Campion: Epigrams I

Ludicra qui tibi nunc dicat, olim (amplissime princeps),
    grandior ut fueris, grandia forte canet,
quaeque genus celebrare tuum et tua lucida possunt
    facta, domi crescunt, sive patrata foris.
at tenues ne tu nimis (optime) despice Musas:

He who now says to you ludic things, someday (most ample prince),
    when you are grander, perhaps will sing grand things,
and the things which can celebrate your lineage and your lucid deeds
    are growing at home, whether accomplished abroad.
but do not you too much (best one) despise the slender Muses:

5
    pondere magna valent, parva lepore iuvant.
regibus athletae spatiis grati esse solebant
    apricis, nani ridiculique domi.
magnus Alexander magno plaudebat Homero,
    suspiciens inter praelia ficta deos;

5
    great things have force by weight, small things please by charm.
to kings, athletes used to be welcome in sunlit arenas,
    dwarfs and the ridiculous at home.
great Alexander used to applaud great Homer,
    looking up to the gods amid feigned battles;

10
Caesar, maior eo, Romana epigrammata legit,
    sceptigera quaedam fecit et ipse manu.
talia sed recitent alii tibi (maxime princeps);
    tu facias semper maxima, parva lege.
enecat activam quia contemplatio vitam

10
Caesar, greater than he, reads Roman epigrams,
    and he himself fashioned certain scepter-bearing things with his own hand.
but let others recite such things to you (greatest princeps);
    do you always do the greatest things; read the small ones.
because contemplation kills the active life

15
longa, brevis, necnon ingeniosa, fovet.

15
long contemplation kills the active life; short, and moreover ingenious, fosters it.

2. DE LIBRIS SUIS

2. ON HIS BOOKS

Nuper cur natum libro praepono priori?
princeps est aequum principe stare loco.

Why do I lately set the newborn book before the earlier?
it is equitable that the princeps stand in a princely place.

3. AD LECTOREM

3. TO THE READER

Nec sua barbaricis Galeno scribere visum est,
in mensa nullum qui didicere modum;
nec mea commendo nimium lectoribus illis
qui sine delectu vilia quaeque legunt.

Nor did it seem to Galen to write his own things for barbaric people,
who have learned no measure at table;
nor do I overly commend my own things to those readers
who, without selection, read every vile thing.

4. IN NERVAM

4. AGAINST NERVA

In coenam immunis propter ioca salsa vocatur
Nerva; suum fas est lingere quemque salem.

Nerva is invited to dinner exempt on account of salty jests;
it is right for each man to lick his own salt.

5. IN TABACCAM

5. AGAINST TABACCA

Aurum nauta suis Hispanus vectat ab Indis,
    et longas queritur se subiise vias.
maius iter portus ad eosdem suscipit Anglus,
    ut referat fumos, nuda tabacca, tuos:
copia detonsis quos vendit Ibera Britannis,

The Spanish sailor conveys gold from his own Indies,
    and complains that he has undergone long journeys.
The Englishman undertakes a greater journey to those same harbors,
    to bring back your smokes, bare tobacco, you:
the quantities of which Iberia sells to the shorn Britons,

5
per fumos ad se vellera callíde trahens.
nec mirum est stupidos vitiatis naribus Anglos
olfacere Hesperios non potuisse dolos.

5
through the smokes, cleverly drawing the fleeces to itself.
nor is it a wonder that the stupefied English, with vitiated nostrils,
were not able to scent out the Hesperian deceits.

6. DE AURO POTABILI

6. ON POTABLE GOLD

Pomponi, tantum vendis medicabilis auri,
quantum dat fidei credula turba tibi;
evadunt aliqui, sed non vi futilis auri:
servantur sola certius ergo fide

Pomponius, you sell only as much medicable gold
as the credulous crowd extends to your credit;
some escape, but not by the power of futile gold:
therefore they are preserved more surely by faith alone

7. AD BERINUM

7. TO BERINUS

Nomen traxit Amor suum, Berine,
a fervente mari, unde diva mater
est e fluctibus orta sals-amaris
(verum vivida si refert vetustas),
credo non sine maxima procella. 5
nec dici temere hoc putes, Berine;
quippe instar maris aestuant amantes,
saepe et naufragium rei queruntur,
plusque illa fidei. vorax Charybdis
moecha est, et furia acrior marina. 10

Love drew its own name, Berine,
from the seething sea, whence the divine mother
arose from the salt-bitter waves
(if vivid Antiquity relates the truth),
I believe not without a very great tempest. 5
nor think this is said rashly, Berine;
for indeed, in the likeness of the sea, lovers seethe,
and often they complain of the shipwreck of the affair,
and she even more of broken fidelity. The voracious Charybdis
is an adulteress, and a fury more fierce than the sea. 10

8. IN VILLUM

8. AGAINST VILLUS

Discursus cur te bibulum iam musaque fallit?
humectas mentis lampada, Ville, nimis.

Why do discourse and the Muse now deceive you, you bibulous one?
you moisten the lamp of the mind, Ville, too much.

9. IN NERVAM

9. AGAINST NERVA

Fratres, cognatos, natos, et utrunque parentem
    composuit constans Nervaque rectus adhuc;
solus stirpe manens e tanta, sanguinis omne
    iam decus in venis comprimit ille suis.
ergo beatorum mensas vir providus ambit,

Brothers, kinsmen, sons, and each parent both
    the steadfast and still-upright Nerva has laid to rest;
alone remaining from so great a stock, he now compresses
    all the honor of his blood within his own veins.
therefore the provident man skirts the tables of the wealthy,

5
inde sibi sanguis crescat ut usque novus.
iamque pater, mater, iam fratres, atque nepotes,
spreto est externo sanguine, Nerva, tibi.

5
thence may his blood grow for him ever new.
and now a father, a mother, now brothers, and grandsons,
with external blood scorned, Nerva, for you.

10. IN MATHONEM

10. AGAINST MATHO

Ebrius uxorem duxit Matho, sobrius horret,
cui nunc in sola est ebrietate salus.

Drunk, Matho married a wife, sober he shudders,
for whom now salvation is in ebriety alone.

11. DE BONA FAMA

11. ON GOOD REPUTATION

Qui sapit in multis, vix desipuisse videri
ulla in re poterit; tam bona fama bona est.

He who is wise in many things will hardly be able to seem to have been foolish
in any matter; so good is good fame.

12. AD CALVUM

12. TO CALVUS

Cantor saltatorque priori de ordine certant,
Calve; sed ante choros musica nata fuit:
dignior et motus animi quae temperat ars quam
corporis est, quanto corpore mens melior.

The singer and the dancer vie for the prior rank,
Calvus; but music was born before the choruses:
and the art that tempers the motions of the mind is more worthy than
that of the body, by as much as the mind is better than the body.

13. AD COSMUM

13. TO COSMUS

Plena boni est mulier bona res pretiosaque, Cosme:
rara sed esse nimis res pretiosa solet.

A good woman, full of good, is a precious thing, Cosme:
but a precious thing is accustomed to be all too rare.

14. IN LYCUM

14. AGAINST LYCUS

Non ex officiis quae mutua gratia debet
ferre per alternas atque referre vices,
sed Lycus ex usu privato pendit amicos;
nec tacet; et solus quod sapit, inde putat.

Not by the offices which mutual favor owes
to bear and to repay in alternate turns,
but Lycus weighs his friends by private utility;
nor is he silent; and from this he thinks that he alone is wise.

5
pectore vir bonus et sapiens cernetur aperto;
non itidem malus; is, quod sapit, omne tegit:
sis licet ex fructu nummorum iam, Lyce, dives,
fictae ne speres faenus amicitiae.

5
a good and wise man will be discerned with an open breast;
not so the bad man; he hides all that he “knows”:
though you may now be rich, Lycus, from the fruit of your coins,
do not hope for the interest of feigned friendship.

15. AD EURUM

15. TO EURUS

Multum qui loquitur, si non sapit, idque vetustum est;
Caccula causidicus si sapit, Eure, novum est.

He who talks much, if he is not sapient—and that is vetust—;
if Caccula the lawyer is sapient, Eurus, it is novel.

16. AD HAEDUM

16. TO HAEDUS

In multis bene cum feci tibi, non bene nosti;
si malefecissem, notior (Haede) forem.

In many things, when I did well for you, you did not know it well;
if I had done ill, I would be more notorious, (Haede).

17. IN BARNUM

17. AGAINST BARNUS

In vinum solvi cupis Aufilena quod haurit,
basia sic faelix, dum bibit illa, dabis;
forsitan attinges quoque cor; sed (Barne) matella
exceptus tandem qualis amator eris!

You wish to be dissolved into the wine that Aufilena quaffs;
thus, fortunate, while she drinks, you will give kisses;
perhaps you will also attain her heart; but (Barne) the chamber-pot,
once you are received there, what sort of lover will you be at last!

18. IN CACCULAM

18. AGAINST CACCULA

Caccula causidicus quid ni ditissimus esset?
et loquitur nemo magis, et verba omnia vendit.

Why shouldn’t Caccula the advocate be very rich?
and no one speaks more, and he vends every word.

19. IN SABELLUM

19. AGAINST SABELLUS

Nummos si repeto (Sabelle) rides;
coenam si nego perfuris (Sabelle).
utrumvis pariter mihi molestum est:
in re non fero seria iocosum;
in re non fero serium iocosa.

If I demand back the coins (Sabellus), you laugh;
if I deny a dinner, you rage (Sabellus).
either is equally troublesome to me:
in a serious matter I do not endure the jocose;
in a jocose matter I do not endure the serious.

20. IN SECTOREM ZONARIUM

20. AGAINST THE CUTPURSE

Artifices inter sector zonarius omnes
lucrum non fallax solus ubique facit;
namque opera expleta, cuncta sine ilite morave,
mercedem propria continet ille manu.

Among all artificers the belt-cutter alone
makes lucre not fallacious everywhere;
for when the work is completed, all without lawsuit or delay,
he holds his fee in his own hand.

21. IN NERVAM

21. ON NERVA

Temperiem laudare tuam vis Nervaque tangi;
ex tactu tepidus, Nerva, fatebor, eras.
sed quid homo tepidus sonat Anglis ipse docebo;
scilicet haud multum qui bonus aut malus est.

You wish your temperateness to be praised and Nerva to be touched;
from the touch I will confess, Nerva, you were tepid.

but what “tepid man” sounds like to the English I myself will teach;
namely, one who is not much either good or bad.

22. IN TUCCAM

22. AGAINST TUCCA

Non salve, sed solve tibi Lycus obvius infit;
urbanus sed tu nil nisi, Tucca, vale.

Not “hail,” but “pay up,” Lycus, meeting you, begins;
but you, urbane, say nothing except, Tucca, “farewell.”

23. IN CALUM

23. AGAINST CALUS

Colligit, et scriptos Calus in se ridet iambos:
    vix credas homini quam male dicta placent,
invidiamque viro ceu quid probat utile magno
    quem metui potius quam placuisse iuvat.
haec Calus: at genius quando susurrat in aurem,

Calus collects, and laughs at the iambics written against himself:
    you would scarcely believe how much ill-sayings please the man,
and he approves envy as if something useful to a great man
    whom it gladdens to have been feared rather than to have pleased.
this is Calus: but when his genius whispers in his ear,

5
est gravis invidiae saepe ruina comes.

5
ruin is often the grave companion of envy.

24. IN MARINAM

24. AGAINST MARINA

Docta minus, moechis ut erat contenta duobus,
sic etiam bigis vecta Marina fuit:
nunc eadem solis agitur fastosa quadrigis,
nunc igitur moechos bis capit illa duos.

Less learned, as she was content with two adulterers,
so too was Marina borne in a biga:
now the same woman, haughty, is carried by quadrigae only,
now therefore she takes adulterers two-times-two.

25. IN TATIUM

25. AGAINST TATIUS

Haud melior Tatio vir erat, nec amicior alter;
    hoc tolerabilior iam Calus; aula docet.
nam faciles nondum gustata potentia reddit,
    at prima prohibet plurima fronte pudor.
simplicitate sua sic virgo educta pudice

No man was better than Tatius, nor another more amicable;
    on this account Calus is now more tolerable; the court teaches.
for power not yet tasted renders them facile,
    but at first front modesty prohibits very many things.
by her own simplicity thus the virgin, educated modestly

5
        lusus declinat, verbaque nuda nimis:
aptior haec tandem licet obtrectante labello
    basiolum discit reddere, parque pari;
inde manum tangi patitur, tectasque mamillas,
    nec refugit quamvis arctior instat amans.

5
        she declines play, and words too nude:
more apt at last, though with a demurring little lip,
    she learns to render back a little kiss, equal to equal;
thereafter she suffers her hand to be touched, and her covered breasts,
    nor does she shrink back although the lover presses closer.

10
ast Venerem simul illa sapit, tacitosque Hymenaeos,
    inpune et fieri perdita quaeque videt;
perfricta quid non audebit denique fronte,
    aut quem nequitiae ponet aperta modum?
pessimus ex pravo sic nascitur aulicus usu;

10
but as soon as she tastes Venus, and the silent Hymeneals,
    she sees that, with impunity too, every profligate thing is done;
with a well-rubbed, brazen brow, what will she not dare at last,
    or what limit will she set to open iniquity?
thus from crooked practice the worst courtier is born;

15
nec mirum, cui non imperat una Venus.

15
nor is it a marvel, for whom not a single Venus commands.

26. IN ACERRUM

26. INTO ACERRA

Cautus homo est, et Acerrus habet quot lumina quondam
VArgus, at haec dubie cuncta nihilve vident.

He is a cautious man, and Acerrus has as many eyes as Argus once had,
but all these see doubtfully, or see nothing.

27. IN CALVUM

27. ON CALVUS

Ne quem nunc metuas in te atros scribere versus;
    nigrorem Aethiopi qui paret, ecquis erit?
perfosso quid opus nova figere spicula corde?
    quis dabit in misera pocula dira phthisi?
omnis cura tibi, Cale, sit de funere, tanquam

Do not now fear that anyone will write black verses against you;
    who will furnish a blackness to match an Aethiopian?
what need is there to fix new darts in a perforated heart?
    who will give dire cups for wretched phthisis?
let your every care, Cale, be about the funeral, as though

5
mortuus, et speres iam bona verba licet.

5
dead, and you may now hope for good words.

28. AD LICINIUM

28. TO LICINIUS

Vir bonus esse potest, Licini, cui foemina nulla
imperat; at contra vir malus esse potest.

A good man can be, Licinius, one whom no woman commands;
but on the contrary a man can be bad.

29. IN GAURUM

29. AGAINST GAURUS

Causidicos in lite paras tibi, Gaure, peritos,
    quorum tu meritis munera nulla negas:
in morbo medicos contra conducis inertes,
    quamque potest minimo; sic tibi, Gaure, sapis?
haeredi siquidem rem, vitam nemo relinquet;

You procure for yourself, Gaurus, skilled advocates in a lawsuit,
    to whose merits you deny no gifts:
in sickness, by contrast, you hire inert physicians,
    and for the least he can; is this, Gaurus, how you are wise?
for to an heir one will indeed leave property; life no one will leave;

5
haeredi potius vivitur, anne tibi?

