestrigiator hic quidem Poenus probust, 1125
perduxit omnis ad suam sententiam.]
GIDD. O mi ere, salve, Hanno, insperatissume
mihi tuisque filiis, salve atque— eho,
mirari noli neque me contemplarier.
cognoscin Giddenenem ancillam tuam? 1130
HAN. Novi.

MIL. But look, trouble.
[This Punic fellow is indeed a first-rate conjurer, he’s excellent, 1125
he has led everyone over to his own opinion.]
GIDD. O my master, greetings, Hanno, most unlooked-for to me and to your sons, greetings and— hey,
don’t be amazed nor stare at me.
do you recognize Giddene, your handmaid? 1130
HAN. I know her.

sed ubi sunt meae gnatae? id scire expeto.
GIDD. Apud aedem Veneris.

but where are my daughters? that I desire to know.
GIDD. At the temple of Venus.

HAN. Quid ibi faciunt? dic mihi.
GIDD. Aphrodisia hodie Veneris est festus dies:
oratum ierunt deam, ut sibi esset propitia.

HAN. What are they doing there? tell me.
GIDD. Today is Venus’s festal day, the Aphrodisia:
they have gone to pray to the goddess, that she may be propitious to them.

MIL. Pol satis scio, impetrarunt, quando hic hic adest. 1135
AGOR. Eho an huius sunt illae filiae? GIDD. Ita ut praedicas.
tua pietas nobis plane auxilio fuit,
quom huc advenisti hodie in ipso tempore;
namque hodie earum mutarentur nomina
facerentque indignum genere quaestum corpore. 1140
PVER Auamma illi.

MIL. By Pollux, I know well enough, they have obtained their request, since this fellow here is present. 1135
AGOR. Hey, are those girls his daughters? GIDD. Just as you predict.
your pietas has plainly been a help to us,
since you arrived here today at the very moment;
for today their names would have been changed,
and they would have made with their body a gain unworthy of their stock. 1140
BOY Auamma to him.

GIDD. Hauon bane silli in mustine.
Mepstaetemes tas dum et alanna cestimim.
AGOR. Quid illi locuti sunt inter se? dic mihi.

GIDD. [speaks in an unknown tongue.]
[continues in the same tongue.]
AGOR. What did they say among themselves? tell me.

HAN. Matrem hic salutat suam, haec autem hunc filium.
tace atque parce muliebri supellectili. 1145
AGOR. Quae east supellex? HAN. Clarus clamor.

HAN. He greets his mother here, and she in turn him as her son.
be silent and spare the womanly paraphernalia. 1145
AGOR. What is that paraphernalia? HAN. A loud clamor.

AGOR. Sine modo.
HAN. Tu abduc hosce intro; et una nutricem simul
iube hanc abire hinc ad te. AGOR. Fac quod imperat.
MIL. Sed quis illas tibi monstrabit?

AGOR. Let it be, for now.
HAN. You lead these men inside; and at the same time order this nurse to go away from here to you.
AGOR. Do what he orders.
MIL. But who will show them to you?

AGOR. Ego doctissume.
MIL. Abeo igitur. AGOR. Facias modo quam memores mavelim. 1150
patruo advenienti cena curetur volo.

AGOR. I will, most learned sir.
MIL. I’m off, then. AGOR. Only do it, and be as mindful as I would prefer. 1150
I want a dinner to be taken care of for my uncle on his arrival.

MIL. Lachanna vos, quos ego iam detrudam ad molas,
inde porro ad puteum atque ad robustum codicem.
ego faxo hospitium hoc leniter laudabitis.—
AGOR. Audin tu, patrue? dico, ne dictum neges: 1155
tuam mihi maiorem filiam despondeas.

MIL. Cabbage-heads, you lot, whom I’ll now shove down to the millstones,
then further to the well and to the robust trunk.
I’ll see to it you praise this hospitality softly.—
AGOR. Do you hear, uncle? I say it, so don’t deny it later: 1155
betroth your elder daughter to me.

HAN. Pactam rem habeto. AGOR. Spondesne igitur? HAN. Spondeo.

HAN. Have the matter as a pact. AGOR. Do you pledge then? HAN. I pledge.

AGOR. Mi patrue, salve. nam nunc es plane meus.
nunc demum ego cum illa fabulabor libere.

AGOR. My uncle, hail. For now you are plainly mine.
Now at last I will converse with her freely.

nunc, patrue, si vis tuas videre filias, 1160
me sequere. HAN. Iamdudum equidem cupio, et te sequor.
[AGOR. Quid si eamus illis obviam?

now, uncle, if you wish to see your daughters, 1160
follow me. HAN. I have long indeed desired it, and I follow you.
[AGOR. What if we go to meet them?

HAN. At ne intervias
praeterbitamus metuo. magne Iuppiter,
restitue certas mi ex incertis nunc opes.
AGOR. ~ Ego quidem meos amores mecum confido fore.] 1165
sed eccas video ipsas.

HAN. But I fear lest by the by-streets
we pass them by. Great Jupiter,
restore for me sure resources now out of uncertain ones.
AGOR. ~ As for me, I am confident my loves will be with me.] 1165
but look—there they are; I see them.

HAN. Haecine meae sunt filiae?
quantae e quantillis iam sunt factae. AGOR. Scin quid est?

HAN. Are these my daughters?
how great from such very small ones they have now been made. AGOR. Do you know what it is?

tragicae sunt: in calones sustolli solent.
[MIL. Opino hercle hodie, quod ego dixi per iocum,
id eventurum esse et severum et serium, 1170
ut haec inveniantur hodie esse huius filiae.
AGOR. Pol istuc quidem iam certum est.

they are tragic: they are wont to be hoisted up among the camp-servants.
[MIL. By Hercules, I opine today that what I said in jest
will come to pass both severe and serious, 1170
that these will be found today to be this man’s daughters.
AGOR. By Pollux, that indeed is now certain.

tu istos, Milphio,
abduce intro. nos hasce hic praestolabimur.]

you, Milphio,
lead those inside. we will wait here for these here.]

V.iv
ADELPHASIVM Fuit hodie operae pretium cuivis qui amabilitati animum adiceret,
oculis epulas dare, delubrum qui hodie ornatum eo visere venit. 1175
deamavi ecastor illi hodie lepidissima munera meretricum,
digna dea venustissima Venere, neque contempsi eius opes hodie.
tanta ibi copia venustatum aderat, in suo quique loco sita munde.
aras tus, murrinus, omnis odor
complebat.

V.iv
ADELPHASIUM It was today worth the effort for anyone who would apply his mind to amiability,
to give banquets to the eyes, who came today to visit the shrine adorned in that way. 1175
By Castor, I today endowed that goddess with the most charming gifts of courtesans,
worthy of the goddess, most winsome Venus, nor did I despise her wealth today.
so great a plenty of charms was present there, neatly set each in its own place.
the altars frankincense, myrrh, every odor
was filling.

haud sordere visust
festus dies, Venus, nec tuom fanum: 1180
tantus ibi clientarum erat numerus,
quae ad Calydoniam venerant Venerem.
ANTERASTILIS Certo enim, quod quidem ad nos duas
attinuit, praepotentes pulchre
pacisque potentes, soror, fuimus,
neque ab iuventute inibi inridiculo
habitae, quod pol,
soror, ceteris omnibus factumst.
AD. Malim istuc aliis videatur, quam uti tu te, soror, conlaudes.

it did not seem sordid, Venus, the festive day, nor your fane: 1180
so great there was the number of female clients there,
who had come to the Calydonian Venus.
ANTERASTILIS For indeed, so far as it concerned the two of us,
we were prepotent finely,
and potent for peace, sister,
nor were we held there in ridicule by the youth,
which, by Pollux,
sister, befell all the others.
AD. I would rather that seem so to others than that you, sister, praise yourself.

ANT. Spero equidem. AD. Et pol ego, quom, ingeniis quibus sumus       1185
     atque aliae, gnosco;
eo sumus gnatae genere, ut deceat nos esse a culpa castas.
HAN. Iuppiter, qui genus colis alisque hominum, per quem vivimus vitalem aevom,
quem penes spes vitae sunt hominum omnium, da diem hunc sospitem quaeso,
~ rebus meis agundis, ut quibus annos multos carui quasque <e> patria
perdidi parvas ~ redde is libertatem, invictae praemium ut esse sciam pietati.   1190
AGOR. Omnia faciet Iuppiter faxo,
nam mi est obnoxius et me
metuit.

ANT. I hope indeed. AD. And by Pollux I too, when, with the dispositions which we have       1185
     and the others, I recognize; we are born of such a lineage, that it befits us to be chaste from fault.
HAN. Jupiter, who tend and nourish the race of men, through whom we live the vital lifetime,
in whose power are the hopes of the life of all men, grant this day safe, I pray,
~ for my affairs to be managed, that those whom for many years I have lacked and whom from my fatherland
I lost as little ones ~ restore to them freedom, that I may know it to be the prize of unconquered piety.   1190
AGOR. I will make sure Jupiter does all things,
for he is beholden to me and he
fears me.

HAN. Tace quaeso.
AGOR. Ne lacruma, patrue. 1191a
ANT. Vt volup est homini, mea soror, si quod agit cluet victoria;
sicut nos hodie inter alias praestitimus pulchritudine.
AD. Stulta, soror, magis es quam volo.

HAN. Be silent, I beg.
AGOR. Do not weep, uncle. 1191a
ANT. How pleasant it is to a man, my sister, if what he does is crowned with victory;
just as we today among the others have excelled in pulchritude.
AD. Foolish, sister, you are more than I would wish.

an tu eo pulchra videre, obsecro,
si tibi illi non os oblitumst fuligine? 1195
AGOR. O patrue, o patrue mi. HAN. Quid est,
fratris mei gnate, gnate, quid vis? expedi.
AGOR. At enim hoc volo agas.

or do you for that reason seem the more beautiful, I beg,
if that face of yours there is not smeared with soot? 1195
AGOR. O uncle, O my uncle. HAN. What is it,
son of my brother, son, what do you want? Unfold it.
AGOR. But indeed this I want you to do.

HAN. At enim ago istuc.
AGOR. <O> patrue mi patruissime.
HAN. Quid est?

HAN. But indeed I am doing that.
AGOR. <O> my uncle, my most unclely uncle.
HAN. What is it?