5
is it rather for the heir that one lives, or for you?

30. IN PARDALUM

30. AGAINST PARDALUS

Ex quibus existunt animalia spagyrus iisdem
    dicit ali; verum est, id ratioque docet.
ex sale, mercurioque, et sulphure corpore constant,
    ut Paracelsiacae perstrepit aura scholae.
Pardalus idcirco chymicus tumidusque professor,

From which things animals exist; the spagyrist says they are nourished by the same,
    it is true, and reason too teaches it.
from salt, and mercury, and sulphur they consist in body,
    as the aura of the Paracelsian school resounds.
Pardalus therefore, a chymist and a puffed-up professor,

5
pro modico modium iam solet esse salis;
idque agit assidue, magis ut se nutriat, inquit:
sulphur sic utinam mercuriumque voret.

5
for a modest sum he is now wont to eat a bushel of salt;
and he does this assiduously, so that he may nourish himself more, he says:
would that thus he would devour sulphur and mercury as well.

31. IN CORVINUM

31. AGAINST CORVINUS

Bassano multum debet Corvinus; honorem
iure suo, gratum munificoque animum:
Bassanus ne hilum Corvino; qui male gratus
cunctorum amisit mutua iura hominum.

Corvinus owes much to Bassanus; honor
by his own right, and a grateful and munificent spirit:
Bassanus not a whit to Corvinus; who, ungrateful,
has lost the mutual rights of all men.

32. IN HISTRICUM

32. AGAINST HISTRICUS

Tritas rogo cur habeat Histricus vestes;
an deficit res, aut fides? negat: quaero
novis quid obstet? vestiarum non fert,
ait, qui adaptet sibi: timet titillari.

I ask why Histricus has worn‑thin garments;
is he lacking in resources, or in credit? He says no: I ask
what hinders new ones? The clothes‑sellers, he says, do not furnish
someone to adapt them to him: he is afraid of being tickled.

33. IN ALBIUM

33. AGAINST ALBIUS

An te quod pueri in via salutent
ignoti, gravis intumescis, Albi,
incedens veluti novus senator,
fixis vultibus, et gradu severo?
erras; non honor hic, metus profecto est;

Is it because boys unknown on the street salute you
that you swell up, weighty and puffed, Albius,
striding as though a new senator,
with features fixed, and a severe gait?
you err; this is not honor, it is fear assuredly;

5
nam tristis ferulae memor puellus
quid ni cogitet ex ineptiente
ista te gravitate paedagogum?

5
for the little boy, mindful of the grim ferule,
why should he not think, from that ineptly-jesting
gravity of yours, that you are a pedagogue?

34. DE EPIGRAMMATE

34. ON THE EPIGRAM

Sicut ex acre piper mordax epigramma palato
non omni gratum est: utile nemo negat.

Just as, like sharp pepper, a mordant epigram to the palate
is not pleasing to everyone: no one denies it is useful.

35. IN CORVINUM

35. AGAINST CORVINUS

Quis non te, Corvine, omni iam munere dignum
et gratum exemplo te celebrante feret?
nam Venerem tibi dat Galla, idque palam omnibus effers,
tanti ne meriti non videare memor.

Who will not, Corvinus, now deem you worthy of every gift
and welcome, with you yourself celebrating it by example?
for Galla gives you Venus, and you bear this forth openly to all,
lest you seem unmindful of so great a favor.

36. IN UTILITATE

36. ON USEFULNESS

Utilis est nulli semet qui negligit; omni
vix usquam spreta est utilitate bonus.

He is useful to no one who neglects himself; the good man is scarcely anywhere despised on grounds of utility.

37. IN NERVAM

37. ON NERVA

Vinum amat, horret aquam; qua visa Nerva recurrit,
ut solet a rabido morsus, Amate, cane.
porrecto vini cyatho fugitat canis; illi
ostendas lympham quando fugare velis.

He loves wine, he shudders at water; at the sight of which Nerva runs back,
as one bitten by a rabid dog is wont, Amatus.
with a proffered cup of wine the dog flees; to him
show water when you wish to put him to flight.

38. AD PONTICUM

38. TO PONTICUS

Argus habet natos sex, nullam, Pontice, natam;
vulgo si credis, sobrius Argus homo est.

Argus has six sons, not a single daughter, Ponticus;
if you believe the vulgar report, Argus is a sober man.

39. AD COSMUM

39. TO COSMUS

Versum qui semel ut generat nullum necat, idem
non numeris gaudet, Cosme, sed innumeris.

He who, once he has generated a verse, kills none, the same man
does not delight in numbers, Cosmus, but in innumerable ones.

40. DE HENCRICO 4 FRANCORUM REGE

40. ON HENRY 4 KING OF THE FRANKS

Henricum gladio qui non occidere posset,
cultello potuit: parva timere bonum est.

He who could not kill Henry with a sword,
could with a little knife: it is good to fear small things.

41. AD SERENISSIMAM ANNAM REGINAM

41. TO THE MOST SERENE QUEEN ANNE

Anna, tuum nomen si derivetur ab anno,
nominibus quadrant annua quaeque tuis:
annua dona tibi debentur, et annua sacra;
atque renascendi per nova secla vices.

Anna, if your name be derived from year,
whatever is annual squares with your names:
annual gifts are owed to you, and annual sacred rites;
and the turns of being reborn through new ages.

42. AD EANDEM

42. TO THE SAME

Quatuor Anna elementa refert, venerabile nomen;
divisis partes, Anna, tot annus habet.
Anna retro est eadem, sed non reflectitur annus;
hic in se moriens, salva sed illa redit.

Anna recounts four elements, a venerable name;
with the parts divided, Anna, the year has just as many.
Anna is the same backwards, but the year is not reflected;
this one, dying into itself, yet that one returns safe.

43. AD SERENISSIMUM CAROLUM PRINCIPEM

43. TO THE MOST SERENE PRINCE CHARLES

Scotia te genuit, cepit mox Anglia parvum;
sed tu, quod spero, Carole, neuter eris.
unica te faciet nam magna Britannia magnum;
nomina conveniunt factaqua magna tui.

Scotland begot you; soon England took you, a small one;
but you, as I hope, Charles, will be neither.
for the single Great Britain will make you great;
the names agree, and your great deeds too.

44. AD AUGISTISSIMUM IACOBUM REGEM

44. TO THE MOST AUGUST KING JAMES

Curta tuum cur haec metuunt epigrammata nomen?
debetur famae maxima musa tuae.

Why do these curtailed epigrams fear your name?
the greatest Muse is owed to your fame.

45. AD CASTRICUM

45. TO CASTRICUS

Acceptum pro me perhibes te, Castrice, ludis
admissum; pro te captus at eiicior:
esse mei similem non est tibi causa dolendi,
sed me tam similem poenitet esse tui.

You assert that, accepted on my account, Castricus, you were admitted to the games;
but on your account I am seized and ejected:
to be similar to me is no cause for you to grieve,
but I regret being so very similar to you.

46. AD ROBERTUM CARAEUM EQUITEM AURATUM NOBILISSIMUM

46. TO ROBERT CARAEUS, A MOST NOBLE KNIGHT OF THE GOLDEN SPURS

Olim te duro cernebam tempore Martis,
    in se cum fureret Gallia, qualis eras.
teque, Caraee, diu florentem vidimus aula,
    dux, idem et princeps, dum tua cura fuit.
unus erat vitae tenor, et prudentia iuncta

Once I beheld you in the hard time of Mars,
    when Gaul raged against itself, what you were.
and you, Caraeus, we saw flourishing long in the court,
    a leader, and likewise prince, while your charge endured.
there was one tenor of life, and prudence joined

5
cum gravitate tibi sic quasi nata foret:
nec mutavit honos, nec te variabilis aetas;
qui novit iuvenem, noscet itemque senem.

5
with gravity for you thus as if it had been born:
nor did honor change, nor did changeable age change you;
he who knew you as a youth will likewise know you as an old man.

47. IN TUCCAM

47. AGAINST TUCCA

Consuluit medicum de cordis Tucca tremore;
morbum (proh) talem miles habere potest!

Tucca consulted a medic about the tremor of his heart;
a soldier can have (alas) such a disease!

48. IN CACCULAM

48. AGAINST CACCULA

Vulgares medici tussi febrique medetur,
    et vitiis quorum causa cuique patet.
morbi sed cerebri convulso corpore, vel cum
    non movet, exposcunt haud levis artis opem.
aemulus hinc causam defendit Caccula nullam

Common physicians treat cough and fever,
    and complaints whose cause is plain to each.
but diseases of the brain, with the body convulsed, or when
    it does not move, require the aid of no light art.
hence the rival Caccula pleads no cause

5
quae iusta, aut bona sit; pessima sola placet.
hanc agit intrepide semper, victorque triumphat,
tanquam is cuius ope est Attica pulsa lues.

5
any that is just or good; only the worst pleases.
this he always prosecutes intrepidly, and as victor he triumphs,
as though he were the one by whose aid the Attic plague has been driven out.

49. DE TERMINIS FORENSIBUS

49. ON FORENSIC TERMS

Anglorum iurisconsulti quatuor uno
exposcunt anno, termini at iis duo sunt:
terminus a quo res trudunt, et terminus ad quem;
mutua qui sumunt nomina saepe sua.

The English jurisconsults demand four in one
year, yet the termini for them are two:
the terminus a quo, from which things thrust, and the terminus ad quem;
which often take each other’s very names as their own.

50. AD PONTICUM

50. TO PONTICUS

Convivas alios quaeras tibi, Pontice; coeno
    lautius atque hodie tutius ipse domi:
nam me qui monuit vester modo rufus olebat
    ac si esset totus caseus, isque vetus,
et tostus decies; atqui hunc meus horret utervis

Look for other dinner-guests for yourself, Ponticus; I dine
    more lavishly and today more safely myself at home:
for that Rufus of yours who just now warned me reeked to me
    as if he were entirely cheese, and that aged,
and toasted ten times; and yet at this fellow either of my nostrils shudders

5
suffitum genius; Pontice, coeno domi.

5
my Genius shudders at him, fumigated; Ponticus, I dine at home.

51. IN TABACCAM

51. AGAINST TABACCA

Cum cerebro inducat fumo hausta tabacca stuporem,
nonne putem stupidos quos vapor iste capit?

Since imbibed tobacco induces stupor in the brain with smoke,
should I not deem stupid those whom that vapor seizes?

52. AD SABELLUM

52. TO SABELLUS

Filia, sive uxor peccat, tua culpa, Sabelle, est;
per se nulla bona est, nulla puella mala;
soli debetur custodi foemina quicquid
in vita spurce, sive decenter agit.

If a daughter or a wife sins, the fault is yours, Sabellus;
by herself no girl is good, no girl bad;
to the custodian alone is owed, whatever a woman
in life does, whether sordidly or decently.

53. DE GAURO

53. ON GAURUS

Nil dum facit temere, nihil facit Gaurus.

So long as he does nothing rashly, Gaurus does nothing.

54. IN ACMEN

54. AGAINST ACME

Est dives Titus, id fateris, Acme;
et te coniugio expetit misellam;
illum tu fugis, attamen beatum:
quare? non sapit, inquis; et quid inde?
an si quis prior est Vlysse coelebs,

Tītus is rich, that you admit, Acme;
and he seeks you, poor little thing, in marriage;
him you flee, yet a blessed man:
why? “he is not sapient,” you say; and what of it?
or if someone, as a celibate, is prior to Ulysses,

5
non reddes, simul hunc sinu maritum
complexa es, stolidum magis Batillo?

5
will you not render, once you have this husband in your bosom,
embraced, more stolid than Batillus?

55. IN GLAUCUM

55. AGAINST GLAUCUS

Debilis eunuchus sit, sit castratus oportet;
tam Glauco invisum est omne virile genus.

Let him be a feeble eunuch, let him be castrated as is fitting;
so hateful to Glaucus is every virile kind.

56. IN LAURENTIAM

56. AGAINST LAURENTIA

Imberbi, si cui, Laurentia nubere voluit,
invenit multos haec sibi fama procos;
impubes omnes, mora quos in amore pilosos
reddidit; ignoto sic perit illa viro.

To the beardless, if to anyone, Laurentia wished to wed,
this fame found many suitors for her;
all prepubescent, whom delay in love rendered hairy;
thus she is lost to an unknown husband.

57. IN LALUM

57. AGAINST LALUS

Aedes Lalo amplae sat sunt, sed aranea telis
    immunis totas inficit, ille sinit.
quoque magis numero crescunt, gaudet magis, unus
    tetras bestiolas has amat atque fovet;
non tamen ut bellas; nec quod medicina pusillis

Lalus’s rooms are ample enough, but a spider, her webs unmolested,
    befouls the whole of them; he permits it.
and the more they increase in number, the more he rejoices; he alone
    loves and cherishes these foul little beastlings;
not, however, as beauties; nor because it is medicine for little wounds

5
    vulneribus tela est; toxica nulla facit.
verum est cum muscis lis non medicabilis; illas
    insequitur demens, omnimodoque necat;
idque opus imposuit misero festiva puella,
    ala cui muscae laesus ocellus erat.

5
    its web is for wounds; it makes no toxins.
but with the flies there is a quarrel not medicable; demented, he
    pursues them and kills them in every manner;
and this task a festive girl imposed on the poor wretch,
    whose little eye had been hurt by the wing of a fly.

58. IN NERVAM

58. AGAINST NERVA

Dissecto Nervae capite, haud (chirurge) cerebrum
conspicis; eia, alibi quaere; ubi? ventriculo.

With Nerva’s head dissected, you do not, (chirurgeon), espy a cerebrum;
come now, seek elsewhere; where? In the belly.

59. AD APRUM

59. TO APER

Causidicus qui rure habitat, vicina per arva
si cui non nocuit, iam benefecit, Aper.

The advocate who dwells in the countryside,
if he has harmed no one through the neighboring fields, has already conferred a benefit, Aper.

60. AD PONTILIANUM

60. TO PONTILIANUS

Qua celebrata Lyco fuerant sponsalia luce,
captus homo tota mente repente fuit:
idque velut monstri quid dimiraris? at illo
quis non insanit (Pontiliane) die?

On the day on which Lyco’s espousals had been celebrated,
the man was suddenly a captive wholly in mind:
and you wonder at that as if it were something of a monster?
but on that day who does not go insane, Pontilianus?

61. AD BERINUM

61. TO BERINUS

Vidisti cacodaemonem, Berine;
qua tandem specie? canis nigri, inquis.
vah; dicam melius, canem figura
vidisti cacodaemonis, Berine.

You saw a cacodemon, Berine;
in what appearance, then? Of a black dog, you say.
bah; I will say it better: a dog in the figure
of a cacodemon you saw, Berine.

62. AD AULUM

62. TO AULUS

Cum scribat nunquam Corvinus non satur, Aule,
tantum ieiuni carminis unde facit?