AGOR. Est lepida et lauta. ut sapit.
HAN. Ingenium patris habet quod sapit.

AGOR. She is charming and polished. How sapient she is!
HAN. She has her father’s genius, in that she is sapient.

AG. Quae res? iam diu edepol sapientiam tuam haec quidem abusast.
nunc hinc sapit, hinc sentit, quidquid sapit, ex meo amore. 1200
AD. Non eo genere sumus prognatae, tam etsi sumus servae, soror,
ut deceat nos facere quicquam quod homo quisquam inrideat.

AG. What’s the matter? Indeed, by Pollux, this one has for a long time abused your wisdom. Now she has sense from here, feeling from here—whatever sense she has is from my love. 1200
AD. We are not born of that sort, even if we are slave-women, sister, such that it would be seemly for us to do anything that any man would deride.

multa mulierum sunt vitia, sed hoc e multis maxumumst,
quom sibi nimis placent minusque addunt operam, uti placeant viris.
ANT. Nimiae voluptatist quod in extis nostris portentumst, soror, 1205
quodque haruspex de ambabus dixit. AGOR. Velim de me aliquid dixerit.

many are the vices of women, but this from among many is the greatest,
when they please themselves too much and add less effort, so that they may please men.
ANT. It is a portent of excessive pleasure, that which is in our entrails, sister, 1205
and what the haruspex said about both of us. AGOR. I wish he had said something
about me.

ANT. Nos fore invito domino nostro diebus paucis liberas.
id ego nisi quid di aut parentes faxint, qui sperem hau scio.
AGOR. Mea fiducia hercle haruspex, patrue, his promisit, scio,
libertatem, quia me amare hanc scit.

ANT. We shall be free, our master unwilling, in a few days.
As for that, unless the gods or our parents do something, on whom to place hope I do not know.
AGOR. On my assurance, by Hercules, uncle, the haruspex, I know, has promised to these liberty,
because he knows that I love this woman.

AD. Soror, sequere hac. AN. Sequor. 1210
HAN. Prius quam abitis, vos volo ambas. nisi piget, consistite.

AD. Sister, follow this way. AN. I follow. 1210
HAN. Before you go, I want you both; unless it irks you, stand still.

AD. Quis revocat? AG. Qui bene volt vobis facere. AD. Facere occasiost.

AD. Who calls us back? AG. He who wants to do well by you. AD. It is the occasion for doing it.

sed quis homost? AG. Amicus vobis. AD. Qui quidem inimicus non siet.

but who is the man? AG. A friend to you. AD. Who at least may not be inimical.

AG. Bonus est hic homo, mea voluptas. AD. Pol istum malim quam malum.
AGOR. Siquidem amicitiast habenda, cum hoc habendast.

AG. This man is good, my delight. AD. By Pollux, I’d rather have that one than a bad one.
AGOR. Since indeed friendship is to be had, with this man it is to be had.

AD. Hau precor. 1215
AGOR. Multa bona volt vobis facere. AD. Bonus bonis bene feceris.
[HAN. Gaudio ero vobis.

AD. No, I pray. 1215
AGOR. He wants to do many good things for you. AD. A good man, you will have done well to the good.
[HAN. I shall be a joy to you.

AD. At edepol nos voluptati tibi.
HAN. Libertatique. AD. Istoc pretio tuas nos facile feceris.]
AGOR. Patrue mi, ita me di amabunt, ut ego, si sim Iuppiter,
iam hercle ego illam uxorem ducam et Iunonem extrudam foras. 1220
ut pudice verba fecit, cogitate et commode,
ut modeste orationem praebuit.

AD. But, by Pollux, we are a pleasure to you.
HAN. And to your liberty. AD. At that price you will easily make us yours.]
AGOR. My uncle, so may the gods love me, that I, if I were Jupiter,
right now, by Hercules, I would take her as wife and drive Juno out of doors. 1220
how chastely she spoke, thoughtfully and fittingly,
how modestly she offered her oration.

HAN. Certo haec meast.
sed ut astu sum adgressus ad eas. AGOR. Lepide hercle atque commode.

HAN. Surely, this is mine.
but how by craft I approached them. AGOR. Cleverly, by Hercules, and suitably.

HAN. Pergo etiam temptare? AGOR. In pauca confer: sitiunt qui sedent.
HAN. Quid istic?

HAN. Shall I go on trying? AGOR. Put it into a few words: those who sit are thirsty.
HAN. What then?

quod faciundumst cur non agimus? in ius vos voco. 1225
AGOR. Nunc, patrue, tu frugi bonae es. tene. vin ego hanc adprendam?

what must be done—why are we not doing it? I call you into court. 1225
AGOR. Now, uncle, you are of good thrift. Hold her. Do you want me to seize this one?

AD. An patruos est, Agorastocles, tuos hic? AGOR. Iam faxo scibis.
nunc pol ego te ulciscar probe, nam faxo— mea eris sponsa.

AD. Is this your uncle, Agorastocles, here? AGOR. I’ll see to it you know at once.
now, by Pollux, I’ll duly avenge myself on you, for I’ll see to it— you will be my spouse-to-be.

HAN. Ite in ius, ne moramini. antestare me atque duce.
AGOR. Ego te antestabor, postea hanc amabo atque amplexabor. 1230
sed illud quidem volui dicere— immo hercle dixi quod volebam.

HAN. Go into court, do not delay. call me to witness and lead on.
AGOR. I will call you to witness; afterward I will love and embrace her. 1230
but indeed I wanted to say that— nay, by Hercules, I said what I wanted.

HAN. Moramini. in ius vos voco, nisi honestiust prehendi.
AD. Quid in ius vocas nos?

HAN. Wait. I summon you into court, unless it is more honest to apprehend you.
AD. Why do you call us into court?

quid tibi debemus? AGOR. Dicet illi.
AD. Etiam me meae latrant canes?

what do we owe you? AGOR. He will tell him.
AD. Are my own dogs barking at me too?

AGOR. At tu hercle adludiato:
dato mihi pro offa savium, pro osse linguam obicito. 1235
ita hanc canem faciam tibi oleo tranquilliorem.
HAN. Ite si itis. AD. Quid nos fecimus tibi?

AGOR. But you, by Hercules, be toyed with:
give me, in place of a morsel, a kiss; in place of a bone, throw me your tongue. 1235
thus I’ll make this dog for you quieter than oil.
HAN. Go, if you’re going. AD. What have we done to you?

HAN. Fures estis ambae.
AD. Nosne tibi? HAN. Vos inquam.

HAN. You are both thieves.
AD. We, to you? HAN. You, I say.

AGOR. Atque ego scio. AD. Quid id furtist?
AGOR. Hunc rogato.

AGOR. And I know. AD. What theft is that?
AGOR. Ask this fellow.

HAN. Quia annos multos filias meas celavistis clam me,
atque equidem ingenuas liberas summoque genere gnatas. 1240
AD. Numquam mecastor reperies tu istuc probrum penes nos.
AGOR. Da pignus, ni nunc perieres, in savium, uter utri det.
AD. Nil tecum ago, apscede opsecro.

HAN. Because for many years you have concealed my daughters from me in secret,
and indeed freeborn, free, and born of the highest lineage. 1240
AD. By Castor, you will never find that disgrace with us.
AGOR. Stake a pledge—lest you perish now—on a kiss, which one gives to which.
AD. I have nothing to do with you; step aside, I beseech.

AG. Atque hercle mecum agendum est.
nam hic patruos meus est, pro hoc mihi patronus sim necesse est;
et praedicabo quo modo [vos] furta faciatis multa 1245
quoque modo huius filias apud vos habeatis servas,
quas vos ex patria liberas surruptas esse scitis.
AD. Vbi sunt eae?

AG. And by Hercules,
I must take action. For this man is my paternal uncle; for him I must be a patron;
and I will proclaim how [you] commit many thefts 1245
and in what way you have this man’s daughters among you as slave-girls,
whom you know to have been stolen free-born from their fatherland.
AD. Where are they?

aut quas, opsecro? AG. Satis iam sunt maceratae.
H. Quid si eloquamur?

or which ones, I beseech? AG. They are already macerated enough.
H. What if we speak out?

AG. Censeo hercle, patrue. AD. Misera timeo,
quid hoc sit negoti, mea soror; ita stupida sine animo asto. 1250
HAN. Advortite animum, mulieres. primum, si id fieri possit,
ne indigna indignis di darent, id ego evenire vellem;
nunc quod boni mihi di danunt, vobis vostraeque matri,
eas dis est aequom gratias nos agere sempiternas,
quom nostram pietatem adprobant decorantque di immortales. 1255
vos meae estis ambae filiae et hic est cognatus vester,
huiusce fratris filius, Agorastocles.

AG. I opine, by Hercules, uncle. AD. Wretched, I fear—what this business may be, my sister; thus I stand stupid, without spirit. 1250
HAN. Turn your mind to me, women. First, if that could be brought to pass,
that the gods would not give unworthy things to the unworthy, I would wish that to happen;
now, as to what good the gods grant to me, to you and to your mother,
it is just that we render to the gods those thanks everlasting,
since the immortal gods approve and adorn our pietas. 1255
you are both my daughters, and this man is your kinsman,
my brother’s son, Agorastocles.

AD. Amabo,
num hi falso oblectant gaudio nos? AGOR. At ita me di servent,
ut hic pater est vester. date manus.

AD. Please,
are these men delighting us with false joy? AGOR. But so may the gods preserve me,
that this man is your father. Give your hands.

AD. Salve, insperate nobis
pater, te complecti nos sine. ANT. Cupite atque exspectate 1260
pater, salve. AD. Ambae filiae sumus.

AD. Hail, father unhoped-for by us,
allow us to embrace you. ANT. Desired and expected 1260
father, hail. AD. We are both your daughters.

ANT. Amplectamur ambae.
AGOR. Quis me amplectetur postea? HAN. Nunc ego sum fortunatus,
multorum annorum miserias nunc hac voluptate sedo.

ANT. Let us both embrace.
AGOR. Who will embrace me afterwards? HAN. Now I am fortunate, I now soothe the miseries of many years with this voluptuous pleasure.

AD. Vix hoc videmur credere. HAN. Magis qui credatis dicam.
nam vostra nutrix ~ primum me cognovit.

AD. We hardly seem to believe this. HAN. I will say more, that you may give credence.
for your nurse ~ was the first to recognize me.