Since Corvinus always writes when sated, Aulus,
whence does he make so much jejune verse?

63. AD LAURAM

63. TO LAURA

Egregie canis, in solis sed, Laura, tenebris;
nil bene fortassis non facis in tenebris.

You sing excellently, but, Laura, only in the dark;
perhaps there is nothing you do not do well in the dark.

64. AD PONTICUM

64. TO PONTICUS

Re nulla genio cum pigro (Pontice) noster
    consentit genius; sed velut ignis aquae
miscetur, pariter suscepta negotia reptant
    invite, pariter somnus utrumque premit.
mens hebet, herba velut, vicino infecta veneno,

In no matter does our genius agree with a sluggish genius, (Ponticus);
    but just as fire is mixed with water,
the undertakings undertaken crawl along unwillingly alike,
    alike sleep presses both.
the mind is dull, like an herb infected by neighboring poison,

5
tota mihi; vel ceu flamma repressa furit.
tale mihi tuus est solanum, Pontice, summus
patronus Decius, nescio quale tibi.

5
wholly to me; or, just as a flame repressed rages.
such to me is your solace, Ponticus, the highest
patron Decius, I know not of what kind to you.

65. DE HONORE

65. ON HONOR

Qui plus quam vires tolerant subit amplior aequo,
is merito dici possit honoris önow

He who tolerates more than his strength assumes a burden larger than is equitable,
he may deservedly be called the honor’s onus

66. AD SALUSTIUM

66. TO SALUSTIUS

Hesterna tibi gratulor, Salusti,
de coena magis ob iocos inermes,
et suaves animo calente risus.
hausto non timide novo rubello;
quam de istis avibus quater sepultis,

I congratulate you on yesterday, Sallust,
more for the supper on account of the harmless jokes,
and the sweet laughs, with the spirit warm,
after not timidly quaffing the new ruddy wine;
than for those birds four times buried,

5
selectis dapibus tuo palato;
quae mensa positae, sed expianda,
efflavere stygem, suoque nostrum
tetro nunc feriunt odore nasum.
sed me reprimo quamlibet gravatum,

5
with selected dainties for your palate;
which, when set on the table, yet needing expiation,
have exhaled the Styx, and with their own
fetid odor now strike our nose.
but I restrain myself, however weighed down,

10
nam res candida fama mortuorum est.

10
for the fame of the dead is a spotless thing.

67. IN COSSUM

67. AGAINST COSSUS

Condidit immenso puerilia membra sepulchro
filioli, multo marmore claustra tegens,
Cossus, quanta duos caperent satis ampla Typhaeos,
solus consilii conscius ipse sui.
ergo impar spectator opus miratur; at illud

He laid to rest in an immense sepulcher the childish limbs
of his little son, covering the enclosures with much marble,
Cossus, so ample as would be sufficient to contain two Typhoeuses,
he alone himself privy to his own plan.
therefore an unequal spectator marvels at the work; but that

ingenium authoris ceu levis umbra refert:
aedes qui tantas habitat miser, ut bene possent
cum turba proceres sustinuisse duos.

the genius of the author, like a light shadow, reflects it:
the wretch who inhabits so great a dwelling, such that they could well
have sustained, along with a throng, two nobles.

68. DE NUPTIIS

68. ON MARRIAGE

Rite ut celebres nuptias,
dupla tibi face est opus;
praetendat unam Hymen necesse,
at alteram par est amor.

Duly, that you may celebrate the nuptials,
you need a double torch;
let Hymen hold forth one, of necessity,
but it befits Love to bear the other.

69. AD GUILIELMUM CAMDENUM

69. TO WILLIAM CAMDEN

Legi operosum iamdudum, Camdene, volumen,
    quo gens descripta et terra Brittana tibi est,
ingenii foelicis opus solidique laboris:
    verborum et rerum splendor utrinque nitet.
lectorem utque pium decet, hoc tibi reddo merenti,

I long ago read, Camden, the laborious volume,
    in which the nation and the British land are described by you,
a work of felicitous genius and of solid labor:
    the splendor of words and of things shines on both sides.
and, as it befits a dutiful reader, this I render back to you, who deserve it,

5
per te quod patriam tam bene nosco meam.

5
through you it is that I know my fatherland so well.

70. DE SUIS

70. OF HIS OWN

Rerum quae nova nunc Britannicarum
exorta est facies? vetus recessit
prorsus sobrietas; gula, insolensque
cultu insania, futulisque pompa
pessundant populum manu potentem;

What new appearance of British affairs has now arisen?
the old sobriety has utterly receded; gluttony, and a madness insolent
in dress, and pomp with futile fripperies,
drown the people powerful in hand;

5
sic pauci ut bene de suoque vivant;
vixque ex omnibus invenire quenquam est
qui non accipit ipse foenus aut dat.

5
thus so few that they live well on their own means;
and scarcely among all is there anyone to be found
who does not himself receive interest or give it.

71. AD GLAUCUM

71. TO GLAUCUS

Exemplo quicquid fit, iustum creditur esse;
exemplis fiunt sed mala, Glauce, malis.

Whatever is done by example is believed to be just;
but by bad examples, Glaucus, bad things are made.

72. DE MEDICIS

72. ON PHYSICIANS

Gnarus iudicat aurifex metalla,
dat gemmis pretium et suum valorem:
doctos sed medicos, bene et merentes,
tantum ponderat imperita turba.

The knowledgeable goldsmith judges metals,
he gives to gems a price and their proper value:
but learned physicians, good and well-deserving,
are weighed only by the inexpert crowd.

73. IN LIGONEM

73. AGAINST THE HOE

Invideat quamvis sua verba Latina Britannis
causidicis, docto nunc Ligo ferto equo.
et medici partes agit undique notus; Alenum
scenarum melius vix puto posse decus.

Although Latin words may begrudge themselves to British advocates,
now, Ligo, bring in the learned horse.
and, known everywhere, he plays the parts of a doctor; Alenus,
the ornament of the stages, I scarcely think can be better.

74. DE SENECTUTE

74. ON OLD AGE

Est instar vini generosi docta senectus;
quo magis annosa est, acrior esse solet.

Learned old age is in the likeness of generous wine;
the more aged it is, it is wont to be keener.

75. AD CALVUM

75. TO CALVUS

Insanos olim prior aetas dixit amantes;
non sanos hodie dicere, Calve, licet.

A former age once called lovers insane;
today, Calvus, it is permitted to call them not sane.

76. AD MAURUM

76. TO MAURUS

Perpulchre calamo tua, Maure, epigrammata pingis;
    apparet chartis nulla litura tuis.
pes seu claudus erit, seu vox incongrua, nunquam
    expungis quidquam; tam tibi pulchra placent.
pulchra sed haec oculis ut sint, tamen auribus horrent;

Most beautifully with the reed-pen, Maure, you paint your epigrams;
    no erasure appears on your sheets.
whether the foot be lame, or the voice incongruous, you never
    expunge anything; so much do the beautiful things please you.
but though these be fair to the eyes, nevertheless they bristle to the ears;

5
horrida vox omnis, lusce, litura fuit.

5
every horrid voice, bleary one, was an erasure.

77. IN CINNAM

77. AGAINST CINNA

Notos, ignotos, celsos, humilesque salutat
Cinna; ioco populi dicitur ergo salus.

Cinna salutes the known and unknown, the lofty and the humble;
therefore his salutation is called the people’s jest.

78. IN TUCCAM

78. AGAINST TUCCA

Sit licet oppressus, licet obrutus aere alieno
Tucca, nihil sentit: quam sapit iste stupor!

Though Tucca be oppressed, though overwhelmed by alien bronze (debt),
he feels nothing: how wise is that stupor!

79. IN NERVAM

79. AGAINST NERVA

Coctos Nerva cibos crate aut sartagine torret
usque in carbonem; deliciasque vocat.
quid potius cuperet quam carbonarius esse
helluo inops, cui plus quam caro carbo placet?

Nerva toasts cooked foods on a grate or in a frying-pan
all the way into charcoal; and he calls them delicacies.
what would he rather desire than to be a charcoal-man—
a penniless glutton to whom coal pleases more than flesh?

80. AD EURUM

80. TO EURUS

Solas pauper amat Macer beatas,
lautas sed nimis atque fatuosas;
laudari cupit, Eure, non amari.

Macer, poor, loves only the wealthy,
lavish, but excessively so, and fatuous;
he desires to be praised, Eurus, not to be loved.

81. AD PONTICUM

81. TO PONTICUS

Propria si sedes iecur est et fomes amoris,
haud tuus esse potest, Pontice, sanus amor.

If the liver is the proper seat and the kindling of love,
your love, Ponticus, cannot be sound.

82. IN LIGONEM

82. AGAINST A MATTOCK

Ligo Latine culnerarium potum
dicere volebat; vulverarium dixit.

Ligo wanted to say in Latin "a vulnerary drink";
he said "a vulvar one."

83. IN DAEDALUM

83. AGAINST DAEDALUS

Parva te mare navigasse cymba
magnum, Daedale, praedicas; quid ad me
cymba si Styga transmees eadem?

You boast, Daedalus, that you have navigated the great sea in a small skiff;
what is that to me
if you cross the Styx with the same skiff?

84. AD IUSTINIANUM

84. TO JUSTINIAN

Vir bonus et minime vis litigiosus haberi,
    et lites coram iudice mitis ais,
non amo, nec temere cuiquam struo gratia causae
    maior ut accedat (Iustiniane) tuae.
invidiam, ah, nescis quantam tua candida verba,

You wish to be considered a good man and by no means litigious,
    and you say you are mild in suits before the judge,
I do not like it, nor do I rashly contrive for anyone a favor of a case
    so that a greater may be added to your own, (Justinian).
the envy, ah, you do not know how great, your candid words,

5
    quas inimicitias, quae tibi bella parant,
quosve illic risus astantibus ipse moveres,
    damnans iuridicis utile litis onus,
quamque patet turbis bonitas tua: tres tibi scribent
    mane dicas aliqui; mox alii atque alii;

5
    what enmities, what wars they prepare for you,
what laughs you yourself would move there for those standing by,
    denouncing the profitable burden of litigation for the jurists,
and how your goodness lies open to the crowds: you might say, three will write to you
    in the morning; soon others and others;

10
nec succrescenti posthac a lite quiesces,
idque alieno etiam iudice: iamne tremis?

10
nor hereafter will you have quiet from a suit that keeps sprouting up,
and that even before an alien judge: do you now tremble?

85. IN CACCULAM

85. AGAINST CACCULA

Legis cum sensum pervertis, forsitan illud
iure facis, sed non, Caccula, iure bono.

When you pervert the sense of the law, perhaps you do that
by right, but not, Caccula, by good right.

86. AD PAPILUM

86. TO PAPILUS

Papile, non amo te, nec tecum coeno libenter,
nec tamen hoc merito fit, fateorque, tuo:
sed nimis ore refers miscentem tristia Picum
toxica, suspectum te tua forma facit:
anguillam quisquis timet, esse hanc autumat anguem

Papilus, I do not love you, nor do I dine with you gladly,
nor yet is this done by your desert, I confess:
but far too much in your face you recall Picus mixing grim
poisons; your form makes you suspect:
whoever fears an eel supposes this to be a snake.

5
et non esse sciat, cogitat esse tamen.

5
and although he knows it is not, he nevertheless thinks it is.

87. IN LYCUM

87. AGAINST LYCUS

Coniugio est iuctos qui separat execrandus;
pugnantes dirimi non sinit ergo Lycus.

He who separates those joined by conjugal union is to be execrated;
therefore Lycus does not allow fighters to be separated.

88. IN BOSTILLUM

88. AGAINST BOSTILLUS

Magna Bostillus magnum se venditat aula;
aula magna tamen plus bovis olla capit.

In a great hall Bostillus vends himself as great;
yet a great pot holds more beef than a hall.

89. AD EURUM

89. TO EURUS

Non laute vivis, sed laete; negligis urbem;
attamen urbani plenus es, Eure, ioci;
tam lepido tibi fit rus ipsa urbanius urbe,
rusque tuum in se nil rusticitatis habet.

You do not live sumptuous, but glad; you neglect the city;
yet you are full, Eurus, of urbane jest;
so witty are you that for you the country itself becomes more urbane than the city,
and your countryside contains in itself no rusticity.

90. IN MATHONEM

90. AGAINST MATHO

Martis, ut affirmat, Veneres sed vulnere claudus
it Matho, scit morbum dissimulare suum;
et fictum narrat, medico indulgente, duellum;
prostrato inflictum sed sibi vulnus, ait.

Of Mars, as he affirms, but for Venuses, lame from a wound,
Matho goes; he knows how to dissimulate his disease;
and, the medic indulging him, he narrates a fictitious duel;
but he says the wound was inflicted on him with the foe prostrate.

91. IN MYRTILLAM

91. AGAINST MYRTILLA

O dira pestis utriusque Myrtilla
sexus, liquescens dulcium ore Sirenum:
parumne ducis credulos amatores
si perdis omnes, artibus animos iisdem
quin optumarum polluas puellarum,

O Myrtilla, dread pestilence of either sex,
melting with the mouth of the sweet Sirens:
is it too little that you lead credulous lovers—
if you destroy them all—that by the same arts you also
pollute the minds of the best maidens,

5
ut nulla propter te indole ex sua vivat
simul aure putrida hauserit tuos cantus?
o pestis omni pestilentior peste!
haud saeviit adeo Atticis senex Cous
a moenibus quam dupulit sacram tabem:

5
so that no one, because of you, lives according to her own nature
as soon as, with a rotten ear, she has drunk in your songs?
O plague more pestilential than every pestilence!
not so fiercely among the Athenians raged
the sacred plague which the old Coan drove from the walls:

10
madore nec quae languido Britannorum
terrebat animos omnium nova strage;
crebrave sternutatione quae lues longe
grassata miseram solitudinem vidit;
nec enim parem poeticis inaudire est

10
nor the one which, with the languid sweat of the Britons,
was terrifying the spirits of all with a new slaughter;
or the pestilence which, with frequent sternutation,
ranging far and wide, beheld a wretched solitude;
nor indeed is it to hear of an equal to the poets

15
scriptis, sed omnes una pestis haec pestes
superat, sit illa vera, sit licet ficta.

15
writings, but this one pest surpasses all plagues
whether that be true, or be it even fictitious.

92. IN PSEUDOMEDICUM

92. AGAINST THE PSEUDOMEDIC

Invento ex libro medicus qui creditur esse;
fortunae, non is filius artis erat.

A physician from a found book, who is believed to be one;
he was a son of Fortune, not of the Art.

93. AD MANTALUM

93. TO MANTALUS

Non satis est supra vulgus quod, Mantale, sentis,
consilium si non exprimis ore gravi.
distinguit ratio a brutis, oratio sed nos
inter nos, animae lux et imago loquens.

It is not enough, Mantale, that you feel above the crowd,
if you do not express your counsel with a grave mouth.
Reason distinguishes us from brutes, but oration
among ourselves, the speaking light and image of the soul.

94. DE FRANCISCI DRACI NAVE

94. ON THE SHIP OF FRANCIS DRAKE

En Draci sicco tabescit littore navis,
    aemula sed sphaerae, pulcher Apollo, tuae.
illa nam vectus vir clarus circuit orbem,
    Thymbraeo et vidit vix loca nota deo.
cuius fama recens tantum te praeterit, Argo,

Lo, the ship of Drake wastes away on the dry shore,
    yet a rival of your sphere, fair Apollo.
for in it, the famous man, borne, circled the orb,
    and saw places scarcely known even to the Thymbraean god.
whose fresh fame only just outstrips you, Argo,

5
quantum mortalem Delia sphaera ratem.

5
as much as the Delian sphere surpasses a mortal ship.

95. IN MORACHUM

95. AGAINST MORACHUS

Mors nox perpetua est; mori proinde
non suadet sibi nyctalops Morachus,
in solis titubans ne eat tenebris.

Death is a perpetual night; therefore
the nyctalops Morachus does not urge himself to die,
stumbling in the sunlight, lest he go into the darkness.

96. IN OBITUM HENRICI MAGNAE BRITANNIAE PRINCIPIS

96. ON THE DEATH OF HENRY, PRINCE OF GREAT BRITAIN

Grandior et primis fatis post terga relictis,
    concipiens animo iam nova regna suo,
princeps corripitur vulgari febre Britannus;
    hinc lapso ut coepit vivere flore perit.
sic moriemur? ad haec ludibria nascimur? et spes

Fuller-grown, his earliest fates left behind him,
    conceiving now in his own spirit new realms,
the British prince is seized by a common fever;
    hence, with his bloom slipped, as he began to live, he perishes.
Shall we die thus? Are we born for these mockeries? And hope

5
fortunaeque hominum tam cito corruerint?

5
and the fortunes of men collapse so quickly?

97. DE FRANCISCO DRACO

97. ON FRANCIS DRAKE

Nomine Dracus erat signatus ut incolat undas;
Dracum namque anatem lingua Britanna vocat.

By the name Drake he was marked, that he might inhabit the waves;
for the British tongue calls a duck a “drake.”

98. IN OBITUM IACOBI HUISII

98. ON THE DEATH OF JACOB HUISIUS

Heu non maturo mihi fato, dulcis Huissi,
    occidis, heu, annis digne Mathusaliis;
occidis ex morbo quem fraus et avara Synerti
    saevitia ingenuit; cui mala multa viro
det Deus; et, lachrymis quotquot tua funera flerunt

Alas, not by a ripe fate for me, sweet Huissi,
    you fall, alas, worthy of Methuselahian years;
you fall from a disease which the fraud and avaricious savagery of Synertus
    engendered; to that man may God give many evils;
and, by as many tears as wept your funeral

5
in diras versis, ira odioque necent.

5
turned into dire imprecations, may they slay with wrath and hatred.

99. IN BOSTILLUM

99. AGAINST BOSTILLUS

Audiit ut cuculos comedi Bostillus in aula
moechus, abit metuens prospiciens sibi.

When Bostillus heard that cuckoos were being eaten in the hall
the adulterer goes away, afraid, looking out for himself.

100. IN FANNIUM

100. AGAINST FANNIUS

Hispani bibit indies lagenam
vini Fannius; usque cruditatem
causatur stomachi; novem decemve
ante annis cucumem unicum quod edit
maturum minus; isthic, isthic usque

Fannius drinks daily a flagon
of Spanish wine; he continually pleads
crudity (indigestion) of the stomach; nine or ten
years before, the single cucumber that he ate
less than ripe; that one, that one always

5
haerens ventriculum gravat, nec esse
Hispani immemorem sinit Lyaei.

5
clinging, it weighs down the stomach, nor does it allow
him to be unmindful of Spanish Lyaeus.

101. IN APRUM

101. AGAINST A BOAR

Impurus, sexu nec Aper scortator in uno,
cum lotii clausus forte meatus erat,
sic periit; misero sua facta urina ruina est,
it poenae causa in pene nocente fuit.

Impure, nor a whoremonger in one sex alone, Aper,
when the meatus of urine happened to be closed,
thus he perished; his own urine became the wretch’s ruin,
this was the cause of the punishment—in the nocent penis.

102. AD CALVUM

102. TO CALVUS

Non Anglos carnis defectu, Calve, bovinae
    Caletum Galli deseruisse ferunt,
sed condimenti quod profert acre Sinapi;
    hoc ioculoque sibi Gallia tota placet.
coccineo hanc hosti nuper cum dederet urbem,

They say, Calvus, that the English did not desert Calais to the Gauls because of a lack of bovine flesh (beef),
but because of the condiment which sharp Mustard produces; with this and with the jest all Gaul pleases itself.
when it recently gave this city to the enemy by the Scarlet-clad,

5
neutrius Gallo copia, crede, fuit.

5
believe it, there was copious supply of neither for the Gaul.

103. IN CORVINUM

103. AGAINST CORVINUS

Effodiat sibi, Calve, oculos Corvinus, Homero,
ut sperat, similis non tamen esse potest.

Let Corvinus gouge out his eyes for himself, Calvus, in the manner of Homer,
as he hopes, he nevertheless cannot be similar.

104. IN CINNAM

104. AGAINST CINNA

Daemonis effigie compressit Cinna puellam;
deinde sacerdotem se facit; atque fugat
daemonium ut voluit; gravida sed virgine, nescit
anne pater daemon, vel sacer hospes erat.

With a demon’s effigy Cinna pressed a girl;
then he makes himself a priest; and he puts the demon to flight as he wished;
but the maiden pregnant—yet a virgin—he does not know
whether the father was the demon, or the sacred guest.

105. AD NAEVOLAM

105. TO NAEVOLA

Ebrius occurrit quoties tibi Naevola, vinum
non nimium, dicis, sed bibit ille malum.

Drunk Naevola meets you whenever;
not too much wine, you say, but he imbibes evil.

106. IN CALVUM

106. AGAINST CALVUS

Divinas bona, Calve, tibi, sed sola futura
semper; et haec semper sola futura puto.

You divine good things for yourself, Calvus, but only things always to be future;
and I think these will always be only future.

107. AD EURUM

107. TO EURUS

Vocem Lyctus habet parem cicadis,
aut qualem tenues feruntur umbrae
ad ripas Stygis edere eiulantes.
hunc si quis novus audiat loquentem,
exhaustum poterit phthisi putare;

Lyctus has a voice on a par with cicadas,
or such as the slender shades are said
to utter, wailing, at the banks of Styx.
if some newcomer should hear this fellow speaking,
he could think him exhausted by phthisis;

5
ipsum sin oculis metit, Cyclopum
ceu spectans aliquem timebit auctis
membris horribilem, atque ventricosum.
vox tam disparilis fit unde, dicam?
sic, Eure, expediam: creasse mutum

5
but if one measures him with the eyes, as if gazing at some Cyclops
he will fear one horrible with augmented limbs,
and ventricose. From where such a disparate voice comes to be, shall I say?
thus, Eurus, I will expound: that he was created mute

10
naturam voluisse credo Lyctum;
errantemque dedisse semimutum.

10
Nature, I believe, wished Lyctus to have been created mute;
and, erring, has bestowed him semi-mute.

108. AD EUNDEM

108. TO THE SAME

Mentem pervertit gravis ut iactura Metello,
sic inopinatum Lysitelique lucrum.
harum quae maior fuerit dementia quaeris?
damna ferens; curas nam petit, Eure, duas.

As a heavy loss perverts Metellus’s mind,
so does an unanticipated lucre—and Lysitelus’s lucre.
Which dementia of these was greater, you ask?
the one bearing losses; for he, Eurus, seeks two cares.

109. AD PONTICUM

109. TO PONTICUS

Qualiscunque suam contemnit foemina famam,
nullum, etsi decies, Pontice, iurat, amat.

Whatever sort of woman contemns her own reputation,
she loves no one, Ponticus, even if she swears it ten times.

110. IN LYCHEN

110. AGAINST LYCHEN

Graecia praeclare pulchras vocat élfesibo¤aw,
quippe proci praestant munera, forma procos;
sed formosa Lyche vivit neglecta; quot alma
nam Cytherea trahit, fusca Minerva fugat.

Greece splendidly calls the beautiful élfesibo¤aw,
for suitors present gifts, beauty attracts suitors;
but beautiful Lyche lives neglected; for as many
as kindly Cytherea draws, dusky Minerva puts to flight.

111. IN FLORAM

111. AGAINST FLORA

Omnia consciolis, bona tantum narrat amanti
Flora; ita flacessit fama, virescit amor.

Everything to her confidants, only good things to her lover does Flora tell;
thus fame grows flaccid, love flourishes.

112. AD AREANAM

112. TO AREANA

Quod sis casta (Areana) nego, deciesque negabo,
    credaris tota talis in urbe licet.
nam tuus insequitur dum putida scorta maritus,
    dum turpi, et vario ruptus amore perit:
crede mihi quotquot noti meretricibus illis

That you are chaste (Areana) I deny, and I will deny it ten times,
    though you may be believed such in the whole city.
for while your husband pursues putrid harlots,
    while, shattered by shameful and various love, he perishes:
believe me, however many are known to those courtesans

5
    sunt homines, noti sunt, Areana, tibi:
sive equites, seu magnatum de stemmate creti;
    ruris an urbis erit; pomifer, anne cocus;
omnes, mille licet, te sunt, o casta, potiti;
    omnium et in morbos sic vitiata ruis.

5
    there are men—yes, they are known, Areana, to you:
whether knights, or sprung from the lineage of magnates;
    whether of the countryside or of the city; a fruit-grower, or a cook;
all, though there be a thousand, have possessed you, O chaste one;
    and thus, vitiated by all, you rush into diseases.

113. AD PONTICUM

113. TO PONTICUS

Suspecto quid fure canes cum, Pontice, latrent
dixissent melius, si potuere loqui?

When dogs, Ponticus, bark at a suspected thief,
would they have said it better, if they had been able to speak?

114. AD LABIENUM

114. TO LABIENUS

Nonnullis medicina placet nova, notaque sordet;
sed tutas praefer tu, Labiene, novis.

To some a new medicine pleases, and the known grows sordid;
but you, Labienus, prefer the safe to the new.

115. IN ALBUM

115. ON THE ALBUM

Quem vitae cursum, quam spem, sortemve sequaris,
quaerendo tremulus factus es, Albe, senex,
sic tumulo mox ut nequeas inscribere Vixi;
embrioque, aut minus hoc, cum morieris, eris.

Which course of life, what hope, or what lot to follow,
by inquiring you have been made tremulous, Albus, old man,
so that soon you will be unable to inscribe upon your tomb “I Lived”;
and an embryo, or less than this, you will be when you die.

116. DE LYCORI ET BERNINO

116. ON LYCORIS AND BERNINO

Gratis non amat, et sapit Lycoris:
moechae dat nihil, et sapit Berinus.

Lycoris does not love gratis, and is wise:
to the adulteress he gives nothing, and Berinus is wise.

117. AD GALLAM

117. TO GALLA

Cum loqueris resoni prodit se putrida nasi
pernicies: si vis, Galla, placere, tace.

When you speak, the putrid bane of your resounding nose betrays itself;
if you wish, Galla, to please, be silent.

118. IN NERVAM

118. ON NERVA

Et miser atque vorax optat sibi Nerva podagram,
solis divitibus qualis adesse solet.
errat si putat id voti prodesse gulosis;
nam quid lauta iuvat mensa, iacente fame.

And wretched and voracious Nerva wishes gout for himself,
such as is accustomed to be present to the rich alone.
he errs if he thinks that wish profits the gluttonous;
for what does a lavish table avail, when hunger lies prostrate.

119. AD PONTICUM

119. TO PONTICUS

Femina +vindicta+ citiusne ardescit amore?
Phoebo, si dicis, Pontice, maior eris.

Does a woman blaze up more quickly with +vengeance+ than with love?
If you say so, Ponticus, you will be greater than Phoebus.

120. AD LABIENUM

120. TO LABIENUS

Vinum Theriacam magnam dixere vetusti
    authores; gratum est hoc, Labiene, tibi.
hinc te secure Baccho sine fine modoque
    imples; visceribus sanus an aeger idem est.
sed ne delires: dirum namque ipsa venenum

Wine the Great Theriac the ancient authors have called; this is pleasing to you, Labienus.
Hence you, securely, fill yourself with Bacchus without end or measure;
in the viscera, whether sound or sick, it is the same.
but do not rave: for the thing itself is a dire poison

5
Theriaca est, sumas si, Labiene, nimis.

5
It is theriac, if you take too much, Labienus.

121. IN LAUSUM

121. AGAINST LAUSUS

Lausus ut aeterna degit sub nube tabaccae,
coniux ardenti sic sua gaudet aqua:
vir fumum, haec flammam bibit; infumata maritus
tanquam perna olim, frixa sed uxor erit.

Lausus, as he passes his life beneath the eternal cloud of tobacco,
so his spouse rejoices in her own ardent water:
the man drinks smoke, she drinks flame; the husband will be smoked
like a ham, one day, but the wife will be fried.

122. AD PONTICUM

122. TO PONTICUS

Poenituisse Mydam voti sat constat avari,
    cumque cibus potusque aureus omnis erat.
nunc aurum sed eum potare chymista doceret,
    iratosque sibi ludere posse deos.
quid mirum tales auri si nectare lactet

It is quite agreed that Midas repented of his greedy vow,
    and when every food and drink was golden.
now a chymist would teach him to drink gold,
    and to be able to mock the gods enraged at him.
what wonder, if he suckles such men with nectar of gold

5
immunes morbis, diis similesque facit?
sed non diis similes sunt quos spes aurea fallit;
quales sint igitur (Pontice) dissimiles.

5
does it make them immune from diseases, and similar to the gods?
but those whom the golden hope deceives are not similar to the gods;
of what sort, then, (Ponticus) are they—dissimilar.

123. IN AULUM

123. AGAINST AULUS

Ex speculo pictor se pinxit ut Aulus amicae
dat tabulam; speculo mallet amica frui.

From a mirror the painter painted himself, as Aulus gives his girlfriend a panel;
the girlfriend would prefer to enjoy the mirror.

124. DE HENRICO PRINCIPE

124. ON PRINCE HENRY

Occubuit primis Henricus clarus in annis;
nec spolium mortis, sed pudor ille fuit.

Henry, illustrious, fell in his first years;
he was not the spoil of Death, but its shame.

125. AD PARIDEM

125. TO PARIS

Vt vetus adscivit sibi magna Britannia nomen,
    pingere se sexus caepit uterque, Pari;
haud sine vulneribus veteres tinxere Britanni
    corpora, divelli nec timuere cutem:
parcere sed Pictos sibi praecipit aula novellos,

As Great Britain adopted to itself an ancient name,
    each sex began to paint itself, Paris;
not without wounds the ancient Britons stained their bodies,
    nor did they fear to have the skin torn:
but the court bids to spare the new Picts for itself,

5
et tenera leves arte polire genas.
barbariem antiqui mores sapuere; recentes
mollitiem; neutrum mi placet ergo, Pari.