AD. Vbi ea, amabo, est? 1265
HAN. Apud hunc est. AGOR. Quaeso, qui lubet tam diu tenere collum?
omitte saltem tu altera.

AD. Where is she, please? 1265
HAN. She is with this man. AGOR. I beg, how can it please you to hold a neck so long?
at least you, the other one, let go.

nolo ego istuc. AD. Enicas me.
* * * 1267a
prius quam tibi desponderit. AGOR. Mitto.

I do not want that. AD. You are killing me.
* * * 1267a
before she has betrothed her to you. AGOR. I let it go.

AD. Sperate, salve.
HAN. Condamus alter alterum ergo in nervom bracchialem.
quibus nunc in terra melius est?

AD. Sperate, hello.
HAN. Then let each of us bury the other into the brachial sinew.
to whom now on earth is it better?

AGOR. Eveniunt digna dignis. 1270
HAN. Tandem huic cupitum contigit. AG. O Apella, o Zeuxis pictor,
cur numero estis mortui, hoc exemplo ut pingeretis?
nam alios pictores nil moror huius modi tractare exempla.

AGOR. Worthy things befall the worthy. 1270
HAN. At last his desire has come to pass for him. AG. O Apella, O Zeuxis
painter,
why are you numbered among the dead, that you might paint this by example?
for other painters I do not care at all to handle examples of this kind.

HAN. Di deaeque omnes, vobis habeo merito magnas gratias,
quom hac me laetitia adfecistis tanta et tantis gaudiis, 1275
ut meae gnatae ad me redirent in potestatem meam.
[AD. Mi pater, tua pietas plane nobis auxilio fuit.
AGOR. Patrue, facito in memoria habeas, tuam maiorem filiam
mihi te despondisse.

HAN. Gods and goddesses all, to you I owe, deservedly, great thanks,
since you have affected me with this joy so great and with such great joys, 1275
that my daughters returned to me into my power.
[AD. My father, your piety plainly was a help to us.
AGOR. Uncle, see that you keep in memory that you have betrothed your elder daughter to me.

HAN. Memini. AGOR. Et dotis quid promiseris.]

HAN. I remember. AGOR. And as to the dowry, what
you promised.]

V.v
ANTAMONIDES Si ego minam non ultus fuero probe, quam lenoni dedi, 1280
tum profecto me sibi habento scurrae ludificatui.
is etiam me ad prandium ad se abduxit ignavissimus,
ipse abiit foras, me reliquit pro atriensi in aedibus,
ubi nec leno neque illae redeunt, nec quod edim quicquam datur.
pro maiore parte prandi pignus cepi, abii foras; 1285
sic dedero: aere militari tetigero lenunculum.

V.v
ANTAMONIDES If I do not have properly avenged the mina that I gave the pimp (leno), 1280
then assuredly let the buffoons have me to themselves for mockery.
that most sluggard even led me off to luncheon to his place;
he himself went outside, left me in the house as an atriensis, a hall-servant,
where neither the leno nor those women return, nor is anything given for me to eat.
for the larger part of the luncheon I took a pledge; I went outside; 1285
thus I will pay him back: with military bronze I will lay hands on the little pimp.

nanctus est hominem, mina quem argenti circumduceret.
sed mea amica nunc mihi irato obviam veniat velim:
iam pol ego illam pugnis totam faciam uti sit merulea,
ita replebo atritate, atrior multo ut siet, 1290
quam Aegyptini, qui cortinam ludis per circum ferunt.
ANTER. Tene sis me arte, mea voluptas; male ego metuo miluos,
mala illa bestia est, ne forte me auferat pullum tuom.

he has chanced upon a man, whom he would circumvent of a mina of silver.
but I’d like my girlfriend now to come to meet me while I’m angry:
now, by Pollux, I’ll make her all blackbird-blue with my fists,
so I’ll fill her with blackness, that she may be much blacker, 1290
than the Egyptians who carry the kettle-drum around the circus at the games.
ANTER. Do please hold me tight, my delight; I badly fear the kites,
that wicked beast, lest perchance he carry off your chick.

AD. Vt nequeo te satis complecti, mi pater. ANTAM. Ego me moror.
propemodum hoc opsonare prandium potero mihi. 1295
sed quid hoc est?

AD. I cannot embrace you enough, my father. ANTAM. I linger.
Pretty soon I shall be able to provision this luncheon for myself. 1295
but what is this?

quid est? quid hoc est? quid ego video?

what is it? what is this? what do i see?

quo modo?
quid hoc est conduplicationis? quae haec est congeminatio?

how so?
what is this conduplication? what is this congemination?

quis hic homo est cum tunicis longis quasi puer cauponius?
satin ego oculis cerno? estne illaec mea amica Anterastilis?

Who is this man here with long tunics, like a tavern-boy?
Do I discern well enough with my eyes? Is that there my girlfriend Anterastilis?

et ea est certo. iam pridem ego me sensi nihili pendier. 1300
non pudet puellam amplexari baiolum in media via?
iam hercle ego illum excruciandum totum carnufici dabo.

and it is she, certainly. long since I sensed myself to be valued at nothing. 1300
is the girl not ashamed to embrace a porter in the middle of the street?
now, by Hercules, I will hand that fellow over, whole, to the executioner to be excruciated.

sane genus hoc mulierosumst tunicis demissiciis.
sed adire certum est hanc amatricem Africam.
heus tu, tibi dico, mulier, ecquid te pudet? 1305
quid tibi negoti est autem cum istac?