5
and to smooth with art their tender cheeks.
the ancient customs savored of barbarism; the recent ones
of softness; neither pleases me, therefore, Paris.

126. IN VACCERAM

126. AGAINST VACCERA

Damnatis quoties Vaccera turpe
immiscet ioculis, id esse dictum
non (ut velle videtur ore blaeso)
imprudenter ait, sed impudenter.

Whenever, his jests condemned, Vaccera mixes something shameful
into his jokes, he says that that was said
not (as he seems to wish with his lisping mouth)
imprudently, but impudently.

127. AD FURIUM

127. TO FURIUS

Sub medium culpae, Furi, cum coniuge moechum
prendit Aper; taurum iam vitulumne vocas?

In the very midst of the offense, Furi, Aper apprehended the adulterer with his wife;
do you now call him a bull or a calf?

128. AD BERINUM

128. TO BERINUS

Uxor quod nimium tua sit foecunda, Berine,
    conquereris; castae sic tamen esse solent:
addis ut implacido sit et ore, et more molesta,
    et pugnax; castae sic tamen esse solent:
quin aliis lepidam dicis magis atque benignam

Because your wife is too fecund, Berine,
    you complain; thus chaste women are wont to be:
you add that she is troublesome with an implacable look and manner,
    and combative; thus chaste women are wont to be:
nay, you even say she is more charming and benign to others

5
quam tibi: sic castae non tamen esse solent.

5
than to you: thus chaste women are nevertheless not wont to be.

129. AD EURUM

129. TO EURUS

Mortuus Hermus abhinc tribus est aut quatuor annis;
immo vivit, ais; mortuus, Eure, mihi est.

Hermus has been dead for three or four years now;
nay rather, he lives, you say; dead, Eurus, he is to me.

130. AD CRISPUM

130. TO CRISPUS

Mutua multa licet sestertia poscat amicus,
    maxima relligo est, Crispe, negare tibi.
sic numeras tamen ut lachrimis credaris obortis
    quod facis officii poenituisse tui.
nil tibi, Crispe, deest nisi digni vultus amici;

Though a friend may ask for many thousands of sesterces as a loan,
    it is the greatest religious scruple, Crispus, to refuse you.
yet you count it out so that, with tears welling up, you would be thought
    to have regretted the duty you perform.
nothing is lacking to you, Crispus, except the face of a worthy friend;

5
nam, non ut decet, at quod decet usque facis.

5
for, not as is decent, but what is decent you do continually.

131. AD CHLOEN

131. TO CHLOE

Mortales tua forma quod misellos
multos illaqueet, Chloe, superbis:
hoc sed nomine carnifex triumphet.

That your form ensnares many poor little mortals,
Chloe, with proud airs:
but under that name let the executioner triumph.

132. IN LABIENUM

132. AGAINST LABIENUS

Perdere cum voluit potuit Labienus; Hybernum
virtute hac potuit perdere cum voluit.

To destroy when he wished, Labienus was able; Hybernum
by this valor he could destroy when he wished.

133. IN BRUSSILIUM

133. AGAINST BRUSSILIUS

Ardet Brussilii uxor histrionem;
is funambulam; utrinque flamma saevit,
nullo extinguibilis liquore, nullo.
primum grande nemos voravit, inde
villas tres, ovium greges, boumque

Brussilius’s wife burns for an actor;
he for a funambulist; on both sides the flame rages,
extinguishable by no liquid, by none.
first it devoured a great grove, then
three villas, flocks of sheep, and herds of oxen

5
circum pascua tosta mugientum,
vix aula furor abstinet paterna;
et si fas miseris malum ominari,
tandem cum domino domum cremabit.

5
around the tost pastures of the lowing cattle,
scarcely does the fury refrain from the paternal hall;
and, if it is right for the wretched to forebode ill,
at last it will cremate the house together with its master.

134. IN CACCULAM

134. AGAINST CACCULA

Caccula, cum tu sis vetus accusator, adaugens
crimina, quam causas daemonis instar agis!

Caccula, since you are an old accuser, augmenting
crimes, how like a demon you plead cases!

135. IN CINNAM

135. AGAINST CINNA

Dic sapere, et sapiet; stupidum dic, Cinna stupescet;
si furere, insanus; si premis, aeger erit;
dic modo, fiet idem quod dicis; nec simulare
novit, habent vires verba veneficii.

Say “be sapient,” and he will be sapient; call him stupid, Cinna will be stupefied;
if you say he raves, he’ll be insane; if you press it, he’ll be ailing;
only say it—he’ll become the very thing you say; nor does he know how to simulate;
words of witchcraft have power.

136. AD CALVUM

136. TO CALVUS

Ne tibi, Calve, petas socios in amore fideles;
si quod amas metuis perdere, solus ama.
nocte suo fidum domino domuique molossum
una salax cogit prodere cuncta canis:
nocturni id fures norunt, quantumque libido

Do not, Calvus, seek allies faithful in love;
if you fear to lose what you love, love alone.
at night a Molossian, faithful to his master and his house,
is driven by a single salacious dog to betray everything:
nocturnal thieves know that, and how much libido

tentabit firmam deiicietque fidem.

will test and cast down firm fidelity.

137. AD HARPALUM

137. TO HARPALUS

Nec bene, nec belle, semper tamen, Harpale, cantas;
artem disce, canes sic minus, at melius.

Neither well nor beautifully, yet always, Harpalus, you sing;
learn the art; thus you will sing less, but better.

138. IN PORCUM ET NERVAM

138. AGAINST PORCUS AND NERVA

Desinit auditis campanis meiere Porcus,
    sit vesica licet mole molesta gravi.
haud lotium contra, sonuit si fistula, fraenat
    Nerva; sed invito sic ruit omne, miser
ut penitus madeat; nec ei prodessse matella

Porcus stops pissing when the bells have been heard,
    though his bladder be troublesome with a heavy burden.
On the contrary, if a pipe has sounded, Nerva does not rein in his urine;
    but thus, against his will, it all rushes out, poor wretch,
so that he is soaked through; nor does the chamber-pot help him

5
possit, ita audaces evocat imber aquas.
motus tam discors illis qua vi fit, Aquinas
quaerat; nos risu res satis ipsa iuvat.

5
can, thus a rain-shower calls forth audacious waters.
by what force so discordant a motion is made in them, let Aquinas
inquire; for us the thing itself suffices, it delights with laughter.

139. IN POETASTROS

139. AGAINST THE POETASTERS

Sulphure vicenda est prurigo poetica nullo;
sed neque Mercurio, quem fugat illa deum.

The poetic itch is overcome by no sulphur;
nor even by Mercury, the god whom it puts to flight.

140. DE GERMANIS

140. ON THE GERMANS

Germanus minime quod sit malus, efficit aequum
tota quod explosis gens amat effugiis.
nam divirticulis cum lex laetabitur, ansam
dat fraudi, multos nec sinit esse bonos.

The German, by no means because he is bad, brings about what is equitable—
which the whole nation, with evasions exploded, loves.
for when the law will rejoice in diverticula (loopholes), it gives a handle
to fraud, nor does it allow many to be good.

141. IN GLAUCUM

141. AGAINST GLAUCUS

Alas amisit Glaucus, draco nam fuit olim;
nunc serpens factus nec leve virus habet.

Glaucus has lost his wings, for he was once a dragon;
now, made a serpent, he has no slight venom.

142. IN APRUM

142. AGAINST THE BOAR

Septem civis Aper degit, tot et aulicos, annos;
vivere scit melius quam, Labiene, mori.

Seven years Aper has spent as a citizen, and just so many as a courtier;
he knows, Labienus, how to live better than how to die.

143 IN CRISPINUM

143 AGAINST CRISPINUS

Uxorem Crispinus habet, tamen indigus unam
    vix alit, extremam sensit uterque famem.
ipsam dives amat Florus, fremit ergo maritus,
    quanquam rivali nunc opus esse videt.
moechum saepe vocat, sed cum, qui sustinet, ipse

Crispinus has a wife, yet indigent he scarcely nourishes one;    each has felt extreme hunger.
the rich Florus loves her herself, therefore the husband rages,
    although he sees that now there is need of a rival.
he often calls him an adulterer, but since he himself, who sustains,

5
qua fruitur, victu, vestibus, aere domum,
dispeream nisi sit vere Crispinus adulter;
sponsus, qui sponsi munia Florus obit.

5
by which he enjoys—victuals, vesture, coin for the household,
let me perish unless Crispinus is truly the adulterer;
the bridegroom—Florus—who discharges the duties of a bridegroom.

144. DE SUDORE BRITANNICO

144. ON THE BRITISH SWEAT

Quid ni pestis sit sudor malus Angilica? cives
Hybernis gaudent sole vigente togis.

Why should the evil English sweat not be a plague? citizens
rejoice in hibernal togas while the sun is vigorous.

145. AD THESPILEM

145. TO THESPILE

Inferius labrum cur mordes, Thespilis? illi
ne noceas, si vis basia laeta tibi.
alterum iners cupido quamvis famuletur amanti,
at magis hoc docta mobilitate placet.

Why do you bite the lower lip, Thespilis? Do not harm it,
if you want joyous kisses for yourself.
Though the other, inert, may minister to the desirous lover,
yet this one pleases more with learned mobility.

146. AD PONTICVM

146. TO PONTICUS

Quanto causidicum magis arguo, si malus idem est,
tanto plus laudo, Pontice, si bonus est.

The more I arraign an advocate, if he is likewise bad,
so much the more I praise, Ponticus, if he is good.

147. AD GALLAM

147. TO GALLA

An tua plus sitiat lingua, an plus, Galla, loquatur,
    ardua res dictu plenaque litis erit.
nam quoties sitit illa bibis; bene potaque garris;
    procreat unde novam multa loquela sitim.
dum bibis ergo invita taces, mora nec datur illi.

Whether your tongue thirsts more, or speaks more, Galla,
    will be an arduous thing to say and full of litigation.
for as often as it thirsts you drink; and, well-drunk, you prattle;
    whence much loquacity begets a new thirst.
while you drink, therefore, unwilling you are silent, and no delay is granted to it.

5
indefessa anima sed bibis, aut loqueris.

5
with an indefatigable spirit, however, you drink, or you speak.

148. DE LONDINENSIBUS

148. ON THE LONDONERS

Sunt Londinenses Coritani, sivi Brigantes,
    seu Cambri; raros urbs alit ampla suos.
sic Londinates producit mixta propago,
    plurimus inter quos semicolonus erit,
aegre mutandus; partis nam foenore nummis

There are Londoners who are Coritani, or Brigantes,
    or Cambrians; the ample city nourishes few of its own.
thus a mixed lineage brings forth the Londoners,
    among whom very many will be a semi-colonist,
hard to be changed; for by the usury of a share in coins

5
    quantum quisque potest praedia civis emit,
in rus festinans, aetas ni praepedit, ipse;
    haeredi saltem dant nova rura locum,
qui, semiurbanus, velut hermaphroditus habetur
    indigenis, nam nil rus nisi rure placet.

5
    as much as each one can, the citizen buys estates,
hastening into the countryside himself, unless age hinders;
    at least they give the heir a place for new fields,
who, half-urban, is held by the natives as like a hermaphrodite,
    for nothing country pleases except what is country.

10
quippe canes, vel equos semper, vel aratra loquuntur;
illis caetera sunt maxima barbaries.
o utinam civis tantum civilia tractet;
rustica qui ruri non alienus erit. 149

10
indeed they are always talking about dogs, or horses, or ploughs;
to them everything else is utmost barbarism.
O would that a citizen handled only civil things;
the rustic, in the countryside, will not be alien to rustic things. 149

149. AD ARETHUSAM

149. TO ARETHUSA

Cernitur in nivea cito, si fit, sindone labes;
formosis eadem lex, Arethusa, datur.

A blemish is quickly discerned, if it occurs, on a snow-white sindon;
the same law is given to the beautiful, Arethusa.

150. AD IUSTINIANUM

150. TO JUSTINIAN

Causidicos ditat, res perdit et una clientes,
uno quae verbo est, Iustiniane, mora.

It enriches the advocates, and at once ruins cases and clients,
which, in one word, Justinian, is delay.

151. DE HOROLOGIO PORTABILI

151. ON THE PORTABLE CLOCK

Temporis interpres, parvum congestus in orbem,
qui memores repetis nocte dieque sonos:
ut semel instructus iucunde sex quater horas
mobilibus rotulis irrequietus agis:
nec mecum quocunque feror comes ire gravaris,

Interpreter of time, packed into a small orb,
you who repeat reminding sounds by night and by day:
once equipped, you pleasantly drive twenty-four hours
with mobile little wheels, unresting;
nor, companion, do you begrudge to go with me wherever I am borne,

annumerans vitae damna, levansque meae.

enumerating the losses of life, and alleviating those of my own.

152. AD EURUM

152. TO EURUS

Nec turpe lucrum, nec decus, nec in plebem
invida potestas, pulcrha sed poetarum
votum pudicum est fama; <nam> bonis meta
omnibus, at illis unica, et mera, et sola;
auferre quam merentibus furens nescit

Neither base lucre, nor honor, nor an envious power against the plebs,
but fair Fame is the modest vow of poets; <for> to good men the goal
of all things, but for them the unique, and pure, and sole;
which a raging power does not know how to take away from the deserving

5
vis vulnerata divitum: Aulus hinc vivit;
liberque Iunius, et amabilis Flaccus;
et vile quisquis vulgus, Eure, fastidit.

5
the force, wounded, of the wealthy: Aulus lives from this;
and Junius free, and amiable Flaccus;
and whoever, Eurus, spurns the vile vulgar crowd.

153. AD LABIENUM

153. TO LABIENUS

Mentiri pro te servo si sis bonus author;
pro se mentiri, cur, Labiene, vetas?

If you are a good backer to your slave for lying on your behalf;
why, Labienus, do you forbid him to lie for himself?

154. AD HAEMUM

154. TO HAEMUS

Difficile est reperire fidem, si quaeris in aula,
pene tibi delator tertius, Haeme, vir est.
talem pone novis nimium qui partibus haeret;
officiosus homo est? insidiosus erit.

It is difficult to find fidelity if you seek it in the court,
for you, Haemus, almost one man in three is a delator.
Count as such a one whoever clings too much to new parties;
is the man officious? he will be insidious.

155. AD IUSTINIANUM

155. TO JUSTINIAN

Quatuor et viginti Arthuri regia mensa
    convivas aluit; quaeque rotunda fuit.
mensis iam reges longis utuntur, at uni
    vix est conviviae, Iustiniane, locus;
Augustus toto cum maximus esset in orbe,

The royal table of Arthur fed twenty-four guests;
    and it was round too.
now kings make use of long tables, but for one
    there is scarcely a place at the banquet, Justinian;
when Augustus was greatest in the whole world,

5
illi convictor sat Maro gratus erat.
sed sine compare sit Maro, sic sine compare rex est
delicias populus quem vocat ipse suas.