Surely this kind is womanish, with their let-down tunics.
but it is resolved to approach this lover-girl Africa.
hey you, I’m talking to you, woman—are you at all ashamed? 1305
what business have you, moreover, with that one?

dic mihi.
HAN. Adulescens, salve. ANTAM. Nolo, nihil ad te attinet.

tell me.
HAN. Young man, hail. ANTAM. I am unwilling; it pertains nothing to you.

quid tibi hanc digito tactio est? HAN. Quia mihi lubet.
ANT. Lubet?

what business have you touching her with your finger? HAN. Because it pleases me.
ANT. It pleases you?

HAN. Ita dico. ANT. Ligula, i in malam crucem.
tune hic amator audes esse, hallex viri, 1310
aut contrectare quod mares homines amant?

HAN. So I say. ANT. You little strap, go to the gallows.
do you here dare to be a lover, you dregs of a man, 1310
or to fondle what male men love?

deglupta mena, sarrapis, sementium,
manstruca, halagora, sampsa, tum autem plenior
ali ulpicique quam Romani remiges.
AGOR. Num tibi, adulescens, malae aut dentes pruriunt, 1315
qui huic es molestus, an malam rem quaeritas?
ANTAM. Quin adhibuisti, dum istaec loquere, tympanum?

skinned mena, sarrapis, sementium,
manstruca, halagora, sampsa, then moreover fuller
of garlic and ulpica than Roman oarsmen.
AGOR. Do your cheeks or your teeth itch, adolescent, 1315
that you are troublesome to this one, or are you looking for a bad business?
ANTAM. Why didn’t you bring a drum while you were saying those things?

nam te cinaedum esse arbitror magis quam virum.
AGOR. Scin quam cinaedus sum? ite istinc, servi, foras,
ecferte fustis.

for I consider you to be more of a catamite than a man.
AGOR. Do you know what sort of catamite I am? off with you from there, slaves, outside—bring out the clubs.

ANTAM. Heus tu, si quid per iocum 1320
dixi, nolito in serium convertere.
ANTER. Qui tibi lubido est, opsecro, Antamonides,
loqui inclementer nostro cognato et patri?
nam hic noster pater est; hic nos cognovit modo
et hunc sui fratris filium.

ANTAM. Hey you, if I said anything in jest 1320
do not turn it into a serious matter.
ANTER. How is it your desire, I beseech you, Antamonides,
to speak harshly to our cognate and father?
for this man is our father; just now he recognized us
and this one as his brother’s son.

ANTAM. Ita me Iuppiter 1325
bene amet, bene factum. gaudeo et volup est mihi,
si quid lenoni optigit magni mali.
[quomque e virtute vobis fortuna optigit.

ANTAM. So may Jupiter 1325
love me well, well done. I rejoice, and it is delight to me,
if any great evil has befallen the pimp.
[and whenever from virtue fortune has come to you.

ANTER. Credibile ecastor dicit. crede huic, mi pater.
HAN. Credo.

ANTER. By Castor, he speaks credibly. Believe him, my father.
HAN. I believe.

AGOR. Et ego credo. sed eccum lenonem Lycum.] 1330-1331
AGOR. Bonum virum eccum video, se recipit domum; 1332
[HAN. Quis hic est? AGOR. Vtrumvis est, vel leno vel Lycus.

AGOR. And I too believe it. But look, here he is, the pimp Lycus.] 1330-1331
AGOR. I see the good man here; he withdraws home, 1332
[HAN. Who is this? AGOR. Either one: either the pimp or Lycus.

in servitute hic filias habuit tuas
et mi auri fur est. HAN. Bellum hominem, quem noveris.] 1335
rapiamus in ius. HAN. Minime.

he held your daughters in servitude here
and he is a thief of my gold. HAN. A pretty fellow, the man you knew.] 1335
let us drag him into court. HAN. By no means.

AG. Quapropter? HAN. Quia
~iniuriarum multo induci satius est.

AG. Wherefore? HAN. Because
~it is by far better to be brought in on a suit of injuries.

V.vi
LYCVS Decipitur nemo, mea quidem sententia,
qui suis amicis narrat recte res suas;
nam omnibus amicis meis idem unum convenit, 1340
ut me suspendam, ne addicar Agorastocli.
AG. Leno, eamus in ius. LYC. Opsecro te, Agorastocles,
suspendere ut me liceat.

5.6
LYCVS No one is deceived, in my opinion,
who rightly relates his affairs to his friends;
for all my friends agree on this one same thing, 1340
that I should hang myself, lest I be adjudicated to Agorastocles.
AG. Pander, let us go to court. LYC. I beseech you, Agorastocles,
that it be permitted me to hang myself.

HAN. In ius te voco.
LYC. Quid tibi mecum autem? HAN. Quia hasce aio liberas
ingenuasque esse filias ambas meas; 1345
eae sunt surruptae cum nutrice parvolae.