5
to him as a table-companion Maro was quite welcome.
but let Maro be without compare; thus without compare is the king
whom the people themselves call their own darling.

156. AD FAUSTINUM

156. TO FAUSTINUS

Curvam habeat tua cervicem, Faustine, puella:
sic, tanquam cupiat basia, semper erit.

Let your girl, Faustinus, have a curved neck:
thus she will always be as though she desired kisses.

157. AD IUSTINIANUM

157. TO JUSTINIAN

Si quaeruntur opes, vel honores, sive voluptas,
vix est qui fruitur, Iustiniane, satis.
nam satis est quicquid naturae sufficit; ultra
quod poscit mens, est, Iustiniane, nimis.

If wealth is sought, or honors, or pleasure,
hardly is there one who enjoys enough, Justinian.
for enough is whatever suffices for nature; beyond
what the mind demands is, Justinian, excessive.

158. IN HAEDUM

158. AGAINST HAEDUS

Causidicus bene dotatam cum duxerat Haedus,
    nulla viro vigilis cura clientis erat.
vere sed expleto, cum dote extinguitur uxor,
    desertoque animi detumuere novi.
hic parat omnimodis pulsos revocare clientes;

When Haedus, the advocate, had taken a well-dowered wife,
    the man had no vigilant care for a client.
but when spring was completed, the wife is extinguished along with the dowry,
    and his new spirits, once deserted, subsided.
here he prepares by every method to call back the clients he had driven away;

5
nam nuc si causas non agit Haedus, egit.

5
for now, if Haedus does not plead causes, he has pleaded.

159. AD EURUM

159. TO EURUS

Qui compotorem sibimet proponit amicum,
compos propositi non erit, Eure, sui.

He who proposes to himself as a friend a drinking-companion,
will not be compos of his own purpose, Eurus.

160. AD GLUBUM

160. TO GLUBUS

Haeres avari, Glube, foeneratoris
viperea qui nunc flagra flet tua causa,
praedia, age, vende, pasce scorta, scurrasque;
disperde maleparta alea, gula, luxu,
egensque quaeras foenore at triplo nummos;

Glube, heir of the avaricious usurer,
who now weeps the viperine scourges on your account,
come, sell the estates, feed harlots and buffoons;
squander the ill-gotten gains by dice, by gluttony, by luxury,
and, destitute, seek coins by usury at triple interest;

5
instesque, licet irrideant trapezitae;
nec desine usque dum infimus rogatorum
te filium fateare foeneratoris.

5
and press on, though the bankers may scoff;
nor cease until, the lowest of the petitioners,
you confess yourself the son of a usurer.

161. AD AMATUM

161. TO AMATUS

Multas cum visit regiones Paetus et urbes,
    in patriam laete deinde receptus erat.
ut mos est, rogat hunc civis de mercibus, armis
    miles; de ruris rustica cura bonis;
aulicus ad vestes quod pertinet; aulica fucos,

When Paetus visits many regions and cities,
    thereafter he was gladly received into his fatherland.
as is the custom, a citizen asks him about merchandise, about arms
    a soldier; the rustic concern about the goods of the countryside;
the courtier about what pertains to garments; the court-lady, cosmetics,

5
atque oleum talci; singula quisque sua:
solus qui solo nutritur iure Britanno,
externa de re quaerit, Amate, nihil.

5
and oil of talc; each his own particular:
he alone who is nourished by British law alone,
asks nothing about an external matter, Amatus.

162. IN TUCCAM

162. AGAINST TUCCA

Plus aequo gladio pacis qui tempore credit,
Tucca, suo, gladio sed sine, saepe perit.

He who, more than is right, trusts in the sword in a time of peace,
Tucca, often dies by his own sword—yet without a sword.

163. AD LUCIAM

163. TO LUCIA

Lucia, vir nihili est qui quanti virgo sit aeris
curat: venalem sic sibi quaerat equum.
nequicquam magna certant de dote puellae,
plus aero innuptas vita pudica beat.

Lucia, a man of nothing is he who cares for how much bronze (cash) a maiden is worth;
thus he seeks for himself a venal horse.
in vain they contend about a great dowry for the girl,
more than with cash, a chaste life blesses the unwed.

164. IN CACCULAM

164. AGAINST CACCULA

Acturus causas amisit Caccula vocem,
    inter praecones illico quaerit eam,
causidicosque illos qui vociferare solebant
    ingenti strepitu; deserit inde forum,
foemellasque rogat sua quae venalia clamant,

About to plead cases, Caccula lost his voice,
    among the criers he immediately seeks it,
and those advocates who were accustomed to vociferate
    with huge din; from there he deserts the forum,
and he asks the little girls who cry their own vendibles,

5
    urbnais servis deinde molestus erat;
turrim mox adiit, cunctos rogitansque, locusque
    omnes vestigans: vox tamen usque latet.
bombarda tandem, quae turrim evertere posset,
    explosa, inventa Caccula voce redit.

5
    then he was troublesome to the urban servants;
he soon went to the tower, and, questioning everyone, and the places
    investigating them all: yet the voice still lies hidden.
at last a bombard, which could overturn the tower,
    having been exploded, he returns, Caccula’s voice found.

165. DE SERVO SUO

165. ON HIS OWN SERVANT

Servo iter ingressus gladium committo ferendum;
    mox soli atque omni cum sine teste sumus,
"aurum, noster ait, "gestas, here; nec latet, id iam
    auferre armati vis ab inerme potest;
factum quis prodet? dominum spoliare sed absit;

Having entered upon the journey, I commit a sword to a slave for bearing;
    soon we are alone and without any witness at all,
"gold," our man says, "you carry, master; nor is it hidden, that now
    the force of an armed man can carry off from an unarmed;
who will betray the deed? to despoil the master, however, far be it;

5
    sed facilis res est, si volo; nolo tamen."
"credo," aio, et laudo pro tempore; pergit ineptus
    dicere qualis hero quamque fidelis erit.
inde domum laetus redeo, gladioque recepto
    eiicio vacuum, despicioque fidem;

5
    “but it’s an easy matter, if I want; I do not want, however.”
“I believe it,” I say, and I praise him for the time; the inept fellow goes on
    to say what sort he will be to his master, and how faithful he will be.
thence I return home happy, and, the sword taken back,
    I throw him out empty, and I despise his fidelity;

10
parque pari referens, "fidum te sensimus, inquam,
et retinere licet, si volo; nolo tamen."
nam neque credendus, nec habendus, talia servus
aut qui concipere, aut non reticere, potest.

10
and, returning equal for equal, "we have perceived you faithful," I say,
"and it is permitted to retain you, if I wish; I do not wish, however."
for neither to be trusted nor to be kept is a servant
who can either conceive such things, or not keep silence.

166. AD HAEDUM

166. TO THE KID

Ignarum iuvenem nudum cur trudis in urbem?
    neglecto caecum quis duce tentat iter?
Gnossia non totidem domus erroribus, Haeme,
    fallax, his filo quamlibet esset opus,
aetati crudae quot vita urbana tenebras 5
    obiicit, impuras et sine luce vias.

Why do you shove an unknowing youth, naked, into the city?
    with the guide neglected, who attempts a blind journey?
The Cnossian house did not have so many errancies, Haemus,
    deceitful, as for these there would be need of thread, however much,
how many darknesses urban life throws before a raw age 5
    and impure and lightless ways.

ne duce destituas titubantem nocte dieque
filiolum, salvum si cupis, Haeme, tibi.

do not desert the little son, stumbling by night and by day, without a guide,
if you desire him safe for yourself, Haeme.

167. AD LABIENUM

167. TO LABIENUS

Tres novit, Labiene, Phoebus artes,
ut narrant veteres sophi; peraeque
quas omnes colui, colamque semper:
nunc omnes quoque musicum, et poetam
agnoscunt, medicumque Campianum. 5

Phoebus knows three arts, Labienus,
as the ancient sophists tell; equally
all of which I have cultivated, and I will cultivate always:
now too all acknowledge me a musician and a poet,
and Campianus the medic. 5

168. AD CALATHEN

168. TO CALATHUS

Graecas, Latinas, litterasque Gallicas
laudo: puellae lingua sed si sit bona,
cur uteretur, Calathe, alia quam sua?

I praise Greek, Latin, and Gallic letters;
but if a girl's tongue be good,
why would she, Calathe, use any other than her own?

169. IN NAEVOLAM

169. AGAINST NAEVOLA

Tres est pollicitus rationes Naevola Cinnae,
nummos qui nollet reddere. reddit eas:
nil quod debetur prima; altera nil quid haberet;
tertia non presto est: Naevola debet eam.

Naevola has promised Cinna three reasons,
since he did not wish to render the coins. He renders them:
the first, that nothing is owed; the second, that he has nothing;
the third is not at hand: Naevola owes that one.

170. AD EURUM

170. TO EURUS

Pro patria si quis dulci se dixerit, Eure,
    velle mori, ridens ut sibi vivat, ais,
civis avarus; et ut servetur Caccula rostris;
    splendeat ut picta veste rotaque Calus.
sic tu; pro patria fortis cadet attamen omnis;

If anyone, for the fatherland, should say that he sweetly wishes, Eurus,
    to die, you say, laughing, that he, an avaricious citizen, does so that he may live for himself;
and that Caccula may be preserved for the Rostra;
    and that Calus may shine with painted vestment and wheel.
thus you; nevertheless every brave man will fall for the fatherland;

5
si bona sit, merita est; sin mala, dulce mori.

5
if it be good, it is merited; if bad, sweet to die.

171. IN CRASSUM

171. AGAINST CRASSUS

Crassus ab urbe profecturus, quam firmiter haerens,
    ludorum causa, desidiosus amat:
tres licet haud ultra noctes sit rure futurus,
    idque absolvat iter dimidiata dies:
sollenen ad caenam primos invitat amicos,

Crassus, about to depart from the city, how firmly he clings,
    for the sake of the games, the slothful man loves it:
although he will be in the countryside for not beyond three nights,
    and a halved day absolves that journey:
to a solemn dinner he invites his foremost friends,

5
    ceu natitaliam quam celebrare parat;
magna cum pompa, curva resonante sedetur
    buccina, et in vitrum plena refusa salus,
convivas aequo quae iure perambulat omnes;
    auspicium foelix hinc sibi sumit iter.

5
    as though a birthday which he is preparing to celebrate;
with great pomp, with the curved buccina resounding, there is sitting
    and into the glass a full “health” is poured,
which, by equal right, goes around all the guests;
    from this he takes for himself a happy auspice for the journey.

10
Crassus at extremis tanquam rediturus ab Indis,
    mox testamentum perficit; inde nova
nata salus, reditum faustum quae spondet amico;
    postremo edictum tempus euntis erat;
Maiae nimirum (coelo suadente) calendis

10
But Crassus, as if about to return from the farthest Indies,
    soon perfects a testament; then a new-born
safety arose, which promises an auspicious return to his friend;
    at last the decreed time of the one going was;
surely on the Kalends of May (with heaven advising)

15
exibit; nonae iamque Decembris erant.

15
he will go forth; and already it was the Nones of December.

172. AD LOLLIUM

172. TO LOLLIUS

Ut locupleti addat pauper, praepostera res est:
divitis est, Lolli, gloria sola, dare.

That a poor man add to a wealthy man is a preposterous matter:
the sole glory of the rich man, Lollius, is to give.

173. AD LAURAM

173. TO LAURA

Singula dum miror tua labra, oculosque, genasque;
quicquid id est verbis, Laura, modesta premis.
crines sin laudo, perfusa rubore silescis;
quam misere non hos esse fatere tuos.

While I marvel at each—your lips, your eyes, and your cheeks;
whatever it is, Laura, you, modest, suppress it with words.
if I praise your hair, suffused with blush you fall silent;
how wretchedly you confess that these are not yours.

174. AD PONTICUM

174. TO PONTICUS

Hic, illic, et ubique, et nullibi, Pontice, lex est;
cumque tenes vinctam te latebrosa fugit.
pauciloqua antiquis constabat certa Britannis;
at nunc ambigua est lex sine lege loquens.

Here, there, and everywhere, and nowhere, Ponticus, there is law;
and when you hold it bound, stealthily it flees you.
pauciloquent to the ancient Britons stood a certain law;
but now the law is ambiguous, a law speaking without law.

175. AD AFRAM

175. TO AFRA

Calcat sublimis vulgaria verba poesis,
    nec narrat, sed res ambitiosa creat.
ludere si libet, aetatis sibi reddere florem,
    par Hecubae quanquam sis, prius, Afra, valet,
quadrupedis pigrae quam ros, cerussave inuncta,

Sublime poetry treads upon vulgar words,
    nor narrates, but creates ambitious things.
if it pleases to play, to give itself back the bloom of youth,
    it can do so sooner, Afra, though you be a match for Hecuba,
than by the dew of a sluggish quadruped, or anointed with ceruse,

5
    vel minium Venetum, fulva vel empta coma;
dentes seu vere quos inserit Argus eburnos,
    totaque mangonis pharmacoooea Lami.
suaviter illa tibi canet optatos Hymenaeos,
    et gratis faciet; quod tamen, Afra, veta:

5
    or Venetian minium, or tawny purchased hair;
eburnine teeth, which Argus truly inserts,
    and the whole huckster’s pharmacopoeia of Lamia.
sweetly she will sing for you the desired Hymeneals,
    and will do it gratis; which, however, Afra, forbid:

10
oscula det iuvenis, sed anus ferat aurea dona,
carminibus celebris quae cupit esse bonis.

10
let the young man give kisses, but let the old woman bring golden gifts,
who wishes to be celebrated by good songs.

176. AD ALBERICUM

176. TO ALBERIC

Res est quemlibet una quae benignum
et gratis facere (Alberice) possit;
nullum laedere, quamlibet merentem.

There is one thing which can make anyone benign
and at no cost (Alberic);
to injure no one, however deserving.

177. IN LARGUM

177. AGAINST LARGUS

Vendit Largus oves, laudatque emptoribus illas
ut teneras; teneras sed sibi laudat aves.

Largus sells sheep, and lauds them to the buyers as tender;
but for himself he lauds birds as tender.

178. AD CAROLUM FITZGEOFRIDUM

178. TO CHARLES FITZGEOFFREY

Iamdudum celebris scriptorum fama tuorum,
    in me autem ingenue non reticendus amor,
frustra obnitentem si non fortuna vetasset,
    in veteres dederat, Carole, delicias:
haec tibi qualiacunque tamen nova lusimus, ut nos

Long since the celebrated fame of your writings,
    and moreover the ingenuous love in me not to be kept silent,
if Fortune had not forbidden me, resisting in vain,
    had given me, Charles, to my former delights:
these new trifles for you, such as they are, nevertheless we have played, so that we

5
usque amplecteris non alieno animo.

5
you always embrace us with no alien mind.

179. AD STELLAM

179. TO STELLA

Vis, Stella, nomen inseri nostris tuum
compendiosis versibus?
an sat tibi est, o delicata, sidera
inter minora si mices?