HAN. I summon you to court.
LYC. But what have you to do with me, however? HAN. Because I assert that these here are free and ingenuous—freeborn—both my daughters; 1345
they were surreptitiously stolen with their nurse when little girls.

LYC. Iam pridem equidem istuc scivi, et miratus fui,
neminem venire qui istas adsereret manu.
[meae quidem profecto non sunt. ANTAM. Leno, in ius eas.

LYC. Long ago indeed I knew that, and I was amazed that no one came who would assert them by the hand.
[they are certainly not mine, for my part. ANTAM. Pimp, go into court.

LYC. De prandio tu dicis. debetur, dabo.] 1350
AG. Duplum pro furto mi opus est. LYC. Sume hinc quid lubet.

LYC. You are speaking about luncheon. It is due; I will pay.] 1350
AG. I need double-damages for theft. LYC. Take from here whatever you please.

HAN. Et mihi suppliciis multis. LYC. Sume hinc quid lubet:
[ANTAM. Et mihi quidem mina argenti. LY. Sume hinc quid lubet.]
collo rem solvam iam omnibus, quasi baiolus.

HAN. And for me with many punishments. LYC. Take from here whatever you please:
[ANTAM. And for me indeed a mina of silver. LY. Take from here whatever you please.]
I will settle the matter now for everyone with my neck, like a porter.

[AG. Numquid recusas contra me? LYC. Haud verbum quidem. 1355
AG. Ite igitur intro, mulieres. sed patrue mi,
tuam, ut dixisti, mihi desponde filiam.
HAN. Haud aliter ausim.

[AG. Do you make any objection against me? LYC. Not a word indeed. 1355
AG. Go in then, women. But, my uncle,
betroth your daughter to me, as you said. HAN. I would not dare otherwise.]

ANTAM. Bene vale. AG. Et tu bene vale.
ANTAM. Leno, arrabonem hoc pro mina mecum fero.—
LYC. Perii hercle.

ANTAM. Fare well. AG. And you, fare well.
ANTAM. Pander, I carry this as earnest-money for the mina with me.—
LYC. By Hercules, I am ruined.

AG. Immo haud multo post, si in ius veneris. 1360
LYC. Quin egomet tibi me addico. quid praetore opust?
verum obsecro te, ut liceat simplum solvere,
trecentos Philippos; credo conradi potest:
cras auctionem faciam.

AG. Nay, not much later, if you come into court. 1360
LYC. Why, I myself adjudge myself to you. What need is there of the praetor?
but I beseech you, let it be permitted to pay the simple (principal) amount,
three hundred Philips; I believe it can be scraped together:
tomorrow I will hold an auction.

AG. Tantisper quidem
ut sis apud me lignea in custodia. 1365
LYC. Fiat. AG. Sequere intro, patrue mi, ut hunc festum diem
habeamus hilare, huius malo et nostro bono.
multum valete.

AG. For the time being at least,
that you be with me in wooden custody. 1365
LYC. Let it be done. AG. Follow inside, my uncle, that we may keep this festal
day cheerful, to this man’s harm and to our benefit.
fare very well.

multa verba fecimus;
malum postremo omne ad lenonem reccidit.
nunc, quod postremum est condimentum fabulae, 1370
si placuit, plausum postulat comoedia.—]

we have spoken many words;
in the end all the mischief fell back upon the pimp.
now, which is the final seasoning of the play, 1370
if it has pleased, the comedy requests applause.—]

V.vii
AGOR. Quam rem agis, miles? qui lubet patruo meo
loqui inclementer? ne mirere, mulieres
quod eum secuntur: modo cognovit filias
suas esse hasce ambas.

V.vii
AGOR. What are you doing, soldier? What makes you speak harshly to my uncle
do not wonder that the women are following him: just now he has recognized
that his daughters are these two
both of them.

LYCVS Hem, quod verbum aures meas 1375
tetigit? nunc perii. ANTAM. Vnde haec perierunt domo?

LYCUS Ha! what word has touched my ears? 1375
I have perished now. ANTAM. Whence have these perished from the house?

AG. Carthaginienses sunt. LYC. At ego sum perditus.
illuc ego metui semper, ne cognosceret
eas aliquis, quod nunc factumst.

AG. They are Carthaginians. LYC. But I am ruined.
that was the very thing I always feared, that someone would recognize
them, which now has happened.

vae misero mihi,
periere, opinor, duodeviginti minae, 1380
qui hasce emi. AGOR. Et tute ipse periisti, Lyce.
HAN. Quis hic est?

woe to wretched me,
I think eighteen minas have perished, for which I bought these; 1380
AGOR. And you yourself have perished, Lycus.
HAN. Who is this?

AGOR. Vtrumvis est, vel leno vel Lycus.
in servitute hic filias habuit tuas,
et mi auri fur est. HAN. Bellum hominem, quem noveris.

AGOR. Either one: either a pimp or Lycus.
in servitude this man has had your daughters,
and he is a thief of my gold. HAN. A fine fellow, as you know.

ANTAM. Leno, rapacem te esse semper credidi, 1385
verum etiam furacem qui norunt magis.
LYC. Accedam. per ego tua te genua obsecro
et hunc, cognatum quem tuom esse intellego:
quando boni estis, ut bonos facere addecet
faciatis, vestro subveniatis supplici. 1390
iam pridem equidem istas scivi esse liberas
et exspectabam, si qui eas assereret manu.