Do you wish, Stella, that your name be inserted in our compendious verses?
or is it enough for you, O delicate one, if you scintillate among the minor stars?

180. AD EDOARDUM MYCHELBURNUM

180. TO EDWARD MYCHELBURN

Immemor o nostri quid agis? nec enim tibi magnus
natalis frustra rediit, monitorque vetustae
semper amicitiae novus, et iam debitor annus;
accipe nostra prior, tenui sed carmina cultu,
qualia sunt domini longo de funere rapta;

Unmindful of us, O, what are you doing? for indeed to you the great
natal day has not returned in vain, and a new monitor of the ever-ancient
friendship always, and now a debtor, is the year;
receive ours first, songs with slender cultivation,
such as are snatched from the master’s long obsequies;

5
posterior tua si compti quid musa resolvet,
festinans lepido quod portet epistola versu,
unicus antidotos facile exuperaveris omnes.
haec pauca interea, leve tanquam munus, habeto,
quae novus ex usu merito tibi destinat annus,

5
if later your Muse unlooses anything of the polished,
hastening what an epistle may carry in a charming verse,
you alone will easily surpass all antidotes.
meanwhile have these few, as a light gift,
which the new year, by custom and with merit, destines for you,

10
iusque sodalitii officio quocunque tuetur.
quanta sit horrifici Iovis inclementia cernis;
ut valeas lignis opus est; et si sapis, ipsi
cum falce, et tento nolles parsisse Priapo.

10
and the right of fellowship he protects by whatever duty.
you discern how great is the inclemency of horrific Jove;
to keep well you need firewood; and, if you are wise, you
would not have wished to spare Priapus himself, with his sickle and rigid.

181. IN GLAUCUM

181. AGAINST GLAUCUS

Tempore mitescit quantumvis fructus acerbus;
    fitque sapor gratus, qui modo crudus erat.
at Glaucus quanto evadit maturior annis,
    austerus tanto fit magis atque magis.
coniugis exemplo iam desinat esse malignus;

In time a fruit, however acerbic, mellows;
    and the savor becomes agreeable, which just now was crude.
but the more Glaucus grows mature with years,
    by that much he becomes more and more austere.
by his consort’s example let him now cease to be malign;

5
nam suavis, lepida est, nec gravis illa viris.

5
for she is suave, winsome, and not grievous to men.

182. AD RUTHAM

182. TO RUTHAM

Non satis hoc caute dixti modo, Rutha, sorori,
te tam formosam non pudet esse levem?
illud nam dictum subito sic laesa retorsit,
te non formosam non iuvat esse levem.

You did not say this cautiously enough just now, Rutha, to your sister—
are you, so beautiful, not ashamed to be light?
for, wounded, she straightway thus retorted that saying—
it does not please you, not beautiful, to be light.

183. IN GAURUM

183. AGAINST GAURUS

Perpetuo loqueris, nec desinis; idque molestum
omnibus est, et scis; sed tibi, Gaure, places.

You speak perpetually, nor do you cease; and that is vexatious
to everyone, and you know it; but to yourself, Gaurus, you are pleasing.

184. IN AURICIUM

184. AGAINST AURICIUS

Haud quenquam sinis, Aurici, te adire,
quantumvis humili adlocutione;
at nos alloquimur poli utriusque
rectorem, et rutila manu tonantem:
an non tu nimium tumes, sacerdos?

You allow no one, Auricius, to approach you,
however humble the allocution;
but we address the rector of both poles
and the Thunderer with a ruddy hand:
or do you not swell too much, priest?

185. IN HERENNIUM

185. AGAINST HERENNIUS

Alcinoo mortem toties minitatus (Herenni)
cur occurrenti postea mitis eras?
effraenem quamvis nequeas compescere linguam,
at te iam video posse tenere manum.

Having so often threatened death to Alcinous (Herennius),
why afterwards were you mild to him as he met you?
although you cannot restrain your unbridled tongue,
yet I now see you able to hold your hand.

186. AD AUGVSTISSIMUM CAROLUM MAGNAE BRITANNIAE PRINCIPEM, WALLIAE PRINCIPATUM PRO VETERI RITU AUSPICATVRUM, DIE 4 NOVEMBRIS

186. TO THE MOST AUGUST CHARLES, PRINCE OF GREAT BRITAIN, ABOUT TO ASSUME THE PRINCIPALITY OF WALES ACCORDING TO ANCIENT RITE, ON 4 NOVEMBER

Laetus Britannis, ecce, festinat dies,
    quintumque nunc praeoccupat
sacrum Novembris; perge, ter beata lux,
    quam festa signabit nota.
maturus annis, mente nec princeps minor

Glad for the Britons, behold, the day hastens,
    and now anticipates the sacred Fifth of November;
press on, thrice-blessed light,
    which a festal sign will mark.
mature in years, and a prince not lesser in mind

5
    Britanniarum Carolus,
ornandus hodie regiis insigniis,
    exibit ut sponsus novus,
puris ephaebis cinctus, et procerum choro,
    ceu gemma pompa in aurea;

5
    Charles of the Britains,
to be adorned today with royal insignia,
    will go forth as a new bridegroom,
girt with pure ephebes, and with a chorus of nobles,
    as a gem in a golden pomp;

10
exceptus hilari confluentum murmure,
    clarisque vulgi plausibus.
prodi, o beate, rem capesse publicam,
    umbra nimis torpes diu:
vestigiis iam assuesce maiorum inclytis

10
welcomed by the cheerful murmur of the thronging crowds,
    and by the clear plaudits of the populace.
come forth, O blessed one, take up the commonwealth,
    you have been too torpid in the shade too long:
now grow accustomed to the renowned footsteps of your ancestors

15
praestantioris aemulus.
pulchram tibi hic sit primus ad famam dies;
at nemo norit ultimum.

15
emulous of one more preeminent.
let this here be for you a fair first day toward fame;
but let no one know the last.

187. AD MAGNAM BRITANNIAM

187. TO GREAT BRITAIN

Reddidit antiquum tibi, magna Britannia, nomen
rex magnus, magnos dum facit ille suos.

He has restored to you, great Britain, the ancient name
a great king, while he makes his own men great.

188. DE REGIS REDITU E SCOTIA

188. ON THE KING'S RETURN FROM SCOTLAND

Nil Ptolomaeus agit, caelique volumina nescit,
nam nunc a gelido cardine (Phoebe) redis,
et veris formosa rosis Aurora refulget;
hunc, precor, aeternum reddat Apollo diem.

Ptolemy does nothing, and he does not know the volumes of the sky,
for now from the icy pole, (Phoebe) you return,
and Aurora, beautiful with the roses of spring, shines back;
may Apollo, I pray, render this day eternal.

189. AD AMPLISSIMUM TOTIUS ANGLIAE CANCELLARIUM, FRANCISCUM BACONUM

189. TO THE MOST AMPLE CHANCELLOR OF ALL ENGLAND, FRANCIS BACON

Debet multa tibi veneranda (Bacone) poesis
    illo de docto perlepidoque libro,
qui manet inscriptus Veterum Sapientia; famae
    et per cuncta tuae secla manebit opus;
multaque te celebrent quanquam tua scripta, fatebor

Venerable poesy owes many things to you, (Bacon),
    for that learned and very delightful book,
which remains inscribed “The Wisdom of the Ancients”; for your fame
    and through all ages the work will remain;
and although your writings, I will confess, celebrate you in many ways,

5
ingenue, hoc laute tu mihi, docte, sapis.

5
Ingenuously, in this, you, to me, learned one, have elegant taste.

190. AD EUNDEM

190. TO THE SAME

Patre, nec immerito, quamvis amplissimus esset,
    amplior, ut virtus, sic tibi crescit honor.
quantus ades, seu te spinosa volumina iuris,
    seu schola, seu dulcis Musa (Bacone) vocat!
quam super ingenti tua re Prudentia regnat,

By your father, and not undeservedly, although he was most ample,
    greater, as virtue does, so does honor grow for you.
how great you appear, whether the thorny volumes of law,
    or the school, or the sweet Muse (Bacon) calls you!
how over your vast estate Prudence reigns,

5
et tota aethereo nectare lingua madens!
quam bene cum tacita nectis gravitate lepores!
quam semel admissis stat tuus almus amor!

5
and your whole tongue soaked with ethereal nectar!
how well you weave charms with silent gravity!
how, once admitted, your kindly nurturing love stands fast!

haud stupet aggest mens in fulgore metalli;
nunquam visa tibi est res peregrina, dare.

not stupefied is the mind at the heaped-up effulgence of metal;
never has the thing, to give, seemed foreign to you.

10
o factum egregie, tua (rex clarissime) tali
gratia cum splendet suspicienda viro!

10
O deed excellently done, your (most illustrious king) of such a
grace, when it shines, is to be looked up to by a man!

191. AD HYMETTUM

191. TO HYMETTUS

Sis probus usque licet, timidus tamen ipse tepsum
deseris, obsequio debet inesse modus,
vilis erit cunctis sibi qui vilescit, Hymette;
non omnis pudor aut utilis aut bonus est.

Although you may be upright all along, yet, being timid, you desert your very self;
in obsequiousness there ought to be a measure,
vile to all will be the man who makes himself vile, Hymettus;
not every modesty is either useful or good.

192. AD EDOARDUM MYCHELBURNUM

192. TO EDWARD MYCHELBURN

Nostrarum quoties prendit me nausea rerum,
    accipio librum mox, Edoarde, tuum,
suavem qui spirat plenus velut hortus odorem,
    et verni radios aetheris intus habet.
illo defessam recreo mentemque animumque,

Whenever the nausea of our affairs seizes me,
    I at once take up your book, Edward,
which, full as a garden, breathes a suave odor,
    and within has the rays of vernal aether.
With that I recreate my wearied mind and spirit,

5
ad ioca corridens deliciasque tuas;
haud contemnendo vel seria tecta lepore,
cuncta argumentis splendidiora suis.
haec quorsum premis? ut pereant quis talia condit?

5
smiling at your jests and delights;
not to be despised are even serious things veiled with charm,
all things more splendid by their own arguments.
to what end do you press these? that they may perish? who composes such things to perish?

edere si non vis omnibus, ede tibi.

if you do not wish to publish for everyone, eat it yourself.

193. AD SITIM

193. TO THIRST

Sitis malorum pessimum,
aegris molestum sobriis,
sanis inutile ebriis,
si sanus ullo sit modo
qui non nisi ut bibat, bibit,

Thirst, the worst of evils,
troublesome to the sick, to the sober,
inutile to the sound, to inebriates,
if he be sane in any way
who drinks only so that he may drink,

5
semper palude plus madens,
sig. B 12v sitiens tamen nosta magis
multa arena solibus.
nunc est benigna ut sis, Sitis,
bustis avari Castoris

5
always wetter with the swamp,
sig. B 12v yet thirsting the more, our much sand, beneath the suns.
now be kindly, Thirst,
to the burial-mounds of avaricious Castor

10
diesque noctesque assidue,
qui te volens vivens tulit;
consort amicum protege,
picto sedens in marmore;
qui nubilo caelo cave

10
days and nights assiduously,
who, willing and living, bore you;
protect the amicable consort,
sitting on painted marble;
who, under a nubilous sky, beware

15
ne sic madescat, Castoris
ut ossa sicca perluat;
sed unicum te sentiat
qui te colebat unicus,
sorore cum tua Fame:

15
lest he thus get drenched, Castor’s
so that it would wash through the dry bones;
but let him feel you alone
who alone worshiped you,
together with your sister, Famine:

20
at non amantem me tui
cum febre pariter desere,
Sitis, malorum pessimum.

20
but do not, me, a lover of you,
abandon together with fever,
Thirst, the worst of evils.

194. AD LUPUM

194. TO LUPUS

Nemo virtutem non laudat, saevit et idem
in vitium, hoc hominum sed, Lupe, more facit.
nam quis ob hoc drachmam virtuti praebet egenti?
aut in se vitium non amat, atque fovet?

No one fails to praise virtue, and the same man rages
against vice; but this, Lupe, he does in the way of men.
For who on account of this offers a drachma to needy virtue?
or does not love and foster vice in himself?

195. AD EURUM

195. TO EURUS

Insanum cupidis labris ne tange Lyaeum;
sic minus audentem te trahet, Eure, Venus.
nec Veneri indulge, quamvis bona forma vocabit;
nam minus in votis sic tibi Bacchus erit.

Do not touch insane Lyaeus with desirous lips;
thus Venus will draw you, Eurus, less boldly.
nor indulge Venus, although goodly beauty will call;
for thus Bacchus will be less among your desires.

196. AD GALLUM

196. TO GALLUS

Quod nemo fecit sanus, neque fecerit unquam,
    tu facis, invideas cum mala, Galle, Fabro;
sollicitus domini quod nunc terit atria magni;
    at nescis hac quam conditione perit;
qui soli parat usque adeo servire patrono,

What no sane man has done, nor would ever do,
    you do: you, Gallus, with malice envy Faber;
because, anxious, he now wears down the atria of a great lord;
    but you do not know on what terms he perishes by this;
he who prepares to serve a single patron to such a degree,

5
    ut non prospiciat libera tecta sibi.
idque cavet dominus, modice dum plurima donat;
    perpetuo, at parco fomite spemque levat.
vixque solubilibus vinctum tenet usque catenis,
    exercens variis nocte dieque modis,

5
    so that he not look out for a free roof for himself.
and the master guards against this, while he gives very many things moderately;
    and with perpetual, yet sparing fuel, he sustains hope.
and scarcely, with loosable chains, he holds him bound all the while,
    exercising him in various ways by night and by day,

10
de libertatis nequando cogitet usu.
iam vice vis fungi, livide Galle, Fabri?

10
lest he ever think about the use of liberty.
now in turn do you wish to perform Faber’s office, livid Gallus?

197. AD LECESTERLANDIUM

197. TO LEICESTERLAND

Amplis grandisonisque, Lecesterlandie, verbis
implacibiliter vociferare soles,
uxor dum queritur quod fit tibi curta cupellex;
fibula sed verbis aequiparanda tuis.

With ample and grandisonous words, Leicesterlandian,
you are wont implacably to vociferate,
while your wife complains that your furnishings become curtailed;
but the clasp ought to be made equal to your words.

198. AD HIPPUM

198. TO HIPPUS

Quanquam non simplex votum, facis attamen unum;
nam praeter vinum nil petis, Hippe, bonum.

Although your vow is not simple, yet you make but one;
for, apart from wine, you seek nothing good, Hippus.

199. AD FAUSTINUM

199. TO FAUSTINUS

Da mihi, da semper, nam quod, Faustine, dedisti
esse datum nollem; res cito parva perit.
sin taedet, dandoque vilis imponere finem,
da semel, ut nunquam cogar egere datis.

Give to me, give always, for what, Faustinus, you have given
I would not wish to be counted as given; a small thing quickly perishes.
but if you are weary, and, being stingy, to put an end to giving,
give once, so that I may never be forced to be in need of gifts.

200. AD PHLOEN

200. TO PHLOE

Quid custodita de virginitate superbis,
    iam licet annumeris ter tria lustra, Phloe?
intactam nam te cum vix tria lustra videbas,
    haud potuit cassa vendere lena nuce.
gloria virginitas formosis, dedecus aeque

Why do you boast of guarded virginity,
    now though you may count thrice three lustra, Phloe?
for when you, untouched, were scarcely seeing three lustra,
    a bawd could not sell you for an empty nut.
virginity is a glory for the beautiful, equally a disgrace

5
turpibus est, aetas si sit utrique gravis.

5
to the ugly it is a disgrace, if age be weighty for both.

201. AD VOLUMNIUM

201. TO VOLUMNIUS

Rident rusticulam, anseremque multi,
ignavos asinos, oves, bovesque;
at non est homine imperitiore
irridendum animal magis, Volumni;
tanto ridiculos magis, Volumni, est,

They laugh at a rustic girl, and many at a goose,
at lazy asses, sheep, and oxen;
but there is no animal more to be derided
than a more unskilled man, Volumnius;
so much the more ridiculous, Volumnius, is,

5
quanto plus sapere obtinet videri.
nam quis non medicum excipit Ligonem,
vectum quadrupede, intimis chachinnis,
Coum qui colit atuqe Pergamenum?
multis sed sapit, imperatque multis

5
the more he manages to appear to be wise.
for who does not welcome the medic Ligo,
borne on a quadruped, with the deepest guffaws,
he who cultivates the Coan and the Pergamene?
but to many he is “wise,” and he commands many

10
ut vitae dominus, tremorque mortis.
tanto ridiculus magis, Volumni, est.

10
as lord of life, and the tremor of death.
so much the more ridiculous, Volumni, he is.

202. AD MYCILLUM

202. TO MYCILLUS

Nullos non laudas, Suffenos, sive Cherillos,
seu quos in circo cruda iuventa legit;
candidus hinc censor dici contendis, at omnes
qui laudat, nullum laude, Mycille, beat.

You praise no one not, the Suffeni or the Cherilli alike,
or those whom raw youth selects in the circus;
from this you strive to be called a candid censor, but he who
praises all, Mycillus, blesses no one with praise.

203. AD FURIUM

203. TO FURIUS

Semper ad arma soles, Furi, clamare; cubili
sive lates, seu te compita plena vident.
sed nunquam profers Veneris sint, Martis an arma;
utcunque infoelix, te duce, miles erit.

Always are you wont to shout “to arms,” Furi; from your bed
whether you lurk, or the teeming crossroads see you.
but you never declare whether the arms are Venus’s or Mars’s;
whichever way, ill‑fated, with you as leader, the soldier will be.

204. AD HELYN

204. TO HELYN

Captat amatores quoties se dicit amare;
fallax obsequium est; non amat, hamat Helys.

Captures lovers whenever she says she loves;
her obsequiousness is fallacious; Helys does not love, she hooks.

205. AD VINCENTIUVM

205. TO VINCENTIUS

Dum placeo tibi, Vincenti, mea plurima poscis
mutua, te simul ac ceperit ira levis,
mox eadem quamvis male custodita remittis;
lucrum est, Vincenti, displicuisse tibi.

While I please you, Vincent, you demand very many of my things
on loan; as soon as a slight anger seizes you,
soon you return these same things, although badly kept;
it is a profit, Vincent, to have displeased you.

206. IN HEBRAM

206. AGAINST HEBRUS

Difficilis non est, nec amantem respuit unum;
unum vero unum vix amat Hebra diem.

She is not difficult, nor does she reject one lover;
indeed, Hebra scarcely loves one for one day.

207. AD CACCULAM

207. TO CACCULA

Dicere te invitum cuiquam male, Caccula, iuras;
invitus tune es (Caccula) causidicus?

You swear, Caccula, that you are unwilling to speak ill to anyone;
are you then an unwilling (Caccula) advocate?

208. AD CALVUM

208. TO CALVUS

Lingua proterva, rapax manus, et gula, Calve, profunda;
    haec tria sunt Davi commoda sola tui.
illo praetereunte fremunt quacunque molossi;
    sentit et in primo limine nostra canis.
adveniente coci removent patinasque cibosque

An impudent tongue, a rapacious hand, and, Calvus, a deep gullet;
    these three are the only advantages of your Davus.
wherever he passes by, Molossian hounds growl;
    and even at the very first threshold our dog senses him.
at the cook’s arrival they remove both platters and foods

5
    arctius et retinet pallia quisque sua.
audito fugitant foemellae; Caccula quamquam
    natus litigiis, illius ora timet.
saepe domi ne te nunc visam terret imago
    Orci, nam servat Cerberus ipse fores.

5
    and each man holds his cloaks tighter.
on hearing him the girls flee; although Caccula,
    born litigious, fears his face.
often at home the image of Orcus now frightens me, lest I see you;
    for Cerberus himself guards the doors.

10
diis genitos quaeras, hunc ni dimittis, amicos,
clavisque accinctos Amphitrioniades.

10
seek friends begotten of gods, unless you dismiss this fellow,
and Amphitryoniads girt with clubs.

209. AD PHILOCHERMUM

209. TO PHILOCHERMUS

Quaeris tu quare tibi musica nulla placeret;
quaero ego, cur nulli tu, Philocherme, places?

You ask why no music pleases you;
I ask why you, Philocherme, please no one?

210. AD DOCTOS POETAS

210. TO THE LEARNED POETS

Nullus Maecenas dabit hac aetate poetis
ut vivant; melius sed bona fama dabit.

No Maecenas will give in this age to poets
so that they may live; but good fame will give better.

211. AD RUSTICUM

211. TO RUSTICUS

Rustice, sta, paucis dum te moror, auribus adsis;
dic age, cuias es? Salsburiensis, ais?
Pembrochi viduam num tu Sidneida nosti?
non: saltem natos?

Countryman, stop, while I detain you for a few words, lend me your ears;
come, say, of what place are you? Salisburian, you say?
Do you know the Sidney widow at Pembroke?
no: at least her sons?

cum sit uterque potens;
a thalamis alter regis celeberrimus heros;

since each is powerful;
the other, from the king’s bedchambers, a most celebrated hero;

5
alter at in thalamis? proh tenebrose, negas?
inclitus ergo Senex Hertfordius an tibi notus?

5
the other, however, in the bridal chambers? ah, tenebrous one, do you deny?
is the illustrious Elder Hertford then known to you?

tantumdem: coniux quid speciosa senis?
non: non? anne tuum scis nomen?

just the same: what of the beautiful spouse of the old man?
no: no? or do you know your own name?

si id quoque nescis,
caetera condono hac conditione tibi.

if you do not know that either,
I pardon the rest to you on this condition.

212. AD CACCULAM

212. TO CACCULA

Causidicus tota cum sis notissimus urbe,
atque alienas res irrequietus agas,
ducere cur cessas uxorem, Caccula? lites
non est ut fugias, litigiosus homo es.

Since you are the most notorious advocate in the whole city,
and restlessly prosecute other people’s cases,
why do you delay to take a wife, Caccula? Lawsuits
are not something you can flee: you are a litigious man.

213. AD CALVUM

213. TO CALVUS

Atrioniam ut pulchram laudas, ut denique bellam,
    at minor hac Rhodius forte colossus erat.
et capite, ac humeris superaret Amazonas omnes;
    ad quam, si confers, Penthesilea foret
qualis cum vetula pappat nutrice puella;

You praise Atrionia as beautiful, as, in fine, beauteous,
    but the Rhodian Colossus was perhaps smaller than this.
and by head and shoulders she would surpass all the Amazons;
    to whom, if you compare, Penthesilea would be
like a girl when she eats pap with an old nurse;

5
    sola gigantei est germinis illa fides.
cum video, spectrum videor mihi (Calve) videre,
    et vix luminibus cernere vera meis.
cuius ne temere attentes tu basia, totum,
    eius in os poterit nam caput ire tuum.

5
    that alone is the credential of a gigantic stock.
when I see, I seem to myself, (Calve), to see a specter,
    and scarcely with my eyes to discern what is real.
do not you rashly aim your kisses at her, for your whole,
    head will be able, namely, to go into her mouth.

214. DE SACRA DOTE

214. ON THE SACRED DOWRY

Verba sacerdotem duo constituunt, sacer, et dos;
saepe sed occurrit vir sine dote sacer.

Two words constitute sacerdos: sacer and dos;
but often there occurs a sacred man without a dowry.

215. AD RUFUM

215. TO RUFUS

Quos toties nummos oras, tibi, Rufe, negare
    relligio est; gravius, sed dare, forsan erit.
nam meus infaustus cunctis solet aureus esse,
    et semper damni plus mea dona ferunt.
conciet hinc Bacchus, vel fallax alea bellum;

Those coins you so often beg for, Rufus, to deny to you
    is a scruple; but to give them, perhaps, will be graver.
for my ill-omened gold piece is wont to be ill-omened to all,
    and my gifts always bring more of loss.
from this Bacchus, or fallacious dice, incites war;

5
    labe vel asperget non bene parta Venus;
omnia sponte sua mala quae vitabit egestas:
    nescis quas turbas plena crumena dabit.
damnosos iuveni currus invitus Apollo
    concessit, nummos sic tibi, Rufe, nego.

5
    Venus will sprinkle with a stain what has not been well gotten;
poverty will avoid all evils of its own accord:
    you do not know what tumults a full purse will give.
to the youth Apollo, unwilling, granted the damaging chariots;
    thus I deny the coins to you, Rufus.

10
nec promissa deus potuit revocare nociva,
sed tibi promitto, sed tibi dono nihil.
tu fortunatos qui prosint, quaere patronos;
ast ego, ne noceant nostra, cavebo tibi.

10
nor could the god revoke the harmful promises,
but I promise you nothing, but I give you nothing.
seek fortunate patrons who may be of benefit;
but I will take care for you, lest mine harm you.

216. AD GALLUM

216. TO GALLUS

Perdidit ebrietas multos, tibi proficit uni,
    Galle, licet valide membra caputque gravet.
hinc morbum simulas et acuta pericula lecto
    postridie stratus vix animamque trahens;
tunc inimicias componis et eximis iris

Ebriety has destroyed many; for you alone it profits,
    Gallus, though it heavily weighs down the limbs and the head.
From this you simulate sickness and acute dangers, laid out on the bed
    the next day, scarcely dragging even your breath;
then you compose enmities and remove wraths

5
    expositum pectus sollicitumque metu,
et pacem accitis evincis ab hostibus. omnes
    expiraturis nam decet esse pios;
deinde reviviscis cuncto securus ab hoste,
    et Martem Bacchum fallere, Galle, doces.

5
    with your breast laid bare and anxious with fear,
and you win peace from summoned enemies. all
    for it befits to be pious toward those about to breathe their last;
then you come back to life, safe from every enemy,
    and you teach, Galle, how to cheat Mars with Bacchus.

217. AD CACCULAM

217. TO CACCULA

Quae speciem instaurant partes has, Caccula, verum est
ad speciem quod habes; nec tamen ad speciem.

The parts that instaurate your appearance, Caccula, it is true
what you have is for show; yet not for seeing.

218. AD STELLAM

218. TO STELLA

Pictor formosam quod finxit, Stella, Minervam
carpis; at hoc similis fit magis illa tibi.

Because the painter fashioned fair Minerva, Stella, you carp;
but by this she becomes more similar to you.

219. AD PONTICUM

219. TO PONTICUS

Uxorem nosti Camerini, (Pontice) quam sit
    toto deformis corpore et ore tetro:
casta tibi visa, et merito; sed moecha reperta est;
    hanc vir hesterno prendit adulterio.
proh, quantum saevisse putas? nil, Pontice, laetus

You know Camerinus’s wife, (Ponticus) how
    deformed she is in her whole body and with a foul face:
chaste she seemed to you, and deservedly; but she was discovered an adulteress;
    her husband caught her yesterday in adultery.
ah, how much do you think he raged? not at all, Ponticus—glad

5
ipsam sed laudans coepit amare magis;
nam credebat, ait, turpem prius; atque adeo ut, se
praeter, qui ferret tangere nemo foret.

5
but praising her herself he began to love her more;
for, he says, he had believed her ugly before; and indeed to such an extent that,
except for himself, there would be no one who would bear to touch her.

220. AD BLANDINUM

220. TO BLANDINUS

Immemor esse tui dicor, Blandine, mearum
nulla tuum siquidem pagina nomen habet.
sed Blandine, iterum atque iterum, Blandine legaris,
ne, Blandine, ferar non memor esse tui.

I am said to be unmindful of you, Blandine, in my pages
for indeed no page holds your name.
but, Blandine, again and again, Blandine, be read,
lest, Blandine, I be reputed not mindful of you.

221. AD MARIANUM

221. TO MARIANUS

Prudens pharmacopola saepe vendit
quid pro quo, Mariane, quod reprendis.
hoc tu sed facis, oenopola, semper.

A prudent pharmacopolist often sells
quid pro quo, Mariane, which you reprove.
But this you, oenopolist, do always.

222. AD THOMAM MUNSONIUM, EQUITEM AURATUM ET BARONETUM

222. TO THOMAS MUNSON, A KNIGHT OF THE GOLDEN SPUR AND A BARONET

Quicquid in adversis potuit constantia rebus,
Munsoni, meritis accumulare tuis
addidit, et merito victrix dea, iamque sat ipse
fama et fortunis integer amplius eris.

Whatever in adverse affairs constancy could accumulate to your merits,
Munson, it has added; and, deservedly, the conquering goddess as well; and now you yourself
will be — sufficient —
unimpaired in fame and fortunes, and even more.

223. AD EUNDEM

223. TO THE SAME

Ne te spes revocet nec splendor vitreus aulae;
in te, Munsoni, spes tua maior erit.

Let not hope call you back, nor the vitreous splendor of the hall;
in yourself, Munsoni, your hope will be greater.

224. AD GULIELMUM STRACHAEUM

224. TO WILLIAM STRACHEY

Paucos iam veteri meo sodali
versus ludere, musa, ne graveris,
te nec taedeat his adesse nugis,
semper nam mihi charus ille comptis
summus Pieridum unicusque cultor.

A few now for my old companion
verses to play, Muse, do not be burdened,
nor let it weary you to be present at these trifles,
for he has always been dear to me in polished things
the foremost and unique cultivator of the Pierides.

5
hoc ergo breve, musa, solve carmen
Strachaeo veteri meo sodali.

5
therefore, Muse, unloose this brief song
for Strachey, my old companion.

225. AD LECTOREM

225. TO THE READER

Fit sine lege liber, salvo cui demere toto
particulas licet, aut apposuisse novas.
sat, lector, numeri; numeris si sat tibi factum est;
cui numeri potius, quam numerosa placent.

A book is made without law, yet it is safe for one to remove little particles from the whole,
or to have appended new ones.
enough, reader, of numbers; if enough has been done for you by numbers;
for whom numbers please rather than the numerous.