ANTAM. Pimp, I have always believed you to be rapacious, 1385
but those who know you know you to be even thievish more.
LYC. I will come near. By your knees I beseech you,
and him, whom I understand to be your cognate:
since you are good men, as it befits to do good to the good,
do so, come to the aid of your suppliant. 1390
Long since indeed I knew those women to be free,
and I was waiting to see whether someone would assert them by the hand.

nam non meae sunt prosum. tum autem aurum tuom
reddam, quod apud me est, et iusiurandum dabo,
me malitiose nil fecisse, Agorastocles. 1395
AGOR. Quid mihi par facere sit, ego mecum consulam.
omitte genua.

for they are not mine to profit by. Then moreover your gold
I will return, which is with me, and I will give an oath,
that I have done nothing maliciously, Agorastocles. 1395
AGOR. What it is fair for me to do, I will consult with myself.
let go my knees.

LYC. Mitto, si ita sententia est.
ANTAM. Heus tu leno. LYC. Quid lenonem vis inter negotium?

LYC. I let it go, if that is the judgment.
ANTAM. Hey, you, pimp. LYC. What do you want with the pimp in the midst of business?

ANTAM. Vt minam mi argenti reddas, prius quam in nervom abducere.
LYC. Di meliora faxint. ANTAM. Sic est: hodie cenabis toris. 1400
aurum argentum collum, leno, tris res nunc debes simul.

ANTAM. That you pay me a mina of silver, before you are led off to the stocks.
LYC. Heaven forbid. ANTAM. Just so: today you will dine on couches. 1400
gold, silver, your neck, pimp—three things you now owe at once.

HAN. Quid me <in> hac re facere deceat, egomet mecum cogito.
si volo hunc ulcisci, litis sequar in alieno oppido,
quantum audivi ingenium et mores eius quo pacto sient.
ADELPH. Mi pater, ne quid tibi cum istoc rei sit pessumo, obsecro. 1405
ANTER. Ausculta sorori.

HAN. What it befits me to do in this matter, I myself am considering.
if I wish to take vengeance on this man, I shall pursue litigation in a foreign town,
as far as I have heard how his disposition and morals are.
ADELPH. My father, I beseech you, let there be no matter for you with that most wicked fellow. 1405
ANTER. Listen to your sister.

abi, diiunge inimicitias cum improbo.
HAN. Hoc age sis, leno. quamquam ego te meruisse ut pereas scio,
non experiar tecum.

go, sever enmity with the wicked man.
HAN. Do this, please, pimp. although I know you have deserved to perish, I will not make trial with you.

AGOR. Neque ego; si aurum mihi reddes meum,
leno, quando ex nervo emissu's— compingare in carcerem.
LYC. Iamne autem ut soles? ANTAM. Ego, Poene, tibi me purgatum volo.

AGOR. Nor I; if you give back my gold to me, pimp, since you’ve been released from the stocks— I’ll have you clapped in prison.
LYC. Already now, as you’re wont? ANTAM. I, Phoenician, want to clear myself to you.

1410
si quid dixi iratus advorsum animi tui sententiam,
id uti ignoscas quaeso; et quom istas invenisti filias,
ita me di ament <ut> mihi volup est. HAN. Ignosco et credo tibi.
ANTAM. Leno, tu autem amicam mihi des facito aut [auri] mihi reddas minam.

1410
if I said anything, irate, adverse to your sentiment,
I ask that you pardon it; and since you have found those daughters,
so may the gods love me as it is a delight to me. HAN. I pardon and I believe you.
ANTAM. Pimp, you, however, see to it you give me my mistress, or repay me a mina [of gold].

LYC. Vin tibicinam meam habere? ANTAM. Nil moror tibicinam; 1415
nescias, utrum ei maiores buccaene an mammae sient.
LYC. Dabo quae placeat.

LYC. Would you like to have my flute-girl? ANTAM. I’m not at all concerned for a flute-girl; 1415
you wouldn’t know whether her cheeks or her breasts are bigger. LYC. I’ll give one that pleases.

ANTAM. Cura. LYC. Aurum cras ad te referam tuom.
AGOR. Facito in memoria habeas.

ANTAM. See to it. LYC. Tomorrow I will bring back your gold to you.
AGOR. See that you keep it in memory.

LYC. Miles, sequere me.— ANTAM. Ego
vero sequor.—
AGOR. Quid ais, patrue? quando hinc ire cogitas Carthaginem?
nam tecum mi una ire certum est.

LYC. Soldier, follow me.— ANTAM. I
indeed follow.—
AGOR. What do you say, uncle? when do you intend to go from here to Carthage?
for I am resolved to go along with you.

HAN. Vbi primum potero, ilico. 1420
AGOR. Dum auctionem facio, hic opus est aliquot ut maneas dies.
HAN. Faciam ita ut vis. AGOR. Age sis, eamus, nos curemus.

HAN. As soon as I can, straightaway. 1420
AGOR. While I am holding an auction, there is need that you remain here for several days.
HAN. I will do as you wish. AGOR. Come now, please, let us go; let us take care of it ourselves.

plaudite.

applaud.